Tell Us About Yourself

  • 2 days ago

Category

People
Transcript
00:00Get ready for a game changer, tonight's guests.
00:06The first part of a wave, it's Alfred Aquino the second.
00:10The second part of that same wave, it's Christine Medrano.
00:16And the third part of this incredible wave, it's Jess Ross.
00:21And your host me, I've been here this whole time.
00:26This is Game Changer, the only game show
00:32where the game changes every show.
00:33The wave is still going, it hasn't stopped.
00:37I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:43I am joined today by these three lovely contestants.
00:47Now you all understand how the game works?
00:49We understand that we're not supposed to understand.
00:52That's right, our players have no idea what game it is
00:54they're about to play.
00:55The only way to learn is by playing.
00:57The only way to win is by learning.
00:58And the only way to begin is by beginning.
01:00So without further ado, let's begin.
01:03But first, Alfred.
01:05Yes, hi.
01:06Tell us about yourself.
01:07Oh, that's a loaded question.
01:12I'm a cool, fun guy.
01:15That is correct.
01:18And so that is one point for Alfred.
01:22Moving on to Christine.
01:25Tell us about yourself.
01:28I'm Canadian.
01:29I am sorry, Christine.
01:31I am so sorry, that is incorrect.
01:34No points for Christine.
01:37You are not Canadian.
01:40Jess, tell us about yourself.
01:44I'm a cool, fun guy.
01:46I think we've covered that.
01:48I like to skateboard because it's cool.
01:52Interesting choice, Jess.
01:56I will give you that point.
01:59Alfred, tell us about yourself.
02:01Oh, again.
02:03I like music.
02:06I suppose that's technically true.
02:09Okay.
02:10Christine, tell us about yourself.
02:12I own a car.
02:17Yes, I will give you that point.
02:19That's a point for Christine.
02:21Jess, tell us about yourself.
02:22I'm alive.
02:27Who are you praying to?
02:32Yes, I will give you that point.
02:34Alfred, tell us about yourself.
02:37I like to walk.
02:41Well, yeah, no, I'll take it.
02:44Let me just make sure I have this right so far.
02:46I think that's three for Alfred,
02:49one for Christine, two for Jess.
02:52Christine, tell us about yourself.
02:54I drink water.
02:57Yeah, yeah, I mean, I guess everyone's
02:59just doing really well so far.
03:01Jess, tell us about yourself.
03:05I believe there is something to the way
03:09we're answering these questions
03:11that give us points or not.
03:13You're a wave.
03:15Are we building an identity from the first thing
03:17Alfred said, which means he is a cool guy?
03:20I have been in a movie in the movie theaters.
03:25I'm gonna give it to you.
03:26Which means, correct me if I'm wrong,
03:28that's three points for Alfred,
03:31two points for Christine, and three points for Jess?
03:35I'm losing track.
03:36I could really use a scorekeeper.
03:38Oh, oh, God.
03:42Who is this?
03:43What is happening?
03:45Oh, God.
03:46I didn't mean to summon the scorekeeper, gang.
03:49Oh, this guy creeps me out to no end.
03:54You see, in game show lore,
03:56if you say the word scorekeeper
03:58and there is no scorekeeper,
03:59the scorekeeper is summoned.
04:02Well, we're stuck with them.
04:03I guess we might as well continue.
04:05Alfred, I think that's back to you.
04:07I like to wear clothes.
04:11I'll give that to you, Alfred.
04:13That is a point.
04:14Oh, God, here goes the scorekeeper
04:17with those tiny little nose-scary fingers.
04:20Sick gloves, though.
04:21Yeah.
04:22Christine, tell us about yourself.
04:24I feel like the broader things that we've said
04:26have been giving us points.
04:29I walk in the sun.
04:31Yeah, yeah.
04:32I'll give that to you, Christine.
04:33Well done.
04:34Oh, Jess Ross!
04:35Mm-hmm.
04:36Woo!
04:39Tell us about yourself.
04:39I am going to see if our car is still here for a second
04:45to see if that is Caitlyn Thompson or not.
04:47So I'm gonna be right.
04:48What?
