John Rich | Barstool Rundown
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00:00All right, it's the rundown for Wednesday, September 18th, Wednesday, September 18th.
00:12We're here in Ben Mintz's studio because they're changing our basketball court here in Chicago
00:18to surviving Barstool.
00:21Surviving Barstool, Kate, is where all the apparently talented and interesting people
00:26are going to compete for $250,000 here at Barstool.
00:29So that means none of us were invited.
00:32We were never asked.
00:33I don't want a chance at that money anyway.
00:36No, no, who wants that money or who wants to be Dave Portnoy?
00:39It's like a drop of water in the ocean for me, honestly, $250,000.
00:43I don't even get out of bed for that.
00:45What's the point?
00:46What's the fucking point?
00:48Football season is back.
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01:46So I was in a bar the other night, Kate, right, and I was just, I was posted up, you know,
01:50I was being cool like I am, you know.
01:52And a lady came up to me and she said, hey Brandon, can I ask you a question?
01:56And I said, I said, yeah, you can ask me a question.
01:59And she said, Brandon, does pussy taste like pumpkin pie?
02:02And I said, how are you going to ask me a question like that, bitch, I ain't never had
02:04no pumpkin pie.
02:05Kick ass!
02:06It's a new thing Brandon's trying out.
02:07I'm trying out, I'm trying out Bernie Mac's whole act.
02:13Yeah, do Bernie Mac bits.
02:18That's pretty much it.
02:19This entire premise is just like, what if Brandon Walker just said Bernie Mac lines?
02:24And really not even lines, it's like that specific joke.
02:30That one bit.
02:31I always do that joke.
02:33Diddy!
02:34I know you're well versed in this.
02:35I think he did.
02:36I do.
02:37I think he did.
02:38I think he did.
02:39Diddy!
02:40You're on fire right now, Tyson.
02:46Diddy has been denied bail.
02:47On Sunday night, Diddy was arrested in New York.
02:49Police confiscated a thousand bottles of oil and lube.
02:52He had freak parties, ETC, indicted on sex trafficking, racketeering, kidnapping charges.
02:58But he has been denied bail, so he's not getting out on this.
03:01Kate, your thoughts on Diddy?
03:03Not great.
03:04A little bit of a pervert.
03:07You've never been to a thousand lube bottle freak off?
03:11What's the most lube bottles?
03:15How many lube bottles can you have before the public sees this story and is like, goddamn
03:19that's a lot of lube.
03:20I think it's like ten.
03:21Kate, you show up, you're back dating, right?
03:26You're dating, you go into a guy's bathroom, he has twelve bottles of lube.
03:30I'll say Pat and I have had one bottle of lube for five years now and we're not through
03:36it.
03:37It's not even big.
03:38It's not even...
03:39We're not doing anal until our tenth anniversary, but keeping it special, but I'll say...
03:46Ten years is the anus anniversary, twenty-five years is silver, fifteen is gold, ten is butthole.
03:56So we're waiting for that, but we have one bottle and it's hard to get through one.
03:59It's like you celebrate, it's like when you finish a chapstick, it's like wow, I cannot
04:04imagine a thousand bottles of...
04:06It's a lot.
04:07A thousand bottles, that's a lot of lube.
04:08I'll say it, it's too much.
04:09It's too much lube.
04:10Simply too much lube.
04:12Even if you're running a big operation like Titty, a thousand bottles is showing off.
04:16I want to see a picture of the cops, like it's like drugs, with just a thousand bottles
04:20of lube in front of them, all the guns.
04:21You got one guy on a knee in front of the bus like this?
04:24Yeah, yeah.
04:25What do you do with all that?
04:26It's...
04:27I hate to waste it, but...
04:28I think it goes to charity.
04:29Yeah, charity lube, yeah.
04:30I think Titty's lube is going to all go to charity.
04:33But he's plead not guilty and if convicted he can face life in prison.
04:39Not a big deal, but Mark, you lived in L.A., did you not?
04:44I did, yeah.
04:46You were invited to multiple parties out there?
04:49I don't know if any of this is familiar to you at all.
04:54Yeah.
04:55This is tough.
04:56No.
04:57All right, good.
04:58Fair enough.
04:59Not guilty.
05:00What do I...
05:01Pass.
05:02Pass.
05:03Call my lawyer.
05:04The crazy...
05:05I went down a rabbit hole on this yesterday.
