A surprise marriage proposal thrusts the game into chaos and relationships to the brink HD
A surprise marriage proposal thrusts the game into chaos and relationships to the brink HD
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00♪ Christmas. ♪
00:00:05Very nice.
00:00:06What you got in there?
00:00:08You know the rules.
00:00:09Couples keep their presents a surprise, too.
00:00:12You told me last year.
00:00:13Uh, no.
00:00:15You found it on my credit card statement.
00:00:17Actually, the credit card company called
00:00:18because they were suspicious about a $124 purchase
00:00:21at a gas station.
00:00:23Okay, I needed every last piece of that beef jerky
00:00:25to properly sculpt it into a meat bouquet.
00:00:29Who ended up with that again?
00:00:30John.
00:00:31Oh.
00:00:33Oh.
00:00:34Oh.
00:00:35Oh, it's beautiful.
00:00:38You're not jerking me around.
00:00:40Hey.
00:00:41Remember he tried to plant it in his garden
00:00:43and woke up at 2 a.m. to a yard full of raccoons?
00:00:46Classic John.
00:00:48But seriously, is that more meat?
00:00:50I follow the rules.
00:00:52No hints.
00:00:54All right, well,
00:00:55I will not be taking my chances then,
00:00:58especially after the year this has been.
00:01:01We'll see about that.
00:01:02♪♪
00:01:05It's the ghost of Christmas presents.
00:01:07Get it?
00:01:08Yes, I get it, babe.
00:01:10Where my favorite elves at?
00:01:13Wow.
00:01:14What, did you wrap Marcy's Kia?
00:01:16Isn't there a size limit?
00:01:18Yes, 1 to 8 feet circumference,
00:01:211 to 500 pounds,
00:01:22and $100 value or more.
00:01:24Correct.
00:01:25You ready for this big guy?
00:01:27Uh, yeah.
00:01:28You know, I'm always ready for PJ and Billy's
00:01:31annual white elephant exchange.
00:01:33Oh, I get top billing now.
00:01:35I know you like the top.
00:01:36Oh, wow.
00:01:37Already?
00:01:38Scott and Joey aren't even here yet.
00:01:40All right, you guys need an eggnog concoction.
00:01:42Let's get it set up.
00:01:44It's boring.
00:01:45Well, don't pick it then.
00:01:46Oh.
00:01:49You want?
00:01:50I guess.
00:01:53Rotate, rotate, rotate.
00:01:55Lower.
00:01:56It is fragile.
00:01:57Please be careful.
00:02:00Going high, going high, going high.
00:02:02Go high, go high.
00:02:03Next year, bring something smaller.
00:02:09Are you nervous?
00:02:11Only that you're going to blow it.
00:02:13Just tell me what you get not to take.
00:02:15Red shoe bucks.
00:02:17Knock yourself out with anything else.
00:02:21You do know that eggnog is actually disgusting,
00:02:24and I only drink these for you, right?
00:02:26And that is why you are my favorite.
00:02:28I'll let your gift do the talking.
00:02:30Maybe not this year.
00:02:31No hints.
00:02:32PJ.
00:02:33Okay, so how's the new job going?
00:02:36Um, it's fine.
00:02:38Not exactly inspiring, thank you,
00:02:41but it's paying the bills.
00:02:43And John?
00:02:44Still finding himself, but he's happy, I'm happy.
00:02:47We're good.
00:02:48I wish you were my wife.
00:02:51I think Billy would have something to say about that.
00:02:53I'm pretty sure Billy would rather get stuck
00:02:55with another wine cork bulletin board than a bride.
00:02:59Before I put a cork in it, it's perfect for board meetings.
00:03:04Give me one Riesling, why not?
00:03:08It's not even done, Billy.
00:03:11He did try to sell that.
00:03:13Never works.
00:03:16Did someone say wine bottles and pâtés?
00:03:19I think so!
00:03:20I mean, not technically.
00:03:22Who's got the eggnog whiskey?
00:03:24I'm pushing rum this year.
00:03:25That's how it's aimed, Joey,
00:03:26just need some holiday spirit, if you know what I mean.
00:03:29This is heavy.
00:03:30You have a dolly?
00:03:31Oh, that little thing?
00:03:33Who knows, maybe it's a trick
00:03:34and there's a small little box inside.
00:03:36Oh, come on, that is a rookie move.
00:03:38This is a veteran white elephant.
00:03:42I think the three of us can handle it.
00:03:44Be gentle, all right?
00:03:45She's valuable.
00:03:46Very valuable.
00:03:47No hints, no hints.
00:03:48Did you clear the dollar value this year, Billy?
00:03:51Okay, I spent $123 on that beef jerky.
00:03:54$124.
00:03:55I spent $124 on that beef jerky last year.
00:03:58That's your bad,
00:03:59because my homemade gifts are much more resourceful.
00:04:02And how did making a chair out of duct tape cost $100?
00:04:06Well, we used some of the duct tape for it.
00:04:09Never mind, never mind, never mind.
00:04:11One of my favorites.
00:04:13Is that duct tape?
00:04:15Yes, it is.
00:04:16That's ducking awesome.
00:04:18Is there a weight limit on this thing?
00:04:20Oh, careful.
00:04:21Last person that tried to sit on that
00:04:23got abducted into thin chair.
00:04:26Oh.
00:04:27Huh?
00:04:28Okay.
00:04:29Creativity's encouraged, right?
00:04:31That is correct.
00:04:32Thank you, Marcy.
00:04:33All right, why don't you guys get the gifts,
00:04:35and I will get your lovely lady a cocktail.
00:04:38About time.
00:04:40Cocktail!
00:04:41One, two, three.
00:04:43Oh, yeah, this is heavy.
00:04:45Oh, gee.
00:04:46Oh, gee.
00:04:47Oh, gee.
00:04:50Okay, Joey, what's it gonna be?
00:04:52We have eggnog with just about anything.
00:04:55What kind of mixture goes with every alcohol?
00:04:59Just the eggnog will be fine.
00:05:02What?
00:05:10Oh, my God.
00:05:11Scott doesn't know yet.
00:05:13What about your rope punch?
00:05:14I have mastered the fake drink thing.
00:05:17Watch.
00:05:22That's impressive.
00:05:23No, that's good.
00:05:24Wow.
00:05:25Well, congratulations.
00:05:26I am...
00:05:27Shocked.
00:05:28Yeah.
00:05:29Shocked.
00:05:30Were you guys trying?
00:05:31No, we weren't trying.
00:05:32I think my IUD expired.
00:05:34Honest to God,
00:05:35I was considering gifting mine this Christmas.
00:05:37Sorry, why haven't you told Scott?
00:05:40Is it his?
00:05:41Jesus, PJ, yes.
00:05:42I may be the female Christian Grey in the bedroom,
00:05:44but I am monogamous.
00:05:46Okay, well, I'm gonna tell you something.
00:05:48You're gonna need a lot more leather
00:05:49if you're gonna hide this from him.
00:05:50I'll tell him.
00:05:51I just don't know how.
00:05:52The Joey he loves can hold her own with him.
00:05:56Clyde doesn't want Bonnie pushing around a baby stroller.
00:06:00Okay, they robbed banks.
00:06:01You two just stay up past 11 watching Outer Banks.
00:06:06V. Joey robbed a sperm bank?
00:06:08Okay, ha-ha.
00:06:10I shouldn't have said anything.
00:06:11Just please keep it to yourself.
00:06:14Joey, of course you should tell us.
00:06:16We're your best friends.
00:06:17If we can't conceal your pregnancy from your boyfriend
00:06:20while you work your way through denial,
00:06:22then who can?
00:06:24Yo!
00:06:25Oh, Scott!
00:06:26What are we doing this year?
00:06:27We were just talking about you.
00:06:29Ooh, how about Fog Nogs?
00:06:31Oh, God.
00:06:32Scott, do I dare ask?
00:06:34Egg nog in tequila.
00:06:35Gets you foggy.
00:06:37Oh, I like that.
00:06:38What about nog-on-a-log with celery and peanut butter?
00:06:41I know you're joking, but I would totally try that, actually.
00:06:44No, Scott, no.
00:06:45That's a good idea.
00:06:46All right, cheers.
00:06:47Okay.
00:06:48Cheers.
00:06:49To swapping, right?
00:06:50Cheers.
00:06:51And I'm not talking about our gift exchange.
00:06:53Oh, my God.
00:06:54Why do I even...
00:06:55I don't let him speak.
00:06:56I do not, no.
00:06:58Ebeneezers.
00:07:06Hey!
00:07:07Hey!
00:07:08Mary, don't say it!
00:07:10Are any of us even Jewish?
00:07:11Um, I am.
00:07:13Thank you for remembering, husband.
00:07:15Where's Beth?
00:07:16Oh, uh, she's coming home later.
00:07:18I think she's still getting her gift.
00:07:20What?
00:07:21We don't do last minute gifts.
00:07:23Yeah, she knows no Snuggies, right?
00:07:25Yeah, no, she's just...
