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Host: Nida Yasir
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Host: Nida Yasir
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigitalshow #arydigital
#aroobamirza #zainabraza #danishnawaz #newyearcelebration
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FunTranscript
00:00:30Good morning, good morning Pakistan!
00:00:32Sometimes you find it so difficult to get up in the morning
00:00:37and the energy you need to get up in the morning is also difficult.
00:00:41Sometimes big tasks seem easy in life
00:00:44and sometimes small tasks seem very difficult.
00:00:47For example, when you are at every stage of life,
00:00:52your thinking is different.
00:00:53Like when you are young, you feel like you have to go to school in the morning,
00:00:56you have to go to school every day, you have to do your homework, you have to prepare for your exams.
00:01:00Life is so difficult.
00:01:01When you grow up and come into practical life,
00:01:03you feel that studies were the easiest,
00:01:06now you have to find a job, you have to make a career.
00:01:09So how difficult is this?
00:01:10You have to become a doctor, that is difficult.
00:01:13You have to study engineering, you have to study business,
00:01:16you have to start a business and take it till the end.
00:01:20No matter where you live in any country,
00:01:22it is not easy to achieve success.
00:01:24It seems very difficult.
00:01:26But you know that if you study medical,
00:01:29then yes, you will become a doctor.
00:01:32Your future will be secure.
00:01:34You know that if you study business,
00:01:39you will do CA, which is very difficult for a person to pass.
00:01:43But you know that your future will be safe.
00:01:46Good education, difficult education,
00:01:48and with that hard work, you get to know this.
00:01:52This is a guarantee that your future will be secure.
00:01:55You will move forward in your career.
00:01:58But whether you are a doctor, an engineer, a pilot,
00:02:02or whatever, no matter how much money you earn,
00:02:05you are a very successful businesswoman.
00:02:08There is one thing that has no guarantee,
00:02:11and there are no courses to teach it.
00:02:15That is, there is a phase in life
00:02:18in which you have to leave your parents' house
00:02:21and go to a stranger's house, which is called a stranger's house,
00:02:24and you have to make that stranger's house yours.
00:02:27And to make that stranger's house yours,
00:02:30you have to make a lot of sacrifices and endure a lot of things
00:02:33to make that house yours.
00:02:36But no one teaches us this properly.
00:02:39It has no classes, no books, no courses.
00:02:42Rather, everyone teaches you on the basis of their experiences.
00:02:45Your own, you can call it teaching you.
00:02:48Or you can call it teaching you wisdom.
00:02:51So, there is no guarantee
00:02:54that the things that have been told,
00:02:57where you are leaving,
00:03:00you are leaving,
00:03:03does the whole fit sit in that house or not?
00:03:06Whatever experiments you do in front of your parents,
00:03:09good or bad, your blood, your siblings,
00:03:12your parents forgive you.
00:03:15But if you go to that house and start experimenting,
00:03:18sometimes they become very heavy for you.
00:03:21So, to teach you this manners and culture,
00:03:24we have some experts with us today.
00:03:27One is the one who,
00:03:30on the basis of his experience,
00:03:33will put you in a lot of trouble.
00:03:36It is very good, if you don't have a blood relation
00:03:39and he teaches you this culture and manners,
00:03:42then you get to know the reality of life.
00:03:45But if your blood relative tells you something,
00:03:48then obviously, in love,
00:03:51he may not show you the real face of the world.
00:03:54But here, we are trying to give you guidelines
00:03:57so that you can see the real face of the world
00:04:00and how you have to bear in it,
00:04:03how to swim in that sea.
00:04:06We will give you some tips on our show.
00:04:09Good morning, Pakistan.
00:04:16Welcome. Welcome back.
00:04:19Good morning, Pakistan.
00:04:22As I told you, it is better to listen to someone else
00:04:25than to give these tips to yourself.
00:04:28Because sometimes, you can't give yourself the right advice.
00:04:31Maybe in love, maybe in love.
00:04:34Or they have their own experiences.
00:04:37But those who have seen the world
00:04:40and have more expertise than others,
00:04:43they can give you the right advice.
00:04:46Today, our two experts will sit on the topic of our show.
00:04:49They will give us guidelines
00:04:52based on their own experiences.
00:04:55They have been a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law.
00:04:58They will give us guidelines based on their experiences.
00:05:01And the other one is an expert as a professional.
00:05:04So, let's welcome Simi Pasha.
00:05:07Assalamualaikum.
00:05:10Assalamualaikum.
00:05:13We have Shumaila Shahbaz with us
00:05:16to fulfill her expertise with you.
00:05:19She is an etiquette and grooming consultant.
00:05:22Assalamualaikum.
00:05:25How are you?
00:05:28This is a different kind of topic
00:05:31in which you both have been invited.
00:05:34There are a lot of scientific things
00:05:37but there are no basic life courses for this.
00:05:40There are no basic life courses for this.
00:05:43But I have tried
00:05:46that there should be a small pre-wedding course.
00:05:49Like in Pakistan,
00:05:52mothers are so busy
00:05:55and shy
00:05:58that they can't even tell their daughters the basic things.
00:06:01Or maybe they are really shy to tell their daughters.
00:06:04When their daughters get married
00:06:07and go to their in-laws' house,
00:06:10they are so shy to tell their daughters
00:06:13or guide them.
00:06:16So, there is a lot of hesitation
00:06:19to give them the confidence
00:06:22to go to their in-laws' house
00:06:25and tell them the basics.
00:06:28I got married at a very young age
00:06:31when I was educated and professional.
00:06:34I knew what to do
00:06:37but my mother didn't tell me what to do.
00:06:40My mother was also working
00:06:43so she thought that if I educate my daughter,
00:06:46she will learn by herself.
00:06:49I was the first child
00:06:52so my mother doesn't think that
00:06:55even a small thing at that age is a big deal.
00:06:58It was a small thing
00:07:01that made me a big deal.
00:07:04Then girls get disturbed.
00:07:07I don't know, maybe my mother realized this later
00:07:10when other sisters got married.
00:07:13It was her first experience of getting her first daughter married.
00:07:16So, at that time I realized that
00:07:19girls should have a little understanding
00:07:22and some house girls do have it.
00:07:25I don't know why they didn't teach us
00:07:28when we were young.
00:07:31We learned a lot of things after marriage
00:07:34and we learned it by ourselves.
00:07:37When we went to our in-laws' house,
00:07:40we saw their set up
00:07:43and we tried to adapt to it.
00:07:46There were some mishaps and mistakes
00:07:49but we learned from it.
00:07:52Now, if we groom girls
00:07:55and teach them how to conduct themselves
00:07:58or how to conduct themselves on stage
00:08:01or in mehendi rituals.
00:08:04These are small things that are happening now
00:08:07and I like it because it wasn't like this in our time.
00:08:10We did what we had to do.
00:08:13We were successful in doing it ourselves
00:08:16to a certain extent
00:08:19but it should have happened in our time.
00:08:22We miss these things.
00:08:25Whether we believe it or not,
00:08:28the world has progressed.
00:08:31But the old concept of going to a girl's house
00:08:34has not changed.
00:08:37In many classes and arranged marriages,
00:08:40if you go to a girl's house
00:08:43or if you see her in a gathering,
00:08:46you know that she wants to come home.
00:08:49When she comes home,
00:08:52no matter how confident she is,
00:08:55she is not able to understand
00:08:58how to come in front of her.
00:09:01Many girls will understand
00:09:04that they won't look fake.
00:09:07But this is a difficult thing
00:09:10because you know that someone is coming to see you
00:09:13and you are not able to stay in front of them.
00:09:16Either you become very quiet or you start talking a lot.
00:09:19Both things happen.
00:09:22The first question I will ask you
00:09:25is that when someone is coming to see a girl
00:09:28for the first time
00:09:31or she knows that
00:09:34all the focus will be on her,
00:09:37what should she do?
00:09:41You are absolutely right.
00:09:44These days, girls are educated.
00:09:47They don't want to be seen as a showpiece.
00:09:50Exactly.
00:09:53They don't want to be seen as a showpiece.
00:09:56Exactly.
00:09:59I always tell families
00:10:02and their parents
00:10:05that when someone is coming to see your daughter,
00:10:08don't tell them that you are going with a trolley.
00:10:11Don't do that.
00:10:14If you have another daughter at home,
00:10:17ask her to do all this.
00:10:20Like you said, she becomes very shy.
00:10:23We should make our daughters understand
00:10:26and give them confidence
00:10:29that it is not necessary for you to get married here.
00:10:32You don't have to worry.
00:10:35We meet other people outside.
00:10:38You are saying that a mother should
00:10:41first relax her daughter.
00:10:44It is not necessary for you to get married there.
00:10:47You just need to meet them.
00:10:50You will sit with them and greet them.
00:10:53You will talk to them.
00:10:56You will see their mental level.
00:10:59You should have an idea.
00:11:02If you are shy,
00:11:05you may not understand them.
00:11:08If you are shy and don't talk to them,
00:11:11you may not understand them.
00:11:14If you are excited and talk to them,
00:11:17they will understand you.
00:11:20Talk to them with confidence.
00:11:23There is no problem.
00:11:26If you like them,
00:11:29they will understand you.
00:11:32If you cannot cook,
00:11:35you don't know how to cook.
00:11:38You have to observe them.
00:11:41You have to judge and observe them.
