Married at First Sight UK Season 9 Episode 36
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00:00:00I
00:00:04Previously
00:00:06The group reunited for one final dinner party in the last week just basically said I wish I'd have got down on my knees and terrorized
00:00:14your bumhole
00:00:17Discovering which marriages had stood the test of time
00:00:22But for some it was an emotional reunion I put my life on the line for you, I think I'm quite new I
00:00:29Just need five minutes. He didn't want me. He just killed me
00:00:34Whilst gossip amongst the group coming that was made about my daughter from yourself. God help us turns out like a mother
00:00:42reignited old tensions
00:00:49And as happy couples had cause for celebration I want those the kids little Nathan jr.'s
00:00:58It was familiar frustrations between Polly and Adam
00:01:09That erupted into the biggest showdown of the night
00:01:19Tonight welcome everyone to the final commitment ceremony the couples come face-to-face with the experts
00:01:27I've really got me that
00:01:29For some it's a celebration
00:01:31Everybody loves me. I'm loving it. We've got something really special
00:01:37While animosity brews for others feel like there was a real sort of pack mentality
00:01:43Talk about my children. I'm coming to walk failed marriages go under the microscope
00:01:48Emma deserved a husband who could give her what she was looking for and
00:01:53That's on me
00:01:54Held like Brian was trying to keep me on just on
00:01:58You specifically use the term. I want to terrorize your butthole. Oh
00:02:04I don't think I've done anything wrong
00:02:06Come on, Adam. Are you taking the piss out of me?
00:02:11and the breakdown of their marriage
00:02:13How much did it mean to Karen because it meant the absolute world to me?
00:02:18I don't care about where
00:02:21Shit raises questions for Karen and Christina. Why are you not together?
00:02:52Welcome everyone to the final commitment ceremony
00:02:58And the last gathering of what I'm sure you can all agree has been an unforgettable experience
00:03:09Well, there is clearly a lot to discuss from last night's dinner party
00:03:13But tonight is also about celebrating the good times
00:03:17and learning from the bad
00:03:19But before we dig in let's remind ourselves of where this incredible journey began
00:03:32Marriages forever
00:03:35This is one of the biggest things I've ever done in my life
00:03:39It'll be everything to me to start a new life with someone who I adore
00:03:45I'm ready to have the best life I've ever had
00:03:48I'm ready to have that missing piece of the puzzle love a partner and build a life together
00:03:55The right person is definitely out there. I'm risking everything for love
00:04:04I've never in a million years imagined I was gonna be marrying a stranger. I am looking for my knight in shining armor
00:04:11I'm ready to meet the love of my life
00:04:22I'm so close to giving up on love for unwilling to give it one last shot
00:04:41Bravo
00:04:45Nice to meet you
00:04:58Hi, my name's Amy nice to meet you
00:05:05Oh my god
00:05:11Thank you, sir, thank you. Yes, you are a true caribou. Yes, I am
00:05:18I promise to bring spontaneity a sense of adventure and an excellent loaf of bread
00:05:25Today I say I do but to me that means I will I will take your hand and stand by your side
00:05:32For the good and bad. I might be deaf but I will always hear you
00:05:37Oh
00:05:45So this is Hugo I love him so much it's time for you to share your very first kiss
00:06:07I'm so happy. She's perfect
00:06:12Everything happens for a reason I genuinely feel like it couldn't got any better
00:06:20This is everything I've ever dreamed
00:06:34Lots of emotion in the room
00:06:37Holly it's really hit you
00:06:40Surprisingly, it was seeing me and Alex looking happy
00:06:46It just looks like the perfect image I really got me that
00:06:55Charlie what's coming up for you? They're watching that my love
00:06:59I'm still living that moment even today where I remember like that initial feeling that I had for Eve
00:07:07But I guess just seeing that today has kind of made me realize maybe I'm not over as much
00:07:15The grieving process has no cap so remember that and allow yourself that
00:07:22Sadly the relationship didn't work as we had all planned. Thank you for showing up as your full self
00:07:30We can't wait to see what the future holds for you
00:07:37Awesome
00:07:40Obviously Rochelle is not here. How are you feeling about you know your reflection on this relationship and where it's brought you to today?
00:07:48I came in with the intention to find a wife walk away with a wife
00:07:53Obviously the relationship didn't really go the way that you know, I wanted it to go. I
00:07:59Definitely underestimate the experiment because I didn't realize it was gonna be like that
00:08:06Intense I was actually looking forward to seeing her believe it or not. So I wish she was here
00:08:12But I hope she's well
00:08:14well, we're sorry that things didn't work out the way that you wanted to but
00:08:19We also noted that there was a bit of a spark between you and Hannah
00:08:24Yes
00:08:26There was definitely that spark. I can't like
00:08:30We just felt like there wasn't enough
00:08:33For us to be like, right, okay, let's make this work
00:08:37For me the way that Orson treated me and spoke to me and the respect that he showed me was huge
00:08:44Considering what I had to deal with. I don't think we just kissed for the sake of it
00:08:48it was very much like let's see if this is a thing I
00:08:52Do you think we could have a really nice friendship after this? Yeah, I've got a lot of time for him
00:08:55He's a really good guy
00:08:57Well, thank you Orson we have loved having you as part of this experiment, thank you
00:09:07Okay first up to the couch we have Amy and Luke
00:09:19Hey guys, hello. Good to see you. Welcome back
00:09:22Nice to see you
00:09:25Okay, so before we delve into your journey where you are right now
00:09:29Should we take a quick look at your final vows?
