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The most watched and loved Pakistani Entertainment channel is now on SoundCloud! Follow us here and listen to your favorite OSTs now! ♫ https://m.soundcloud.com/arydigitalhd
Host: Nida Yasir
Guest: Vaneezah Ahmed, Shermeen Ali, Maham Amir
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Timing: every Monday – Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital.
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigitalshow #arydigital
Join ARY Digital on Whatsapp 👉 https://bit.ly/3LnAbHU
Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/arydigitalasia 🔔
Download ARY ZAP: https://l.ead.me/bb9zI1
Pakistani Drama Industry's biggest Platform, ARY Digital, is the Hub of exceptional and uninterrupted entertainment. You can watch quality dramas with relatable stories, Original Sound Tracks, Telefilms, and a lot more impressive content in HD. Subscribe to the YouTube channel of ARY Digital to be entertained by the content you always wanted to watch.
The most watched and loved Pakistani Entertainment channel is now on SoundCloud! Follow us here and listen to your favorite OSTs now! ♫ https://m.soundcloud.com/arydigitalhd
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FunTranscript
00:00:00This morning has come, kissing your cheeks
00:00:12Swinging like the wind, going round and round
00:00:21This morning has come, smiling like this
00:00:31Root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu
00:00:36She is humming like this, she is waking everyone up
00:00:40Yes, in the flowery garden, the birds are chirping
00:00:50She is in the open, open, open, open
00:00:55She is a little mischievous, she is in mischief
00:01:00This morning has come
00:01:07Root tu root tu root tu root tu root tu
00:01:13She is in the open, open, open, open
00:01:17Assalam-o-Alaikum, good morning, good morning Pakistan
00:01:22How are you all? And how is your life?
00:01:26Our life is going well, we have settled down a little
00:01:31And when you go to a new house or a new area
00:01:36Or your setup changes, there is a change in the house
00:01:40Or any work is happening in the house
00:01:44After that, it takes time to settle
00:01:47And today I feel that we have settled a little
00:01:51Or if you still feel that there is a need to do something
00:01:55If there is a need to change something on our set
00:01:57Then please do share it as a family
00:02:00Today we are discussing a very important topic
00:02:05I discuss important topics every day
00:02:07I don't talk about such things anymore
00:02:10And today's topic is
00:02:12What did we learn from our mother?
00:02:14And what did we try as a mother?
00:02:17Actually, the first class of a child
00:02:21Is the mother's lap
00:02:23This is not a new thing, it is an old thing
00:02:26And it is like that
00:02:28There are a lot of sentences like
00:02:30If you want to look at your daughter, look at your mother
00:02:33If you think as a daughter that my mother is very strict
00:02:38My mother is very disciplined
00:02:40I can't be like my mother
00:02:42My mother is very straightforward
00:02:44My mother is very hardworking
00:02:46You don't even realize
00:02:48That with time, you start becoming like your mother
00:02:53As time goes by
00:02:56Sometimes I remember my mother's screams
00:03:00And panic in my mind
00:03:02Sometimes we used to say
00:03:04Mom, why are you screaming so much?
00:03:06Why are you creating panic?
00:03:07It will happen
00:03:08The same thing is slowly coming inside me
00:03:11It is coming
00:03:12And sometimes I stop
00:03:14Sometimes I stop
00:03:15I think
00:03:16When I look at myself in the mirror
00:03:18I have become like my mother
00:03:20And at that age
00:03:22I used to think it will happen
00:03:24We used to drag things
00:03:26We used to leave things
00:03:28But now it doesn't happen
00:03:30Because those things were slowly coming in
00:03:33The way my mother was being seen
00:03:36I have picked a lot of qualities from my mother
00:03:40I don't know
00:03:42Maybe those qualities are bad in people's eyes
00:03:45But you find all the qualities of your mother
00:03:49And you pick those
00:03:51So today, our celebrities
00:03:53Through this show
00:03:55Will tell us
00:03:56What did they learn from their mother?
00:03:58And what did they apply on their children?
00:04:02Or they couldn't apply on them
00:04:04There are a lot of children
00:04:07For example, I was a naughty girl
00:04:09My mother used to tell me
00:04:10And I didn't eat or drink
00:04:12She used to trouble me
00:04:13But my first child wasn't naughty
00:04:15She didn't trouble me that much
00:04:17So it depends
00:04:18There are a lot of things
00:04:19We learn from our mother
00:04:20But we don't get a chance to try
00:04:22Or we say that it was an old thing
00:04:25Let's make it new
00:04:27But still
00:04:28There are a lot of things told by our mother
00:04:31In your life
00:04:33Sometimes you remember
00:04:35And you say
00:04:36This is the right place
00:04:38To apply what your mother said
00:04:42Do you know what is the success of life?
00:04:44We know a lot of things
00:04:46But the timing
00:04:48What to say at what time
00:04:50And what to apply at what time
00:04:54This life is like a puzzle
00:04:56If you apply the right techniques in the right puzzles
00:05:00Then your life will be very successful
00:05:02And the definition of success for everyone is different
00:05:08Some people say
00:05:10Their family is complete
00:05:11Their children are on their feet
00:05:13Some people say
00:05:15They have earned a certain amount in life
00:05:18Some people have got that name
00:05:20Some people have reached where they wanted to reach
00:05:24Some people have earned money
00:05:26Earned name
00:05:27Earned love
00:05:28Earned love
00:05:30If you see
00:05:32The definition of success is different for everyone
00:05:35What is the definition of your success?
00:05:38And what did you learn from your mother?
00:05:41What did you apply on your children?
00:05:43Let's talk about it today
00:05:44Good morning Pakistan
00:05:45Stay with us after the break
00:05:55Welcome, welcome back
00:05:57Good morning Pakistan
00:05:58We have some mothers with us today
00:06:00Like our celebrity guest
00:06:02They are mothers
00:06:03Who are very conscious of their children
00:06:06Whether it is education or their physical appearance
00:06:10In the sense
00:06:11Eating and drinking
00:06:12Their nutrition actually
00:06:14So
00:06:15You can guess by talking
00:06:17And I think
00:06:18In today's program
00:06:20If you don't get 10 to 15 tips
00:06:24Then change my name
00:06:26That's why today's program is set
00:06:28The topic is
00:06:29What did we learn from our mother?
00:06:31And what did we test on our children?
00:06:33Let's welcome the first mother
00:06:34Today I am going to introduce her as a mother
00:06:37The first mother
00:06:38Whether she is a model
00:06:39Whether she is an actress
00:06:40Whether she is a business woman
00:06:43But above all
00:06:45She is a very loving mother
00:06:46Because I have seen her children
00:06:48Since they were in the womb
00:06:50Till they grew up
00:06:52And their hard work
00:06:54Can be seen in their children
00:06:56Let's welcome our lovely
00:06:58Vaneeza Ahmed
00:07:02Open it
00:07:06Hello
00:07:11Very good
00:07:12You are looking very beautiful
00:07:14But your set is looking so beautiful
00:07:16Thank you
00:07:18Come in
00:07:20I love it Nida
00:07:21You like it?
00:07:22I love it
00:07:23In the morning
00:07:24So many flowers
00:07:25I love it
00:07:26People will think she is in the garden
00:07:28Exactly
00:07:29Like I told you
00:07:30I sit in my garden every morning
00:07:32But this is beautiful
00:07:34Very nice
00:07:35I love the colours
00:07:36If you could praise the good people
00:07:38I wouldn't get fat
00:07:40I wouldn't get fat
00:07:42No, you won't get fat
00:07:44Because
00:07:46The previous set was also very good
00:07:48Colours were really nice
00:07:50But now
00:07:51The change is the exact opposite
00:07:53Of what it used to be
00:07:55Very feminine
00:07:57Yes
00:07:58It was a little experimental
00:08:00Everyone wants change
00:08:02Especially in their home
00:08:04So we have experimented
00:08:06With a dark wall
00:08:08And the furniture should be light
00:08:10Let's see the result
00:08:12Come in
00:08:13So my next
00:08:15Celebrity mother
00:08:17Obviously
00:08:19I wanted a mother
00:08:21Of every size
00:08:23So this mother
00:08:25Raised her daughter
00:08:27Single handed
00:08:29I would like to credit her
00:08:31It is very difficult
00:08:33But here you will get
00:08:35Very genuine tips
00:08:37So let's welcome
00:08:39Sharmeen Ali
00:08:50How are you?
00:08:52I can't get over this set
00:08:54Oh Haseen
00:08:56I feel like
00:08:58I have entered
00:09:00A Victorian era
00:09:02I am just literally tongue tied
00:09:04When I entered
00:09:06I could not believe my eyes
00:09:08You guys have done a wonderful job
00:09:10Thanks to our set department
00:09:12Absolutely
00:09:14Everyone's input
00:09:16Comes from the team
00:09:19But this is something
00:09:21Out of a story book
00:09:23Beautiful
00:09:25We will tell you a story
00:09:27A real story
00:09:29Please have a seat
00:09:31So the tips
00:09:33To raise a small baby
00:09:35In today's world
00:09:37We need help
00:09:39From today's mothers
00:09:41Who have seen this world
00:09:43From their mothers
00:09:45What did they learn
00:09:47Let's meet
00:09:49Our young mother
00:09:51Maham
00:10:01How are you?
