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Transcript
00:00:00This morning has come, kissing your cheeks
00:00:12Swinging like the wind, going round and round
00:00:21This morning has come, smiling like this
00:00:31Root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu
00:00:36She is humming like this, she is waking everyone up
00:00:40Yes, in the flowery garden, the birds are chirping
00:00:50She is in the open, open, open, open
00:00:55She is a little mischievous, she is in mischief
00:01:00This morning has come
00:01:07Root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu
00:01:13She is in the open, open, open, open
00:01:17Assalam-o-Alaikum, good morning, good morning Pakistan
00:01:22How are you all? And how is your life?
00:01:26Our life is going well, we have settled down a little
00:01:31And when you go to a new house or a new area
00:01:36Or your setup changes, there is a change in the house
00:01:40Or any work is happening in the house
00:01:44After that, it takes time to settle
00:01:47And today I feel that we have settled a little
00:01:51Or if you still feel that there is a need to do something
00:01:55If there is a need to change something on our set
00:01:57Then please do share it as a family
00:02:00Today we are discussing a very important topic
00:02:05I discuss important topics every day
00:02:07I don't talk about such things anymore
00:02:10And today's topic is
00:02:12What did we learn from our mother?
00:02:14And what did we try as a mother?
00:02:17Actually, the first class of a child
00:02:21Is the mother's lap
00:02:23This is not a new thing, it is an old thing
00:02:26And it is like that
00:02:28There are a lot of sentences like
00:02:30If you want to look at your daughter, look at your mother
00:02:33If you think as a daughter that my mother is very strict
00:02:38My mother is very disciplined
00:02:40I can't be like my mother
00:02:42My mother is very straightforward
00:02:44My mother is very hardworking
00:02:46You don't even realize
00:02:48That with time, you start becoming like your mother
00:02:53As time goes by
00:02:56Sometimes I remember my mother's screams
00:03:00And panic in my mind
00:03:02Sometimes we used to say
00:03:04Mom, why are you screaming so much?
00:03:06Why are you creating panic?
00:03:07It will happen
00:03:08The same thing is slowly coming inside me
00:03:11It is coming
00:03:12And sometimes I stop
00:03:14Sometimes I stop
00:03:15I think
00:03:16When I look at myself in the mirror
00:03:18I have become like my mother
00:03:20And at that age
00:03:22I used to think it will happen
00:03:24We used to drag things
00:03:26We used to leave things
00:03:28But now it doesn't happen
00:03:30Because those things were slowly coming in
00:03:33The way my mother was being seen
00:03:36I have picked a lot of qualities from my mother
00:03:40I don't know
00:03:42Maybe those qualities are bad in people's eyes
00:03:45But you find all the qualities of your mother
00:03:49And you pick those
00:03:51So today, our celebrities
00:03:53Through this show
00:03:55Will tell us
00:03:56What did they learn from their mother?
00:03:58And what did they apply on their children?
00:04:02Or they couldn't apply on them
00:04:04There are a lot of children
00:04:07For example, I was a naughty girl
00:04:09My mother used to tell me
00:04:10And I didn't eat or drink
00:04:12She used to trouble me
00:04:13But my first child wasn't naughty
00:04:15She didn't trouble me that much
00:04:17So it depends
00:04:18There are a lot of things
00:04:19We learn from our mother
00:04:20But we don't get a chance to try
00:04:22Or we say that it was an old thing
00:04:25Let's make it new
00:04:27But still
00:04:28There are a lot of things told by our mother
00:04:31In your life
00:04:33Sometimes you remember
00:04:35And you say
00:04:36This is the right place
00:04:38To apply what your mother said
00:04:42Do you know what is the success of life?
00:04:44We know a lot of things
00:04:46But the timing
00:04:48What to say at what time
00:04:50And what to apply at what time
00:04:54This life is like a puzzle
00:04:56If you apply the right techniques in the right puzzles
00:05:00Then your life will be very successful
00:05:02And the definition of success for everyone is different
00:05:08Some people say
00:05:10Their family is complete
00:05:11Their children are on their feet
00:05:13Some people say
00:05:15They have earned a certain amount in life
00:05:18Some people have got that name
00:05:20Some people have reached where they wanted to reach
00:05:24Some people have earned money
00:05:26Earned name
00:05:27Earned love
00:05:28Earned love
00:05:30If you see
00:05:32The definition of success is different for everyone
00:05:35What is the definition of your success?
00:05:38And what did you learn from your mother?
00:05:41What did you apply on your children?
00:05:43Let's talk about it today
00:05:44Good morning Pakistan
00:05:45Stay with us after the break
00:05:55Welcome, welcome back
00:05:57Good morning Pakistan
00:05:58We have some mothers with us today
00:06:00Like our celebrity guest
00:06:02They are mothers
00:06:03Who are very conscious of their children
00:06:06Whether it is education or their physical appearance
00:06:10In the sense
00:06:11Eating and drinking
00:06:12Their nutrition actually
00:06:14So
00:06:15You can guess by talking
00:06:17And I think
00:06:18In today's program
00:06:20If you don't get 10 to 15 tips
00:06:24Then change my name
00:06:26That's why today's program is set
00:06:28The topic is
00:06:29What did we learn from our mother?
00:06:31And what did we test on our children?
00:06:33Let's welcome the first mother
00:06:34Today I am going to introduce her as a mother
00:06:37The first mother
00:06:38Whether she is a model
00:06:39Whether she is an actress
00:06:40Whether she is a business woman
00:06:43But above all
00:06:45She is a very loving mother
00:06:46Because I have seen her children
00:06:48Since they were in the womb
00:06:50Till they grew up
00:06:52And their hard work
00:06:54Can be seen in their children
00:06:56Let's welcome our lovely
00:06:58Vaneeza Ahmed
00:07:02Open it
00:07:06Hello
00:07:11Very good
00:07:12You are looking very beautiful
00:07:14But your set is looking so beautiful
00:07:16Thank you
00:07:18Come in
00:07:20I love it Nida
00:07:21You like it?
00:07:22I love it
00:07:23In the morning
00:07:24So many flowers
00:07:25I love it
00:07:26People will think she is in the garden
00:07:28Exactly
00:07:29Like I told you
00:07:30I sit in my garden every morning
00:07:32But this is beautiful
00:07:34Very nice
00:07:35I love the colours
00:07:36If you could praise the good people
00:07:38I wouldn't get fat
00:07:40I wouldn't get fat
00:07:42No, you won't get fat
00:07:44Because
00:07:46The previous set was also very good
00:07:48Colours were really nice
00:07:50But now
00:07:51The change is the exact opposite
00:07:53Of what it used to be
00:07:55Very feminine
00:07:57Yes
00:07:58It was a little experimental
00:08:00Everyone wants change
00:08:02Especially in their home
00:08:04So we have experimented
00:08:06With a dark wall
00:08:08And the furniture should be light
00:08:10Let's see the result
00:08:12Come in
00:08:13So my next
00:08:15Celebrity mother
00:08:17Obviously
00:08:19I wanted a mother
00:08:21Of every size
00:08:23So this mother
00:08:25Raised her daughter
00:08:27Single handed
00:08:29I would like to credit her
00:08:31It is very difficult
00:08:33But here you will get
00:08:35Very genuine tips
00:08:37So let's welcome
00:08:39Sharmeen Ali
00:08:50How are you?
00:08:52I can't get over this set
00:08:54Oh Haseen
00:08:56I feel like
00:08:58I have entered
00:09:00A Victorian era
00:09:02I am just literally tongue tied
00:09:04When I entered
00:09:06I could not believe my eyes
00:09:08You guys have done a wonderful job
00:09:10Thanks to our set department
00:09:12Absolutely
00:09:14Everyone's input
00:09:16Comes from the team
00:09:19But this is something
00:09:21Out of a story book
00:09:23Beautiful
00:09:25We will tell you a story
00:09:27A real story
00:09:29Please have a seat
00:09:31So the tips
00:09:33To raise a small baby
00:09:35In today's world
00:09:37We need help
00:09:39From today's mothers
00:09:41Who have seen this world
00:09:43From their mothers
00:09:45What did they learn
00:09:47Let's meet
00:09:49Our young mother
00:09:51Maham
00:10:01How are you?
00:10:03Haseen, you have made a set
00:10:05I don't think
00:10:07We can talk about it
00:10:09You changed the topic
00:10:11Let's just talk about your set
00:10:13It looks beautiful
00:10:15It looks like a cherry
00:10:17Blossom in Japan
00:10:19It looks beautiful
00:10:21And you look very nice
00:10:23Thank you
00:10:25It happens automatically
00:10:27Our women
00:10:29What do they like
00:10:31Home
00:10:33If you ask a woman
00:10:35She will say
00:10:37I want to have a home
00:10:39What is my life's wish
00:10:41I want to have a home
00:10:43Nowadays
00:10:45There is a lot of money
00:10:47To dye your hair
00:10:49You are right
00:10:51For a woman
00:10:53Her sanctuary
00:10:55Is her home
00:10:57I have learned this
00:10:59From my mother
00:11:01Where two money are connected
00:11:03It is at home
00:11:05I am so glad
00:11:07When you change the set
00:11:09It is a way to inspire
00:11:11Ideas are picked from here
00:11:13They are going to apply at home
00:11:15This is wonderful
00:11:17Whenever you want to take photos
00:11:19Come over to your set
00:11:21There is an instant moment
00:11:23In every corner
00:11:25I know
00:11:27Please invite me
00:11:29I will give you ideas
00:11:31We will ask our cameraman
00:11:33To change the color of the photos
00:11:35To a vintage theme
00:11:37It will have an impact
00:11:39We can't get over your set
00:11:41Very nice
00:11:43Beautiful
00:11:45When you meet your friends
00:11:47You get appreciation
00:11:49It is fun
00:11:51Let's move ahead
00:11:53What did you learn from your mother
00:11:55And what did you apply on your kids
00:11:57Let's start
00:11:59I have met your mother
00:12:01Your mother is a strong
00:12:03When I see her
00:12:05She looks like a strong lady
00:12:07When you were young
00:12:09What was her personality
00:12:11You can tell us
00:12:13She wasn't that strong
00:12:15Because we didn't live in Pakistan
00:12:17We lived abroad
00:12:19You know
00:12:21Her personality
00:12:23At that time
00:12:25My mother and I
00:12:27Were only 16 and a half
00:12:29She was younger
00:12:31I was born
00:12:33She is more like a sister
00:12:35I grew up with her
00:12:37I think you taught her
00:12:39Yes
00:12:41Sometimes
00:12:43I think
00:12:45When our daughters get married
00:12:47They are 16-17 years old
00:12:49Now they are 20-22
00:12:51They don't know how to raise their kids
00:12:53I was an old mother
00:12:55At the age of 40
00:12:57Compared to my mother
00:12:59At the age of 40
00:13:01I knew a lot more than my mother
00:13:03But a 17 year old girl
00:13:05Didn't know how to raise her kids
00:13:07She didn't know
00:13:09So her teaching
00:13:11Was by default
00:13:13She was alone
00:13:15When she was young
00:13:17We went abroad
00:13:19When I was 6
00:13:21Her grandmother
00:13:23Didn't teach her anything
00:13:25When you were abroad
00:13:27You didn't get help from your family
00:13:29When you got sick
00:13:31She didn't do anything
00:13:35She was alone
00:13:37Taking care of three children
00:13:39I taught her a lot
00:13:45She is still doing it
00:13:47She wakes up at night
00:13:49To watch her vlogs
00:13:51She gives me a lecture
00:13:53As if I'm her mother
00:13:55I tell her
00:13:57How important sleep is
00:13:59How important sleep is, how important food is, that's why I've become their mother now.
