MEGALOPOLIS! Freedomain Movie Review

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GO SEE 'SPEAK NO EVIL' - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27534307/

In this episode, I provide a critical analysis of two contrasting films: "Megalopolis," directed by Francis Ford Coppola, which I describe as a disjointed and lengthy experience lacking coherence or depth, and "Speak No Evil," a compelling human drama. I reflect on my frustrations with "Megalopolis," noting its absurd narrative and characters whose motivations feel illogical, as well as the forced philosophical undertones that fail to resonate. In stark contrast, I praise "Speak No Evil" for its strong performances and engaging storytelling that adeptly explores human relationships and the repercussions of cowardice. Ultimately, I recommend audiences skip "Megalopolis" for its cinematic misfires, while endorsing "Speak No Evil" for its powerful emotional impact and thoughtful narrative. This discussion highlights the disparity between artistic ambition and execution in film.

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Transcript
00:00:00Well, good evening everybody, this is going to be a tale of two movies.
00:00:07One is called Megalopolis, and the other is called Speak No Evil.
00:00:15One is basically like a stoner telling you about his Art Deco fever dream, and the other
00:00:22is a pretty taut and tense human drama of the effects of cowardice and a lack of boundaries.
00:00:28So with regards to Megalopolis, I knew going into it that Megalopolis was going to be agony.
00:00:37If you've ever had someone spend two and a half hours telling you about the dream they
00:00:41had, backtracking, changing, not giving you any context, not telling you how anything
00:00:47hangs together, and then you never get a chance to analyze it because you'd rather chew an
00:00:51electrical cable or pee on the third rail of a subway car, rather than listen to any
00:00:55more of it, you've had the Megalopolis experience.
00:01:00And first of all, no shade on Adam Driver, although he did start off with the absolute
00:01:05humiliation ritual of playing the masturbating psycho in Lena Dunham's Girls series, and
00:01:11ever since then he basically growls and snaps his way.
00:01:16This sort of combination of Leonard Nimoy and Planet of the Apes look that he's got
00:01:21going on with, you know, you're a rich guy, you know, good lord, get a couple of moles
00:01:26dealt with, I don't want to look like an inverse Picture of the Nights guy.
00:01:32So it was just terrible, oh my god.
00:01:35All right, now there's some movies that are so bad they're good.
00:01:39I offer you Krull the Barbarian or Krull the Conqueror, I offer you up Conan the Second,
00:01:48whatever it was, Conan the Destroyer.
00:01:50Some movies that are so bad that they're good.
00:01:53This one was so bad that I'm not a huge fan of the death penalty, but everyone involved
00:01:58should ideally receive the death penalty.
00:02:02That would be the one exception that I would make, simply because they've robbed so many
00:02:06people of two and a half hours of their life.
00:02:12So here's the thing.
00:02:16So it's called a fable, right?
00:02:17So there's spoilers in all of this, so whatever, right?
00:02:20So it's called a fable.
00:02:24So what does that mean?
00:02:25Does that mean it's in a magical land?
00:02:26Well, magic has to have some rules, you can't just make up anything.
00:02:31If you look at Lord of the Rings, there are rules, right?
00:02:34You can't use the eagles to get to Mount Doom because of the Nazgul.
00:02:40If you look at something like Avatar, there are rules, right?
00:02:45Even in the Matrix, there are rules, right?
00:02:48So in this one, what are the rules?
00:02:51So you've got a guy who is a god.
00:02:56He's just a guy.
00:02:57He's like Howard Roark crossed with Cronus, right?
00:03:00So you've got this guy played by Adam Driver, his name is Caesar, and everyone's got those
00:03:05sort of forward bowl cuts with the little fringes, because, you know, it's a big allegory
00:03:09about how Rome is like America, and America is like Rome.
00:03:14And if Rome had never fallen, what would it be like, and so on.
00:03:16But the whole point is that Rome did fall, which is why it's analogous to America.
00:03:21So you're saying, well, you know, America's going to fall like Rome, so what I'm going
00:03:23to do is I'm going to pretend that Rome didn't fall, but that makes it completely unlike
00:03:28America.
00:03:29Completely.
00:03:30It's like saying, this guy died like this guy, so I'm going to make this guy immortal.
00:03:35It's like, but then he didn't die!
00:03:37So it's really annoying that well.
00:03:41Yeah, Morpheus, Lawrence Fishburne, my God, what a great actor, too.
00:03:44Lawrence Fishburne's a great actor, but he just, because, you know, there are no philosophical
00:03:52geniuses like Chauffeurs, am I right?
00:03:54You know, Chauffeurs, they're just obviously the absolute genius narrators of the planet.
00:04:00So you've got this guy named Caesar, who's a god.
00:04:06How do we know that?
00:04:07Because he can stop time.
00:04:09Now, he can't stop time when he's about to get shot, because that would actually be useful.
00:04:12He never stops time in any useful way.
00:04:14It's just kind of cool, man.
00:04:16Like, you know how, like, if you're a filmmaker, you can freeze frame, freeze frame, so you
00:04:23can just freeze frame?
00:04:24It's like that, man.
00:04:25He can just freeze time, man.
00:04:28So he's a god, because he can freeze time, and he has this thing called Megalon or whatever
00:04:34it's called.
00:04:35It's not even like unobtainium, which is like the worst name for it.
00:04:39So he's got this, he can stop time, and he can, he's created this magical substance that
00:04:46can do everything and anything.
00:04:48There's no logic to it at all.
00:04:49It can build buildings, it can make moving sidewalks, it can heal your face, it can make
00:04:53dresses that are half invisible.
00:04:54It's just weird, non-bound, ultimate imagination, stoner dude bullshit magic nonsense.
00:05:02Nothing makes any sense at all.
00:05:05Nothing makes any sense at all.
00:05:09And the quotes, oh God, I'm going to make a deal with all the filmmakers out there.
00:05:15I'm literally going to make, okay, I won't make any fucking movies, y'all don't do philosophy.
00:05:23Please God, don't do philosophy, it's embarrassing.
00:05:26So the only real depth comes in is when the characters are quoting other people, like
00:05:30Adam Driver comes in and does the whole Shakespeare monologue.
00:05:34You know, like you do when you're going to go and give a public speech about something
00:05:37really important.