00:10:03Haseen, you have made a set
00:10:05I don't think
00:10:07We can talk about it
00:10:09You changed the topic
00:10:11Let's just talk about your set
00:10:13It looks beautiful
00:10:15It looks like a cherry
00:10:17Blossom in Japan
00:10:19It looks beautiful
00:10:21And you look very nice
00:10:23Thank you
00:10:25It happens automatically
00:10:27Our women
00:10:29What do they like
00:10:31Home
00:10:33If you ask a woman
00:10:35She will say
00:10:37I want to have a home
00:10:39What is my life's wish
00:10:41I want to have a home
00:10:43Nowadays
00:10:45There is a lot of money
00:10:47To dye your hair
00:10:49You are right
00:10:51For a woman
00:10:53Her sanctuary
00:10:55Is her home
00:10:57I have learned this
00:10:59From my mother
00:11:01Where two money are connected
00:11:03It is at home
00:11:05I am so glad
00:11:07When you change the set
00:11:09It is a way to inspire
00:11:11Ideas are picked from here
00:11:13They are going to apply at home
00:11:15This is wonderful
00:11:17Whenever you want to take photos
00:11:19Come over to your set
00:11:21There is an instant moment
00:11:23In every corner
00:11:25I know
00:11:27Please invite me
00:11:29I will give you ideas
00:11:31We will ask our cameraman
00:11:33To change the color of the photos
00:11:35To a vintage theme
00:11:37It will have an impact
00:11:39We can't get over your set
00:11:41Very nice
00:11:43Beautiful
00:11:45When you meet your friends
00:11:47You get appreciation
00:11:49It is fun
00:11:51Let's move ahead
00:11:53What did you learn from your mother
00:11:55And what did you apply on your kids
00:11:57Let's start
00:11:59I have met your mother
00:12:01Your mother is a strong
00:12:03When I see her
00:12:05She looks like a strong lady
00:12:07When you were young
00:12:09What was her personality
00:12:11You can tell us
00:12:13She wasn't that strong
00:12:15Because we didn't live in Pakistan
00:12:17We lived abroad
00:12:19You know
00:12:21Her personality
00:12:23At that time
00:12:25My mother and I
00:12:27Were only 16 and a half
00:12:29She was younger
00:12:31I was born
00:12:33She is more like a sister
00:12:35I grew up with her
00:12:37I think you taught her
00:12:39Yes
00:12:41Sometimes
00:12:43I think
00:12:45When our daughters get married
00:12:47They are 16-17 years old
00:12:49Now they are 20-22
00:12:51They don't know how to raise their kids
00:12:53I was an old mother
00:12:55At the age of 40
00:12:57Compared to my mother
00:12:59At the age of 40
00:13:01I knew a lot more than my mother
00:13:03But a 17 year old girl
00:13:05Didn't know how to raise her kids
00:13:07She didn't know
00:13:09So her teaching
00:13:11Was by default
00:13:13She was alone
00:13:15When she was young
00:13:17We went abroad
00:13:19When I was 6
00:13:21Her grandmother
00:13:23Didn't teach her anything
00:13:25When you were abroad
00:13:27You didn't get help from your family
00:13:29When you got sick
00:13:31She didn't do anything
00:13:35She was alone
00:13:37Taking care of three children
00:13:39I taught her a lot
00:13:45She is still doing it
00:13:47She wakes up at night
00:13:49To watch her vlogs
00:13:51She gives me a lecture
00:13:53As if I'm her mother
00:13:55I tell her
00:13:57How important sleep is
00:13:59How important sleep is, how important food is, that's why I've become their mother now.
00:14:03It happens, doesn't it?
00:14:05It happens. At a certain time, we become the mothers of our mothers.
00:14:08You don't take your medicines, you don't go to the doctor for check-ups.
00:14:12And we get scolded a lot.
00:14:13Because Nida, at the end of the day, this is the problem with all of us.
00:14:17When we become mothers, we don't think about ourselves.
00:14:22We think about our children, our family. We take ourselves last.
00:14:27I would like to talk about this today.
00:14:29How important it is for mothers to take care of themselves.
00:14:33Prioritise yourself.
00:14:35If they don't prioritise themselves, how will they take care of their children?
00:14:37Like I did. When my children were born, I stopped thinking about myself and taking care of myself.
00:14:43It is very important that if a mother takes care of herself, she can teach her children the right things.
00:14:48Because children learn from you.
00:14:50How you are.
00:14:52You know, they see that.
00:14:53If they set an example, then the children will follow it.
00:14:56I think my mother taught me a lot about these things.
00:15:00Because she was alone, there was no one to help her.
00:15:03So, a little bit of discipline came from my mother.
00:15:09The basic things that came in nature came from my mother.
00:15:12The everyday things may be my own, but the things in nature...
00:15:17Okay, if we conclude that you picked discipline from your mother, then?
00:15:23And...
00:15:25The handling of things.
00:15:27To take hardship.
00:15:29And to convert it into something positive.
00:15:34So, this happened in our life.
00:15:36First my father's death, then my sister's.
00:15:38I saw my mother, how strong she became.
00:15:41So, I think the strength that I have is from my mother.
00:15:45From your mother. Exactly.
00:15:47So, let's go to you now, Shamim.
00:15:50First, I just want to ask, what did you learn from your mother?
00:15:53Then I will come to the kids.
00:15:55So, like your mother,
00:15:57the way you discuss,
00:15:59I think,
00:16:01she takes care of herself.
00:16:03She has always been in the kit,
00:16:05but she is also a strong woman.
00:16:07Very strong.
00:16:09Mashallah, Mashallah, my mother is a very strong woman.
00:16:13To the point where I would say that we have been together for 5 months, Mashallah.
00:16:15And I don't think that the strength that my mother has,
00:16:19is the same strength that we have in anyone.
00:16:21Because my father used to live abroad,
00:16:23for business, for job purposes.
00:16:25So, my mother raised 5 daughters here,
00:16:27almost all alone.
00:16:29Which was not an easy task.
00:16:315 daughters of all ages.
00:16:33My elder sister and I are 19 years apart.
00:16:35So, you can imagine,
00:16:37she had daughters of all ages at home.
00:16:39And the times were such,
00:16:41at that time,
00:16:43that they used to raise the girls very well.
00:16:47So, my mother has worked very hard.
00:16:49And single-handedly,
00:16:51what I have learnt from my mother,
00:16:53my mother has taught me that
00:16:55a woman can do everything herself.
00:16:57Absolutely.
00:16:59A woman does not need a man.
00:17:01That is what I have learnt from my mother.
00:17:03Because I have seen my mother working as a mechanic.
00:17:05I have seen my mother cutting groceries.
00:17:07Obviously, your father was not even there.
00:17:09My mother has cooked food.
00:17:11She was an amazing homemaker.
00:17:13The way my mother kept the house,
00:17:15and I have learnt a lot from my mother.
00:17:17Because at that time,
00:17:19there were 5 daughters and they had to get married.
00:17:21So, my mother,
00:17:23from the first day of her life,
00:17:25she spent very sensibly.
00:17:27Because my mother had to
00:17:29settle her 5 daughters in her house.
00:17:31So, this is what I have learnt from my mother,
00:17:33that even with less money,
00:17:35you can have
00:17:37a very well-maintained lifestyle.
00:17:39So,
00:17:41living a good life with less money,
00:17:43the art of living a good life,
00:17:45I have learnt from my mother.
00:17:47Amazing.
00:17:49And Maham,
00:17:51let's come to your mother.
00:17:53I think,
00:17:55I am becoming kind of a reflection now.
00:17:57Because the things I used to see in my childhood,
00:17:59I used to say,
00:18:01what is the need of this? What is the need of that?
00:18:03I started to do the same things.
00:18:05But that topic later,
00:18:07if we talk about a strong woman,
00:18:09or if people say that you have a very strong personality,
00:18:11I think, I got it
00:18:13and it has been passed on to me from my mother.
00:18:15Because I have always seen her doing exactly
00:18:17how Sharmeen said,
00:18:19my mother is going to a mechanic,
00:18:21she is also looking after the household chores,
00:18:23she is also looking after my brother.
00:18:25She has a very strong personality.
00:18:27Because I was very young when my father fell sick.
00:18:29So, even at that time,
00:18:31my mother was father and mother both at that point.
00:18:33Because my father was very sick,
00:18:35so my mother was also looking after him.
00:18:37But at the same time,
00:18:39she was also looking after both of us.
00:18:41And at the same time,
00:18:43I have seen her doing so many big things in life.
00:18:45And I have always seen her,
00:18:47obviously she is a human being,
00:18:49she feels for a time being,
00:18:51that this can't happen, what is next?
00:18:53But I have always seen her,
00:18:55we see very cute pictures and quotes,
00:18:57that there is a mama duck sitting with
00:18:59small ducklings holding her.
00:19:01My mother has kept me and my brother exactly the same.
00:19:03And she has passed on that thing to us,
00:19:05that how to see everything,
00:19:07how to be strong,
00:19:09how to talk to people,
00:19:11how to get up,
00:19:13how to sit, everything.
00:19:15My mother has always taught me,
00:19:17that you don't have to suppress anyone.
00:19:19If you have a point,
00:19:21then keep it.
00:19:23You don't have to be rude to somebody,
00:19:25but you have to come across very strong,
00:19:27so that people know,
00:19:29that she has her own individual personality.
00:19:31I got that thing from my mother.
00:19:33Now see, the common woman,
00:19:35strength or strong woman,
00:19:37a lot of people don't understand.
00:19:39They think she is rude,
00:19:41rude or something.
00:19:43There are a lot of such women.
00:19:45So the definition of strong,
00:19:47is different in everyone's life.
00:19:49So if I ask you,
00:19:51what is a strong woman,
00:19:53a strong mother?
00:19:55What do you think?
00:19:57I think, in my eyes,
00:19:59my mother's personality,
00:20:01strength comes,
00:20:03when you believe in your,
00:20:05you know,
00:20:07every woman has a sixth sense,
00:20:09especially a mother.
00:20:11Because the energy,
00:20:13when you believe in that,
00:20:15when it comes from God,
00:20:17I think that is the strength,
00:20:19that you believe in.
00:20:21I don't know how to explain,
00:20:23in Urdu,
00:20:25when you believe in.
00:20:27We will come after the break,
00:20:29and we will think about it,
00:20:31and we will translate it in Urdu.
00:20:33What is a strong woman,
00:20:35a strong mother?
00:20:37We will come after the break.
00:20:39Good morning.
00:20:45Welcome, welcome back.
00:20:47Good morning Pakistan.
00:20:49Today we have a very interesting topic.
00:20:51I have done such topics before,
00:20:53but I don't know why,
00:20:55every time I feel,
00:20:57that sometimes,
00:20:59it becomes very important.
00:21:01So we were talking about,
00:21:03what are strong mothers?
00:21:05A strong woman,
00:21:07who speaks for her rights,
00:21:09who is not rude,
00:21:11but if she has a point of view,
00:21:13then don't suppress it,
00:21:15but present it in a way,
00:21:17with respect.
00:21:19Let me tell you,
00:21:21what I call my mother strong,
00:21:23I have seen my mother,
00:21:25that everyone has ups and downs in life,
00:21:27there are ups and downs,
00:21:29but I have never seen my mother,
00:21:31breaking down.
00:21:33She always stayed collected,
00:21:35because she knew,
00:21:37that she has 5 daughters,
00:21:39she has to take care of her daughters,
00:21:41and I would say,
00:21:43to some extent,
00:21:45she has to take care of her father,
00:21:47he is her strength.
00:21:49And this is what they say,
00:21:51behind every successful man,
00:21:53there is a woman.
00:21:55My mother has given me this power,
00:21:57that she has made a man stronger,
00:21:59physically,
00:22:01but emotionally,
00:22:03she has made a woman stronger.
00:22:05So I have seen my mother,
00:22:07coming out of hardships,
00:22:09very sensibly,
00:22:11very calmly and collected.