00:14:03It happens, doesn't it?
00:14:05It happens. At a certain time, we become the mothers of our mothers.
00:14:08You don't take your medicines, you don't go to the doctor for check-ups.
00:14:12And we get scolded a lot.
00:14:13Because Nida, at the end of the day, this is the problem with all of us.
00:14:17When we become mothers, we don't think about ourselves.
00:14:22We think about our children, our family. We take ourselves last.
00:14:27I would like to talk about this today.
00:14:29How important it is for mothers to take care of themselves.
00:14:33Prioritise yourself.
00:14:35If they don't prioritise themselves, how will they take care of their children?
00:14:37Like I did. When my children were born, I stopped thinking about myself and taking care of myself.
00:14:43It is very important that if a mother takes care of herself, she can teach her children the right things.
00:14:48Because children learn from you.
00:14:50How you are.
00:14:52You know, they see that.
00:14:53If they set an example, then the children will follow it.
00:14:56I think my mother taught me a lot about these things.
00:15:00Because she was alone, there was no one to help her.
00:15:03So, a little bit of discipline came from my mother.
00:15:09The basic things that came in nature came from my mother.
00:15:12The everyday things may be my own, but the things in nature...
00:15:17Okay, if we conclude that you picked discipline from your mother, then?
00:15:23And...
00:15:25The handling of things.
00:15:27To take hardship.
00:15:29And to convert it into something positive.
00:15:34So, this happened in our life.
00:15:36First my father's death, then my sister's.
00:15:38I saw my mother, how strong she became.
00:15:41So, I think the strength that I have is from my mother.
00:15:45From your mother. Exactly.
00:15:47So, let's go to you now, Shamim.
00:15:50First, I just want to ask, what did you learn from your mother?
00:15:53Then I will come to the kids.
00:15:55So, like your mother,
00:15:57the way you discuss,
00:15:59I think,
00:16:01she takes care of herself.
00:16:03She has always been in the kit,
00:16:05but she is also a strong woman.
00:16:07Very strong.
00:16:09Mashallah, Mashallah, my mother is a very strong woman.
00:16:13To the point where I would say that we have been together for 5 months, Mashallah.
00:16:15And I don't think that the strength that my mother has,
00:16:19is the same strength that we have in anyone.
00:16:21Because my father used to live abroad,
00:16:23for business, for job purposes.
00:16:25So, my mother raised 5 daughters here,
00:16:27almost all alone.
00:16:29Which was not an easy task.
00:16:315 daughters of all ages.
00:16:33My elder sister and I are 19 years apart.
00:16:35So, you can imagine,
00:16:37she had daughters of all ages at home.
00:16:39And the times were such,
00:16:41at that time,
00:16:43that they used to raise the girls very well.
00:16:47So, my mother has worked very hard.
00:16:49And single-handedly,
00:16:51what I have learnt from my mother,
00:16:53my mother has taught me that
00:16:55a woman can do everything herself.
00:16:57Absolutely.
00:16:59A woman does not need a man.
00:17:01That is what I have learnt from my mother.
00:17:03Because I have seen my mother working as a mechanic.
00:17:05I have seen my mother cutting groceries.
00:17:07Obviously, your father was not even there.
00:17:09My mother has cooked food.
00:17:11She was an amazing homemaker.
00:17:13The way my mother kept the house,
00:17:15and I have learnt a lot from my mother.
00:17:17Because at that time,
00:17:19there were 5 daughters and they had to get married.
00:17:21So, my mother,
00:17:23from the first day of her life,
00:17:25she spent very sensibly.
00:17:27Because my mother had to
00:17:29settle her 5 daughters in her house.
00:17:31So, this is what I have learnt from my mother,
00:17:33that even with less money,
00:17:35you can have
00:17:37a very well-maintained lifestyle.
00:17:39So,
00:17:41living a good life with less money,
00:17:43the art of living a good life,
00:17:45I have learnt from my mother.
00:17:47Amazing.
00:17:49And Maham,
00:17:51let's come to your mother.
00:17:53I think,
00:17:55I am becoming kind of a reflection now.
00:17:57Because the things I used to see in my childhood,
00:17:59I used to say,
00:18:01what is the need of this? What is the need of that?
00:18:03I started to do the same things.
00:18:05But that topic later,
00:18:07if we talk about a strong woman,
00:18:09or if people say that you have a very strong personality,
00:18:11I think, I got it
00:18:13and it has been passed on to me from my mother.
00:18:15Because I have always seen her doing exactly
00:18:17how Sharmeen said,
00:18:19my mother is going to a mechanic,
00:18:21she is also looking after the household chores,
00:18:23she is also looking after my brother.
00:18:25She has a very strong personality.
00:18:27Because I was very young when my father fell sick.
00:18:29So, even at that time,
00:18:31my mother was father and mother both at that point.
00:18:33Because my father was very sick,
00:18:35so my mother was also looking after him.
00:18:37But at the same time,
00:18:39she was also looking after both of us.
00:18:41And at the same time,
00:18:43I have seen her doing so many big things in life.
00:18:45And I have always seen her,
00:18:47obviously she is a human being,
00:18:49she feels for a time being,
00:18:51that this can't happen, what is next?
00:18:53But I have always seen her,
00:18:55we see very cute pictures and quotes,
00:18:57that there is a mama duck sitting with
00:18:59small ducklings holding her.
00:19:01My mother has kept me and my brother exactly the same.
00:19:03And she has passed on that thing to us,
00:19:05that how to see everything,
00:19:07how to be strong,
00:19:09how to talk to people,
00:19:11how to get up,
00:19:13how to sit, everything.
00:19:15My mother has always taught me,
00:19:17that you don't have to suppress anyone.
00:19:19If you have a point,
00:19:21then keep it.
00:19:23You don't have to be rude to somebody,
00:19:25but you have to come across very strong,
00:19:27so that people know,
00:19:29that she has her own individual personality.
00:19:31I got that thing from my mother.
00:19:33Now see, the common woman,
00:19:35strength or strong woman,
00:19:37a lot of people don't understand.
00:19:39They think she is rude,
00:19:41rude or something.
00:19:43There are a lot of such women.
00:19:45So the definition of strong,
00:19:47is different in everyone's life.
00:19:49So if I ask you,
00:19:51what is a strong woman,
00:19:53a strong mother?
00:19:55What do you think?
00:19:57I think, in my eyes,
00:19:59my mother's personality,
00:20:01strength comes,
00:20:03when you believe in your,
00:20:05you know,
00:20:07every woman has a sixth sense,
00:20:09especially a mother.
00:20:11Because the energy,
00:20:13when you believe in that,
00:20:15when it comes from God,
00:20:17I think that is the strength,
00:20:19that you believe in.
00:20:21I don't know how to explain,
00:20:23in Urdu,
00:20:25when you believe in.
00:20:27We will come after the break,
00:20:29and we will think about it,
00:20:31and we will translate it in Urdu.
00:20:33What is a strong woman,
00:20:35a strong mother?
00:20:37We will come after the break.
00:20:39Good morning.
00:20:45Welcome, welcome back.
00:20:47Good morning Pakistan.
00:20:49Today we have a very interesting topic.
00:20:51I have done such topics before,
00:20:53but I don't know why,
00:20:55every time I feel,
00:20:57that sometimes,
00:20:59it becomes very important.
00:21:01So we were talking about,
00:21:03what are strong mothers?
00:21:05A strong woman,
00:21:07who speaks for her rights,
00:21:09who is not rude,
00:21:11but if she has a point of view,
00:21:13then don't suppress it,
00:21:15but present it in a way,
00:21:17with respect.
00:21:19Let me tell you,
00:21:21what I call my mother strong,
00:21:23I have seen my mother,
00:21:25that everyone has ups and downs in life,
00:21:27there are ups and downs,
00:21:29but I have never seen my mother,
00:21:31breaking down.
00:21:33She always stayed collected,
00:21:35because she knew,
00:21:37that she has 5 daughters,
00:21:39she has to take care of her daughters,
00:21:41and I would say,
00:21:43to some extent,
00:21:45she has to take care of her father,
00:21:47he is her strength.
00:21:49And this is what they say,
00:21:51behind every successful man,
00:21:53there is a woman.
00:21:55My mother has given me this power,
00:21:57that she has made a man stronger,
00:21:59physically,
00:22:01but emotionally,
00:22:03she has made a woman stronger.
00:22:05So I have seen my mother,
00:22:07coming out of hardships,
00:22:09very sensibly,
00:22:11very calmly and collected.
00:22:13Yes, she is short tempered,
00:22:15and over the time,
00:22:17her temper has deteriorated,
00:22:19because obviously,
00:22:21a person gets tired,
00:22:23but still,
00:22:25I have never seen,
00:22:27that my mother had a problem,
00:22:29and she said,
00:22:31what should I do now?
00:22:33I can't survive this.
00:22:35And this thing,
00:22:37has come in us.
00:22:39I have adopted this thing,
00:22:41that I used to think,
00:22:43that I am very weak,
00:22:45my mother's personality is polar opposite.
00:22:47Mother is a very strong,
00:22:49outspoken woman,
00:22:51and my mother's personality was opposite,
00:22:53that until I started acting,
00:22:55I couldn't even go to the market alone.