00:05:38You just do, to be or not to be, the whole fucking speech, for no reason whatsoever.
00:05:41And then you kick a cat.
00:05:43So, or you quote Marcus Aurelius, or Cicero, and you think you're being deep because you're
00:05:49quoting other people in the past, because the stuff you come up with?
00:05:52Seriously, I don't know how these, how do these act?
00:05:55I guess that's why you get paid so much, is you can spew this trashy, fucking, fortune
00:06:03cookie word vomit like you're serious.
00:06:06Adam Driver?
00:06:07Oh, so Caesar opens the movie with a Hamlet soliloquy, and what was the point of it?
00:06:11Okay, so just so you know, right, there's the stories that I've read about the backdrop
00:06:15of the movie.
00:06:16So the reason that he opens the movie with a Hamlet soliloquy is because that was a warm-up
00:06:21exercise for the actor that the director just decided to keep in the movie.
00:06:26Like there's this whole scene where the main guy and the main girl are pretending to have
00:06:31an invisible rope-pulling contest, you know, like you do, an invisible rope-pulling contest.
00:06:37That was a theater exercise they did to get used to the absurdity of the script, and then
00:06:42the director just kept it in, because it was cool, man, it was cool.
00:06:46It's like, bro, you're not working with Marlon Brando and Charlie and Martin Sheen in his
00:06:50Deranged Prime, so you don't have the actors to pull that stuff off.
00:06:56So yeah, that's why that was in there, it was a warm-up exercise, it was a theater exercise,
00:07:00it was just to get used to the set, and what?
00:07:03So oh my god, it was just horrendous.
00:07:07So here's a... couple of quotes.
00:07:14One is, and I didn't get the whole quote, but it was something like, uh, only the most
00:07:18mad who don't like sunbeams in their nightmares, it's like, yeah, okay, that's really, really
00:07:23deep, man, that's really deep, man, stoner-deep, man, maybe it makes sense if you're stoned.
00:07:29And the other one, this one I do remember, is that Adam Driver looks at a corrupt politician
00:07:33and says, there are only two things that a man cannot look at for long, the sun and his
00:07:45own soul.
00:07:46Or when a woman, there's a woman who's love interest who gets pregnant, right, her father
00:07:56is holding the baby, father, you are holding the future.
00:08:00Has he, I mean, has Francis Ford Coppola ever actually talked to a human being?
00:08:06Has he ever actually talked to a human being, or Écoutez listened to at all how human beings
00:08:11talk?
00:08:12Okay, so, Megalopolis, it is an absolute, complete disaster.
00:08:23It is the second worst-reviewed film by audiences in Adam Driver's career, just 1% greater than
00:08:28White Noise, I never saw that.
00:08:30Oh, one of the big box office bombs in the history of cinema, now bombs is the wrong
00:08:36word because a bomb will wipe you out right away, but this one will steal your soul, not
00:08:40just for the two-and-a-half hours, but for the two-and-a-half hours it takes to get your
00:08:43soul back afterwards.
00:08:46$120 million budgeted film, $4 million from almost 2,000 theatres in its opening weekend,
00:08:53I think it's a couple of hundred thou for the international.
00:08:59Now, look, I understand, I'm not going to do, it's not argument ad populum, it's not
00:09:03like, well, it's not that popular, therefore it's bad.
00:09:07You know, when you're 84, or you're 83 when he made the movies, 85 now, whatever, like
00:09:12when you're that age, you should know what the hell you're doing, right?
00:09:16You should know what they're, what you're doing.
00:09:19So Megalopolis, this is a quote, is an explosion of ideas about societal structures and how
00:09:24they often fail humanity due to their lack of vision.
00:09:28Now, that's some actionable philosophy, you know, do you ever notice that societal structures
00:09:35often fail humanity due to their lack of vision?
00:09:38Bleh!
00:09:39Stop trying to do philosophy!
00:09:42My God!
00:09:46I also love how it's an alternate universe where Rome never fell, yet still there's Emerson,
00:09:52there's Chevrolet, there's Samsung, there's product placement all over the place, so it
00:09:57couldn't be more different than the current world because Rome never fell 2,000 or 1,500
00:10:01years after, but all of the same brands and writers and everyone still exists!
00:10:09Oh yeah!
00:10:12It's such a wildly different history that Rome never fell, but Samsung and Chevrolet
00:10:20still exist!
00:10:22Oh my God!
00:10:26Life is like an Oreo cookie and time is an illusion.
00:10:28Yeah, oh, it's just absolutely, yeah.
00:10:31We'll get into all of the backdrop here for the movie, but, so, what have we got here?
00:10:38Yeah, so there's a satellite, there's a Russian satellite that's going to crash to earth.
00:10:44So you see, it's such an alternative history, but Rome still exists, which is an entire
00:10:51rewrite of the history of literally half the fucking planet.
00:10:55Rome still exists, but the Russians still have four stars or five stars on their spaceships.
00:11:04So half the planet, all of European history is absolutely completely and totally different.
00:11:09There's no Dark Ages, no Middle Ages, no Renaissance, no Enlightenment, no First World War, everything's
00:11:14completely different, but the Soviet Union is still there!
00:11:19It's just incredible.
00:11:25Oh my gosh, okay.
00:11:27So the satellite crashes to earth and then really nothing happens other than you get
00:11:30some weird magic city.
00:11:33There is supposed to be this big riot because this guy wants to build this new futuristic
00:11:37city but he's going to destroy a bunch of people's homes.
00:11:39You know, should you preserve the past or should you be daring about the future?
00:11:43Who cares?
00:11:44It's not philosophy, it's just a bunch of nonsense.
00:11:52It's so surreal that, and this is how subtle, you know how you want to portray injustice
00:11:59in a movie?
00:12:00So there's two things.
00:12:01I was always told, show it, don't say it, right?
00:12:04If you've got something, don't have exposition, like actually, don't have people say, oh,
00:12:08this guy's totally selfish, just show the guy being selfish and then the audience can
00:12:11come to their own conclusions, right?
00:12:13That's sort of important, right?
00:12:18So when the filmmaker wants to show that an injustice is occurring, he has the statue
00:12:24of justice fall over, like literally lean up against, it comes to life, it animates.
00:12:30Why?
00:12:31No reason.
00:12:32Are we real?
00:12:33Are we not real?
00:12:34No idea.