00:22:13Yes, she is short tempered,
00:22:15and over the time,
00:22:17her temper has deteriorated,
00:22:19because obviously,
00:22:21a person gets tired,
00:22:23but still,
00:22:25I have never seen,
00:22:27that my mother had a problem,
00:22:29and she said,
00:22:31what should I do now?
00:22:33I can't survive this.
00:22:35And this thing,
00:22:37has come in us.
00:22:39I have adopted this thing,
00:22:41that I used to think,
00:22:43that I am very weak,
00:22:45my mother's personality is polar opposite.
00:22:47Mother is a very strong,
00:22:49outspoken woman,
00:22:51and my mother's personality was opposite,
00:22:53that until I started acting,
00:22:55I couldn't even go to the market alone.
00:22:57But when I read Nida,
00:22:59and when such a turn of life came,
00:23:01then it was not difficult for me,
00:23:03to take my stand,
00:23:05because I grew up seeing this.
00:23:07And you don't even know,
00:23:09that it becomes a passion in you.
00:23:11As you have been asked,
00:23:13what did you learn,
00:23:15and what did you apply on your children,
00:23:17so we have planned it,
00:23:19so that we can conclude,
00:23:21and tell you everything.
00:23:23So, who is the first card?
00:23:25Bravery.
00:23:27You told us about bravery,
00:23:29learn from your mother.
00:23:31Did you apply bravery on your children too?
00:23:33Do you think your daughter is as brave as you?
00:23:35One is,
00:23:37and the other is not.
00:23:39And I tell every woman,
00:23:41that every one of us,
00:23:43has the strength,
00:23:45that we are talking about.
00:23:47We don't even know.
00:23:49The women who think,
00:23:51that we are weak,
00:23:53you are not weak,
00:23:55Allah has not made you weak,
00:23:57especially if he has made you a mother.
00:23:59The strength that we are talking about,
00:24:01comes naturally to you,
00:24:03when Allah chooses you,
00:24:05to become a mother.
00:24:07That is why, as Sharmeen said,
00:24:09emotional strength is more important
00:24:11than a man in a woman.
00:24:13And unfortunately,
00:24:15we consider a man's strength,
00:24:17as our weakness.
00:24:19It is not our weakness,
00:24:21it is our power,
00:24:23our emotional regulation.
00:24:25And in today's world,
00:24:27we have to teach our daughters too.
00:24:29What I am teaching,
00:24:31which I didn't learn from my mother,
00:24:33I learned from Google.
00:24:35I like that.
00:24:37In our mothers' time,
00:24:39the way of living was totally different.
00:24:41The internet is a very far thing.
00:24:43In the olden days,
00:24:45we used to learn from our grandmothers,
00:24:47from the joint family system.
00:24:49Grandmother said something,
00:24:51mother said something.
00:24:53Now, we live independently.
00:24:55So, how can you learn independently
00:24:57from your mother?
00:24:59So, you learn from Google.
00:25:01And from Google,
00:25:03you get the benefit
00:25:05that you have certified doctors,
00:25:07whose work is that
00:25:09not every mother can be a psychologist,
00:25:11that you have to find
00:25:13your inner strength.
00:25:15Allah has given you that strength.
00:25:17It is in everyone.
00:25:19And,
00:25:21believe in Allah.
00:25:23This is what I learned from my mother.
00:25:25I think, women understand
00:25:27when, like you said,
00:25:29my mother was not strong with time.
00:25:31She was.
00:25:33She was stronger than before,
00:25:35but she got to know later.
00:25:37She got to know later,
00:25:39but she had to face it.
00:25:41My mother used to say,
00:25:43I used to think,
00:25:45I am very weak,
00:25:47my mother is very strong.
00:25:49So, she used to say,
00:25:51I have taught you,
00:25:53and when the time comes,
00:25:55you will survive.
00:25:57I know this.
00:25:59And,
00:26:01she was not running after me
00:26:03when I was not eating.
00:26:05She said,
00:26:07my child is not eating.
00:26:09My child has a cough,
00:26:11a cold, he is sick.
00:26:13Yes, there are problems.
00:26:15But, with time,
00:26:17for example,
00:26:19my child had fever,
00:26:21and I had to take him to the hospital.
00:26:23Because, we cannot
00:26:25self-medicate all the time.
00:26:27So, going to the hospital is not a bad thing.
00:26:29You can do everything yourself,
00:26:31it is better than doing it wrong.
00:26:33In many homes, it is understood,
00:26:35I will say one more thing,
00:26:37I have often seen mothers
00:26:39not taking the decision themselves.
00:26:41Can we take the child to the hospital?
00:26:43If my husband comes, he will tell me.
00:26:45If someone older comes, he will tell me.
00:26:47Although, it is not a big deal.
00:26:49You are the mother, you know what is needed.
00:26:51You know better.
00:26:53It is the same thing,
00:26:55you should have this confidence
00:26:57and this bravery,
00:26:59that you can actually stand up for your child,
00:27:01and say, my child is really sick,
00:27:03it doesn't matter who is there or not.
00:27:05Maybe, the way grandmothers
00:27:07and grandmothers handled it,
00:27:09was different, because the times were different.
00:27:11Like they said, you should have confidence,
00:27:13he is your child,
00:27:15you know your child better.
00:27:17Yes, don't self-medicate,
00:27:19but you can understand
00:27:21what your child is doing.
00:27:23That's what I am saying.
00:27:25I didn't learn it from my mother,
00:27:27I learned it from Google.
00:27:29To trust myself.
00:27:31You have to use a lot of things.
00:27:33A lot of things are from the past,
00:27:35a lot of things are from the present.
00:27:37And if you want to live a sensible life,
00:27:39you have to filter those things,
00:27:41that it applies to my child.
00:27:43It is not necessary that
00:27:45whatever applies to me,
00:27:47I will apply it to my child.
00:27:49Earlier, women didn't have confidence,
00:27:51we didn't know
00:27:53what is better or not.
00:27:55Now, because of the internet,
00:27:57you know everything.
00:27:59If you want to do anything,
00:28:01ask and do it.
00:28:03Earlier, they said,
00:28:05without thinking,
00:28:07you gave the responsibility of the child
00:28:09to someone else.
00:28:11You need to be aware
00:28:13of what you are doing,
00:28:15when you are becoming a mother.
00:28:17It should be a conscious decision
00:28:19to become a mother,
00:28:21not because you have to tick
00:28:23that you are married,
00:28:25you have a son,
00:28:27because we think that
00:28:29, you will grow up on your own.
00:28:31The consciousness parenting
00:28:33is very important,
00:28:35you should think and do everything
00:28:37for your baby.
00:28:39But because you are so young,
00:28:41when you have kids,
00:28:43they don't think,
00:28:45things happen on their own.
00:28:47So, sometimes go with the flow,
00:28:49don't take so much stress.
00:28:51Now, let's go to the next card.
00:28:53Investigation.
00:29:25And if we talk to our kids today, they will say, this is very wrong in our privacy.
00:29:34Boundaries, please.
00:29:36Please, what is this?
00:29:38We didn't get much permission to go out, but if we had to go somewhere,
00:29:44then mom used to make sure that whoever is going, talk to their mom.
00:29:49Discuss the whole plan with their mom that the kids will sit at your house.
00:29:53I will drop you at this time, I will pick you at this time.
00:29:56Don't go out anywhere, don't let the kid talk to anyone on the phone.
00:30:00My mother was very very strict.
00:30:02A little more strict than necessary.
00:30:04But I have this habit too.
00:30:07Obviously, because the times have changed.
00:30:09I can't do everything that my mom used to do.
00:30:12Because these days my daughter is 13 years old, she is not going to tolerate it.
00:30:16But I do make sure that whoever is going, I talk to their mom.
00:30:21I make sure that the house where she has gone, she is there.
00:30:24There is no other plan from there, she shouldn't go out.
00:30:27Because see, it's not about trusting your child.
00:30:29It's about the situation, current situation we are living in.
00:30:32The situation is really very bad.
00:30:34Your kids go out of the house and go to a restaurant.
00:30:37God forbid, there is an emergency, there is a mishap.
00:30:40How will you keep tracking the kids all the time?
00:30:43Never use the phone.
00:30:44As you are saying, I really liked what my mom said.
00:30:47After a certain age, she kept investigating and keeping an eye on us.
00:30:51Whether it was by picking up the phone or at night.
00:30:53Nowhere.
00:30:54There is no permission to stay at a cousin's house.
00:30:56You have to stay during the day, you have to do it during the day.
00:30:58So she made some policies.
00:31:02But after a certain time, she became very liberal.
00:31:06Really?
00:31:07Yes.
00:31:08Like we used to go to another city for shoots.
00:31:11When I started working, we used to go to another city.
00:31:16My mom didn't go with me.
00:31:18She knew that I had become a chicken.
00:31:23I used to get very irritated.
00:31:27What is this?
00:31:28I can't go out anywhere.
00:31:29Mom and dad both.
00:31:30And if they get permission with difficulty.
00:31:31When it was new, all the friends will go.
00:31:34Someone's birthday or something.
00:31:36To have anything.
00:31:37As good as a pizza.
00:31:38Exactly.
00:31:39Dad used to say, okay, go.
00:31:40No problem.
00:31:41But they used to make sure that after dropping, mom and dad also sit at some other table and eat.
00:31:46What is this?
00:31:47This is my privacy.
00:31:48I have my friends.
00:31:49I used to get so irritated.
00:31:50But now I understand that when I grew up, everything changed a lot.
00:31:55I think it was very important to make that base.
00:31:58Exactly.
00:31:59I was going to say that.
00:32:00It was very important.
00:32:01At that time, things were not understood.
00:32:02But as a parent, now I understand that if my daughter is 2.5 years old or 3 years old,
00:32:07I still think that she will go to school.
00:32:09So how do I do this?
00:32:10It will be here.
00:32:11I see my friends who have children.
00:32:12How do they deal with their children?
00:32:14They have exactly the same thing that happened to us in childhood.
00:32:17Mothers are watching.
00:32:18Okay, don't go to the terrace for so long.
00:32:19Stand there.
00:32:20What do you have to do there?
00:32:21Who do you have to talk to at night?
00:32:22Mobile phones were found so late.
00:32:24That too because the center is far away.
00:32:26So that's why you need a mobile phone.
00:32:27Apart from that, there was no permission.
00:32:29So I think it was very important.
00:32:30And with this, I explained one thing to my husband too.
00:32:34At a certain time.
00:32:36If a mother puts some restrictions on her daughter, then it doesn't feel bad.