00:07:27She's been really, really busy at work lately.
00:07:30But don't worry, she never disappoints, so...
00:07:32That is true.
00:07:33Last year, she brought that electric scooter.
00:07:35Yes!
00:07:36A competitive item.
00:07:38I feel so alive!
00:07:40Hey, scoot over!
00:07:41Let me show you how I roll.
00:07:44Um...
00:07:45That was actually mine.
00:07:47Good to see you, Wayne.
00:07:48Yeah, you guys too.
00:07:49How's it going?
00:07:50Good, how are you?
00:07:51Oh, my gosh.
00:07:52I got you a gift for you.
00:07:53Oh, thanks, man.
00:07:54Uh, what time are we starting?
00:07:55No rush.
00:07:56Whenever Beth gets here.
00:07:57And I reached my pal for while elephantine.
00:07:59You have a pal for everything.
00:08:00Wait, what's a pal?
00:08:01A perfect alcohol level.
00:08:03You know how whenever you're, like, playing billiards or darts or golf,
00:08:06and you get better as you drink,
00:08:08but only when you reach, like, a certain level?
00:08:10And then you take one sip further and you're just terrible?
00:08:12Oh, yeah.
00:08:13That, my friend, is a pal.
00:08:14That is brilliant.
00:08:15So what's your pal for while elephantine?
00:08:17Is that really a verb?
00:08:18Yes.
00:08:19Well, that's the thing.
00:08:20You just have to know it when you reach it.
00:08:22Especially your sex pal.
00:08:25Sex pal is very real, yes.
00:08:27Okay, Wayne, can I get you something to drink?
00:08:29Yes, sure, PJ.
00:08:30Just whatever's easy.
00:08:32Eggnog and rum?
00:08:33Sure.
00:08:34I like the glass, by the way.
00:08:35Oh, thank you.
00:08:36White elephant exchange four years ago.
00:08:38Marcy has never forgiven me.
00:08:41Give them back, or I will kick you in the shin.
00:08:44Try it.
00:08:45Ladies, ladies, keep it glassy.
00:08:49Oh, no.
00:08:51Yeah, that was before we banned holiday-themed gifts.
00:08:54I forgot about that.
00:08:56What about the beef jerky poinsettia?
00:08:58Uh, that was not specifically a poinsettia,
00:09:01although it was a lovely shade of red
00:09:04until John fed it to the neighborhood raccoon faction.
00:09:07You said I could place it anywhere.
00:09:09Wait, why did we ban the holiday-themed gifts again?
00:09:12Because they're generic.
00:09:13I mean, like, bottles of booze.
00:09:15I mean, nobody appreciates a handle of sweet, sweet whiskey more than me,
00:09:19but for white elephant, we could do better than that.
00:09:21That isn't specifically why it was banned, but it is true.
00:09:26You guys, the exchange is a tradition to honor our friendship.
00:09:30And to keep it alive as we get older.
00:09:34The gifts are symbols of that friendship
00:09:36and should be used or displayed or whatever, all year long.
00:09:41Yeah, that's exactly what I told Joey about the sexy nurse costume I got her for Halloween.
00:09:45Yes, same concept, sort of.
00:09:48Well said, babe.
00:09:50Cheers to our lifelong friendship and the creative gifts that represent it.
00:09:57Yay.
00:09:58Cheers.
00:10:03Oh, Wayne's tearing up. That's so sweet.
00:10:06No, no, it's not about you guys.
00:10:09I mean, I love all of you, but it's just...
00:10:13You okay, bud?
00:10:14Is it Beth?
00:10:16Is she dying?
00:10:17No. No, she's not dying, John.
00:10:20She's just...
00:10:23I just don't know if we're going to work out.
00:10:25What makes you think that?
00:10:27Yeah, maybe you're overthinking it.
00:10:29Well, she said, I don't know if we're going to work out.
00:10:32Yeah, that's pretty clear.
00:10:35So, is she not coming? Because that could really affect the exchange.
00:10:39John, can you just not think about that for a minute?
00:10:42Wayne, is there something that happened?
00:10:44Did you propose to her dressing up as furries and she was into it and now it's awkward?
00:10:48That is oddly specific. And no, no, not at all what happened.
00:10:53Really?
00:10:54She just said that she's still figuring herself out and that she's not ready to settle down yet and...
00:11:00Well, who is?
00:11:01Not you, apparently.
00:11:03Well, you're the one who's always saying I'm figuring myself out.
00:11:06What does that mean anyway, settle down?
00:11:08You can't have commitments and still be a fun, normal person.
00:11:11I know, right?
00:11:12Says the commitment phobe.
00:11:14I'm not a commitment phobe. I'm a marriage phobe.
00:11:16We should be a little bit different.
00:11:18Dude, just let her work her stuff out.
00:11:21I mean, you're a world-class guy with world-class friends and she'll realize that.
00:11:26Scott is right. Sometimes women just need a little space to get through our heads.
00:11:33It'll be okay. I promise.
00:11:39Thank you, guys.
00:11:41And please just don't say anything or make it awkward.
00:11:45I mean, she really does love you guys and is really excited about tonight, so...
00:11:49Is that why she waited until today to get her gift?
00:11:51Oh, no, no. I was just lying about that.
00:11:53No, she just wanted to drive separately, so...
00:11:55She gains a bit more respect back from me, then.
00:11:58Girls, should we help PJ with the spread?
00:12:01Oh, I'll help you spread.
00:12:03Oh, Scott. Come on, man. Keep it classy.
00:12:06It is classy.
00:12:12I'm sorry, Billy.
00:12:14Couldn't you wait longer?
00:12:16I know. I don't want to ruin your big night, man.
00:12:18It's fine. We're all together, right?
00:12:20That's what makes it special.
00:12:22And PJ's been wanting this so long, nothing could ruin it.
00:12:25You are a brave man.
00:12:27I mean, I'll be with Joey forever,
00:12:29but there's no reason to make it official.
00:12:31Most married people cheat anyway.
00:12:33I'm not sure that's true.
00:12:35I love being married.
00:12:36That's because your wife financially supports you.
00:12:38Very nice.
00:12:39I'm sorry.
00:12:40She does. It's fine.
00:12:42But it's more than just that.
00:12:43It's more just having someone to share your life with.
00:12:47That sounds nice.
00:12:49So how is this going to work?
00:12:52I try to keep it as simple as possible.
00:12:54It's all about nobody taking my gift,
00:12:56which is the red shoebox, by the way, right up front.
00:12:58We'll draw numbers like we always do for our order,
00:13:01and if she picks near the end,
00:13:03then she'll likely have to pick it first.
00:13:05Holly Jean Adams, will you marry me?
00:13:08Oh, my God, yes!
00:13:10Yes!
00:13:14What if she picks early?
00:13:16Well, then we do what makes the game fun anyway,
00:13:19and we keep stealing from her.
00:13:21Ooh, I want one, honey!
00:13:23Uh-uh.
00:13:25This is mine.
00:13:27Yes!
00:13:29Oh!
00:13:31Oh!
00:13:33Girls night!
00:13:35I will take that thing.
00:13:37Thank you!
00:13:38Ooh, look at this!
00:13:40That's insane!
00:13:42Ooh, well-behaved women seldom make history.
00:13:47Ooh, that is nice!
00:13:50Ooh, nice!
00:13:51I think I'm going to take that.
00:13:53What?
00:13:54Yes!
00:13:56But what if she gets another gift three times?
00:13:58If we see her taking a liking to something,
00:14:01we're going to have to step up our game.
00:14:03Okay.
00:14:04Work together.
00:14:05That's the perfect place for that.
00:14:08Two, yes.
00:14:09What? No!
00:14:12Oh, come on.
00:14:16Hey!
00:14:17Yes!
00:14:20No!
00:14:21That's three.
00:14:22That is three.
00:14:24What the hell?
00:14:25What if we get stuck with something we don't really want?
00:14:27It could happen.
00:14:28And I will make it up to you.
00:14:30Listen, no one is going to be thinking about the exchange after the proposal.
00:14:34We wish you a merry Christmas!
00:14:36We wish you a merry Christmas!
00:14:38We wish you a merry Christmas!
00:14:40And a happy Hanukkah!
00:14:43All right.
00:14:45I guess you've thought of everything.
00:14:47It's going to be great.
00:14:48Best white elephant ever.
00:14:49Yes.
00:14:50Cheers.
00:14:51Cheers, guys.
00:14:52He's so sad for Wayne.
00:14:54He's so sweet.
00:14:55Yeah, it sounds like he's going to be on the market soon,
00:14:58so maybe we could set him up.
00:15:00I did have a little crush on Wayne before Billy.
00:15:04Really?
00:15:05I mean, I didn't really know him, and before I could,
00:15:09Billy swept me off my feet.
00:15:12I thought it was more of a gradual sweeping.
00:15:14Oh, no, no.
00:15:16No, it was instant.
00:15:19How are you feeling, Joey?
00:15:21I don't know how people do this.
00:15:23Sorry.
00:15:24What does it feel like to have another being growing inside of you?
