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TVTranscript
00:00♪
00:30♪
01:00So, when is this photo show, Liz?
01:15This afternoon, Beetlejuice.
01:23Wouldn't it be great if someone actually bought one of my pictures?
01:26No sweat, babes.
01:28I know my photographs were good.
01:30The problem is gonna be picking which one to enter.
01:33These all look good enough to eat.
01:35Ah!
01:36Beetlejuice.
01:37What, what, what?
01:39The one I enter has to be the best photograph I've ever done.
01:42Then it's as good as sold, babes.
01:46Hmm.
01:48Listen, Liz, gotta go.
01:50I have to feed my fish.
01:52Do my piranha.
01:53Ah, squeeze you later.
01:56Where am I gonna find money to buy that photo?
02:00Really, Charles.
02:05I suggest you phone a proper repairman.
02:10No need.
02:11All I have to do is just tighten this nut.
02:22Well, this looks like a quick way to make a buck.
02:27A creak in your coffin?
02:28Worms in your wood?
02:29A crack in your putty?
02:30I'll fix them, but good.
02:32I'll shorten your circuits, unplug your nose.
02:36And trim your toenails.
02:38Hey, so it doesn't rhyme.
02:39I'm a handy dandy man, not a poet.
02:42How are you with leaks?
02:44When it comes to leaks, I'm king of the drips.
02:46Where's the problem?
02:48I'm under the sink trying to fix the leak.
02:53Charles, meet Mr...
02:55Beetleman.
02:56Mr. Beetleman, the handy dandy man.
03:01That's handy dandy handy man, ma'am.
03:03The original plumber's helper in the flesh.
03:06Know what I mean?
03:08Good.
03:09Help me up so I can lie down.
03:11Look before you leak.
03:13That's what I always say.
03:17I don't need to charge you extra.
03:19I'm allergic to water.
03:21I can buy Lydia's photo
03:23and have enough cash left over for a beetle burger and flies.
03:28I should do it.
03:29Dry as a desert beetle.
03:31All I got to do now is plug in the old dishwasher
03:34and collect my money.
03:36This is the one.
03:37My best ever.
03:40Ah!
03:45Ah!
03:48Ah!
03:51Beetlejuice?
03:53That's Beetleman, dear.
03:55I'm taking your father for a nice relaxing walk.
03:58Now don't you bother Mr. Beetleman.
04:01Beetlejuice, what are you doing?
04:03Just fixing a little leak for your folks, babes.
04:07My darkroom is totally dark.
04:10A dark, darkroom?
04:11What a concept.
04:13Beetlejuice.
04:14What?
04:15If you don't fix it...
04:16All right!
04:17I know how to handle this.
04:19I need professional help.
04:21You're telling me.
04:23Just hurry and fix it, please.
04:25This photo show means a lot to me.
04:28All I need are the right tools and a little elbow grease.
04:31Wow!
04:32I'm down a quarter.
04:34A box of ghoul tools from the Neitherworld hardware store should do the trick.
04:38Let's see.
04:39I think I need a hammer.
04:41A hacksaw.
04:44A monkey wrench.
04:46And, of course, a jackhammer.
04:49Pleased to make your acquaintance there, Chief.
04:51Let's get to work.
04:53And a drill sergeant.
04:54Fall in, soldiers!
04:56All right, ghoul tools.
04:58Charge!
05:00Yeah!
05:02Yeah, what in a hard day's work.
05:05Now it's beetle time.
05:14Rise and shine, mister!
05:17The leak's fixed.
05:19And about time, too.
05:21Look at that.
05:22Am I a craftsman or what?
05:23Let's see.
05:24Including the patch job and the dishwasher, I should make enough.
05:27Hey, just a minute, pal.
05:29Seeing as we did all the work,
05:30I tell you, Mr. B, a little recognition is in order.
05:33If you know what I mean.
05:34Recognition?
05:35You guys are nothing without me.
05:38I'm the handyman.
05:39I get the cash, and you get back in the box!
05:44No!
05:48Well, then fix this, Mr. Handyman.
05:52No, you fool!
06:01Whoa!
06:08Deadly voodoo.
06:10Hi, lids. How's it going?
06:14Ah! Beetlejuice!
06:17Whoa!
06:21Hey, where'd everybody go?
06:24Ah!
06:26Whoa!
06:27So, now you're gonna show us a little respect, mister?
06:30Respect?
06:31I'll show you respect.
06:33No wrench is gonna make a monkey out of Mr. Beetleman.
06:36Look, if you wanna do good out, that's fine with me.
06:39Whoa! Whoa!
06:42Whoa!
06:46You can't shake me up!
06:49Oh, you have to do cliche things.
06:51What a tool.
06:57Lids!
06:58It's not my fault. It's my ghoul tools.
07:01Their screws are loose.
07:06Beetlejuice, they're wrecking the whole house!
07:09Stop!
07:11Okay, the show's over.
07:14Cover me, babes.
