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00:00Lapa is saying why does she get kindly so often even for the small matters, you know
00:27especially with certain people, she is unable to control anger and she says she tried to
00:44change her attitude but hasn't been quite successful, she says I know how to change
00:54myself because anger causes health issues. So, you already know that you are not angry
01:12over the people you express your anger on, you are not too concerned about the things
01:33that you make an issue of, look at your statement, I get angry often even over small small things.
01:43So, you know that those things are small, you know that those things are not worth getting
01:56angry over. So, obviously your anger has to do with something else, you know there is
02:23one big fat bully in the adjacent room and when I was coming to the side, he caught me and held
02:41me by the neck and abused me and punched me and I couldn't do anything, he was 6 feet 6 and 120
03:01kilograms, twice as big as me and to boot, I think he also had a gun, what could I do with him?
03:31So, even as I was being bullied, I just kept siding, I kept on feeling humiliated and small
03:47and vengeful but said nothing because saying anything would have meant danger. So, I somehow
04:05escaped from him and come over to this room and here I have you all and now what do I do? You
04:20how dare you wear pink, pink is a primitive colour, have you no common sense? Wearing pink,
04:30shouldn't I just throw this water on your face? You are asking such long questions,
04:42what do you think you are? Always asking questions, you never get any answers. Unnecessarily showing
04:54that you are bothered and sick, what's wrong with you? You are fit and fine, you want to make a
04:59fool of me? I will slap you hard and you dirty fellow, have you not had a bath? Why do you stink
05:10so much? I could feel the stink from the airport, new fat man hiding behind somebody so slim and
05:22thin. And this one, Namaskar, I pull her by the hair, we ban her again from home. This camera,
05:42such an old camera, dirty piece of equipment, let's just smash it. This fan is making too much
05:58noise, let's all hang by this fan. Where is the bed sheet? Who is in the next room?
06:20The cow is there, let's just enter the big fat six six boogie with the gun. Who is he?
06:50This is the lowest kind of reaction, to be angry on someone and not even having the guts to know
07:11who you are really angry on. So, what do you do? You keep expressing your anger on,
07:18all hands angry and everybody keeps thinking that you are a total fat potter. So, if the tea is too
07:29hot, you are angry that it is too hot and if the tea is a little cold then you are angry that it
07:37is cold. In short, nothing is ever alright. You always find some reason to get angry. And obviously,
07:47in this imperfect universe, nothing is ever going to be perfect. So, you always have a
07:55genuine reason to be angry. This is the lowest kind of reaction. Higher than this is to identify
08:12the bully and face him straight away. I could advise you to do that, I won't. Sometimes you
08:28probably think that I will say, why are you targeting these innocent people? Why not face
08:36the real culprit? No, I won't advise that. Facing the violent bully is better than getting
08:47irritated, frustrated over seemingly, relatively innocuous people and matters. But there is an even
09:01better solution available. You know, the pretense is that one is angry over the little people in
09:25this room. The fact is that one is angry over the bully next room. The reality is that one is angry
09:45over herself. That is what I want you to understand. If you belong to the lowest level of
09:55comprehension, then you will say I am angry over the people in this room. And you can keep pretending
10:06that these people are actually the mischief makers and you will find some way to justify your assertion.
10:12Better than that is to say that I am really angry over and the best is to realize that one is angry
10:26over no one but herself. You know why you are angry. You know why anybody is ever angry? Because
10:37we allow ourselves to get hurt. Someone within us knows that we are so very immense and invincible
10:58that it is not our nature to get hurt. There is something within us that is not vulnerable,
11:16that cannot be broken or tempted, that cannot be blemished. You cannot get hurt and yet you allow
11:31yourself to get hurt and that is why you are angry over yourself. So the non-culprits are the various
11:49people you went out your anger on. The factual culprit is the man next door and the real culprit
12:06is yourself. You are the real culprit because you live and behave and believe as if you are small
12:27and vulnerable and weak and meek. Why do you consider anybody so big that he appropriates
12:51the authority to hurt you? I have repeated a million times that you cannot be hurt without
13:01your consent. But you believe in the same value system that the bully believes in. Please
13:21understand. The bully bullies you based on certain fundamental assumptions. For example,
13:33his assumption is that the gun is power. The gun is? There are other things that can be held as a
13:43proxy to power. For example, money or knowledge. So he believes that gun or money or knowledge
13:51are power and he believes that power makes him big. You too believe that gun and money and
14:01knowledge are power and because you do not have the money and because you do not have the knowledge
14:09so you are powerless. So in a sense you and the bully belong to the same school of thought,
14:15don't you? He too believes that the gun is power and you believe equally that the gun is power.