00:12:35So an injustice is occurring and the way that you know that, because it's kind of mostly
00:12:39occurring off-camera, the way you know that an injustice is occurring is the statue of
00:12:44justice leans up against a building and falls apart.
00:12:47Ah, you see, very, very subtle.
00:12:50Very subtle, indeed.
00:12:52The scales of justice just slump over from exhaustion.
00:12:55Oh my gosh.
00:12:58And oh my God, can we, first of all, the fucking flashbulbs, oh, there's someone famous, let's
00:13:04throw six million flashbulbs in, because Lord knows that's how cameras work these days.
00:13:09So yeah, famous people, flashbulbs, flashbulbs, oh my gosh, look at that.
00:13:13You can make flashes on the screen.
00:13:15That's so dramatic.
00:13:16I remember that being old when Goodfellas was coming out.
00:13:20So that's just horrendous.
00:13:22Oh, here's another thing too.
00:13:25There's a party where there seems to be some degeneracy.
00:13:30Now, if you want to establish degeneracy, you can do it fairly quickly and fairly easily.
00:13:35Or alternatively, you can take 20 fucking minutes of spinning camera and Adam Driver
00:13:40having five hands for no particular Hindu blue god reason, and that's your decadence.
00:13:47So the woman, I can't even remember her name, the woman, I mean, the girl, or whatever,
00:13:55the woman.
00:13:56So she's, I don't know, this semi-lesbian looking coke off other women's tits and doing,
00:14:00being a party girl, right?
00:14:02And then she wants to go and talk to the Adam Driver, the Caesar guy, who's like this intense
00:14:07magical warlock wizard of unreality.
00:14:10And he's like, you got to go back to the club, go back to the club.
00:14:13So he doesn't take her seriously.
00:14:16Why?
00:14:17Because she's a complete coke tit looking club rat who doesn't read anything, doesn't
00:14:23know anything, and it cashes in on her looks and all of that.
00:14:28And so she wants to go and talk to him.
00:14:30And he's like, well, why would I talk to you?
00:14:32I mean, oh no, what's the line?
00:14:33Oh my God.
00:14:34Why would you think that one year of medical school would give you access to my Emersonian
00:14:38brain?
00:14:39I mean, holy word salad, Batman.
00:14:45I'm going to throw a bunch of Scrabble letters into an accordion, blow it up and see what
00:14:49sticks to the fridge.
00:14:50And then that's going to be my dialogue.
00:14:55So she's like, you won't take me seriously.
00:14:58How dare you not take me seriously?
00:15:00I don't.
00:15:01How dare you?
00:15:02I don't.
00:15:03How dare you?
00:15:04I don't.
00:15:05It's a fine dialogue.
00:15:08Just so you know, so this movie has been in development for so long that one of the original
00:15:15tape reads was done by Paul Newman, who had to play a young man.
00:15:21Let's see, Coppola reportedly shot 30 hours a second unit footage nearly 25 years ago.
00:15:27And so 40 years of tinkering and he spent, he sold one of his wineries in order to fund
00:15:34the $120 million budget.
00:15:35It was actually heading to $140 million, which he says would have bankrupted him and his
00:15:40family, but he ended up just saying, fuck the special effects, I'll just make everything
00:15:45look like shit.
00:15:46I'll just, you know, instead of a giant city in the backdrop that's supposed to be the
00:15:51entire point of the movie, since it is named after the giant city, I'll just basically
00:15:56have a bunch of tubes that look like they're a Velveeta rolled up cheese and shoot it through
00:15:59some cheesecloth.
00:16:00That's it.
00:16:03So that's how long this thing has been on the works.
00:16:11So Caesar, the guy, he's supposed to be, I don't know, some brilliant genius scientist,
00:16:16architect, man-god, like it doesn't make any sense at all.
00:16:21So at one point he's trying, he's stacking his workers in these weird human pyramids.
00:16:27Why?
00:16:28Again, I can only assume that it was some theater exercise that the director in his
00:16:33post-drug-addled state decided to keep in the movie for reasons that make no sense whatsoever
00:16:38at all.
00:16:40At all.
00:16:42Megalopolis did so badly this last weekend, although not badly enough because of the aforementioned
00:16:48need for the death penalty.
00:16:51There were really a number of artists who should have been put to death before their
00:16:54prime.
00:16:55Everyone involved in this and Hitler, and that's all I got.
00:16:58So Megalopolis ranked six behind Devourer Part One, a three-hour Telugu-language action
00:17:05epic playing at about half as many screens.
00:17:08Okay, so some, I don't like to usually do allegations, but I thought that the extended
00:17:17semi-nude, topless, hot girl party scenes were just so weird and creepy.
00:17:23Like for an, as an old man, you should be dealing with some deeper themes than tits
00:17:27and coke.
00:17:28You know, like just kind of gross, right?
00:17:31So there were allegations that Coppola would sexually harass female crew members, burn
00:17:40hours of shooting time just hanging out in his trailer and smoking weed instead of working,
00:17:44and he's denied these allegations, he sued Variety for its own investigation into his
00:17:47reported wrongdoing, and so on.
00:17:50So you know, true or not, I don't know.
00:17:53Now Francis Ford Coppola, I think, does have a cannabis company, so I assume that he's
00:17:58into cannabis.
00:17:59He says he quit after 2017 when he lost a bunch of weight, but oh my god.
00:18:05So at one point the man boobed John Voight, you know, he's old, who cares, right?
00:18:11But he's in a Robin Hood costume, another time there's an Elvis impersonator singing
00:18:18the National Anthem really badly.
00:18:20Why?
00:18:21Why?
00:18:22None of it makes any sense at all.
00:18:25And really I got pissed off at one point, like in all seriousness, I got pissed off
00:18:28at one point where there's a sweet scene between Caesar, the Adam Driver character,
00:18:35and a 12-year-old boy, a 12-year-old boy, and a sort of sweet scene about this, that,
00:18:41and the other, right?
00:18:42And then the 12-year-old boy pulls out a gun and shoots Adam Driver in the face.
00:18:49Fuck you Francis Ford Coppola for making me see a child murder someone.
00:18:53Like fuck you with a sequoia.
00:18:58Do not pull that shit on me.
00:18:59Do not have a sweet scene between a man and a child and then have a child be the hitman
00:19:05who murders him.
