Good Morning Pakistan | Maa Se Seekha, Maa Ban Ke Aazmaya | 7 November 2024

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Host: Nida Yasir

Guest: Vaneezah Ahmed, Shermeen Ali, Maham Amir

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Transcript

00:00:00This morning has come, kissing your cheeks

00:00:12Swinging like the wind, going round and round

00:00:21This morning has come, smiling like this

00:00:31Root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu

00:00:36She is humming like this, she is waking everyone up

00:00:40Yes, in the flowery garden, the birds are chirping

00:00:50She is in the open, open, open, open

00:00:55She is a little mischievous, she is in mischief

00:01:00This morning has come

00:01:07Root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu

00:01:13She is in the open, open, open, open

00:01:17Assalam-o-Alaikum, good morning, good morning Pakistan

00:01:22How are you all? And how is your life?

00:01:26Our life is going well, we have settled down a little

00:01:31And when you go to a new house or a new area

00:01:36Or your setup changes, there is a change in the house

00:01:40Or any work is happening in the house

00:01:44After that, it takes time to settle

00:01:47And today I feel that we have settled a little

00:01:51Or if you still feel that there is a need to do something

00:01:55If there is a need to change something on our set

00:01:57Then please do share it as a family

00:02:00Today we are discussing a very important topic

00:02:05I discuss important topics every day

00:02:07I don't talk about such things anymore

00:02:10And today's topic is

00:02:12What did we learn from our mother?

00:02:14And what did we try as a mother?

00:02:17Actually, the first class of a child

00:02:21Is the mother's lap

00:02:23This is not a new thing, it is an old thing

00:02:26And it is like that

00:02:28There are a lot of sentences like

00:02:30If you want to look at your daughter, look at your mother

00:02:33If you think as a daughter that my mother is very strict

00:02:38My mother is very disciplined

00:02:40I can't be like my mother

00:02:42My mother is very straightforward

00:02:44My mother is very hardworking

00:02:46You don't even realize

00:02:48That with time, you start becoming like your mother

00:02:53As time goes by

00:02:56Sometimes I remember my mother's screams

00:03:00And panic in my mind

00:03:02Sometimes we used to say

00:03:04Mom, why are you screaming so much?

00:03:06Why are you creating panic?

00:03:07It will happen

00:03:08The same thing is slowly coming inside me

00:03:11It is coming

00:03:12And sometimes I stop

00:03:14Sometimes I stop

00:03:15I think

00:03:16When I look at myself in the mirror

00:03:18I have become like my mother

00:03:20And at that age

00:03:22I used to think it will happen

00:03:24We used to drag things

00:03:26We used to leave things

00:03:28But now it doesn't happen

00:03:30Because those things were slowly coming in

00:03:33The way my mother was being seen

00:03:36I have picked a lot of qualities from my mother

00:03:40I don't know

00:03:42Maybe those qualities are bad in people's eyes

00:03:45But you find all the qualities of your mother

00:03:49And you pick those

00:03:51So today, our celebrities

00:03:53Through this show

00:03:55Will tell us

00:03:56What did they learn from their mother?

00:03:58And what did they apply on their children?

00:04:02Or they couldn't apply on them

00:04:04There are a lot of children

00:04:07For example, I was a naughty girl

00:04:09My mother used to tell me

00:04:10And I didn't eat or drink

00:04:12She used to trouble me

00:04:13But my first child wasn't naughty

00:04:15She didn't trouble me that much

00:04:17So it depends

00:04:18There are a lot of things

00:04:19We learn from our mother

00:04:20But we don't get a chance to try

00:04:22Or we say that it was an old thing

00:04:25Let's make it new

00:04:27But still

00:04:28There are a lot of things told by our mother

00:04:31In your life

00:04:33Sometimes you remember

00:04:35And you say

00:04:36This is the right place

00:04:38To apply what your mother said

00:04:42Do you know what is the success of life?

00:04:44We know a lot of things

00:04:46But the timing

00:04:48What to say at what time

00:04:50And what to apply at what time

00:04:54This life is like a puzzle

00:04:56If you apply the right techniques in the right puzzles

00:05:00Then your life will be very successful

00:05:02And the definition of success for everyone is different

00:05:08Some people say

00:05:10Their family is complete

00:05:11Their children are on their feet

00:05:13Some people say

00:05:15They have earned a certain amount in life

00:05:18Some people have got that name

00:05:20Some people have reached where they wanted to reach

00:05:24Some people have earned money

00:05:26Earned name

00:05:27Earned love

00:05:28Earned love

00:05:30If you see

00:05:32The definition of success is different for everyone

00:05:35What is the definition of your success?

00:05:38And what did you learn from your mother?

00:05:41What did you apply on your children?

00:05:43Let's talk about it today

00:05:44Good morning Pakistan

00:05:45Stay with us after the break

00:05:55Welcome, welcome back

00:05:57Good morning Pakistan

00:05:58We have some mothers with us today

00:06:00Like our celebrity guest

00:06:02They are mothers

00:06:03Who are very conscious of their children

00:06:06Whether it is education or their physical appearance

00:06:10In the sense

00:06:11Eating and drinking

00:06:12Their nutrition actually

00:06:14So

00:06:15You can guess by talking

00:06:17And I think

00:06:18In today's program

00:06:20If you don't get 10 to 15 tips

00:06:24Then change my name

00:06:26That's why today's program is set

00:06:28The topic is

00:06:29What did we learn from our mother?

00:06:31And what did we test on our children?

00:06:33Let's welcome the first mother

00:06:34Today I am going to introduce her as a mother

00:06:37The first mother

00:06:38Whether she is a model

00:06:39Whether she is an actress

00:06:40Whether she is a business woman

00:06:43But above all

00:06:45She is a very loving mother

00:06:46Because I have seen her children

00:06:48Since they were in the womb

00:06:50Till they grew up

00:06:52And their hard work

00:06:54Can be seen in their children

00:06:56Let's welcome our lovely

00:06:58Vaneeza Ahmed

00:07:02Open it

00:07:06Hello

00:07:11Very good

00:07:12You are looking very beautiful

00:07:14But your set is looking so beautiful

00:07:16Thank you

00:07:18Come in

00:07:20I love it Nida

00:07:21You like it?

00:07:22I love it

00:07:23In the morning

00:07:24So many flowers

00:07:25I love it

00:07:26People will think she is in the garden

00:07:28Exactly

00:07:29Like I told you

00:07:30I sit in my garden every morning

00:07:32But this is beautiful

00:07:34Very nice

00:07:35I love the colours

00:07:36If you could praise the good people

00:07:38I wouldn't get fat

00:07:40I wouldn't get fat

00:07:42No, you won't get fat

00:07:44Because

00:07:46The previous set was also very good

00:07:48Colours were really nice

00:07:50But now

00:07:51The change is the exact opposite

00:07:53Of what it used to be

00:07:55Very feminine

00:07:57Yes

00:07:58It was a little experimental

00:08:00Everyone wants change

00:08:02Especially in their home

00:08:04So we have experimented

00:08:06With a dark wall

00:08:08And the furniture should be light

00:08:10Let's see the result

00:08:12Come in

00:08:13So my next

00:08:15Celebrity mother

00:08:17Obviously

00:08:19I wanted a mother

00:08:21Of every size

00:08:23So this mother

00:08:25Raised her daughter

00:08:27Single handed

00:08:29I would like to credit her

00:08:31It is very difficult

00:08:33But here you will get

00:08:35Very genuine tips

00:08:37So let's welcome

00:08:39Sharmeen Ali

00:08:50How are you?

00:08:52I can't get over this set

00:08:54Oh Haseen

00:08:56I feel like

00:08:58I have entered

00:09:00A Victorian era

00:09:02I am just literally tongue tied

00:09:04When I entered

00:09:06I could not believe my eyes

00:09:08You guys have done a wonderful job

00:09:10Thanks to our set department

00:09:12Absolutely

00:09:14Everyone's input

00:09:16Comes from the team

00:09:19But this is something

00:09:21Out of a story book

00:09:23Beautiful

00:09:25We will tell you a story

00:09:27A real story

00:09:29Please have a seat

00:09:31So the tips

00:09:33To raise a small baby

00:09:35In today's world

00:09:37We need help

00:09:39From today's mothers

00:09:41Who have seen this world

00:09:43From their mothers

00:09:45What did they learn

00:09:47Let's meet

00:09:49Our young mother

00:09:51Maham

00:10:01How are you?

00:10:03Haseen, you have made a set

00:10:05I don't think

00:10:07We can talk about it

00:10:09You changed the topic

00:10:11Let's just talk about your set

00:10:13It looks beautiful

00:10:15It looks like a cherry

00:10:17Blossom in Japan

00:10:19It looks beautiful

00:10:21And you look very nice

00:10:23Thank you

00:10:25It happens automatically

00:10:27Our women

00:10:29What do they like

00:10:31Home

00:10:33If you ask a woman

00:10:35She will say

00:10:37I want to have a home

00:10:39What is my life's wish

00:10:41I want to have a home

00:10:43Nowadays

00:10:45There is a lot of money

00:10:47To dye your hair

00:10:49You are right

00:10:51For a woman

00:10:53Her sanctuary

00:10:55Is her home

00:10:57I have learned this

00:10:59From my mother

00:11:01Where two money are connected

00:11:03It is at home

00:11:05I am so glad

00:11:07When you change the set

00:11:09It is a way to inspire

00:11:11Ideas are picked from here

00:11:13They are going to apply at home

00:11:15This is wonderful

00:11:17Whenever you want to take photos

00:11:19Come over to your set

00:11:21There is an instant moment

00:11:23In every corner

00:11:25I know

00:11:27Please invite me

00:11:29I will give you ideas

00:11:31We will ask our cameraman

00:11:33To change the color of the photos

00:11:35To a vintage theme

00:11:37It will have an impact

00:11:39We can't get over your set

00:11:41Very nice

00:11:43Beautiful

00:11:45When you meet your friends

00:11:47You get appreciation

00:11:49It is fun

00:11:51Let's move ahead

00:11:53What did you learn from your mother

00:11:55And what did you apply on your kids

00:11:57Let's start

00:11:59I have met your mother

00:12:01Your mother is a strong

00:12:03When I see her

00:12:05She looks like a strong lady

00:12:07When you were young

00:12:09What was her personality

00:12:11You can tell us

00:12:13She wasn't that strong

00:12:15Because we didn't live in Pakistan

00:12:17We lived abroad

00:12:19You know

00:12:21Her personality

00:12:23At that time

00:12:25My mother and I

00:12:27Were only 16 and a half

00:12:29She was younger

00:12:31I was born

00:12:33She is more like a sister

00:12:35I grew up with her

00:12:37I think you taught her

00:12:39Yes

00:12:41Sometimes

00:12:43I think

00:12:45When our daughters get married

00:12:47They are 16-17 years old

00:12:49Now they are 20-22

00:12:51They don't know how to raise their kids

00:12:53I was an old mother

00:12:55At the age of 40

00:12:57Compared to my mother

00:12:59At the age of 40

00:13:01I knew a lot more than my mother

00:13:03But a 17 year old girl

00:13:05Didn't know how to raise her kids

00:13:07She didn't know

00:13:09So her teaching

00:13:11Was by default

00:13:13She was alone

00:13:15When she was young

00:13:17We went abroad

00:13:19When I was 6

00:13:21Her grandmother

00:13:23Didn't teach her anything

00:13:25When you were abroad

00:13:27You didn't get help from your family

00:13:29When you got sick

00:13:31She didn't do anything

00:13:35She was alone

00:13:37Taking care of three children

00:13:39I taught her a lot

00:13:45She is still doing it

00:13:47She wakes up at night

00:13:49To watch her vlogs

00:13:51She gives me a lecture

00:13:53As if I'm her mother

00:13:55I tell her

00:13:57How important sleep is

00:13:59How important sleep is, how important food is, that's why I've become their mother now.