00:11:44They don't just come to see you.
00:11:47You have to make a relationship with them.
00:11:50If you think that
00:11:53it is a nice family and you can get along with them,
00:11:56you can tell your parents
00:11:59to meet once or twice more.
00:12:02If you don't want to meet them,
00:12:05you can tell them that you are sorry.
00:12:08Despite that, parents force you.
00:12:11If you don't want to meet them,
00:12:14it is important for girls to say sorry.
00:12:17As you know,
00:12:20our divorce rate has increased.
00:12:24It is better to judge them
00:12:27and then get married.
00:12:30Shumaila is right.
00:12:33I am not in favour of a girl bringing a tray.
00:12:36I want people to like each other
00:12:39in parties and weddings.
00:12:42That will automatically raise the confidence level.
00:12:47If she has to bring a tray,
00:12:50she should not bring a tray.
00:12:53I will second Shumaila.
00:12:56You have to put in her mind
00:12:59that you have to observe people.
00:13:02Her focus will be away from you.
00:13:05She will not be scared or scared.
00:13:08She will have the confidence
00:13:11that she has to judge people.
00:13:14The confidence level will change her body language.
00:13:17She will not be scared or scared.
00:13:20She will know how her parents are.
00:13:23She will know how her son is.
00:13:26These things will be wiped out.
00:13:29These things are not there in our girls.
00:13:32In earlier girls, there was a lot of fear.
00:13:35They didn't even look at their son.
00:13:38They didn't even look at their son.
00:13:41They didn't even think about their son.
00:13:44The second important thing is
00:13:47after the marriage is fixed,
00:13:50there are a lot of families
00:13:53who say that they don't want to meet their son.
00:13:56They don't want to go to their in-laws.
00:13:59There are a lot of families like this.
00:14:02I don't know why they do this.
00:14:05But they don't want to meet their son.
00:14:08They don't want to go to their in-laws.
00:14:11It's like a game.
00:14:14Before marriage, you feel that you are married.
00:14:17How much should you limit your visits?
00:14:20How much should you visit your in-laws?
00:14:23After the marriage is fixed.
00:14:26How much mail did you receive?
00:14:29How many phone calls did you receive?
00:14:32There should be a limit.
00:14:35I always say that
00:14:38if there is a distance, there is always respect.
00:14:41Even with your siblings,
00:14:44even with your siblings,
00:14:47even if you joke a lot,
00:14:50if there is a limit, you get upset with them.
00:14:53You know how your siblings are.
00:14:56You know how much you can cross the limit with them.
00:14:59You know how much you can cross the limit with them.
00:15:02Exactly.
00:15:05Even if you know how much you can cross the limit with them,
00:15:08even if you know how much you can cross the limit with them,
00:15:11it means that they are strangers.
00:15:14A little distance is very important.
00:15:17It is also important to meet the boy and the girl.
00:15:20If they don't meet, they won't even know each other.
00:15:23Because your comfort level increases
00:15:26when you know what they like.
00:15:29The basic things should not go too deep.
00:15:32If you don't want to dominate,
00:15:35if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:38if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:41if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:44if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:47if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:50if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:53if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:56if you don't want to dominate,
00:15:59you should meet them and say all basic things to them.
00:16:04At that time, you are showing affection to each other.
00:16:10This is important, don't go into too much depth.
00:16:13But the nature of your relationship should be known.
00:16:16We are told that when you go to a restaurant to meet someone,
00:16:24how is their reaction with the waiters?
00:16:27it means he is a good person by nature
00:16:29so these are the basic things
00:16:31you have to see
00:16:33if he is good to people
00:16:35down to earth
00:16:37unprivileged people
00:16:39then I think he should go ahead
00:16:41he should do it
00:16:43just keep this much
00:16:45and don't do long engagements
00:16:47the longer it is
00:16:49the more problems it creates
00:16:51the more things happen
00:16:53the more you go in depth
00:16:55more fights
00:16:57then the engagement
00:16:59breaks
00:17:01or the marriage
00:17:03it is better to talk on the phone
00:17:05and meet with the family
00:17:07this way you understand
00:17:09the family's behaviour
00:17:11a boy and a girl
00:17:13don't get married, it is a family
00:17:15so if after engagement
00:17:17and marriage families meet
00:17:19and the boy and girl
00:17:21sit and talk
00:17:23then it is better
00:17:25if you have to go alone
00:17:27then it is too much
00:17:29after marriage
00:17:31the golden period should be there
00:17:33the charm is over
00:17:35exactly
00:17:37the golden period
00:17:39after marriage
00:17:41is over
00:17:43so there is a time for everything
00:17:45and that's it
00:17:47one important question
00:17:49that
00:17:51a lot of girls
00:17:53I am not talking about dowry
00:17:55a lot of normal things
00:17:57that a girl needs
00:17:59she doesn't know
00:18:01what she should take
00:18:03for example
00:18:05her old clothes
00:18:07she gives it to her sisters
00:18:09I am talking about that
00:18:11what should be included
00:18:13in her list
00:18:15that can help her
00:18:17first of all
00:18:19if she wants to
00:18:21bring her things
00:18:23but when a girl gets married
00:18:25and she goes to another house
00:18:27like I went
00:18:29first of all my husband didn't get
00:18:31any dowry
00:18:33now what happened
00:18:35I got a little more shy
00:18:37after that no one is with me
00:18:39now when you reach there
00:18:41you need so many things immediately
00:18:43now who will you ask
00:18:45if someone gets married
00:18:47if she has a headache
00:18:49it's a long process
00:18:51if she has a headache
00:18:53now who will I ask
00:18:55and you feel shy
00:18:57and start asking for medicines
00:18:59but if you don't settle
00:19:01your stomach gets upset
00:19:03headache
00:19:05and all the advice I gave
00:19:07keep a hand carry
00:19:09with you
00:19:11keep different pouches
00:19:13in which your basic needs
00:19:15like shoes
00:19:17banded
00:19:19safety pins
00:19:21necklines
00:19:23because you wear new clothes
00:19:25we never thought about this
00:19:27and you can do
00:19:29neckline with safety pins
00:19:31there are fights
00:19:33you are newly married
00:19:35you are thin
00:19:37you are wearing a dress
00:19:39if someone hugs you
00:19:41first of all fights
00:19:43and start scolding
00:19:45so these small things
00:19:47safety pins
00:19:49a sewing kit
00:19:51with different colored needles
00:19:53you can do it
00:19:55immediately
00:19:57I carry it everywhere
00:19:59then you have
00:20:01a lidocaine spray
00:20:03usually doctors use
00:20:05when sportsmen
00:20:07get injuries
00:20:09so all the models
00:20:11who work all night
00:20:13they spray it
00:20:15and wear shoes
00:20:17I think our brides also
00:20:19wear shoes
00:20:21because inside the marriage
00:20:23how much walking
00:20:25making videos
00:20:27you can't even imagine
00:20:29when you get tired
00:20:31sitting on the stage
00:20:33who is used to
00:20:35sitting on the sofa
00:20:37I can sit as long as I want
00:20:39sitting straight
00:20:41you are newly married
00:20:43obviously you need that energy
00:20:45you can't eat
00:20:49we will continue this
00:20:51after a break
00:20:53you will also tell me your experience
00:20:55when a thin and thin girl
00:20:57becomes a bride
00:20:59what all things she has to bear
00:21:01keep watching Good Morning Pakistan
00:21:09welcome
00:21:11welcome back Good Morning Pakistan
00:21:13we are talking about
00:21:15something that
00:21:17we don't even think about
00:21:19that we need this
00:21:21we have to learn this
00:21:23so many things
00:21:25because of which
00:21:27girls have to face problems
00:21:29and these small things
00:21:31make a big thing
00:21:33so today we are discussing
00:21:35how to tackle it
00:21:37first impression is the last impression
00:21:39how to make your own impression
00:21:41last
00:21:43we left the topic
00:21:45that what all things a girl
00:21:47should carry in her suitcase
00:21:49so
00:21:51painkillers are necessary
00:21:53keep painkillers
00:21:55bandage, safety pins
00:21:57perfume always
00:21:59and deodorant
00:22:01because when you sit
00:22:03you sweat
00:22:05so you should have
00:22:07perfume
00:22:09and then
00:22:11what you have to do
00:22:13hair accessories are very important
00:22:15because when you tie your hair
00:22:17you have to
00:22:19comb your hair
00:22:21you have to get confused
00:22:23you have to
00:22:25tie your hair
00:22:27after that
00:22:29your snack
00:22:31keep small snacks
00:22:33sometimes when you are hungry
00:22:35you can't ask for snacks
00:22:37you feel shy
00:22:39you are a new bride
00:22:41I always say
00:22:43keep a small cake
00:22:45which is fully packed
00:22:47you open it and eat
00:22:49you get energy
00:22:51energy drink
00:22:53you should have
00:22:55other snacks
00:22:57vitamins
00:22:59and then
00:23:01a girl
00:23:03is always ready
00:23:05for marriage
00:23:07but when she wakes up
00:23:09she doesn't know
00:23:11that she is getting ready
00:23:13she doesn't know makeup
00:23:15if you don't know makeup
00:23:17what you have to do
00:23:19you don't need foundation
00:23:21keep a BB cream
00:23:23moisturize your face
00:23:25you should have sunscreen
00:23:27BB cream
00:23:29liquid illuminator
00:23:31if you apply two small puffs
00:23:33in BB cream
00:23:35it will glow
00:23:37on your face
00:23:39because you don't get enough sleep
00:23:41because of festivals
00:23:43although it is different
00:23:45from freshness
00:23:47but still
00:23:49when you got married
00:23:51you were thin
00:23:53you didn't have life
00:23:55I didn't have anything
00:23:57what she is saying
00:23:59I didn't have anything
00:24:01I didn't have any awareness
00:24:03that this should happen
00:24:05you are right
00:24:07after marriage
00:24:09in-laws feel
00:24:11what you have
00:24:13you can't ask
00:24:15you feel shy
00:24:17you are an expert
00:24:19you are telling
00:24:21so many minor details
00:24:23I don't need to say
00:24:25all girls should know
00:24:27and from your platform
00:24:29everyone will get awareness
00:24:31that you should keep small things
00:24:33but in our time
00:24:35I didn't see
00:24:37maybe it happens
00:24:39but it didn't happen with me
00:24:41I told you about illuminator
00:24:43and lipstick
00:24:45it is very important
00:24:47you should always keep yourself ready
00:24:49so that
00:24:51whoever sees a new bride
00:24:53she will be glowing
00:24:55and smiling
00:24:57now a days girls have awareness
00:24:59about tints
00:25:01you don't have to do makeup
00:25:03you can conceal dark circles
00:25:05if your skin is good
00:25:07if you are young
00:25:09your skin is beautiful
00:25:11you have glow of your age
00:25:13now a days girls apply tints
00:25:15you have seen in dramas
00:25:17they make eyebrows
00:25:19and apply tints
00:25:21so you should have
00:25:23freshness
00:25:25no make up look
00:25:27I don't know
00:25:29why girls don't wear bangles
00:25:31and bangles
00:25:33I don't want to wear bangles
00:25:35but at that time
00:25:37if you are at home
00:25:39I like the bangles
00:25:41it is very important
00:25:43to be ready
00:25:45when will you be ready?