00:09:33magical
00:09:39Amy with all our highs there have been many lows. I feel responsible for causing many of these lows
00:09:47We have shared the most special moments together Amy and I do not want to give up
00:09:53Our future starts now
00:09:58Luke
00:10:00You and my Prince Charming stood at the altar
00:10:03You showed me you were a gentleman and it gave me a glimpse of what could be
00:10:07There has never been a dull day with you
00:10:09I came into this experiment knowing exactly what I wanted and I'm leaving this experiment knowing exactly what I do not want
00:10:18This marriage is done
00:10:21I
00:10:26Stand here in front of you today wearing black to mourn its death. All right
00:10:43Wow, that was brutal that was quite an exit. How do you feel watching it back?
00:10:51Awful I
00:10:54Feel like I had so much like
00:10:57built up anger and
00:10:59Upset felt like I needed to get it off my chest. I felt better after I did it
00:11:05well
00:11:06Watching it back. It might have been a little bit savage
00:11:10And Luke, how was that experience for you?
00:11:13Was very sad. I was sad that I was the one to make her feel that way
00:11:19So after the final vows
00:11:22What has happened since then?
00:11:24And you sent me like a birthday gift, didn't you with a letter in it?
00:11:31Would you say that as a part of your holding out hope that maybe Amy might change her mind?
00:11:36Of course, I'd always have a fond memory of the stuff we've done. I know how I felt
00:11:42I know how you made me feel Amy when went on the honeymoon
00:11:47It was such a poignant moment that uplifted me you gave me confidence like no other
00:11:58Amy you look irritated
00:12:00It just baffles me like this because obviously the letter
00:12:04Went quite into depth about how much you miss me and he's always thinking about me referring to me as if he's why and
00:12:11Nice rude comment at the end of it
00:12:14the rude comment
00:12:16It said no regrets actually just one. I
00:12:21Wish I'd have got down on my knees when you were cooking in the kitchen
00:12:26And terrorized your bumhole
00:12:34Okay, I
00:12:39Do remember us having this conversation about flirting and about what to turn on and what to turn off
00:12:47I suppose I'm curious
00:12:49What your thoughts were around?
00:12:52terrorizing the bumhole I
00:13:00Mean I know we're all laughing about this, but I'm not saying this of any kind of judgment in relationships. We have our own codes of
00:13:07Conversation we have our own banter and a bit of flirting and it sounds like this is something that maybe took place
00:13:14Privately between the two no it didn't
00:13:21You specifically use the term I want to terrorize your butthole
00:13:26Yeah, have you ever used that term before I?
00:13:29think
00:13:31You've never said that to me before but we've done it I've showed her he's not done that to me
00:13:38He's never done anything like that to me. What's your bumhole?
00:13:44I
00:13:48What the hell is coming out of Luke's mouth right now my bumhole has never seen any action in his whole existence
00:13:55Never mind with Luke
00:13:59And I'd rather it not be spoken about again
00:14:01You
00:14:13He's never done anything like that to me, what's your bumhole?
00:14:21No, I'm just saying have you ever used the term before
00:14:26Mmm. Probably not okay. Do you believe that could be a shocking term?
00:14:30Yeah, I want it to be it's okay feeling I have okay there you go
00:14:33So here's someone who you've never used this term with you know, it's shocking and you drop it in a letter
00:14:39Why is that it's a word poor. It's a word. I have to choose a word that reflects how I feel
00:14:46arise
00:14:51Whatever I would do from from day one from the marriage or most
00:14:57Who was always misunderstood
00:14:59I'm a bit quirky
00:15:02I'm a non-conformer and that's what I've learned and I'm gonna stop trying to conform and there's something powerful in that
00:15:09But can I just give you some advice around relationships? Yes, please. We're saying it's about reading the room
00:15:16And what she has said consistently is that those types of language just don't do it for her. I
00:15:23I just wanted to let her know that I
00:15:26Fancy the pants off you and that's how you make me feel sexually. Oh, I'm really sorry for really wanting you Amy
00:15:33I sincerely apologize. I
00:15:37Just didn't understand the motive behind it after what happened at final vows that that book was closed
00:15:43Right. Okay. I think it is important also for you to be able to acknowledge, you know, how hurt and disappointed you were
00:15:51Because you had really hoped for a future with Amy
00:15:55we're always
00:15:57trying to
00:15:59Please each other, but we weren't getting there
00:16:02and it was a big shame because in the end I look at Amy and she has many qualities that I asked for and
00:16:10The person walks away from me
00:16:13And that's painful because then I think to myself then then what do I do?
00:16:16Do I change the way I speak or do I start thinking twice about?
00:16:20What words I use?
00:16:23I'm not saying you're a bad person. I don't know if he's saying things and
00:16:28Meaning another thing what there's been so many lies
00:16:32The trust was just gone and we were just like fighting a losing battle
00:16:40And Amy, what would you say you've learned about yourself throughout this process?
00:16:44And I feel like I've learned how to be very patient
00:16:49I've learned to have more confidence in myself and
00:16:54Speak how I feel. Thank you for letting me be able to do that. You've helped with that
00:16:59I feel like I've grown as a person and thank you for that as well
00:17:06It was amazing to meet you both and I really wish you all the very best in your future relationships
00:17:12Thank you so much
00:17:23Of course, I wish that things turned out differently, I just wish that Amy
00:17:27Accepted me and and embraced my sexualized nature
00:17:31I do wish to find someone that accepts me for who I am with my
00:17:36Quirkiness and and everything that I embody I guess and my letter writing as well. It's very important
00:17:43I
00:17:45Okay, so next up to the couch we have Nathan and Lacey
00:18:06So
00:18:08How things been do you know what it's been better than I thought
00:18:11Nonstop compliments. He's helped me loves me. I'm loving it. He's good
00:18:16So it sounds like your relationship is going from strength to strength. Let's look at your final vows. That's special day. There we go
00:18:27Nathan
00:18:29You've opened up to me
00:18:33And I believe you're bought to me for a reason they you make me feel safe heard and loved
00:18:42I
00:18:42Love you
00:18:44There is so much. I love about you
00:18:46I love how patient you are with me and how you have grown to understand me and how I think
00:18:55One second
00:19:01I never get tired of spending time with you. I love you to the stars and back
00:19:11I
00:19:20Still feel the same as on the wedding day, you know that buzzing
00:19:23Do you know I mean have you seen any kind of challenges at all?
