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AmusantTranscription
00:00:30C'est la nouvelle arme anti-tank avec les meilleures spécifications techniques.
00:00:34Nous pensons que l'entreprise SM est la plus qualifiée en matière de défense,
00:00:38en particulier en matière de supplie aux armes laser.
00:00:41Oui, notre entreprise est capable de produire une grande quantité
00:00:45sous un schéma de temps strict.
00:00:47Et nous pourrions faire un travail très attirant.
00:00:50Nous devons nous concentrer sur l'intérêt de l'entreprise SM.
00:00:53Nous devons nous concentrer sur l'intérêt de l'entreprise SM.
00:00:55Nous devons nous concentrer sur l'intérêt de l'entreprise SM.
00:00:58General Cain, de quoi ressemble l'arme anti-tank qui le Corps SM a tenté d'acheter?
00:01:05C'est probablement pas tellement mal!
00:01:07C'est probablement pas tellement mal!
00:01:09Bonsoir.
00:01:10Bonsoir.
00:01:11Bonsoir.
00:01:13Eh bien, mesdames.
00:01:16Eh bien, mesdames.
00:01:17Eh bien, mesdames.
00:01:18Bonsoir!
00:01:19Bonsoir!
00:01:20Bonsoir!
00:01:22Eh bien, mesdames.
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00:47:32Okay.
00:47:34Alright.
00:47:36I'll count to three and we throw them both down.
00:47:39Are you ready?
00:47:41Promise?
00:47:42We promise.
00:47:45Cross your hearts and hope to die?
00:47:49Cross our hearts and hope to die.
00:47:51Okay.
00:47:53One...
00:47:55Two...
00:47:56Three!
00:47:58I knew it! I knew it! You liars!
00:48:00You cheaters!
00:48:02Are you really gonna get it?
00:48:06Let's get him!
00:48:07Come on!
00:48:10Get him!
00:48:11I work here!
00:48:12Let me go! Please let me go!
00:48:15He's crazy!
00:48:16I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy!
00:48:18I tell you, I'm not crazy!
00:48:20We know that!
00:48:21You work for us, right?
00:48:22Right!
00:48:23My secretary's being sexually ballistic!
00:48:25Will you let me go?
00:48:26Move it!
00:48:27We can talk about it down at headquarters.
00:48:29It's gonna be too late!
00:48:30Melinda!
00:48:31I'll save you!
00:48:32Don't tell him anything!
00:48:53Nice ruby.
00:48:56Tomorrow's a sci-fi day.
00:48:59Three in the corner.
00:49:02Eight balls in the front pocket.
00:49:04How about a Spartacus in the center pocket?
00:49:19Excuse me!
00:49:20Melinda!
00:49:21Is that you?
00:49:22Do I know you?
00:49:23Yeah, it's me, Michael.
00:49:24I'm Casey Humble and Smith.
00:49:25Remember I told you half my life story?
00:49:27Oh, right!
00:49:28Look, hey, Michael, I'm sorry about the bookcase.
00:49:30Excuse me, I have to go find Debbie.
00:49:32Oh, wait a minute!
00:49:33So we had our first fight.
00:49:35Big deal, forget it, forget it, huh?
00:49:36You wanna have dinner?
00:49:37You wanna go for a smoothie?
00:49:39You wanna hear the other half of my life story?
00:49:43Debbie!
00:49:44Debbie!
00:49:45I locked myself out of the apartment.
00:49:46I can't get in.
00:49:47Oh, Melinda, what are you doing here?
00:49:49Well, I kept Cranston late at the office.
00:49:51Hey, I love your costume!
00:49:53Debbie!
00:49:54Oh, my God!
00:49:58You've got me burnin' down to the ground!
00:50:03Who is that?
00:50:04Oh, that's Major Magnum.
00:50:06He's in the Army Intelligence Office.
00:50:08Major, huh?
00:50:09I'll see you later, Debbie.
00:50:10Okay!
00:50:11Great!
00:50:21Excuse me, excuse me!
00:50:22I don't mean to be forward,
00:50:23but I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
00:50:26Well, thank you very much.
00:50:27My name is Abdul Ali Fassad.
00:50:30Pleased to meet you.
00:50:31I am a man of few words.