00:22:57But when I read Nida,
00:22:59and when such a turn of life came,
00:23:01then it was not difficult for me,
00:23:03to take my stand,
00:23:05because I grew up seeing this.
00:23:07And you don't even know,
00:23:09that it becomes a passion in you.
00:23:11As you have been asked,
00:23:13what did you learn,
00:23:15and what did you apply on your children,
00:23:17so we have planned it,
00:23:19so that we can conclude,
00:23:21and tell you everything.
00:23:23So, who is the first card?
00:23:25Bravery.
00:23:27You told us about bravery,
00:23:29learn from your mother.
00:23:31Did you apply bravery on your children too?
00:23:33Do you think your daughter is as brave as you?
00:23:35One is,
00:23:37and the other is not.
00:23:39And I tell every woman,
00:23:41that every one of us,
00:23:43has the strength,
00:23:45that we are talking about.
00:23:47We don't even know.
00:23:49The women who think,
00:23:51that we are weak,
00:23:53you are not weak,
00:23:55Allah has not made you weak,
00:23:57especially if he has made you a mother.
00:23:59The strength that we are talking about,
00:24:01comes naturally to you,
00:24:03when Allah chooses you,
00:24:05to become a mother.
00:24:07That is why, as Sharmeen said,
00:24:09emotional strength is more important
00:24:11than a man in a woman.
00:24:13And unfortunately,
00:24:15we consider a man's strength,
00:24:17as our weakness.
00:24:19It is not our weakness,
00:24:21it is our power,
00:24:23our emotional regulation.
00:24:25And in today's world,
00:24:27we have to teach our daughters too.
00:24:29What I am teaching,
00:24:31which I didn't learn from my mother,
00:24:33I learned from Google.
00:24:35I like that.
00:24:37In our mothers' time,
00:24:39the way of living was totally different.
00:24:41The internet is a very far thing.
00:24:43In the olden days,
00:24:45we used to learn from our grandmothers,
00:24:47from the joint family system.
00:24:49Grandmother said something,
00:24:51mother said something.
00:24:53Now, we live independently.
00:24:55So, how can you learn independently
00:24:57from your mother?
00:24:59So, you learn from Google.
00:25:01And from Google,
00:25:03you get the benefit
00:25:05that you have certified doctors,
00:25:07whose work is that
00:25:09not every mother can be a psychologist,
00:25:11that you have to find
00:25:13your inner strength.
00:25:15Allah has given you that strength.
00:25:17It is in everyone.
00:25:19And,
00:25:21believe in Allah.
00:25:23This is what I learned from my mother.
00:25:25I think, women understand
00:25:27when, like you said,
00:25:29my mother was not strong with time.
00:25:31She was.
00:25:33She was stronger than before,
00:25:35but she got to know later.
00:25:37She got to know later,
00:25:39but she had to face it.
00:25:41My mother used to say,
00:25:43I used to think,
00:25:45I am very weak,
00:25:47my mother is very strong.
00:25:49So, she used to say,
00:25:51I have taught you,
00:25:53and when the time comes,
00:25:55you will survive.
00:25:57I know this.
00:25:59And,
00:26:01she was not running after me
00:26:03when I was not eating.
00:26:05She said,
00:26:07my child is not eating.
00:26:09My child has a cough,
00:26:11a cold, he is sick.
00:26:13Yes, there are problems.
00:26:15But, with time,
00:26:17for example,
00:26:19my child had fever,
00:26:21and I had to take him to the hospital.
00:26:23Because, we cannot
00:26:25self-medicate all the time.
00:26:27So, going to the hospital is not a bad thing.
00:26:29You can do everything yourself,
00:26:31it is better than doing it wrong.
00:26:33In many homes, it is understood,
00:26:35I will say one more thing,
00:26:37I have often seen mothers
00:26:39not taking the decision themselves.
00:26:41Can we take the child to the hospital?
00:26:43If my husband comes, he will tell me.
00:26:45If someone older comes, he will tell me.
00:26:47Although, it is not a big deal.
00:26:49You are the mother, you know what is needed.
00:26:51You know better.
00:26:53It is the same thing,
00:26:55you should have this confidence
00:26:57and this bravery,
00:26:59that you can actually stand up for your child,
00:27:01and say, my child is really sick,
00:27:03it doesn't matter who is there or not.
00:27:05Maybe, the way grandmothers
00:27:07and grandmothers handled it,
00:27:09was different, because the times were different.
00:27:11Like they said, you should have confidence,
00:27:13he is your child,
00:27:15you know your child better.
00:27:17Yes, don't self-medicate,
00:27:19but you can understand
00:27:21what your child is doing.
00:27:23That's what I am saying.
00:27:25I didn't learn it from my mother,
00:27:27I learned it from Google.
00:27:29To trust myself.
00:27:31You have to use a lot of things.
00:27:33A lot of things are from the past,
00:27:35a lot of things are from the present.
00:27:37And if you want to live a sensible life,
00:27:39you have to filter those things,
00:27:41that it applies to my child.
00:27:43It is not necessary that
00:27:45whatever applies to me,
00:27:47I will apply it to my child.
00:27:49Earlier, women didn't have confidence,
00:27:51we didn't know
00:27:53what is better or not.
00:27:55Now, because of the internet,
00:27:57you know everything.
00:27:59If you want to do anything,
00:28:01ask and do it.
00:28:03Earlier, they said,
00:28:05without thinking,
00:28:07you gave the responsibility of the child
00:28:09to someone else.
00:28:11You need to be aware
00:28:13of what you are doing,
00:28:15when you are becoming a mother.
00:28:17It should be a conscious decision
00:28:19to become a mother,
00:28:21not because you have to tick
00:28:23that you are married,
00:28:25you have a son,
00:28:27because we think that
00:28:29, you will grow up on your own.
00:28:31The consciousness parenting
00:28:33is very important,
00:28:35you should think and do everything
00:28:37for your baby.
00:28:39But because you are so young,
00:28:41when you have kids,
00:28:43they don't think,
00:28:45things happen on their own.
00:28:47So, sometimes go with the flow,
00:28:49don't take so much stress.
00:28:51Now, let's go to the next card.
00:28:53Investigation.
00:29:25And if we talk to our kids today, they will say, this is very wrong in our privacy.
00:29:34Boundaries, please.
00:29:36Please, what is this?
00:29:38We didn't get much permission to go out, but if we had to go somewhere,
00:29:44then mom used to make sure that whoever is going, talk to their mom.
00:29:49Discuss the whole plan with their mom that the kids will sit at your house.
00:29:53I will drop you at this time, I will pick you at this time.
00:29:56Don't go out anywhere, don't let the kid talk to anyone on the phone.
00:30:00My mother was very very strict.
00:30:02A little more strict than necessary.
00:30:04But I have this habit too.
00:30:07Obviously, because the times have changed.
00:30:09I can't do everything that my mom used to do.
00:30:12Because these days my daughter is 13 years old, she is not going to tolerate it.
00:30:16But I do make sure that whoever is going, I talk to their mom.
00:30:21I make sure that the house where she has gone, she is there.
00:30:24There is no other plan from there, she shouldn't go out.
00:30:27Because see, it's not about trusting your child.
00:30:29It's about the situation, current situation we are living in.
00:30:32The situation is really very bad.
00:30:34Your kids go out of the house and go to a restaurant.
00:30:37God forbid, there is an emergency, there is a mishap.
00:30:40How will you keep tracking the kids all the time?
00:30:43Never use the phone.
00:30:44As you are saying, I really liked what my mom said.
00:30:47After a certain age, she kept investigating and keeping an eye on us.
00:30:51Whether it was by picking up the phone or at night.
00:30:53Nowhere.
00:30:54There is no permission to stay at a cousin's house.
00:30:56You have to stay during the day, you have to do it during the day.
00:30:58So she made some policies.
00:31:02But after a certain time, she became very liberal.
00:31:06Really?
00:31:07Yes.
00:31:08Like we used to go to another city for shoots.
00:31:11When I started working, we used to go to another city.
00:31:16My mom didn't go with me.
00:31:18She knew that I had become a chicken.
00:31:23I used to get very irritated.
00:31:27What is this?
00:31:28I can't go out anywhere.
00:31:29Mom and dad both.
00:31:30And if they get permission with difficulty.
00:31:31When it was new, all the friends will go.
00:31:34Someone's birthday or something.
00:31:36To have anything.
00:31:37As good as a pizza.
00:31:38Exactly.
00:31:39Dad used to say, okay, go.
00:31:40No problem.
00:31:41But they used to make sure that after dropping, mom and dad also sit at some other table and eat.
00:31:46What is this?
00:31:47This is my privacy.
00:31:48I have my friends.
00:31:49I used to get so irritated.
00:31:50But now I understand that when I grew up, everything changed a lot.
00:31:55I think it was very important to make that base.
00:31:58Exactly.
00:31:59I was going to say that.
00:32:00It was very important.
00:32:01At that time, things were not understood.
00:32:02But as a parent, now I understand that if my daughter is 2.5 years old or 3 years old,
00:32:07I still think that she will go to school.
00:32:09So how do I do this?
00:32:10It will be here.
00:32:11I see my friends who have children.
00:32:12How do they deal with their children?
00:32:14They have exactly the same thing that happened to us in childhood.
00:32:17Mothers are watching.
00:32:18Okay, don't go to the terrace for so long.
00:32:19Stand there.
00:32:20What do you have to do there?
00:32:21Who do you have to talk to at night?
00:32:22Mobile phones were found so late.
00:32:24That too because the center is far away.
00:32:26So that's why you need a mobile phone.
00:32:27Apart from that, there was no permission.
00:32:29So I think it was very important.
00:32:30And with this, I explained one thing to my husband too.
00:32:34At a certain time.
00:32:36If a mother puts some restrictions on her daughter, then it doesn't feel bad.
00:32:42If a father has something, then he should tell his mother.
00:32:45He should not keep his relationship with his daughter like this.
00:32:48What are you doing?
00:32:49Wear a dupatta.
00:32:50Do this, do that.
00:32:51Because then it becomes bitter.
00:32:52Exactly.
00:32:53If he is missing something, he is a father.
00:32:55He has a right.
00:32:56And parenting should be from both sides.
00:32:59But if I had explained this to my husband,
00:33:01I said if you feel anything, then don't say it directly.
00:33:05Tell me.
00:33:06Your relationship should be so good.
00:33:09It should be so good.
00:33:11That it will shine in his personality.
00:33:15Do you know Nida?