00:19:06Fuck you.
00:19:07That is really shitty to do as an artist.
00:19:12And then, so you think, oh my god, he's got shot, what are they going to do now?
00:19:17I mean, the movie's only, it's only 14 days and it's still half over, what are they going
00:19:21to do now?
00:19:22Are we going to have like weird make-up?
00:19:23Nope.
00:19:24No.
00:19:25It turns Adam Driver's face into a galaxy of stars and then his magic stuff, which makes
00:19:32moving sidewalks and invisible dresses, magically heals his face.
00:19:37Why?
00:19:38Why?
00:19:39Like what, what kind of asshole has his magical stuff that completely cures people of the
00:19:45most horrendous injuries known to man?
00:19:48Let's just follow the logic of the movie.
00:19:50You've invented this goopy, weird psycho paste that completely heals everyone of massive
00:19:56catastrophic injuries.
00:19:58It regrows eyes, cheekbones, face, brains, hair, you name it.
00:20:03It literally, somebody could have their arm cut off, it would regrow it.
00:20:06Somebody with a spinal injury, it would regrow it.
00:20:09Somebody who lost an eye, regrow it.
00:20:10Lost your hearing, regrow it.
00:20:11It literally regrows half of his head and he's like, you know what's really important?
00:20:16Is this thing be used for moving sidewalks.
00:20:17Yes, that's right.
00:20:19Because if there's one thing that Americans desperately need, it's less walking.
00:20:23Absolutely.
00:20:24Because you know, they're all so lean and quite enabled.
00:20:27So none of this makes any sense.
00:20:29You have this magical goop that heals every human ailment known to man and instead of
00:20:34using it to, I don't know, heal every medical problem known to man, he's like, what we need
00:20:39is moving sidewalks and invisible dresses.
00:20:42It's like, it's fucked.
00:20:44It's so insane beyond words.
00:20:49And then John Voight, oh gosh, now don't get me wrong.
00:20:52I don't mind a decent boner joke from time to time and Lord knows somebody put together
00:20:56all my boner jokes in some video.
00:20:59There's been quite a few, which I'm relatively proud of.
00:21:04So there's this, a completely shallow underwritten, I mean everybody's underwritten, but Francis
00:21:11Ford Coppola underwrites women to the point where they are two-dimensional inhabitants
00:21:15of flatland with big busts.
00:21:19And this woman, her name is, she's a social climber and she's kind of shallow and her
00:21:26name is Wow Platinum.
00:21:30So all the men get these classical names like Caesar, right?
00:21:33She gets Wow Platinum.
00:21:36Oh no.
00:21:39And she's got, she got jokes like she kneels in front of Adam Driver and she says, you're
00:21:43very anal, but I'm very oral.
00:21:45And it's like, oh, you're 85.
00:21:48Please stop it.
00:21:50Please do something on life and death.
00:21:52Don't do something on oral sex and anal sex.
00:21:55It's so gross.
00:21:56Anyway.
00:21:57So John Voight plays this, I don't know, elderly banker.
00:21:59I could barely keep track of it and barely cared.
00:22:01I was just struggling to stay awake and not, well, let's not go there.
00:22:10He gets angry.
00:22:11He wants to kill the people because they've taken over his bank, because you know how
00:22:14you take over a bank is you just get someone to sign something in a sauna.
00:22:17And next thing you know, you've just taken over a multi-hundred billion, like the biggest
00:22:20bank on the planet has taken over just because scroll, oh, it's all done.
00:22:26So John Voight is in bed and he's saying, look at this giant boner I have.
00:22:30And he's got this big boner, right?
00:22:32And I'm like, why, why, why, why?
00:22:35I mean, this is the fantasy of the fat wheezy guy in his eighties to have the diamond hot
00:22:39boners of his youth.
00:22:43And anyway, he pulls this, sorry, he pulls this so bad, he pulls the covers back and
00:22:49it's a little crossbow and he points, he points the crossbow at Wow Platinum, he points the
00:22:57crossbow and he says, I'm going to finish you off, honey.
00:23:00And she just stands there.
00:23:01Oh yeah.
00:23:02Right here.
00:23:03Shoot right here.
00:23:05Right in the chest, you know, right in my cleavage.
00:23:07So then he shoots her and then he shoots Sheila Booth twice in the butt and so on.
00:23:12So you know, you've got a guy pointing a crossbow at you, he's in bed, he's 3000 years old.
00:23:18Methuselah would be his grandson and you just stand there.
00:23:22Like nobody, I mean, somebody points a weapon at you, you jump, you dodge, like none of
00:23:27it makes any sense.
00:23:28None of it makes any sense at all.
00:23:31Oh my gosh.
00:23:34Let's see here.
00:23:35So Caesar uses this Megalon to defy the laws of physics, pause and manipulate time and
00:23:41see through dresses and it's, it's like even the force you have to learn to train and it's
00:23:46got limitations and so on.
00:23:48Here's another one.
00:23:49The trailer for Megalopolis was recalled because the critic quotes used in it were fabricated.
00:23:57They lied about it.
00:24:01Lionsgate, the studio handling the American distribution for the dystopian epic, told
00:24:04NBC News it pulled the trailer saying, we screwed up.
00:24:09So because the advance reviews for Megalopolis, which he spent, I think, eight months editing,
00:24:15apparently drunk and blindfolded in a combination of a washing machine and a blender.
00:24:22Because the advances were so bad, everybody was just like, this is the worst trash on
00:24:26the planet.
00:24:27It's an insult to trash, which at least at some point was actually useful.
00:24:32But they made up all these quotes saying, you know, well, but they didn't like his earlier
00:24:36movies either, but they turned out to be brilliant and so on.
00:24:38It's like, well, that wasn't the case with the really good stuff.
00:24:42So the trailer had including quotes from prominent film critics that sought to spotlight the
00:24:46divisiveness of the past Coppola classics.
00:24:49And the critics' lines were either misquoted or untrue.
00:24:55Now, Coppola has only directed two films in the last 15 years, so I guess this was
00:25:03some anticipation.
00:25:05He has a usual backstory of an artist.
00:25:07He had polio as a boy, so he was bedridden for long periods of his childhood.
00:25:10He did homemade puppet theater productions, which I guess gave him some sense of entrances
00:25:15and exits.