00:14:03It happens, doesn't it?

00:14:05It happens. At a certain time, we become the mothers of our mothers.

00:14:08You don't take your medicines, you don't go to the doctor for check-ups.

00:14:12And we get scolded a lot.

00:14:13Because Nida, at the end of the day, this is the problem with all of us.

00:14:17When we become mothers, we don't think about ourselves.

00:14:22We think about our children, our family. We take ourselves last.

00:14:27I would like to talk about this today.

00:14:29How important it is for mothers to take care of themselves.

00:14:33Prioritise yourself.

00:14:35If they don't prioritise themselves, how will they take care of their children?

00:14:37Like I did. When my children were born, I stopped thinking about myself and taking care of myself.

00:14:43It is very important that if a mother takes care of herself, she can teach her children the right things.

00:14:48Because children learn from you.

00:14:50How you are.

00:14:52You know, they see that.

00:14:53If they set an example, then the children will follow it.

00:14:56I think my mother taught me a lot about these things.

00:15:00Because she was alone, there was no one to help her.

00:15:03So, a little bit of discipline came from my mother.

00:15:09The basic things that came in nature came from my mother.

00:15:12The everyday things may be my own, but the things in nature...

00:15:17Okay, if we conclude that you picked discipline from your mother, then?

00:15:23And...

00:15:25The handling of things.

00:15:27To take hardship.

00:15:29And to convert it into something positive.

00:15:34So, this happened in our life.

00:15:36First my father's death, then my sister's.

00:15:38I saw my mother, how strong she became.

00:15:41So, I think the strength that I have is from my mother.

00:15:45From your mother. Exactly.

00:15:47So, let's go to you now, Shamim.

00:15:50First, I just want to ask, what did you learn from your mother?

00:15:53Then I will come to the kids.

00:15:55So, like your mother,

00:15:57the way you discuss,

00:15:59I think,

00:16:01she takes care of herself.

00:16:03She has always been in the kit,

00:16:05but she is also a strong woman.

00:16:07Very strong.

00:16:09Mashallah, Mashallah, my mother is a very strong woman.

00:16:13To the point where I would say that we have been together for 5 months, Mashallah.

00:16:15And I don't think that the strength that my mother has,

00:16:19is the same strength that we have in anyone.

00:16:21Because my father used to live abroad,

00:16:23for business, for job purposes.

00:16:25So, my mother raised 5 daughters here,

00:16:27almost all alone.

00:16:29Which was not an easy task.

00:16:315 daughters of all ages.

00:16:33My elder sister and I are 19 years apart.

00:16:35So, you can imagine,

00:16:37she had daughters of all ages at home.

00:16:39And the times were such,

00:16:41at that time,

00:16:43that they used to raise the girls very well.

00:16:47So, my mother has worked very hard.

00:16:49And single-handedly,

00:16:51what I have learnt from my mother,

00:16:53my mother has taught me that

00:16:55a woman can do everything herself.

00:16:57Absolutely.

00:16:59A woman does not need a man.

00:17:01That is what I have learnt from my mother.

00:17:03Because I have seen my mother working as a mechanic.

00:17:05I have seen my mother cutting groceries.

00:17:07Obviously, your father was not even there.

00:17:09My mother has cooked food.

00:17:11She was an amazing homemaker.

00:17:13The way my mother kept the house,

00:17:15and I have learnt a lot from my mother.

00:17:17Because at that time,

00:17:19there were 5 daughters and they had to get married.

00:17:21So, my mother,

00:17:23from the first day of her life,

00:17:25she spent very sensibly.

00:17:27Because my mother had to

00:17:29settle her 5 daughters in her house.

00:17:31So, this is what I have learnt from my mother,

00:17:33that even with less money,

00:17:35you can have

00:17:37a very well-maintained lifestyle.

00:17:39So,

00:17:41living a good life with less money,

00:17:43the art of living a good life,

00:17:45I have learnt from my mother.

00:17:47Amazing.

00:17:49And Maham,

00:17:51let's come to your mother.

00:17:53I think,

00:17:55I am becoming kind of a reflection now.

00:17:57Because the things I used to see in my childhood,

00:17:59I used to say,

00:18:01what is the need of this? What is the need of that?

00:18:03I started to do the same things.

00:18:05But that topic later,

00:18:07if we talk about a strong woman,

00:18:09or if people say that you have a very strong personality,

00:18:11I think, I got it

00:18:13and it has been passed on to me from my mother.

00:18:15Because I have always seen her doing exactly

00:18:17how Sharmeen said,

00:18:19my mother is going to a mechanic,

00:18:21she is also looking after the household chores,

00:18:23she is also looking after my brother.

00:18:25She has a very strong personality.

00:18:27Because I was very young when my father fell sick.

00:18:29So, even at that time,

00:18:31my mother was father and mother both at that point.

00:18:33Because my father was very sick,

00:18:35so my mother was also looking after him.

00:18:37But at the same time,

00:18:39she was also looking after both of us.

00:18:41And at the same time,

00:18:43I have seen her doing so many big things in life.

00:18:45And I have always seen her,

00:18:47obviously she is a human being,

00:18:49she feels for a time being,

00:18:51that this can't happen, what is next?

00:18:53But I have always seen her,

00:18:55we see very cute pictures and quotes,

00:18:57that there is a mama duck sitting with

00:18:59small ducklings holding her.

00:19:01My mother has kept me and my brother exactly the same.

00:19:03And she has passed on that thing to us,

00:19:05that how to see everything,

00:19:07how to be strong,

00:19:09how to talk to people,

00:19:11how to get up,

00:19:13how to sit, everything.

00:19:15My mother has always taught me,

00:19:17that you don't have to suppress anyone.

00:19:19If you have a point,

00:19:21then keep it.

00:19:23You don't have to be rude to somebody,

00:19:25but you have to come across very strong,

00:19:27so that people know,

00:19:29that she has her own individual personality.

00:19:31I got that thing from my mother.

00:19:33Now see, the common woman,

00:19:35strength or strong woman,

00:19:37a lot of people don't understand.

00:19:39They think she is rude,

00:19:41rude or something.

00:19:43There are a lot of such women.

00:19:45So the definition of strong,

00:19:47is different in everyone's life.

00:19:49So if I ask you,

00:19:51what is a strong woman,

00:19:53a strong mother?

00:19:55What do you think?

00:19:57I think, in my eyes,

00:19:59my mother's personality,

00:20:01strength comes,

00:20:03when you believe in your,

00:20:05you know,

00:20:07every woman has a sixth sense,

00:20:09especially a mother.

00:20:11Because the energy,

00:20:13when you believe in that,

00:20:15when it comes from God,

00:20:17I think that is the strength,

00:20:19that you believe in.

00:20:21I don't know how to explain,

00:20:23in Urdu,

00:20:25when you believe in.

00:20:27We will come after the break,

00:20:29and we will think about it,

00:20:31and we will translate it in Urdu.

00:20:33What is a strong woman,

00:20:35a strong mother?

00:20:37We will come after the break.

00:20:39Good morning.

00:20:45Welcome, welcome back.

00:20:47Good morning Pakistan.

00:20:49Today we have a very interesting topic.

00:20:51I have done such topics before,

00:20:53but I don't know why,

00:20:55every time I feel,

00:20:57that sometimes,

00:20:59it becomes very important.

00:21:01So we were talking about,

00:21:03what are strong mothers?

00:21:05A strong woman,

00:21:07who speaks for her rights,

00:21:09who is not rude,

00:21:11but if she has a point of view,

00:21:13then don't suppress it,

00:21:15but present it in a way,

00:21:17with respect.

00:21:19Let me tell you,

00:21:21what I call my mother strong,

00:21:23I have seen my mother,

00:21:25that everyone has ups and downs in life,

00:21:27there are ups and downs,

00:21:29but I have never seen my mother,

00:21:31breaking down.

00:21:33She always stayed collected,

00:21:35because she knew,

00:21:37that she has 5 daughters,

00:21:39she has to take care of her daughters,

00:21:41and I would say,

00:21:43to some extent,

00:21:45she has to take care of her father,

00:21:47he is her strength.

00:21:49And this is what they say,

00:21:51behind every successful man,

00:21:53there is a woman.

00:21:55My mother has given me this power,

00:21:57that she has made a man stronger,

00:21:59physically,

00:22:01but emotionally,

00:22:03she has made a woman stronger.

00:22:05So I have seen my mother,

00:22:07coming out of hardships,

00:22:09very sensibly,

00:22:11very calmly and collected.

00:22:13Yes, she is short tempered,

00:22:15and over the time,

00:22:17her temper has deteriorated,

00:22:19because obviously,

00:22:21a person gets tired,

00:22:23but still,

00:22:25I have never seen,

00:22:27that my mother had a problem,

00:22:29and she said,

00:22:31what should I do now?

00:22:33I can't survive this.

00:22:35And this thing,

00:22:37has come in us.

00:22:39I have adopted this thing,

00:22:41that I used to think,

00:22:43that I am very weak,

00:22:45my mother's personality is polar opposite.