00:33:16I'm sorry.
00:33:17You said in the beginning that I did it single-handedly.
00:33:20I would like to correct you that I didn't do it single-handedly.
00:33:23My daughter has an amazing father.
00:33:26He is a hands-on father.
00:33:28Okay.
00:33:29But this is very good in him.
00:33:31Although he is of a conservative mindset,
00:33:34but if he doesn't like something,
00:33:37if it's not sitting well with him,
00:33:40he calls me and says,
00:33:42whatever she is doing, explain it to her.
00:33:44Or you see, it's your decision.
00:33:46Or if the daughter, because the father is more lenient,
00:33:49the mother is strict,
00:33:50then she tries to get permission from the father.
00:33:52So his answer is, ask your mother.
00:33:55Same here.
00:33:56Ask your mother.
00:33:57Thank God, we don't have a conflict.
00:34:00So in co-parenting, it's very easy.
00:34:03If both the parents are on the same page.
00:34:05So I'm very lucky that way.
00:34:07He's been a wonderful father to her.
00:34:09Alhamdulillah.
00:34:11This is very important.
00:34:13Next.
00:34:14Hygiene.
00:34:15Hygiene.
00:34:17Yes.
00:34:18I think this is something that everyone should have.
00:34:21Everyone should have this.
00:34:23No one has this.
00:34:24No one has this.
00:34:25No one has this.
00:34:26Yes, you're right.
00:34:27Some people have this.
00:34:28My mother has taught me this since childhood.
00:34:31Whether it's cold or snowy,
00:34:34whether it's hot,
00:34:35even if you have to sit clean five times a day,
00:34:37my mother used to say, no.
00:34:38You have to change.
00:34:39You have to sit here.
00:34:41I have this bad habit.
00:34:43I don't know if it's bad.
00:34:44People get irritated.
00:34:45If you sit barefoot or come from outside,
00:34:47your feet will be washed first.
00:34:49Your hands, feet, mouth will be washed here and there.
00:34:51Even if I haven't taken a shower.
00:34:53I just got home.
00:34:54I don't do anything.
00:34:55It's a habit.
00:34:56I passed it on to my daughter.
00:34:57It's important.
00:34:58She's almost three years old.
00:35:00She has this habit.
00:35:01It's very important.
00:35:02I had this bad habit of roaming around barefoot.
00:35:05I didn't wear shoes.
00:35:06It was a carpeted house.
00:35:08My mother used to follow me.
00:35:09After that, my mother started scaring me.
00:35:11She said, your feet will grow.
00:35:12I said, if I grow this much,
00:35:13my feet will grow as well.
00:35:16My daughter does exactly the same.
00:35:18Barefoot, barefoot.
00:35:19I tell her, look, my feet will grow.
00:35:20Your feet will turn like me.
00:35:21She gets scared and wears shoes.
00:35:23There's nothing wrong with your feet.
00:35:24Even my feet are big.
00:35:25No, no, not in that way.
00:35:26Of course not.
00:35:27It's a good thing to walk barefoot.
00:35:28I told her, I have this problem.
00:35:31Sitting on the bed.
00:35:32She's absolutely right.
00:35:33If you walk barefoot at a young age,
00:35:36your feet will grow.
00:35:38Really?
00:35:39My mother told me the same.
00:35:41I still live with that fear.
00:35:42Okay.
00:35:43I still live with that fear.
00:35:44Because it's a normal size.
00:35:467, 8.
00:35:47It's a normal size.
00:35:48Okay.
00:35:49Now that you're talking about it,
00:35:51I didn't learn this from my mother.
00:35:53Because this happened to us.
00:35:54We were tall.
00:35:55Yes.
00:35:56So my father,
00:35:57my brother is 6'3".
00:35:58My mother is 5'8".
00:36:00So my father had this fear that
00:36:04our feet will grow.
00:36:05That's why.
00:36:06I was so used to wearing sneakers
00:36:09that I always wore sneakers.
00:36:11Now my daughters,
00:36:13Mashallah, are quite tall.
00:36:15They are 12 years old and
00:36:18Her father and mother are tall.
00:36:20Exactly. She's 5'7".
00:36:21And her shoes are 9".
00:36:24Which is taller than me.
00:36:26So I didn't do what my parents
00:36:29used to torture me.
00:36:30They used to make you wear small shoes.
00:36:31Yes. They didn't let me wear big shoes.
00:36:32Really?
00:36:33They used to tell me to wear small shoes.
00:36:34My feet had to be small.
00:36:35So I got used to wearing tight shoes.
00:36:37Wait a minute.
00:36:38They will get good shoes in the sale.
00:36:40They will get good shoes in the sale.
00:36:41But now they have such big feet.
00:36:439 years old.
00:36:44See, this is true.
00:36:469 years old.
00:36:47Let's come back after the break.
00:36:49Then we will discuss it again.
00:36:51Good morning, Pakistan.
00:36:58Welcome. Welcome back.
00:36:59Good morning, Pakistan.
00:37:00So today we are discussing
00:37:02what we learned from our mother
00:37:04and what we apply on our children.
00:37:06Do we apply it or not?
00:37:08You will know those things today.
00:37:10Did you tell them?
00:37:11We were talking about hygiene.
00:37:13We were talking about bathing, washing and cleaning.
00:37:15Sometimes my husband tells me
00:37:17that I will scratch my child.
00:37:19After bathing.
00:37:21But I think it is necessary.
00:37:23I can't tolerate it.
00:37:24It is not necessary.
00:37:25For God's sake.
00:37:26I don't know.
00:37:27Before going to sleep at night,
00:37:29it should be a clean outfit to go to bed.
00:37:31Doctor told me that I did this
00:37:33with my child.
00:37:35And she has got eczema.
00:37:37Oh lord.
00:37:38Doctor told me that
00:37:40there are natural microbes on our skin
00:37:42which are necessary for our child.
00:37:44And we wash it off
00:37:46and spoil its skin.
00:37:48Because we use so much soap.
00:37:50In baby lotion, baby soap.
00:37:52There are so many chemicals.
00:37:54Toxic chemicals.
00:37:55In powder, talcum powder.
00:37:57For God's sake.
00:37:58Don't use it on your children.
00:37:59The one which is applied on the face.
00:38:00Yes.
00:38:01I learned this from my mother.
00:38:03Use natural things on your children's skin.
00:38:05Don't use soap.
00:38:07No, I don't.
00:38:09Because they are not dirty.
00:38:11But those who have played
00:38:13are important.
00:38:15Sweaty.
00:38:16That way, yes.
00:38:17When children are growing up,
00:38:19they sweat a lot at a certain age.
00:38:21Yes.
00:38:22Especially when they are 12 or 13.
00:38:24Use it regularly.
00:38:26The children who have come from school
00:38:28or college,
00:38:30it is important to make them aware.
00:38:32It is important.
00:38:33Especially from the parents.
00:38:35That this shouldn't happen.
00:38:37Of course.
00:38:39It is important to take care of your personal hygiene.
00:38:42It's just that I have gotten it from my mother.
00:38:44And I want to pass that on to her.
00:38:46It's very important.
00:38:47I don't want her to go to anyone
00:38:49or see anyone.
00:38:51I get very uncomfortable.
00:38:53Somebody is not.
00:38:54It has a body odor.
00:38:55I just don't like it.
00:38:56And find out why the body odor is there.
00:38:58Yes, exactly.
00:38:59There is no need for it.
00:39:00You are eating something.
00:39:01There is a hormonal imbalance.
00:39:02Exactly.
00:39:03But it is not done in our country.
00:39:04It is not even told.
00:39:05You can wear the clothes you have kept.
00:39:07Repeating it is not a problem.
00:39:08But if the clothes are dirty,
00:39:09if you wear it,
00:39:10it won't smell.
00:39:11And you wash the clothes.
00:39:12But you don't wear the burkha.
00:39:13You don't wash it.
00:39:14So it is important.
00:39:15Yes.
00:39:16And like your body odor is so much.
00:39:19You don't do anything.
00:39:21You don't like your face at all.
00:39:22So all these things
00:39:23have been in my mind since childhood.
00:39:26And because you will put it in your child.
00:39:28Yes.
00:39:29Otherwise,
00:39:30they don't become your friends.
00:39:31You are self-aware.
00:39:33You are self-aware.
00:39:34That this thing is a problem.
00:39:35I mean,
00:39:36our children,
00:39:37in the group of their friends,
00:39:38if there is someone like that,
00:39:39they used to keep his name.
00:39:40And they used to discuss with us.
00:39:42His smell is like this.
00:39:44He enters the room.
00:39:46So this happens.
00:39:47Such things happen.
00:39:48Exactly.
00:39:49A person who doesn't look good in preparation
00:39:51has a bad smell.
00:39:53Yes.
00:39:54You think that you are ready from above.
00:39:56But you have such a bad smell.
00:39:58There was a concept in our house too.
00:39:59Whether there is a fragrance or not.
00:40:01There is a bad smell.
00:40:02There is a bad smell.
00:40:03Whether there is a fragrance or not.
00:40:04People don't have those methods.
00:40:07They don't even know.
00:40:08They use those bad body sprays.
00:40:10Because of which they don't know
00:40:11that when they meet with a bad smell with sweat,
00:40:13it becomes a bad smell.
00:40:15They don't understand that
00:40:16they have to clean the sweat first.
00:40:18But how to clean the sweat?
00:40:19Naturally,
00:40:20you know on the set
00:40:22that this is happening with people.
00:40:24And what we call common,
00:40:27I am not calling you common.
00:40:28You are not common at all.
00:40:29You are also very special.
00:40:30Like all of us are special.
00:40:32So if the people don't have the means,
00:40:34then use it properly.
00:40:36That is the best thing.
00:40:37Whether you do it or not,
00:40:38you have to teach your sons, daughters,
00:40:40husband, especially husband.
00:40:45You have to teach your children.
00:40:47You have to teach your husband too.
00:40:48I don't know,
00:40:49his mother didn't teach him.
00:40:50Tell us the method too.
00:40:51Tell us the method too.
00:40:52Method?
00:40:53When I take a bath,
00:40:54I have become used to Karachi.
00:40:56Although I live in Islamabad now,
00:40:58I still take a bath in a bucket.
00:41:00I don't take a shower.
00:41:01I still take a bath in a bucket.
00:41:03So I have become used to the fitkari.
00:41:05I have kept fitkari in every bathroom.
00:41:10The one that I gargle,
00:41:12I put it in my glass too.