00:25:47all my life
00:25:49this is the day
00:25:51to enjoy
00:25:53we can't do this
00:25:55we can't do this
00:25:57we don't want to wear bangles
00:25:59what will we do?
00:26:01traditions should be kept
00:26:03many girls say
00:26:05we can't do this
00:26:07they discuss
00:26:09we don't like this
00:26:11we don't like that
00:26:13sometimes we have to wear
00:26:15bangles
00:26:17wear bangles
00:26:19one more thing
00:26:21many girls don't have this awareness
00:26:23they have focus on them
00:26:25if you go as a guest
00:26:27in a normal wedding
00:26:29you don't have this much focus
00:26:31but when you become a bride
00:26:33all the focus is on you
00:26:35I have seen in Mayo
00:26:37when girls wear veil
00:26:39they will be like this
00:26:41girls don't know
00:26:43that all the guests
00:26:45are looking at you
00:26:47how can you be presentable?
00:26:49how can you sit?
00:26:51how can you be Mayo's bride?
00:26:53how can you be Mehendi's bride?
00:26:55you are wearing heavy dupatta
00:26:57as a model
00:26:59please explain this
00:27:01I am in favor of
00:27:03Mayo should be simple
00:27:05with no makeup
00:27:07her posture should be proper
00:27:09she shouldn't bend
00:27:11what is the need of bending?
00:27:13Mayo should be simple
00:27:15in Mehendi
00:27:17light makeup
00:27:19flowers
00:27:21no jewellery
00:27:23brides should be simple
00:27:25in Mayo and Mehendi
00:27:27if you compare
00:27:29all look the same
00:27:31in Mehendi
00:27:33brides are over
00:27:35I don't think so
00:27:37it doesn't glow
00:27:39in Mehendi
00:27:41Mayo should be simple
00:27:43your posture should be proper
00:27:45why should you bend?
00:27:47Dupatta should be on your head
00:27:49like Tika Jhumar
00:27:51Dupatta on brides
00:27:53in Mayo and Mehendi
00:27:55you don't have to put it aside
00:27:57these are traditions
00:27:59you don't have to put it aside
00:28:01you have to maintain it
00:28:03this is the beauty of marriage
00:28:05Mayo
00:28:07Mayo, Mehendi
00:28:09Mayo, Mehendi
00:28:11in Mayo when brides bend
00:28:13you don't have to bend
00:28:15in Mayo no makeup
00:28:17no makeup look
00:28:19light glow
00:28:21these are the pictures
00:28:23there are traditions in Pakistan
00:28:25in Mayo
00:28:27I always say
00:28:29from now on
00:28:31brides hair should be set
00:28:33so that it doesn't get messy
00:28:35like Dupatta
00:28:37yellow flowers
00:28:39should be adorned
00:28:41so that it looks good
00:28:43and they adorn
00:28:45in our tradition
00:28:477 married women
00:28:49adorn
00:28:51in-laws also bring
00:28:53adorn
00:28:55Mayo should have 3 quarters
00:28:57or half sleeves
00:28:59so that if someone is
00:29:01putting uptan
00:29:03it shouldn't touch their clothes
00:29:05if someone is putting uptan on arms
00:29:07it should be open
00:29:09it shouldn't look weird
00:29:11you should sit with confidence
00:29:13your posture should be good
00:29:15Dupatta should be like this
00:29:17and with a light smile
00:29:19you are not laughing a lot
00:29:21but you are taking a good picture
00:29:23so that it will be remembered for life
00:29:25and for Mehendi
00:29:27makeup should be light
00:29:29and red
00:29:31flowers
00:29:33you have done yellow on Mayo
00:29:35red flowers
00:29:37it will look different
00:29:39and also
00:29:41Mehendi is put on your hands
00:29:43so you should put some
00:29:45leaves on it
00:29:47there is one thing
00:29:49in Pakistan
00:29:51they give so many sweets
00:29:53that girls get worried
00:29:55all the mehendi
00:29:57that I have done
00:29:59I take fruits
00:30:01I make a whole bouquet
00:30:03you take a small
00:30:05container
00:30:07crystal container
00:30:09you put
00:30:11the green one
00:30:13in pots
00:30:15you make a whole bouquet
00:30:17you put strawberry, pineapple
00:30:19which are seasonal
00:30:21seasonal fruits
00:30:23and whoever comes
00:30:25they put mehendi
00:30:27so that the sugar
00:30:29girls also get worried
00:30:31what to do
00:30:33literally
00:30:35now it is enough
00:30:37I had little understanding
00:30:39so I told my mother
00:30:41that I don't want sweets
00:30:43I like chocolates
00:30:45so I told her to take
00:30:47the almond bunty
00:30:49and put it in your mouth
00:30:51it will be small
00:30:53you don't have to open your mouth
00:30:55because they are giving so many sweets
00:30:57but now it has changed
00:30:59it is happening
00:31:01but the idea of fruits is very good
00:31:03because at that time
00:31:05you will make the bride so hyper
00:31:07and sometimes the stomach also gets upset
00:31:09and next day if you get married
00:31:11what will you do
00:31:13so it is good to eat fruits like that
00:31:15and to sit
00:31:17you should always
00:31:19make her sit on a comfortable chair
00:31:21so that she doesn't get tired
00:31:23see the girls
00:31:25how can it be comfortable
00:31:27keep cushions at the back
00:31:29see
00:31:31this is the thing
00:31:33we go and see the halls
00:31:35we see which sofa is good
00:31:37girls should see
00:31:39themselves
00:31:41it should be a two-seater
00:31:43so that many people don't sit on it
00:31:45it happens that aunts and uncles
00:31:47sit to perform the rituals
00:31:49and they sit on the girl's dupatta
00:31:51these cushions
00:31:53on henna
00:31:55on henna
00:31:57and the wedding stage
00:31:59keep it like this
00:32:01so that the dupatta doesn't come out
00:32:03and she can sit comfortably
00:32:05so that her back doesn't hurt
00:32:07or she can stay relaxed
00:32:09the wedding dress is heavy
00:32:11and no one should be allowed to sit at the back
00:32:13and pull her dupatta
00:32:15it happens often
00:32:17so she can sit comfortably
00:32:19because if your shoes are uncomfortable
00:32:21your feet hurt
00:32:23your face hurts
00:32:25your clothes are sticky
00:32:27all these things
00:32:29are coming out of your face
00:32:31if it is painful
00:32:33then how can it be comfortable
00:32:35the bride has to take care of all these things
00:32:37by herself
00:32:39no one else can do it
00:32:41she knows that my shoes
00:32:43are making me uncomfortable
00:32:45don't wear a new shoe
00:32:47try it
00:32:49don't cut it
00:32:51the shoes should be comfortable
00:32:53but in the wedding
00:32:55you have to keep a fit flop
00:32:57or a comfortable shoe
00:32:59you sit in the car
00:33:01you go with that shoe
00:33:03you don't have to wear heels
00:33:05when you are shooting a photo
00:33:07you wear heels
00:33:09if you are in the hall
00:33:11you wear heels
00:33:13you don't have to wear heels
00:33:15you know how painful their feet are
00:33:17and you have to wear it for 3 days
00:33:19you have to walk
00:33:21so you have to keep a comfortable shoe
00:33:23you pick up your dress
00:33:25and leave
00:33:27you have to find comfort for yourself
00:33:29you don't have to think
00:33:31you have to wear what you are given
00:33:33for example
00:33:35it happened with me
00:33:37my mother's shoes were very comfortable
00:33:39but I didn't see the wedding shoes
00:33:41I thought it will be new
00:33:43the box will open
00:33:45and everyone will come
00:33:47so I will look at it
00:33:49I thought it was comfortable
00:33:51when I wore the wedding shoes
00:33:53I was like this
00:33:55then I had to wear
00:33:57the old Mayo shoes
00:33:59I decided
00:34:01instead of falling down
00:34:03or not being able to walk
00:34:05I should see my comfort level
00:34:07so then
00:34:09I continued
00:34:11the Mayo shoes
00:34:13henna, Mayo
00:34:15everything was comfortable
00:34:17we have so much experience
00:34:19which we are telling
00:34:21and they will not repeat
00:34:23the mistakes
00:34:25now the next step
00:34:27after marriage
00:34:29usually the family
00:34:31brings the breakfast
00:34:33on the first day
00:34:35they are sitting on the breakfast
00:34:37I don't know how to behave
00:34:39I can't even eat
00:34:41there also
00:34:43they are forgetting
00:34:45so what to do there
00:34:47how to behave
00:34:49how much to eat
00:34:51and how much not to eat
00:34:53I was so hungry
00:34:55I didn't eat anything
00:34:57I didn't eat anything
00:34:59it happens sometimes
00:35:01you go in a trance
00:35:03there are new people
00:35:05what to eat
00:35:07I didn't eat anything
00:35:09I didn't eat anything
00:35:11my mind was blank
00:35:13I always say
00:35:15girls should eat
00:35:17you feel hungry
00:35:19but you feel shy
00:35:21everyone is sitting
00:35:23first of all
00:35:25the bride should greet
00:35:27everyone
00:35:29how are you
00:35:31I hope you are fine
00:35:33the elders
00:35:35how are you
00:35:37she feels so good
00:35:39that she becomes your fan
00:35:41say a few words
00:35:43how are you
00:35:45if someone is looking good