00:22:47Mother is a very strong,

00:22:49outspoken woman,

00:22:51and my mother's personality was opposite,

00:22:53that until I started acting,

00:22:55I couldn't even go to the market alone.

00:22:57But when I read Nida,

00:22:59and when such a turn of life came,

00:23:01then it was not difficult for me,

00:23:03to take my stand,

00:23:05because I grew up seeing this.

00:23:07And you don't even know,

00:23:09that it becomes a passion in you.

00:23:11As you have been asked,

00:23:13what did you learn,

00:23:15and what did you apply on your children,

00:23:17so we have planned it,

00:23:19so that we can conclude,

00:23:21and tell you everything.

00:23:23So, who is the first card?

00:23:25Bravery.

00:23:27You told us about bravery,

00:23:29learn from your mother.

00:23:31Did you apply bravery on your children too?

00:23:33Do you think your daughter is as brave as you?

00:23:35One is,

00:23:37and the other is not.

00:23:39And I tell every woman,

00:23:41that every one of us,

00:23:43has the strength,

00:23:45that we are talking about.

00:23:47We don't even know.

00:23:49The women who think,

00:23:51that we are weak,

00:23:53you are not weak,

00:23:55Allah has not made you weak,

00:23:57especially if he has made you a mother.

00:23:59The strength that we are talking about,

00:24:01comes naturally to you,

00:24:03when Allah chooses you,

00:24:05to become a mother.

00:24:07That is why, as Sharmeen said,

00:24:09emotional strength is more important

00:24:11than a man in a woman.

00:24:13And unfortunately,

00:24:15we consider a man's strength,

00:24:17as our weakness.

00:24:19It is not our weakness,

00:24:21it is our power,

00:24:23our emotional regulation.

00:24:25And in today's world,

00:24:27we have to teach our daughters too.

00:24:29What I am teaching,

00:24:31which I didn't learn from my mother,

00:24:33I learned from Google.

00:24:35I like that.

00:24:37In our mothers' time,

00:24:39the way of living was totally different.

00:24:41The internet is a very far thing.

00:24:43In the olden days,

00:24:45we used to learn from our grandmothers,

00:24:47from the joint family system.

00:24:49Grandmother said something,

00:24:51mother said something.

00:24:53Now, we live independently.

00:24:55So, how can you learn independently

00:24:57from your mother?

00:24:59So, you learn from Google.

00:25:01And from Google,

00:25:03you get the benefit

00:25:05that you have certified doctors,

00:25:07whose work is that

00:25:09not every mother can be a psychologist,

00:25:11that you have to find

00:25:13your inner strength.

00:25:15Allah has given you that strength.

00:25:17It is in everyone.

00:25:19And,

00:25:21believe in Allah.

00:25:23This is what I learned from my mother.

00:25:25I think, women understand

00:25:27when, like you said,

00:25:29my mother was not strong with time.

00:25:31She was.

00:25:33She was stronger than before,

00:25:35but she got to know later.

00:25:37She got to know later,

00:25:39but she had to face it.

00:25:41My mother used to say,

00:25:43I used to think,

00:25:45I am very weak,

00:25:47my mother is very strong.

00:25:49So, she used to say,

00:25:51I have taught you,

00:25:53and when the time comes,

00:25:55you will survive.

00:25:57I know this.

00:25:59And,

00:26:01she was not running after me

00:26:03when I was not eating.

00:26:05She said,

00:26:07my child is not eating.

00:26:09My child has a cough,

00:26:11a cold, he is sick.

00:26:13Yes, there are problems.

00:26:15But, with time,

00:26:17for example,

00:26:19my child had fever,

00:26:21and I had to take him to the hospital.

00:26:23Because, we cannot

00:26:25self-medicate all the time.

00:26:27So, going to the hospital is not a bad thing.

00:26:29You can do everything yourself,

00:26:31it is better than doing it wrong.

00:26:33In many homes, it is understood,

00:26:35I will say one more thing,

00:26:37I have often seen mothers

00:26:39not taking the decision themselves.

00:26:41Can we take the child to the hospital?

00:26:43If my husband comes, he will tell me.

00:26:45If someone older comes, he will tell me.

00:26:47Although, it is not a big deal.

00:26:49You are the mother, you know what is needed.

00:26:51You know better.

00:26:53It is the same thing,

00:26:55you should have this confidence

00:26:57and this bravery,

00:26:59that you can actually stand up for your child,

00:27:01and say, my child is really sick,

00:27:03it doesn't matter who is there or not.

00:27:05Maybe, the way grandmothers

00:27:07and grandmothers handled it,

00:27:09was different, because the times were different.

00:27:11Like they said, you should have confidence,

00:27:13he is your child,

00:27:15you know your child better.

00:27:17Yes, don't self-medicate,

00:27:19but you can understand

00:27:21what your child is doing.

00:27:23That's what I am saying.

00:27:25I didn't learn it from my mother,

00:27:27I learned it from Google.

00:27:29To trust myself.

00:27:31You have to use a lot of things.

00:27:33A lot of things are from the past,

00:27:35a lot of things are from the present.

00:27:37And if you want to live a sensible life,

00:27:39you have to filter those things,

00:27:41that it applies to my child.

00:27:43It is not necessary that

00:27:45whatever applies to me,

00:27:47I will apply it to my child.

00:27:49Earlier, women didn't have confidence,

00:27:51we didn't know

00:27:53what is better or not.

00:27:55Now, because of the internet,

00:27:57you know everything.

00:27:59If you want to do anything,

00:28:01ask and do it.

00:28:03Earlier, they said,

00:28:05without thinking,

00:28:07you gave the responsibility of the child

00:28:09to someone else.

00:28:11You need to be aware

00:28:13of what you are doing,

00:28:15when you are becoming a mother.

00:28:17It should be a conscious decision

00:28:19to become a mother,

00:28:21not because you have to tick

00:28:23that you are married,

00:28:25you have a son,

00:28:27because we think that

00:28:29, you will grow up on your own.

00:28:31The consciousness parenting

00:28:33is very important,

00:28:35you should think and do everything

00:28:37for your baby.

00:28:39But because you are so young,

00:28:41when you have kids,

00:28:43they don't think,

00:28:45things happen on their own.

00:28:47So, sometimes go with the flow,

00:28:49don't take so much stress.

00:28:51Now, let's go to the next card.

00:28:53Investigation.

00:29:25And if we talk to our kids today, they will say, this is very wrong in our privacy.

00:29:34Boundaries, please.

00:29:36Please, what is this?

00:29:38We didn't get much permission to go out, but if we had to go somewhere,

00:29:44then mom used to make sure that whoever is going, talk to their mom.

00:29:49Discuss the whole plan with their mom that the kids will sit at your house.

00:29:53I will drop you at this time, I will pick you at this time.

00:29:56Don't go out anywhere, don't let the kid talk to anyone on the phone.

00:30:00My mother was very very strict.

00:30:02A little more strict than necessary.

00:30:04But I have this habit too.

00:30:07Obviously, because the times have changed.

00:30:09I can't do everything that my mom used to do.

00:30:12Because these days my daughter is 13 years old, she is not going to tolerate it.

00:30:16But I do make sure that whoever is going, I talk to their mom.

00:30:21I make sure that the house where she has gone, she is there.

00:30:24There is no other plan from there, she shouldn't go out.

00:30:27Because see, it's not about trusting your child.

00:30:29It's about the situation, current situation we are living in.

00:30:32The situation is really very bad.

00:30:34Your kids go out of the house and go to a restaurant.

00:30:37God forbid, there is an emergency, there is a mishap.

00:30:40How will you keep tracking the kids all the time?

00:30:43Never use the phone.

00:30:44As you are saying, I really liked what my mom said.

00:30:47After a certain age, she kept investigating and keeping an eye on us.

00:30:51Whether it was by picking up the phone or at night.

00:30:53Nowhere.

00:30:54There is no permission to stay at a cousin's house.

00:30:56You have to stay during the day, you have to do it during the day.

00:30:58So she made some policies.

00:31:02But after a certain time, she became very liberal.

00:31:06Really?

00:31:07Yes.

00:31:08Like we used to go to another city for shoots.

00:31:11When I started working, we used to go to another city.

00:31:16My mom didn't go with me.

00:31:18She knew that I had become a chicken.

00:31:23I used to get very irritated.

00:31:27What is this?

00:31:28I can't go out anywhere.

00:31:29Mom and dad both.

00:31:30And if they get permission with difficulty.

00:31:31When it was new, all the friends will go.

00:31:34Someone's birthday or something.

00:31:36To have anything.

00:31:37As good as a pizza.

00:31:38Exactly.

00:31:39Dad used to say, okay, go.

00:31:40No problem.

00:31:41But they used to make sure that after dropping, mom and dad also sit at some other table and eat.

00:31:46What is this?

00:31:47This is my privacy.

00:31:48I have my friends.

00:31:49I used to get so irritated.

00:31:50But now I understand that when I grew up, everything changed a lot.

00:31:55I think it was very important to make that base.

00:31:58Exactly.

00:31:59I was going to say that.

00:32:00It was very important.

00:32:01At that time, things were not understood.

00:32:02But as a parent, now I understand that if my daughter is 2.5 years old or 3 years old,

00:32:07I still think that she will go to school.

00:32:09So how do I do this?

00:32:10It will be here.

00:32:11I see my friends who have children.

00:32:12How do they deal with their children?

00:32:14They have exactly the same thing that happened to us in childhood.

00:32:17Mothers are watching.

00:32:18Okay, don't go to the terrace for so long.

00:32:19Stand there.

00:32:20What do you have to do there?

00:32:21Who do you have to talk to at night?

00:32:22Mobile phones were found so late.

00:32:24That too because the center is far away.

00:32:26So that's why you need a mobile phone.

00:32:27Apart from that, there was no permission.

00:32:29So I think it was very important.

00:32:30And with this, I explained one thing to my husband too.

00:32:34At a certain time.

00:32:36If a mother puts some restrictions on her daughter, then it doesn't feel bad.

00:32:42If a father has something, then he should tell his mother.

00:32:45He should not keep his relationship with his daughter like this.

00:32:48What are you doing?

00:32:49Wear a dupatta.

00:32:50Do this, do that.

00:32:51Because then it becomes bitter.

00:32:52Exactly.

00:32:53If he is missing something, he is a father.

00:32:55He has a right.

00:32:56And parenting should be from both sides.

00:32:59But if I had explained this to my husband,

00:33:01I said if you feel anything, then don't say it directly.

00:33:05Tell me.

00:33:06Your relationship should be so good.