00:50:33I would be honored if you stayed with me
00:50:35after the party is over.
00:50:36I am a woman of few words.
00:50:38Forget it!
00:50:39I have more words I could speak.
00:50:41I will make a fairy worth your while.
00:50:43Really?
00:50:44Yes, I could give you money, diamonds,
00:50:46yachts, carpets, anything.
00:50:49Let's do it, my darling.
00:50:52Before you get it all together.
00:50:53Not too long.
00:50:54Good.
00:50:55About three years.
00:50:56Three years?
00:50:57The files are all disorganized.
00:50:59What about our spies in Russia?
00:51:01They're working on it.
00:51:02Oh, good.
00:51:03How long will that take?
00:51:04A couple of years.
00:51:05Oh, this is awful.
00:51:07What about our surveillance satellites in outer space?
00:51:09You see, the problem is you can't reprogram those things.
00:51:12However, we are working on a plan.
00:51:15Ern, we're going to send up a whole new satellite,
00:51:18and that bugger is going to give us everything we want.
00:51:21Oh, good.
00:51:22How long will that take?
00:51:23I figure a year for the launch
00:51:24and a couple of years to process the data.
00:51:26Oh, this is disaster.
00:51:28I know it.
00:51:29Once the Russians find out how vulnerable we are,
00:51:32there's no telling what they'll do.
00:51:34Oh, I'm not going to sleep tonight, that's for sure.
00:51:37Neither am I.
00:51:38Oh, it's times like these
00:51:40when I wish I weren't the responsible,
00:51:43responsible patriot that I am.
00:51:45You know, Ern,
00:51:46you said responsible twice there.
00:51:48Well, of course I did.
00:51:49When you're dealing with someone as responsible as I am,
00:51:51you can't use the word responsible too often.
00:51:54Gotcha.
00:52:08Yes?
00:52:13Major?
00:52:14Yeah?
00:52:15I have some confidential material for you.
00:52:19You do?
00:52:20You do?
00:52:26How did you know?
00:52:33Major Magnum's office.
00:52:35This is Melinda, his new secretary.
00:52:39Well, the Major is busy right now.
00:52:43Well, I can handle that issue.
00:52:45I have the proper security coverage.
00:52:51I'm sorry, Agent Blue Devil, that code is inoperative.
00:52:54Please check the security access code
00:52:56in your new data packet.
00:52:58Yes, I'll inform the Major.
00:53:07Sir, the press corps is here. Are you ready?
00:53:10Oh, yes.
00:53:12Oh, yes.
00:53:15I'll be right out.
00:53:21Right this way, please.
00:53:23Who goes there?
00:53:25The press corps, sir. Your ten o'clock meeting.
00:53:27Ah, ten o'clock.
00:53:30I'll make a meeting.
00:53:32I mean, I'd be happy to start the meeting.
00:53:37Major Magnum, is it true the Pentagon
00:53:39has lost vital military secrets on Russia?
00:53:42Secrets? I have no secrets.
00:53:44Major, if there's something going on under the table,
00:53:46we want to know about it.
00:53:48Oh, no, no, there's nothing under my table.
00:53:51You're taking this very hard, Major.
00:53:53Is something eating you?
00:53:54Oh, no, no, no, it's just an allergy.
00:53:56I'll be all right.
00:53:58Major, in the last military cover-up,
00:54:00this country got sucked into something very big.
00:54:02Big?
00:54:03You're not terribly well informed, Major.
00:54:05It appears the two officers are spending
00:54:06too much time behind your desk.
00:54:08Oh, no, no, no, I like it.
00:54:09I like it behind my desk.
00:54:11We came here to find out what happened
00:54:13to the Pentagon computer.
00:54:14Frankly, the ball's in your court.
00:54:16Balls!
00:54:17What do you expect us to tell the American public?
00:54:22Can I quote that?
00:54:25I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen,
00:54:26the Major is not feeling well today.
00:54:30He seems to be having a reaction to something...
00:54:34Perhaps to something that he ate.
00:54:37Now, by tomorrow afternoon,
00:54:39I should have a press release for you
00:54:40that should answer any questions you might have.
00:54:43Now, can you please see your way out?
00:54:45Thank you.
00:54:47I'm coming!