00:32:42If a father has something, then he should tell his mother.
00:32:45He should not keep his relationship with his daughter like this.
00:32:48What are you doing?
00:32:49Wear a dupatta.
00:32:50Do this, do that.
00:32:51Because then it becomes bitter.
00:32:52Exactly.
00:32:53If he is missing something, he is a father.
00:32:55He has a right.
00:32:56And parenting should be from both sides.
00:32:59But if I had explained this to my husband,
00:33:01I said if you feel anything, then don't say it directly.
00:33:05Tell me.
00:33:06Your relationship should be so good.
00:33:09It should be so good.
00:33:11That it will shine in his personality.
00:33:15Do you know Nida?
00:33:16I'm sorry.
00:33:17You said in the beginning that I did it single-handedly.
00:33:20I would like to correct you that I didn't do it single-handedly.
00:33:23My daughter has an amazing father.
00:33:26He is a hands-on father.
00:33:28Okay.
00:33:29But this is very good in him.
00:33:31Although he is of a conservative mindset,
00:33:34but if he doesn't like something,
00:33:37if it's not sitting well with him,
00:33:40he calls me and says,
00:33:42whatever she is doing, explain it to her.
00:33:44Or you see, it's your decision.
00:33:46Or if the daughter, because the father is more lenient,
00:33:49the mother is strict,
00:33:50then she tries to get permission from the father.
00:33:52So his answer is, ask your mother.
00:33:55Same here.
00:33:56Ask your mother.
00:33:57Thank God, we don't have a conflict.
00:34:00So in co-parenting, it's very easy.
00:34:03If both the parents are on the same page.
00:34:05So I'm very lucky that way.
00:34:07He's been a wonderful father to her.
00:34:09Alhamdulillah.
00:34:11This is very important.
00:34:13Next.
00:34:14Hygiene.
00:34:15Hygiene.
00:34:17Yes.
00:34:18I think this is something that everyone should have.
00:34:21Everyone should have this.
00:34:23No one has this.
00:34:24No one has this.
00:34:25No one has this.
00:34:26Yes, you're right.
00:34:27Some people have this.
00:34:28My mother has taught me this since childhood.
00:34:31Whether it's cold or snowy,
00:34:34whether it's hot,
00:34:35even if you have to sit clean five times a day,
00:34:37my mother used to say, no.
00:34:38You have to change.
00:34:39You have to sit here.
00:34:41I have this bad habit.
00:34:43I don't know if it's bad.
00:34:44People get irritated.
00:34:45If you sit barefoot or come from outside,
00:34:47your feet will be washed first.
00:34:49Your hands, feet, mouth will be washed here and there.
00:34:51Even if I haven't taken a shower.
00:34:53I just got home.
00:34:54I don't do anything.
00:34:55It's a habit.
00:34:56I passed it on to my daughter.
00:34:57It's important.
00:34:58She's almost three years old.
00:35:00She has this habit.
00:35:01It's very important.
00:35:02I had this bad habit of roaming around barefoot.
00:35:05I didn't wear shoes.
00:35:06It was a carpeted house.
00:35:08My mother used to follow me.
00:35:09After that, my mother started scaring me.
00:35:11She said, your feet will grow.
00:35:12I said, if I grow this much,
00:35:13my feet will grow as well.
00:35:16My daughter does exactly the same.
00:35:18Barefoot, barefoot.
00:35:19I tell her, look, my feet will grow.
00:35:20Your feet will turn like me.
00:35:21She gets scared and wears shoes.
00:35:23There's nothing wrong with your feet.
00:35:24Even my feet are big.
00:35:25No, no, not in that way.
00:35:26Of course not.
00:35:27It's a good thing to walk barefoot.
00:35:28I told her, I have this problem.
00:35:31Sitting on the bed.
00:35:32She's absolutely right.
00:35:33If you walk barefoot at a young age,
00:35:36your feet will grow.
00:35:38Really?
00:35:39My mother told me the same.
00:35:41I still live with that fear.
00:35:42Okay.
00:35:43I still live with that fear.
00:35:44Because it's a normal size.
00:35:467, 8.
00:35:47It's a normal size.
00:35:48Okay.
00:35:49Now that you're talking about it,
00:35:51I didn't learn this from my mother.
00:35:53Because this happened to us.
00:35:54We were tall.
00:35:55Yes.
00:35:56So my father,
00:35:57my brother is 6'3".
00:35:58My mother is 5'8".
00:36:00So my father had this fear that
00:36:04our feet will grow.
00:36:05That's why.
00:36:06I was so used to wearing sneakers
00:36:09that I always wore sneakers.
00:36:11Now my daughters,
00:36:13Mashallah, are quite tall.
00:36:15They are 12 years old and
00:36:18Her father and mother are tall.
00:36:20Exactly. She's 5'7".
00:36:21And her shoes are 9".
00:36:24Which is taller than me.
00:36:26So I didn't do what my parents
00:36:29used to torture me.
00:36:30They used to make you wear small shoes.
00:36:31Yes. They didn't let me wear big shoes.
00:36:32Really?
00:36:33They used to tell me to wear small shoes.
00:36:34My feet had to be small.
00:36:35So I got used to wearing tight shoes.
00:36:37Wait a minute.
00:36:38They will get good shoes in the sale.
00:36:40They will get good shoes in the sale.
00:36:41But now they have such big feet.
00:36:439 years old.
00:36:44See, this is true.
00:36:469 years old.
00:36:47Let's come back after the break.
00:36:49Then we will discuss it again.
00:36:51Good morning, Pakistan.
00:36:58Welcome. Welcome back.
00:36:59Good morning, Pakistan.
00:37:00So today we are discussing
00:37:02what we learned from our mother
00:37:04and what we apply on our children.
00:37:06Do we apply it or not?
00:37:08You will know those things today.
00:37:10Did you tell them?
00:37:11We were talking about hygiene.
00:37:13We were talking about bathing, washing and cleaning.
00:37:15Sometimes my husband tells me
00:37:17that I will scratch my child.
00:37:19After bathing.
00:37:21But I think it is necessary.
00:37:23I can't tolerate it.
00:37:24It is not necessary.
00:37:25For God's sake.
00:37:26I don't know.
00:37:27Before going to sleep at night,
00:37:29it should be a clean outfit to go to bed.
00:37:31Doctor told me that I did this
00:37:33with my child.
00:37:35And she has got eczema.
00:37:37Oh lord.
00:37:38Doctor told me that
00:37:40there are natural microbes on our skin
00:37:42which are necessary for our child.
00:37:44And we wash it off
00:37:46and spoil its skin.
00:37:48Because we use so much soap.
00:37:50In baby lotion, baby soap.
00:37:52There are so many chemicals.
00:37:54Toxic chemicals.
00:37:55In powder, talcum powder.
00:37:57For God's sake.
00:37:58Don't use it on your children.
00:37:59The one which is applied on the face.
00:38:00Yes.
00:38:01I learned this from my mother.
00:38:03Use natural things on your children's skin.
00:38:05Don't use soap.
00:38:07No, I don't.
00:38:09Because they are not dirty.
00:38:11But those who have played
00:38:13are important.
00:38:15Sweaty.
00:38:16That way, yes.
00:38:17When children are growing up,
00:38:19they sweat a lot at a certain age.
00:38:21Yes.
00:38:22Especially when they are 12 or 13.
00:38:24Use it regularly.
00:38:26The children who have come from school
00:38:28or college,
00:38:30it is important to make them aware.
00:38:32It is important.
00:38:33Especially from the parents.
00:38:35That this shouldn't happen.
00:38:37Of course.
00:38:39It is important to take care of your personal hygiene.
00:38:42It's just that I have gotten it from my mother.
00:38:44And I want to pass that on to her.
00:38:46It's very important.
00:38:47I don't want her to go to anyone
00:38:49or see anyone.
00:38:51I get very uncomfortable.
00:38:53Somebody is not.
00:38:54It has a body odor.
00:38:55I just don't like it.
00:38:56And find out why the body odor is there.
00:38:58Yes, exactly.
00:38:59There is no need for it.
00:39:00You are eating something.
00:39:01There is a hormonal imbalance.
00:39:02Exactly.
00:39:03But it is not done in our country.
00:39:04It is not even told.
00:39:05You can wear the clothes you have kept.
00:39:07Repeating it is not a problem.
00:39:08But if the clothes are dirty,
00:39:09if you wear it,
00:39:10it won't smell.
00:39:11And you wash the clothes.
00:39:12But you don't wear the burkha.
00:39:13You don't wash it.
00:39:14So it is important.
00:39:15Yes.
00:39:16And like your body odor is so much.
00:39:19You don't do anything.
00:39:21You don't like your face at all.
00:39:22So all these things
00:39:23have been in my mind since childhood.
00:39:26And because you will put it in your child.
00:39:28Yes.
00:39:29Otherwise,
00:39:30they don't become your friends.
00:39:31You are self-aware.
00:39:33You are self-aware.
00:39:34That this thing is a problem.
00:39:35I mean,
00:39:36our children,
00:39:37in the group of their friends,
00:39:38if there is someone like that,
00:39:39they used to keep his name.
00:39:40And they used to discuss with us.
00:39:42His smell is like this.
00:39:44He enters the room.
00:39:46So this happens.
00:39:47Such things happen.
00:39:48Exactly.
00:39:49A person who doesn't look good in preparation
00:39:51has a bad smell.
00:39:53Yes.
00:39:54You think that you are ready from above.
00:39:56But you have such a bad smell.
00:39:58There was a concept in our house too.
00:39:59Whether there is a fragrance or not.
00:40:01There is a bad smell.
00:40:02There is a bad smell.
00:40:03Whether there is a fragrance or not.
00:40:04People don't have those methods.
00:40:07They don't even know.
00:40:08They use those bad body sprays.
00:40:10Because of which they don't know
00:40:11that when they meet with a bad smell with sweat,
00:40:13it becomes a bad smell.
00:40:15They don't understand that
00:40:16they have to clean the sweat first.
00:40:18But how to clean the sweat?
00:40:19Naturally,
00:40:20you know on the set
00:40:22that this is happening with people.
00:40:24And what we call common,
00:40:27I am not calling you common.
00:40:28You are not common at all.
00:40:29You are also very special.
00:40:30Like all of us are special.
00:40:32So if the people don't have the means,
00:40:34then use it properly.
00:40:36That is the best thing.
00:40:37Whether you do it or not,
00:40:38you have to teach your sons, daughters,
00:40:40husband, especially husband.
00:40:45You have to teach your children.
00:40:47You have to teach your husband too.