00:33:09It should be so good.

00:33:11That it will shine in his personality.

00:33:15Do you know Nida?

00:33:16I'm sorry.

00:33:17You said in the beginning that I did it single-handedly.

00:33:20I would like to correct you that I didn't do it single-handedly.

00:33:23My daughter has an amazing father.

00:33:26He is a hands-on father.

00:33:28Okay.

00:33:29But this is very good in him.

00:33:31Although he is of a conservative mindset,

00:33:34but if he doesn't like something,

00:33:37if it's not sitting well with him,

00:33:40he calls me and says,

00:33:42whatever she is doing, explain it to her.

00:33:44Or you see, it's your decision.

00:33:46Or if the daughter, because the father is more lenient,

00:33:49the mother is strict,

00:33:50then she tries to get permission from the father.

00:33:52So his answer is, ask your mother.

00:33:55Same here.

00:33:56Ask your mother.

00:33:57Thank God, we don't have a conflict.

00:34:00So in co-parenting, it's very easy.

00:34:03If both the parents are on the same page.

00:34:05So I'm very lucky that way.

00:34:07He's been a wonderful father to her.

00:34:09Alhamdulillah.

00:34:11This is very important.

00:34:13Next.

00:34:14Hygiene.

00:34:15Hygiene.

00:34:17Yes.

00:34:18I think this is something that everyone should have.

00:34:21Everyone should have this.

00:34:23No one has this.

00:34:24No one has this.

00:34:25No one has this.

00:34:26Yes, you're right.

00:34:27Some people have this.

00:34:28My mother has taught me this since childhood.

00:34:31Whether it's cold or snowy,

00:34:34whether it's hot,

00:34:35even if you have to sit clean five times a day,

00:34:37my mother used to say, no.

00:34:38You have to change.

00:34:39You have to sit here.

00:34:41I have this bad habit.

00:34:43I don't know if it's bad.

00:34:44People get irritated.

00:34:45If you sit barefoot or come from outside,

00:34:47your feet will be washed first.

00:34:49Your hands, feet, mouth will be washed here and there.

00:34:51Even if I haven't taken a shower.

00:34:53I just got home.

00:34:54I don't do anything.

00:34:55It's a habit.

00:34:56I passed it on to my daughter.

00:34:57It's important.

00:34:58She's almost three years old.

00:35:00She has this habit.

00:35:01It's very important.

00:35:02I had this bad habit of roaming around barefoot.

00:35:05I didn't wear shoes.

00:35:06It was a carpeted house.

00:35:08My mother used to follow me.

00:35:09After that, my mother started scaring me.

00:35:11She said, your feet will grow.

00:35:12I said, if I grow this much,

00:35:13my feet will grow as well.

00:35:16My daughter does exactly the same.

00:35:18Barefoot, barefoot.

00:35:19I tell her, look, my feet will grow.

00:35:20Your feet will turn like me.

00:35:21She gets scared and wears shoes.

00:35:23There's nothing wrong with your feet.

00:35:24Even my feet are big.

00:35:25No, no, not in that way.

00:35:26Of course not.

00:35:27It's a good thing to walk barefoot.

00:35:28I told her, I have this problem.

00:35:31Sitting on the bed.

00:35:32She's absolutely right.

00:35:33If you walk barefoot at a young age,

00:35:36your feet will grow.

00:35:38Really?

00:35:39My mother told me the same.

00:35:41I still live with that fear.

00:35:42Okay.

00:35:43I still live with that fear.

00:35:44Because it's a normal size.

00:35:467, 8.

00:35:47It's a normal size.

00:35:48Okay.

00:35:49Now that you're talking about it,

00:35:51I didn't learn this from my mother.

00:35:53Because this happened to us.

00:35:54We were tall.

00:35:55Yes.

00:35:56So my father,

00:35:57my brother is 6'3".

00:35:58My mother is 5'8".

00:36:00So my father had this fear that

00:36:04our feet will grow.

00:36:05That's why.

00:36:06I was so used to wearing sneakers

00:36:09that I always wore sneakers.

00:36:11Now my daughters,

00:36:13Mashallah, are quite tall.

00:36:15They are 12 years old and

00:36:18Her father and mother are tall.

00:36:20Exactly. She's 5'7".

00:36:21And her shoes are 9".

00:36:24Which is taller than me.

00:36:26So I didn't do what my parents

00:36:29used to torture me.

00:36:30They used to make you wear small shoes.

00:36:31Yes. They didn't let me wear big shoes.

00:36:32Really?

00:36:33They used to tell me to wear small shoes.

00:36:34My feet had to be small.

00:36:35So I got used to wearing tight shoes.

00:36:37Wait a minute.

00:36:38They will get good shoes in the sale.

00:36:40They will get good shoes in the sale.

00:36:41But now they have such big feet.

00:36:439 years old.

00:36:44See, this is true.

00:36:469 years old.

00:36:47Let's come back after the break.

00:36:49Then we will discuss it again.

00:36:51Good morning, Pakistan.

00:36:58Welcome. Welcome back.

00:36:59Good morning, Pakistan.

00:37:00So today we are discussing

00:37:02what we learned from our mother

00:37:04and what we apply on our children.

00:37:06Do we apply it or not?

00:37:08You will know those things today.

00:37:10Did you tell them?

00:37:11We were talking about hygiene.

00:37:13We were talking about bathing, washing and cleaning.

00:37:15Sometimes my husband tells me

00:37:17that I will scratch my child.

00:37:19After bathing.

00:37:21But I think it is necessary.

00:37:23I can't tolerate it.

00:37:24It is not necessary.

00:37:25For God's sake.

00:37:26I don't know.

00:37:27Before going to sleep at night,

00:37:29it should be a clean outfit to go to bed.

00:37:31Doctor told me that I did this

00:37:33with my child.

00:37:35And she has got eczema.

00:37:37Oh lord.

00:37:38Doctor told me that

00:37:40there are natural microbes on our skin

00:37:42which are necessary for our child.

00:37:44And we wash it off

00:37:46and spoil its skin.

00:37:48Because we use so much soap.

00:37:50In baby lotion, baby soap.

00:37:52There are so many chemicals.

00:37:54Toxic chemicals.

00:37:55In powder, talcum powder.

00:37:57For God's sake.

00:37:58Don't use it on your children.

00:37:59The one which is applied on the face.

00:38:00Yes.

00:38:01I learned this from my mother.

00:38:03Use natural things on your children's skin.

00:38:05Don't use soap.

00:38:07No, I don't.

00:38:09Because they are not dirty.

00:38:11But those who have played

00:38:13are important.

00:38:15Sweaty.

00:38:16That way, yes.

00:38:17When children are growing up,

00:38:19they sweat a lot at a certain age.

00:38:21Yes.

00:38:22Especially when they are 12 or 13.

00:38:24Use it regularly.

00:38:26The children who have come from school

00:38:28or college,

00:38:30it is important to make them aware.

00:38:32It is important.

00:38:33Especially from the parents.

00:38:35That this shouldn't happen.

00:38:37Of course.

00:38:39It is important to take care of your personal hygiene.

00:38:42It's just that I have gotten it from my mother.

00:38:44And I want to pass that on to her.

00:38:46It's very important.

00:38:47I don't want her to go to anyone

00:38:49or see anyone.

00:38:51I get very uncomfortable.

00:38:53Somebody is not.

00:38:54It has a body odor.

00:38:55I just don't like it.

00:38:56And find out why the body odor is there.

00:38:58Yes, exactly.

00:38:59There is no need for it.

00:39:00You are eating something.

00:39:01There is a hormonal imbalance.

00:39:02Exactly.

00:39:03But it is not done in our country.

00:39:04It is not even told.

00:39:05You can wear the clothes you have kept.

00:39:07Repeating it is not a problem.

00:39:08But if the clothes are dirty,

00:39:09if you wear it,

00:39:10it won't smell.

00:39:11And you wash the clothes.

00:39:12But you don't wear the burkha.

00:39:13You don't wash it.

00:39:14So it is important.

00:39:15Yes.

00:39:16And like your body odor is so much.

00:39:19You don't do anything.

00:39:21You don't like your face at all.

00:39:22So all these things

00:39:23have been in my mind since childhood.

00:39:26And because you will put it in your child.

00:39:28Yes.

00:39:29Otherwise,

00:39:30they don't become your friends.

00:39:31You are self-aware.

00:39:33You are self-aware.

00:39:34That this thing is a problem.

00:39:35I mean,

00:39:36our children,

00:39:37in the group of their friends,

00:39:38if there is someone like that,

00:39:39they used to keep his name.

00:39:40And they used to discuss with us.

00:39:42His smell is like this.

00:39:44He enters the room.

00:39:46So this happens.

00:39:47Such things happen.

00:39:48Exactly.

00:39:49A person who doesn't look good in preparation

00:39:51has a bad smell.

00:39:53Yes.

00:39:54You think that you are ready from above.

00:39:56But you have such a bad smell.

00:39:58There was a concept in our house too.

00:39:59Whether there is a fragrance or not.

00:40:01There is a bad smell.

00:40:02There is a bad smell.

00:40:03Whether there is a fragrance or not.

00:40:04People don't have those methods.

00:40:07They don't even know.

00:40:08They use those bad body sprays.

00:40:10Because of which they don't know

00:40:11that when they meet with a bad smell with sweat,

00:40:13it becomes a bad smell.

00:40:15They don't understand that

00:40:16they have to clean the sweat first.

00:40:18But how to clean the sweat?

00:40:19Naturally,

00:40:20you know on the set

00:40:22that this is happening with people.

00:40:24And what we call common,

00:40:27I am not calling you common.

00:40:28You are not common at all.

00:40:29You are also very special.

00:40:30Like all of us are special.

00:40:32So if the people don't have the means,

00:40:34then use it properly.

00:40:36That is the best thing.

00:40:37Whether you do it or not,

00:40:38you have to teach your sons, daughters,

00:40:40husband, especially husband.

00:40:45You have to teach your children.

00:40:47You have to teach your husband too.

00:40:48I don't know,

00:40:49his mother didn't teach him.

00:40:50Tell us the method too.

00:40:51Tell us the method too.

00:40:52Method?

00:40:53When I take a bath,

00:40:54I have become used to Karachi.

00:40:56Although I live in Islamabad now,

00:40:58I still take a bath in a bucket.

00:41:00I don't take a shower.

00:41:01I still take a bath in a bucket.

00:41:03So I have become used to the fitkari.

00:41:05I have kept fitkari in every bathroom.