00:54:48That's quite okay. Don't get up.
00:54:49We can see our way out.
00:54:59I'm calling from Melinda Griffin's office.
00:55:02Hold, please, for Melinda Griffin.
00:55:04Do you have Melinda's files ready?
00:55:06Melinda wants this type.
00:55:09Melinda wants the computer report.
00:55:13Here's the status report for Melinda.
00:55:15If you think you're going to change
00:55:17the way things work around here, young lady,
00:55:20you've got another guest coming.
00:55:22Miss Perkins, I...
00:55:23Now, if anybody does any hiring around here
00:55:28or rehiring, it's me.
00:55:31I didn't know.
00:55:32There is a chain of command here
00:55:35and I will not allow that chain to be broken.
00:55:40Colonel Bryan's office.
00:55:43No, he's busy right now,
00:55:44but I could handle that matter for you.
00:55:46The Pentagon has a standard operating procedure
00:55:50in regard to the hiring of personnel
00:55:52that has been worked out
00:55:53by the finest efficiency experts in the world.
00:55:57I'd rather not disturb Brigadier General Drake.
00:56:01I'll speak with the Secretary of State.
00:56:04I warn you, young lady,
00:56:07don't ever do this again.
00:56:11Yes, Senator, we're aware
00:56:12that the Arms Committee needs that information.
00:56:14General Watson and I are on our way.
00:56:16All right. Thank you.
00:56:21Perkins isn't going to like it.
00:56:23General Watson, I just can't believe
00:56:25how much you've accomplished at this place.
00:56:27Well, you could do the same thing too, Debbie,
00:56:29if you wanted to.
00:56:30I don't know.
00:56:31Maybe someday.
00:56:37Why don't you look where you're going, you jerk?
00:56:39Hey, who's calling who a jerk?
00:56:40You weren't even looking.
00:56:41I was the one who was backing out first.
00:56:43Wrong. I was backing out.
00:56:44Melinda, would you please tell this bozo
00:56:46whose fault it was?
00:56:47I don't know. I didn't see it.
00:56:49Don't I know you from somewhere?
00:56:50Oh, knock it off, buster.
00:56:52She wasn't born yesterday.
00:56:53Ashtabula.
00:56:54Right. Ashtabula.
00:56:56Ashtabula?
00:56:57Yeah. How you doing?
00:56:58Fine. How about you?
00:56:59What are you doing here at the Pentagon?
00:57:01She referees car accidents.
00:57:02Now, may I see your license, please?
00:57:04I work here.
00:57:05No kidding. That's great.
00:57:06You know, I was hoping I'd run into you.
00:57:08You sure did.
00:57:09And you're going to pay for the damage, Bill.
00:57:11Slater?
00:57:12Yeah, that's right. Bill Slater.
00:57:14You know something?
00:57:15You look a bit familiar yourself.
00:57:17Oh, it really was my fault.
00:57:19There was no damage.
00:57:20Come on, Melinda.
00:57:21We'll be late for the opera.
00:57:23Opera? Debbie?
00:57:24Debbie Ross.
00:57:25You know Debbie?
00:57:26Yeah.
00:57:27She was the one who took off in the Corvette with my pin.
00:57:29Debbie?
00:57:30Well, I've been meaning to give that pin back to you.
00:57:33Hey, that's okay. Keep the pin.
00:57:34And I'd love to go out with you, Bill,
00:57:36but I have a date.
00:57:37Oh, that's all right.
00:57:38I've got a date with Melinda tonight.
00:57:39You do?
00:57:40We do.
00:58:07Must be, must be the night
00:58:11Can't be, can't be so right
00:58:16It can't be you and it can't be me
00:58:23Must be the night
00:58:33I don't hear the passing cars
00:58:36And though the street lights look like stars
00:58:43Must be, must be the night
00:58:47Must be, must be the night
00:58:54I had a wonderful time.
00:58:55So did I.
00:58:56I'm glad we bumped into each other again.
00:58:58Me too.
00:59:00What about a nightcap?
00:59:01A cup of coffee?
00:59:03I don't think so.
00:59:04It's awful late and we both have to work tomorrow.
00:59:07Yeah.
00:59:09Hey, I like you.
00:59:13I want to know you better.