00:41:14It is good for teeth and mouth.
00:41:16It is antibacterial.
00:41:17And I put it in my bucket.
00:41:19And the one that is a little hard,
00:41:21but it has a portion,
00:41:23I actually do use it all over my body.
00:41:25As a roll-on.
00:41:27Yes, I use it as a roll-on.
00:41:29And let me tell you one more thing,
00:41:30very soon,
00:41:31not now,
00:41:32it will take a month or two,
00:41:34but I will get my natural deodorant too.
00:41:36Very good.
00:41:37Natural deodorant,
00:41:38because even if you use other deodorants,
00:41:42it can also cause cancer.
00:41:46It is very important
00:41:48that whatever you are buying,
00:41:51there is everything about it on the internet.
00:41:53Earlier, in our time,
00:41:55our mother used to say,
00:41:56use this, we did it,
00:41:57we didn't think about it.
00:41:58So it is very important
00:42:00that you read information about it.
00:42:02Whatever you use,
00:42:04but do use something natural.
00:42:06Whether it is the smell of your mouth,
00:42:08or the smell of your body.
00:42:10And it also comes from the feet.
00:42:12For that too, pitkari.
00:42:14Pitkari, baking soda,
00:42:16the problem of shoes is in many children.
00:42:20So when my children's shoes come,
00:42:22although they hate it,
00:42:24I put baking soda on them.
00:42:26Because when they sweat,
00:42:28they will get hungry.
00:42:29And if they close it in the cupboard,
00:42:31then I leave it in an open place.
00:42:33And baking soda will get rid of the sweat.
00:42:35So these are 2-3 things
00:42:36that we learn from our mothers.
00:42:38And all these things are very basic.
00:42:40Everyone can get it.
00:42:41They are not very expensive.
00:42:42Fidelity is always kept in my bathroom.
00:42:44It is a crystal bar.
00:42:46You can get it softened by rubbing it.
00:42:48So if you can apply it in your underarms.
00:42:50In fact, even before makeup,
00:42:51people put pitkari in water
00:42:53and apply it all over the face.
00:42:54It gets rid of the seeds.
00:42:55It gets rid of the seeds
00:42:56because it is anti-bacterial.
00:42:57It is so good that you...
00:42:58I mean, I don't like it
00:42:59when I hug someone
00:43:00and there is darkness in front of their eyes.
00:43:02No, no.
00:43:03It happened during a shoot.
00:43:05We were shooting in London.
00:43:06I won't mention the name.
00:43:08There is a very big star
00:43:10of our Pakistan.
00:43:12This is going on.
00:43:14We will have to tell.
00:43:16But one of them
00:43:17used to have a very bad body odor.
00:43:19So my...
00:43:20And I am a little...
00:43:22Outspoken.
00:43:23Yes, right?
00:43:24So my...
00:43:25They gave me the responsibility
00:43:27all the set people.
00:43:28That whenever it happens,
00:43:29you have to cure them.
00:43:31First, I brought everyone to the set
00:43:33and gave deodorant.
00:43:34To everyone.
00:43:35Yes, to everyone.
00:43:36Then every time our show started...
00:43:38I mean, before the scene started,
00:43:40I used to give chewing gum to them.
00:43:42We were in London.
00:43:43So I...
00:43:44I couldn't give soft.
00:43:45I didn't have it.
00:43:46So after the 10th day,
00:43:47they say,
00:43:48what is your problem?
00:43:49Why do you keep giving me
00:43:50chewing gum all the time?
00:43:51I said, no, no.
00:43:52I also have a habit
00:43:53that my jaw will become thin
00:43:54if I eat chewing gum.
00:43:57So these things happen to you.
00:44:00That people have a problem.
00:44:02So get your stomach checked.
00:44:04Get your gut checked.
00:44:05Whether it's the smell of the mouth,
00:44:07whether it's the smell of the body
00:44:08or the smell of the feet.
00:44:09It means that you have
00:44:10something wrong inside.
00:44:11There is bacteria
00:44:12because of which the smell is coming.
00:44:13So this happens.
00:44:14It happens every day.
00:44:15That someone is sitting
00:44:16in the office
00:44:17and he is smelling so bad.
00:44:18How do you make him smell?
00:44:19In the slides,
00:44:20someone is like this with you
00:44:21and they make your hair like this.
00:44:22Now stop talking about the smell.
00:44:24Just moving on.
00:44:25Hygiene.
00:44:26Hygiene.
00:44:27Learn from your mother.
00:44:28Learn from your mother.
00:44:29If your mother is not teaching you,
00:44:30then learn from Google Aunty.
00:44:31Show me the next slide.
00:44:32These people are not...
00:44:33They won't keep quiet.
00:44:34People are eating papayas and tea.
00:44:36Self-independent.
00:44:37Yes.
00:44:38This is my mother.
00:44:39I think she gave me
00:44:40self-independence.
00:44:43Self-independence.
00:44:44Yes.
00:44:45You...
00:44:46What she said earlier,
00:44:48I learned from my mother.
00:44:49Definitely.
00:44:50On our decisions,
00:44:52what we do,
00:44:54we should treat our children
00:44:58like children.
00:44:59But Allah gave us
00:45:01an intuition,
00:45:03a power.
00:45:05So I am applying that
00:45:07on my children.
00:45:09That I listen to them.
00:45:11I let them be independent.
00:45:13You tell me.
00:45:14If I don't want to eat anything,
00:45:15I say, no problem.
00:45:16I don't feel hungry.
00:45:17I don't want to eat.
00:45:18Because I don't like this.
00:45:19So I let them be independent.
00:45:21Okay, tell me.
00:45:22What do you like?
00:45:24Or if they have to make a decision,
00:45:26I encourage their decision-making.
00:45:29That they get used to it.
00:45:31That they make that.
00:45:32Otherwise, what happens with us is
00:45:33that the children say,
00:45:34no, you can't do this.
00:45:35You can't take this decision.
00:45:36So that doubt starts to arise.
00:45:39Especially the first seven years of your life.
00:45:42We live in doubt.
00:45:44That what we thought,
00:45:45what we understood.
00:45:47Like she said,
00:45:48even if you are going somewhere,
00:45:49whether you reach or not,
00:45:50you don't have that independence.
00:45:52You become reliant on your parents.
00:45:54On your mother especially.
00:45:56For every decision that has to be made.
00:45:58This has come in my younger daughter.
00:46:01When she was small,
00:46:02she used to go to the bathroom.
00:46:03So she used to come and say,
00:46:04can I go to the bathroom?
00:46:05She used to say, yes, yes, of course.
00:46:07She used to come and ask me ten times a day.
00:46:10And I would be like,
00:46:11of course you can do it.
00:46:12Go, please.
00:46:13Don't ask me.
00:46:14Even now,
00:46:15even the elders ask me,
00:46:16can I wear this?
00:46:17You tell me,
00:46:18which one should I choose?
00:46:19Don't do this with the kids.
00:46:21Which we do a lot.
00:46:23So let them be independent
00:46:25on their own,
00:46:26take their own decisions.
00:46:27Because they have to do this all their life.
00:46:29If we don't teach them now,
00:46:31when will they learn?
00:46:33Then you become reliant on the husband,
00:46:35on somebody else.
00:46:36This is a very good thing.
00:46:37This is a very good thing.
00:46:38It is very important to do it within yourself.
00:46:40So basically you are saying
00:46:41that don't pamper so much
00:46:42that the kids lose their decision making power.
00:46:47They should have their own autonomy.
00:46:49Every human being has it.
00:46:50For example,
00:46:51sometimes we used to record some people
00:46:54that some kids of our family
00:46:56were like this.
00:46:57They used to say,
00:46:58they have grown up.
00:46:59Mom, give them food.
00:47:00That means they can't make that much of a decision.
00:47:02Brother, how hungry are you?
00:47:04Mom, give them food.
00:47:05Why?
00:47:06We used to record that
00:47:08they will come and say,
00:47:09Mom, give them food.
00:47:11Mom, give them food.
00:47:12Mom, give them food.
00:47:13So,
00:47:14this is symbolic.
00:47:16It means that
00:47:17how hungry are you?
00:47:18When do you have to go to the washroom?
00:47:20What do you have to do?
00:47:21They can't make any decision.
00:47:22Make your own decisions.
00:47:23What do you want?
00:47:24You should think about yourself,
00:47:25about your child.
00:47:26Not because I am a mother,
00:47:27so if I want this,
00:47:28then my child will want this.
00:47:30We think like this.
00:47:31I know better.
00:47:32I know better.
00:47:33Actually,
00:47:34this also happens that
00:47:35I could never become a doctor.
00:47:36I want my daughter to become a doctor.
00:47:37Exactly.
00:47:38Because if I can't become a doctor,
00:47:39then she will do it.
00:47:41I am not saying that
00:47:42parents can't fulfill their wishes.
00:47:44No.
00:47:45But it is important to be confident.
00:47:46Even if the child doesn't want to become a doctor.
00:47:48Exactly.
00:47:49It is important to ask them.
00:47:50What you are saying is absolutely right.
00:47:52You should recognize your children
00:47:54because every child
00:47:56with their own personality,
00:47:58is not your personality.
00:48:00Khalil Gibran's poetry is very good.
00:48:02It is a poem.
00:48:03It is a poem by Hazrat Ali too.
00:48:05By the way,
00:48:06your children are not you.
00:48:08Remember this.
00:48:09They are independent souls
00:48:11who have brought their own destiny
00:48:13and not yours.
00:48:15And what we do is
00:48:17we put our unfulfilled
00:48:19dreams on them.
00:48:21If I didn't do this,
00:48:23then you will do it.
00:48:24If this injustice happens to me,
00:48:25then I won't let it happen to you.
00:48:27Many women also do this.
00:48:29They make it negative
00:48:31towards men.
00:48:33Because their experience
00:48:35was not good.
00:48:37So, try to understand
00:48:39your child.
00:48:41How your child is.
00:48:43And apply those things on him.
00:48:45And don't put your things on them.
00:48:47Exactly.
00:48:48It doesn't mean that
00:48:50you should let your children be free.
00:48:52You are not telling them to be free.
00:48:54As it is said,
00:48:56you will know.
00:48:58You have more experience than your children.
00:49:00You will know many things.
00:49:01They don't know.
00:49:02But if they want to say something
00:49:04or do something,
00:49:05let them say.
00:49:06Then you can tell them
00:49:08what is good and what is bad.