00:41:10The one that I gargle,

00:41:12I put it in my glass too.

00:41:14It is good for teeth and mouth.

00:41:16It is antibacterial.

00:41:17And I put it in my bucket.

00:41:19And the one that is a little hard,

00:41:21but it has a portion,

00:41:23I actually do use it all over my body.

00:41:25As a roll-on.

00:41:27Yes, I use it as a roll-on.

00:41:29And let me tell you one more thing,

00:41:30very soon,

00:41:31not now,

00:41:32it will take a month or two,

00:41:34but I will get my natural deodorant too.

00:41:36Very good.

00:41:37Natural deodorant,

00:41:38because even if you use other deodorants,

00:41:42it can also cause cancer.

00:41:46It is very important

00:41:48that whatever you are buying,

00:41:51there is everything about it on the internet.

00:41:53Earlier, in our time,

00:41:55our mother used to say,

00:41:56use this, we did it,

00:41:57we didn't think about it.

00:41:58So it is very important

00:42:00that you read information about it.

00:42:02Whatever you use,

00:42:04but do use something natural.

00:42:06Whether it is the smell of your mouth,

00:42:08or the smell of your body.

00:42:10And it also comes from the feet.

00:42:12For that too, pitkari.

00:42:14Pitkari, baking soda,

00:42:16the problem of shoes is in many children.

00:42:20So when my children's shoes come,

00:42:22although they hate it,

00:42:24I put baking soda on them.

00:42:26Because when they sweat,

00:42:28they will get hungry.

00:42:29And if they close it in the cupboard,

00:42:31then I leave it in an open place.

00:42:33And baking soda will get rid of the sweat.

00:42:35So these are 2-3 things

00:42:36that we learn from our mothers.

00:42:38And all these things are very basic.

00:42:40Everyone can get it.

00:42:41They are not very expensive.

00:42:42Fidelity is always kept in my bathroom.

00:42:44It is a crystal bar.

00:42:46You can get it softened by rubbing it.

00:42:48So if you can apply it in your underarms.

00:42:50In fact, even before makeup,

00:42:51people put pitkari in water

00:42:53and apply it all over the face.

00:42:54It gets rid of the seeds.

00:42:55It gets rid of the seeds

00:42:56because it is anti-bacterial.

00:42:57It is so good that you...

00:42:58I mean, I don't like it

00:42:59when I hug someone

00:43:00and there is darkness in front of their eyes.

00:43:02No, no.

00:43:03It happened during a shoot.

00:43:05We were shooting in London.

00:43:06I won't mention the name.

00:43:08There is a very big star

00:43:10of our Pakistan.

00:43:12This is going on.

00:43:14We will have to tell.

00:43:16But one of them

00:43:17used to have a very bad body odor.

00:43:19So my...

00:43:20And I am a little...

00:43:22Outspoken.

00:43:23Yes, right?

00:43:24So my...

00:43:25They gave me the responsibility

00:43:27all the set people.

00:43:28That whenever it happens,

00:43:29you have to cure them.

00:43:31First, I brought everyone to the set

00:43:33and gave deodorant.

00:43:34To everyone.

00:43:35Yes, to everyone.

00:43:36Then every time our show started...

00:43:38I mean, before the scene started,

00:43:40I used to give chewing gum to them.

00:43:42We were in London.

00:43:43So I...

00:43:44I couldn't give soft.

00:43:45I didn't have it.

00:43:46So after the 10th day,

00:43:47they say,

00:43:48what is your problem?

00:43:49Why do you keep giving me

00:43:50chewing gum all the time?

00:43:51I said, no, no.

00:43:52I also have a habit

00:43:53that my jaw will become thin

00:43:54if I eat chewing gum.

00:43:57So these things happen to you.

00:44:00That people have a problem.

00:44:02So get your stomach checked.

00:44:04Get your gut checked.

00:44:05Whether it's the smell of the mouth,

00:44:07whether it's the smell of the body

00:44:08or the smell of the feet.

00:44:09It means that you have

00:44:10something wrong inside.

00:44:11There is bacteria

00:44:12because of which the smell is coming.

00:44:13So this happens.

00:44:14It happens every day.

00:44:15That someone is sitting

00:44:16in the office

00:44:17and he is smelling so bad.

00:44:18How do you make him smell?

00:44:19In the slides,

00:44:20someone is like this with you

00:44:21and they make your hair like this.

00:44:22Now stop talking about the smell.

00:44:24Just moving on.

00:44:25Hygiene.

00:44:26Hygiene.

00:44:27Learn from your mother.

00:44:28Learn from your mother.

00:44:29If your mother is not teaching you,

00:44:30then learn from Google Aunty.

00:44:31Show me the next slide.

00:44:32These people are not...

00:44:33They won't keep quiet.

00:44:34People are eating papayas and tea.

00:44:36Self-independent.

00:44:37Yes.

00:44:38This is my mother.

00:44:39I think she gave me

00:44:40self-independence.

00:44:43Self-independence.

00:44:44Yes.

00:44:45You...

00:44:46What she said earlier,

00:44:48I learned from my mother.

00:44:49Definitely.

00:44:50On our decisions,

00:44:52what we do,

00:44:54we should treat our children

00:44:58like children.

00:44:59But Allah gave us

00:45:01an intuition,

00:45:03a power.

00:45:05So I am applying that

00:45:07on my children.

00:45:09That I listen to them.

00:45:11I let them be independent.

00:45:13You tell me.

00:45:14If I don't want to eat anything,

00:45:15I say, no problem.

00:45:16I don't feel hungry.

00:45:17I don't want to eat.

00:45:18Because I don't like this.

00:45:19So I let them be independent.

00:45:21Okay, tell me.

00:45:22What do you like?

00:45:24Or if they have to make a decision,

00:45:26I encourage their decision-making.

00:45:29That they get used to it.

00:45:31That they make that.

00:45:32Otherwise, what happens with us is

00:45:33that the children say,

00:45:34no, you can't do this.

00:45:35You can't take this decision.

00:45:36So that doubt starts to arise.

00:45:39Especially the first seven years of your life.

00:45:42We live in doubt.

00:45:44That what we thought,

00:45:45what we understood.

00:45:47Like she said,

00:45:48even if you are going somewhere,

00:45:49whether you reach or not,

00:45:50you don't have that independence.

00:45:52You become reliant on your parents.

00:45:54On your mother especially.

00:45:56For every decision that has to be made.

00:45:58This has come in my younger daughter.

00:46:01When she was small,

00:46:02she used to go to the bathroom.

00:46:03So she used to come and say,

00:46:04can I go to the bathroom?

00:46:05She used to say, yes, yes, of course.

00:46:07She used to come and ask me ten times a day.

00:46:10And I would be like,

00:46:11of course you can do it.

00:46:12Go, please.

00:46:13Don't ask me.

00:46:14Even now,

00:46:15even the elders ask me,

00:46:16can I wear this?

00:46:17You tell me,

00:46:18which one should I choose?

00:46:19Don't do this with the kids.

00:46:21Which we do a lot.

00:46:23So let them be independent

00:46:25on their own,

00:46:26take their own decisions.

00:46:27Because they have to do this all their life.

00:46:29If we don't teach them now,

00:46:31when will they learn?

00:46:33Then you become reliant on the husband,

00:46:35on somebody else.

00:46:36This is a very good thing.

00:46:37This is a very good thing.

00:46:38It is very important to do it within yourself.

00:46:40So basically you are saying

00:46:41that don't pamper so much

00:46:42that the kids lose their decision making power.

00:46:47They should have their own autonomy.

00:46:49Every human being has it.

00:46:50For example,

00:46:51sometimes we used to record some people

00:46:54that some kids of our family

00:46:56were like this.

00:46:57They used to say,

00:46:58they have grown up.

00:46:59Mom, give them food.

00:47:00That means they can't make that much of a decision.

00:47:02Brother, how hungry are you?

00:47:04Mom, give them food.

00:47:05Why?

00:47:06We used to record that

00:47:08they will come and say,

00:47:09Mom, give them food.

00:47:11Mom, give them food.

00:47:12Mom, give them food.

00:47:13So,

00:47:14this is symbolic.

00:47:16It means that

00:47:17how hungry are you?

00:47:18When do you have to go to the washroom?

00:47:20What do you have to do?

00:47:21They can't make any decision.

00:47:22Make your own decisions.

00:47:23What do you want?

00:47:24You should think about yourself,

00:47:25about your child.

00:47:26Not because I am a mother,

00:47:27so if I want this,

00:47:28then my child will want this.

00:47:30We think like this.

00:47:31I know better.

00:47:32I know better.

00:47:33Actually,

00:47:34this also happens that

00:47:35I could never become a doctor.

00:47:36I want my daughter to become a doctor.

00:47:37Exactly.

00:47:38Because if I can't become a doctor,

00:47:39then she will do it.

00:47:41I am not saying that

00:47:42parents can't fulfill their wishes.

00:47:44No.

00:47:45But it is important to be confident.

00:47:46Even if the child doesn't want to become a doctor.

00:47:48Exactly.

00:47:49It is important to ask them.

00:47:50What you are saying is absolutely right.

00:47:52You should recognize your children

00:47:54because every child

00:47:56with their own personality,

00:47:58is not your personality.

00:48:00Khalil Gibran's poetry is very good.

00:48:02It is a poem.

00:48:03It is a poem by Hazrat Ali too.

00:48:05By the way,

00:48:06your children are not you.

00:48:08Remember this.

00:48:09They are independent souls

00:48:11who have brought their own destiny

00:48:13and not yours.

00:48:15And what we do is

00:48:17we put our unfulfilled

00:48:19dreams on them.

00:48:21If I didn't do this,

00:48:23then you will do it.

00:48:24If this injustice happens to me,

00:48:25then I won't let it happen to you.

00:48:27Many women also do this.

00:48:29They make it negative

00:48:31towards men.

00:48:33Because their experience

00:48:35was not good.

00:48:37So, try to understand

00:48:39your child.

00:48:41How your child is.

00:48:43And apply those things on him.

00:48:45And don't put your things on them.

00:48:47Exactly.

00:48:48It doesn't mean that

00:48:50you should let your children be free.

00:48:52You are not telling them to be free.

00:48:54As it is said,

00:48:56you will know.

00:48:58You have more experience than your children.

00:49:00You will know many things.

00:49:01They don't know.

00:49:02But if they want to say something

00:49:04or do something,

00:49:05let them say.

00:49:06Then you can tell them

00:49:08what is good and what is bad.