00:25:17He actually met Jim Morrison when he was in his UCLA film school.
00:25:27So he met Jim Morrison before he was the front man for The Doors, and then Coppola used Morrison's
00:25:35song The End and Apocalypse Now.
00:25:37He did softcore porn movies early in his career, I guess like the Italian stallion Rocky Balboa.
00:25:45So yeah, in 2018, Coppola launched Santa Company LLC and released a cannabis brand
00:25:50known as The Grower Series.
00:25:53Excellent.
00:25:55So he pushes addictive substances.
00:25:59He's a pusher, right?
00:26:00He pushes cannabis and alcohol.
00:26:06So fine, fine fellow.
00:26:08Quick question.
00:26:09Do you think he's on the left or on the right?
00:26:14Do you think that, is it worse than Napoleon?
00:26:17Yes, it is absolutely worse than Napoleon.
00:26:25It is absolutely worse than Napoleon.
00:26:27So he is, let's see here, during the 1980 US presidential election, Coppola filmed a
00:26:37mass televised rally for California governor and Democratic presidential candidate Jerry
00:26:41Brown.
00:26:42The rally failed in its goal to draw attention away from the other Democratic primary candidates,
00:26:45Jimmy Carter and Ted Kennedy, forcing Brown to drop out of the race.
00:26:49Over the years, Coppola has worked with several Democratic political candidates, including
00:26:52Mike Thompson and Nancy Pelosi for the US House of Representatives and Barbara Boxer
00:26:56and Alan Cranston for the US Senate.
00:27:00So excellent.
00:27:01Well, that's just the price you have to pay.
00:27:02To be big in Hollywood, you have to kneel before the leftist power gods of infinite
00:27:06corruption.
00:27:08So here's something else.
00:27:12So Coppola adopted an experimental style that permitted improvisation during the shoot by
00:27:17letting actors write scenes and himself make spontaneous changes to the script.
00:27:22These methods proved divisive, leading to the resignation of the art department and
00:27:25visual effects team, among others, and raising comparisons to Coppola's history of challenging
00:27:30productions, filming allegedly wrapped ahead of schedule.
00:27:33So he's had 50 fucking years to work on this story and he lets the actors improv it.
00:27:41What conceivable sense could that possibly make?
00:27:43I don't understand how this makes any sense, even in the drug addict, drug addled world
00:27:50of Francis Ford Coppola.
00:27:52How can it conceivably possibly make any sense?
00:27:55I've had this vision for nigh on 50 years.
00:27:58Now you're a 20 year old actor.
00:28:00Make shit up.
00:28:02Just make shit up.
00:28:03Like, where's your vision?
00:28:06Where's your vision?
00:28:08Incomprehensible, absolutely incomprehensible.
00:28:15So let's see here.
00:28:16So before filming began, they did a week of rehearsals with theater style exercises.
00:28:22Coppola said he could only rehearse with around a third of the cast, including Plaza and Emanuel,
00:28:26but notably not Adam Driver, and thus cast understudies in place of absent members.
00:28:33So Plaza described the workshop style approach as allowing actors to improvise and provide
00:28:37feedback to the script.
00:28:38Man, that's me putting a man in.
00:28:41We wrote scenes and we conducted ourselves like a theater troupe, me and John, Voight
00:28:45and Shear-Leboeuf.
00:28:46We were writing scenes and giving them to the script supervisor, and then she would
00:28:50give them to Francis and sometimes he would like it and put it in, but every day he wanted
00:28:53to play.
00:28:54He ran it like it was a theater camp.
00:28:55They were games all day and we were in character the whole time.
00:29:03But if you really want to know the quality in-depth, deep social narrative, so I think
00:29:12it's the Shear-Leboeuf character, his wow platinum comes in and she wants him to take
00:29:19over the bank or something and she needs him to do something.
00:29:22So she grabs his hair and jams it in her pubic region while making her call him Auntie
00:29:29Wow.
00:29:30And apparently this was one such scene that the actors composed was the part where Wow
00:29:35Platinum orders Leboeuf's character to orally pleasure her as he calls her Auntie Wow.
00:29:43So incest.
00:29:47Yeah, that's rough, man.
00:29:53And of course, but it's played as comedy.
00:29:55Now incest played as comedy is about as evil an artistic choice as you can possibly make.
00:30:01Incest played as comedy is fucking vomit inducing.
00:30:06I'm not overly sensitive this way, but I was like, my jaw dropped, I could feel the bile
00:30:10rising.
00:30:12Feel the bile rising from your empty heart.
00:30:19So that's, um, anyway, so she's got his face jammed in her genitals and there's sirens
00:30:33and she says, what's that?
00:30:34Referring to the sirens.
00:30:35And he's like, you're a vagina.
00:30:37And it's like, oh my God, I can't even, I can't even.
00:30:46So let's see here.
00:30:48They ran out of money due to budget constraints.
00:30:51The production pivoted to a less costly, more traditional green screen approach.
00:30:56So I don't know how you blow $120 million and don't have any money, well, for advertising
00:31:01marketing really, or for actual decent special effects.
00:31:06I mean, it literally is a sci-fi movie or a sci-fantasy or drug addled fever dream,
00:31:13but you got to have a look.
00:31:17So you know, there's a scene and no, nobody makes any sense.
00:31:21Not even a tiny bit.
00:31:22So Adam Driver is standing on these beams, like he's just standing there and they're
00:31:31not blowing, not swaying.
00:31:32He's just standing on these beams, like 6,000 feet above the ground or something like that.
00:31:36Top of a building, he's standing on these beams and this girl comes to talk to him and
00:31:40she just takes off her shoes, saunters along the beams and kisses him hanging off a beam.
00:31:44And it's like, why?
00:31:47Who would ever do that?
00:31:49What conceivable human being would ever do that, right?
00:31:52And don't give me the shit called, no, it's stylized.
00:31:55No, bullshit doesn't get reframed as stylized and rescued that way.
00:31:59Call it an allegory, no, it's shit.
00:32:03It's embarrassing, celluloid, freeze frame, narcissistic, megalomaniacal shit is what it is.
00:32:11Why would a human being who wants to talk to another human being walk out on a beam
00:32:16with no safety, like a swinging hanging beam, thousands of feet above the ground, risking
00:32:24absolute death, show no fear whatsoever and have no motive for doing so?