00:35:47say that
00:35:49she will be happy
00:35:51from the beginning
00:35:53whenever you meet
00:35:55have a seat
00:35:57when you sit
00:35:59please sit
00:36:01don't sit first
00:36:03make everyone comfortable
00:36:05you sit first
00:36:07you sit
00:36:09those who don't eat
00:36:11it's not necessary
00:36:13to eat everything
00:36:15the healthy things
00:36:17that will make you feel
00:36:19you feel
00:36:21take an omelette
00:36:23an egg
00:36:25eat an omelette
00:36:27in Punjabi
00:36:29they say
00:36:31bring a pie
00:36:33eat a pie
00:36:35take a bowl
00:36:37they say you shouldn't eat a pie
00:36:39but I am telling the bride
00:36:41how can you eat
00:36:43take a pie
00:36:45put small pieces
00:36:47take a quarter roti
00:36:49break the pieces
00:36:51and then
00:36:53eat from a spoon
00:36:55exactly
00:36:57you can just have a spoon
00:36:59and then eat it
00:37:01don't eat roti
00:37:03when you eat food
00:37:05you feel you can't eat
00:37:07because you feel
00:37:09you are hungry
00:37:11when you sit
00:37:13you feel hungry
00:37:15take some rice
00:37:17don't take roti
00:37:19and eat it with a spoon
00:37:21it's easy and quick
00:37:23you don't know how much you ate
00:37:25if you want to eat less
00:37:27eat less
00:37:29because
00:37:31my mother used to
00:37:33feed me
00:37:35no one will do this
00:37:37take care of yourself
00:37:39after a short break
00:37:41we will come back
00:37:43and tell you
00:37:45how to do it
00:37:47because first impression is the last impression
00:37:49we will make you so confident
00:37:51that you will remember us
00:37:53in good and bad times
00:37:55good morning
00:37:59good morning
00:38:03good morning
00:38:07welcome
00:38:09welcome back
00:38:11good morning Pakistan
00:38:13want to learn
00:38:15new things
00:38:17like finesse
00:38:19pre-bridal
00:38:21this is a new course
00:38:23I think
00:38:25this time
00:38:27These courses that we have discussed here, they take it in a little more detail,
00:38:34they make the brides practice it a little, so it is better for them,
00:38:39because when you practice one thing, then you remember everything.
00:38:43So I think you can call it a pre-wedding course.
00:38:46Yes, I can call it a pre-wedding course.
00:38:48If I ask you, you don't have a daughter, you have sons,
00:38:54so every mother-in-law has expectations, that when the daughter-in-law comes home,
00:38:59she will be like this, she will be happy.
00:39:01What makes you happy as a mother-in-law?
00:39:04First of all, there is respect.
00:39:07After that, you have to think a little.
00:39:10Like she said, you sit first, respect.
00:39:16These things are a lot.
00:39:18For me, it's a lot.
00:39:19What more do you want?
00:39:21What can you expect from a daughter-in-law?
00:39:23You have spent your whole life,
00:39:25to bring up your sons, to get them married,
00:39:29after that you have seen so much of the world,
00:39:32after that you need respect and a little care.
00:39:35If the daughter-in-law takes extra care,
00:39:38then you will be happy with her,
00:39:40she will enter your heart,
00:39:42and even if she doesn't ask you,
00:39:44you won't really hate her,
00:39:46you won't feel bad,
00:39:48because you brought her with your choice,
00:39:50plus you brought her with your son's choice,
00:39:52you don't feel that,
00:39:53but in your heart, it remains,
00:39:55that if she would have asked,
00:39:57it would have been better.
00:39:59Then life moves ahead,
00:40:01then things come ahead,
00:40:03but if you give your daughters a place,
00:40:09give them confidence,
00:40:11that this is your home,
00:40:13then a lot of things change.
00:40:16As a mother-in-law,
00:40:18do you feel that your daughter-in-law is ready,
00:40:21and you are praising her,
00:40:23that your daughter-in-law dresses well,
00:40:25do you get compliments?
00:40:27I have never focused on these things,
00:40:29that how ready she is,
00:40:31I see her comfort first,
00:40:33that in which dress she is comfortable,
00:40:36I don't want that if she is wearing jeans,
00:40:39then I will say Nida is coming,
00:40:41wear a shalwar kameez,
00:40:43I have never done this with my daughters-in-law,
00:40:45and in which she is happy,
00:40:47in which she is comfortable,
00:40:49more than makeup,
00:40:51I focus on her nature,
00:40:53that she is right with Nida,
00:40:55she is right with Shumaila,
00:40:57if Shumaila and Nida go from here,
00:40:59she won't say what kind of daughter-in-law she is,
00:41:01she didn't ask, didn't talk much,
00:41:03she was quiet,
00:41:05those things matter to me more,
00:41:07for me dressing and makeup,
00:41:09not matter,
00:41:11conduct matters more,
00:41:13and in conduct,
00:41:15if you respect everyone,
00:41:17if you don't respect,
00:41:19you won't get respect,
00:41:21I have seen some daughters-in-law,
00:41:23in families,
00:41:25they want us to get respect,
00:41:27from everyone,
00:41:29but we should stay in our zone,
00:41:31that zone is very dangerous for them,
00:41:33some girls,
00:41:37they are talkative,
00:41:39they know how to take initiative,
00:41:41how to start talking,
00:41:43but when a new girl goes there,
00:41:45many girls stay quiet,
00:41:47shy,
00:41:49they don't talk,
00:41:51so on relatives,
00:41:53family members,
00:41:55they get impression that
00:41:57she is moody,
00:41:59boring,
00:42:01stiff neck,
00:42:03where it is about respect,
00:42:05salam, dua,
00:42:07you understand that she is good,
00:42:09but after that,
00:42:11she doesn't even do this,
00:42:13I have seen such families,
00:42:15they don't even do this,
00:42:17so how can a person,
00:42:19she will sit quietly,
00:42:21this shouldn't happen,
00:42:23and if someone asks her,
00:42:25she is lost,
00:42:27she is not present there,
00:42:29same people,
00:42:31go to their families,
00:42:33and play different role,
00:42:35when they go to their parents,
00:42:37they have different personality,
00:42:39when they are in in-laws,
00:42:41in-laws have a boy,
00:42:43husband,
00:42:45he knows what kind of things
00:42:47are liked in my family,
00:42:49and what kind of things
00:42:51are not liked,
00:42:53now if a mother-in-law
00:42:55directly asks her daughter-in-law,
00:42:57why are you sitting like this,
00:42:59she will feel bad,
00:43:01and I think mother-in-law's
00:43:03relationship with her will be bad,
00:43:05her personality will be bad,
00:43:07her impression will be bad,
00:43:09her role is,
00:43:11to tell her wife,
00:43:13this is how we meet in my family,
00:43:15when she comes,
00:43:17this aunty is like this,
00:43:19talk to her like this,
00:43:21if you talk to her like this,
00:43:23she will be very happy,
00:43:25or uncle will be happy with you,
00:43:27now when she is bringing her
00:43:29in comfort zone,
00:43:31she is thinking,
00:43:33I am very close to her,
00:43:35she will be happy,
00:43:37so instead of talking to each other,
00:43:39we talk about family,
00:43:41my aunty is like this,
00:43:43when I used to talk to my husband,
00:43:45before marriage,
00:43:47I knew everyone's nature,
00:43:49who is of what kind of nature,
00:43:51so she gets a little help,
00:43:53exactly,
00:43:55and similarly,
00:43:57if she feels,
00:43:59she talked to her mother,
00:44:01I told her this,
00:44:03she told me to tell her like this,
00:44:05what I was thinking,
00:44:07in between,
00:44:09when it comes to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law,
00:44:11if there is a problem,
00:44:13then I think,
00:44:15that boy should also do this,
00:44:17if he wants to say something,
00:44:19or wants to scold his wife,
00:44:21you said this to my mother,
00:44:23or talked like this,
00:44:25then he should tell her alone,
00:44:27because if he talks to her alone,
00:44:29she will not feel so insulted,
00:44:31so she will listen to him,
00:44:33and if he wants to talk to his mother,
00:44:35or wants to say something,
00:44:37then he should talk to her alone,
00:44:39so that she also feels insulted,
00:44:41that daughter-in-law came and talked to me like this,
00:44:43so the role of a boy,
00:44:45is very important,
00:44:47one more important thing,
00:44:49often,
00:44:51mother-in-law is older than you,
00:44:53and if she says something to you,
00:44:55I have seen,
00:44:57girls respond to them equally,
00:44:59and if there is a fight,
00:45:01how much should you be quiet,
00:45:03how much should you speak,
00:45:05it is not possible,
00:45:07that you become quiet,
00:45:09or you get bulldozed,
00:45:11and it is also not possible,
00:45:13that she is older than you,
00:45:15obviously,
00:45:17the relation of respect is different,
00:45:19then she is older than you,