00:49:09You can pick and choose

00:49:10what you want to do.

00:49:11Because obviously,

00:49:12parents don't want anything wrong for you.

00:49:13But still,

00:49:14you have to let them be for a while also.

00:49:16First of all,

00:49:18most of the women

00:49:20don't know themselves.

00:49:22Yes.

00:49:23First of all,

00:49:24you should do this.

00:49:25You should parent yourself.

00:49:27Because we don't have good parenting.

00:49:29Good in the sense,

00:49:31our mothers tried to raise us

00:49:33the way they learned.

00:49:35But that wasn't parenting.

00:49:37Raising children quickly.

00:49:39Raising five children

00:49:41is such a difficult task.

00:49:43I can't even raise two.

00:49:44I have to raise five.

00:49:46So,

00:49:47first understand yourself.

00:49:49Because we don't understand ourselves.

00:49:50And then understand your children.

00:49:51Who are they?

00:49:52Because the eldest child

00:49:54is born with a different personality.

00:49:56The second child is also different.

00:49:58The way you raised the first child,

00:50:00you can't raise the second child like that.

00:50:02So, you have to be very aware

00:50:04of what you're doing in your parenting.

00:50:06So, the independence that I'm talking about,

00:50:08the children,

00:50:10naturally,

00:50:12every human being has that.

00:50:14A special thing.

00:50:16Recognize that.

00:50:18And work on that

00:50:20instead.

00:50:22Absolutely.

00:50:24Next slide.

00:50:26Strictness.

00:50:28We had already discussed that.

00:50:30Mother's strictness.

00:50:32There is one thing that I didn't do.

00:50:34Yes.

00:50:36I did pass on from my mother.

00:50:38I saw my mother doing it.

00:50:40But I changed it.

00:50:42Yes.

00:50:44Because as a child,

00:50:46I used to feel that strictness was more than necessary.

00:50:48And because of that,

00:50:50there was a stage in my life

00:50:52where I became rebellious.

00:50:54A little rebellious.

00:50:56In this rebelliousness,

00:50:58I couldn't do what people do.

00:51:00Because I was living in a very

00:51:02controlled environment.

00:51:04And I was only 17 when I got married.

00:51:06So, I didn't get much time.

00:51:08But in my mind,

00:51:10its impact wasn't right.

00:51:12I think so.

00:51:14And the childhood memories,

00:51:16which should be fond memories,

00:51:18are not that fond.

00:51:20So,

00:51:22I had always thought that

00:51:24I won't do strictness.

00:51:26I will be more of a friend

00:51:28to my child than

00:51:30a strict guardian.

00:51:32A lot of people

00:51:34don't agree with me.

00:51:36They say that a parent should be a parent.

00:51:38There is no need to be a friend.

00:51:40There are stages in life.

00:51:42In childhood, yes, you have to be a parent.

00:51:44You have to discipline your child.

00:51:46You have to make him strong.

00:51:48But after that, you have to switch over.

00:51:50It's the need of the hour.

00:51:52If you don't become a friend with your child,

00:51:54then your child will go far away from you.

00:51:56Because the world we live in

00:51:58is a very dangerous world.

00:52:00And if you

00:52:02keep your child in strictness,

00:52:04then even if he does something,

00:52:06he will never confide in you.

00:52:08He won't talk to you.

00:52:10Because he will be scared

00:52:12that his mother will slap him.

00:52:14So, I did the polar opposite

00:52:16of what my mother

00:52:18used to do.

00:52:20She was very strict with her daughters.

00:52:22We were not allowed to go out anywhere.

00:52:24She was strict with everything.

00:52:26I don't do this with my daughter.

00:52:28She is allowed to make her own decisions.

00:52:30She has to go out.

00:52:32I give her the permission

00:52:34because I believe as an individual human being,

00:52:36she has a need to socialize also.

00:52:38With social animals.

00:52:40We can't lock our children at home.

00:52:42You are crushing their personality.

00:52:44I think that's why

00:52:46up to a certain age,

00:52:48I didn't have any confidence.

00:52:50Because I didn't get that exposure.

00:52:52I didn't get that exposure.

00:52:54I wasn't exposed to the outside world.

00:52:56Eventually,

00:52:58it was very difficult for me to change.

00:53:00I had to do a lot of hard work.

00:53:02I didn't want my daughter to go through that.

00:53:04That's why I made a lot of difference.

00:53:06It makes me very proud

00:53:08when I see the person that she is growing into.

00:53:10Mashallah.

00:53:12She is a very well behaved child.

00:53:14She is very focused.

00:53:16She knows what she is doing.

00:53:18She is very sensible.

00:53:20I am very happy to see

00:53:22that she makes smart choices.

00:53:24Alhamdulillah.

00:53:26We have also made smart choices.

00:53:28Just like our mother raised us.

00:53:30It's not like we are stupid.

00:53:32We are very intelligent.

00:53:34All of my sisters.

00:53:36But I like that I did a different parenting.

00:53:38And the outcome was good.

00:53:40It means the times have changed.

00:53:42Exactly.

00:53:44It's the need of the hour.

00:53:46You can't lock your children at home.

00:53:48Sometimes,

00:53:50I compare a parent

00:53:52to a chameleon.

00:53:54You have to change

00:53:56like a chameleon.

00:53:58When do you have to be a parent?

00:54:00When do you have to be a teacher?

00:54:02When do you have to be a friend?

00:54:04If you know this,

00:54:06then you are successful.

00:54:08When do you have to be a friend?

00:54:10This is a very difficult thing

00:54:12to do as a mother.

00:54:14We think it's very easy.

00:54:16No.

00:54:18I have always said

00:54:20that I have run a company.

00:54:22It's very easy.

00:54:24It's a company.

00:54:26It's your child.

00:54:28This is your future.

00:54:30It's everyone's future.

00:54:32If the mother gives the training,

00:54:34then the child will be like that.

00:54:36The first 7 years

00:54:38are very important.

00:54:40You have to give confidence to your child.

00:54:42So that he can make his own decisions.

00:54:44We are taking a short break.

00:54:46We will come back after the break.

00:54:48Good morning, Pakistan.

00:54:56Welcome, welcome back.

00:54:58Good morning, Pakistan.

00:55:00Today we are discussing

00:55:02what we learned from our mothers

00:55:04and what we transferred to our children.

00:55:06We are not just talking about daughters.

00:55:08It's very important to teach our sons as well.

00:55:10She is our daughter.

00:55:12You also have a daughter.

00:55:14It's very important to teach our sons as well.

00:55:16Mothers should not sit relaxed

00:55:18like their sons.

00:55:20We have a son.

00:55:22We have both.

00:55:24It's very important to teach our sons.

00:55:26I feel,

00:55:28we should not teach our sons

00:55:30what we should teach.

00:55:32We make them retarded.

00:55:34Their growth is retardation.

00:55:36Like you said,

00:55:38the mother fed him food.

00:55:40I have seen this in people's homes.

00:55:42They treat them very specially.

00:55:44When they grow up,

00:55:46they feel that

00:55:48they don't need to do their own things.

00:55:50Like our mother,

00:55:52our father was in the army.

00:55:54Our grandfather was also in the army.

00:55:56So make your own bed as soon as you wake up.

00:55:58That's the first thing.

00:56:00Make your own bed.

00:56:02It's very important.

00:56:04We learned this.

00:56:06My brother was also taught this.

00:56:08My father used to cook very well.

00:56:10He used to cook when he was interested.

00:56:14My brother cooks for his wife.

00:56:16In fact, he takes care of his children.

00:56:18My brother

00:56:20lives in Jeddah.

00:56:22He is a stay-at-home dad.

00:56:24He is not a housewife.

00:56:26He is a house dad.

00:56:28His wife works.

00:56:30He takes care of his children.

00:56:32We taught him everything.

00:56:34He was the only son.

00:56:36He went to the army.

00:56:38Teach your son everything.

00:56:40Prophet Muhammad used to wash his own clothes.

00:56:42We don't respect him.

00:56:44How can our son

00:56:46or husband

00:56:48work at home?

00:56:50How is this possible?

00:56:52Teach your daughter everything.

00:56:54Teach her to work.

00:56:56Teach her to work at home.

00:56:58If she wants to work outside,

00:57:00teach her to work.

00:57:02Hazrat Khadija used to work.

00:57:04In our times,

00:57:06if a woman can't work outside,

00:57:08why can't she?

00:57:10If you teach her,

00:57:12she will work outside.

00:57:14Teach your son to work.

00:57:16Teach your daughter to work.

00:57:18Sorry, I forgot.

00:57:22Diet.

00:57:24Did you teach her diet?

00:57:26I forgot.

00:57:28It's not like that.

00:57:30It's about eating well.

00:57:32My mother

00:57:34worked hard for us.

00:57:36She fed me well.

00:57:38I was one of those

00:57:40who couldn't eat well.

00:57:42When I sit down to eat,

00:57:44Sharmeen has also seen it.

00:57:46I couldn't eat well.

00:57:48Everyone was eating meat.

00:57:50I was like, I can't have it

00:57:52because I don't eat meat.

00:57:54It could be any reason.

00:57:56It's not like I didn't eat since childhood.

00:57:58My mother used to say that

00:58:00she left me after an incident.

00:58:02Whatever that incident was.

00:58:04I try to eat well

00:58:06like my mother did.

00:58:08I don't give her

00:58:10such a beautiful plate

00:58:12so that she can say

00:58:14I don't want it.

00:58:16I try to feed her

00:58:18what I don't eat.

00:58:20So that she doesn't have

00:58:22the same problems that I have.

00:58:24I can't eat this, I can't eat that.

00:58:26I have a problem with this.

00:58:28I can't digest it.

00:58:30I can't eat it.

00:58:32I don't like it.

00:58:34I have to eat good things.

00:58:36I don't give her fruits

00:58:38until I force her to eat it.

00:58:40I don't force her to eat it.

00:58:42I will eat it, but I don't know when.

00:58:44I do this with her.

00:58:46I give her a good fruit.

00:58:48If she eats a handful of nuts,

00:58:50I say it's good.

00:58:52My mother used to do this to me.

00:58:54Even today, when I go home,

00:58:56I tell my mother

00:58:58I don't want to eat this.

00:59:00I want her to eat this.

00:59:02I didn't want to force her to eat this.

00:59:04That's why I tried to give her

00:59:06good things.

00:59:08My brother eats everything.

00:59:10He cooks well.

00:59:12His wife cooks well.

00:59:14He learned all this.

00:59:16I was away from the kitchen

00:59:18so I'm learning to cook now.