00:19:27Like what since you've been away from the experiment?
00:19:30I feel like I don't always feel all my words or what I tried to say properly
00:19:35Sometimes I might say something meant something completely different might come out right, but you can come out a little bit rude
00:19:40Yeah, I think I hung up on him. Yeah, so you can take that to heart and I said I don't talk to you right now
00:19:45I archived his chat. Let me see his name
00:19:49Sometimes yeah, that could be a bit hard, but I only gave him 10 minutes. I didn't yeah, like I just needed a chill
00:19:55Think about what I was gonna say because I didn't want because I was bit pissed off at the time
00:19:59And I suppose it's quite normal. Isn't it the expectation can't be that it's always
00:20:05It's definitely
00:20:07Different it's not every day you sit in front of someone talk about stuff
00:20:10You're not good at and you struggle with it's something that I'd probably run a hundred miles away from outside
00:20:15So yeah, it was definitely hard
00:20:17But when I was a bit down and sad and that lace was always there to pull me out of it
00:20:20So yeah, I'm grateful to going through it with a hundred percent. Well, I've reflected on as well
00:20:26Yeah is in my past when I've dated guys. They've loved on me and
00:20:32You know, he wasn't doing that
00:20:34Which is not that this is normal healthy
00:20:37So, I'm sorry that I wanted it all
00:20:39But you know what? I wouldn't change it all because look where we are now
00:20:42You know, it just makes me feel confident and sexy and I could be my goofy self
00:20:49Thank you guys. Honestly, you done good
00:20:54And so I know at the dinner party there were talks of little Nathan juniors
00:21:05I'm in no rush man. I mean it does say
00:21:13Yeah, we are on the same page
00:21:16Lovely. Well, we are so excited to see you where this goes. I'm so excited to hear about any Nathan juniors
00:21:23I
00:21:32We've come to the end for you here in terms of this experiment, so we wish you all the very best guys
00:21:47All right, we'd like to welcome back to the couch Polly and Adam
00:21:53Oh
00:21:56Good to see you. Mm-hmm. There's a lot that we have to unpack but before we really get down to business
00:22:06Let's think back to what happened yesterday
00:22:11Things got heated between the two of you and Polly you have admitted that your physical outburst definitely was unacceptable
00:22:18Yeah, well, yeah, it was bad. Okay what you did cross the line? Yeah
00:22:23That was unacceptable
00:22:25behavior
00:22:26Yeah, okay
00:22:28Now let's go back. I think we should take a look at
00:22:34The Polly and Adam journey, can we?
00:22:42In an ideal world he'd look at me and be like, oh my god
00:22:47I'm hoping to turn around the end of the aisle and just
00:22:50fancy the pants off her
00:22:53I
00:23:01Do fancy him. Yeah, the initial attractions not a hundred percent there
00:23:07She's not my usual time. I normally go with girls. I think oh my god, you're unreal on the wedding day
00:23:14Feels quite natural sharing a bed tonight. Yeah, there has been intimacy. It happened really naturally
00:23:21Thinking about it. I realized that maybe I shouldn't have done it just because I don't know where my head's at
00:23:28The tricky one obviously
00:23:30She really fancies me and I want to say it back to you
00:23:33No, I mean, but I don't want to give it the wrong idea because I don't want to hurt but you're married and you've had
00:23:37sex
00:23:40Yes
00:23:42If you could stick with your current partner or twist with another
00:23:47Would you stick or twist twist
00:23:52You two twisted bullshit
00:23:57You're not very romantic here's something that I do need to work on
00:24:04Is it the most romantic thing someone's ever done for you, yeah, I do feel like there is love in the air
00:24:11free to
00:24:14See him she's very family orientated has been a nice insight into how life could potentially be
00:24:24What's what size panties are you I
00:24:27Think you look sexy in these none. I
00:24:32Don't feel like you want me in any way
00:24:36I've put you first through this whole time
00:24:39You've put yourself first never once has it been about me
00:24:44Oh
00:24:46With any of you guys want to have sex with someone that's moaning at you all day. Well, you did first three weeks
00:24:51I've had sex like three times
00:24:54You are such a fucking narcissist
00:24:57Narcissist, you've led me on you fuck me about and you've pissed me right off
00:25:04If you were emotionally mature you would have known what you would have wanted and not given me mixed signals when it came to
00:25:10intimacy
00:25:11You used me to paint a narrative that you could be a good man a good husband
00:25:16But all you've really done is show that you're a good liar
00:25:19Childish boy. Oh fucking you're walking away again. You are a fucking joke
00:25:31Okay, that was a lot
00:25:34Watching that back. How does that make you feel?
00:25:37For me I do feel very led on I feel like nothing was ever really there on his part
00:25:45He's just showing me that he's just not a nice person. I just feel very very lied to
00:25:51Adam do you believe that you were fully transparent to Polly?