00:45:21so some girls tolerate a lot,
00:45:23and some girls do not tolerate at all,
00:45:25the middle thing,
00:45:27how much should it be,
00:45:29before this,
00:45:31I would like to ask you,
00:45:33what do you think,
00:45:35what should be the limit,
00:45:37I think, the elders should be ignored,
00:45:41they are sensible,
00:45:43girls have not come,
00:45:45or they have become old,
00:45:47they are still girls,
00:45:49they ignore their daughter's mistakes,
00:45:51or avoid them,
00:45:53or ignore them,
00:45:55that she has done it,
00:45:57do the same with daughters-in-law,
00:45:59it is not possible,
00:46:01that daughters-in-law will scold you,
00:46:03that why did you do like this,
00:46:05when you make them understand,
00:46:07I am sure they will understand,
00:46:09they will not be so blunt,
00:46:11but if you come to the same page,
00:46:13with them,
00:46:15then it is a fight,
00:46:17then the respect of elders and children is over,
00:46:19now a days,
00:46:21they are interested in teaching
00:46:23respect to elders,
00:46:25because the girls,
00:46:27have become more exposed,
00:46:29they have been shown the world,
00:46:31in our time,
00:46:33this was not there,
00:46:35social media and all,
00:46:37so if they answer,
00:46:39then you make them understand with love,
00:46:41or ignore them,
00:46:43I believe this,
00:46:45the more you confront them,
00:46:47the bigger the fight will be,
00:46:49then what happens,
00:46:51your son gets beaten,
00:46:53who is right and who is wrong,
00:46:55when you fight,
00:46:57the right and wrong ends,
00:46:59they come to the edge,
00:47:01that you misbehaved,
00:47:03so I answered with misbehavior,
00:47:05to the daughter-in-law,
00:47:07so the misbehavior adds,
00:47:09the motive also ends,
00:47:11why did you fight,
00:47:13what did you dislike,
00:47:15all this ends and
00:47:17everything is converted into a fight,
00:47:19then the son gets worried,
00:47:21you don't want to trouble your son,
00:47:23in any situation,
00:47:25you don't want to put your son in any situation,
00:47:27that you don't speak on his side,
00:47:29speak on my side,
00:47:31so what do mothers do in this,
00:47:33they sacrifice from day one,
00:47:35so in this also,
00:47:37compromise,
00:47:39mothers have to sacrifice to some extent,
00:47:41because they are mothers,
00:47:43that's why,
00:47:45you are right,
00:47:47in this,
00:47:49in this,
00:47:51whatever happened,
00:47:53everything escalates,
00:47:55that they said this to me,
00:47:57they misbehaved,
00:47:59so what we are thinking,
00:48:01that our focus,
00:48:03is on the problem,
00:48:05that this happened,
00:48:07they misbehaved,
00:48:09I answered with misbehavior,
00:48:11the reason,
00:48:13the fight,
00:48:15the clothes,
00:48:17that matter is over,
00:48:19but they misbehaved,
00:48:21so the focus is on the problem,
00:48:23not on the solution,
00:48:25that what happened,
00:48:27and second thing,
00:48:29as you said,
00:48:31girls either get suppressed,
00:48:33or quiet,
00:48:35so girls should also see,
00:48:37if they feel,
00:48:39that something has happened,
00:48:41then firmly,
00:48:43like they say to their mothers,
00:48:45they filter the speech,
00:48:47the problem is,
00:48:49that you are being filtered,
00:48:51you can easily say to them,
00:48:53that you said this,
00:48:55but I felt,
00:48:57that it shouldn't have happened,
00:48:59or I felt,
00:49:01that mother said something bad,
00:49:03or I didn't like what aunty said,
00:49:05you won't mind,
00:49:07but I don't like it,
00:49:09and if she feels,
00:49:11that she can't say to her mother in law,
00:49:13and this filtering speech,
00:49:15as you talk to your parents,
00:49:17you can't talk to your mother in law,
00:49:19you have to respect them,
00:49:21because they are there,
00:49:23you can't say to your husband,
00:49:25that your parents are annoying,
00:49:27your parents said this,
00:49:29you have to use your words carefully,
00:49:31you tell them,
00:49:33I respect your family,
00:49:35I like them,
00:49:37but I feel,
00:49:39that they didn't like what I said,
00:49:41can you please convey the message,
00:49:43or tell me,
00:49:45that how can I say,
00:49:47you have to respect your words,
00:49:49you can say it in your home,
00:49:51but you have to be careful,
00:49:53when you use your words,
00:49:55if you want to convey your message,
00:49:57you can't say it in simple Urdu,
00:49:59your vocabulary should be good,
00:50:01you have to use synonyms,
00:50:03which will sound better,
00:50:05exactly,
00:50:07but you have to convey your message,
00:50:09but you can say it very nicely,
00:50:11suppose,
00:50:13your mother in law is angry,
00:50:15you are thinking,
00:50:17she is not talking to me,
00:50:19girls are also quiet,
00:50:21but you have to communicate,
00:50:23you are young,
00:50:25you can go,
00:50:27what happened,
00:50:29if your mother in law is friendly,
00:50:31you can hug her,
00:50:33I used to do that,
00:50:35same here,
00:50:37if you hug her,
00:50:39you don't have to get the result,
00:50:41of that argument,
00:50:43sometimes,
00:50:45you don't have to find
00:50:47a solution for many things,
00:50:49same here,
00:50:51I used to fight with my husband,
00:50:53in small things,
00:50:55but it gets solved,
00:50:57because it is happening in your room,
00:50:59in front of everyone,
00:51:01but if you are not very physical,
00:51:03some people don't touch each other,
00:51:05you can ask them,
00:51:07why are you quiet,
00:51:09you can praise them,
00:51:11your husband,
00:51:13with whom you have to spend your life,
00:51:15she is his mother,
00:51:17you can say,
00:51:19you look good when you smile,
00:51:21you can say a few words,
00:51:23they will melt,
00:51:25but if you are rigid,
00:51:27you can say,
00:51:29I am busy here,
00:51:31there will be a gap,
00:51:33if you want to have a good relationship,
00:51:35you have to put in a lot of effort,
00:51:37if your daughter-in-law thinks,
00:51:39that she looks good in makeup,
00:51:41she can take out her mother-in-law's clothes,
00:51:43instead of her,
00:51:45she will take out her clothes,
00:51:47you wear this,
00:51:49but you should also look at your mother-in-law,
00:51:51if your daughter-in-law is putting in a lot of effort,
00:51:53you shouldn't go inside and sleep,
00:51:55you shouldn't show more tantrums,
00:51:57she is coming, let her come,
00:51:59because if,
00:52:01she is raising her hand,
00:52:03you should also come half way,
00:52:05both of you should come half way,
00:52:07and if you bring your daughter-in-law close to you,
00:52:09then your son will automatically come close to you,
00:52:11no one understands this,
00:52:13at the end of the day,
00:52:15mother-in-law, daughter-in-law,
00:52:17I have seen 90% families here,
00:52:19their mother-in-law's end is with their daughter-in-law,
00:52:21not with their daughters,
00:52:23if you think,
00:52:25that I give more importance to my daughter,
00:52:27and not to my daughter-in-law,
00:52:29then that is also wrong,
00:52:31now a days we are all educated,
00:52:33so it should be that,
00:52:35you should respect your daughter-in-law,
00:52:37that you know,
00:52:39at the end,
00:52:41my daughter may not be with me,
00:52:43now if I think,
00:52:45I am getting my son married,
00:52:47I should make my daughter-in-law so close to me,
00:52:49that when I die,
00:52:51she should remember me,
00:52:53a lot of daughters-in-law do this,
00:52:55a lot of daughters-in-law do this,
00:52:57when there is a discussion with people,
00:52:59they say,
00:53:01I miss my mother-in-law a lot,
00:53:03one important thing,
00:53:05girls are young at that time,
00:53:07when they get married,
00:53:09they are naive,
00:53:11they don't know,
00:53:13how much to talk to whom,
00:53:15everyone talks to their mother-in-law,
00:53:17how much to talk to your mother-in-law,
00:53:19new girls understand this,
00:53:21like she used to go to school,
00:53:23what happened in school,
00:53:25what happened with friends,
00:53:27she used to tell everything to her mother-in-law,
00:53:29she has developed this habit,
00:53:31from childhood till now,
00:53:33now how much she has to stop,
00:53:35to talk to her mother-in-law,
00:53:37this is a question for both of you,
00:53:39means to talk to your mother-in-law,
00:53:41yes,
00:53:43can she stop, what is the need,
00:53:45sometimes it happens,
00:53:47if you tell everything,
00:53:49don't tell everything about the house,
00:53:51husband, wife, mother-in-law,
00:53:53that's what I am saying,
00:53:55if she doesn't tell, it's better,
00:53:57because mother's point of view is different,
00:53:59to see her mother-in-law,
