Does it hurt the “first time”? Can vaginismus affect intimacy? How can it be treated? This gynaecologist breaks it down for Brut.
👩 : Proactive For Her
👩 : Proactive For Her
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00:00Vaginismus is because there is something wrong with the vagina and that's not true.
00:04Sex always hurts the first time and with time it improves and we want to bust that myth.
00:09A lot of people feel vaginismus is because of the hymen obstructing the penis from going in
00:16and this is far from the truth. Vaginismus or vaginismus means difficulty in allowing
00:22vaginal penetration of anything. It could be a finger when you're trying to put a tampon or a cup.
00:28It could be a gynecologist finger. It could be an instrument or it could be a penis during a
00:33sexual situation even though you really really want to do it. We don't have a vocabulary around
00:38this condition and hence it takes a lot of time for her to even start speaking about it. There's
00:43a lot of delay in you know her receiving treatment and she even realizing what she has. This girl
00:49goes into a sense of you know silence and withdraws from the society because she starts
00:55to feel that she's defective in some way. She's inadequate in some way because we are all taught
01:00to believe this is one of our main role as a woman right in our society and if we can't do that then
01:06who are we? A lot of times there is a misconception that vaginismus is because there is something
01:11wrong with the vagina and that's not true. Vaginismus is not an issue of the structure
01:16of the vagina. It's not because of the hymen. It's not because of the space but the issue is
01:22the muscles around the vagina are contracting or they're spasming or tightening whenever there is
01:27an attempt to penetrate the vagina. That's simply because your mind perceives penetration as a
01:33threat and hence when something comes close to the vagina your mind sends a signal to the
01:38vaginal muscles to close the door. Maximum women got vaginismus in our program
01:44because they heard from somewhere that sex always hurts the first time and with time it improves
01:51and we want to bust that myth. Your vagina will also undergo an erection provided you are aroused.
01:57Just as a guy cannot penetrate without erection why should you penetrate without an erection?
02:02So but when a woman gets an erection this three to four inches balloons out to a five to six inch
02:08barrel. This is the design of painless pleasurable intercourse that every woman deserves to have.
02:16A lot of people feel vaginismus is because of the hymen obstructing the penis from going in
02:23and this is far from the truth. In fact a lot of people are advised hymen surgeries to open the
02:29hymen so that vaginismus heals. Just opening the hymen is not going to help. The issue here
02:34is your muscle contracting. That's because of an unscientific approach at vaginismus. We are
02:40just treating the vagina. We are not looking at the mind. We start with something called as
02:45vaginal training. Training your mind and your vaginal muscles to relax in presence of an
02:51external object at the vagina. Instead of starting directly with the penis we first start with
02:56something called as vaginal trainers which are also called as vaginal dilators. They are of
03:01graduated sizes going up to a size that is as big as an erect penis. We make it a very gentle
03:07process by teaching her a lot of relaxation techniques. Techniques to make this a pain-free
03:13process. We also include pleasure in this because our whole goal here is not just to have painless
03:19penetration but also to make it pleasurable. We move on to the third step wherein the partner
03:26starts to get involved with her in case she has a partner in which we start to first build a lot of
03:31emotional intimacy. Then we go into sensate focus and partner dilation. The last step is of course
03:37vaginal penetration. We take it in a very trauma sensitive, in a very gentle way and ensuring that
03:44the whole process is painless, pleasurable and she feels supported.