07:18Hey!
07:22Ah!
07:26Whoa!
07:30You gonna say it?
07:32You guys can all rust and go to scrap.
07:35Know what I mean?
07:37Okay, men, let's renovate him.
07:41Yeah, let's change him from a duplex to a bungalow.
07:44No!
07:52Quick! Time!
07:54Yeah!
07:56About time!
07:59Time for the handyman to use his feet. Let's go!
08:05Hey, we've been tricked.
08:07Let's get him.
08:09Yeah!
08:17This time you've really gone too far, Beetlejuice.
08:20Me? It's those tools!
08:23It's a poor workman who blames his tools, mister.
08:27So is that recognition, pal?
08:29Yeah!
08:30Not yet!
08:31That's power tools for you, babes.
08:33Give them a little, and it goes right to their heads.
08:36Maybe if you admitted you couldn't do it without them.
08:39I've never admitted anything in my life, or even after it.
08:43Let's get him.
08:45Ah!
08:47Beetlejuice!
08:48I don't even admit the things I'm most proud of.
08:51Beetlejuice!
08:52Like, guess who put the snail on the mayor's toothbrush.
08:55Beetlejuice!
08:56Hold it! Say it again, and I'm out of here.
08:58Without a check.
09:00Ah!
09:01Whoa!
09:03Okay.
09:05But even if I can't fix a little leak myself,
09:08I'm still king of the drips.
09:10I know that. Tell them.
09:12Hear that, you guys?
09:14I said I can't fix anything.
09:17What's that, mister?
09:19I'm all thumbs, okay?
09:22We can't hear you!
09:25I said I'm a klutz!
09:27That's all we wanted.
09:30Yeah, just a little respect.
09:33All right.
09:34Let's show Mr. Beetle Thumbs how to do things right.
09:37Yeah!
09:40I'll get out of here.
09:43Looks like I'll be able to finish my photo for the show after all.
09:47Don't mention it.
09:52Ah, Mr. Beetleman.
09:54Enjoy your walk, Mr. D?
09:56Yes, but I thought I heard...
09:58Ah!
10:00Gee, everything is remote control nowadays, isn't it?
10:04Everything but the man behind the wheel.
10:08Everything but the man behind the tools.
10:14I see you fixed the leak, Mr. Beetleman.
10:17Sure did, Mrs. D. It was easy.
10:22With the help of the right tools.
10:24Well, pay the man, Charles.
10:29My picture for the photography show!
10:32I finished it, and it's great!
10:34And you were doubting your artistic ability.
10:37Charles, come look.
10:39It runs in the family.
10:42Goodness, I'm no Siskel and Ebert,
10:44but it looks sensational, sweetheart.
10:46Sensational?
10:48It's the best thing you've ever done.
10:50I've ever seen.
10:52It's as good as sold, kid.
10:54No, I like it so much, I'm not going to sell it.
10:57What?
10:58I've decided I'm going to give it to you, Beetle...
11:01Mr. Beetleman.
11:02Hey, I don't know what to say.
11:04Thanks might be nice.
11:06Okay, thanks.
11:07The Beetleburgers are on me.
11:09Beetleburgers?
11:11Exterminator joke. I do that on the side.
11:14Well, I'm not laughing, Beetleman.
11:16You didn't fix the leak.
11:18It's not my fault.
11:20It's these secondary tools of mine.
11:23I'm going to trade them in on some new ones.
11:25I'll be back first thing tomorrow to fix that leak, Mr. D.
11:29This time I'll fix it real good.
11:35Here we go again.
11:40Now back to Beetlejuice.
11:44BEETLEJUICE
11:57Rule number one for pulling pranks without getting caught is...
12:02Be invisible.
12:13Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
12:18That's Delia.
12:20Now she's got one of them fancy European fountains on her lawn.
12:26Beetlejuice, you have got to stop playing pranks on my parents.
12:31All I'm trying to do is have a little fun.
12:33But if you keep it up, sooner or later my parents will find out about you.
12:36And then they'll never let me see you again.
12:39Oh, they...
12:42Hey, they can't keep us apart.
12:44They can if they make me promise I won't see you again.
12:47So you've got to promise as my best friend.
12:51Okay, okay, okay. I promise. No more pranks.
12:57Delia, don't play with your worm at the table, dear.
13:02Try to relax. Try to relax.
13:05There, there, Charles.
13:07My world-famous spaghetti will calm you down.
13:13Spaghetti?
13:15Oh, I love pulling pranks with spaghetti.
13:18I know I promised they wouldn't, but how can a meatball like me resist?
13:32Young lady, go to your room.
13:35It wasn't... It wasn't...
13:37It wasn't very funny, was it?
13:42But how can you blame me, Lydia?
13:44Your parents make it so easy.
13:47I know, I know.
13:49But don't you have any willpower?
13:51Willpower?
13:52That little voice inside your head that tells you when you're doing something wrong.
13:56I never do anything wrong.