00:54:01daughter-in-law is different,
00:54:03son is different,
00:54:05if daughter says anything to her mother-in-law,
00:54:07mother can give any wrong advice,
00:54:09and in her mind,
00:54:11that advice is absolutely right,
00:54:13she is giving it after seeing her daughter,
00:54:15she has to live with her mother-in-law,
00:54:17mother-in-law's nature,
00:54:19daughter has understood it well,
00:54:21but mother couldn't understand it well,
00:54:23so she will give her point of view,
00:54:25some daughters filter it,
00:54:27mother has said,
00:54:29listen from one ear,
00:54:31but some daughters,
00:54:33most of the daughters,
00:54:35listen a lot to their mother,
00:54:37they say day is day, night is night,
00:54:39they are like this since childhood,
00:54:41no, mother should not interfere so much,
00:54:43you are in your house,
00:54:45see your house,
00:54:47whatever is happening there, solve it yourself,
00:54:49I don't have that much time,
00:54:51I have a lot of things to do,
00:54:53if she listens,
00:54:55she will tell as much as she listens,
00:54:57we don't know from which environment,
00:54:59what is the exposure,
00:55:01how educated the family is,
00:55:03but the girl should not share
00:55:05the things of her house with her mother,
00:55:07she should do the right thing,
00:55:09and whatever is happening in the house,
00:55:11she should solve it herself,
00:55:13or tell her husband,
00:55:15like Shumaila said,
00:55:17how to improve it,
00:55:19Shumaila, I will ask you,
00:55:21after a short break,
00:55:23keep your points ready,
00:55:25we will tune our girls,
00:55:27it won't be difficult,
00:55:29Inshallah, good morning,
00:55:37Welcome, welcome back,
00:55:39good morning Pakistan,
00:55:41such a lovely show,
00:55:43I wish I could,
00:55:45if I could meet you before marriage,
00:55:47it would have been so beneficial,
00:55:49the difficulties I faced in the beginning,
00:55:51I wouldn't have faced them,
00:55:53and I pray that the girls,
00:55:55who are about to come,
00:55:57don't face them as well,
00:55:59because when a girl is born,
00:56:01this is the first thing she is blessed with,
00:56:03and we are lucky,
00:56:05all parents take care of their kids,
00:56:07with love,
00:56:09but I have also seen,
00:56:11that sometimes,
00:56:13parents say,
00:56:15what good deeds we have done,
00:56:17that our daughter got such a house,
00:56:19that she is happily married,
00:56:21so,
00:56:23first impression is the last impression,
00:56:25we were talking,
00:56:27we will continue the same,
00:56:29to stop the interference of the mother,
00:56:31or to what extent the girl,
00:56:33should share things with her,
00:56:35I think the girl should not share,
00:56:37those things,
00:56:39which are controversial,
00:56:41if I give my own example,
00:56:43I got married,
00:56:45and I went to Saudi Arabia,
00:56:47phones were not available there,
00:56:49so I couldn't share much,
00:56:51secondly,
00:56:53my mother gets anxiety,
00:56:55the mother with anxiety,
00:56:57can also get sick,
00:56:59if you are sharing such things,
00:57:01and the same thing,
00:57:03as Seemi said,
00:57:05she can give you wrong advice,
00:57:07my daughter is married,
00:57:09I don't know,
00:57:11what is the situation,
00:57:13in her in-laws,
00:57:15she knows better,
00:57:17what is the situation there,
00:57:19she can handle it,
00:57:21so, mothers should not,
00:57:23over share,
00:57:25over sharing means,
00:57:27whatever they don't want to share,
00:57:29they are sharing,
00:57:31mother has gone into depression,
00:57:33because,
00:57:35sometimes,
00:57:37you have ruined,
00:57:39your parents house,
00:57:41they are also fighting,
00:57:43in their house,
00:57:45so, it is better,
00:57:47you solve it yourself,
00:57:49talk to your husband,
00:57:51and try to,
00:57:53calm him down,
00:57:55and I think,
00:57:57mothers should,
00:57:59think of it as their daughter,
00:58:01the problem is,
00:58:03we are 50-60 years old,
00:58:05and the girl is 25 years old,
00:58:07or 27 years old,
00:58:09or 30 years old,
00:58:11we say, we can do this,
00:58:13why can't she do this,
00:58:15she has just come,
00:58:17you tell her,
00:58:19this is not done,
00:58:21when we came for marriage,
00:58:23we did this,
00:58:25why can't she do this,
00:58:27we have 4 kids,
00:58:29why can't she do this,
00:58:31that comparison starts like this,
00:58:33she has come,
00:58:35and you are guiding her,
00:58:37in a mature way,
00:58:39be a mentor,
00:58:41not mom-in-law,
00:58:43they say monster-in-law,
00:58:45I call my son-in-law,
00:58:47monster-in-law,
00:58:49he is my sweetheart,
00:58:51my daughter,
00:58:53they are very happy,
00:58:55and they handle each other,
00:58:57in a good way,
00:58:59they smile at each other,
00:59:01you are my son-in-law,
00:59:03and my daughter,
00:59:05you keep a comfort zone,
00:59:07so that no one else,
00:59:09thinks, my mother-in-law is sitting,
00:59:11I don't want to say this,
00:59:13or I don't want to talk to her like this,
00:59:15you said a very good thing,
00:59:17because if you make your mother-in-law
00:59:19an air,
00:59:21then you can't cross it,
00:59:23your comfort level ends,
00:59:25then they can't be one,
00:59:27in one, the over sharing I said,
00:59:29I should have said this in the first segment,
00:59:31when we see the relations of girls,
00:59:33we over share everything,
00:59:35what happens is,
00:59:37you are sitting,
00:59:39I am talking to you,
00:59:41my back is aching,
00:59:43he is in our family,
00:59:45he was sick,
00:59:47they keep it in their mind,
00:59:49they say,
00:59:51we don't want to get married here,
00:59:53so you think very carefully,
00:59:55and over share these things,
00:59:57because people judge you,
00:59:59because you are not together,
01:00:01so they judge you,
01:00:03what is it, what is not,
01:00:05in your family,
01:00:07everyone is sick,
01:00:09every time a taunt is ready,
01:00:11your aunt is also sick,
01:00:13it becomes difficult for you,
01:00:15if you over share,
01:00:17it is obvious,
01:00:19when you are together,
01:00:21the responsibilities of the house,
01:00:23are equally shared,
01:00:25the henna on the hands,
01:00:27is also a part of the responsibilities,
01:00:29it is not a bed of roses,
01:00:31if you show it to the bride,
01:00:33it looks good,
01:00:35it is a fantasy world,
01:00:37you can do anything after marriage,
01:00:39but the burden of the responsibilities,
01:00:41comes on you,
01:00:43the things that get up late,
01:00:45at your mother's house,
01:00:47get over after marriage,
01:00:49how to start handling the responsibilities,
01:00:51how to start doing ads in the kitchen,
01:00:53all these things,
01:00:55should be done,
01:00:57with ease,
01:00:59I think,
01:01:01the mother-in-law should be told,
01:01:03what are her responsibilities,
01:01:05and what are the responsibilities of the mother-in-law,
01:01:07it is a joint family,
01:01:09the sisters-in-law are living together,
01:01:11the work should be divided among them,
01:01:13so that no one is burdened,
01:01:15or a daughter-in-law does not say,
01:01:17I have been told everything,
01:01:19I am looking after the house,
01:01:21so I think it is the responsibility of the mother-in-law,
01:01:23how to start,
01:01:25how a girl should start,
01:01:27in the kitchen,
01:01:29it depends on the girl,
01:01:31how friendly she is,
01:01:35how loving she is,
01:01:37or how caring she is,
01:01:39she has come to a new house,
01:01:41it is her mother-in-law's house,
01:01:43she has to tell her mother-in-law,
01:01:45she has to give her confidence,
01:01:47then she can take her life ahead,
01:01:49but before she comes,
01:01:51it is her mother-in-law's house,
01:01:53she knows what time the food is made,
01:01:55in our house,
01:01:57food is not made at night,
01:01:59food is made before 3 pm,
01:02:01people make food at night too,
01:02:03some things are made fresh,
01:02:05but mostly in the afternoon,
01:02:07our kitchen is off,
01:02:09who will tell the new girl,
01:02:11who has just come,
01:02:13maybe food is made in the evening,
01:02:15so these rules,
01:02:17will be told by the mother-in-law,
01:02:19responsibilities will be shared by the mother-in-law,
01:02:21so in the beginning,
01:02:23she will stand with her in the kitchen,
01:02:25I think, like Simi is saying,
01:02:27mother-in-law will tell her,
01:02:29this is your responsibility,
01:02:31but the girl has just come,
01:02:33let her enjoy for a few months,
01:02:352-3 months,
01:02:37this is not a matter of a few months,
01:02:39this is a matter of the future,
01:02:41my question is,
01:02:43how should she start,
01:02:45she will give input,