14:24Now the gun is power and who has the gun? He has the gun. So who will dominate the other? He will
14:33dominate you. Both of you believe in the same thing that money is power and out of the two of
14:41you who has the money? He has the money. So he will dominate you obviously. And both of you share
14:48the conviction that knowledge is power. And who has knowledge? He has. So obviously he will.
14:58Manhandle you. Totally control you. Lord over you. Is it his fault? If it s your life and your
15:17life is being spent in fear and domination then fundamentally whose fault is it? Whose
15:26responsibility? It s yours, right? Why do you believe that money is authority? Why do you
15:33believe that power is authority? But you will continue to believe in all that till the time
15:41you come to the real authority. You have no option but to believe in the power of the gun,
15:57in the power of money and knowledge and prestige and so many other things. Till you come to the
16:08one with actual power. Then you will be left believing in the power of money and you won t
16:23be believing in the power of money, right? That would be the situation. Now the situation is a
16:27little asymmetric. He is standing in front of you and he is holding a gun to your chest and he
16:38is waving money at you and he is proudly displaying all his knowledge. But you are saying that none of
16:48this is power. So why should I accord you the status of an authority? Why should I think that
17:02you are big? Yes, you do have the gun but the gun is not power. Yes, you do have money. I can t
17:13deny that. You are waving currency notes at me. So you do have money. But money is not power. And
17:21yes, you do have knowledge and contacts and wealth and prestige and all that. But none of that is
17:29power. Now can he harm you, hurt you, dominate you? Can he? No. Because he is now powerless in
17:39front of you. With all his money and knowledge he is now powerless. So actually who accorded him
17:47the power? You did. It s not the gun that dominated you. It s the meaning you invested in the gun that
17:58dominated you. It s not his money that dominated you. It s the meaning that you accorded to the
18:08money that dominated you. Otherwise somebody can keep showing his millions to you. He will say yes,
18:14those millions are there, very much there. But they don t mean anything to me. And if they don
18:21t mean anything to you then you cannot dominate you. Lata, who is that person who finds a lot of
18:32meaning in money? What is that person called? So what is then the cause of your fear? No,
18:53first of all you are greedy and then you are shouting and abusing at others.
18:57Now who is greedy? And on top of that she gets angry on small people over small matters. Does
19:25she get angry on the big bully? That rarely happens. But she can get angry on the carpenter
19:34and the gardener and the driver and the shopkeeper. How dare you give me a yellow mango?
19:45Mango can go all the way to the rice grower also. Where is that damn farmer?
19:58Let s beat him up. But Lata, before you can say that money is not power,
20:12you have to go to the very root of power. You know what is power? The ability to make things
20:27happen. The ability to make things move. The ability to bring about real change is power.
20:33The ability to bring about real change. Ego never brings about real change. Ego only transforms.
20:47Transforms. The form is change and transformation is no real change. Transformation is not
21:00sublimation. Which means any action happening from the ego cannot be a powerful action. Real
21:16power belongs to the one who dissolves the ego. Some have called him the truth. Others have called
21:32him the lullaby. Some prefer to just say silence. The old fashioned ones say God. He is the one who
21:57brings about real change. What is the real change? The sublimation, the very dissolution of the one
22:08who kept hankering after cosmetic change. Then you become immune to cosmetic change and therefore
22:23power. Then the world cannot hurt you or scare you. Now you know that whatever the world is
22:39trying to do anyway does not mean much because the world cannot change anything. Here only shapes
22:48and appearances keep melting and merging into each other like waves in an ocean. Waves keep
22:57rising and falling. Does anything really change? The ocean remains as it is and the waves are doing
23:05all that they can. Millions of waves forming, falling, merging. Does anything new ever happen
23:20there? Real change always leads you into the new. If nothing absolutely new is descending,
23:40then rest assured that no real change is happening. That is why those who have known
23:48have said that change is a delusion. Man keeps running after change and he has been doing so
24:04since he has been man. So has anything changed? The names of the particular persons involved in
24:17the running have been changing. 200 years back it was A, 2000 years back it was M, 200,000 years
24:33back. Those names have been changing but the thirst for change has not changed. Be with the
24:49one who has real power. Be with the one who brings about a total rejuvenation of your being. Be with
25:00the one who gives you what can only be described as a rebirth. Then you will know what real power
25:09means. Be with the one whose company will enable you to stand intrepid in front of a loaded gun
25:21and then you will know what real power is. What is real power? To point a loaded gun at someone
25:31or to stand fearlessly in front of that loaded gun. Tell me what is real power? Now that you
25:45cannot do all by yourself. The ego is so afraid. In front of the loaded gun if you just stand by
25:53yourself then you will shiver. So you require company. That company is called aloneness. So
26:04bad. We thought aloneness meant only me. No. Aloneness means you with only him. That is
26:14aloneness. And that is power. Now the bully will have to face a surprise. The gun is loaded and he
26:33has fired a shot in the air. So it's a smoking gun. Hot and smoking. And he is pointing the
26:42gun right to your forehead. And how are you standing? Okay. I am cool. Nice gun man. Quite
26:57nice. And he is saying I will blast those brains out of you. Too bad for the brains. Not all bad for me.