00:25:56Were you truthful to her from the beginning? Yeah, I was truthful from the start. I always told her everything
00:26:01I gave her the heads up on everything. Do you feel that you were kind to Polly throughout this? Yeah, I think I treated
00:26:06Well, yeah
00:26:08Okay, it's important for us to spend a moment in this space because I think a common challenge that the two of you had
00:26:17Is the sex?
00:26:21Adam do you believe?
00:26:24That the sex was leading Polly on do you regret having sex with Polly?
00:26:29Probably on the first night. It was probably like wrong with me to do it before kind of knew where my head was on stuff
00:26:35But I didn't regret it
00:26:39So Polly
00:26:41Do you feel Adam was leading you on through the sex? Yeah
00:26:45But Adam was the sex just physical for you or did it mean more?
00:26:49No, he's trying to like boost what was missing. You know, I mean, but when he was saying all the stuff of like
00:26:55Yeah, there is a potential. I do fancy you like I do see a potential when we leave. It's that not fucking needing someone on I
00:27:02Think on this issue question is is the intention of it, right Polly?
00:27:07You're saying that you feel as if the sex was happening because we are in a relationship
00:27:12All right. So now
00:27:14Adam it seems like what happened is is that you walked in you were physically not attracted to your wife
00:27:20But you said you know what? I'm in this experiment. I'm going to give it my all and part of that was I'm gonna
00:27:26Give it my all so, where did it turn for you?
00:27:30Adam the first day we got back from homestays
00:27:34She was just being like Mardy and like bickering
00:27:37You kind of like because you still won't give in what I was asking for the whole way through
00:27:41Which was to be felt wanted by your partner, but that is the reason I was just trained
00:27:47Every other day. She used to say to me like are you treat me like a princess?
00:27:51You do so much for I acts of service for me and then 10 seconds later
00:27:54She'll go you don't do enough for me. I feel like I deserve better
00:27:57That's the point I was like, I can't do this no more Polly I hear a lot of what you're saying
00:28:02But the one part I don't see is how you have zero
00:28:07Accountability for the failure of your marriage
00:28:12Because he's 90% perfect and he's such a catch
00:28:16And he can never do any wrong until he's pulled up in his behavior which he doesn't like and he ducks out
00:28:21I
00:28:25Don't think I've done anything wrong. Oh, come on Adam. You're not taking accountability for your behavior again
00:28:32What what I've done wrong? Oh
00:28:34Adam
00:28:36anyone
00:28:38Are you taking the piss out of me?
00:28:52What what I've done wrong Oh Adam anyone
00:28:58Are you taking the piss out of me
00:29:06You still feel like you've done nothing wrong for us to be in the position that we're in
00:29:10Haven't done anything. I haven't bad-mouthed you. I haven't spoke about you
00:29:14You're the one that's been ripping me in the girls chat ripping you in the girls
00:29:18Sending a video that I found funny. I've tried to reach out to you multiple times and all three times you were so rude
00:29:26You just spoke to me like shit
00:29:28All you done last night was digging digging dig and push buttons and push buttons, which unfortunately
00:29:34Led you to be in the position that you were in
00:29:36And I've never ever been in that position with someone to feel the need to do that
00:29:41If something said, you know, I mean that hurts me like it is hard to just to get about
00:29:46Adam there's something that Polly said that I could see really impacted you and that was when she called you a narcissist
00:29:54Why was that such a problem for you? I've always classed it as someone that's like just a nasty piece of work
00:29:59You know, I mean
00:30:01So, you know, that's a big statement
00:30:04So just so happens before the commitment ceremony what I did is I went back and I looked at Adams profile
00:30:12He's not a narcissist
00:30:15Could you say there are things that you could have done better a hundred percent
00:30:20I could have done so much better like like how I spoke to him sometimes how I
00:30:25Address certain situations how I spoke about him in a group setting when I was a bit irate
00:30:31I'm not sitting here saying I didn't do anything wrong. I know I know I did
00:30:36I'm just curious for the group is were there moments where you all saw something?
00:30:41Absolutely
00:30:43They got on like a house on fire. Yeah, there's that personality spark between them. Definitely early on
00:30:47They were really tight and really strong. Yeah, that's relationship starts friendships and that's what they started us. Yes
00:30:53This is a great feedback because I think we all saw this
00:30:57so that is my hope for the two of you in this moment as
00:31:03You walk away from this couch forget the marriage forget the sex, right? Let's just you were a teen
00:31:11You had each other's back. So the question is is the friendship more important?
00:31:17Where is the ego more important?
00:31:21Polly friendship Adam friendship. Yeah. All right, so I think you two have something to say to each other
00:31:31Sorry
00:31:37How sorry I don't
00:31:40Want to be in this position with you
00:31:44Yeah, I'm sorry for things that I've said and done that's hurt yeah, it was never my intention I
00:31:55Hope that we can obviously
00:31:57just move forward from this and
00:31:59Just be friends and be civil and amicable and hopefully still continued what I've learned in future relationships
00:32:06and I'm just thankful for all of you for
00:32:09Being there throughout it
00:32:14Love you both so much
00:32:23Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your willing to see
00:32:27Hurdles and still fight through them, you know, I think a lot of people are going to learn so much from the two of you
00:32:34I know that we have so thank you. Thank you so much
00:32:39I
00:32:42Do really hope that Adam and I can move forward with how we left things on the couch and to just keep everything in the
00:32:48future friendly and respectful
00:32:52Let's welcome to the couch Emorett and Casper
00:33:00Well, hello you two
00:33:04Welcome back. Thank you
00:33:08You always have a side I was just followed your lead
00:33:20So for the two of you looking back on your relationship, what would you say have been the highlights
00:33:26There were some really good times
00:33:28I've been lucky to have Emma through this process as much as it's been a struggle because we are very different people
00:33:34It made me realize Emma deserved a husband who could give her what she was looking for and that wasn't fair on her and
00:33:42That's on me
00:33:43But I'm trying to get better
00:33:47I'm far more aware now of what I
00:33:51Would be looking for in a future partner, right?