00:49:09You can pick and choose
00:49:10what you want to do.
00:49:11Because obviously,
00:49:12parents don't want anything wrong for you.
00:49:13But still,
00:49:14you have to let them be for a while also.
00:49:16First of all,
00:49:18most of the women
00:49:20don't know themselves.
00:49:22Yes.
00:49:23First of all,
00:49:24you should do this.
00:49:25You should parent yourself.
00:49:27Because we don't have good parenting.
00:49:29Good in the sense,
00:49:31our mothers tried to raise us
00:49:33the way they learned.
00:49:35But that wasn't parenting.
00:49:37Raising children quickly.
00:49:39Raising five children
00:49:41is such a difficult task.
00:49:43I can't even raise two.
00:49:44I have to raise five.
00:49:46So,
00:49:47first understand yourself.
00:49:49Because we don't understand ourselves.
00:49:50And then understand your children.
00:49:51Who are they?
00:49:52Because the eldest child
00:49:54is born with a different personality.
00:49:56The second child is also different.
00:49:58The way you raised the first child,
00:50:00you can't raise the second child like that.
00:50:02So, you have to be very aware
00:50:04of what you're doing in your parenting.
00:50:06So, the independence that I'm talking about,
00:50:08the children,
00:50:10naturally,
00:50:12every human being has that.
00:50:14A special thing.
00:50:16Recognize that.
00:50:18And work on that
00:50:20instead.
00:50:22Absolutely.
00:50:24Next slide.
00:50:26Strictness.
00:50:28We had already discussed that.
00:50:30Mother's strictness.
00:50:32There is one thing that I didn't do.
00:50:34Yes.
00:50:36I did pass on from my mother.
00:50:38I saw my mother doing it.
00:50:40But I changed it.
00:50:42Yes.
00:50:44Because as a child,
00:50:46I used to feel that strictness was more than necessary.
00:50:48And because of that,
00:50:50there was a stage in my life
00:50:52where I became rebellious.
00:50:54A little rebellious.
00:50:56In this rebelliousness,
00:50:58I couldn't do what people do.
00:51:00Because I was living in a very
00:51:02controlled environment.
00:51:04And I was only 17 when I got married.
00:51:06So, I didn't get much time.
00:51:08But in my mind,
00:51:10its impact wasn't right.
00:51:12I think so.
00:51:14And the childhood memories,
00:51:16which should be fond memories,
00:51:18are not that fond.
00:51:20So,
00:51:22I had always thought that
00:51:24I won't do strictness.
00:51:26I will be more of a friend
00:51:28to my child than
00:51:30a strict guardian.
00:51:32A lot of people
00:51:34don't agree with me.
00:51:36They say that a parent should be a parent.
00:51:38There is no need to be a friend.
00:51:40There are stages in life.
00:51:42In childhood, yes, you have to be a parent.
00:51:44You have to discipline your child.
00:51:46You have to make him strong.
00:51:48But after that, you have to switch over.
00:51:50It's the need of the hour.
00:51:52If you don't become a friend with your child,
00:51:54then your child will go far away from you.
00:51:56Because the world we live in
00:51:58is a very dangerous world.
00:52:00And if you
00:52:02keep your child in strictness,
00:52:04then even if he does something,
00:52:06he will never confide in you.
00:52:08He won't talk to you.
00:52:10Because he will be scared
00:52:12that his mother will slap him.
00:52:14So, I did the polar opposite
00:52:16of what my mother
00:52:18used to do.
00:52:20She was very strict with her daughters.
00:52:22We were not allowed to go out anywhere.
00:52:24She was strict with everything.
00:52:26I don't do this with my daughter.
00:52:28She is allowed to make her own decisions.
00:52:30She has to go out.
00:52:32I give her the permission
00:52:34because I believe as an individual human being,
00:52:36she has a need to socialize also.
00:52:38With social animals.
00:52:40We can't lock our children at home.
00:52:42You are crushing their personality.
00:52:44I think that's why
00:52:46up to a certain age,
00:52:48I didn't have any confidence.
00:52:50Because I didn't get that exposure.
00:52:52I didn't get that exposure.
00:52:54I wasn't exposed to the outside world.
00:52:56Eventually,
00:52:58it was very difficult for me to change.
00:53:00I had to do a lot of hard work.
00:53:02I didn't want my daughter to go through that.
00:53:04That's why I made a lot of difference.
00:53:06It makes me very proud
00:53:08when I see the person that she is growing into.
00:53:10Mashallah.
00:53:12She is a very well behaved child.
00:53:14She is very focused.
00:53:16She knows what she is doing.
00:53:18She is very sensible.
00:53:20I am very happy to see
00:53:22that she makes smart choices.
00:53:24Alhamdulillah.
00:53:26We have also made smart choices.
00:53:28Just like our mother raised us.
00:53:30It's not like we are stupid.
00:53:32We are very intelligent.
00:53:34All of my sisters.
00:53:36But I like that I did a different parenting.
00:53:38And the outcome was good.
00:53:40It means the times have changed.
00:53:42Exactly.
00:53:44It's the need of the hour.
00:53:46You can't lock your children at home.
00:53:48Sometimes,
00:53:50I compare a parent
00:53:52to a chameleon.
00:53:54You have to change
00:53:56like a chameleon.
00:53:58When do you have to be a parent?
00:54:00When do you have to be a teacher?
00:54:02When do you have to be a friend?
00:54:04If you know this,
00:54:06then you are successful.
00:54:08When do you have to be a friend?
00:54:10This is a very difficult thing
00:54:12to do as a mother.
00:54:14We think it's very easy.
00:54:16No.
00:54:18I have always said
00:54:20that I have run a company.
00:54:22It's very easy.
00:54:24It's a company.
00:54:26It's your child.
00:54:28This is your future.
00:54:30It's everyone's future.
00:54:32If the mother gives the training,
00:54:34then the child will be like that.
00:54:36The first 7 years
00:54:38are very important.
00:54:40You have to give confidence to your child.
00:54:42So that he can make his own decisions.
00:54:44We are taking a short break.
00:54:46We will come back after the break.
00:54:48Good morning, Pakistan.
00:54:56Welcome, welcome back.
00:54:58Good morning, Pakistan.
00:55:00Today we are discussing
00:55:02what we learned from our mothers
00:55:04and what we transferred to our children.
00:55:06We are not just talking about daughters.
00:55:08It's very important to teach our sons as well.
00:55:10She is our daughter.
00:55:12You also have a daughter.
00:55:14It's very important to teach our sons as well.
00:55:16Mothers should not sit relaxed
00:55:18like their sons.
00:55:20We have a son.
00:55:22We have both.
00:55:24It's very important to teach our sons.
00:55:26I feel,
00:55:28we should not teach our sons
00:55:30what we should teach.
00:55:32We make them retarded.
00:55:34Their growth is retardation.
00:55:36Like you said,
00:55:38the mother fed him food.
00:55:40I have seen this in people's homes.
00:55:42They treat them very specially.
00:55:44When they grow up,
00:55:46they feel that
00:55:48they don't need to do their own things.
00:55:50Like our mother,
00:55:52our father was in the army.
00:55:54Our grandfather was also in the army.
00:55:56So make your own bed as soon as you wake up.
00:55:58That's the first thing.
00:56:00Make your own bed.
00:56:02It's very important.
00:56:04We learned this.
00:56:06My brother was also taught this.
00:56:08My father used to cook very well.
00:56:10He used to cook when he was interested.
00:56:14My brother cooks for his wife.
00:56:16In fact, he takes care of his children.
00:56:18My brother
00:56:20lives in Jeddah.
00:56:22He is a stay-at-home dad.
00:56:24He is not a housewife.
00:56:26He is a house dad.
00:56:28His wife works.
00:56:30He takes care of his children.
00:56:32We taught him everything.
00:56:34He was the only son.
00:56:36He went to the army.
00:56:38Teach your son everything.
00:56:40Prophet Muhammad used to wash his own clothes.
00:56:42We don't respect him.
00:56:44How can our son
00:56:46or husband
00:56:48work at home?
00:56:50How is this possible?
00:56:52Teach your daughter everything.
00:56:54Teach her to work.
00:56:56Teach her to work at home.
00:56:58If she wants to work outside,
00:57:00teach her to work.
00:57:02Hazrat Khadija used to work.
00:57:04In our times,
00:57:06if a woman can't work outside,
00:57:08why can't she?
00:57:10If you teach her,
00:57:12she will work outside.
00:57:14Teach your son to work.
00:57:16Teach your daughter to work.
00:57:18Sorry, I forgot.
00:57:22Diet.
00:57:24Did you teach her diet?
00:57:26I forgot.
00:57:28It's not like that.
00:57:30It's about eating well.
00:57:32My mother
00:57:34worked hard for us.
00:57:36She fed me well.
00:57:38I was one of those
00:57:40who couldn't eat well.
00:57:42When I sit down to eat,
00:57:44Sharmeen has also seen it.
00:57:46I couldn't eat well.
00:57:48Everyone was eating meat.
00:57:50I was like, I can't have it
00:57:52because I don't eat meat.
00:57:54It could be any reason.
00:57:56It's not like I didn't eat since childhood.
00:57:58My mother used to say that
00:58:00she left me after an incident.
00:58:02Whatever that incident was.
00:58:04I try to eat well
00:58:06like my mother did.
00:58:08I don't give her
00:58:10such a beautiful plate
00:58:12so that she can say
00:58:14I don't want it.
00:58:16I try to feed her
00:58:18what I don't eat.
00:58:20So that she doesn't have
00:58:22the same problems that I have.
00:58:24I can't eat this, I can't eat that.
00:58:26I have a problem with this.
00:58:28I can't digest it.
00:58:30I can't eat it.
00:58:32I don't like it.
00:58:34I have to eat good things.
00:58:36I don't give her fruits
00:58:38until I force her to eat it.
00:58:40I don't force her to eat it.
00:58:42I will eat it, but I don't know when.
00:58:44I do this with her.
00:58:46I give her a good fruit.
00:58:48If she eats a handful of nuts,
00:58:50I say it's good.
00:58:52My mother used to do this to me.
00:58:54Even today, when I go home,
00:58:56I tell my mother
00:58:58I don't want to eat this.
00:59:00I want her to eat this.
00:59:02I didn't want to force her to eat this.
00:59:04That's why I tried to give her
00:59:06good things.
00:59:08My brother eats everything.
00:59:10He cooks well.
00:59:12His wife cooks well.
00:59:14He learned all this.
