• 2 days ago
Lola Bouvier, 25, a fallen ice-skating star with an outsize ego, decides to become “the greatest roller-derby champion of all time,” but unwittingly joins one of France’s worst teams: the Cannibal Unicorns!

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00No, it's no. You won't go to Julie's birthday after the training you just did.
00:06But she's my girlfriend!
00:08Girlfriends are useless.
00:10Look at me when I'm talking to you.
00:13Remember what I'm going to tell you, Lola.
00:15Any individual who isn't you is an enemy.
00:18But Mom, there's going to be a magician! You promised me!
00:22And you promised me to skate well.
00:24You see, we're both disappointed.
00:30I'm sorry.
00:44It's time for this grand finale of the first edition of the Moondair League Cup.
00:48The teams that are going to compete are the Cannibal Unicorns and the Black Weardos.
00:52And the audience has responded well to this match.
01:00Not picking up.
01:06Hello?
01:08Hello?
01:10It was a guy. I hung up.
01:12Weird, isn't it?
01:13It's the cop who has his phone.
01:17What is she doing?
01:18Maybe she's dead.
01:19I really hope she's dead because I'm going to...
01:23So?
01:24Nothing. I looked everywhere.
01:26Fuck.
01:31It's the tile.
01:42Do you have other children?
01:45No.
01:46No, it's a little girl I'm training.
01:48Shan Ping.
01:50She's really strong.
01:52Not as strong as you at her age, but she's got the mental.
01:54That's the most important thing.
01:57I'm a derby skater now.
02:00That's good.
02:02Do you know?
02:03No.
02:06So...
02:08You live here now.
02:11That's nice.
02:13And the neighborhood is nice?
02:18You didn't come to talk about it after ten years, did you?
02:22No.
02:24No.
02:27I need to know.
02:28Know what exactly?
02:31We're going to lose.
02:32No, I'm sure it's going to happen.
02:33You think?
02:34Girls, listen to me.
02:37Look at me.
02:39You have to believe in us.
02:41We're a team.
02:42With or without Hardwill, we're a fucking team.
02:45It's our game.
02:46It's our final.
02:48It's an honor for me to have coached you
02:50and to have accompanied you in this battle.
02:52Today, I'm going to die for you on the track.
02:56Who am I?
02:57Acid.
02:58A unicorn.
03:00I want you to remember that during the game.
03:03I will never give up
03:04and I will give everything that is in me.
03:06Who am I?
03:07A unicorn.
03:09No one will stop me.
03:10No one will beat me.
03:12No one will oppose me.
03:13Who am I?
03:14A unicorn.
03:16Beside me, I have my friends
03:17from the biggest to the smallest.
03:19I will never abandon them.
03:20Who am I?
03:21A unicorn.
03:22Who am I?
03:23A unicorn.
03:24Who am I?
03:25A unicorn.
03:39It's been so long.
03:46You don't know what I've been through.
03:50After the World Championships,
03:51I suffered a lot.
03:54The looks of the people.
03:56The low masses when they saw me.
03:59The merchants who didn't say hello anymore.
04:02No one was there for me.
04:05Not even your father.
04:07Do you know what he said to me
04:08when I told him I wanted to move?
04:09He said,
04:12but I'm a maid.
04:14I can't leave.
04:17Do you know what I felt
04:18when I cut his fingers off?
04:20Nothing.
04:25Nothing.
04:30Nothing at all.
04:32I wanted to win so much.
04:35And you wanted me to.
04:36Of course I wanted you.
04:39But not for the Bolshevik fingers.
04:41Then why?
04:43Because you had everything to be the best.
04:47This gold medal was ours.
04:55The Black Weirdos make their entrance on the track.
04:58Three-time champion of France Elite,
04:59it's the favorite team for this match.
05:02Mawa Bunga.
05:04Looney Tunes.
05:06Charlie.
05:07Bison.
05:08Alistair Hicks.
05:09Hilda Van Smasher.
05:11Barbie Misery.
05:16We're gold!
05:17We're gold!
05:18We're gold!
05:19We're gold!
05:20We're gold!
05:21We're gold!
05:22We're gold!
05:27And it's up to the cannibalicorns
05:28to make their entrance.
05:30Come on, girls!
05:31Come on, we're here!
05:32Come on!
05:33Come on!
05:34Come on, come on!
05:35Come on, come on, come on!
05:37Don't let them discourage you, girls.
05:41Come on!
05:43Come on, come on, come on!
05:44Come on, come on, come on!
05:45Come on, come on, come on!
05:46Come on, come on, come on!
05:47Come on, come on, come on!
05:48Come on, come on, come on!
05:50Isn't your starlet here?
05:52Of course she is.
05:53She's got a setback.
05:55A setback?
05:56It would be a shame
05:57if she missed the chance
05:58to get humiliated on the track.
06:00You're mean, Barbie Misery.
06:01Oh, no.
06:02No, not her.
06:03She's mean.
06:04Hilda.
06:05You'll take care of this one.
06:07Good game.
06:08Shh.
06:13I'm going to ask you
06:14to make one minute of noise
06:16in memory of the Mouthbreakers.