01:02:47like if there is a table,
01:02:49she will help,
01:02:51or she will make a salad,
01:02:53I know how to make a good salad,
01:02:55mother-in-law will see,
01:02:57that she is giving interest,
01:02:59small things,
01:03:01or if there is no maid at home,
01:03:03she will give her input,
01:03:05that I know how to make good kebabs,
01:03:07so mother, I will make kebabs today,
01:03:09so these are small things,
01:03:11in our house,
01:03:13when a bride comes,
01:03:15after a few days,
01:03:17she is asked to make sweets,
01:03:19like kheer,
01:03:21now whether she makes a poori or not,
01:03:23she is asked to make kheer,
01:03:25whether she makes it good or not,
01:03:27you praise her,
01:03:29she will be happy,
01:03:31if you ask her what she has made,
01:03:33she will never want to go to the kitchen,
01:03:35after that,
01:03:37if you make the girl do it,
01:03:39she is ready,
01:03:41even if the girl wants it,
01:03:43she will ask for help,
01:03:45then the work starts,
01:03:47you ask for help,
01:03:49ice has broken,
01:03:51one more thing,
01:03:53if she makes something bad,
01:03:55please praise her a lot,
01:03:57or if it is very salty,
01:03:59make it very tasty,
01:04:01if it was less salty,
01:04:03it would have been more tasty,
01:04:05the way girls should choose their words,
01:04:07in the same way,
01:04:09elders should also choose their words,
01:04:11you see,
01:04:13in most of the cases,
01:04:15in-laws are very friendly,
01:04:17although,
01:04:19they have seen the outside world,
01:04:21but still,
01:04:23they always have a soft hand,
01:04:25on the daughter-in-law,
01:04:27that they don't hurt her,
01:04:29otherwise,
01:04:31they have been strict in the house,
01:04:33that father shouldn't feel bad,
01:04:35father shouldn't feel bad,
01:04:37they keep their daughter-in-law,
01:04:39a little light,
01:04:41they praise her a lot,
01:04:43they should also do it,
01:04:45so that,
01:04:47her heart grows,
01:04:49if there is a situation,
01:04:51when there is a lot of work,
01:04:53you see,
01:04:55some daughters-in-law,
01:04:57make breakfast,
01:04:59how to handle it,
01:05:01you can talk to your husband,
01:05:03can we share the duties,
01:05:05I am feeling a little,
01:05:07because I am not used to it,
01:05:09I feel a little exhausted,
01:05:11so for a few days,
01:05:13can you help me around,
01:05:15husband will slap you,
01:05:17he will say,
01:05:19go to office,
01:05:21cook food,
01:05:23the problem is,
01:05:25here in Pakistan,
01:05:27there is everything,
01:05:29but in the whole world,
01:05:31if you see,
01:05:33here mostly,
01:05:35the burden is on the husband,
01:05:37he is doing extra jobs,
01:05:39so if in the kitchen,
01:05:41the responsibilities of the house,
01:05:43will be handled by the woman,
01:05:45then how will you run the house,
01:05:47that's very true,
01:05:49but if you say,
01:05:51the man should sit down,
01:05:53give him a glass of water,
01:05:55this is also not right,
01:05:57if we see,
01:05:59as a human,
01:06:01the husband should move,
01:06:03so that you can,
01:06:05sometimes husbands come and sit,
01:06:07first of all,
01:06:09all the responsibilities of the office,
01:06:11then they drive in the traffic,
01:06:13so that's why,
01:06:15when they come home,
01:06:17they become lazy,
01:06:19those who are running around,
01:06:21they become lazy,
01:06:23because I am living outside,
01:06:25I have taught my children,
01:06:27my son,
01:06:29when he wakes up,
01:06:31he will heat the food,
01:06:33if he has to give water to his father,
01:06:35he will give it to him,
01:06:37if I have said something to him,
01:06:39if I go back home,
01:06:41if I am very tired,
01:06:43he is working from home,
01:06:45but he will get up and do all the work,
01:06:47I always tell him to make his bed,
01:06:49and he makes my bed too,
01:06:51sometimes on Sundays,
01:06:53so this should happen,
01:06:55why are you so dependent,
01:06:57because,
01:06:59my mother has a bad habit,
01:07:01she doesn't teach her children,
01:07:03she teaches them,
01:07:05she sends them to the court,
01:07:07but they become dependent,
01:07:09if they go alone,
01:07:11they can't help themselves,
01:07:13they can't make their own bed,
01:07:15I have trained both of my sons,
01:07:17I have trained them well,
01:07:19I knew that both of them have to go out,
01:07:21the elder one went to study,
01:07:23but the younger one couldn't go,
01:07:25but they have a habit,
01:07:27earlier we used to boil water,
01:07:29then we used to fill the bottles,
01:07:31and keep them in the fridge,
01:07:33so one had to fill the water,
01:07:35and the other had to clear the table,
01:07:37with the maid,
01:07:39but she had to do her duties,
01:07:41how will he make tea,
01:07:43the maid is not there,
01:07:45at some point Nida came,
01:07:47my friend came,
01:07:49I am talking about 10 to 12 year old children,
01:07:51I am not talking about the elder ones,
01:07:53I am talking about the younger ones,
01:07:55and this should happen,
01:07:57you have trained them to go out,
01:07:59but if they start helping their wives,
01:08:01they start breathing like this,
01:08:03like they are helping their wife,
01:08:05but you see,
01:08:07they are life partners,
01:08:09if they help each other,
01:08:11their bonding will be better,
01:08:13women love it,
01:08:15when their husbands help them in the kitchen,
01:08:17this is a very romantic bond,
01:08:19I think,
01:08:21don't do it in the kitchen,
01:08:23make a cup of tea,
01:08:25the girl will be very happy,
01:08:27he is caring,
01:08:29there is no such system here,
01:08:31but there is a lot of bonding,
01:08:33there should be bonding,
01:08:35in my opinion,
01:08:37one more very important thing,
01:08:39I don't know,
01:08:41this is not a tradition in many houses,
01:08:43but it is still a tradition,
01:08:45I have to go to my mother's house,
01:08:47my husband will say,
01:08:49ask your mother-in-law,
01:08:51I don't know,
01:08:53which generation to follow,
01:08:55ask her, tell her,
01:08:57what should be her way,
01:08:59I think,
01:09:01we don't have a system to ask,
01:09:03I don't know if it is there,
01:09:05but mostly it is not there,
01:09:07if you tell her,
01:09:09it is a very good thing,
01:09:11I will not eat dinner at night,
01:09:13I am going to my mother's house,
01:09:15sometimes,
01:09:17in my father's house,
01:09:19there are three people,
01:09:21father, sister-in-law and brother,
01:09:23sometimes it happens,
01:09:25they go to their mother's house,
01:09:27and don't eat,
01:09:29father feels sad,
01:09:31that the food is wasted,
01:09:33tell them,
01:09:35I will not eat dinner at night,
01:09:37I will ask the cook to cook according to me,
01:09:39he says,
01:09:41there is a lot of risk,
01:09:43I also get angry with this,
01:09:45there is a lot of risk,
01:09:47why are you keeping it in the fridge,
01:09:49you need it fresh every day,
01:09:51when you are in a big house,
01:09:53you should tell them,
01:09:55it is a good thing,
01:09:57but I think,
01:09:59asking is not there anymore,
01:10:01asking means,
01:10:03you become so bound,
01:10:05if your parents are not at home,
01:10:07your mother-in-law is not at home,
01:10:09you are sitting to ask,
01:10:11but now we are so mature,
01:10:13I think,
01:10:15mother-in-laws also know,
01:10:17if they have a plan,
01:10:19tell them,
01:10:21they will tell you,
01:10:23they have set the plan,
01:10:25we have two people,
01:10:27we will eat quickly and go to sleep,
01:10:29what should be the way to tell them,
01:10:31I will eat dinner with my parents,
01:10:33something like this,
01:10:35today I had a conversation,
01:10:37someone was coming,
01:10:39my parents were sad,
01:10:41I asked them,
01:10:43today I will eat there,
01:10:45and I am coming back,
01:10:47tell them,
01:10:49I am coming today or not,
01:10:51but you know,
01:10:53you have to send your husband to office,
01:10:55you may be late,
01:10:57or we are taking the keys,
01:10:59small things like this,
01:11:01we may be late,
01:11:03I have the keys,
01:11:05when you share these things,
01:11:07the bonding becomes good,
01:11:09this is not,
01:11:11or you didn't tell them,
01:11:13you left the market,
01:11:15you went to your mother's house,
01:11:17you are living in a joint family,
01:11:19you can't afford this,
01:11:21if you are going to the market,
01:11:23send a voice message to your mother,
01:11:25you have to tell her,
01:11:27if you are shy,
01:11:29some girls are shy,
01:11:31you tell your husband,
01:11:33both of you stand up,
01:11:35and tell your parents,
01:11:37you are not shy,
01:11:39you are going,
01:11:41when you are newly married,
01:11:43you feel shy,