27:08Before the brains I was with the beloved. And after the brains have been smashed out of the
27:19skull by a bullet I would still be with the beloved. Yes of course your bullet has power
27:26but your bullet has power only over the brain. Not over you. You see I am with the handsome one.
27:38He won't let any harm come to me. If you think 6'6 is quite tall then raise your head and look at
27:59the sky. That's how tall my new date is. So it has all boiled down to this. You need to flirt
28:18around with it. You find somebody exquisitely majestic for yourself. A cowherd by the name
28:36Krishnan. Or if you have simpler tastes then a young man with no riches, no possessions,
28:53a deformed body, college style. Set a date. Be with them. Like they have in the movies. You are
29:10with your darling and the bad one comes. And what is he trying to do? He is trying to point a gun at
29:21you but then your saviour is your lover. He gets up, rather pounces and with one full blow of the
29:42fist the bully has disappeared forever. Without that cowherd you will be at the mercy of the
30:03world. We all need his company, don't we? So be alone with him. That's the meaning of aloneness.
30:26Be alone with him. Nice, cozy and romantic. That's what aloneness is. And then there is no need to be
30:43angry. Then the poor mangrove and the rice can be spared. You are on your fantastic date and the
30:56rice is only half cooked. Would you want to spoil your date by fuming over the rice? Even if the
31:05rice is bad, you say fantastic rice. Who wants to spoil the mood of two of you? If the world
31:27dominates you and makes you angry, it means you are not with God. This happened just a few hours
31:51before. Before I came to speak to you, I was watching these langurs and there was this baby
32:00langur, just this big. And the tail was this big. And then there was the bigger langur, maybe the
32:11mama langur. And the baby langur went some distance away from the mama langur. They both
32:27were atop a wall. And a dog barked at the little langur. And what did it do? It quickly returned to the
32:41mama langur. And now holding the mama langur, it looked at the dog and said, now what can the dog do?
32:51See, Prakriti is offering you all the hints. You are the baby langur. Both small and langur.
33:17And the dogs are? The moment they find the baby langur, what do they do? They try to have fun.
33:32Bark, bark, bark. The solution is simple. Return to the mama. Read the Upanishads. Read the Bhagavad
33:53Gita. Go to Kabir Sahab, Devata Patanjali. And when you are with them, who can harass you? You
34:17will not feel like wasting your energy in anger. You will say, if I still have spare energy, why
34:24not read a little? Why not dance a little? Why not just sit under the sky and look at the stars?
34:35Why should I waste a couple of hours just barking like the dog that barked at me? You
34:55will have no spare time. You will have no spare space in the mind to give to undeserving people.
35:01How will you then get angry or hurt? For that, you have to give yourself fully to mama. Once you
35:17have given yourself fully, how much of yourself do you have left? Nothing. So, how will you have
35:24space left for the rascals? They will come and the first thing that they demand from you is space.
35:33They say, give us your time, give us your space. And you will say, all my time and all my space
35:40belong to the big one. I have no space. I have no time. So, how do I give my time to you? And when
35:51you can't give your space or time to you, they can't use your space and your time to offend you.
35:56Neglect it. This is also called as indifference. I am so much in the service of the real one that
36:16I have no space left for the petty ones. This is called indifference. To be indifferent to the
36:28little one, you have to parallely be in the service of the great one. Otherwise indifference is not
37:06an ox, you need an elephant. To fight a big one, you need the biggest one.
37:36What can the ox do to you if you are sitting on the elephant? Can you do something now?
37:46But if you are all by yourself in front of the bull or the ox, then keep getting angry.
38:10Are you just nodding or appreciating? Let me see how angry you get tonight.
38:31Who is staying with you? Please sanitize the room. No rods or firearms or pointed metallic
38:51objects should be there. Not anymore. Anger is a characteristic of the weak one. Remember this.
39:15If you aren't weak, then you have no dependence on it. Anger is just frustrated energy. Energy
39:32that didn't dare to go into the right channel. Energy that didn't dare to flow into the right
39:42channel. Then it erupts as anger. Be strong. How? By being with the strong one. There is no other way.