00:40:48I don't know,
00:40:49his mother didn't teach him.
00:40:50Tell us the method too.
00:40:51Tell us the method too.
00:40:52Method?
00:40:53When I take a bath,
00:40:54I have become used to Karachi.
00:40:56Although I live in Islamabad now,
00:40:58I still take a bath in a bucket.
00:41:00I don't take a shower.
00:41:01I still take a bath in a bucket.
00:41:03So I have become used to the fitkari.
00:41:05I have kept fitkari in every bathroom.
00:41:10The one that I gargle,
00:41:12I put it in my glass too.
00:41:14It is good for teeth and mouth.
00:41:16It is antibacterial.
00:41:17And I put it in my bucket.
00:41:19And the one that is a little hard,
00:41:21but it has a portion,
00:41:23I actually do use it all over my body.
00:41:25As a roll-on.
00:41:27Yes, I use it as a roll-on.
00:41:29And let me tell you one more thing,
00:41:30very soon,
00:41:31not now,
00:41:32it will take a month or two,
00:41:34but I will get my natural deodorant too.
00:41:36Very good.
00:41:37Natural deodorant,
00:41:38because even if you use other deodorants,
00:41:42it can also cause cancer.
00:41:46It is very important
00:41:48that whatever you are buying,
00:41:51there is everything about it on the internet.
00:41:53Earlier, in our time,
00:41:55our mother used to say,
00:41:56use this, we did it,
00:41:57we didn't think about it.
00:41:58So it is very important
00:42:00that you read information about it.
00:42:02Whatever you use,
00:42:04but do use something natural.
00:42:06Whether it is the smell of your mouth,
00:42:08or the smell of your body.
00:42:10And it also comes from the feet.
00:42:12For that too, pitkari.
00:42:14Pitkari, baking soda,
00:42:16the problem of shoes is in many children.
00:42:20So when my children's shoes come,
00:42:22although they hate it,
00:42:24I put baking soda on them.
00:42:26Because when they sweat,
00:42:28they will get hungry.
00:42:29And if they close it in the cupboard,
00:42:31then I leave it in an open place.
00:42:33And baking soda will get rid of the sweat.
00:42:35So these are 2-3 things
00:42:36that we learn from our mothers.
00:42:38And all these things are very basic.
00:42:40Everyone can get it.
00:42:41They are not very expensive.
00:42:42Fidelity is always kept in my bathroom.
00:42:44It is a crystal bar.
00:42:46You can get it softened by rubbing it.
00:42:48So if you can apply it in your underarms.
00:42:50In fact, even before makeup,
00:42:51people put pitkari in water
00:42:53and apply it all over the face.
00:42:54It gets rid of the seeds.
00:42:55It gets rid of the seeds
00:42:56because it is anti-bacterial.
00:42:57It is so good that you...
00:42:58I mean, I don't like it
00:42:59when I hug someone
00:43:00and there is darkness in front of their eyes.
00:43:02No, no.
00:43:03It happened during a shoot.
00:43:05We were shooting in London.
00:43:06I won't mention the name.
00:43:08There is a very big star
00:43:10of our Pakistan.
00:43:12This is going on.
00:43:14We will have to tell.
00:43:16But one of them
00:43:17used to have a very bad body odor.
00:43:19So my...
00:43:20And I am a little...
00:43:22Outspoken.
00:43:23Yes, right?
00:43:24So my...
00:43:25They gave me the responsibility
00:43:27all the set people.
00:43:28That whenever it happens,
00:43:29you have to cure them.
00:43:31First, I brought everyone to the set
00:43:33and gave deodorant.
00:43:34To everyone.
00:43:35Yes, to everyone.
00:43:36Then every time our show started...
00:43:38I mean, before the scene started,
00:43:40I used to give chewing gum to them.
00:43:42We were in London.
00:43:43So I...
00:43:44I couldn't give soft.
00:43:45I didn't have it.
00:43:46So after the 10th day,
00:43:47they say,
00:43:48what is your problem?
00:43:49Why do you keep giving me
00:43:50chewing gum all the time?
00:43:51I said, no, no.
00:43:52I also have a habit
00:43:53that my jaw will become thin
00:43:54if I eat chewing gum.
00:43:57So these things happen to you.
00:44:00That people have a problem.
00:44:02So get your stomach checked.
00:44:04Get your gut checked.
00:44:05Whether it's the smell of the mouth,
00:44:07whether it's the smell of the body
00:44:08or the smell of the feet.
00:44:09It means that you have
00:44:10something wrong inside.
00:44:11There is bacteria
00:44:12because of which the smell is coming.
00:44:13So this happens.
00:44:14It happens every day.
00:44:15That someone is sitting
00:44:16in the office
00:44:17and he is smelling so bad.
00:44:18How do you make him smell?
00:44:19In the slides,
00:44:20someone is like this with you
00:44:21and they make your hair like this.
00:44:22Now stop talking about the smell.
00:44:24Just moving on.
00:44:25Hygiene.
00:44:26Hygiene.
00:44:27Learn from your mother.
00:44:28Learn from your mother.
00:44:29If your mother is not teaching you,
00:44:30then learn from Google Aunty.
00:44:31Show me the next slide.
00:44:32These people are not...
00:44:33They won't keep quiet.
00:44:34People are eating papayas and tea.
00:44:36Self-independent.
00:44:37Yes.
00:44:38This is my mother.
00:44:39I think she gave me
00:44:40self-independence.
00:44:43Self-independence.
00:44:44Yes.
00:44:45You...
00:44:46What she said earlier,
00:44:48I learned from my mother.
00:44:49Definitely.
00:44:50On our decisions,
00:44:52what we do,
00:44:54we should treat our children
00:44:58like children.
00:44:59But Allah gave us
00:45:01an intuition,
00:45:03a power.
00:45:05So I am applying that
00:45:07on my children.
00:45:09That I listen to them.
00:45:11I let them be independent.
00:45:13You tell me.
00:45:14If I don't want to eat anything,
00:45:15I say, no problem.
00:45:16I don't feel hungry.
00:45:17I don't want to eat.
00:45:18Because I don't like this.
00:45:19So I let them be independent.
00:45:21Okay, tell me.
00:45:22What do you like?
00:45:24Or if they have to make a decision,
00:45:26I encourage their decision-making.
00:45:29That they get used to it.
00:45:31That they make that.
00:45:32Otherwise, what happens with us is
00:45:33that the children say,
00:45:34no, you can't do this.
00:45:35You can't take this decision.
00:45:36So that doubt starts to arise.
00:45:39Especially the first seven years of your life.
00:45:42We live in doubt.
00:45:44That what we thought,
00:45:45what we understood.
00:45:47Like she said,
00:45:48even if you are going somewhere,
00:45:49whether you reach or not,
00:45:50you don't have that independence.
00:45:52You become reliant on your parents.
00:45:54On your mother especially.
00:45:56For every decision that has to be made.
00:45:58This has come in my younger daughter.
00:46:01When she was small,
00:46:02she used to go to the bathroom.
00:46:03So she used to come and say,
00:46:04can I go to the bathroom?
00:46:05She used to say, yes, yes, of course.
00:46:07She used to come and ask me ten times a day.
00:46:10And I would be like,
00:46:11of course you can do it.
00:46:12Go, please.
00:46:13Don't ask me.
00:46:14Even now,
00:46:15even the elders ask me,
00:46:16can I wear this?
00:46:17You tell me,
00:46:18which one should I choose?
00:46:19Don't do this with the kids.
00:46:21Which we do a lot.
00:46:23So let them be independent
00:46:25on their own,
00:46:26take their own decisions.
00:46:27Because they have to do this all their life.
00:46:29If we don't teach them now,
00:46:31when will they learn?
00:46:33Then you become reliant on the husband,
00:46:35on somebody else.
00:46:36This is a very good thing.
00:46:37This is a very good thing.
00:46:38It is very important to do it within yourself.
00:46:40So basically you are saying
00:46:41that don't pamper so much
00:46:42that the kids lose their decision making power.
00:46:47They should have their own autonomy.
00:46:49Every human being has it.
00:46:50For example,
00:46:51sometimes we used to record some people
00:46:54that some kids of our family
00:46:56were like this.
00:46:57They used to say,
00:46:58they have grown up.
00:46:59Mom, give them food.
00:47:00That means they can't make that much of a decision.
00:47:02Brother, how hungry are you?
00:47:04Mom, give them food.
00:47:05Why?
00:47:06We used to record that
00:47:08they will come and say,
00:47:09Mom, give them food.
00:47:11Mom, give them food.
00:47:12Mom, give them food.
00:47:13So,
00:47:14this is symbolic.
00:47:16It means that
00:47:17how hungry are you?
00:47:18When do you have to go to the washroom?
00:47:20What do you have to do?
00:47:21They can't make any decision.
00:47:22Make your own decisions.
00:47:23What do you want?
00:47:24You should think about yourself,
00:47:25about your child.
00:47:26Not because I am a mother,
00:47:27so if I want this,
00:47:28then my child will want this.
00:47:30We think like this.
00:47:31I know better.
00:47:32I know better.
00:47:33Actually,
00:47:34this also happens that
00:47:35I could never become a doctor.
00:47:36I want my daughter to become a doctor.
00:47:37Exactly.
00:47:38Because if I can't become a doctor,
00:47:39then she will do it.
00:47:41I am not saying that
00:47:42parents can't fulfill their wishes.
00:47:44No.
00:47:45But it is important to be confident.
00:47:46Even if the child doesn't want to become a doctor.
00:47:48Exactly.
00:47:49It is important to ask them.
00:47:50What you are saying is absolutely right.
00:47:52You should recognize your children
00:47:54because every child
00:47:56with their own personality,
00:47:58is not your personality.
00:48:00Khalil Gibran's poetry is very good.
00:48:02It is a poem.
00:48:03It is a poem by Hazrat Ali too.
00:48:05By the way,
00:48:06your children are not you.
00:48:08Remember this.
00:48:09They are independent souls
00:48:11who have brought their own destiny
00:48:13and not yours.
00:48:15And what we do is
00:48:17we put our unfulfilled
00:48:19dreams on them.
00:48:21If I didn't do this,
00:48:23then you will do it.
00:48:24If this injustice happens to me,
00:48:25then I won't let it happen to you.
00:48:27Many women also do this.
00:48:29They make it negative
00:48:31towards men.
00:48:33Because their experience
00:48:35was not good.
00:48:37So, try to understand
00:48:39your child.
00:48:41How your child is.
00:48:43And apply those things on him.
00:48:45And don't put your things on them.
00:48:47Exactly.