00:15:28It's kind of like this spread, actually.
00:15:34What?
00:15:35I think you're just hungry.
00:15:36No, no, no.
00:15:37It's like a little bit of everything.
00:15:41Some days I feel like my life is over.
00:15:47And then I see the picture of my ultrasound,
00:15:50and I see this strange alien thing growing inside,
00:15:53and even though it really grosses me out,
00:15:56it's my alien thing, and I smile and think about dressing it.
00:16:04Some days I just want to have sex all day.
00:16:14And some days I just want to throw up.
00:16:22And yes, I'm also super hungry all the time.
00:16:27Oh!
00:16:29I'm going to probably have to eat that part?
00:16:32I'm getting a little carried away.
00:16:34Wow.
00:16:35That was a super impressive visual representation of pregnancy.
00:16:40Seriously, guys?
00:16:42What the hell am I going to do?
00:16:44I say tell him tonight.
00:16:46It's all about surprises anyway.
00:16:47That's very true.
00:16:50I don't think it's going to be the right time.
00:16:55Billy!
00:16:56There she is.
00:16:57Come on in.
00:16:58Hi!
00:16:59Sorry I'm late.
00:17:00Work stuff.
00:17:01Yeah.
00:17:02Thank you for hosting again, you know, including us all in You Know What.
00:17:07Hey.
00:17:08Hey, do you want to take this for me?
00:17:10Yeah, sure.
00:17:11Cool, thanks.
00:17:12You sure there's a gift in here?
00:17:13Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
00:17:15Hi, Beth!
00:17:16Hi!
00:17:17Yeah, sorry I'm late, guys.
00:17:19No worries.
00:17:20You didn't miss much.
00:17:22Well, it's great that you guys are all keeping this alive still.
00:17:24I mean, hey, some people do karaoke or hiking.
00:17:27We do a white elephant.
00:17:29You know, I'm actually training for a big climb right now.
00:17:32Yeah, it took me about three weeks to realize that I actually hate hiking.
00:17:36So, stop?
00:17:38You know, I think it's too late.
00:17:39Plus, you know, maybe I'll grow to like it.
00:17:41I thought I would grow to like cuddling.
00:17:44Nope.
00:17:45Really?
00:17:46The worst.
00:17:47I love cuddling with John.
00:17:48He's like a little teddy bear.
00:17:49Aw, you should gift him.
00:17:51Um, no living gifts.
00:17:53Do you guys remember the albino turtle?
00:17:57Aw, he's so cute.
00:17:59It's really rare.
00:18:00I shelled out a lot for it.
00:18:05Mm-mm.
00:18:06Pretty sure Billy just spray-painted him white.
00:18:08Yeah.
00:18:09You know, Wayne and I cuddle.
00:18:11Really?
00:18:12Yeah.
00:18:13I mean, really?
00:18:15That's so sweet.
00:18:16I expected that.
00:18:17Yes!
00:18:18That's cute.
00:18:19We knew that.
00:18:20Um, you want to get a drink?
00:18:24Yeah.
00:18:25Yeah, we have eggnog.
00:18:26It's so good.
00:18:30Deck the halls with boughs of holly.
00:18:36Tis the season to be jolly.
00:18:42Don we now our gay apparel.
00:18:48Troll the ancient yuletide carol.
00:18:54Hey, whatcha doing?
00:18:56Just making sure they all look equally presentable.
00:18:59Hmm.
00:19:00You ever worry you might be going a little overboard sometimes?
00:19:03Hmm, never.
00:19:06Well, I admire your attention to detail, but maybe you could pay more attention to your friends.
00:19:13Hey, I'm down at Marcy at the food, and Wayne and Scott are talking about their fantasy football teams.
00:19:18I'm sad for Wayne.
00:19:20I've known Wayne since his freshman year, and if there's a problem in his relationship, it's not all her.
00:19:26What do you mean?
00:19:27You know, he's insecure.
00:19:29Like, needy.
00:19:31I don't think wanting to be loved means that you're needy.
00:19:36Did I say that?
00:19:38Okay.
00:19:39Anyway, are you ready?
00:19:41Should we start?
00:19:42Yeah, let's do it.
00:19:43I have a feeling there's going to be a big surprise tonight.
00:19:47You do?
00:19:49I mean, there always is.
00:19:51Ladies and gentlemen, gather round, gather round.
00:19:56Let's leave our drinks in the kitchen. We're a four for four years on spillage.
00:20:01Alright, it is time to start what you all came here for.
00:20:05Free food?
00:20:06Okay, yes, but also the fifth-ish anniversary of the White Elephant Exchange.
00:20:15I'm pretty sure it's six.
00:20:17Well, I don't think we count the year we tried to double it as John and Marcy's engagement party.
00:20:21Remember they took all the gifts, we just got cufflinks.
00:20:24Yeah, that was awesome.
00:20:26Alright, before we begin, does anyone have any rule additions or changes they would like to propose for a vote?
00:20:32Yeah, are we old enough to ban the sex stuff?
00:20:35Nay!
00:20:36Sorry, sex stuff lives.
00:20:38Should we reconsider the ban on Guy and Liz?
00:20:41Ooh, I'd be open to that. I miss Liz. What did they even do?
00:20:45No, they missed a year.
00:20:46I know, but I mean, as we get older, that does seem kind of harsh, right?
00:20:49I mean, people have other things, right?
00:20:51That's the idea of the rule.
00:20:53I mean, the whole point of this is to get everybody together.
00:20:56Why even do it if it's something you can just skip and go caroling with your neighbors?
00:20:59I don't think people carol anymore.
00:21:01Well, they should. And we should keep the rule.
00:21:04Okay, then. Let's draw numbers.
00:21:12Dashing through the snow in a one-horse sleigh
00:21:14Oh, the fields we go laughing all the way
00:21:17Bells are about to ring making spirits bright
00:21:20Oh, what fun to ride and sing a song tonight
00:21:23Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle jingle all the way
00:21:28A day or two ago I thought I'd take a ride
00:21:31As soon as Fanny Bright was seated at my side
00:21:34The horse was leaning like misfortune seemed his light
00:21:37He got a cue and drifted back and got outside
00:21:39Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle jingle all the way
00:21:45Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle jingle all the way
00:21:51Let's get ready to ride our sleigh!
00:21:57Wait, take your seat.
00:21:59Beth, hey, take your seat.
00:22:01It's okay. I think I'm going to stand for just a bit. Thanks.
00:22:04Alright, who's first?
00:22:06Oh, that would be me, actually.
00:22:08Lucky!
00:22:09You do remember from doing this multiple times that first was the worst spot, right?
00:22:13Oh, yeah.
00:22:14Nice.
00:22:18Okay, wow.
00:22:24Okay.
00:22:25Make it good.
00:22:28Alright, so I think we are going to start simple this year.
00:22:34What makes you think it's simple?
00:22:36I don't know. I'm just trying to know.
00:22:43That's great wrapping.
00:22:44Good job.
00:22:48Okay.
00:22:50Rose all day.
00:22:53That's the perfect gift for me. Wow.
00:22:55Try it on! Try it on! Try it on! Try it on!
00:23:05Don't get too comfortable in that, buddy. I will take that.
00:23:11Try it on!
00:23:13Try it on!
00:23:16Oh, yeah.
00:23:18Oh, it was made for me.
00:23:21Rose all day and night.
00:23:26Okay, okay.
00:23:27Okay, I am about to lose that to female Hugh Hefner over here.
00:23:31Every Rose has a storm.
00:23:33Nice one.
00:23:34But, I did also have my eye on this.
00:23:43Yeah, please.
00:23:44What is this?
00:23:45What is this?
00:23:52Is this a mechanical bowl?
00:23:54Or...
00:23:55Wait a second, no.
00:23:56It's like an inflatable water toy?
00:23:59Or...
00:24:03Is this a mechanical bowl inflatable water toy?
00:24:06Oh, my God.
00:24:08That's awesome.
00:24:10Now, that is a white elephant gift.
00:24:12Who is that?
00:24:14Thank you, everyone.
00:24:15That's amazing.
00:24:16I don't have a pool.
00:24:17No, it works in lakes, too.
00:24:18I don't care if we're doing it in the tub.
00:24:20We are trying that out tonight.
00:24:22Try it out! Try it out! Try it out!
00:24:26Try it out! Try it out! Try it out!
00:24:35Start slow.
00:24:36Start slow.
00:24:38I'm getting the hang of it.
00:24:44What?
00:24:49Are you okay?
00:24:50Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
00:24:53Oh, my gosh.
00:24:54I am so sorry.
00:24:55Way to grab the bull by the horns there, bud.
00:24:57It's all right.
00:24:58He's a soldier.
00:24:59Let's just corral this over here.
00:25:02Wait, who's up next?
00:25:04I am.
00:25:05Three.
00:25:06All right, here we go.
00:25:07Uh-uh.
00:25:08Turn away, my friend.
00:25:09Oh, relax.
00:25:10I don't believe in taking your own gift.