00:59:23Will you call me?
00:59:24Yeah.
00:59:26You'll be disappointed if you don't.
00:59:28I'll call.
00:59:30Good night.
00:59:31Good night.
00:59:34Good night.
01:00:04Vraiment?
01:00:05En accord avec nos records,
01:00:06vous êtes l'employé le plus capable et le plus confiant
01:00:09dans l'ensemble du Pentagon.
01:00:11Merci, monsieur.
01:00:12Vous n'êtes pas au courant de ce que je vais vous dire.
01:00:23C'est des infos top secrètes, Mme Griffin.
01:00:26Vous pouvez m'en confier, monsieur. Je ne vous dirai rien.
01:00:29Il y a deux mois,
01:00:31un espion est entré dans notre salle de compagnie
01:00:33et a complètement éliminé
01:00:35l'enregistrement le plus sensible du système de défense de la Russie.
01:00:39C'est terrible.
01:00:40J'ai entendu parler de ça de l'espionneur.
01:00:42L'espionneur sait.
01:00:44Oui, et la presse a demandé...
01:00:46La presse.
01:00:47La presse.
01:00:48Général.
01:00:52Vous n'avez pas besoin de faire ça, Général.
01:00:55J'ai des problèmes, Mme Griffin. Des problèmes profonds.
01:00:58J'ai besoin d'aide.
01:01:00Oui, monsieur.
01:01:02Asseyez-vous, monsieur, et détendez-vous.
01:01:04On va s'en sortir.
01:01:06Asseyez-vous.
01:01:09Oh, mon Dieu.
01:01:1128 ans dans le service.
01:01:14J'avais hâte d'un autre star.
01:01:16Oh, mon Dieu.
01:01:19Je l'ai, monsieur.
01:01:21Écoutez-moi.
01:01:22Vous m'apportez une invitation à la fête demain soir
01:01:25pour l'ambassadeur russe.
01:01:27Bien sûr, n'importe quoi.
01:01:29Oh, merci.
01:01:31Merci, merci.
01:01:32Oui, monsieur.
01:01:34Oui, monsieur.
01:01:46Alors, Boris, tu te sens bien.
01:01:49Général, que fais-tu avec cette belle femme ?
01:01:52Permettez-moi de vous présenter Mme Melinda Griffin.
01:01:54Melinda, c'est Boris Nabokov, l'ambassadeur russe.
01:01:58C'est un grand plaisir
01:02:00d'accueillir une créature si magnifique comme vous.
01:02:03Merci. Bonsoir, ambassadeur.
01:02:05C'est mon secrétaire d'état.
01:02:07Son nom est si long, vous n'avez pas le temps de l'entendre.
01:02:09C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer.
01:02:10C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer.
01:02:11En tout cas, Boris, est-ce vrai que vous avez peur de la mort
01:02:14de venir ici avec le ballet de Bolshoï
01:02:15en peur des infections massives ?
01:02:17Oh, s'il vous plaît.
01:02:18Aujourd'hui, pas d'affaires.
01:02:19Aujourd'hui, c'est un jour de plaisir.
01:02:21Je sens que les relations américaines et soviétiques...
01:02:23C'est très fort.
01:02:24...vont prendre un grand pas avant.
01:02:26Je veux que vous rencontriez un grand ami.
01:02:28Colonel Stafford.
01:02:29Un joueur de chess très excitant.
01:02:31Parole, parlez-lui de ce type.
01:02:32C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer.
01:02:33Je vois que mon boss est une chose pour vous.
01:02:36Vous parlez l'anglais si bien.
01:02:38Et aussi le français, l'hébreu, le marocain, l'italien,
01:02:41la langue de signes et la langue du parti.
01:02:44Et vous êtes juste sa secrétaire ?
01:02:46Et aussi un conseiller politique,
01:02:48astrologe, chef, masseuse,
01:02:50instructeur de tennis et conseillère sexuelle.
01:02:53Conseillère sexuelle ?
01:02:54Tous les diplomates soviétiques ont une conseillère sexuelle.
01:02:57Vous voulez me dire que vous ne faites pas
01:02:59ces services pour votre pays ?
01:03:01Je donne souvent des conseils.
01:03:03Mais juste sous la table, vous comprenez ?