04:52Okay, our car is here, but that doesn't mean
04:55maybe she walked to somebody's house.
04:59I love tacos.
05:03You know what?
05:05I'm not sure if the answer to that question is true or false
05:09and so I'm gonna have to,
05:10I hate to have to do this.
05:12Scorekeeper, does Jess love tacos?
05:15That is a point for Jess.
05:22Well, we're all the way back with Alfred
05:24and I, for one, love the extent
05:26we're getting to know our contestants today.
05:29Makes me feel closer to them.
05:31You know, there's something called
05:32like a parasocial relationship
05:33where the audience really develops
05:34like a one-on-one relationship with the guests.
05:36I think that's what we're establishing here today.
05:38Alfred, tell us about yourself.
05:40Well, I like to make deep dish pizza.
05:45Once again, I find myself a little baffled
05:47as to whether or not this is true.
05:49Does Alfred like to make deep dish pizza?
05:55He does.
05:58Christine, gosh, it's like you and I
06:01didn't get to work close enough together
06:04by the time the company shut down
06:06and so I'm relishing this opportunity
06:08to get to know you better.
06:11Tell us about yourself.
06:12I like pasta.
06:14Pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta.
06:18Christine does.
06:20Jess.
06:21Kate did just walk in, so.
06:26So I'm just gonna tell a flat lie.
06:28I grew up in Australia.
06:30I can safely say, Jess, that the answer to this is no.
06:35All the way back round to Alfred.
06:38Tell us about yourself.
06:39Okay, so that was interesting
06:41because both of the answers that were
06:44where you're from related were wrong.
06:47Yeah.
06:48I like to go running.
06:53No.
06:55Interesting.
06:57God, that mask is creepy.
06:59You know, a little anecdote about those masks
07:02is they were very popular during the 1912 Spanish flu
07:07and they actually did work better than your average mask
07:11but they didn't know why and the reason why
07:12is it puts physical distance between you and someone.
07:16It's like a version of social distancing with a mask.
07:19Christine, I believe that's you.
07:20Tell us about yourself.
07:22I'm gonna try a little something here.
07:24I'm a fun girl.
07:26Squarekeeper, can you tell me, is Christine a fun girl?
07:33No, you are not.
07:36I'm sorry.
07:38Jess.
07:39Well, now that we've all been working together,
07:41it seems like we get no points.
07:42It's only being together for friendship.
07:46Sam lets the terrorists all apart.
07:48Are we all working together to make one person
07:52or something that could be true about the three of us?
07:55I have done videos at College Humor.
07:59Oh!
08:02Squarekeeper has just done videos at College Humor.
08:08Yes, indeed.
08:10Yes, indeed.
08:12Alfred.
08:15So what the, huh?
08:16I think we're either trying to find something
08:18that's all three of us that we have in common.
08:21We're trying to describe Sam
08:23or we're trying to identify who the squarekeeper is.
08:27Hmm.
08:30I am wearing a mask.
08:31Oh, wow.
08:32You are wearing a mask.
08:43Oh!
08:44Wow!
08:46Oh!
08:47Squarekeeper is Alfred!
08:49Wow!
08:50We're guessing the identity.
08:53Yeah.
08:54And it's someone who's from College Humor.
08:56I wear glasses.
09:00No.
09:03How?
09:03That would be hard with that mask.
09:06Did you think it was Grant?
09:07Yeah.
09:08I also thought it was Grant.
09:09Who else is tall that used to work at College Humor?
09:13I write for Samantha Bee.
09:16Ooh, ooh.
09:19I know where Jess is going.
09:22No, I write.
09:23That's okay, it's a hard gig to get.
09:25It's a hard gig to get.
09:29Alfred.
09:29I have dark hair.
09:33No.
09:34We gotta get the score to be 666.
09:40Christine.
09:41I am verified on Twitter.
09:45Oh!
09:49Jess, it's all you.
09:51Trying to think who I know that works at College Humor
09:53that would have that much room in their house for a table.
09:59I was head writer at College Humor.
10:04No.
10:06Alfred, tell us about yourself.
10:08I have been on TV shows.