14:01Whoa. I might have spun the wrong way, though.
14:03But you gave me your promise.
14:05Oh, what's so important about keeping a... What do you call it again?
14:09A promise!
14:11And it's important to me.
14:13Beetlejuice, I want you to say you're sorry.
14:17You're sorry.
14:18Beetlejuice, just say it.
14:21It.
14:22I'm being punished because of you.
14:24Until you apologize, these are the last words you're going to hear from me.
14:28Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
14:30Huh?
14:33Whoa!
14:37We'll see who's not doing the talking around here.
14:55I know. I'll watch a little TV.
14:59Are you lonely? Confused? Depressed?
15:03Well, so are thousands of friendless worms in our community.
15:09But you can help them with new Worm Your Way deodorant.
15:15Soon, dozens of these love-starved critters will be worming your way.
15:20Worm your way.
15:23From Creep Industries.
15:28Worms. Nobody was as nice to worms as her.
15:33Nobody was as nice to me as she was.
15:36I can't get her out of my mind!
15:41Whoa!
15:44Whoa!
15:54Lydia?
15:56Can you hear me?
16:00Uh, yes. Can you hear me?
16:05Guess you want me to get you out of there.
16:07Your wheels are turning, babes!
16:09Uh-oh. Beetlejuice must be thinking of ways to get me out of his head.
16:13Hmm. Thought balloons.
16:16Beetlejuice, no!
16:24He has to say something to get me out of here.
16:27Come on, Beetlejuice, think!
16:31Huh?
16:35A train?
16:39Lydia! It's such a thrill to meet you.
16:44I'm Beetlejuice's willpower. You can call me Will.
16:48I didn't think Beetlejuice had any willpower.
16:51I'm not surprised.
16:53Hop aboard, Lydia. Come on, come on, come on.
17:00Uh, what's a train doing inside Beetlejuice's head?
17:04Oh, it's, uh, Beetlejuice's train of thought.
17:08Where does it go?
17:09Who cares? As long as it's away from Frankenstein!
17:15Frankenstein is the one who talks Beetlejuice into pulling all those terrible pranks.
17:21Oh, I see.
17:23I'm supposed to stand up to Frankenstein,
17:27but I don't do a very good job.
17:41That's Beetlejuice's gross factory, where he gets all his gross ideas.
17:50Is all this going on in Beetlejuice's mind?
17:52It's a wonder he ever thinks of me at all.
17:55Oh, that's not true, Lydia. He thinks about you all the time.
18:00See? He's shrine to Lydia.
18:03Gee, what a surprise.
18:07I take care of the place for him.
18:10And, of course, we do take donations.
18:13Of course.
18:17Whoa! She's got to be out of my mind by now.
18:21Lydia!
18:26Lydia wouldn't put worms in our spaghetti.
18:29You're right, Delia. We must have imagined we saw worms.
18:34Lydia! Oh, Lydia!
18:38We've come to apologize, dear.
18:41There's that word again.
18:43We made a terrible mistake.
18:46Yes, but it's all right, Mother. We all make mistakes.
18:51I'll be down in a moment.
18:54We'll wait downstairs, sweetheart.
19:00Downstairs?
19:02Oh, Beetlejuice, have I got a prank for you.
19:06Downstairs?
19:08Oh, I feel a prank coming on.
19:12Uh-oh, it's a prank that Frankenstein wants Beetlejuice to pull on your parents.
19:18Ah!
19:21Will, stop him!
19:24I suppose I could do my job.
19:31This fight will decide if Beetlejuice pulls a prank on the nieces.
19:36Gentlemen, you know the rules.
19:38Whoever wins gets control over Beetlejuice's mind.
19:43Surprise!
19:45I can't hardly wait, so I won't.
19:49Will, look out!
19:52Come on, Will, fight back! Do it for me!
19:56Okay. Do you bite your nails?
20:00Allow me!
20:09Go, Will, go!
20:12Hey, come back here, you!
20:21You did it, Will. Beetlejuice finally has willpower.
20:28But not very much.
20:31What's going on in there?
20:33I just had a great idea for a prank, but I forgot what it was.
20:43You'd better get out of sight!
20:47That's it! Out of sight, out of mind!
20:51Will, can Beetlejuice hear you?
20:53If I talk real loud...
21:00Then say it with me, quick! Out of sight, out of mind!
21:04Out of sight, out of mind!
21:07Out of sight, out of mind!
21:10Out of sight, out of mind!
21:14That's it, then! Out of sight, out of mind!
21:29Ever notice how much easier it is to comb your hair when you take off your head?
21:35Hey!
21:38Hey!
21:40Beetlejuice, that apology...
21:42Oh, all right.
21:45I'm so stupid for making a promise like that!
21:50Beetlejuice!
21:51What? Come on, Lids, you know what I mean.
21:54Yeah, I know what you mean. Thanks, Beetlejuice.
21:59Great! Now, explain to me, babes, what does this mean?
22:03What does this mean?