00:59:16I was away from the kitchen
00:59:18so I'm learning to cook now.
00:59:20I can cook some good things
00:59:22but I want her to learn
00:59:24My kids learn from my mother.
00:59:26For example,
00:59:28I used to eat a lot of grains
00:59:30so I stopped eating meat.
00:59:32I stopped eating beef.
00:59:34I felt that
00:59:36I stopped eating
00:59:38the grains of my youth.
00:59:40I should have developed
00:59:42the taste of meat.
00:59:44So I started eating chicken.
00:59:46My kids started doing the same.
00:59:48My husband said
00:59:50he eats everything.
00:59:52He's so sweet.
00:59:54He doesn't have any tantrums.
00:59:56He can eat anything.
00:59:58My kids were cooking chicken
01:00:00and my husband said
01:00:02it's easy for you to cook chicken
01:00:04because it cooks fast.
01:00:06Why can't my kids eat everything?
01:00:08They should eat vegetables and meat.
01:00:10They should have a balanced diet.
01:00:12My husband used to eat a lot of vegetables
01:00:14so I became immune to vegetables.
01:00:16But I stopped eating meat.
01:00:18Then
01:00:20he became strict.
01:00:22He said
01:00:24I'm not restricting you to eat
01:00:26but my kids should eat
01:00:28chicken once a week.
01:00:30When you cook desi ghee
01:00:32you can smell it.
01:00:34My parents have eaten it.
01:00:36But I don't like it
01:00:38because I can't eat it.
01:00:40I make sure my kids
01:00:42eat desi ghee.
01:00:44I can't eat eggs
01:00:46because I can't have eggs anymore.
01:00:48So I told him
01:00:50it's not necessary
01:00:52to eat everything.
01:00:54Then I realized
01:00:56that the restriction has been removed.
01:00:58Now kids eat everything.
01:01:00They eat meat, mutton,
01:01:02vegetables and lentils.
01:01:04I credit it to my husband
01:01:06because
01:01:08my kids were picking it up.
01:01:10He had an idea.
01:01:12My husband and I
01:01:14are picky about food.
01:01:16He eats all kinds of meat
01:01:18but I can't.
01:01:20I can eat fish
01:01:22because my mom loves seafood.
01:01:24I can eat fish, prawns
01:01:26but not chicken.
01:01:28I don't have meat.
01:01:30But I want him to eat everything.
01:01:32So I want to pass on
01:01:34my mom's diet to my son.
01:01:36So basically
01:01:38this is a concept of being open
01:01:40to things.
01:01:42I tried a lot.
01:01:44When I was a kid
01:01:46I couldn't do it with my brother.
01:01:48He used to feed me
01:01:50a lot of food.
01:01:52So I became very fat.
01:01:54I did this with my kids
01:01:56when I used to feel hungry.
01:01:58I used to say okay.
01:02:00But from the first day
01:02:02because I was like this
01:02:04and my mom wasn't like this.
01:02:06She used to get fish in the microwave
01:02:08in Germany.
01:02:10She used to fry it.
01:02:12You don't have to cook
01:02:14all the convenient things.
01:02:16In Pakistan it's more.
01:02:18So I taught my daughters
01:02:20what they should eat.
01:02:22They get it from school
01:02:24but I do it a lot.
01:02:26Now you get a lot from school.
01:02:28I taught them about protein
01:02:30and the food pyramid.
01:02:32When I cook food
01:02:34I have a menu.
01:02:36I cook meat
01:02:38twice a week.
01:02:40And once in a month I cook chicken.
01:02:42Not chicken at all.
01:02:44Because chicken has hormones.
01:02:46I don't cook chicken for my kids.
01:02:48These days chicken is not good.
01:02:50Even desi chicken
01:02:52is difficult to cook.
01:02:54You can only make yakhni.
01:02:56You can't eat desi chicken.
01:02:58I make cutlets
01:03:00for my kids.
01:03:02I teach them
01:03:04one cheat day
01:03:06like pizza, burger, junk day
01:03:08whatever you eat.
01:03:10Two days for meat,
01:03:12one day for vegetables,
01:03:14one day for fish,
01:03:16one day for lentils.
01:03:18So they eat everything?
01:03:20Yes.
01:03:22Naya used to eat
01:03:24everything from avocados
01:03:26to bitter gourd.
01:03:28But when she turned 10-11
01:03:30she started liking everything.
01:03:32So I don't force her.
01:03:34I force her
01:03:36on green day.
01:03:38You tell me if you want okra, broccoli,
01:03:40anything green
01:03:42except cucumber.
01:03:44Because kids like cucumber.
01:03:46So I tell her
01:03:48one day before cheat day
01:03:50if you eat broccoli
01:03:52you will get cheetos tomorrow
01:03:54or else I won't give you cheetos.
01:03:58So I force her
01:04:00and make her understand
01:04:02why it is important.
01:04:04Like I said earlier
01:04:06conscious parenting
01:04:08and conscious eating also.
01:04:10It is so important
01:04:12how you eat
01:04:14and how you feed your kids.
01:04:16If you force them to eat
01:04:18there is no benefit.
01:04:20No benefit.
01:04:22Believe me, it is science.
01:04:24If you feed them well
01:04:26even the water they drink
01:04:28has a positive effect.
01:04:30I force my kids
01:04:32to eat curd
01:04:34but they don't eat it.
01:04:36They don't eat anything.
01:04:38I force them to eat white food
01:04:40like cream.
01:04:44I have a phobia
01:04:46that I can't eat white food.
01:04:48I try to diet
01:04:50but I don't know
01:04:52how I got that phobia.
01:04:54You were forced into it.
01:04:56I feel nauseous
01:04:58when I drink white milk
01:05:00or eat white food.
01:05:02I don't know
01:05:04if I have an allergy.
01:05:06It is called childhood trauma.
01:05:08It happened to me.
01:05:10My father was so fond of
01:05:12raw eggs in milk.
01:05:14Eggs were also good
01:05:16so he used to eat it.
01:05:18I had the same reaction.
01:05:20But I eat eggs every day.
01:05:22Why?
01:05:24You eat 4 eggs every morning?
01:05:26Every morning.
01:05:28Everything.
01:05:30It's a complete meal.
01:05:32It's a complete meal.
01:05:34You get full protein in breakfast.
01:05:36I had a topic on eggs.
01:05:38My mother
01:05:40was very particular
01:05:42about eggs.
01:05:44Although
01:05:46I have been trolled a lot on the internet
01:05:48but my mother firmly believed
01:05:50that the height of my daughters
01:05:52will be longer if they eat eggs.
01:05:54Because my parents
01:05:56had an average height.
01:06:00My father had the same.
01:06:02My mother is 5'4".
01:06:04My father was 6'3".
01:06:06He was afraid of us being short.
01:06:08So he used to put raw eggs in milk
01:06:10and give us separate eggs.
01:06:12Tell me one thing.
01:06:14I have seen
01:06:16how I have taken care of their diet.
01:06:18My children are also tall.
01:06:20More than being tall,
01:06:22intelligence increases.
01:06:24Protein is very good for your brain.
01:06:26It has Omega 3, Omega 6, Choline.
01:06:30It's a complete meal.
01:06:32Protein is very important
01:06:34for children's brain development.
01:06:36Protein is important for our muscles.
01:06:38The point is
01:06:40when you teach your children
01:06:42what they should eat
01:06:44and don't force them.
01:06:46Believe it or not,
01:06:48when you cook something
01:06:50with love,
01:06:52it has a very good energy.
01:06:54It is more beneficial for them
01:06:56when they eat it happily.
01:06:58If you force them to eat,
01:07:00they will say,
01:07:02eat it quickly,
01:07:04you won't get this.
01:07:06Don't do this with your children.
01:07:08Don't do this with your children.
01:07:10Don't do this with your children.
01:07:12That is the worst thing you could do
01:07:14to your child.
01:07:16Because when you are eating
01:07:18or drinking it,
01:07:20it has a negative effect.
01:07:22Everyone asks me,
01:07:24how do you stay thin?
01:07:26Because I think thin
01:07:28and I talk to my food.
01:07:30I actually do.
01:07:32If you drink water,
01:07:34pray and drink it.
01:07:36If you eat food,
01:07:38pray and eat it.
01:07:40For this reason only,
01:07:42the way you digest
01:07:44and process it,
01:07:46if you are in a happy mood,
01:07:48people have seen it,
01:07:50science has seen it,
01:07:52your blood changes,
01:07:54your structure changes,
01:07:56it has a positive impact on you.
01:07:58Cook it well,
01:08:00cook it happily
01:08:02and feed it happily
01:08:04so that the child eats it happily.
01:08:06Absolutely.
01:08:08Next slide.
01:08:10Sleeping habit.
01:08:12This is very important.
01:08:14In our country,
01:08:16parents are awake
01:08:18and so are the children.
01:08:20You have to sleep late at night.
01:08:22I am not talking about
01:08:24a certain class.
01:08:26Every class.
01:08:28In a certain class,
01:08:30the children have to go to bed
01:08:32at 7-8 pm.
01:08:34But most of the masses
01:08:36don't let their children sleep.
01:08:38I read a lot of research
01:08:40and I read
01:08:42that a person
01:08:44who is awake will not die.
01:08:46But lack of sleep
01:08:48will make you go crazy.
01:08:50And you can die
01:08:52because of less sleep.
01:08:54Sleeping is very important
01:08:56at the right time
01:08:58for our body and well-being.
01:09:00Especially for the child.
01:09:02My mother was not strict.
01:09:04My father was very strict
01:09:06about this.
01:09:08We used to live outside
01:09:10and there were no servants.
01:09:12But sleeping habits
01:09:14get better.
01:09:16You wake up early
01:09:18and go to bed early.
01:09:20My mother has to work
01:09:22and my father has to get up early.
01:09:24But here,
01:09:26the driver will take the children
01:09:28and I will sleep well.
01:09:30My mother watches
01:09:32Turkish dramas
01:09:34all night long
01:09:36and scolds me
01:09:38to go to bed early.
01:09:40I am teaching my mother
01:09:42and I am very strict with my children
01:09:44that
01:09:46sleep is very important
01:09:48for the development of the child.
01:09:50My children used to sleep at 7 am
01:09:52and now they have to sleep
01:09:54before 9 am.
01:09:56So I wake them up at 6 am
01:09:58and I will wake them up at dawn.
01:10:00That is the best time
01:10:02to wake them up
01:10:04so that they can sleep at 8 am.
