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00:00Currently, a lot of pressure is there on me to get married, get married. So, I want to
00:12know about it, like completely confused about this decision. I am not mentally prepared
00:16for it right now. I feel incompleteness in my life. I want to do some things, want to
00:21settle some things. And some things I have done, but so, but completely confused, pressurized,
00:29but still I am holding on. So, when people say, do a compromise, it's okay, everyone
00:34do what you are looking for, this kind of things. There is no such thing as perfection,
00:39all these things. I mean, so, a lot of pressure I am experiencing. So, that's currently taking
00:47the attention or tying them to everything. Companionship is wonderful. Companionship
00:54is wonderful. Be with 1 person, 10 persons, anybody who helps your mind be centered.
01:10Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful.
01:18If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship,
01:22marriage is wonderful. But what matters is not the social institution of marriage,
01:31but the fact that you are with someone and when you are with someone,
01:36the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice versa.
01:44You must know the effect that the other's presence has upon you.
01:53So, if someone's presence has a becoming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind,
02:04illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind,
02:09go ahead, be with that person or persons as much as you want to. But be with them only as long as
02:18their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not
02:29become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you.
02:36It has to be a mutually healthy relationship, not a relationship in which you enter because of
02:43sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.
02:51You already have enough troubles, right? You don't want to invite another trouble into your house,
02:56into your bedroom, do you? But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you,
03:12invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential.
03:19With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don't marry, wonderful.
03:24And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don't marry, bad luck.
03:31What do you think? Only married people have troubles?
03:36You might be single, you might be a bachelor and still you may have very bad company.
03:43And then you are equally troubled as a husband, as a wife is.
03:48It's not a matter of being in that institution. The question is, what brings you into that
03:54institution? Look around, see why people marry. Do they marry because it's an affirmation
04:06of their divine love? Is that how it happens? Seriously?
04:10In our country, most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex,
04:18good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money
04:27or a lot of time or both and may not have a good life.
04:37And then still return empty handed.
04:47Isn't that so?
04:53Now, one marries for such a reason or many other prevalent reasons.
05:02I will have someone to look after me when I get old.
05:08Mama needs someone to share her daily chores.
05:20Grandpa is very fond of kids.
05:25All my friends have married. Now I have nobody to watch the movies with.
05:32They don't take me along.
05:36I'll feel like a left out if I'm a single.
05:43These days, they don't allow me entry into nightclubs and pubs.
05:51Stag entry is expensive.
05:53Stag entry is expensive.
05:59If these are your reasons, look at your mind. Sort out your mind.
06:06And with a sorted mind, whatever you do would be right.
06:12There have been liberated ones who have married
06:15and there have been liberated ones who haven't married. It doesn't matter.
06:19What matters is liberation.
06:24If you are sorted and liberated, go ahead, do whatever you want to.
06:28And if you aren't sorted and liberated, whatever you do would be wrong.
06:41An action that arises from fear will only lead to more fear.
06:46An action that arises from conformity
06:55and deprivation cannot lead to freedom.
07:16Currently, my feeling is that I'm in the process of sorting my mind.
07:22I don't know whether I'm right or not.
07:24But currently, my feeling is that if I take more time, my mind will get sorted out.
07:28Things will be clearer to me.
07:30So that's my inner hunch.
07:32Currently, I'm not sorted out but it is clearing out.
07:36So I have to relax.
07:38I have to wait.
07:40That's the current state of my mind.
07:42People who are recuperating in a hospital
07:48can avoid the discotheque for a few days.
08:12Q. Sir, one question on your link.
08:14Let's say you said some people gang up.
08:16But sometimes what happens in that gang,
08:18you identify that it's a gang.
08:20And you clearly avoid that.
08:22But in that gang, one or two people are there
08:24who you respect
08:26and they respect you back.
08:28And you clearly avoid that.
08:30But in that gang,
08:32one or two people are there
08:34who you respect
08:36and they respect you back.
08:38And you clearly avoid that.
08:41But in that gang, one or two people are there
08:43who you respect
08:45and they respect you genuinely.
08:47So if they invite you,
08:49what should be our response?
08:51When they are ganging up,
08:53in that moment, they are not respected.
08:55Respect is not a permanent tag
08:57that you give to someone.
09:01When they are
09:03in a frame of mind
09:05that is worthy of respect,
09:07respect them.
09:09When they have ganged up
09:11with unworthy ones,
09:13with debauched ones,
09:15in that moment, are they still worthy of respect?
09:19So don't label people
09:21as respectable or not respectable.
09:23Look at their actions.
09:39I need your friend.
09:51By pushing your buttons.
09:57Please sort this out.
10:01A fellow who irritates you
10:03and keeps your mind agitated,
10:05why is he present in your life
10:07as a friend?
10:09How exactly is he taking
10:11care of you if his presence
10:13leads to an unsettled mind?
10:15What are these tags?
10:19The only definition
10:21of a friend is someone
10:23who brings you back to yourself,
10:25to your serenity,
10:27to your peace.
10:29That is the only friendship possible.
10:33And that is also the definition of love.
10:35Isn't it?