00:59:20I can cook some good things

00:59:22but I want her to learn

00:59:24My kids learn from my mother.

00:59:26For example,

00:59:28I used to eat a lot of grains

00:59:30so I stopped eating meat.

00:59:32I stopped eating beef.

00:59:34I felt that

00:59:36I stopped eating

00:59:38the grains of my youth.

00:59:40I should have developed

00:59:42the taste of meat.

00:59:44So I started eating chicken.

00:59:46My kids started doing the same.

00:59:48My husband said

00:59:50he eats everything.

00:59:52He's so sweet.

00:59:54He doesn't have any tantrums.

00:59:56He can eat anything.

00:59:58My kids were cooking chicken

01:00:00and my husband said

01:00:02it's easy for you to cook chicken

01:00:04because it cooks fast.

01:00:06Why can't my kids eat everything?

01:00:08They should eat vegetables and meat.

01:00:10They should have a balanced diet.

01:00:12My husband used to eat a lot of vegetables

01:00:14so I became immune to vegetables.

01:00:16But I stopped eating meat.

01:00:18Then

01:00:20he became strict.

01:00:22He said

01:00:24I'm not restricting you to eat

01:00:26but my kids should eat

01:00:28chicken once a week.

01:00:30When you cook desi ghee

01:00:32you can smell it.

01:00:34My parents have eaten it.

01:00:36But I don't like it

01:00:38because I can't eat it.

01:00:40I make sure my kids

01:00:42eat desi ghee.

01:00:44I can't eat eggs

01:00:46because I can't have eggs anymore.

01:00:48So I told him

01:00:50it's not necessary

01:00:52to eat everything.

01:00:54Then I realized

01:00:56that the restriction has been removed.

01:00:58Now kids eat everything.

01:01:00They eat meat, mutton,

01:01:02vegetables and lentils.

01:01:04I credit it to my husband

01:01:06because

01:01:08my kids were picking it up.

01:01:10He had an idea.

01:01:12My husband and I

01:01:14are picky about food.

01:01:16He eats all kinds of meat

01:01:18but I can't.

01:01:20I can eat fish

01:01:22because my mom loves seafood.

01:01:24I can eat fish, prawns

01:01:26but not chicken.

01:01:28I don't have meat.

01:01:30But I want him to eat everything.

01:01:32So I want to pass on

01:01:34my mom's diet to my son.

01:01:36So basically

01:01:38this is a concept of being open

01:01:40to things.

01:01:42I tried a lot.

01:01:44When I was a kid

01:01:46I couldn't do it with my brother.

01:01:48He used to feed me

01:01:50a lot of food.

01:01:52So I became very fat.

01:01:54I did this with my kids

01:01:56when I used to feel hungry.

01:01:58I used to say okay.

01:02:00But from the first day

01:02:02because I was like this

01:02:04and my mom wasn't like this.

01:02:06She used to get fish in the microwave

01:02:08in Germany.

01:02:10She used to fry it.

01:02:12You don't have to cook

01:02:14all the convenient things.

01:02:16In Pakistan it's more.

01:02:18So I taught my daughters

01:02:20what they should eat.

01:02:22They get it from school

01:02:24but I do it a lot.

01:02:26Now you get a lot from school.

01:02:28I taught them about protein

01:02:30and the food pyramid.

01:02:32When I cook food

01:02:34I have a menu.

01:02:36I cook meat

01:02:38twice a week.

01:02:40And once in a month I cook chicken.

01:02:42Not chicken at all.

01:02:44Because chicken has hormones.

01:02:46I don't cook chicken for my kids.

01:02:48These days chicken is not good.

01:02:50Even desi chicken

01:02:52is difficult to cook.

01:02:54You can only make yakhni.

01:02:56You can't eat desi chicken.

01:02:58I make cutlets

01:03:00for my kids.

01:03:02I teach them

01:03:04one cheat day

01:03:06like pizza, burger, junk day

01:03:08whatever you eat.

01:03:10Two days for meat,

01:03:12one day for vegetables,

01:03:14one day for fish,

01:03:16one day for lentils.

01:03:18So they eat everything?

01:03:20Yes.

01:03:22Naya used to eat

01:03:24everything from avocados

01:03:26to bitter gourd.

01:03:28But when she turned 10-11

01:03:30she started liking everything.

01:03:32So I don't force her.

01:03:34I force her

01:03:36on green day.

01:03:38You tell me if you want okra, broccoli,

01:03:40anything green

01:03:42except cucumber.

01:03:44Because kids like cucumber.

01:03:46So I tell her

01:03:48one day before cheat day

01:03:50if you eat broccoli

01:03:52you will get cheetos tomorrow

01:03:54or else I won't give you cheetos.

01:03:58So I force her

01:04:00and make her understand

01:04:02why it is important.

01:04:04Like I said earlier

01:04:06conscious parenting

01:04:08and conscious eating also.

01:04:10It is so important

01:04:12how you eat

01:04:14and how you feed your kids.

01:04:16If you force them to eat

01:04:18there is no benefit.

01:04:20No benefit.

01:04:22Believe me, it is science.

01:04:24If you feed them well

01:04:26even the water they drink

01:04:28has a positive effect.

01:04:30I force my kids

01:04:32to eat curd

01:04:34but they don't eat it.

01:04:36They don't eat anything.

01:04:38I force them to eat white food

01:04:40like cream.

01:04:44I have a phobia

01:04:46that I can't eat white food.

01:04:48I try to diet

01:04:50but I don't know

01:04:52how I got that phobia.

01:04:54You were forced into it.

01:04:56I feel nauseous

01:04:58when I drink white milk

01:05:00or eat white food.

01:05:02I don't know

01:05:04if I have an allergy.

01:05:06It is called childhood trauma.

01:05:08It happened to me.

01:05:10My father was so fond of

01:05:12raw eggs in milk.

01:05:14Eggs were also good

01:05:16so he used to eat it.

01:05:18I had the same reaction.

01:05:20But I eat eggs every day.

01:05:22Why?

01:05:24You eat 4 eggs every morning?

01:05:26Every morning.

01:05:28Everything.

01:05:30It's a complete meal.

01:05:32It's a complete meal.

01:05:34You get full protein in breakfast.

01:05:36I had a topic on eggs.

01:05:38My mother

01:05:40was very particular

01:05:42about eggs.

01:05:44Although

01:05:46I have been trolled a lot on the internet

01:05:48but my mother firmly believed

01:05:50that the height of my daughters

01:05:52will be longer if they eat eggs.

01:05:54Because my parents

01:05:56had an average height.

01:06:00My father had the same.

01:06:02My mother is 5'4".

01:06:04My father was 6'3".

01:06:06He was afraid of us being short.

01:06:08So he used to put raw eggs in milk

01:06:10and give us separate eggs.

01:06:12Tell me one thing.

01:06:14I have seen

01:06:16how I have taken care of their diet.

01:06:18My children are also tall.

01:06:20More than being tall,

01:06:22intelligence increases.

01:06:24Protein is very good for your brain.

01:06:26It has Omega 3, Omega 6, Choline.

01:06:30It's a complete meal.

01:06:32Protein is very important

01:06:34for children's brain development.

01:06:36Protein is important for our muscles.

01:06:38The point is

01:06:40when you teach your children

01:06:42what they should eat

01:06:44and don't force them.

01:06:46Believe it or not,

01:06:48when you cook something

01:06:50with love,

01:06:52it has a very good energy.

01:06:54It is more beneficial for them

01:06:56when they eat it happily.

01:06:58If you force them to eat,

01:07:00they will say,

01:07:02eat it quickly,

01:07:04you won't get this.

01:07:06Don't do this with your children.

01:07:08Don't do this with your children.

01:07:10Don't do this with your children.

01:07:12That is the worst thing you could do

01:07:14to your child.

01:07:16Because when you are eating

01:07:18or drinking it,

01:07:20it has a negative effect.

01:07:22Everyone asks me,

01:07:24how do you stay thin?

01:07:26Because I think thin

01:07:28and I talk to my food.

01:07:30I actually do.

01:07:32If you drink water,

01:07:34pray and drink it.

01:07:36If you eat food,

01:07:38pray and eat it.

01:07:40For this reason only,

01:07:42the way you digest

01:07:44and process it,

01:07:46if you are in a happy mood,

01:07:48people have seen it,

01:07:50science has seen it,

01:07:52your blood changes,

01:07:54your structure changes,

01:07:56it has a positive impact on you.

01:07:58Cook it well,

01:08:00cook it happily

01:08:02and feed it happily

01:08:04so that the child eats it happily.

01:08:06Absolutely.

01:08:08Next slide.

01:08:10Sleeping habit.

01:08:12This is very important.

01:08:14In our country,

01:08:16parents are awake

01:08:18and so are the children.

01:08:20You have to sleep late at night.

01:08:22I am not talking about

01:08:24a certain class.

01:08:26Every class.

01:08:28In a certain class,

01:08:30the children have to go to bed

01:08:32at 7-8 pm.

01:08:34But most of the masses

01:08:36don't let their children sleep.

01:08:38I read a lot of research

01:08:40and I read

01:08:42that a person

01:08:44who is awake will not die.

01:08:46But lack of sleep

01:08:48will make you go crazy.

01:08:50And you can die

01:08:52because of less sleep.

01:08:54Sleeping is very important

01:08:56at the right time

01:08:58for our body and well-being.

01:09:00Especially for the child.

01:09:02My mother was not strict.

01:09:04My father was very strict

01:09:06about this.

01:09:08We used to live outside

01:09:10and there were no servants.

01:09:12But sleeping habits

01:09:14get better.

01:09:16You wake up early

01:09:18and go to bed early.

01:09:20My mother has to work

01:09:22and my father has to get up early.

01:09:24But here,

01:09:26the driver will take the children

01:09:28and I will sleep well.

01:09:30My mother watches

01:09:32Turkish dramas

01:09:34all night long

01:09:36and scolds me

01:09:38to go to bed early.

01:09:40I am teaching my mother

01:09:42and I am very strict with my children

01:09:44that

01:09:46sleep is very important

01:09:48for the development of the child.

01:09:50My children used to sleep at 7 am

01:09:52and now they have to sleep

01:09:54before 9 am.

01:09:56So I wake them up at 6 am

01:09:58and I will wake them up at dawn.

01:10:00That is the best time

01:10:02to wake them up

01:10:04so that they can sleep at 8 am.

01:10:06Your body

01:10:08gets repaired

01:10:10when you are asleep.