06:33Not a word.
06:34Nothing.
06:36It's so easy.
06:39It's so easy
06:40to have the role of the victim.
06:43The nice little Lola
06:44abandoned by her mean mother
06:46when I sacrificed everything for you.
06:50I would have stayed
06:51if I hadn't missed my reception.
07:00Thanks for the tea.
07:02And you know,
07:03maybe I didn't have
07:04the right mind for ching chong.
07:05Ching pong.
07:07But I was your daughter.
07:13You know, Lola,
07:16I wasn't made to be a mother.
07:19Can you understand that?
07:23Yes, coach.
07:32Hello, I'm looking for Lola Bouvier.
07:33Is this your replacement?
07:34No.
07:35Here, your pompoms.
07:37Where are your suspenders?
07:38I don't know.
07:39Sorry.
07:40Hurry up, you're late.
07:41Okay.
07:42And we're proud to have
07:43the Power Mothers of Europe!
08:03Leaving the dreamers behind
08:08You close your eyes
08:12You're trying to feel the Caribbean breeze
08:20Fuck, not everything.
08:22What were you expecting?
08:25Come on, stop whining about your fate.
08:28It's easy for you to say that.
08:30You haven't lived what I've lived.
08:33How old are you?
08:34Ten.
08:35You'll see in a few years
08:36when you'll be in the world championships.
08:40Wait, that's...
08:42Fuck, that's Mika!
08:46What are you doing here?
09:03I can tell you how I feel now
09:06No one's gonna try to make me fall down
09:10I'll open up, I'll carry on
09:15I'm learning to fly like a butterfly
09:24I feel...
09:26so...
09:27Alone?
09:28Yeah.
09:34Fuck, you're in my head!
09:35You can't hit me!
09:39But everyone feels alone.
09:41Everyone feels misunderstood.
09:43It's the only way to believe we're unique.
09:46But the truth
09:48is that no one is unique.
09:50That's how life is.
09:52You're born.
09:54You feel alone.
09:56You die.
09:59And to make it less boring and unbearable
10:01we do it with the people we love.
10:03It allows us to forget all this mess.
10:05That no god will come to save us.
10:07To forget our problems
10:09from the most existential to the most futile.
10:11Beautiful, not beautiful.
10:12Big, thin.
10:14Big, small.
10:15Known, unknown.
10:17Lose, win, but we don't care!
10:20That's not what matters.
10:22What matters is to move forward.
10:24And we don't move forward alone.
10:25We don't move forward alone.
10:33Calm down.
10:34You're only ten.
10:35Ouch.
10:37Come on Louise, come on.
10:39Pathetic.
10:46And it's the final blow
10:48between the Black Birdos
10:49and the Cannibal Unicorns.
10:51Aside Cyprien who can't get past
10:53the enemy wall on this first jump
10:55and who gets the lead.
11:02Barbi Misori who manages to get past
11:04and who gets the lead.
11:16The captain is James De Wilders
11:18who takes the outside and who scores.
11:22And Barbi Misori who calls.
11:25Fuck this shit.
11:29Bonsoir.
11:30You take the jammers individually.
11:32Here you go.
11:33Come on girls.
11:35Go ahead.
11:37Change of jammers for both teams.
11:39Karma for the Cannibal Unicorns
11:41and Bison for the Black Birdos.
11:53Karma is in trouble.
11:54She can't get out of the pack.
11:56And the Cannibal Unicorns
11:58who are badly led in this opening match.
12:00Oh la la.
12:01Evil gesture on Bison.
12:03It's the prison for Mother Blocker.
12:09Great opening match
12:10for the Black Birdos
12:11who lead the brand
12:13in this first half.
12:15I didn't think it would be so easy.
12:16Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
12:18Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
12:20Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
12:22Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
12:23Shukumoon.
12:24Take care of Hilda.
12:26Really?
12:27But why?
12:28The others follow Barbi.
12:31OK?
12:35We're going to tear her apart.
12:47Oh.
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17:36the game that everyone has to play.
17:38Mother, it's not Zizou.
17:39Absinthe, it's not Zizou.
17:41Little man, it's not Zizou.
17:43Muscle your game, J'Koumoun.
17:44Muscle your game.
17:45If you don't muscle your game,
17:46be careful, you're going to have problems
17:48because you're too nice.
17:49Is that my jacket?
17:50Yes.
17:52Okay, I have a plan.
17:53You stay on the tripod
17:54and let the power of Surya Bonali be in you.
17:56Trust me.
17:57Cannibal!
17:58Unicorn!
18:07Unicorn!
18:14Unicorn!
18:37Hardwill, who has just achieved
18:39a crazy apex in Axel,
18:41it's incredible!
18:42And the Cannibalicorns,
18:43who equalize
18:44the crazy stuff!
18:47Last Jam of the sudden death.
18:49Who, the Cannibalicorns
18:50or the Black Weirdos,
18:52will win this first edition
18:54of the Moon Derby Cup?
18:55Let's go for the last Jam.
19:02And Hardwill,
19:03who can't get out of the pack.
19:06Barbie Misery,
19:07who tries to sneak away.
