College is going to be one of the biggest investments of your life, which is why you should just trust what the unviersities tell you without even thinking twice about how much you could be screwed after school has ended.
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FunTranscript
00:00Why, hello, my bright-eyed, bushy-tailed high school graduate soon-to-be.
00:08Congratulations on the successful completion of your studies.
00:12You've spent a good chunk of your life studying and learning, and here you are.
00:19You probably think you're pretty smart, huh?
00:23Wrong.
00:24Everything you did over the last 18 years was a useless dry run meant to get you to
00:30the only education that matters, college.
00:34I'm Dean Horton, here from Horton University, to tell you why you need to go to my college
00:40or you're plumb-screwed.
00:41See, here's the thing, you seem like a smart kid.
00:44Hell, you might be a genius for all I know.
00:47Good work habits, a top-notch pumpkin between your shoulders.
00:51You know what all the big wars happened, and honestly, more math than most people in
00:56the modern world will ever need.
00:59But my math teacher told me that the world is full of beautiful geometry.
01:03Every flower a mathematical marvel.
01:06Sheesh, how did you get out of your locker, you acne-pocked Archimedes?
01:12Nerd.
01:13Here's how the world works.
01:15If you don't follow up that sterling potential with a college degree, everyone's going
01:21to think the only occupation you're fit for is a gas station attendant who has to be
01:27told not to drink the special sour water from the pump when you're on your break.
01:32Dare to suggest that you might skip out on later learning, and your parents are going
01:38to react to you like you just told them that your life's dream is to hug the front end
01:43of a city bus traveling at speed.
01:46Well, my parents just want what's best for me, and what's best for me is to go to college
01:51and get a degree so I can get a job.
01:54That's the spirit!
01:56By the time you get out of college, maybe some of the boomers that will never retire
02:01will have died and opened up a job for you to get.
02:05It'll probably be changed into an independent contractor position.
02:09But details, details, details, cart before the horse, can't see the forest from the trees,
02:13yadda yadda yadda.
02:14What's an independent contractor, is that a job?
02:18Sort of.
02:19As long as it's a job.
02:20Friend-o, with the economy these days, you'll probably have three.
02:25Oh boy!
02:26The fact is, attending my university and getting your degree will give you a better chance
02:32at employment.
02:34The unemployment rate among 25-34 year olds with a bachelor's degree is only about 2.8%.
02:43Skip out, and that number doubles.
02:48Okay, double is just 5.6% versus 2.8%.
02:52That's significant, but not as bad as I thought.
02:55Oh, look at my little statistician go, nerd!
03:02You'll also earn more.
03:04The median annual earnings of 25-34 year olds with a bachelor's degree is $65,000, while
03:13for high school diploma holders, it's only $39,700.
03:19Wow, that's actually kind of reassuring.
03:22I thought a college degree was worthless.
03:25Oh no!
03:27Though that kind of sensationalism would be a killer on a YouTube channel.
03:31Then this is a no-brainer.
03:32Sign me up for college.
03:37Of course.
03:38Which college would you like to go to?
03:40The best one, obviously.
03:42Lucky you, because that just happens to be Horton University.
03:47Fantastic, see you in September.
03:48And now that that's settled, on to the matter of tuition.
03:54Education ain't free, kid.
03:56Okay, I'm just confused, because up until now, I've gone to public school, and it was.
04:03Well, be prepared to spit out that old dry government teat, because it's not anymore.
04:09Where do you think we are?
04:10Norway?
04:11Or Denmark?
04:12Or Sweden?
04:13Or Germany?
04:14Or France?
04:15How much does it cost?
04:16Well, the average four-year private college, like Horton University, you want the yearly
04:25cost or the whole shebang?
04:28All at once, might as well rip the band-aid off.
04:31$38,768 a year, times four, so that'll be $155,072.
04:43And that's just for tuition.
04:46Toss in housing fees and so on, throw me, say, $223,360 and we'll call it even.
04:55Holy crow, that's a big band-aid.
04:58More like gauze fused to an open lesion.
05:01I don't have that kind of money.
05:04Who does?
05:05Don't worry, boy-o, we'll get you set up with a loan.
05:09How much do you have in your college fund right now?
05:12Um, nothing.
05:13We kind of lost everything in the recession.
05:15Ah, well, no problem.
05:18My condolences.
05:20$233,360.
05:24Let's say for the sake of argument that you're the greatest creditor the bank's ever seen,
05:30you get a fixed interest rate of 5%, that great college job we were talking about, and
05:36pay $1,000 a month off, you'll be out from under the shadow of debt in 53.5 years.
05:48When I'm 71?
05:50Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, there's another point for the math whiz.
05:55What's even the current life expectancy?
05:5776.
06:00This sounds like my options are just kind of different levels of f***ed.
06:04And that's The Real Education here.
06:08I've been Roger Horton with The Real Story.
06:20The Real Story.