01:10:12A child grows when he is asleep.

01:10:14When a child is walking,

01:10:16he is not gaining height.

01:10:18He is doing it

01:10:20when he is sleeping at night.

01:10:22If a child is not getting proper sleep,

01:10:24he will not grow.

01:10:26His body and organs

01:10:28will not function properly.

01:10:30The growth of adults is there

01:10:32but with age,

01:10:34the damage that is happening

01:10:36in our routine,

01:10:38our daily wear,

01:10:40our body copes with it

01:10:42when we sleep.

01:10:44It fights off the problems

01:10:46like infection, disease

01:10:48while you are asleep.

01:10:50Sleep is very important.

01:10:52I do not sleep

01:10:54and I start putting on weight.

01:10:56I start eating more

01:10:58because my brain is asking for energy

01:11:00even though I do not need to eat.

01:11:02Sleep is very important

01:11:04and

01:11:06even I am very particular about it.

01:11:08Vacations or not,

01:11:10after a certain time,

01:11:12I cannot tolerate my daughter staying up.

01:11:14She knows that she has to go to bed.

01:11:16When she is with her father,

01:11:18she takes advantage.

01:11:20But when she is with me,

01:11:22I am very particular

01:11:24because she has grown up.

01:11:26When she is with Ali,

01:11:28I cannot control her.

01:11:30I called her last night

01:11:32and asked her to talk to her kids.

01:11:34Her phones were switched off

01:11:36and she was out with her father at 8.30 am.

01:11:38I told her that

01:11:40this cannot happen when I am there.

01:11:428.30 am?

01:11:44You are early.

01:11:46No, I am not.

01:11:48We are taking a break.

01:11:50We will come back after the break.

01:11:52Good morning.

01:11:58Welcome. Welcome back.

01:12:00Good morning, Pakistan.

01:12:02Today we are discussing

01:12:04what we have learnt from our mothers

01:12:06and what we have learnt from our kids.

01:12:08We have learnt a lot

01:12:10from each other.

01:12:12Now,

01:12:14I will do the same with my kids.

01:12:16I will force them to do it.

01:12:20You have noticed that

01:12:22grandmothers are more lenient.

01:12:24Yes.

01:12:26Maybe we should relax also.

01:12:28We were not like this when we were young.

01:12:30No, no.

01:12:32We have gone through a lot.

01:12:34Now, if we have to do it with our kids,

01:12:36they will say,

01:12:38what are you doing?

01:12:40Why did you say that?

01:12:42Mom, you of all the people are saying this.

01:12:44This is the love of grandmothers.

01:12:46I still have this problem.

01:12:48When I sit,

01:12:50I cannot sit properly.

01:12:52My brother did not have a problem with girls.

01:12:54Whenever my daughter sits on the bed,

01:12:56whenever mom says something,

01:12:58I say, she is a kid.

01:13:00I am also a kid.

01:13:02Why don't you say this?

01:13:04Grandmothers are very lenient.

01:13:06They are not strict.

01:13:08Whose card is this?

01:13:10Mine.

01:13:12I also said this.

01:13:14School competition.

01:13:16In our house,

01:13:18it was very important

01:13:20to come first.

01:13:22First, second,

01:13:24third.

01:13:26After that,

01:13:28anger,

01:13:30crying,

01:13:32washing.

01:13:34I used to feel like,

01:13:36God forgive me,

01:13:38what has happened in the house.

01:13:40I used to think that I should come

01:13:42highest in every test.

01:13:44Every child has

01:13:46their own capacity and potential.

01:13:48I felt that

01:13:50every child does not have to be

01:13:52a top grader.

01:13:54So, I backed off.

01:13:56I said, I will not

01:13:58teach her.

01:14:00I will not do this with her.

01:14:02Because it is a torture for both.

01:14:04It ruins your relationship with your child.

01:14:06I said, I will not do this.

01:14:08I let her be.

01:14:10She was an average student

01:14:12for a very long time.

01:14:14I would say until grade 5.

01:14:16But Nida,

01:14:18she learned to pick herself.

01:14:20Slowly, slowly.

01:14:22Now, when she studies,

01:14:24she studies with her passion.

01:14:26I never told her,

01:14:28after coming back from school,

01:14:30that you have to take bath, eat and do homework.

01:14:32We had a routine.

01:14:34She said, no, I cannot study right now.

01:14:36I have to relax.

01:14:38I have to chill.

01:14:40I will study at night.

01:14:42I told her a few times,

01:14:44you get tired.

01:14:46That is my time, that is when I want to study.

01:14:48I let her be.

01:14:50She performs well.

01:14:52Because that works for her.

01:14:54What is important is that what works for her,

01:14:56does not work for other kids.

01:14:58I am not saying that this is the set formula.

01:15:00But I let her be.

01:15:02To the point where Nida,

01:15:04I had some time.

01:15:06I was at work.

01:15:08She said, give me your details.

01:15:10I said, why?

01:15:12She said, it is a new school.

01:15:14I am filling her application form.

01:15:16She said, if you want to study,

01:15:18you have to pay tuition for a year.

01:15:20I said, you are not even prepared.

01:15:22She said, just let it be.

01:15:24I want to try.

01:15:26I have been preparing for the past year.

01:15:28I want to see where I stand.

01:15:30I gave her my information.

01:15:32She filled her admission form.

01:15:34Again, I was at work.

01:15:36I thought, oh shoot,

01:15:38she had a test today.

01:15:40She saw the test and came.

01:15:42She was with her father.

01:15:44Two months later, she got in.

01:15:46She got her admission.

01:15:48I was shocked.

01:15:50She is independent now.

01:15:52She is responsible now.

01:15:56She knows that

01:15:58I trust her to make sensible decisions.

01:16:00That's so nice.

01:16:02I didn't put any strictness on her.

01:16:04I didn't say,

01:16:06I know her test week is going on.

01:16:08I go to her room.

01:16:10As a mother,

01:16:12I ask her,

01:16:14have I ever disappointed you?

01:16:16Have I ever...

01:16:18Just trust me.

01:16:20By the way, a person studies better than music.

01:16:22That's what she says.

01:16:24I don't get it.

01:16:26Maths and music.

01:16:28My son also says the same thing.

01:16:30He says, I am doing this

01:16:32and I am doing better.

01:16:34I say, shut up.

01:16:36Maths helps.

01:16:38It helps in math and music.

01:16:40For my daughter,

01:16:42there are certain hertz.

01:16:44Frequency.

01:16:46I always use it for Inaya.

01:16:48When she studies.

01:16:50Is it research?

01:16:52No, it's science.

01:16:54Whatever I am saying,

01:16:56it's science.

01:16:58Tell us,

01:17:00are there any vibrations?

01:17:02We are made of

01:17:04energy.

01:17:06Energy has a frequency.

01:17:08Energy moves.

01:17:10When there is a movement,

01:17:12there is a vibration.

01:17:14I will give an example.

01:17:16When a drop of water

01:17:18goes into the water.

01:17:20Into the stone.

01:17:22Those waves

01:17:24are called frequency.

01:17:26Similarly, sound waves are also formed.

01:17:28The one we are talking about

01:17:30also has a frequency.

01:17:32Ours, yours and mine both have a frequency.

01:17:34When God said,

01:17:36the universe is made

01:17:38of the sound frequency.

01:17:40Sound resonance.

01:17:42We also have

01:17:44our own vibration.

01:17:46Every music has a frequency.

01:17:48There are certain hertz.

01:17:50I don't remember on the top of my head.

01:17:52It's the frequency of the earth

01:17:54and the frequency of humans.

01:17:56I think,

01:17:58it's 10.

01:18:00It changes.

01:18:02Certain classical,

01:18:04especially classical music

01:18:06has a frequency

01:18:08that it opens up

01:18:10your neural pathways.

01:18:12You remember things well.

01:18:14Neurons have pathways.

01:18:16In our brain,

01:18:18there is a net

01:18:20of neurons.

01:18:22They give information

01:18:24to each other.

01:18:26They zap.

01:18:28Our thoughts are electrical

01:18:30current.

01:18:32When you listen to music,

01:18:34it changes

01:18:36your vibration

01:18:38and improves it.

01:18:40Our vibration

01:18:42changes according to the sound frequency.

01:18:44Prayer,

01:18:46Namaz, Dua

01:18:48are all frequencies.

01:18:50The recitation is a frequency

01:18:52that changes us.

01:18:54That's why we feel calm

01:18:56when we pray.

01:18:58It brings us back.

01:19:00There are inductors of energy.

01:19:02It's like a radio station.

01:19:04It also has a frequency.

01:19:06It makes a sound.

01:19:08The channel becomes clear.

01:19:10The frequency

01:19:12matches.

01:19:14You can change your frequency.

01:19:16Music can do that to you.

01:19:18Dua can change

01:19:20your frequency.

01:19:22Recitation can change your frequency.

01:19:24Your mind can change your frequency.

01:19:26Your heartbeat

01:19:28can change your frequency.

01:19:30It's a frequency.

01:19:32If you learn music

01:19:34or listen to it,

01:19:36you can study well.

01:19:38That's why we say

01:19:40whatever you say has a frequency.

01:19:42If you speak well,

01:19:44it will be good.

01:19:46You have put that energy in the world.

01:19:48It will come back.

01:19:50The echo

01:19:52will bounce back.

01:19:54It's difficult to explain.

01:19:56It's difficult,

01:19:58but you are trying.

01:20:00Eat good things,

01:20:02think good things,

01:20:04do good things.

01:20:06Everything written in the Quran

01:20:08has a purpose.

01:20:10Science is proving

01:20:12what those things are.

01:20:14Frequency is very important.

01:20:16Thank you so much.

01:20:18It's difficult to

01:20:20explain your mistakes

01:20:22to everyone.

01:20:24Celebrities

01:20:26tell us

01:20:28what they have

01:20:30gone through.

01:20:32It's a big thing.

01:20:34People learn a lot from it.

01:20:36I have learned a lot

01:20:38from you.

01:20:40I have not done it.

01:20:42Let's do it on kids.

01:20:46Thank you so much.

01:20:48Good morning Pakistan.

01:20:50See you tomorrow.

01:20:52God bless.

01:21:22Music

01:21:24Music

01:21:26Music

01:21:28Music

01:21:30Music

01:21:32Music

01:21:34Music

01:21:36Music

01:21:38Music

01:21:40Music

01:21:42Music

Good Morning Pakistan | Maa Se Seekha, Maa Ban Ke Aazmaya | 7 November 2024 | ARY Digital

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