05:12These orgies would go on for so long, obviously a lot of bad, bad stuff, they would go on
05:17for so long that afterwards he would have an IV company come and hook everybody up to
05:21IVs because they'd be all so depleted.
05:23To get the fluids back in them?
05:25Yes.
05:26Which is crazy.
05:27And there's this really creepy video.
05:29People went digging to find Diddy IV videos because he would go live after these orgies,
05:35allegedly, and it's him and his mom.
05:37His mom.
05:38And he's like, doesn't she look so fine right now?
05:40They kiss on the lips and they're both getting IVs.
05:42It's so weird.
05:43Hindsight, I guess we should have seen that coming.
05:45A lot of weird stuff.
05:48I'm such a prude.
05:49I wouldn't even know what to do if I was invited to an orgy.
05:51I don't even...
05:52Yeah.
05:53Where do you...
05:54How do you get...
05:55Yeah, I don't understand.
05:56I don't understand that world.
05:58But like...
05:59You've been turned away at orgies before?
06:00A million times.
06:01And it's the social...
06:02I couldn't get past the first hole.
06:05And it's...
06:06Yeah.
06:07No, I don't know.
06:08It's like a golf tournament.
06:09Yeah, yeah.
06:10I had to withdraw on the first hole.
06:11Yeah, I'm running behind.
06:12Meet me on the fifth hole, Mark.
06:13I'm just over at the hot dog cart.
06:14I'm not even...
06:15We're gonna play through.
06:16Yeah.
06:17It's fine if we play through real quick.
06:18The balls keep getting lost in my rough.
06:19It's a mess.
06:20It's not great.
06:21This one, Titus.
06:22This one hits right down...
06:23Yeah.
06:24Right down your avenue there.
06:26Woj, announces he's retiring from ESPN,
06:27retiring from the scoop game
06:28to be the St. Bonaventure's men's basketball GM.
06:29I'm the number one Woj hater on planet Earth.
06:30This is a huge day for those of us
06:31that have been cheering for his downfall,
06:32but also very confusing,
06:33and I don't trust that he's actually done
06:34tweeting about the NBA.
06:35And I...
06:36Because when I heard the news that Woj retired,
06:37I thought, oh my gosh.
06:38I couldn't believe it.
06:39I thought, oh, it's still happening.
06:40I thought, oh, oh, it's still happening.
06:41I thought, oh, oh, it's still happening.
06:42I thought, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:43Oh, boy.
06:44those of us that have been cheering for his downfall,
06:46but also very confusing, and I don't trust
06:49that he's actually done tweeting about the NBA.
06:52And I don't, like, because when I heard the news
06:54that Woj retired, I thought, oh, that's cool, I like that.
06:57And then it was, Woj is now going to be heavily involved
07:00in college basketball in a role that I don't think
07:04really suits him, I'm confused by it.
07:06I'm just left confused.
07:06Yeah, he's in your world now, he's closer to you.
07:08Now he's even closer to me.
07:10Kate, I don't know if you saw Woj's announcement.
07:12Woj is a guy that breaks NBA, he breaks sports news.
07:16You know who it is, right?
07:16I know all about him.
07:17Okay, you know all about him, sorry.
07:18He started out as a small-town sports reporter,
07:21much like yourself.
07:23He did?
07:23But he went on to do basketball scoops,
07:24and some people went on to do Rocky Road scoops.
07:27Oh, yikes.
07:31What time did he get that one written down on the page?
07:34He dropped the biggest bombs Oklahoma City's ever seen.
07:38James, James Harden back to Houston,
07:41and Paul George to Los Angeles.
07:45Can I just, can I see your notepad?
07:47No.
07:49All right, I don't know if you saw his announcement,
07:53but his announcement was, he said,
07:56it was almost like with a heavy heart,
07:58I was born the son of a humble factory worker,
08:03and it was like this long, dramatic, stupid thing.
08:06He's getting out of reporting basketball news
08:09to be a basketball coach, basically.
08:10And he'll probably keep doing his thing.
08:12Yeah, he'll probably, yeah.
08:14You think he'll have a burner?
08:18No, he won't, no, because he wants the attention.
08:20That's right.
08:21Yeah, he'll want the attention, yeah.
08:22He'll just continue to tweet out stories.
08:24I looked at Barstool's history of blogs about Woj,
08:27not people, I guess we're not fans.