00:48:48It doesn't mean that
00:48:50you should let your children be free.
00:48:52You are not telling them to be free.
00:48:54As it is said,
00:48:56you will know.
00:48:58You have more experience than your children.
00:49:00You will know many things.
00:49:01They don't know.
00:49:02But if they want to say something
00:49:04or do something,
00:49:05let them say.
00:49:06Then you can tell them
00:49:08what is good and what is bad.
00:49:09You can pick and choose
00:49:10what you want to do.
00:49:11Because obviously,
00:49:12parents don't want anything wrong for you.
00:49:13But still,
00:49:14you have to let them be for a while also.
00:49:16First of all,
00:49:18most of the women
00:49:20don't know themselves.
00:49:22Yes.
00:49:23First of all,
00:49:24you should do this.
00:49:25You should parent yourself.
00:49:27Because we don't have good parenting.
00:49:29Good in the sense,
00:49:31our mothers tried to raise us
00:49:33the way they learned.
00:49:35But that wasn't parenting.
00:49:37Raising children quickly.
00:49:39Raising five children
00:49:41is such a difficult task.
00:49:43I can't even raise two.
00:49:44I have to raise five.
00:49:46So,
00:49:47first understand yourself.
00:49:49Because we don't understand ourselves.
00:49:50And then understand your children.
00:49:51Who are they?
00:49:52Because the eldest child
00:49:54is born with a different personality.
00:49:56The second child is also different.
00:49:58The way you raised the first child,
00:50:00you can't raise the second child like that.
00:50:02So, you have to be very aware
00:50:04of what you're doing in your parenting.
00:50:06So, the independence that I'm talking about,
00:50:08the children,
00:50:10naturally,
00:50:12every human being has that.
00:50:14A special thing.
00:50:16Recognize that.
00:50:18And work on that
00:50:20instead.
00:50:22Absolutely.
00:50:24Next slide.
00:50:26Strictness.
00:50:28We had already discussed that.
00:50:30Mother's strictness.
00:50:32There is one thing that I didn't do.
00:50:34Yes.
00:50:36I did pass on from my mother.
00:50:38I saw my mother doing it.
00:50:40But I changed it.
00:50:42Yes.
00:50:44Because as a child,
00:50:46I used to feel that strictness was more than necessary.
00:50:48And because of that,
00:50:50there was a stage in my life
00:50:52where I became rebellious.
00:50:54A little rebellious.
00:50:56In this rebelliousness,
00:50:58I couldn't do what people do.
00:51:00Because I was living in a very
00:51:02controlled environment.
00:51:04And I was only 17 when I got married.
00:51:06So, I didn't get much time.
00:51:08But in my mind,
00:51:10its impact wasn't right.
00:51:12I think so.
00:51:14And the childhood memories,
00:51:16which should be fond memories,
00:51:18are not that fond.
00:51:20So,
00:51:22I had always thought that
00:51:24I won't do strictness.
00:51:26I will be more of a friend
00:51:28to my child than
00:51:30a strict guardian.
00:51:32A lot of people
00:51:34don't agree with me.
00:51:36They say that a parent should be a parent.
00:51:38There is no need to be a friend.
00:51:40There are stages in life.
00:51:42In childhood, yes, you have to be a parent.
00:51:44You have to discipline your child.
00:51:46You have to make him strong.
00:51:48But after that, you have to switch over.
00:51:50It's the need of the hour.
00:51:52If you don't become a friend with your child,
00:51:54then your child will go far away from you.
00:51:56Because the world we live in
00:51:58is a very dangerous world.
00:52:00And if you
00:52:02keep your child in strictness,
00:52:04then even if he does something,
00:52:06he will never confide in you.
00:52:08He won't talk to you.
00:52:10Because he will be scared
00:52:12that his mother will slap him.
00:52:14So, I did the polar opposite
00:52:16of what my mother
00:52:18used to do.
00:52:20She was very strict with her daughters.
00:52:22We were not allowed to go out anywhere.
00:52:24She was strict with everything.
00:52:26I don't do this with my daughter.
00:52:28She is allowed to make her own decisions.
00:52:30She has to go out.
00:52:32I give her the permission
00:52:34because I believe as an individual human being,
00:52:36she has a need to socialize also.
00:52:38With social animals.
00:52:40We can't lock our children at home.
00:52:42You are crushing their personality.
00:52:44I think that's why
00:52:46up to a certain age,
00:52:48I didn't have any confidence.
00:52:50Because I didn't get that exposure.
00:52:52I didn't get that exposure.
00:52:54I wasn't exposed to the outside world.
00:52:56Eventually,
00:52:58it was very difficult for me to change.
00:53:00I had to do a lot of hard work.
00:53:02I didn't want my daughter to go through that.
00:53:04That's why I made a lot of difference.
00:53:06It makes me very proud
00:53:08when I see the person that she is growing into.
00:53:10Mashallah.
00:53:12She is a very well behaved child.
00:53:14She is very focused.
00:53:16She knows what she is doing.
00:53:18She is very sensible.
00:53:20I am very happy to see
00:53:22that she makes smart choices.
00:53:24Alhamdulillah.
00:53:26We have also made smart choices.
00:53:28Just like our mother raised us.
00:53:30It's not like we are stupid.
00:53:32We are very intelligent.
00:53:34All of my sisters.
00:53:36But I like that I did a different parenting.
00:53:38And the outcome was good.
00:53:40It means the times have changed.
00:53:42Exactly.
00:53:44It's the need of the hour.
00:53:46You can't lock your children at home.
00:53:48Sometimes,
00:53:50I compare a parent
00:53:52to a chameleon.
00:53:54You have to change
00:53:56like a chameleon.
00:53:58When do you have to be a parent?
00:54:00When do you have to be a teacher?
00:54:02When do you have to be a friend?
00:54:04If you know this,
00:54:06then you are successful.
00:54:08When do you have to be a friend?
00:54:10This is a very difficult thing
00:54:12to do as a mother.
00:54:14We think it's very easy.
00:54:16No.
00:54:18I have always said
00:54:20that I have run a company.
00:54:22It's very easy.
00:54:24It's a company.
00:54:26It's your child.
00:54:28This is your future.
00:54:30It's everyone's future.
00:54:32If the mother gives the training,
00:54:34then the child will be like that.
00:54:36The first 7 years
00:54:38are very important.
00:54:40You have to give confidence to your child.
00:54:42So that he can make his own decisions.
00:54:44We are taking a short break.
00:54:46We will come back after the break.
00:54:48Good morning, Pakistan.
00:54:56Welcome, welcome back.
00:54:58Good morning, Pakistan.
00:55:00Today we are discussing
00:55:02what we learned from our mothers
00:55:04and what we transferred to our children.
00:55:06We are not just talking about daughters.
00:55:08It's very important to teach our sons as well.
00:55:10She is our daughter.
00:55:12You also have a daughter.
00:55:14It's very important to teach our sons as well.
00:55:16Mothers should not sit relaxed
00:55:18like their sons.
00:55:20We have a son.
00:55:22We have both.
00:55:24It's very important to teach our sons.
00:55:26I feel,
00:55:28we should not teach our sons
00:55:30what we should teach.
00:55:32We make them retarded.
00:55:34Their growth is retardation.
00:55:36Like you said,
00:55:38the mother fed him food.
00:55:40I have seen this in people's homes.
00:55:42They treat them very specially.
00:55:44When they grow up,
00:55:46they feel that
00:55:48they don't need to do their own things.
00:55:50Like our mother,
00:55:52our father was in the army.
00:55:54Our grandfather was also in the army.
00:55:56So make your own bed as soon as you wake up.
00:55:58That's the first thing.
00:56:00Make your own bed.
00:56:02It's very important.
00:56:04We learned this.
00:56:06My brother was also taught this.
00:56:08My father used to cook very well.
00:56:10He used to cook when he was interested.
00:56:14My brother cooks for his wife.
00:56:16In fact, he takes care of his children.
00:56:18My brother
00:56:20lives in Jeddah.
00:56:22He is a stay-at-home dad.
00:56:24He is not a housewife.
00:56:26He is a house dad.
00:56:28His wife works.
00:56:30He takes care of his children.
00:56:32We taught him everything.
00:56:34He was the only son.
00:56:36He went to the army.
00:56:38Teach your son everything.
00:56:40Prophet Muhammad used to wash his own clothes.
00:56:42We don't respect him.
00:56:44How can our son
00:56:46or husband
00:56:48work at home?
00:56:50How is this possible?
00:56:52Teach your daughter everything.
00:56:54Teach her to work.
00:56:56Teach her to work at home.
00:56:58If she wants to work outside,
00:57:00teach her to work.
00:57:02Hazrat Khadija used to work.
00:57:04In our times,
00:57:06if a woman can't work outside,
00:57:08why can't she?
00:57:10If you teach her,
00:57:12she will work outside.
00:57:14Teach your son to work.
00:57:16Teach your daughter to work.
00:57:18Sorry, I forgot.
00:57:22Diet.
00:57:24Did you teach her diet?
00:57:26I forgot.
00:57:28It's not like that.
00:57:30It's about eating well.
00:57:32My mother
00:57:34worked hard for us.
00:57:36She fed me well.
00:57:38I was one of those
00:57:40who couldn't eat well.
00:57:42When I sit down to eat,
00:57:44Sharmeen has also seen it.
00:57:46I couldn't eat well.
00:57:48Everyone was eating meat.
00:57:50I was like, I can't have it
00:57:52because I don't eat meat.
00:57:54It could be any reason.
00:57:56It's not like I didn't eat since childhood.
00:57:58My mother used to say that
00:58:00she left me after an incident.
00:58:02Whatever that incident was.
00:58:04I try to eat well
00:58:06like my mother did.
00:58:08I don't give her
00:58:10such a beautiful plate
00:58:12so that she can say
00:58:14I don't want it.
00:58:16I try to feed her
00:58:18what I don't eat.
00:58:20So that she doesn't have
00:58:22the same problems that I have.
00:58:24I can't eat this, I can't eat that.
00:58:26I have a problem with this.
00:58:28I can't digest it.
00:58:30I can't eat it.
00:58:32I don't like it.
00:58:34I have to eat good things.
00:58:36I don't give her fruits
00:58:38until I force her to eat it.
00:58:40I don't force her to eat it.
00:58:42I will eat it, but I don't know when.
00:58:44I do this with her.
00:58:46I give her a good fruit.
00:58:48If she eats a handful of nuts,
00:58:50I say it's good.
00:58:52My mother used to do this to me.
00:58:54Even today, when I go home,
00:58:56I tell my mother
00:58:58I don't want to eat this.