00:25:12It's not against the rules, though.
00:25:14I'm going to the tree.
00:25:26Hey, hey, hey, gentle.
00:25:35Whoa, whoa, I thought we weren't supposed to be gifting alcohol.
00:25:38Yeah.
00:25:40I stand corrected.
00:25:41Wow.
00:25:44Okay.
00:25:47Maybe Wayne should wear this on the bull.
00:25:50Oh, my God.
00:25:51Is that autographed by DeRoy Jones?
00:25:53Who?
00:25:54Only the greatest tight end in the history of ISU.
00:25:56Oh, I take the greatest tight end ever.
00:25:59Billy's favorite player.
00:26:00What a coincidence.
00:26:01I don't think it's a coincidence, John.
00:26:03Clearly, PJ's using our white elephant to get her boyfriend a cool gift.
00:26:07Blasphemy!
00:26:08That is not true.
00:26:10I thought all men worshipped DeRoy Jones.
00:26:13Joey wants a piece, too, right?
00:26:15I don't think I'd buy it.
00:26:17Marcy, what's the rule on buying for a specific person?
00:26:19I don't think that's come up, Scott.
00:26:21You guys, I buy Billy presents all the time.
00:26:24Why would I need to get him something in the exchange?
00:26:26Let's just move on.
00:26:28You just want your hands on my tight end.
00:26:30Okay, I'm up.
00:26:32Hmm.
00:26:34Hmm.
00:26:37Hmm.
00:26:39Weird.
00:26:44Yes.
00:26:45Uh-oh.
00:26:46No!
00:26:47Uh-oh.
00:26:48Yes.
00:26:52Let's go.
00:26:53Let's go.
00:26:54Come on.
00:26:55Try it on.
00:26:57Try it on.
00:26:58Try it on.
00:27:01Hmm.
00:27:02Ooh, it feels nice.
00:27:05Not that I would wear it over anything.
00:27:09I'll take it.
00:27:10You can't even drink rosé.
00:27:13Wait, what?
00:27:14Why can't she drink rosé?
00:27:16She's allergic.
00:27:17Yeah.
00:27:19No, she's not.
00:27:20Not to wine, of course, but to, um, to roses.
00:27:26I don't think there's roses in rosé.
00:27:28Agree to disagree.
00:27:29Whatever.
00:27:30Or maybe.
00:27:31I don't...
00:27:32I just want this soft robe all over my body.
00:27:34I want that body on my body.
00:27:36Moving on.
00:27:38Who's next?
00:27:39Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:27:40I get to go again after losing to the Joey Grail?
00:27:45You're almost good.
00:27:49Thanks.
00:27:50Okay.
00:27:51Let's see.
00:27:53You know, there's a really nice shoebox-shaped present right there.
00:27:58Yeah, I see that.
00:28:00Here you go.
00:28:15No, you have to open it fully.
00:28:17Fine.
00:28:23Is that cheese?
00:28:25An intimacy pillow!
00:28:27What is an intimacy pillow?
00:28:29It looks like a giant foam doorstop.
00:28:32How was this over $100?
00:28:34The packaging says that it was approved by more sex therapists than any other pillow.
00:28:39Just saying.
00:28:40Oh, okay.
00:28:41And you accused me of buying for my significant other.
00:28:43I mean, you did bring the nightie last year, remember?
00:28:51Thank you for keeping it classy.
00:28:53And festive.
00:28:54Try it on.
00:28:56Try it on.
00:28:58Try it on.
00:28:59Try it on.
00:29:08Time to call it a nightie.
00:29:09Shut up!
00:29:11I mean, yeah, everyone did end up wearing that gift.
00:29:15It was almost weird.
00:29:16Besides, a pillow is a much more universal gift than a helmet that belongs to whatever his name is.
00:29:23DeRoy Jones.
00:29:25This is not just a pillow.
00:29:27Try it out.
00:29:29Try it out.
00:29:30Yes!
00:29:31Try it out!
00:29:32Okay, sorry.
00:29:33No, I will not be trying this out.
00:29:35Boo.
00:29:36Shit.
00:29:37Oh, God.
00:29:38Okay, can we do a refill break?
00:29:40Yes.
00:29:42Five minute pee eggnog break.
00:29:44Didn't sound right.
00:29:50You having fun?
00:29:51Yeah.
00:29:52Yeah.
00:29:53You?
00:29:54Besides the concussion from the bull accident.
00:29:56Yeah.
00:29:57Right, yeah, that was funny.
00:29:59Yeah.
00:30:00See me laughing at me?
00:30:02I can be useful, you know?
00:30:04Wayne, come on.
00:30:05Sorry.
00:30:07Did you tell them?
00:30:09Tell them what?
00:30:10Come on.
00:30:12I mean, I'm going to mention something, but it's not a big deal.
00:30:15I mean, everybody's just waiting for Billy's proposal, so.
00:30:17Well, that's why I came.
00:30:20That explains it.
00:30:21Wayne, I'm kidding.
00:30:23Relax, okay?
00:30:28Your present is a hit.
00:30:29Yours too.
00:30:31Listen, Joey's pregnant.
00:30:34Are you okay?
00:30:36I had the exact same reaction.
00:30:39That's just not who I would have expected.
00:30:41Right?
00:30:42I always thought we would have been the first.
00:30:44Aw.
00:30:45Should we have been the first?
00:30:46I mean, we can't pass them, babe.
00:30:48That's not how it works.
00:30:49That's not what I meant.
00:30:50I mean, should we be talking about this?
00:30:52I can get a better job.
00:30:54John, can you stop apologizing about your job all the time?
00:30:57Sorry.
00:30:58Wayne made a comment earlier, and it...
00:31:00We're changing the subject anyway.
00:31:01Right.
00:31:02Is that a sign?
00:31:03Not for me.
00:31:04I mean, you can keep working.
00:31:05I can stay home.
00:31:07You're sweet.
00:31:08You know, I always wanted to be a man.
00:31:11I don't think it's called manning or nannying.
00:31:14When it's your kid, I think it's just called parenting.
00:31:16Agree to disagree.
00:31:24Okay, everybody.
00:31:25Five minutes is up.
00:31:26Let's get on with it.
00:31:28All right.
00:31:29Who's number five?
00:31:30I'm five.
00:31:35That did not last long.
00:31:37It's hard to last long with an intimacy pillow.
00:31:39Oh, my God.
00:31:40And in the least surprising steal of the night.
00:31:43Come on.
00:31:44No try it.
00:31:45Out chance.
00:31:46Come on.
00:31:47No.
00:31:48Back to you, PJ.
00:31:49And remember, there is a nice shoebox-shaped present
00:31:51still under the tree.
00:31:52Hmm.
00:31:53Yeah, I don't think I can handle going back to the tree again.
00:31:57So...
00:32:00Hmm.
00:32:01Yeah.
00:32:02Give it to me.
00:32:04Okay.
00:32:05Well...
00:32:06Thank you, milady.
00:32:08There are no take-backs, so...
00:32:11my choices are a helmet that belongs to some random football player.
00:32:16DeRoy Jones.
00:32:18A floating mechanical bull for pools or lakes that none of us have.
00:32:21Yeah.
00:32:22Or an intimacy pillow that my boyfriend is holding on to for dear life.
00:32:26Well, when you put it that way...
00:32:28I'm going to the tree.
00:32:29Yeah.
00:32:30Hmm.
00:32:31Let's see.
00:32:34All right.
00:32:38Oh, it's an envelope.
00:32:39Oh, is it another Soap on the Rope of the Month Club membership?
00:32:45Soap on a rope?
00:32:47I love you.
00:32:48Try it out.
00:32:49Try it out.
00:32:50Try it out.
00:32:51Try it out.
00:32:55Oh!
00:32:56How's it hanging?
00:33:00It doesn't look like soap.
00:33:02I think it's...
00:33:05a European vacation?
00:33:07I'm sorry?
00:33:08Oh!
00:33:09Gosh!
00:33:10Flights, hotels, winery tours?
00:33:12Oh, I'm in.
00:33:13For one.
00:33:14What?
00:33:16It's one vacation.
00:33:18For one person.
00:33:21Who would want to go on a nice vacation like that alone?
00:33:25I know.
00:33:28Sorry, guys.
00:33:29I just bought it on a whim a few weeks ago
00:33:31and I thought it could be a fun item, right?
00:33:33Everyone could use a vacation.
00:33:36Did you buy it for yourself?
00:33:38I mean, it's allowed.
00:33:39No, no.
00:33:40Really?
00:33:41I don't know.
00:33:42It was just one of those days, I guess.
00:33:44No.
00:33:45You knew none of us would want to go on a solo vacation,
00:33:47so you used it to get out of having to buy something.
00:33:50No, honestly, I...
00:33:51Yes, I bought it,
00:33:53but I'm not even sure that I want to use it,
00:33:55so I thought I might see if someone else might want it more.
00:33:57Why can't you just be honest about it?
00:34:00You bought a one-person trip because you were done with me,
00:34:02so why did you even come tonight?