00:33:54So going through this process you've gained some incredible insight from this that you can now take into your next relationship
00:34:00Emma how does that land for you?
00:34:02I think the whole experience has really taught me I think confidence is really really attractive. I
00:34:11Need someone who makes me laugh
00:34:14And I always vowed that I need someone to put me in my place
00:34:17But I do need someone to put me in my place every now and again
00:34:21You know fit as well
00:34:23Thanks
00:34:29Have either of you been out there in the dating world I
00:34:33Mean, I think both of us have gone on some dates, right? No, I haven't had a man of the month
00:34:38To give one little bit of advice. Yeah, don't label them the month of the year
00:34:42You're gonna be dating them like if I'm at least a six-month period
00:34:46Can easily become mr. Marsh
00:34:48Okay, so there's scope
00:34:51Good dream. So is it fair to say that we have a nice friendship here now?
00:34:56I think so. We've got a lot of history together now and then yes
00:34:59I've got to say I know it's been hard and I know there's been pain along the way
00:35:03But I can see that you've you're both extracting the lessons already
00:35:06Yeah, and I know that you're both just gonna fly in your next relationships. I can't wait to see that for the two of you
00:35:14Yeah, thank you for being there, you know because it could have been a lot worse but I managed to learn a lot about me
00:35:22Just thank you for being my wife
00:35:24Beautiful, I think for me. I would never like wish for someone else to be there at the end of the aisle
00:35:30I think we had our own beautiful experience that we'll share for the rest of our lives
00:35:34And yeah, hopefully we'll both get married again, and that'll be lovely. I expected him by you know, I'm gonna get married
00:35:43Maybe
00:35:50Thank you
00:35:56Oh
00:35:59All right, so Hannah
00:36:01How are you doing? Okay. How are you? You know what? I'm disappointed that Stevens not here. I
00:36:08Mean, are we surprised?
00:36:10Are you no?
00:36:13Why?
00:36:14You saw the reaction at the wedding like his reaction was incredible
00:36:18And I just feel like on the honeymoon the first hurdle. He just couldn't be asked
00:36:22I just feel a little bit like there was no effort and
00:36:26Then I think it just got to a point where we're just flogging a dead horse
00:36:31And as much as it went to absolute shit for me, I don't regret it
00:36:35I'm glad I met some of the people that I met and this is fair because this is your
00:36:39Perspective and one thing we have to acknowledge is Steven's not here
00:36:42So he can't defend himself in this and so let's try moving forward now. We've seen it. You've had your fair share of conflict
00:36:50Amongst the group. It's interesting because you have a lot of energy here
00:36:54And I think that sometimes you intend to make it better, but sometimes you enter a room
00:37:01Things go left. Yeah, why do you believe that is?
00:37:04I just feel a little bit like I was very much misunderstood from the beginning
00:37:09I think there were some things that I did do wrong, and I think my banter got took the wrong way with this group
00:37:17There was some of other people's insecurities and other people's
00:37:22Situations that were then being planned to me. I feel like there was a real sort of pack mentality
00:37:29Like I walked into a room on girls night and
00:37:33It got called a slag and look what the cat dragged in and I
00:37:39Just wouldn't treat another woman like that
00:37:43That was hands-on one of the hardest nights of my entire life
00:37:48Can't call someone playing victim and in our own interactions
00:37:53It's giving week
00:37:56In
00:37:58My opinion the whole group wasn't against that it was you and Holly hashing it out
00:38:03We was leaving you to to me
00:38:06Everybody was tripping when this side comment was made you two was on a different table you weren't
00:38:11I walked into a room
00:38:12I got looked up and down like a piece of shit and
00:38:16Holly looked me dead in the eye and said look what the cat dragged it I
00:38:21Know I did
00:38:26I
00:38:27Thought he was coming for me, then Shannon was piping up
00:38:31Then Lacey was coming
00:38:33Everyone just came for me from every angle. I've only ever reacted to your behavior. I
00:38:38Don't do things out like being a mean girl. I'm not a mean girl
00:38:42I'm just very honest, but you don't think how you behaved on both girls night was me
00:38:45You don't think that was mean at all. No that was me responding to your actions
00:38:50Because she's disrespected me so much and pecked and pecked and pecked and pecked she deserves everything she gets
00:39:00Holly you literally put you don't victimize me. This is the moral of the story
00:39:09So I went into yesterday's dinner party with something in my head that Hannah had said
00:39:16Now say what you want to me
00:39:20I
00:39:22Shoot bullets at me. I'm always dodging. Well talk about my children
00:39:29I'm coming to war I
00:39:31Was being calm and then Hannah said something like fuck off and I thought you know what you're fucking having it
00:39:50I
00:39:58Was being calm
00:40:00And then Hannah said something like fuck off and I thought you know what fucking up in it
00:40:07The fire let I lost my shit
00:40:13I was furious
00:40:16And
00:40:18Then it went from 0 to 100 and I have to say that I was quite disappointed because it started to become
00:40:26Aggressive. Yeah, and that's not acceptable. No, I take accountability of like my actions
00:40:32Hannah is there anything that you would like to say?