00:59:00I want her to eat this.
00:59:02I didn't want to force her to eat this.
00:59:04That's why I tried to give her
00:59:06good things.
00:59:08My brother eats everything.
00:59:10He cooks well.
00:59:12His wife cooks well.
00:59:14He learned all this.
00:59:16I was away from the kitchen
00:59:18so I'm learning to cook now.
00:59:20I can cook some good things
00:59:22but I want her to learn
00:59:24My kids learn from my mother.
00:59:26For example,
00:59:28I used to eat a lot of grains
00:59:30so I stopped eating meat.
00:59:32I stopped eating beef.
00:59:34I felt that
00:59:36I stopped eating
00:59:38the grains of my youth.
00:59:40I should have developed
00:59:42the taste of meat.
00:59:44So I started eating chicken.
00:59:46My kids started doing the same.
00:59:48My husband said
00:59:50he eats everything.
00:59:52He's so sweet.
00:59:54He doesn't have any tantrums.
00:59:56He can eat anything.
00:59:58My kids were cooking chicken
01:00:00and my husband said
01:00:02it's easy for you to cook chicken
01:00:04because it cooks fast.
01:00:06Why can't my kids eat everything?
01:00:08They should eat vegetables and meat.
01:00:10They should have a balanced diet.
01:00:12My husband used to eat a lot of vegetables
01:00:14so I became immune to vegetables.
01:00:16But I stopped eating meat.
01:00:18Then
01:00:20he became strict.
01:00:22He said
01:00:24I'm not restricting you to eat
01:00:26but my kids should eat
01:00:28chicken once a week.
01:00:30When you cook desi ghee
01:00:32you can smell it.
01:00:34My parents have eaten it.
01:00:36But I don't like it
01:00:38because I can't eat it.
01:00:40I make sure my kids
01:00:42eat desi ghee.
01:00:44I can't eat eggs
01:00:46because I can't have eggs anymore.
01:00:48So I told him
01:00:50it's not necessary
01:00:52to eat everything.
01:00:54Then I realized
01:00:56that the restriction has been removed.
01:00:58Now kids eat everything.
01:01:00They eat meat, mutton,
01:01:02vegetables and lentils.
01:01:04I credit it to my husband
01:01:06because
01:01:08my kids were picking it up.
01:01:10He had an idea.
01:01:12My husband and I
01:01:14are picky about food.
01:01:16He eats all kinds of meat
01:01:18but I can't.
01:01:20I can eat fish
01:01:22because my mom loves seafood.
01:01:24I can eat fish, prawns
01:01:26but not chicken.
01:01:28I don't have meat.
01:01:30But I want him to eat everything.
01:01:32So I want to pass on
01:01:34my mom's diet to my son.
01:01:36So basically
01:01:38this is a concept of being open
01:01:40to things.
01:01:42I tried a lot.
01:01:44When I was a kid
01:01:46I couldn't do it with my brother.
01:01:48He used to feed me
01:01:50a lot of food.
01:01:52So I became very fat.
01:01:54I did this with my kids
01:01:56when I used to feel hungry.
01:01:58I used to say okay.
01:02:00But from the first day
01:02:02because I was like this
01:02:04and my mom wasn't like this.
01:02:06She used to get fish in the microwave
01:02:08in Germany.
01:02:10She used to fry it.
01:02:12You don't have to cook
01:02:14all the convenient things.
01:02:16In Pakistan it's more.
01:02:18So I taught my daughters
01:02:20what they should eat.
01:02:22They get it from school
01:02:24but I do it a lot.
01:02:26Now you get a lot from school.
01:02:28I taught them about protein
01:02:30and the food pyramid.
01:02:32When I cook food
01:02:34I have a menu.
01:02:36I cook meat
01:02:38twice a week.
01:02:40And once in a month I cook chicken.
01:02:42Not chicken at all.
01:02:44Because chicken has hormones.
01:02:46I don't cook chicken for my kids.
01:02:48These days chicken is not good.
01:02:50Even desi chicken
01:02:52is difficult to cook.
01:02:54You can only make yakhni.
01:02:56You can't eat desi chicken.
01:02:58I make cutlets
01:03:00for my kids.
01:03:02I teach them
01:03:04one cheat day
01:03:06like pizza, burger, junk day
01:03:08whatever you eat.
01:03:10Two days for meat,
01:03:12one day for vegetables,
01:03:14one day for fish,
01:03:16one day for lentils.
01:03:18So they eat everything?
01:03:20Yes.
01:03:22Naya used to eat
01:03:24everything from avocados
01:03:26to bitter gourd.
01:03:28But when she turned 10-11
01:03:30she started liking everything.
01:03:32So I don't force her.
01:03:34I force her
01:03:36on green day.
01:03:38You tell me if you want okra, broccoli,
01:03:40anything green
01:03:42except cucumber.
01:03:44Because kids like cucumber.
01:03:46So I tell her
01:03:48one day before cheat day
01:03:50if you eat broccoli
01:03:52you will get cheetos tomorrow
01:03:54or else I won't give you cheetos.
01:03:58So I force her
01:04:00and make her understand
01:04:02why it is important.
01:04:04Like I said earlier
01:04:06conscious parenting
01:04:08and conscious eating also.
01:04:10It is so important
01:04:12how you eat
01:04:14and how you feed your kids.
01:04:16If you force them to eat
01:04:18there is no benefit.
01:04:20No benefit.
01:04:22Believe me, it is science.
01:04:24If you feed them well
01:04:26even the water they drink
01:04:28has a positive effect.
01:04:30I force my kids
01:04:32to eat curd
01:04:34but they don't eat it.
01:04:36They don't eat anything.
01:04:38I force them to eat white food
01:04:40like cream.
01:04:44I have a phobia
01:04:46that I can't eat white food.
01:04:48I try to diet
01:04:50but I don't know
01:04:52how I got that phobia.
01:04:54You were forced into it.
01:04:56I feel nauseous
01:04:58when I drink white milk
01:05:00or eat white food.
01:05:02I don't know
01:05:04if I have an allergy.
01:05:06It is called childhood trauma.
01:05:08It happened to me.
01:05:10My father was so fond of
01:05:12raw eggs in milk.
01:05:14Eggs were also good
01:05:16so he used to eat it.
01:05:18I had the same reaction.
01:05:20But I eat eggs every day.
01:05:22Why?
01:05:24You eat 4 eggs every morning?
01:05:26Every morning.
01:05:28Everything.
01:05:30It's a complete meal.
01:05:32It's a complete meal.
01:05:34You get full protein in breakfast.
01:05:36I had a topic on eggs.
01:05:38My mother
01:05:40was very particular
01:05:42about eggs.
01:05:44Although
01:05:46I have been trolled a lot on the internet
01:05:48but my mother firmly believed
01:05:50that the height of my daughters
01:05:52will be longer if they eat eggs.
01:05:54Because my parents
01:05:56had an average height.
01:06:00My father had the same.
01:06:02My mother is 5'4".
01:06:04My father was 6'3".
01:06:06He was afraid of us being short.
01:06:08So he used to put raw eggs in milk
01:06:10and give us separate eggs.
01:06:12Tell me one thing.
01:06:14I have seen
01:06:16how I have taken care of their diet.
01:06:18My children are also tall.
01:06:20More than being tall,
01:06:22intelligence increases.
01:06:24Protein is very good for your brain.
01:06:26It has Omega 3, Omega 6, Choline.
01:06:30It's a complete meal.
01:06:32Protein is very important
01:06:34for children's brain development.
01:06:36Protein is important for our muscles.
01:06:38The point is
01:06:40when you teach your children
01:06:42what they should eat
01:06:44and don't force them.
01:06:46Believe it or not,
01:06:48when you cook something
01:06:50with love,
01:06:52it has a very good energy.
01:06:54It is more beneficial for them
01:06:56when they eat it happily.
01:06:58If you force them to eat,
01:07:00they will say,
01:07:02eat it quickly,
01:07:04you won't get this.
01:07:06Don't do this with your children.
01:07:08Don't do this with your children.
01:07:10Don't do this with your children.
01:07:12That is the worst thing you could do
01:07:14to your child.
01:07:16Because when you are eating
01:07:18or drinking it,
01:07:20it has a negative effect.
01:07:22Everyone asks me,
01:07:24how do you stay thin?
01:07:26Because I think thin
01:07:28and I talk to my food.
01:07:30I actually do.
01:07:32If you drink water,
01:07:34pray and drink it.
01:07:36If you eat food,
01:07:38pray and eat it.
01:07:40For this reason only,
01:07:42the way you digest
01:07:44and process it,
01:07:46if you are in a happy mood,
01:07:48people have seen it,
01:07:50science has seen it,
01:07:52your blood changes,
01:07:54your structure changes,
01:07:56it has a positive impact on you.
01:07:58Cook it well,
01:08:00cook it happily
01:08:02and feed it happily
01:08:04so that the child eats it happily.
01:08:06Absolutely.
01:08:08Next slide.
01:08:10Sleeping habit.
01:08:12This is very important.
01:08:14In our country,
01:08:16parents are awake
01:08:18and so are the children.
01:08:20You have to sleep late at night.
01:08:22I am not talking about
01:08:24a certain class.
01:08:26Every class.
01:08:28In a certain class,
01:08:30the children have to go to bed
01:08:32at 7-8 pm.
01:08:34But most of the masses
01:08:36don't let their children sleep.
01:08:38I read a lot of research
01:08:40and I read
01:08:42that a person
01:08:44who is awake will not die.
01:08:46But lack of sleep
01:08:48will make you go crazy.
01:08:50And you can die
01:08:52because of less sleep.
01:08:54Sleeping is very important
01:08:56at the right time
01:08:58for our body and well-being.
01:09:00Especially for the child.
01:09:02My mother was not strict.
01:09:04My father was very strict
01:09:06about this.
01:09:08We used to live outside
01:09:10and there were no servants.
01:09:12But sleeping habits
01:09:14get better.
01:09:16You wake up early
01:09:18and go to bed early.
01:09:20My mother has to work
01:09:22and my father has to get up early.
01:09:24But here,
01:09:26the driver will take the children
01:09:28and I will sleep well.
01:09:30My mother watches
01:09:32Turkish dramas
01:09:34all night long
01:09:36and scolds me
01:09:38to go to bed early.
01:09:40I am teaching my mother
01:09:42and I am very strict with my children
01:09:44that
01:09:46sleep is very important
01:09:48for the development of the child.
01:09:50My children used to sleep at 7 am
01:09:52and now they have to sleep
01:09:54before 9 am.
01:09:56So I wake them up at 6 am
01:09:58and I will wake them up at dawn.