00:34:04Wayne.
00:34:05These are my friends, too,
00:34:07and I'm not just done with you.
00:34:08I'm sorry.
00:34:09I just...
00:34:10I don't know.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12Hey, guys.
00:34:13Let's go check on the food in the kitchen.
00:34:14No.
00:34:15No, no, no.
00:34:16It's okay.
00:34:17Look, this is what tonight is all about.
00:34:19It's about being together, right?
00:34:20So this is my life now, I guess.
00:34:24The woman I love would rather travel to Europe,
00:34:27sleeping with French guys named Felipe
00:34:30than be with the person who wants to take care of her.
00:34:32That's fine.
00:34:33Wait, this comes with French guys?
00:34:35Sorry.
00:34:37Maybe I don't want to be taken care of.
00:34:39I don't know.
00:34:41I mean, is this it?
00:34:43I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
00:34:45I'm not as old as you guys are.
00:34:47Ouch.
00:34:48No, I...
00:34:49I'm sorry that came out wrong.
00:34:50I just...
00:34:51Maybe I just need to live a little, I guess.
00:34:55You want to live?
00:34:57Then get an inflatable bowl.
00:35:00Or get an intimacy pillow.
00:35:02Mm, this is mine.
00:35:04Beth, we've built something.
00:35:05And I appreciate that.
00:35:06I do, I do.
00:35:07But that something sometimes feels like everything, Wayne.
00:35:09And I am suffocating in that notion.
00:35:11What's wrong with that?
00:35:12But you're suffocating.
00:35:13Isn't that a little bit drastic?
00:35:15I mean, it's not like I'm, like,
00:35:16some crazy clingy boyfriend or something, right?
00:35:26Am I a clingy boyfriend?
00:35:28That was the word that you used.
00:35:30Guys.
00:35:31Am I a clingy boyfriend?
00:35:35Guys.
00:35:38Maybe a little.
00:35:40Really?
00:35:41Oh, you did call her twice a day on our snowboard weekend.
00:35:45I'm not saying this is clingy,
00:35:46but you have not left her side since she got here.
00:35:49That is the definition of clingy.
00:35:52Wow.
00:35:54I'm a clingy boyfriend.
00:35:56Listen, it's okay.
00:35:58You are who you are.
00:36:00There are worse things.
00:36:01And I don't even have the vacation anymore.
00:36:03I gave it away, and Joey is going.
00:36:05Yes, I am.
00:36:06Why don't we just get on with the game?
00:36:09Yeah, let's just go.
00:36:10Look, we can talk about this later, right?
00:36:12Yeah.
00:36:13Back to the game, guys.
00:36:17Okay, then.
00:36:18Only three gifts left.
00:36:21What a fun year this has been so far.
00:36:26Okay, I'm six, and I'm going to start fresh.
00:36:33Let's see.
00:36:52Oh, my God.
00:36:54Are you serious?
00:36:56This is amazing.
00:36:57What is it?
00:36:58It's a quilt made of T-shirts.
00:37:01Oh, I almost made a quilt last year.
00:37:04With duct tape.
00:37:10Oh, duct!
00:37:12Look, they're not just any T-shirts.
00:37:13They're all meaningful to our gang.
00:37:15Wait, okay, I remember when we got these
00:37:17not as T-shirts in the parking lot.
00:37:21And some classic parties represented on there, as well.
00:37:24Who made this?
00:37:26I did.
00:37:28Well, I didn't make it.
00:37:30I hired a seamstress, but I had the idea,
00:37:32and I gathered all the T-shirts.
00:37:34You know, in hindsight, I probably wouldn't have spent a year
00:37:36collecting fabric memories to create something
00:37:38that literally clings to you, but...
00:37:42That is very thoughtful, Lane.
00:37:44Thanks.
00:37:45Yeah, it was really fun to do,
00:37:47and it brought back some amazing memories, so...
00:37:49Wow.
00:37:50This is the spirit of our white elephant.
00:37:57Oh, my God.
00:37:59There it is.
00:38:00What?
00:38:01This black shirt.
00:38:02Let's get drunk this Christmas.
00:38:04Billy was wearing that on our first date.
00:38:06Wow, his obsession with Christmas goes way back.
00:38:10I've been looking for this forever.
00:38:11How did you get it?
00:38:13I must have left it at Wayne's all these years ago.
00:38:16Probably.
00:38:17No, I gave you that one, remember?
00:38:18You asked me if I had any old college T-shirts
00:38:20for Instagram, TVTs, or something,
00:38:22and I gave you four or five.
00:38:24Oh, yes.
00:38:25Very sneaky.
00:38:26Okay.
00:38:27Why would you have Billy's T-shirt?
00:38:29You guys barely knew each other in college.
00:38:31I used my T-shirts for rags, anyway.
00:38:33I took these from Marcy's closet.
00:38:35Your what?
00:38:36Those boxes on the top shelf.
00:38:38I didn't think you cared.
00:38:40Why would Marcy have Billy's shirt?
00:38:42I couldn't have had the only
00:38:44I couldn't have had the only
00:38:45let's get drunk shirt at ISU.
00:38:48I thought you made it.
00:38:51I must have given it to John for his rags, then.
00:38:54No.
00:38:56You're lying.
00:38:58You're covering up something, I can tell.
00:39:00PJ, don't be silly.
00:39:05Let's just get back to admiring Wayne's wonderful work here.
00:39:10Marcy, why did you have Billy's shirt?
00:39:14Marcy?
00:39:20I'm so sorry.
00:39:23What the hell?
00:39:25Can we, um, can we, can we pause the game?
00:39:28No.
00:39:29You can tell me now.
00:39:30Wayne and Bex didn't get a break from the game.
00:39:32PJ, it's not a big deal.
00:39:34I swear.
00:39:35Then you can tell me why you had Billy's shirt.
00:39:37Okay, let me explain.
00:39:38No, no, no.
00:39:39You've already lied to me once.
00:39:40Why would I believe anything you say?
00:39:41Maybe the six years we've spent together?
00:39:43Oh, and how many lies did you tell me over that span?
00:39:46PJ.
00:39:47PJ, please.
00:39:48Don't be mad at Billy, okay?
00:39:49This is my fault.
00:39:50What?
00:39:51What is your fault?
00:39:53We hooked up a few times in college.
00:39:59What, really?
00:40:04But he was wearing that shirt when we met, so...
00:40:08It must have been after.
00:40:11My best friend banged my boyfriend.
00:40:15Okay, we weren't serious yet.
00:40:17And I, I didn't even know you guys went out.
00:40:20Of course you didn't.
00:40:22Wow, I feel pretty stupid right about now.
00:40:28Babe, this is not something to be upset about.
00:40:31I love you.
00:40:32I'm with you.
00:40:34Marcy is our friend and that's it.
00:40:36We don't have feelings for each other.
00:40:39Do you know why I wanted that stupid shirt so bad?
00:40:43Because that night was magical.
00:40:46I knew immediately it was something special.
00:40:49We are magical.
00:40:51Not magical enough to stop having sex with my best friend.
00:40:54Alright, you know what?
00:40:56I'll be honest.
00:40:57I didn't know right away that you were the love of my life.
00:41:00I'm sorry.
00:41:01I was a normal college student.
00:41:03I hooked up with girls.
00:41:05I'm sorry, alright?
00:41:06But eventually, I figured out that you were the one.
00:41:10What happened between Marcy, it means nothing now.
00:41:12If it's nothing, then why keep it a secret?
00:41:14He wanted to tell you.
00:41:15I wouldn't let him.
00:41:18Wow.
00:41:20You've been like a sister to me.
00:41:22PJ, I am so sorry.
00:41:25I screwed up.
00:41:26But please don't be mad at Billy, okay?
00:41:28Marcy, what are you doing?
00:41:29This is not his fault. He loves you.
00:41:30I can go.
00:41:31No, you don't need to do that.
00:41:33Marcy, I'm the one that didn't want to tell you.
00:41:36Once Marcy found out that we had been out a few times,
00:41:38she put a stop to us immediately.
00:41:41I begged her not to tell you because I didn't want to hurt your amazing friendship.
00:41:46And yeah, I knew that it would look really, really bad for me.
00:41:52Marcy, why did you lie just now?
00:41:55I'm sorry.
00:41:56Stop saying that.
00:41:57I just want to save tonight.
00:41:59It's a dumb, white elephant exchange.
00:42:02And Beth already ruined it by dumping her clingy boyfriend through her gift.
00:42:05Okay, that's not what happened.
00:42:08Wait a minute.
00:42:10I am being so selfish right now.
00:42:13John, I haven't thought about you in all of this.
00:42:16Did you know your wife slept with one of your best friends?
00:42:21I did not.
00:42:22I am so sorry, babe.
00:42:24I'm really more upset Marcy kept the get-trunk shirt
00:42:27but made me use my intramural broomball jersey to polish her candlesticks.
00:42:31Stop, John.
00:42:32Stop hiding your feelings with jokes.
00:42:34Deep down you are angry.
00:42:36I know it.