01:03:06Donc vous donnez des bons conseils.
01:03:09Nous avons beaucoup en commun.
01:03:11Je pense que nous devrions nous connaître mieux, Melinda.
01:03:14Oui, bien sûr.
01:03:16Soyons honnêtes, Boris.
01:03:18Même si quelques gens sont d'accord pour détruire
01:03:20vos missiles mid-range,
01:03:22vous avez vos missiles long-range en Russie.
01:03:25Ce qui peut être fait facilement.
01:03:27Vous ne pouvez pas le dénoncer.
01:03:29Oui, bien sûr.
01:03:31Bien sûr quoi ?
01:03:32Bien sûr, oui, oui, oui.
01:03:34Vous voulez dire que vous nous êtes d'accord ?
01:03:36Oui, je suis d'accord.
01:03:38Pourquoi ne pas accepter notre plan zéro options ?
01:03:41Si vous êtes d'accord, pourquoi ne pas accepter
01:03:43notre plan zéro options ?
01:03:45Melinda est d'accord pour le plan zéro options ?
01:03:49Je pense qu'elle ferait n'importe quel sacrifice
01:03:51pour atteindre ce résultat.
01:03:53Elle est une grande patrie pour nous.
01:03:55Alors, plan zéro options, je suis d'accord.
01:03:58Ah, bien.
01:03:59Vous voulez dire que vous êtes d'accord
01:04:01pour détruire vos missiles kingfish et savage en Europe
01:04:04si nous le faisons de la même façon ?
01:04:06Je vais parler au premier lieutenant.
01:04:08Oui, oui, oui.
01:04:09Mais je dois voir ce que Melinda a à dire.
01:04:12Excuse-moi.
01:04:15Zowie !
01:04:20Melinda, je suis prêt à terminer la guerre froide pour toi.
01:04:24Eh bien, bonjour, ambassadeur.
01:04:26Melinda m'a juste dit
01:04:28de l'efficacité du Pentagone.
01:04:30Elle est aussi mauvaise que celle de la Kremlin.
01:04:32Je vous propose de terminer la guerre froide pour vous.
01:04:37Vous me trompez, ce n'est pas juste.
01:04:40Je suis sérieux.
01:04:43Viens à Bermuda avec moi ce soir
01:04:45et peut-être qu'on va se faire entretenir
01:04:47de ces missiles de merde en Europe.
01:04:49Ah, ce n'est vraiment pas possible.
01:04:51Je dois aller au travail demain.
01:04:53Ah, non, non, Bermuda.
01:04:56Je t'ai dit, les Américains ne sont pas si avancés.
01:05:00Oui, merci.
01:05:02Allons pas à Bermuda.
01:05:04Allons à mon endroit.
01:05:07Écoute, pourquoi ne pas me donner mon numéro
01:05:10et tu m'appelles et...
01:05:12On va manger.
01:05:14J'ai quelque chose à lire.
01:05:20Si Comrade Khrushchev t'avait mis les yeux sur toi,
01:05:23il n'aurait jamais construit le Pentagone.
01:05:36Je me sens bien?
01:05:37Fantastique!
01:05:39Tu es magnifique, Melinda, vas-y!
01:05:41D'accord, je sais.
01:05:43C'est juste que je pense que Bill est vraiment spécial.
01:05:46J'ai toujours pensé que Bill était mignon.
01:05:49Où est-ce qu'il t'emmène?
01:05:50Au site.
01:05:51C'est un rendez-vous?
01:05:53Tu sais, Cheryl, il y a des femmes qui s'amusent vraiment
01:05:56juste d'être avec un homme
01:05:58sans lui faire passer beaucoup d'argent.
01:06:00Oui, il y en avait une.
01:06:03Au revoir.
01:06:05Si l'ambassadeur appelle,
01:06:07prends soin de toi et prends un message.
01:06:09Au revoir.
01:06:10Au revoir.
01:06:11Au revoir.
01:06:14Tu penses que Lester m'emmènerait au site?
01:06:37Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:07:07Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:07:37Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:08:08C'est bon, la boutique s'ouvre dans 20 minutes.
01:08:11J'ai juste à prendre mon casque et le mettre dans la tronche.
01:08:14Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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01:19:14Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:19:44Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada