Sal Vulcano joins GQ in ‘Actually Me,’ as he goes online to answer the internet’s questions. The American comedian and actor responds to questions on Quora, Reddit and X, as well as fact-checking Wikipedia and replying to TikTok and Instagram comments.
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00:00What's up GQ? I'm Sal Vulcano and today I'm going undercover on the internet.
00:06It's actually me.
00:11Quora
00:15What are some lesser-known facts about Sal Vulcano's biography?
00:19When I was in fourth grade, my sister hit me in the face with a Malibu Ken doll. I still have a scar right here.
00:23I got hit by a car when I was four years old. I sleep with six pillows.
00:26My most hated things are traffic sweat, the common cold, strong wind, bugs, cats, pointy objects, and general filth.
00:32I'm sorry, common cold on vacation will usurp traffic in that scenario. Next.
00:37Has a skit ever gone wrong on Impractical Jokers? Yeah, they go wrong.
00:41The cops have been called about four times over the last 12-13 years.
00:47Luckily, the police have always been fans, and so when they arrive,
00:51they say, we get it. Much to the person's that call them
00:55dismay, though. Posted.
00:58All right, let's check out Reddit.
01:02What do we all think is gonna happen to Sal when his daughter gets older and wants a pet cat?
01:06I don't like cats. They can't be trusted. They invade personal space. They have sharp claws. They're predatory and
01:13they shit in the house. I will let my daughter do whatever she wants and find her way,
01:18but I just hope that that road doesn't lead to felines.
01:22Which Joker do you think would have the best music taste? Am I allowed to say myself? I'll tell you who has some shit taste.
01:29Joe and Murr, they relegate themselves to Top 40 radio. I try to enlighten them.
01:35There's a whole nother world out there.
01:36There's some funk and some soul and some jazz and some old deep in the crates hip-hop and stuff, but
01:42you know, they just want that Dua Lipa.
01:45And God bless her, but I want more than Dua Lipa, and Dua Lipa, if you're listening, you understand that.
01:53Now that it's all over, can we finally settle a podcast's biggest debate? Girl Scouts and their cookies, yay or nay?
02:01Okay, this is a reference to my podcast being over, but it's just on a hiatus.
02:05I do two podcasts. One is called Taste Buds, where I debate food with my friend Joe DeRosa.
02:09It is just on a hiatus. Yay or nay for me, Girl Scout Cookies is a yay.
02:14I mean, how do you not want to support these young strong women? If you don't like Girl Scout Cookies,
02:21I think the FBI should do it, like run a check on you. Next.
02:26Has Sal ever admitted he was wrong about anything Taste Buds related?
02:30I'm getting real tough questions here regarding the Taste Buds podcast.
02:33There's a big controversy online about your take that peanut M&M's are a candy bar.
02:38I think the tide might have changed there in my opinion, but well, peanut M&M's, you find them
02:43with all the candy bars. They're chocolate, they're peanut, they're packaged just because they're little,
02:49what would you call M&M's? Discs, spheres, balls? What would you call it if you don't call it a candy bar?
02:55Please write to me by hand with a quill pen at P.O. Box, M&M's, peanut, candy bar, balls, or what?
03:05What are your thoughts on the rise in popularity of crowd work? It's really fun if it's done the
03:10right way. People nowadays are kind of just doing crowd work to get internet clips, which is great
03:16because that is helping a lot of people, but what it's doing is it's training the audience to think
03:20that we want you to scream out, you have a twin sister, or it's your birthday. We really don't.
03:26I would say if the comedian initiates it, fine. If they don't, just shut the fuck up. Post it.
03:33Quora. Let's move on to Quora. What does it feel like to bomb on stage as a stand-up comedian?
03:40A lot like this interview, actually. A lot like it. Just you throw stuff out there, it's dead silent.
03:46You feel like there's really no one else in the room, but the world is watching at the same time.
03:50A little piece of you dies inside. You wonder, is this shirt draped on me the wrong way? You start
03:56thinking, are my nipples showing? Because they are, because I left the house and they were showing,
03:59and every time I looked in the mirror today, they were showing, and they're probably showing now,
04:03and so you start, your mind starts wandering, but you know, as they say, it makes you a better comedian.
04:09How can I get better at stand-up comedy? Give up everything in your life. Prepare to live a life of poverty.
04:18Don't have high expectations. Just know it's a long road, and you really gotta love it. Unless
04:25you get a viral clip that hits, then you'll be right alongside me.
04:30Let's check X. Tweet, tweet. New South Volcano tour dropped. I wonder what his favorite cities to
04:37perform in are, but more importantly, his least favorite LOL. Pittsburgh's always great. Cleveland's
04:43always really wonderful. New York City. Least I don't really like to talk about. Casino crowds
04:49are a different bunch. There's a mixture in there of people that are in their 80s and 90s,
04:53people that have lost money, people that thought I was going to be the Spice Girls, so it's always
04:59interesting to perform at a casino. Who did your Jaden Smith tattoo? I'll get him to do a Savile
05:05Cano tattoo on my upper thigh when I'm in New York. I'm not going to disclose his name because
05:09I do not want you to have an upper thigh Savile Cano tattoo in New York or otherwise. Reply?
05:17Wikipedia. Volcano is a member of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels.
05:24True! I should learn what comes with it. I don't know if I'm supposed to get some tax breaks.
05:29You know, I don't know if I'm in a position of power in any way. I'll look into that and get
05:32back to you. I'm also a reverend. I married nine friends and family members. I am retired. Do not
05:38ask me to do it for you. Once word got out, I got asked to officiate a wedding once a day
05:43and I've renounced my faith. TikTok. What's that?
05:53Is that a pajama top? It definitely harkens to a pajama top. It's not. It was a decently priced
06:00shirt. Maybe you guys have heard of it. Prada. Sal's worst punishment. Can someone tell me why
06:08Sal is always punished? Okay, on the show Impractical Jokers, if you don't know it,
06:13then I don't know where you're from, but I think it plays everywhere all day and I think that was
06:17part of the deal we signed with the devil. Us and Mario Cantone. If you go to a hotel, that's all
06:22that's on the airwaves. The network took a poll of who they wanted to see punished the most and it
06:28was resoundingly me and the feedback was people like to see me suffer. I suffer in a funny way.
06:35Next. So crazy they're on season 11 now. How do they make it so funny still after all this time?
06:44Well, thank you funnyman6549. I got a team of people that work with us and it's very collaborative
06:50and they're like family. Every season before it starts, we lock ourselves in a room and we figure
06:55how can we make this season different? How many other dick jokes can we make? Things like that.
06:59Posted. Let's check out Instagram, shall we?
07:06For the life of me, I don't know how they film everything in the New York area and no one ever
07:10recognizes them. Okay, we get recognized all the time, but we just don't put that in the show.
07:15That's not what the show is. Think about if you tuned in for a half hour and I showed you
07:2030 people recognizing me one after the other.
07:26I'm just shocked that Deez Nuts existed then. I really thought us Gen Zers created that.
07:32Gabby.tac, are you crazy? Pick up a book. Deez Nuts have been around since like to kill a
07:38mockingbird, bro. I used to deliver pizza. I had a car that was $500 a cost. My friends took
07:43white tape and on the windshield they put Deez Nuts and I delivered pizza like that for one year
07:49with that on the windshield. All right guys, that's it. I am signing off of the internet for
07:54now. That is enough to make me feel bad about myself for a couple of weeks. Come see me on
07:58tour right now. Everything's fine. Tour on sale at salvocanocomedy.com. See you guys on the road.