00:42:37She's right.
00:42:38You do hide your feelings sometimes.
00:42:40It's not the best news.
00:42:42Just let it out, babe.
00:42:44But I hadn't even met Marcy yet.
00:42:47I can't be upset at who she was with before me
00:42:49and we decided a long time ago not to discuss past partners.
00:42:53Good idea.
00:42:55Thank you, John.
00:42:57And what about Billy?
00:42:59I didn't know you then either.
00:43:01It's hurtful you never said anything.
00:43:03I'm not going to lie.
00:43:05Yeah.
00:43:06Doesn't that feel better, John?
00:43:08Billy is a liar.
00:43:10And he needs to hear how much he hurt us.
00:43:12Okay.
00:43:13Point taken.
00:43:17Scott, what about you?
00:43:19You knew us all back then.
00:43:20Did you know about Billy and Marcy?
00:43:22I didn't.
00:43:24And I'm glad I didn't.
00:43:26And how about you, Wayne?
00:43:27You're the one who started this whole thing with your stupid quilt.
00:43:29Okay.
00:43:30Like, this is not Wayne's fault by any means.
00:43:33He was just trying to do something sweet.
00:43:35Joey, you've been awfully quiet.
00:43:36Did you know?
00:43:37I honestly don't remember.
00:43:39Right.
00:43:40Must be the pregnancy brain, I'm sure.
00:43:43PJ.
00:43:44Wait, what?
00:43:46Oh, that's right.
00:43:48You didn't know.
00:43:50God, the secrets this group keeps from each other.
00:43:55She's kidding, right?
00:43:58PJ, how could you do this?
00:44:01He deserves to know.
00:44:03Not like this!
00:44:05It's better for the truth to be out.
00:44:07PJ, I understand that you are upset with me,
00:44:09but you need to leave everybody else out of this.
00:44:10Yeah, a little late for that.
00:44:13Is this real?
00:44:16Is it a boy or a girl?
00:44:19I, um...
00:44:22We can find out in a few weeks.
00:44:28I mean, should we invite the whole crew?
00:44:31Feels like a group thing now.
00:44:33I can't believe you!
00:44:34No, I'm glad at least someone told me.
00:44:36I was going to!
00:44:37Only because he would have noticed eventually.
00:44:39Otherwise, you probably would have hidden it forever, like Marcine.
00:44:42God, I apologize.
00:44:43Can we move on?
00:44:44Yes.
00:44:45Can we get back to the fact that my girlfriend,
00:44:47who has been drinking the whole night, by the way,
00:44:49is pregnant!
00:44:50It's a virgin drink, Scott.
00:44:51You don't know anything about virginity!
00:44:53What the hell is that supposed to mean?
00:44:56Why is the guy holding onto an intimacy pillow for dear life
00:44:58seriously slut-shaming me?
00:45:06You're right.
00:45:08I'm sorry.
00:45:10It was a dumb thing for me to say.
00:45:11You know, I wasn't thinking straight
00:45:13because I just found out from someone else
00:45:14that my girlfriend is pregnant!
00:45:16You know, now that is a pretty big development.
00:45:19Why don't we take a break?
00:45:20Grab some peppermint bar?
00:45:22Yeah, I could use a drink.
00:45:24Scott, I will make you one too.
00:45:26No, you know what?
00:45:27Scott is right.
00:45:29There's nothing virginal about me.
00:45:31I'm sexual!
00:45:32A lot!
00:45:33Sometimes three times a day.
00:45:35Really?
00:45:36She is.
00:45:37And that's exactly why I was afraid to tell you.
00:45:39Why I'm afraid to be pregnant, period.
00:45:42What would you think?
00:45:43What would all of you think?
00:45:45When the girl who normally has a cocktail in one hand
00:45:47and her boobs popping out
00:45:49starts drinking pickle juice
00:45:50and rolling around like a bowling ball.
00:45:52I think your boobs would pop out more, actually.
00:45:55Yeah, they're gonna be huge.
00:45:58But never mind that look.
00:45:59Do you really think I'm so shallow
00:46:01that I won't love you pregnant?
00:46:02I don't know.
00:46:04And I'm scared to find out, I guess.
00:46:08Wow.
00:46:13BJ, not sure how I feel about the truth being better,
00:46:15but good try.
00:46:17I didn't start this.
00:46:19Okay, well then, just blame me.
00:46:21All right?
00:46:22I brought the quilt, so we can...
00:46:24Yeah.
00:46:25Just...
00:46:26Thanks for that.
00:46:27Maybe Joey can wrap it around her soon-to-be fat ass.
00:46:29Oh, nice!
00:46:33You know what I think is funny?
00:46:35Here's PJ, all high and mighty,
00:46:37destroying everybody else's relationships
00:46:39when really, you're a hypocrite!
00:46:41An hour ago, you were talking about
00:46:43how you had a crush on Wayne.
00:46:45What?
00:46:46Oh, my God.
00:46:47In college.
00:46:48Before Billy.
00:46:49Not a minute after.
00:46:50And it was just a crush.
00:46:51I wasn't leaving intimate clothing at his house.
00:46:54It was a Let's Get Drunk t-shirt!
00:46:57That's weird.
00:46:58I don't think you ever mentioned
00:46:59having a crush on my boyfriend.
00:47:00Oh, you stay out of this.
00:47:01You didn't even go to college with us.
00:47:03You're only here because of him,
00:47:04and that's probably over anyway.
00:47:06Or are you suddenly interested in him again
00:47:08now that you know I once was?
00:47:10Don't flatter yourself.
00:47:11You know you never mentioned it to me either.
00:47:13Oh, just stop.
00:47:14You can't compare a little crush
00:47:16to sleeping with someone!
00:47:17Well, how do I know you never slept with Wayne?
00:47:19Whoa, no, that definitely never happened.
00:47:22I promise, that never happened.
00:47:24Why do you care what she thinks anyway, Wayne?
00:47:26She'd probably prefer if we did sleep together.
00:47:28Oh, wow, you are going so far.
00:47:31You know what, no,
00:47:32not that I owe any kind of explanation,
00:47:35but I didn't come here to break up with Wayne.
00:47:38I came here because this night means so much to him,
00:47:41his best friends who have managed to stay so close.
00:47:45Well, so much for that now, right?
00:47:48You know what?
00:47:49You guys don't even deserve Wayne.
00:47:51Think about the love that he tried to show
00:47:53by making that quilt,
00:47:55and you are all ruining it with your petty jealousy.
00:47:57Okay, can we both just please stop, all right?
00:48:00Fine, fine.
00:48:01Let's just...
00:48:02Done.
00:48:04No, Beth is right.
00:48:07This is a beautiful gift,
00:48:09and it's mine,
00:48:12and I will get out my sewing kit
00:48:14and whatever's left in that box of shirts in my closet,
00:48:16and I will personally replace the elephant T-shirt
00:48:19and return it to you, PJ.
00:48:20I don't want that shirt now.
00:48:22Then what do you want me to do?
00:48:24How can we fix this?
00:48:26This might not be fixable, Mother Bear.
00:48:29I want that quilt, as is.
00:48:33In fact, you know what?
00:48:34I'm gonna frame it.
00:48:35I'm gonna frame it.
00:48:36I'm gonna put it on the wall
00:48:37so every day I can look at it
00:48:39and be reminded of the great, honest people
00:48:42I went to college with.
00:48:44Here, trade me.
00:48:46Take the robe.
00:48:47No, there's a rule against trading mid-turn.
00:48:54Here you go.
00:48:58And thank you, Wayne.
00:49:04Last call on Fog Nogs.
00:49:06Yes, please.
00:49:07Yep, great idea.
00:49:08Give me the quilt.
00:49:10No, you can't hide what you did.
00:49:13No, give me the quilt.
00:49:15Wait, does that mean I'm stuck with the helmet?
00:49:17Well, Billy certainly doesn't deserve it.
00:49:20Fine, take your blanket.
00:49:22I will use this with someone else.
00:49:29Take it.
00:49:30We're not gonna be having sex for a while anyways.
00:49:32That's not true.
00:49:34In fact, I'm going on a vacation.
00:49:37A daddy moon.
00:49:38Oh, enjoy that.
00:49:39I will.
00:49:40Leave your pregnant girlfriend home alone.
00:49:42She pregnant?
00:49:44She never told me.
00:49:47You and I both know I will get more use out of this
00:49:49than you can even imagine,
00:49:50and that's not my pregnancy brain speaking.
00:49:53Ouch.
00:49:55Come back to mommy.
00:49:57Are you sick?
00:50:04Wayne, do you really want that bowl?
00:50:08I mean, really, I just want to go home.
00:50:10And the way tonight's going,
00:50:11I'm definitely not opening anything new.
00:50:14Good.
00:50:15Let me help you.
00:50:17The beef is mine.
00:50:25Wow, that's a really nice quilt.
00:50:27I'm sure whoever made it
00:50:28never intended for it to ruin traditions
00:50:30and destroy relationships, so...