00:32:29Why?
00:32:30Why?
00:32:31Would anybody do that who wasn't suicidal?
00:32:34No.
00:32:35No, no, but it's stylized.
00:32:36No, it's not stylized.
00:32:38It's bullshit is what it is.
00:32:41And you can say, okay, well, there's no reality, there's no physics, there's no logic, there's
00:32:48no human motivations.
00:32:49It's like, okay, so why the fuck would I care about any of this?
00:32:53The people don't make any sense.
00:32:55The situation doesn't make any sense.
00:32:57There's no logic to the film whatsoever.
00:33:00There's no good guys, no bad guys, no morals, no character arc, nothing.
00:33:05Everyone at the end of the movie is pretty much the same as they were at the beginning.
00:33:14So Plaza spoke positively about Coppola's willingness to experiment and how sometimes,
00:33:18all of a sudden, he would have another idea, and then all of a sudden, we're shooting in
00:33:21a different location we didn't even plan to shoot, and then the whole day goes by and
00:33:24you're like, I had no idea that any of that was going to happen.
00:33:28Others described that approach as exasperating and old school, as Coppola was hesitant to
00:33:31decide how the film would look and would spend days completing shots practically instead
00:33:36of relying on digital techniques.
00:33:38One crew member recalled, and I quote, and that's all hearsay, right, but it's interesting.
00:33:42One crew member recalled, quote, he would often show up in the mornings before these
00:33:45big sequences, and because no plan had been put in place, and because he wouldn't allow
00:33:49his collaborators to put a plan in place, he would often just sit in his trailer for
00:33:52hours on end, he wouldn't talk to anybody, was often smoking marijuana, and then he'd
00:33:55come out and whip up something that didn't make any sense and that didn't follow anything
00:33:59anybody had spoken about or anything that was on the page, and we'd all just go along
00:34:02with it trying to make the best out of it.
00:34:04On Driver's first day on set, Coppola allegedly took six hours to achieve an effect by projecting
00:34:09an image on the side of Driver's head.
00:34:11Coppola denied smoking marijuana on set, adding he'd been avoiding the substance ever since
00:34:15his weight loss in 2017.
00:34:19He laid off one of five art directors, leading the entire team to resign.
00:34:24Oh, my gosh, all right, so I already talked about this, all right, I already talked about
00:34:37this, I already talked about this, and negative reviews, the blurbs were fabricated, we talked
00:34:43about that, yeah, I think the audience has given it a D plus on an A plus to F scale.
00:34:57Filmmaking for Coppola is an extension of his family, his sister Talia Shire, his nephew
00:35:00Jason Schwartzman, and his granddaughter Romy Morris have supporting roles in his new film.
00:35:05And I don't know, I think, I don't know if the mayor, the father of love interest, I
00:35:12don't know if the mayor was black and his wife was Indian, in which case there's sort
00:35:14of a Kamala vibe to it, or whatever it is, right?
00:35:21It's absolutely, completely and totally appalling.
00:35:30Absolutely completely and totally appalling.
00:35:34This is art by committee.
00:35:36The actors have got their input, it's changing day by day, how the fuck do you plan something
00:35:40for almost half a century and then make it up on the spot?
00:35:45And let the actors just do their thing.
00:35:49The mayor is the same actor who played the big bad in Breaking Bad, I've never seen.
00:35:54I watched, I think, one Breaking Bad and I was like, well, this just makes me want to
00:35:57throw up.
00:36:00Yeah, how do you do any of this?
00:36:05How do you plan for something for 50 years and then make it up on the spot?
00:36:10Well, how could you expect me to know?
00:36:13I only had 50 years to plan for it.
00:36:17It's wild to me.
00:36:20Here's the other thing too, right?
00:36:21Here's the other thing too.
00:36:22Now, when you hear, when you hear, her tips, of course, are very much welcome if you find
00:36:28this engaging and entertaining and enjoyable and it's the best I could get out of this
00:36:33brutal, brutal movie.
00:36:35I felt violated at the end of it, like don't fucking waste my time.
00:36:39And it just had amateur hour written all over it, overindulged.
00:36:45Don't ever get so big that you can't take feedback or criticism.
00:36:48Don't ever get so big that everything you think you touch turns to gold.
00:36:51Because this is Francis Ford Coppola, Unconstrained by Mario Piuso's great story and script from
00:36:55The Godfather and, of course, Apocalypse Now was a retelling of Joseph Conrad, the Joseph
00:37:01Conrad story, and he had Brando, although Brando showed up horribly fat and hadn't even
00:37:06read the script but wanted a three and a half million dollar payout.
00:37:11But it is absolutely brutal and what's really sad to me is seeing the number of people bending
00:37:19over backwards trying to justify, the master!
00:37:22It's his magnum opus, it's the master!
00:37:25And it's the kind of thing where it's like, there's got to be something redeeming in it.
00:37:28Like I remember the last Ray Bradbury book that I read, I liked a lot of Ray Bradbury
00:37:31except for his constant race baiting, but I liked Ray Bradbury as a whole.
00:37:35He was a good writer, Cinnamon Winds of Mars and all of that, it was very cute.
00:37:38But his last book I'm like, oh great, new book!
00:37:42And I was reading through it and I'm like, please God, let me find something of redeeming
00:37:45value.
00:37:46But it's like watching Brando in the Island of Dr. Moreau, it's like, nope, nope.
00:37:51How do you call that a plan?
00:37:52Isn't that a contradiction?
00:37:53I have a plan, which is no plan!
00:37:56And he doesn't know, you know, it's just like, yeah man, here's my totally original idea,
00:38:02America's decadent like Rome was.
00:38:06And nobody could get, like I'll tell you this for a fact man, nobody can get a fucking film
00:38:10made that has anything to do with comparing America to Rome, because you can't talk about
00:38:14the demographics, the invasion, you can't talk about any of that stuff, right?
00:38:18You can't.
00:38:20You can't.
00:38:22So you can't make a film comparing America to Rome without talking about the real issues,
00:38:27which would cause you to get assassinated or something, I don't know.
00:38:33So I knew it was going to be bullshit, deepity stuff, right?
00:38:36Well, you know, this is just so deep, man.
00:38:38I'm going to quote some Cicero and then talk about a man cannot stare at the sun or into
00:38:43his own soul.