19:10The Cannibalicorns,
19:11who are solid for the moment.
19:15It's extremely tight
19:16between the two teams.
19:17Who will win
19:18this first edition
19:19of the Moon Derby Cup?
19:22Hardwill tries to pass
19:23and it's Barbie Misery!
19:26Oh, look at that, Patrick.
19:29Isn't it beautiful,
19:30the sunset?
19:32When you see that,
19:33you think
19:34it's going to be beautiful.
20:05I'm sorry, Azit.
20:10Hardwill,
20:11you're the best jammer
20:12I've ever seen
20:13in my life.
20:35Go, Barbie!
20:36Go, Barbie!
20:37Go, Barbie!
20:38Go, Barbie!
20:39Go, Barbie!
20:40Go, Barbie!
20:41Go, Barbie!
20:42Go, Barbie!
20:43Go, Barbie!
20:44Go, Barbie!
20:45Go, Barbie!
20:46Go, Barbie!
20:47Go, Barbie!
20:48Go, Barbie!
20:49Go, Barbie!
20:50Go, Barbie!
20:51Go, Barbie!
20:52Go, Barbie!
20:53Go, Barbie!
20:54Go, Barbie!
20:55Go, Barbie!
20:56Go, Barbie!
20:57Go, Barbie!
20:58Go, Barbie!
20:59Go, Barbie!
21:00Go, Barbie!
21:01Go, Barbie!
21:02Go, Barbie!
21:03Go, Barbie!
21:04Go, Barbie!
21:05Go, Barbie!
21:06Go, Barbie!
21:07Go, Barbie!
21:08Go, Barbie!
21:09Go, Barbie!
21:10Go, Barbie!
21:11Go, Barbie!
21:12Go, Barbie!
21:13Go, Barbie!
21:14Go, Barbie!
21:15Go, Barbie!
21:16Go, Barbie!
21:17Go, Barbie!
21:18Go, Barbie!
21:19Go, Barbie!
21:20Go, Barbie!
21:21Go, Barbie!
21:22Go, Barbie!
21:23Go, Barbie!
21:24Go, Barbie!
21:25Go, Barbie!
21:26Go, Barbie!
21:27Go, Barbie!
21:28Go, Barbie!
21:29Go, Barbie!
21:30Go, Barbie!
21:31Go, Barbie!
21:32Go, Barbie!
21:33Go, Barbie!
21:34Go, Barbie!
21:35Go, Barbie!
21:36Go, Barbie!
21:37Go, Barbie!
21:38Go, Barbie!
21:39Go, Barbie!
21:40Go, Barbie!
21:41Go, Barbie!
21:42Go, Barbie!
21:43Go, Barbie!
21:44Go, Barbie!
21:45Go, Barbie!
21:46Go, Barbie!
21:47Go, Barbie!
21:48Go, Barbie!
21:49Go, Barbie!
21:50Go, Barbie!
21:51Go, Barbie!
21:52Go, Barbie!
21:53Go, Barbie!
21:54Go, Barbie!
21:55Go, Barbie!
21:56Go, Barbie!
21:57Go, Barbie!
21:58Go, Barbie!
21:59Go, Barbie!
22:00Go, Barbie!
22:02You don't want to eat gnocchi?
22:05Hey, girls!
22:07Meet my boyfriend.
22:10Hi, team.
22:12What? No, no, no.
22:13What? No, seriously, that's crazy.
22:15It was real.
22:16Hey, you!
22:18What proves you're the real Sadek?
22:20I don't know, I think it's obvious.
22:22Are you really going out with MJ?
22:24Yeah.
22:25And we're moving soon.
22:27With her mother?
22:28Yeah.
22:29We're taking a dog.
22:30No, a cat.
22:31A dog?
22:32No, a cat.
22:33Oh, no, a dog.
22:34We're taking both.
22:36Pathetic, pathetic.
22:37Sorry, sorry.
22:39New head, hello.
22:44Mika, what are you doing here?
22:46Well, I came.
22:47Why?
22:52Lola, do you want to marry me?
22:55No.
22:56Okay.
22:57We can have dinner together.
23:00No.
23:05The daily life takes its toll on MJ.
23:07We're born, we feel alone, we die,
23:09and to make it less difficult to bear,
23:11we do it with the people we love.
23:14Tell me, Sylvie.
23:15Eight-letter word.
23:18Monotonous?
23:20Not this one.
23:22Oh, yes, it fits.
23:28I can count it.
23:29It's not a game.
23:32Pretty, not pretty,
23:33big, small,
23:35big, skinny,
23:36lose, win,
23:38we don't care.
23:39Well, we don't really care,
23:41but that's not important.
23:45Oh, shit, I just won 50,000 balls.
23:47Oh, shit, oh, shit.
23:49Oh, shit, oh, shit.
23:51Oh, shit, I have to stay the same.
23:53Oh, shit, oh, shit.
24:00Oh, shit, oh, shit.
24:20Welcome to Black Wear Dos,
24:24Zvetlana.
24:29Why, why you came to me?
24:36I shouldn't even care, but you always tendered
24:45I keep, you away from my fears
24:52Away from my fears
24:55Don't be sad of me