00:50:38Well, I think I'll just do you a favor
00:50:40and take this ugly thing off your hand.
00:50:42Everybody knows you can't handle your wine anyway.
00:50:45Not when it's mixed with eggnog, no.
00:50:47Oh, I'm sorry, you don't like my eggnog.
00:50:50Maybe Billy can make you something with his nog.
00:50:53Oh, I'm starting to like extremely, PJ.
00:50:57Okay.
00:50:59Sorry, Scott.
00:51:00Daddy moon is over.
00:51:02Marcy needs her own R&R.
00:51:04Yeah, enjoy it, you know.
00:51:06What happens in Europe stays in Europe,
00:51:07so it's perfect for you.
00:51:08Hey, what did she do to you?
00:51:10Nothing, I'm just, I'm just saying.
00:51:12Then don't.
00:51:15Ah.
00:51:17Hey, I have a kid on the way.
00:51:20Kids should have soft things around the house, right?
00:51:23Oh, thank you, Joey.
00:51:25It is my kid, right?
00:51:26Why does everybody keep asking you that?
00:51:28Don't answer!
00:51:30Yes, unfortunately, it is.
00:51:33Thank God.
00:51:35You know, it feels so right to steal from you
00:51:37since you stole from me the experience
00:51:39of telling my boyfriend that we're pregnant.
00:51:47Great, third time owning, done.
00:51:49No way, the trade with Marcy was against the rules.
00:51:51Very.
00:51:54You two and your damn rules.
00:51:56You have a lot more in common than your little college tryst.
00:51:59It's fine, I will win this back fair and square.
00:52:05Oh, second time.
00:52:09Me too.
00:52:11Okay, is anyone else completely lost?
00:52:13Yeah.
00:52:17We meet again.
00:52:23You know, I just like how valuable this has become.
00:52:28You know, you really didn't need to steal that.
00:52:30Billy probably would have just left it at your house.
00:52:32Silly me for not saying anything.
00:52:34I should have known how understanding you would be.
00:52:37Since this night is total bull, she's mine.
00:52:41Yep.
00:52:42Sorry.
00:52:44Second time.
00:52:45Careful, you might be cursed.
00:52:47Might.
00:52:48Jo, you're glowing in this, so I hate to take it from you,
00:52:52but you're not going to be drinking rosé all day for a while.
00:52:56Sadly, this is true.
00:53:06Wait, if I steal the luxury European vacation for one,
00:53:11very generous by the way, Beth,
00:53:14then you'll take the quilt for the third time, thus owning it,
00:53:18getting exactly what you want so your sadistic little mind
00:53:21can continue to hold a grudge over your best friend and fia...
00:53:25boyfriend.
00:53:26Or is it ex at this point?
00:53:30Whatever.
00:53:31Keep the vacation.
00:53:33Wayne, I love the quilt, and I think it's a beautiful gift.
00:53:36Yes.
00:53:37Thank you, Joey, and congratulations.
00:53:41Oh my God, wow, you are glowing.
00:53:48Bull.
00:53:49Third time.
00:53:50It's done.
00:53:51Can I just say something?
00:53:52PJ, I put the Let's Get Trunks shirt on the quilt
00:53:55because I remembered that Billy wore it on your first date.
00:53:58I actually tried to talk him out of it, but it was December,
00:54:02and you know Billy, so...
00:54:05I mean, like, I'm sorry that it brought us down this, like,
00:54:07dark path of deceit or whatever,
00:54:10but really it was to celebrate your relationship.
00:54:17Thank you, Wayne.
00:54:18That's really nice.
00:54:21Sadly, I don't think I will ever be able to look at that shirt
00:54:25or this relationship the same.
00:54:29Billy, I'm sorry, man.
00:54:34Honestly, I was thinking of you when I made the quilt.
00:54:37I know how much this exchange means to you,
00:54:40and I know how much we all mean to you,
00:54:43and I'm sorry that it went a different way.
00:54:47But I guess in a weird way, I mean,
00:54:49it's only right that you end up with it.
00:54:54Third time's a charm.
00:55:08Billy, stop.
00:55:18PJ, this is the present you were supposed to end up with tonight.
00:55:24Everyone was in on it.
00:55:26I thought, what better way to propose to the love of my life
00:55:30than at the White Elephant Exchange that I had?
00:55:34What better way to propose to the love of my life
00:55:36than at the White Elephant Exchange that we both cherish so much
00:55:40in front of all of our nearest and dearest friends?
00:55:46And that all just sounds a little stupid now.
00:55:53I screwed up.
00:55:57I should have told you about Marcy a long time ago,
00:56:00and now it's too late.
00:56:05Clearly this is not something you are ever going to forgive me for,
00:56:09and I understand that.
00:56:15So I'm just going to take this back,
00:56:17and you should take the vacation,
00:56:19and maybe some time away we'll heal some wounds.
00:56:30I forgive you for what it's worth.
00:56:36I think we should go, babe.
00:56:38Yeah, I think we should go.
00:56:40Thanks for hosting, Billy and PJ.
00:56:52Guys, wait.
00:56:54Look, I may not be a part of the original gang,
00:56:58but I think I've earned my stripes with this gift exchange, right?
00:57:02I've learned the rules.
00:57:04I have lost some dignity,
00:57:06but I think I deserve to get my gift too, right?
00:57:13She's right.
00:57:15We should honor the game.
00:57:18I mean, there is one last present.
00:57:24Screw that.
00:57:27I came with this.
00:57:30I'm going to leave with this.
00:57:31Beth, hey.
00:57:33I will buy you a vacation.
00:57:34I really don't think you should take that for granted.
00:57:39You know what, guys?
00:57:40Why don't we just leave the last present,
00:57:43and PJ can open it when she's ready.
00:57:48Why is everyone in such a hurry to go?
00:57:51There's still plenty of eggnog and snacks,
00:57:54and this white elephant is not over.
00:58:00I believe this is mine.
00:58:02PJ.
00:58:04Come on, it's your turn.
00:58:06Everybody's afraid of us.
00:58:08It's over.
00:58:09Billy, you love a good white elephant.
00:58:11Let's go.
00:58:12This isn't what I was thinking.
00:58:16We could stay.
00:58:19Yeah.
00:58:20Yeah.
00:58:23Okay.
00:58:25Starting over.
00:58:28Intimacy pillow.
00:58:29First time.
00:58:30Really?
00:58:32Okay.
00:58:34I see how it is.
00:58:37Scott.
00:58:39What?
00:58:40I mean,
00:58:41maybe too late to make an honest woman out of you,
00:58:43but this might come in handy someday.
00:58:44I mean, there's like five carrots in this beauty.
00:58:46Come on, stop.
00:58:47I thought you were mad at her.
00:58:48I thought you were mad at me.
00:58:49I am.
00:58:51But I'm more mad at her.
00:58:52And you should be.
00:58:53See?
00:58:55Both of you.
00:58:56What?
00:58:57I want that ring,
00:58:58and I am going to fight for it.
00:59:00But if there's another person who ends up with it,
00:59:03I hope it's Joey.
00:59:07What I did to you was incomprehensible.
00:59:11I was very hurt,
00:59:13and I reacted by hurting others,
00:59:17most of all you two.
00:59:20Joey, you always put everyone else before you,
00:59:23and you never ask for anything in return.
00:59:26Except the one time you trusted me with your secret,
00:59:29and I betrayed you.
00:59:33At least Marcy kept her secret with Billy
00:59:36and honored their friendship.
00:59:44You're welcome.
00:59:47Let's see.
00:59:54What are you doing?
01:00:11Kid needs a pillow.
01:00:13No, Billy.
01:00:15It's for me and Joey.
01:00:17She's my girl,
01:00:19even when she does get fat.
01:00:22Really?
01:00:24Seriously.
01:00:25I mean, PJ's so right.
01:00:28You're so selfless.
01:00:30Most women would tell their man immediately
01:00:32whenever they're pregnant
01:00:33and milk it for every second they can.
01:00:36But your thoughts were on what I would think,
01:00:39and maybe I do come off as only caring about all the parties
01:00:42and the amazing sex,
01:00:44and, I mean, I do love all those things,
01:00:48but I also love all the other things.
01:00:52You're so caring, and you're so nurturing,
01:00:55and you're going to make an amazing woman.
01:01:00I am?
01:01:06I love you.
01:01:10Aw.
01:01:14Let's go use this.
01:01:17Do we still want this?
01:01:18Here you go.
01:01:22I will take this back then.
01:01:25Thank you so much.
01:01:43Not a lot of options left.
01:01:45There is still one left to open.
01:01:47You know, everybody knows opening a present now is how you get stuck.
01:01:56Yeah.
01:02:01Okay.
01:02:04I'm going to take this back from you.
01:02:09Back?
01:02:11What are you doing?
01:02:12I got this.
01:02:18Congratulations.
01:02:19What?
01:02:20Enjoy your vacation.
01:02:22You own it.
01:02:23No, I don't.
01:02:24Now it's your third time.
01:02:26It's not.