00:38:44I'm like, oh shut up, you overdramatic Italian hand-waving nonsense guy.
00:38:50What are you, getting the Oculus going with Italian hands?
00:38:56As a philosopher, it is cringeworthy beyond belief when filmmakers try to do philosophy.
00:39:04Philosophy isn't something you just dip into, man.
00:39:08It'd be like me saying, well I'm going to be an auteur genius filmmaker and win an Oscar
00:39:13my first time out.
00:39:14It's like, no you're not.
00:39:16Takes a lot of skill.
00:39:17Like have some fucking respect for the skill it takes to actually do philosophy.
00:39:23You know, you don't just say, you know, time is a paradox.
00:39:27We move into the future, but we think about the past.
00:39:32Oh man, so deep.
00:39:37It's like three things a man can't stare at, the sun, cleavage, and his own soul.
00:39:43Whoa, so deep.
00:39:45You know, it's kind of ironic when you think about it that people get old and then there
00:39:50are babies.
00:39:51Oh no, I can't, I can't, it's so deep.
00:39:58You know, some people get really old and then there are babies and babies represent the
00:40:03future.
00:40:04Whoa.
00:40:05Really?
00:40:06Wow.
00:40:07You mean we're mortal and we evolved because we get replaced by those who come after us?
00:40:15Whoa, man.
00:40:17That's so deep.
00:40:19Oh, shut up.
00:40:22You're a fucking fortune cookie masquerading as an old creep who wants to see a lot of
00:40:26topless girls in a pointless scene of debauchery.
00:40:30The debauchery is the movie.
00:40:32It's not Rome, it's not America, it's the movie.
00:40:38Old people, yeah, like they represent the past, you know?
00:40:42Like there are people who don't really want things to change and then there are some people
00:40:46who do want things to change and there's like this tension between the man and that's
00:40:50what the film's really, it's a tension between things staying the same and things changing.
00:40:55Whoa, man, that's so deep.
00:41:02You know, sometimes people who achieve a lot can be a little single-minded and selfish,
00:41:08you know, like Charlie Chaplin and Tucker, the guy who made all the cars played by Jeff
00:41:14Bridges who basically just threw shit around the set because he's, you know, sometimes
00:41:18people who make a lot of progress in life can be kind of a little selfish and don't
00:41:24really take other people's feelings into, oh, so deep, man.
00:41:29Even the fortune cookies are embarrassed by this.
00:41:33Yeah, the fortune cookies, at least they taste semi-sweet and they give you that weird crunch
00:41:40that sticks to your tongue and embeds your, and maybe Coppola is Italian for copper feel.
00:41:46Oh, it's so embarrassing.
00:41:48I think he shows up sometimes in the set, in the back, yeah, you know, it's wild, man.
00:41:56You know, decadence can be negative, you know, drugs can be negative, but drugs can also
00:42:06like help you be creative, man.
00:42:09I'm so fucking deep, I'm like the Mariana Trench.
00:42:15What can I tell you, man?
00:42:18Oh, my God, oh, and this is the first time a moving sidewalk has attempted to be a moving
00:42:30emotional piece, so he's got these glowing sidewalks with this magical bullshit made
00:42:35up material.
00:42:36He's got these moving sidewalks, man.
00:42:38This is the big city.
00:42:39The big city is moving sidewalks, that's it.
00:42:42You know, when you're in this city, you'll never be more than five minutes with a park
00:42:46that you don't have to walk to to get because you can stand on a moving sidewalk.
00:42:49What are you, are you trying to turn everyone into the humanoids at the end of WALL-E?
00:42:57You'll just be able to, okay, I get it, I get it, you're 85, you'd like a moving sidewalk,
00:43:01okay, fine.
00:43:03But the mayor, who won't reconcile himself to the fact that his daughter likes Caesar,
00:43:11he won't get on the moving sidewalk, man.
00:43:13He's like, no.
00:43:15His wife steps on the moving sidewalk and she's carried along by swirly shit, man.
00:43:21Swirly shit is so cool, slidewalks, yeah, so she's just moving along and he won't get
00:43:26on the moving sidewalk.
00:43:28But then later, when he begins to actually accept, after his daughter has a kid with
00:43:35Adam Driver, which I assume is 80% nose and mole, when his daughter has a kid with Adam
00:43:40Driver, he then finally gets on the moving sidewalk.
00:43:45Oh, it's so moving.
00:43:47He went from not liking the moving sidewalk to liking the moving sidewalk.
00:43:54Now that's what I call a character arc.
00:43:59You know, it would be like me saying, as a movie maker, you know, this guy's kind of
00:44:04ambivalent about the relationship.
00:44:07When he gets, you know, home from a flight, he lands, and he's kind of ambivalent about
00:44:12the relationship, so he walks.
00:44:16Walks through the terminal, it takes a little longer because he's kind of ambivalent about
00:44:20the relationship.
00:44:21But you know, at the end, at the end, he's so much in love with the woman that he stands
00:44:27on the moving sidewalk and gets to her slightly faster.
00:44:33It's Romeo and Juliet, man.
00:44:34It's poetic.
00:44:35It's beautiful.
00:44:36It's self-sacrificial.
00:44:40It's beyond beautiful.
00:44:43Oh, the moving sidewalk thing, I'm dying inside.
00:44:48I'm dying inside because you could make my entire novel the future.
00:44:54Sorry, well, you could make the future, you could make the present, you could make the
00:44:59future and the present for the price of this, or you could, because my novel Almost, which
00:45:05is a fantastic novel, but would be very expensive to make, you could make it all for this absolute
00:45:14pile of neon art deco brain vomit.
00:45:19Yeah, it's like, it's deep, man.
00:45:22What's the message of the movie?
00:45:25You know, sometimes change is resisted by people with a vested interest in the status
00:45:31quo.
00:45:32Wow, man, you've reached 85 and you're like, there's a tension between progress and the
00:45:38way things are, man.
00:45:42Wow, that's so deep.
00:45:45Oh my, why didn't you just make a movie about dinosaurs and mammals?
00:45:52Oh, Almost?
00:45:53So, Almost will eventually get made, but only when AI is so good that it'll bring the novel
00:45:56to life without any particular additional cost.
00:45:59But yeah, it would be a fantastic miniseries on TV, but the budget would probably be between
00:46:05150 and 200 mil.