00:40:35No
00:40:37I'm done at this point. We're trying to communicate with Holly. It's like banging you out against a brick wall
00:40:42Hopefully you both can reflect on your contribution to this argument
00:40:47Yeah, and maybe think about maybe how you could have done things differently
00:40:51We're very different people. I would not disrespect a woman the way that Holly disrespected me and I stand by that
00:40:56We'll hopefully get to a point me and Hannah where we can
00:41:00Say hello to each other and not want to rip each other's head off
00:41:06Okay, let's move on
00:41:09Next up to the couch we have Ryan and Shannon
00:41:22Ryan let's start with you how things been after the experiment obviously the way it ended was
00:41:29Not the way I expected and so it took a long time to get over that. I'm still not over that now. Yeah
00:41:38Relatable probably not
00:41:41Yeah, I suppose there's still some sadness there and something we need to process that
00:41:48Shannon how have you been feeling I
00:41:54Probably wasn't as honest as I should have been with you guys or myself
00:41:57From the beginning. I got kind of caught up in
00:42:01The good things that I seen and let red flags slide that I wouldn't normally
00:42:06Because I really wanted it to work
00:42:08he would
00:42:10Give me these compliments and make me feel amazing
00:42:13But then 30 seconds down the line it be it's just a holiday romance for me
00:42:18And I expressed to him, but I didn't like it. It wasn't funny to me. It wasn't banter
00:42:22That was just a joke. There was nothing behind that as soon as we were behind closed doors
00:42:26It was when the little digs would come out things about my way. I
00:42:30Was insecure I was timid little comments and it felt like Ryan was trying to keep me under his thumb
00:42:36So that I would come running back to him when he was giving me the compliments. I
00:42:41Think this is all quite new to us
00:42:44Ryan, what are your thoughts about what Shannon is saying? I did mention about the weight and that
00:42:50She was put on antibiotics and I was saying like you're not eating proper
00:42:55I was trying to look out for her
00:42:57I was trying to look out for her
00:43:00Since being diagnosed with cancer. I think your health is very important
00:43:03So if they was my intentions that he came across I apologize for it, but that was never my intention
00:43:10I just find it hard that it's my red flags, but i'm being told who I can and can't speak to
00:43:15I never said that you couldn't speak to any of the girls in here
00:43:18Certain people didn't know that I couldn't speak to Hannah
00:43:22Do you think i'm going to stay with somebody that's going to flirt with somebody else?
00:43:25I wasn't flirting. There's been no flirting from me
00:43:29I seen it happening. He said did you see Hannah stopping my foot?
00:43:33But you was annoyed about what Hannah had done on the retreat
00:43:37Ryan's never flirted with me. I'm just gonna put it out there. He hasn't
00:43:42You've made it out to the rest of the group i'm this bad person
00:43:48And i've sat back and i've i've not bit and i'll continue not to bite
00:43:56I think what's really confusing here is that the two of you didn't bring some of these concerns to the couch and the two of you
00:44:03Have literally just walked away. Do you feel that there's a tendency in both of you to run away?
00:44:09At maybe the first sign of trouble
00:44:12I think I do the opposite
00:44:15I hang on for too long and it was this time I realized i'm not hanging on
00:44:19And it got to the point. It was the most ridiculous argument. We started arguing over shoelaces
00:44:26He told me all his feelings were fake
00:44:29He never meant any of it and I thought i've done it too many times and i'm not doing it again
00:44:33so over a pathetic argument over a pair of shoes
00:44:38Made you leave the next but it was a multitude of things that added up
00:44:43I mean, it sounds like quite an abrupt end because there was clearly a real attraction between the two of you
00:44:50But some of these little niggling
00:44:52Misunderstandings
00:44:54Weren't brought here so that we could work through them
00:44:57Whilst you've both got this opportunity today. Is there anything you'd like to say to one another ryan?
00:45:02Absolutely nothing
00:45:04There's nothing you'd like to add
00:45:09I think that says a lot
00:45:11And shannon, there's nothing that you'd like to add. I am sorry for not being completely honest
00:45:18I probably on reflection should have been more open with ryan the day that I decided to leave
00:45:26Well
00:45:27It's been a real pleasure meeting the two of you and I really wish you all the best with relationships moving forward
00:45:33Thank you. Lovely to meet you guys
00:45:36Thank you
00:45:44Let's welcome to the couch ross and sasha
00:45:53You always so far behind me
00:45:57Welcome back you two
00:45:59Hello
00:46:01How have things been since we last saw you things have been really good
00:46:05Like after we left the experiment ross moved straight to walsall. Wow
00:46:10It was a bit rocky at first
00:46:12And I would get into arguments and he'd like boom straight to manchester gone
00:46:15But we've kind of found like balance now and we're in a really good place
00:46:21Ross, how have you been navigating seeing your daughter? You've been seeing her on weekends. Haven't you still? Yeah
00:46:27Weekends are so i'm going to bring up to a while starting some point as well. And how's it been living with sasha?
00:46:39Well, why don't we take a look at the journey that the two of you have had so far
00:46:49I can't believe i'm getting married today
00:46:53I do want to find that amazing relationship with someone
00:46:57I
00:47:01Hello, hello
00:47:05He's tall covered in tattoos and I can communicate a little bit in sign so maybe it was meant to be
00:47:12Ross goes above and beyond for me. He literally can't do more. Oh, you're so cute
00:47:20I've got all this love. It's just quite overwhelming
00:47:23I will protect her. Yeah, I will cap her and I will respect her. No, you got my blessing, right?
00:47:31I have no doubt that he feels love
00:47:44Me and ross got into an argument he spent the night in a separate apartment. I don't know how we're gonna go forward
00:47:51If they want to come to an argument, we don't want to stop I did won't leave
00:47:58Ross how do you feel about sasha?