01:10:06Your body
01:10:08gets repaired
01:10:10when you are asleep.
01:10:12A child grows when he is asleep.
01:10:14When a child is walking,
01:10:16he is not gaining height.
01:10:18He is doing it
01:10:20when he is sleeping at night.
01:10:22If a child is not getting proper sleep,
01:10:24he will not grow.
01:10:26His body and organs
01:10:28will not function properly.
01:10:30The growth of adults is there
01:10:32but with age,
01:10:34the damage that is happening
01:10:36in our routine,
01:10:38our daily wear,
01:10:40our body copes with it
01:10:42when we sleep.
01:10:44It fights off the problems
01:10:46like infection, disease
01:10:48while you are asleep.
01:10:50Sleep is very important.
01:10:52I do not sleep
01:10:54and I start putting on weight.
01:10:56I start eating more
01:10:58because my brain is asking for energy
01:11:00even though I do not need to eat.
01:11:02Sleep is very important
01:11:04and
01:11:06even I am very particular about it.
01:11:08Vacations or not,
01:11:10after a certain time,
01:11:12I cannot tolerate my daughter staying up.
01:11:14She knows that she has to go to bed.
01:11:16When she is with her father,
01:11:18she takes advantage.
01:11:20But when she is with me,
01:11:22I am very particular
01:11:24because she has grown up.
01:11:26When she is with Ali,
01:11:28I cannot control her.
01:11:30I called her last night
01:11:32and asked her to talk to her kids.
01:11:34Her phones were switched off
01:11:36and she was out with her father at 8.30 am.
01:11:38I told her that
01:11:40this cannot happen when I am there.
01:11:428.30 am?
01:11:44You are early.
01:11:46No, I am not.
01:11:48We are taking a break.
01:11:50We will come back after the break.
01:11:52Good morning.
01:11:58Welcome. Welcome back.
01:12:00Good morning, Pakistan.
01:12:02Today we are discussing
01:12:04what we have learnt from our mothers
01:12:06and what we have learnt from our kids.
01:12:08We have learnt a lot
01:12:10from each other.
01:12:12Now,
01:12:14I will do the same with my kids.
01:12:16I will force them to do it.
01:12:20You have noticed that
01:12:22grandmothers are more lenient.
01:12:24Yes.
01:12:26Maybe we should relax also.
01:12:28We were not like this when we were young.
01:12:30No, no.
01:12:32We have gone through a lot.
01:12:34Now, if we have to do it with our kids,
01:12:36they will say,
01:12:38what are you doing?
01:12:40Why did you say that?
01:12:42Mom, you of all the people are saying this.
01:12:44This is the love of grandmothers.
01:12:46I still have this problem.
01:12:48When I sit,
01:12:50I cannot sit properly.
01:12:52My brother did not have a problem with girls.
01:12:54Whenever my daughter sits on the bed,
01:12:56whenever mom says something,
01:12:58I say, she is a kid.
01:13:00I am also a kid.
01:13:02Why don't you say this?
01:13:04Grandmothers are very lenient.
01:13:06They are not strict.
01:13:08Whose card is this?
01:13:10Mine.
01:13:12I also said this.
01:13:14School competition.
01:13:16In our house,
01:13:18it was very important
01:13:20to come first.
01:13:22First, second,
01:13:24third.
01:13:26After that,
01:13:28anger,
01:13:30crying,
01:13:32washing.
01:13:34I used to feel like,
01:13:36God forgive me,
01:13:38what has happened in the house.
01:13:40I used to think that I should come
01:13:42highest in every test.
01:13:44Every child has
01:13:46their own capacity and potential.
01:13:48I felt that
01:13:50every child does not have to be
01:13:52a top grader.
01:13:54So, I backed off.
01:13:56I said, I will not
01:13:58teach her.
01:14:00I will not do this with her.
01:14:02Because it is a torture for both.
01:14:04It ruins your relationship with your child.
01:14:06I said, I will not do this.
01:14:08I let her be.
01:14:10She was an average student
01:14:12for a very long time.
01:14:14I would say until grade 5.
01:14:16But Nida,
01:14:18she learned to pick herself.
01:14:20Slowly, slowly.
01:14:22Now, when she studies,
01:14:24she studies with her passion.
01:14:26I never told her,
01:14:28after coming back from school,
01:14:30that you have to take bath, eat and do homework.
01:14:32We had a routine.
01:14:34She said, no, I cannot study right now.
01:14:36I have to relax.
01:14:38I have to chill.
01:14:40I will study at night.
01:14:42I told her a few times,
01:14:44you get tired.
01:14:46That is my time, that is when I want to study.
01:14:48I let her be.
01:14:50She performs well.
01:14:52Because that works for her.
01:14:54What is important is that what works for her,
01:14:56does not work for other kids.
01:14:58I am not saying that this is the set formula.
01:15:00But I let her be.
01:15:02To the point where Nida,
01:15:04I had some time.
01:15:06I was at work.
01:15:08She said, give me your details.
01:15:10I said, why?
01:15:12She said, it is a new school.
01:15:14I am filling her application form.
01:15:16She said, if you want to study,
01:15:18you have to pay tuition for a year.
01:15:20I said, you are not even prepared.
01:15:22She said, just let it be.
01:15:24I want to try.
01:15:26I have been preparing for the past year.
01:15:28I want to see where I stand.
01:15:30I gave her my information.
01:15:32She filled her admission form.
01:15:34Again, I was at work.
01:15:36I thought, oh shoot,
01:15:38she had a test today.
01:15:40She saw the test and came.
01:15:42She was with her father.
01:15:44Two months later, she got in.
01:15:46She got her admission.
01:15:48I was shocked.
01:15:50She is independent now.
01:15:52She is responsible now.
01:15:56She knows that
01:15:58I trust her to make sensible decisions.
01:16:00That's so nice.
01:16:02I didn't put any strictness on her.
01:16:04I didn't say,
01:16:06I know her test week is going on.
01:16:08I go to her room.
01:16:10As a mother,
01:16:12I ask her,
01:16:14have I ever disappointed you?
01:16:16Have I ever...
01:16:18Just trust me.
01:16:20By the way, a person studies better than music.
01:16:22That's what she says.
01:16:24I don't get it.
01:16:26Maths and music.
01:16:28My son also says the same thing.
01:16:30He says, I am doing this
01:16:32and I am doing better.
01:16:34I say, shut up.
01:16:36Maths helps.
01:16:38It helps in math and music.
01:16:40For my daughter,
01:16:42there are certain hertz.
01:16:44Frequency.
01:16:46I always use it for Inaya.
01:16:48When she studies.
01:16:50Is it research?
01:16:52No, it's science.
01:16:54Whatever I am saying,
01:16:56it's science.
01:16:58Tell us,
01:17:00are there any vibrations?
01:17:02We are made of
01:17:04energy.
01:17:06Energy has a frequency.
01:17:08Energy moves.
01:17:10When there is a movement,
01:17:12there is a vibration.
01:17:14I will give an example.
01:17:16When a drop of water
01:17:18goes into the water.
01:17:20Into the stone.
01:17:22Those waves
01:17:24are called frequency.
01:17:26Similarly, sound waves are also formed.
01:17:28The one we are talking about
01:17:30also has a frequency.
01:17:32Ours, yours and mine both have a frequency.
01:17:34When God said,
01:17:36the universe is made
01:17:38of the sound frequency.
01:17:40Sound resonance.
01:17:42We also have
01:17:44our own vibration.
01:17:46Every music has a frequency.
01:17:48There are certain hertz.
01:17:50I don't remember on the top of my head.
01:17:52It's the frequency of the earth
01:17:54and the frequency of humans.
01:17:56I think,
01:17:58it's 10.
01:18:00It changes.
01:18:02Certain classical,
01:18:04especially classical music
01:18:06has a frequency
01:18:08that it opens up
01:18:10your neural pathways.
01:18:12You remember things well.
01:18:14Neurons have pathways.
01:18:16In our brain,
01:18:18there is a net
01:18:20of neurons.
01:18:22They give information
01:18:24to each other.
01:18:26They zap.
01:18:28Our thoughts are electrical
01:18:30current.
01:18:32When you listen to music,
01:18:34it changes
01:18:36your vibration
01:18:38and improves it.
01:18:40Our vibration
01:18:42changes according to the sound frequency.
01:18:44Prayer,
01:18:46Namaz, Dua
01:18:48are all frequencies.
01:18:50The recitation is a frequency
01:18:52that changes us.
01:18:54That's why we feel calm
01:18:56when we pray.
01:18:58It brings us back.
01:19:00There are inductors of energy.
01:19:02It's like a radio station.
01:19:04It also has a frequency.
01:19:06It makes a sound.
01:19:08The channel becomes clear.
01:19:10The frequency
01:19:12matches.
01:19:14You can change your frequency.
01:19:16Music can do that to you.
01:19:18Dua can change
01:19:20your frequency.
01:19:22Recitation can change your frequency.
01:19:24Your mind can change your frequency.
01:19:26Your heartbeat
01:19:28can change your frequency.
01:19:30It's a frequency.
01:19:32If you learn music
01:19:34or listen to it,
01:19:36you can study well.
01:19:38That's why we say
01:19:40whatever you say has a frequency.
01:19:42If you speak well,
01:19:44it will be good.
01:19:46You have put that energy in the world.
01:19:48It will come back.
01:19:50The echo
01:19:52will bounce back.
01:19:54It's difficult to explain.
01:19:56It's difficult,
01:19:58but you are trying.
01:20:00Eat good things,
01:20:02think good things,
01:20:04do good things.
01:20:06Everything written in the Quran
01:20:08has a purpose.
01:20:10Science is proving
01:20:12what those things are.
01:20:14Frequency is very important.
01:20:16Thank you so much.
01:20:18It's difficult to
01:20:20explain your mistakes
01:20:22to everyone.
01:20:24Celebrities
01:20:26tell us
01:20:28what they have
01:20:30gone through.
01:20:32It's a big thing.
01:20:34People learn a lot from it.
01:20:36I have learned a lot
01:20:38from you.
01:20:40I have not done it.
01:20:42Let's do it on kids.
01:20:46Thank you so much.
01:20:48Good morning Pakistan.
01:20:50See you tomorrow.
01:20:52God bless.
01:21:22Music
01:21:24Music
01:21:26Music
01:21:28Music
01:21:30Music
01:21:32Music
01:21:34Music
01:21:36Music
01:21:38Music
01:21:40Music
01:21:42Music

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