00:46:08So it is, it is absolutely tragic.
00:46:14Thou shouldst not have been old before thou wert wise.
00:46:18And also, also, can I just tell you, this is so common, it's just pathetic.
00:46:25It's so common.
00:46:26You ever noticed how the stand-in for the writer slash director always has all the hot
00:46:36girls swooning over him?
00:46:38You ever see that?
00:46:42Well, he looks like Adam Driver.
00:46:45He's got Adam Driver's charisma and scorn and haughtiness.
00:46:49He's an unpleasant drug addict, possibly murdered his ex-wife kind of guy.
00:46:55But because he's the stand-in for the director and he's the character that the director most
00:46:59identifies with, all the hot chicks love him, man.
00:47:04All the hot chicks love him.
00:47:06And it's like, okay, I know you're Italian, but oh my God, you've got to be fucking kidding
00:47:11me about this.
00:47:12Isn't it amazing?
00:47:15The same guy, the same guy that the director identifies with is the guy, is the guy who
00:47:25all the hot girls really like, man.
00:47:28I feel like me writing, maybe I'm wrong.
00:47:30It's like me writing a movie about a controversial, philosophical podcaster and all the women
00:47:39just throw themselves at him because he's so cool, man.
00:47:42He's magic, he's sexy.
00:47:44All of the hot girls, it's like, oh, that's bleh.
00:47:47What are you, casting yourself in a porn movie and calling it a documentary?
00:47:50It's like, oh my God, it's so sad.
00:47:54In your life, especially, you're 85 years old.
00:47:59The only people who'd be swooning over you are people you can leave money to.
00:48:02I got to imagine that his kids are also looking at it like, well, that could have been my
00:48:06inheritance.
00:48:07Instead, it's watching celluloid commit seppuku on a neon floor.
00:48:17Instead of me getting $120 million, you paid Adam Driver to whisper scream and have five
00:48:23arms.
00:48:24Oh, no.
00:48:25It's so awful.
00:48:32It's so absolutely, completely and totally appalling.
00:48:35Here's the other thing, too.
00:48:36You know it's a good movie.
00:48:37I remember this from ... I remember this, well, two.
00:48:44There's the Beverly Hills Cop with Bronson Pinchot playing that very funny, oddly accented
00:48:48art dealer.
00:48:49No, he's scratchy, scratchy.
00:48:53You know he's got something going on before the movie scene, something going after, right?
00:48:57A documentary is interesting because you see people come in, they're coming from somewhere.
00:49:01I was always taught this as an actor.
00:49:03Be coming from somewhere, be going to somewhere, right?
00:49:07If you're coming into a scene, was it just raining?
00:49:09Are you shaking off your jacket?
00:49:10Were you frustrated?
00:49:11Did it take you too long to get ... Have something going on before so you don't just walk in
00:49:14neutral, right?
00:49:17Myself, I call it the staring in the dark phenomenon.
00:49:22You want to go and talk to a character and he's just sitting there, staring in the dark,
00:49:28doing nothing.
00:49:29Well, how many times do you come home normally and people are just doing nothing, just staring
00:49:32in the dark?
00:49:33It's like, no, you come home and my wife is cooking something or my daughter's chatting
00:49:38with friends or like they're doing something.
00:49:40People are doing stuff.
00:49:41You come and you say, oh, they're doing stuff.
00:49:44No, he is just sitting in the corner, staring in the dark, waiting for the scene.
00:49:50That's shitty filmmaking, man.
00:49:52That's shitty writing, shitty acting, shitty all around.
00:49:55People are coming from somewhere and they're going somewhere.
00:49:57One of the exercises I do for myself when I'm writing fiction is say, okay, where are
00:50:00they coming from?
00:50:01Where are they going to?
00:50:02What happened before?
00:50:03What's happening after?
00:50:04Oh, Steph to star in a biopic of Fabio.
00:50:09That's right, Fabio.
00:50:11Might need to get some CGI man boobs.
00:50:16The mayor comes over to talk to, I don't know, something about like, did he steal the
00:50:21body of the, oh, and there's another thing too.
00:50:25There's a scene where he goes to, um, Cesar goes to, he is kissing the body of his dead
00:50:32wife and then the girl is looking at him and he is, it's an empty room and he's just kissing
00:50:39a pillow.
00:50:43So bad, so bad.
00:50:49So you know, I mean, so there's a father with a daughter, right?
00:50:52Obviously this daughter is older than my daughter, but I can imagine if my daughter in some years
00:50:55comes home and she says, dad, you know, I really liked this guy.
00:50:59Um, I really liked this guy, but I found him in an empty room, kissing a pillow, murmuring
00:51:06his wife's name.
00:51:08There was nobody else around and he was just kissing a pillow and murmuring his wife's
00:51:12name and crying.
00:51:17The guy's psychotic.
00:51:18He's insane.
00:51:19He thinks he's kissing his dead wife, A, weird to begin with because she's been dead quite
00:51:24a while.
00:51:25So you got ghoul enabled ex-wife.
00:51:28So he thinks he's kissing his ex-wife.
00:51:33Funny story.
00:51:34It turns out he's not.
00:51:36He's having a psychotic vision of kissing his dead wife, which is halfway to necrophilia,
00:51:41although still ahead of auntie wow vagina plunge.
00:51:46So I'd be like, no, this guy's like, he's, he's insane.
00:51:50Like he's mentally, he's mentally disturbed.
00:51:52Like he's psychotic.
00:51:53He's having visions of kissing his ex-wife weird enough and B, that's not even real.
00:51:57So he's half necrophiliac and psychotic.
00:52:00Get the fuck away from him and you know, lose his number.
00:52:04Bad pillow talk.
00:52:05Yeah.
00:52:06Yeah.
00:52:07The stranger.
00:52:08Yeah.
00:52:09Yeah.
00:52:10Yeah.
00:52:11Yeah.
00:52:12Yeah.
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01:01:21Okay.
01:01:22All right.
01:01:23Well, we'll see you tomorrow night.
01:01:24Peace out.
01:01:25Stay away from the movie.
01:01:26Bye.
01:01:27Bye.
01:01:28Bye.
01:01:29Bye.
01:01:30Bye.
01:01:31Bye.
01:01:32Bye.
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01:01:46Bye.
01:01:47Bye.