00:48:01I just want to
00:48:02Make this where I'm all we can and i'm gonna fight for it and i'm gonna bring them back up here again
00:48:07Get the smile back in the face again
00:48:10I was blown away, but I was connecting straight away and I knew you was the one for me
00:48:17I'm going to move towards those to be with you
00:48:21I
00:48:23Can't wait to start our lives together
00:48:29I love you ross always
00:48:32Yes
00:48:47How does it feel
00:48:48Do you know it just brings a lot of emotions
00:48:52Watching it puts it into perspective of how much love we've got for each other
00:48:57It was nice seeing him with my dad as well, yeah that got me quite emotional because I hadn't seen that
00:49:05One of the things we saw a glimpse of there is you guys struggling with
00:49:10emotional regulation
00:49:12Things go from zero to ten pretty quickly
00:49:16So, can you tell us a bit about how the conflict has been happening since you left the experiment?
00:49:21I think it always
00:49:23Starts off as something like really small and then it just ends up escalating
00:49:28Sometimes I feel like i'm communicating it to ross
00:49:31And it can be quite passive aggressive and then that irritates me and then it just gets to this till it's like
00:49:37Do you know what? I mean?
00:49:38And then we're like, oh shit. Is this is this healthy? Is this all right?
00:49:43Have you guys ever tried any time out when things are getting a bit heated?
00:49:49Oh, well
00:49:50When we left ross his favorite thing to do was five minutes. I want five minutes five minutes
00:49:55At first it kind of felt like he was doing it to
00:49:58Take control of the situation
00:50:00It was almost like a threat
00:50:02It felt like i'm gonna close my eyes and not listen to you and unless you give me five minutes
00:50:05But not in like a calm way. It was like I said five minutes five minutes
00:50:10It just winds me up
00:50:12I
00:50:19You all find it funny, but it's the most aggravating thing
00:50:24It just completely takes all he takes your control away. Yeah
00:50:29I guess for you ross with sasha describing some of your communication there as passive aggressive
00:50:35That's sometimes what happens when you're not expressing how you really feel
00:50:38I
00:50:41Hold it in. Yeah, well, it shouldn't really because it's a part of how I can communicate my yeah
00:50:47It's really important that it is in a loving way. You know, it's not used as a punishment
00:50:50It's not shutting each other out. It's both coming together and saying okay, I can feel this getting a bit heated
00:50:56Let's both agree on maybe it's 30 minutes. Maybe it's a bit more than just the five. We work on it
00:51:02We all work on it
00:51:03You've got to work on it absolutely and and this is one of the joys of being in a relationship is yeah
00:51:08Conflict is inevitable. In fact, it's important, you know that you're able to work through it and heal from it
00:51:15No problem. Yeah, I would do that
00:51:18Wonderful stuff you guys
00:51:23So what does the future hold for the two of you
00:51:26I always said if we're in a really good place be more than happy to move to manchester
00:51:31So ross can be by his daughter I just
00:51:34Need to know we're gonna be good
00:51:38We've got something really special
00:51:41Yeah
00:51:44I love that certainly watching you looked like a united team
00:51:48Absolutely connected
00:51:50The two of you have been working at this. You haven't been cruising. You've been listening
00:51:54You've been taking on the feedback and you've been giving it a go
00:51:59That's just beautiful to watch it's a testament to both of you
00:52:03Yeah, I just think we've been really looking to find each other through this
00:52:08Well, look, thank you so much for trusting us for listening to us
00:52:14We are so pleased to see where you've arrived the love that is brimming over the surface here
00:52:25Thank you so much
00:52:28Thank you
00:52:37Okay, if I could have christina and karen come over
00:52:46Hello you two hi guys
00:52:48Hello
00:52:50It is great for us to see you both
00:52:52now last night
00:52:54Brought up some confronting issues
00:52:57But let's begin with your married at first sight journey
00:53:08This needs to work, I don't want to be single for the rest of my life
00:53:13I deserve unconditional love. I'm not settling for any less. Oh my god
00:53:21You okay?
00:53:23What's your name?
00:53:25Oh
00:53:33I think kieran is hilarious. You are my woman. I'm feeling like i've just hit gold
00:53:42Christina is the brightest colored pencil in the pencil case. She just lights up every room that she walks into
00:53:48Oh
00:53:50We are building such good foundations
00:53:54I am falling for kieran. Do you want me to say? Yeah, you see. Oh, okay. Yes. We have been into it
00:54:00Oh god. Sorry mom. I am so open with my emotions and I can't hide it
00:54:07Am I too much for you?