08:30Or are we?
08:31I like you, sir, if you're watching.
08:33I'm sure he watches.
08:34I don't.
08:35Seems like a nice guy, he's got nice glasses.
08:37I hate him because Titus hates him.
08:38I never had a feeling about him.
08:39He's a bad, yeah, whatever.
08:41He made up with Rico, they had a big beef.
08:44Of course, over Hurley leaving Wagner,
08:46everyone remembers that.
08:47Is this the most powerful notebook in this company?
08:50Well, I was wondering if she was
08:51going with the big beef part.
08:52Oh.
08:53Oh, well, he had a big beef with Rico
08:56at a ditty party, no less, heckin' terrible.
09:00Aspen allegedly banned Adam West
09:03from the city for 15 years for having too much sex.
09:07This is a big sex rundown today.
09:09Adam West, during his Batman days,
09:10was known in Hollywood circles to sleep
09:12with up to eight women per day.
09:15Zoinks.
09:17Wham!
09:19While filming in Aspen, Colorado,
09:21Adam West was allegedly having so much sex
09:23that the city banned him returning for 15 years.
09:25He was reportedly having sex between scenes
09:27on lunch break and it was not uncommon
09:29for women to be lined up outside Adam West's dressing room.
09:32One story says Adam West, Frank Gorshin,
09:35who played the Riddler, once attended an orgy together
09:38and were kicked out for pretending
09:39to be in character the entire time.
09:41Kate, you show up in an orgy and Batman's there
09:44in his Batman costume, thoughts?
09:46Yes.
09:48Yeah.
09:50Yeah, I'm all about it.
09:52I've actually watched several of those episodes.
09:55I kinda get it.
09:56Batman in the suit, in the old gray suit.
09:58He was always at the bar being real cool
10:00and then Robin.
10:03Fuckin' dude.
10:03Adam West is a guy that I pretended to know about
10:06for my entire life and I think here and now
10:08I wanna say I don't really know anything about him.
10:12All I know is he played Batman
10:14and he is the mayor on Family Guy.
10:17If Adam West walked into this room.
10:18Oh, he's still kicking?
10:19No, I don't know if he's still kicking or not
10:20but he's the mayor Adam West on Family Guy.
10:24Really?
10:25Right?
10:26I don't know, that's what I'm saying.
10:27Adam West could walk into this room dressed as Batman
10:29and ask to start an orgy.
10:30Well, not if he's dead.
10:30Is he dead?
10:31Is he dead?
10:322017.
10:332017 he died.
10:35Oh.
10:35Well, I'm talking about olden days Adam West.
10:38Kind of a hottie.
10:39I get it.
10:40All right.
10:41Someone has finally purchased.
10:43I'm going Adam South on that guy.
10:45This might be.
10:48Kate, if you don't want me to talk about this next one,
10:52let me know.
10:53But apparently we're in the Chicago area
10:56and somebody out there has finally purchased
10:58Michael Jordan's $15 million mansion.
11:02If you want me to be quiet now, I will.
11:05Thoughts?
11:06I'm gonna keep it exactly the same.
11:08Yeah?
11:09But maybe just add some water slides, pontoon boat,
11:12some other things, but yeah.
11:13No, I'm really happy with it.
11:14Where would the pontoon boat go?
11:15I don't think he has a lake.
11:16It's not on a lake.
11:17I don't think so.
11:18The basement.
11:19It's on a pontoon boat.
11:21Yeah, I'm just gonna have one in the yard,
11:22in the driveway.
11:23He's been trying to sell it for 12 years.
11:26In 2012 when the mansion went on the market,
11:28the initial asking price was $29 million.
11:31He reportedly found a buyer who purchased the mansion
11:33for $15 million.
11:3556,000 square foot estate, front gate with number 23,
11:38nine bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, a cigar room,
11:40a library, indoor gym, full-size basketball court,
11:42circular infinity pool, and tennis court.
11:44My thing about this is we're in Chicago.
11:47It's Michael Jordan.
11:50It took him 12 years to sell his house.
11:51I would think rich people around here
11:53would love to buy Michael Jordan's house.
11:54You would think so.
11:56My thought is, and I think we're all thinking it,
11:58could LeBron sell his house faster
12:01and for more money?
12:02You gotta think he can, right?
12:03I mean, the game has changed.
12:06It's a different game now.
12:07The market's changed.