10:15Indeed.
10:17Christine, tell us about yourself.
10:19I'm so anxious who we're embarrassing ourselves in front of.
10:24Don't forget.
10:25I have a large YouTube following.
10:31Aw.
10:33No, not really.
10:35Okay.
10:37I was on the TV show Six Feet Under.
10:43That's incredible, Jess, but I'll straight up say no.
10:46All right.
10:47You have not been on the TV show Six Feet Under.
10:48You're not Jeremy Sisto.
10:50It's not Jeremy Sisto behind that mask.
10:53Great guess.
10:54Jeremy Sisto, take off that mask.
10:56Alfred.
10:57I have been in more than three College Humor videos.
11:01The scorekeeper has not been
11:03in more than three College Humor videos.
11:06Christine.
11:08I don't know why I'm thinking I'm gonna be able
11:10to tell who this is from staring at their little square more.
11:16Like, let me see those eyes, baby.
11:19I'm a regular on a TV show?
11:22Christine, you are not a regular on a TV show.
11:26So, not an actor.
11:29I am a musician.
11:33No.
11:34Alfred.
11:35I own those fingerless gloves.
11:40Scorekeeper, I'm gonna turn to you
11:42and I'm gonna say you may now,
11:44if you like, verbalize your answers.
11:47Does Alfred own those fingerless gloves?
11:51No.
11:54Christine.
11:55You've been in a College Humor video.
11:57You're verified on Twitter.
11:59You're not a YouTuber.
12:01You've been in TV shows, but that's not your thing.
12:05I am, I'm stand up.
12:10No.
12:12Jess.
12:14Am I a politician?
12:19Okay.
12:20No.
12:21Well, what's left?
12:22You astronaut?
12:23Alfred, tell us about yourself.
12:29Is it Mark Cuban?
12:34Mark Cuban!
12:36Jess is a big Shark Tank fan.
12:37I am.
12:39I mean, like, sit there.
12:39I got some ideas I gotta run through.
12:43I am an athlete.
12:45Oh, athletes are a thing.
12:52Oh, I have an idea.
12:54Well, you can say your idea, Alfred,
12:56cause we're all working together.
12:57Yeah, exactly.
12:59Is someone who doesn't have dark hair,
13:02is tall and enjoys skateboarding.
13:07Is it Tony Hawk?
13:09I am Tony Hawk.
13:11That couldn't be.
13:14It's Tony Hawk!
13:18Shark Tank!
13:25Thank you for letting me out of that mask.
13:34This is incredible.
13:36Thank you for not going down the rabbit hole
13:38of College Humor writers anymore.
13:44Tony, was that any weirder than being on The Masked Singer,
13:48is my question.
13:50I didn't have to wear a mask that long
13:52on The Masked Singer, I'm gonna tell you that.
13:55But this one was easier to see out of.
13:57Oh, I'm happy to hear it.
13:59Thank you so much for playing our bullshit game.
14:03Like, my brain can't compute this.
14:05Alfred, I obviously was excited to have you here today,
14:09Skateboarder that you are.
14:10Would you do us a quick favor and tell us the story
14:14of how you broke your board?
14:18I was in Long Beach skateboarding by Cherry Park
14:20and some guy was like,
14:24oh, let me borrow one of your guys' boards.
14:26And then he kept stressing that he needed a good board.
14:29I was like, yeah, mine is fine.
14:31And then he proceeded to do a trick and snapped it in half.
14:37That almost feels intentional.
14:39Tony, with that, tell our players what they've won.
14:44You have all won new skateboards.
14:46Oh, damn!
14:48Oh my God!
14:50My fiance needs a new house.
14:53And Alfred, because this will be a signed skateboard,
14:57use it at your own risk.
14:59Wow.
15:00It's Tony Hawk.
15:02Oh my goodness.
15:03Thank you for sending me my next Halloween costume.
15:06That is it for us here at Game Changer.
15:09I'm Sam Rice.
15:10Remember, you never know who's been here the whole time.
15:14Good night!
15:15Bye guys!
15:16Bye Tony Hawk!
15:17See you guys!
15:18Tony Hawk!