01:02:27When I took the quilt from you, you took it from Marcy,
01:02:29and then a few minutes ago you took it from Beth.
01:02:33Damn.
01:02:34How do you remember everything?
01:02:36I'm a professional.
01:02:39And this is my third time.
01:02:42I'm sorry.
01:02:43I was just trying to help.
01:02:45It's not your fault.
01:02:47None of this is anyone's fault.
01:02:51Okay.
01:02:54Take the tight end.
01:02:55What?
01:02:56Please.
01:02:58Okay.
01:02:59No, Miss Hilly or PJ or DeRoy.
01:03:02Trade me.
01:03:04Yeah, okay.
01:03:06So wait, are we allowing trades now?
01:03:09I own that vacation.
01:03:10I can do anything I want with it.
01:03:12Yeah, but Beth's only had the helmet the one time.
01:03:14Marcy.
01:03:15Oh, come on.
01:03:16It's fine.
01:03:17Are we fine with it?
01:03:18Mm-hmm.
01:03:19Yay.
01:03:20Okay.
01:03:23Trade?
01:03:28I don't think so.
01:03:30Come on.
01:03:31Let's put a tight end to it.
01:03:35Good effort.
01:03:38Okay, I totally brought this autographed helmet for you.
01:03:42I knew it.
01:03:45You should be the one to have it.
01:03:47Consider it a peace offering.
01:03:49I'm so sorry about tonight.
01:03:52I may have overreacted slightly.
01:03:58I already apologized to Joey and Scott, but, uh...
01:04:03Marcy, I'm so sorry about all the hurtful things I said.
01:04:10Thank you for ending things with Billy when you found out about us.
01:04:15Because honestly, if he had to choose, I am not sure I would have won.
01:04:23You're the most impressive woman I know, and John is so lucky to have you.
01:04:33I forgive you.
01:04:35Come here.
01:04:44Wayne, I'm really sorry I blamed you and ruined your amazing quilt.
01:04:55So...
01:04:58How about that trade?
01:05:01What happens to the ring?
01:05:05I will hold on to it, and maybe one day we'll be ready.
01:05:16Sorry, PJ.
01:05:19That's not what I want.
01:05:25Okay, yeah.
01:05:28I understand.
01:05:35I don't want to give this away in a gift exchange or a trade.
01:05:43I want to do it the right way.
01:05:52Polly Jean Adams.
01:05:56I actually was in love with you from the moment I saw you.
01:05:59I denied it inside, and I was probably scared.
01:06:04I hooked up with somebody else to try to hide it, and it was a terrible choice of who that person was.
01:06:09No offense, Marcy.
01:06:10I'm taken.
01:06:12That is so beside the point.
01:06:15You are the woman of my wildest dreams.
01:06:19You have put up with my constant puns and embraced every one of my weird quirks,
01:06:24including this crazy white elephant tradition.
01:06:30You've embraced my friends.
01:06:32You've even embraced my beef jerky floral artwork.
01:06:39Tonight, I... well, we...
01:06:45saw a very different side of you, and it was nasty.
01:06:52But it came from a place of passion.
01:06:57Passion for us.
01:07:00And the way you chased this ring, even if you did screw up the game,
01:07:06it meant a lot.
01:07:10So,
01:07:14Polly Jean Adams,
01:07:18will you marry me?
01:07:20Yes.
01:07:22Woo!
01:07:24Yay!
01:07:27All right.
01:07:29Try it on!
01:07:30Try it on!
01:07:32Try it on!
01:07:33Try it on!
01:07:35Woo-hoo!
01:07:37Oh my gosh.
01:07:39Congratulations.
01:07:41Thanks.
01:07:44I believe this belongs to you.
01:07:48Oh, goodness.
01:07:50It's my favorite.
01:07:51Thank you so much.
01:07:53Look on the inside.
01:07:56What do you mean?
01:07:57Just look.
01:07:59What is this?
01:08:01Open it.
01:08:03No.
01:08:04Oh my god.
01:08:06Ah.
01:08:09Ah.
01:08:11And that's it.
01:08:14Okay.
01:08:16Oh my god.
01:08:18William Berg,
01:08:21I definitely knew I loved you from the moment we met.
01:08:26Maybe I've gotten a little possessive over the last six years,
01:08:30and perhaps a little clingy.
01:08:33No offense, Wayne.
01:08:34Oh my god, I don't care.
01:08:38But it's only because I can't imagine.
01:08:43Sorry.
01:08:47You guys do not have it easy.
01:08:50Okay.
01:08:53It's only because I can't imagine life without you.
01:09:00You're an elephant of a guy,
01:09:03and I love you a ton.
01:09:08You're really going to use the white elephant exchange to propose to me?
01:09:12Pretty original, right?
01:09:14No way.
01:09:16I mean, I was going to wait and see how the night turned out first, but.
01:09:20All right, who knew?
01:09:21Oh, no, no, you think I would trust any of these people?
01:09:26Seriously, though, congratulations.
01:09:28Congrats.
01:09:30Oh my god.
01:09:32I love you, Marcy.
01:09:33I love you.
01:09:34I love you too, Joey.
01:09:36I love you all.
01:09:38And I didn't spoil anything.
01:09:42Now that is worth celebrating.
01:09:45Congratulations, you guys.
01:09:47Congratulations to you, Joey.
01:09:50And Scott, I guess you had something to do with it.
01:09:54PJ, can we grab our drinks?
01:09:58Promise not to spill?
01:10:00Yes, yes, drinks, drinks, drinks.
01:10:03I got PJ's.
01:10:25Cheers to PJ and Billy and the weirdest damn proposal.
01:10:30We'll make that actually double proposal you will ever see.
01:10:33We love you guys so much.
01:10:35Love you guys.
01:10:36Yeah.
01:10:37Yeah.
01:10:38Yeah.
01:10:42Try it.
01:10:45Definitely.
01:10:46I'm just checking, I'm just checking.
01:10:48Wait, the game's not over.
01:10:52That's right, whose turn is it?
01:10:54Marcy?
01:10:55Okay, PJ traded the vacation for the tight end with Beth.
01:11:00Oh, actually, my secret is that this present actually has another part to it.
01:11:07That's not allowed, you can't have it.
01:11:09Marcy, come on.
01:11:11Thanks.
01:11:16Come with me.
01:11:19Are you seriously?
01:11:20Yeah, let's, let's get away with each other, you know, let's figure this out.
01:11:24I will give you more space, just anything, I promise.
01:11:27Okay, I know that that is who you are.
01:11:31Wow.
01:11:33Okay, then.
01:11:36I'm in.
01:11:38Can we bring the bowl?
01:11:39Yes.
01:11:43Did you, like, were you planning on giving this to me the entire time?
01:11:47I thought I would see how the night went.
01:11:50Wow, what a beautiful white elephant exchange after that.
01:11:53Yeah, and it's still not done, guys.
01:11:56There's still one last present left.
01:11:58Wait, who gets it?
01:12:00Oh, no, Beth took my tight end, so I guess it's me, but, you know, I don't have to take it,
01:12:04because there's still plenty of stuff.
01:12:06No, no, no, no, no.
01:12:08Take the present.
01:12:11Yeah, move it to the center, move it to the center, babe.
01:12:13All right.
01:12:14Need help?
01:12:15Nah, I think it's fine.
01:12:17Need help?
01:12:18Nah, I think I can do it.
01:12:27Toilet paper?
01:12:28Are you serious?
01:12:29Yeah, I've been hoarding it since March.
01:12:31Wow.
01:12:32It'll go with my white elephant toilet paper holder from two years ago.
01:12:39It's a white elephant toilet paper holder.
01:12:41I knew you could use it a crap load.
01:12:47Wait, is this what you've been storing in the office all year?
01:12:50Yes, it is.
01:12:51Yes, it is.
01:12:52Now there's room for a nursery.
01:12:54I'll help.
01:12:55No way, no way, no way, no way.
01:12:56I'm saving that space for next year's gift.
01:12:58Oh, God.
01:12:59I have a good idea, so trust me.
01:13:02Guys, let's take a selfie.
01:13:04Yeah.
01:13:05I'm going to point to my toilet paper.
01:13:07It's down here.
01:13:08Okay, everybody in?
01:13:09All right, everyone say, best white elephant ever!
01:13:12Best white elephant ever!
01:13:17Best white elephant ever!
01:13:23It only comes around once a year
01:13:26Friendly tradition and some extra cheer
01:13:30But a feeling takes you over and it's suddenly clear
01:13:34It's time for the white elephant blues
01:13:37Everybody's gifts are all wrapped up tight
01:13:41This one looks amazing but it's way too light
01:13:44My aunt would probably steal it and start a big fight
01:13:48Just a touch of white elephant blues
01:13:51You wanna train before you're singing bass
01:13:54Well, keep your hands off my snuggie, you can kiss my ass
01:13:58Oh, I'm never gonna learn
01:14:01Hey, when's it gonna be my turn
01:14:04When's it gonna be my turn
01:14:05That crazy albino pachyderm
01:14:08The white elephant blues