12:08But LeBron's got skills that just other people don't have.
12:11I think he could get that thing sold in a heartbeat.
12:13That's how I see it, but reasonable minds disagree.
12:16Now, back then they were selling to plumbers.
12:21I understand this.
12:24Tell us a joke off your stupid notebook.
12:26That's all I had.
12:27I didn't get that far.
12:28No, it isn't.
12:29There's more like 50 billion things on that notebook.
12:31Don't worry about it.
12:32Okay.
12:33Did you see the trailer for the Australian office?
12:37No.
12:38There's a trailer for an Australian office.
12:41Is it on wheels or it's a?
12:42No, no, no, no.
12:43You remember the office TV show?
12:45Oh, yes.
12:46Australia has their own now.
12:48I'm almost, I don't know if you're gonna play it
12:50during this, I kinda just want to show it to y'all
12:52and let your reactions play out live in front of everybody.
12:55Okay.
12:56Yeah.
12:57Okay.
12:58All right.
13:00Is it just the office upside down?
13:02No, it's right side up, everything.
13:04Everything, it's the exact, it's the U.S. office
13:06shot for shot, except there's one shot of a toilet.
13:09For going the other way.
13:10For going the other way.
13:11That's it.
13:11There's just a koala in the background sometimes,
13:13there's no.
13:14Yeah, it's just, it's the office.
13:16It's in Australia.
13:17It looks like it's very, very similar to the,
13:19all right, here we go.
13:20So it's the office in Australia with ladies.
13:22Now, I know what you're thinking.
13:23Yeah.
13:24I know what you're thinking.
13:25None of these people are attractive, right?
13:27Yeah.
13:29None of them are funny.
13:30Yeah.
13:31What do you think?
13:32Women.
13:33Right?
13:34You motherfuckers ruin everything.
13:36Who's the, who is the boss in that?
13:40Like, are we ever going to meet the boss of the office?
13:43Mark, Mark.
13:45That's what I was confused about.
13:46Mark, it was.
13:47Like, who's the Michael Stocker?
13:48Mark, Mark, it was the woman, it was the woman.
13:51One of the women?
13:52Was a boss, yeah.
13:53That is, now that's funny.
13:59That's funny.
14:00Oh, fuck.
14:01Oh, that's a good show.
14:02What franchise would you say women have ruined the most?
14:04Was it, it's going to be the office,
14:06was it Ghostbusters, was it Ocean's 8,
14:08was it The Rundown?
14:10Like what, what have women ruined the most?
14:13Oh my God.
14:14Kate?
14:15They're doing the Saving Private Ryan with all women.
14:18That's going to be.
14:19Don't, Kate, don't do it.
14:21Okay.
14:22All right, do it.
14:23No, that's enough.
14:25The Rundown, has that been ruined by women yet?
14:28Today, is that?
14:30Basketball.
14:31Basketball?
14:34Mike Tyson says he can hardly walk,
14:36but still plans to fight Jake Paul.
14:39All right.
14:40Okay, yeah.
14:41All right, that's an appropriate reaction.
14:43Maybe they'll kill each other.
14:45Are we going to, I thought that was already supposed
14:46to happen.
14:47I don't know when, these Paul, Jake Paul fights.
14:49Which Paul is this?
14:50Jake Paul, okay.
14:51Jake, yeah, the one called Jake.
14:53These Paul fights will have either six months of buildup,
14:57or you'll wake up on Saturday,
14:58and Jake Paul's fighting tonight.
14:59And you never quite know what's happening.
15:02You never quite know.
15:03This has been rumored for like a year.
15:05I guess they are going to eventually fight.
15:07I, of course, want Mike Tyson to kill him.
15:10There's a clip of Evander Holyfield fighting recently,
15:13and it's bad.
15:14Oh, rude.
15:15They've got to be.
15:16Yeah.
15:17A little.
15:17It's not, there's not much there.
15:19Because apparently when you get older,
15:22your skills kind of decline.
15:24You're not as sharp as you once were.
15:26Your beard goes gray.
15:27Like things, things.
15:29Penis doesn't get hard.
15:30Penis doesn't get hard.
15:31Or you can't even.
15:32Wife's cheating on you.
15:33You don't know where it is.
15:34Wife's cheating on you.
15:35Everything's in decline.
15:37All your friends are dead.
15:42Would I watch Jake Paul beat up a man in a wheelchair?