00:54:09Pmdd here it just feels really just dark and horrible and I just don't want it to push
00:54:18You away
00:54:20We haven't got that
00:54:22Intimate connection at the moment and I i'm just feeling rejected
00:54:25I'm, really questioning at the minute if i'm able to sustain a relationship
00:54:30With someone that suffers with pmdd
00:54:33This is why I prepare myself for the worst. Well, it's fucking shit
00:54:38So
00:54:43More i'm realizing we're a little bit different and
00:54:45Pretty important areas of my life. You put a husband at the top of the list of your priorities
00:54:50whereas i'll never give me whole self to someone ever again, like i'll always
00:54:55Put my my major needs first
00:54:58You and me ex-partner. It's actually scary how similar yous are
00:55:02I'm, not his ex
00:55:04There's way more goods than it is bad, but the bads are very
00:55:08heavily weighted
00:55:09You could see yourself spending the rest of your life with him. Yeah, I do really like him
00:55:14We love each other as people but the dots just aren't connecting at the moment
00:55:21I'm potentially risking losing one of the best women that I could ever wish for
00:55:26And that's one of the hardest things to admit to myself
00:55:29You're bringing people smiles everywhere you go and I was sitting grinning because I was like
00:55:34This is my wife
00:55:36But if I can't see things moving forward, i'm not going to lead you on
00:55:40Because I do care about you, but at the minute it feels like more of a friendship than anything else
00:55:45And I never came in here to hurt anyone
00:55:59I
00:56:02Just don't want to see you lose someone who is phenomenal for you
00:56:08I just don't know how much i've got left in us for the amount of emotional support. Christina needs I won't leave
00:56:23So that was that hit everyone right
00:56:29You okay
00:56:38Looking at that
00:56:40Walk us through
00:56:42Steena I could see a future with kieran. I thought yeah, they're like this is it
00:56:46I've got a real husband, but um, you know when obviously the cracks started to show
00:56:53You can just see in our faces like when we were crying
00:56:57Like you can see how much like it meant to us
00:57:01Karen how are you feeling seeing that? Um shit
00:57:08Mainstay and I both came into this for the right reasons and it hasn't worked which is really sad
00:57:13And i'm forever. Sorry that it hasn't worked
00:57:17Okay, I never meant to hurt you
00:57:21No
00:57:25Let's look at the dinner party, okay
00:57:28You know karen you definitely seemed shocked
00:57:32at
00:57:33Christina's approach should I say to you and some of the things that she had mentioned. Is that the case? Yeah, I think
00:57:39because I have really struggled being home to not just be able to feel like I can just pick up the phone and
00:57:47Talk to karen just for a bit of reassurance and support that was really hard and it was that hard to wrap my brain around
00:57:53It so yeah at the dinner party as soon as I saw karen
00:57:57crumbled
00:57:59Literally, yeah, I crumbled
00:58:04My emotions just got the better of me
00:58:07You know would definitely seem to have an impact as well as karen had mentioned that he's been dating someone. Yeah
00:58:13So, how did you take that? Yeah, not well
00:58:18I
00:58:19hearing that just be
00:58:21So casually, yeah a bit like i've been dating someone
00:58:27It made me wonder like how much did it mean to karen because it meant the absolute fucking world to me
00:58:41So far that was the best I would say four weeks of my life were with you
00:58:47And that's never going to change. No one's going to take that away from me
00:58:50And i'm really really pleased that it was you at the end of the aisle
00:58:58I can't get words out my head sometimes
00:59:04But
00:59:05Traverse it and thinking that I don't care about her
00:59:08Shit, you know there were times in this experiment where without question you two were the strongest couple. Yeah
00:59:15Why are you not together? I mean that's what i'm trying to understand what what the real reason is
00:59:24Karen didn't want me
00:59:45Why are you not together I mean that's what i'm trying to understand what what the real reason is
00:59:53Karen didn't want me
01:00:00I would say one of the reasons is how much I think christina relies on a partner
01:00:09And i'm not saying I don't want to be a shoulder to lean on but
01:00:11I
01:00:14Have i've been there before and it's that's a trigger
01:00:19I haven't got the mental capacity
01:00:21To help you when you need that strength because I haven't sometimes I haven't even got it for myself
01:00:28It's difficult to console you as your ex-husband when you're feeling the way you're feeling
01:00:39That's why I sit and get emotional
01:00:42What do we do right now
01:00:45The first thing that I think we could do is between the two of you you could set the boundaries
01:00:50Of what does it mean to be a friend?
01:00:53His detaching isn't because he didn't care about you or he didn't care about the relationship. Is that this is how he is built?
01:01:01This is what the relationships that he's been in has taught him that he must rely on himself
01:01:12What are you thinking about right now i'm just um, i've never been able to explain that before
01:01:18So if we'd explain that christina means a lot
01:01:21When you have those boundaries in place, what's beautiful is that the boundaries loosen up?
01:01:28Without question you two want to be each other's friends. Yeah
01:01:32I do
01:01:34Just because I can't reply to you every bloody minute of the day doesn't mean i'm not your mate
01:01:39You know if you're not able to be in touch every single day
01:01:42Would it help if the two of you arranged to meet up so you've got something to look forward to?
01:01:49So actually before I came in here
01:01:52I booked a festival and I actually bought two tickets because I thought I was going to have a husband
01:01:59to obviously take
01:02:02so
01:02:03Do you want to come?
01:02:08I've never been to a festival
01:02:15I'd love to come
01:02:26All right, I love it christina
01:02:30Karen that concludes your journey. Thank you
01:02:38Thank you
01:02:40Love you guys
01:02:45Mine and kira's chapter it has ended now
01:02:50But it doesn't mean our story has finished
01:02:56Well
01:02:57That concludes not just our time together today, but the experiment as a whole
01:03:03We hope that you've all learned valuable lessons
01:03:06Regardless of whether you're leaving us today with a husband or a wife
01:03:11Or friends for life and we wish each and every one of you all the very best for the future
01:03:18Thank you so much
01:03:24Of course, I wish that things did turn out differently, but I have made a genuinely beautiful beautiful soul
01:03:31Who's now one of my friends for life?
01:03:36Everyone wants that fairytale wedding and that dream and I feel like it's come true
01:03:44I do have many regrets. The fact that I made amy upset is what makes me sad
01:03:52It's just a shame didn't work
01:03:56Hi, darling
01:03:58I try my absolute best in every situation and I stay true to myself and i'm proud of myself
01:04:06Right now
01:04:10I love you. It's crazy that it all turned out as I hoped. I love you so much
01:04:19I love you more
01:04:21To apply for future series of married at first sight go to channel 4.com forward slash take part
01:04:36So
01:04:57You