01:10:00That is the best time
01:10:02to wake them up
01:10:04so that they can sleep at 8 am.
01:10:06Your body
01:10:08gets repaired
01:10:10when you are asleep.
01:10:12A child grows when he is asleep.
01:10:14When a child is walking,
01:10:16he is not gaining height.
01:10:18He is doing it
01:10:20when he is sleeping at night.
01:10:22If a child is not getting proper sleep,
01:10:24he will not grow.
01:10:26His body and organs
01:10:28will not function properly.
01:10:30The growth of adults is there
01:10:32but with age,
01:10:34the damage that is happening
01:10:36in our routine,
01:10:38our daily wear,
01:10:40our body copes with it
01:10:42when we sleep.
01:10:44It fights off the problems
01:10:46like infection, disease
01:10:48while you are asleep.
01:10:50Sleep is very important.
01:10:52I do not sleep
01:10:54and I start putting on weight.
01:10:56I start eating more
01:10:58because my brain is asking for energy
01:11:00even though I do not need to eat.
01:11:02Sleep is very important
01:11:04and
01:11:06even I am very particular about it.
01:11:08Vacations or not,
01:11:10after a certain time,
01:11:12I cannot tolerate my daughter staying up.
01:11:14She knows that she has to go to bed.
01:11:16When she is with her father,
01:11:18she takes advantage.
01:11:20But when she is with me,
01:11:22I am very particular
01:11:24because she has grown up.
01:11:26When she is with Ali,
01:11:28I cannot control her.
01:11:30I called her last night
01:11:32and asked her to talk to her kids.
01:11:34Her phones were switched off
01:11:36and she was out with her father at 8.30 am.
01:11:38I told her that
01:11:40this cannot happen when I am there.
01:11:428.30 am?
01:11:44You are early.
01:11:46No, I am not.
01:11:48We are taking a break.
01:11:50We will come back after the break.
01:11:52Good morning.
01:11:58Welcome. Welcome back.
01:12:00Good morning, Pakistan.
01:12:02Today we are discussing
01:12:04what we have learnt from our mothers
01:12:06and what we have learnt from our kids.
01:12:08We have learnt a lot
01:12:10from each other.
01:12:12Now,
01:12:14I will do the same with my kids.
01:12:16I will force them to do it.
01:12:20You have noticed that
01:12:22grandmothers are more lenient.
01:12:24Yes.
01:12:26Maybe we should relax also.
01:12:28We were not like this when we were young.
01:12:30No, no.
01:12:32We have gone through a lot.
01:12:34Now, if we have to do it with our kids,
01:12:36they will say,
01:12:38what are you doing?
01:12:40Why did you say that?
01:12:42Mom, you of all the people are saying this.
01:12:44This is the love of grandmothers.
01:12:46I still have this problem.
01:12:48When I sit,
01:12:50I cannot sit properly.
01:12:52My brother did not have a problem with girls.
01:12:54Whenever my daughter sits on the bed,
01:12:56whenever mom says something,
01:12:58I say, she is a kid.
01:13:00I am also a kid.
01:13:02Why don't you say this?
01:13:04Grandmothers are very lenient.
01:13:06They are not strict.
01:13:08Whose card is this?
01:13:10Mine.
01:13:12I also said this.
01:13:14School competition.
01:13:16In our house,
01:13:18it was very important
01:13:20to come first.
01:13:22First, second,
01:13:24third.
01:13:26After that,
01:13:28anger,
01:13:30crying,
01:13:32washing.
01:13:34I used to feel like,
01:13:36God forgive me,
01:13:38what has happened in the house.
01:13:40I used to think that I should come
01:13:42highest in every test.
01:13:44Every child has
01:13:46their own capacity and potential.
01:13:48I felt that
01:13:50every child does not have to be
01:13:52a top grader.
01:13:54So, I backed off.
01:13:56I said, I will not
01:13:58teach her.
01:14:00I will not do this with her.
01:14:02Because it is a torture for both.
01:14:04It ruins your relationship with your child.
01:14:06I said, I will not do this.
01:14:08I let her be.
01:14:10She was an average student
01:14:12for a very long time.
01:14:14I would say until grade 5.
01:14:16But Nida,
01:14:18she learned to pick herself.
01:14:20Slowly, slowly.
01:14:22Now, when she studies,
01:14:24she studies with her passion.
01:14:26I never told her,
01:14:28after coming back from school,
01:14:30that you have to take bath, eat and do homework.
01:14:32We had a routine.
01:14:34She said, no, I cannot study right now.
01:14:36I have to relax.
01:14:38I have to chill.
01:14:40I will study at night.
01:14:42I told her a few times,
01:14:44you get tired.
01:14:46That is my time, that is when I want to study.
01:14:48I let her be.
01:14:50She performs well.
01:14:52Because that works for her.
01:14:54What is important is that what works for her,
01:14:56does not work for other kids.
01:14:58I am not saying that this is the set formula.
01:15:00But I let her be.
01:15:02To the point where Nida,
01:15:04I had some time.
01:15:06I was at work.
01:15:08She said, give me your details.
01:15:10I said, why?
01:15:12She said, it is a new school.
01:15:14I am filling her application form.
01:15:16She said, if you want to study,
01:15:18you have to pay tuition for a year.
01:15:20I said, you are not even prepared.
01:15:22She said, just let it be.
01:15:24I want to try.
01:15:26I have been preparing for the past year.
01:15:28I want to see where I stand.
01:15:30I gave her my information.
01:15:32She filled her admission form.
01:15:34Again, I was at work.
01:15:36I thought, oh shoot,
01:15:38she had a test today.
01:15:40She saw the test and came.
01:15:42She was with her father.
01:15:44Two months later, she got in.
01:15:46She got her admission.
01:15:48I was shocked.
01:15:50She is independent now.
01:15:52She is responsible now.
01:15:56She knows that
01:15:58I trust her to make sensible decisions.
01:16:00That's so nice.
01:16:02I didn't put any strictness on her.
01:16:04I didn't say,
01:16:06I know her test week is going on.
01:16:08I go to her room.
01:16:10As a mother,
01:16:12I ask her,
01:16:14have I ever disappointed you?
01:16:16Have I ever...
01:16:18Just trust me.
01:16:20By the way, a person studies better than music.
01:16:22That's what she says.
01:16:24I don't get it.
01:16:26Maths and music.
01:16:28My son also says the same thing.
01:16:30He says, I am doing this
01:16:32and I am doing better.
01:16:34I say, shut up.
01:16:36Maths helps.
01:16:38It helps in math and music.
01:16:40For my daughter,
01:16:42there are certain hertz.
01:16:44Frequency.
01:16:46I always use it for Inaya.
01:16:48When she studies.
01:16:50Is it research?
01:16:52No, it's science.
01:16:54Whatever I am saying,
01:16:56it's science.
01:16:58Tell us,
01:17:00are there any vibrations?
01:17:02We are made of
01:17:04energy.
01:17:06Energy has a frequency.
01:17:08Energy moves.
01:17:10When there is a movement,
01:17:12there is a vibration.
01:17:14I will give an example.
01:17:16When a drop of water
01:17:18goes into the water.
01:17:20Into the stone.
01:17:22Those waves
01:17:24are called frequency.
01:17:26Similarly, sound waves are also formed.
01:17:28The one we are talking about
01:17:30also has a frequency.
01:17:32Ours, yours and mine both have a frequency.
01:17:34When God said,
01:17:36the universe is made
01:17:38of the sound frequency.
01:17:40Sound resonance.
01:17:42We also have
01:17:44our own vibration.
01:17:46Every music has a frequency.
01:17:48There are certain hertz.
01:17:50I don't remember on the top of my head.
01:17:52It's the frequency of the earth
01:17:54and the frequency of humans.
01:17:56I think,
01:17:58it's 10.
01:18:00It changes.
01:18:02Certain classical,
01:18:04especially classical music
01:18:06has a frequency
01:18:08that it opens up
01:18:10your neural pathways.
01:18:12You remember things well.
01:18:14Neurons have pathways.
01:18:16In our brain,
01:18:18there is a net
01:18:20of neurons.
01:18:22They give information
01:18:24to each other.
01:18:26They zap.
01:18:28Our thoughts are electrical
01:18:30current.
01:18:32When you listen to music,
01:18:34it changes
01:18:36your vibration
01:18:38and improves it.
01:18:40Our vibration
01:18:42changes according to the sound frequency.
01:18:44Prayer,
01:18:46Namaz, Dua
01:18:48are all frequencies.
01:18:50The recitation is a frequency
01:18:52that changes us.
01:18:54That's why we feel calm
01:18:56when we pray.
01:18:58It brings us back.
01:19:00There are inductors of energy.
01:19:02It's like a radio station.
01:19:04It also has a frequency.
01:19:06It makes a sound.
01:19:08The channel becomes clear.
01:19:10The frequency
01:19:12matches.
01:19:14You can change your frequency.
01:19:16Music can do that to you.
01:19:18Dua can change
01:19:20your frequency.
01:19:22Recitation can change your frequency.
01:19:24Your mind can change your frequency.
01:19:26Your heartbeat
01:19:28can change your frequency.
01:19:30It's a frequency.
01:19:32If you learn music
01:19:34or listen to it,
01:19:36you can study well.
01:19:38That's why we say
01:19:40whatever you say has a frequency.
01:19:42If you speak well,
01:19:44it will be good.
01:19:46You have put that energy in the world.
01:19:48It will come back.
01:19:50The echo
01:19:52will bounce back.
01:19:54It's difficult to explain.
01:19:56It's difficult,
01:19:58but you are trying.
01:20:00Eat good things,
01:20:02think good things,
01:20:04do good things.
01:20:06Everything written in the Quran
01:20:08has a purpose.
01:20:10Science is proving
01:20:12what those things are.
01:20:14Frequency is very important.
01:20:16Thank you so much.
01:20:18It's difficult to
01:20:20explain your mistakes
01:20:22to everyone.
01:20:24Celebrities
01:20:26tell us
01:20:28what they have
01:20:30gone through.
01:20:32It's a big thing.
01:20:34People learn a lot from it.
01:20:36I have learned a lot
01:20:38from you.
01:20:40I have not done it.
01:20:42Let's do it on kids.
01:20:46Thank you so much.
01:20:48Good morning Pakistan.
01:20:50See you tomorrow.
01:20:52God bless.
01:21:22Music
01:21:24Music
01:21:26Music
01:21:28Music
01:21:30Music
01:21:32Music
01:21:34Music
01:21:36Music
01:21:38Music
01:21:40Music
01:21:42Music