15:46Yes, unfortunately.
15:47Would you watch a man in a wheelchair beat up Jake Paul?
15:50Yes.
15:50What about, here's an idea for the Paul brothers.
15:53Try to win a fight against somebody at every age,
15:55from zero to a hundred.
15:57Fuck.
15:58Oh, shit.
15:59Try to check them all off.
15:59I got to be honest,
16:00those first four or five aren't going to be that good.
16:03Zero to a hundred, just getting a.
16:04Once you get to like eight, though,
16:05I'm probably watching.
16:06Yeah.
16:07Sharp little nails.
16:08Yeah, you have to think that the one year old baby
16:11is just going to forfeit.
16:12Right.
16:13But it's still a win.
16:14You still have to hype up the fight.
16:15Hey, Titus, what are you watching?
16:17Jake Paul's fighting an eight year old.
16:18Yeah.
16:19Yeah, he's fighting a,
16:2217 is starting to get interesting, maybe.
16:24Yeah.
16:25I think between like 17 and 30,
16:26his record takes a hit.
16:27Yeah.
16:28And once he gets like over 35,
16:30he starts to pile up the wins again.
16:31But it's like the Mike Tyson video game
16:34where you can't go on to the next stage
16:35until you beat somebody at that age.
16:36You know what I mean?
16:37So like, yeah, I don't know.
16:39And if it lasts a while,
16:40then the kid you beat at nine,
16:42you might have to fight him when he's 21.
16:44Yeah, there you go.
16:45Yeah.
16:46Who knows?
16:46Unless that would be a long time.
16:47It comes back.
16:48Yeah.
16:49All right, you got anything else, Kate?
16:52I saw the Paul brothers are starting a Lunchables.
16:54They're redoing Lunchables.
16:55I saw that.
16:56So it's gonna have like a Prime Energy drink
16:57and a Mr. Beast meat,
16:59and like a Kai Sinat snack.
17:04Lunchly.
17:05Lunchly, yeah.
17:06No free ads.
17:07They had a picture of that with the Rizzler yesterday.
17:08Did they?
17:09Yeah.
17:10So they're redoing Lunchables.
17:11Lunchables still hit.
17:12They do, every now and then.
17:13Lunchables hit.
17:13I like a good Lunchable.
17:15Whenever I take my kids to the grocery store,
17:17or are you up to the age,
17:19are you taking kids to the grocery store,
17:20or do you use it as an escape?
17:22So I take my kids to the grocery store,
17:23and they always say,
17:24can I get a Lunchable?
17:24And I'm like, grab two.
17:26Oh, cool, Dad.
17:27Yeah.
17:28Go on, grab two.
17:29Cool, Dad.
17:29No, no, no, that's not cool, Dad.
17:30That's, I want to eat a Lunchable.
17:31Oh, you, okay.
17:32I'm not saying you get to have twice as much as you want.
17:34I'm saying I also need one.
17:36When you're out and there's a charcuterie board
17:38in front of you,
17:40do you treat it like a Lunchable, as I do?
17:42Like, it's impossible for me to eat one thing at a time.
17:44I always grab a piece of bread,
17:46a piece of meat on top of the bread,
17:47a piece of cheese on top of the meat,
17:48and then maybe I'll put a little jam or whatever.
17:50But it's always like, I build a Lunchable.
17:52Yeah, stack it.
17:53I always, I'm conditioned to have Lunchable brain.
17:55I always have an embarrassing lack of doing that.
17:58When I get a charcuterie board at a restaurant,
18:01and they bring you the meats and cheeses and the figs
18:04and the jellies and the jams and the peppers,
18:06they want you to try it all.
18:08Yeah, yeah.
18:09I just go crackers and meat.
18:10Yeah, exactly, yeah.
18:11Crackers, meat, cheese.
18:12And when they come back to get the tray,
18:12it's like all the vegetables in there are still there.
18:13I want your little, like, tiny-ass pickle
18:15you put off to the side.
18:15Like, fuck that, dude.
18:16Just give me the meat and the cheese and the bread.
18:19Bitch, I ain't never had no pumpkin pie.
18:20That's what I tell them.
18:21Bitch, I ain't never had no pumpkin pie.
18:22That's what I tell them.
18:23Kick ass!
18:27Great, great bit.
18:29That's a rundown.
18:30All right.
18:31Thanks.