01:11:45so the same thing,
01:11:47husband's role is very important,
01:11:49his important role is,
01:11:51a bridge between
01:11:53mother and wife,
01:11:55and if the husband is weak,
01:11:57if he feels,
01:11:59I am scared of my mother,
01:12:01exactly,
01:12:03because your wife is your responsibility,
01:12:05if you don't
01:12:07support her,
01:12:09and your mother,
01:12:11who raised you,
01:12:13if you don't support her,
01:12:15then you can't do anything,
01:12:17so you have to have a firm personality,
01:12:19that no, she is my mother,
01:12:21you have to deal with her like this,
01:12:23she is my wife,
01:12:25please don't mind,
01:12:27you don't have to talk to her like that,
01:12:29talk to her like this,
01:12:31it's good that both sides are clear,
01:12:33we are taking a short break,
01:12:35after the break, keep watching Good Morning Pakistan,
01:12:45Welcome, welcome back,
01:12:47Good Morning Pakistan,
01:12:49we had set it like,
01:12:51now we will do dandiya,
01:12:53now we will put luddi,
01:12:55but this show is more important
01:12:57than dandiya and luddi,
01:12:59and because,
01:13:01after watching this show,
01:13:03after applying these things in my life,
01:13:05I got a little peace,
01:13:07just for the sake of Dua,
01:13:09please raise your hand,
01:13:11this will be our fees,
01:13:13now a lot of,
01:13:15a question,
01:13:17a lot of girls are housewives,
01:13:19they don't earn,
01:13:21they have never done a job,
01:13:23I think so,
01:13:25even now,
01:13:2775% men are earning in their homes,
01:13:29even now,
01:13:31awareness has come,
01:13:33girls are working professionally,
01:13:35but the girls,
01:13:37who used to take pocket money from their father,
01:13:39now after marriage,
01:13:41they will take pocket money from their husband,
01:13:43they will ask,
01:13:45now they are shy,
01:13:47they don't even ask,
01:13:49and there are things that you need,
01:13:51how long,
01:13:53a lot of girls,
01:13:55ask their father,
01:13:57what to do,
01:13:59how to take initiative,
01:14:01in this,
01:14:03it is very important for a son to be smart,
01:14:05that it was the first month,
01:14:07that he kept pocket money in his hand,
01:14:09a mother should make her son understand,
01:14:11that from the first month,
01:14:13you will give him pocket money,
01:14:15this is a mother's job,
01:14:17a son will not understand,
01:14:19these things,
01:14:21and he should know,
01:14:23that his necessities,
01:14:25his needs,
01:14:27how will he fulfill them,
01:14:29and girls should know,
01:14:31that when you get married,
01:14:33you will not take money from your father,
01:14:35because father will want to give,
01:14:37but maybe he is retired,
01:14:39maybe he doesn't have that much,
01:14:41and he has spent everything,
01:14:43that our Pakistanis,
01:14:45that we got married,
01:14:47and here,
01:14:49there is a lot of dowry,
01:14:51even if he doesn't have it,
01:14:53this is a lot of expenditure,
01:14:55so don't ask from him,
01:14:57ask your husband,
01:14:59that I want this,
01:15:01these are my basic needs,
01:15:03and if he is good,
01:15:05like they say,
01:15:07if a queen has raised him,
01:15:09then he will give you,
01:15:11other than your basic needs,
01:15:13but girls should also see,
01:15:15that how much he is earning,
01:15:17how much he should spend,
01:15:19or how much he should spend on himself,
01:15:21and it is good to save a little,
01:15:23sometimes,
01:15:25girls are naive,
01:15:27they are innocent,
01:15:29they don't take care of things,
01:15:31their mother has taken care of their things,
01:15:33now at the wedding,
01:15:35from in-laws,
01:15:37they get gold jewellery,
01:15:39bangles,
01:15:41the house is full,
01:15:43there are guests at the wedding,
01:15:45so the girl has a fear,
01:15:47and sometimes she gives her gold jewellery,
01:15:49that she is a responsible woman,
01:15:51she is taking care of everything,
01:15:53now what happens,
01:15:55she feels shy to ask again,
01:15:57she shouldn't ask,
01:15:59she should give it to her mother-in-law,
01:16:01I think,
01:16:03I am a very organized,
01:16:05and systematic person,
01:16:07not everyone can be like you,
01:16:09so I will say,
01:16:11she doesn't need to ask her husband,
01:16:13she should take care of her pocket money,
01:16:15because she is new,
01:16:17and after 2-3 days,
01:16:19when her locker is arranged,
01:16:21then you tell her,
01:16:23your locker is arranged,
01:16:25take your jewellery and keep it there,
01:16:27some mothers-in-law keep it in their own locker,
01:16:29what is a new locker,
01:16:31I think it is gone,
01:16:33now there are no such mothers-in-law,
01:16:35you think it is in a certain class,
01:16:37but it is middle class,
01:16:39still,
01:16:41more than relations,
01:16:43jewellery is given importance,
01:16:45then all the jewellery goes in the same locker,
01:16:47but if you feel like,
01:16:49you want that jewellery,
01:16:51you want to wear it for your new marriage,
01:16:53you want to wear it,
01:16:55then you can,
01:16:57filter your speech,
01:16:59say it with love,
01:17:01mom, I really wanted that set you made,
01:17:03nice,
01:17:05seriously,
01:17:07the set you made is so beautiful,
01:17:09I want to wear it and show it to everyone,
01:17:11that my mother-in-law's choice is so good,
01:17:13say it in a diplomatic way,
01:17:15with so much love,
01:17:17that they say wear it,
01:17:19good one,
01:17:21till the time you
01:17:23don't filter your speech,
01:17:25till the time you
01:17:27don't do it in a positive way,
01:17:29it is important to be diplomatic in life,
01:17:31don't look so blunt,
01:17:33now a days,
01:17:35this is a wrong trend,
01:17:37to be honest,
01:17:39by saying to be honest,
01:17:41you break each other's legs,
01:17:43seriously,
01:17:45you say, I am honest,
01:17:47I am saying the right thing,
01:17:49I am blunt, I say it on the face,
01:17:51by saying it on the face,
01:17:53you have broken the hearts of others,
01:17:55exactly,
01:17:57and they can't be joined,
01:17:59that's why you should
01:18:01keep your tongue so sweet,
01:18:03that you should be
01:18:05red on top and red on bottom,
01:18:07you have to do a little drama,
01:18:09I think this is not drama,
01:18:11if you,
01:18:13we are professionals,
01:18:15we have to change ourselves,
01:18:17when daughters-in-law come from one house to another,
01:18:19they also have to change,
01:18:21so you change with so much love,
01:18:23and be so sweet that everyone praises you,
01:18:25now see, if someone is unwell at home,
01:18:27oh,
01:18:29when mom and dad are at home,
01:18:31there is an army to make us angry,
01:18:33but when your in-laws
01:18:35are always unwell,
01:18:37and you have the responsibilities of the house,
01:18:39so,
01:18:41how do you reach them,
01:18:43you don't have the courage,
01:18:45you can't stand up,
01:18:47even when the daughters are unwell,
01:18:49they stand up,
01:18:51now call your husband,
01:18:53and tell your mother,
01:18:55I am very unwell,
01:18:57I can't go to the kitchen,
01:18:59mother and son should deal with each other,
01:19:01call from outside,
01:19:03exactly,
01:19:05it is important to convey the message,
01:19:07but,
01:19:09if you have to do it,
01:19:11you have to win your mother-in-law,
01:19:13you go,
01:19:15don't pull yourself,
01:19:17if you are unwell,
01:19:19you are falling down,
01:19:21it's okay,
01:19:23if you are unwell,
01:19:25sit on the chair,
01:19:27I will help you,
01:19:29it is important,
01:19:31in some families,
01:19:33you have to convey the message,
01:19:35I can't do it,
01:19:37sit on the chair,
01:19:39I will help you,
01:19:41when I am fine,
01:19:43I will help you,
01:19:45if the practice is too much,
01:19:47if I am unwell,
01:19:49it is like a lion,
01:19:51it doesn't matter,
01:19:53if I am unwell,
01:19:55I come for the morning show,
01:19:57if I can come for the morning show,
01:19:59my husband will say this,
01:20:01then you can't cook,
01:20:03so,
01:20:05you have to work,
01:20:07for the relations,
01:20:09you shouldn't take it lightly,
01:20:11you will have a good life,
01:20:13when you work for them,
01:20:15thank you so much,
01:20:17for teaching us so much,
01:20:19everyone is getting a lot of knowledge in today's show,
01:20:21that's what I am saying,
01:20:23this thing,
01:20:25your blood relation,
01:20:27instead of it,
01:20:29if you don't have a blood relation,
01:20:31then sometimes,
01:20:33what someone else says,
01:20:35can be very useful,
01:20:37so, this free knowledge,
01:20:39is for you,
01:20:41thank you so much,
01:20:43may God bless you,
01:20:45good morning Pakistan,
01:20:47and Khuda Hafiz,