Amanda Seyfried joins GQ as she revisits some of her most iconic characters from her career so far: from playing Sophie in Mamma Mia! and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, to her breakthrough role as Karen Smith in Mean Girls.“It was a very specific way of expressing what it’s like to be a teenage girl,” says Seyfried as she revisits her Mean Girls role. “We were playing versions of ourselves and we understood the world better than the crew members because we were at that age!” Watch the full episode of GQ’s Iconic Characters as Amanda Seyfried breaks down her most iconic movie roles."Long Bright River" is now streaming on Peacock: https://www.peacocktv.com
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00:00I love Needy. I guess it was the first time I got to play, like, really nerdy.
00:04Like, Point wearing the glasses and Megan got to turn into a demon, and it was awesome.
00:08We all just had a lot of fun. So I want to celebrate it by doing a sequel.
00:11But she's kind of dead, right?
00:13She is dead, yes. So...
00:14But is she?
00:15I mean, she, you know...
00:16But is she?
00:18I don't think she is.
00:24Mean Girls.
00:26So if you're from Africa, why are you white?
00:30Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
00:33The reason I got that role is I do give a lot of credit to this man, Dennis Steele,
00:39who passed away recently, who was a comedic director.
00:42I had already kind of found Karen with him, and it was sort of like a...
00:47Channeling a little bit of Some Like It Hot, Marilyn Monroe.
00:50And I just held on to that so tight because I felt like that was the reason I got the role.
00:55And I didn't trust my instincts so much as having a clear idea of who I thought this person was.
01:01You want to do something fun?
01:04You want to go to Taco Bell?
01:05Lacey and Lindsay and I were closer in age, and we weren't locals.
01:10So Rachel is Canadian. She lived kind of nearby, and she had a life there.
01:17It's just she wasn't at the hotel.
01:18But on set, it very much felt, like, very collaborative and safe and fun.
01:24Whereas, you know, on the weekends, we would just get up to no good.
01:28It was just kids having fun, you know, at camp.
01:35I can only speak for myself about the experience of making Mean Girls,
01:39but I will say it felt like we weren't really thinking about our characters as much as enjoying the process.
01:48Just enjoying so much being where we were in a comedy with Tina.
01:53Because you're younger. It's different. It's just different.
01:56I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense.
02:00What do you mean?
02:01It's like I have ESPN or something.
02:04My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
02:09Really? That's amazing.
02:12Well, they can tell when it's raining.
02:16I think the message is so universal, and I think comedy helps us move through the world in a gentler way.
02:22It helps us express ourselves, and it helps us express frustrations.
02:26And I just think that Tina Fey just wrote such a beautiful reflection of what it's like to be a teenage girl.
02:32And I think Mean Girls is really helpful for parents and kids,
02:34because we make fun of the assholes and the good, kind kids who are trying to figure out who they are prevail.
02:41But it was just a very specific look at it, a very specific way of expressing that, what it's like to be a teenage girl.
02:48And with all the analogies that Tina Fey used, it was just, it was fun.
02:52And effortless in so many ways.
02:55We were playing versions of ourselves, and we understood the world better than the crew members,
03:01because we were at that age.
03:02So I don't know. It was lightning in a bottle.
03:05It will always be relevant.
03:06You stand the test of time.
03:07It's a beacon in some way.
03:10I'm proud. I love it.
03:11I love when people tell me they love Mean Girls.
03:13I am such a good mom.
03:15I'm impressed.
03:17And I'm Karen.
03:18Getting to play Karen again was something that I really wanted to do for so long.
03:24And kind of a mindfuck, because, you know, I know she's inside of me in so many ways,
03:30because I played a version of her in my own high school in order to stay out of the drama.
03:35But it was a little harder to reach, I think.
03:37The pressure of a commercial in general is a lot.
03:40We were selling products, you know, which is also kind of weird, but fun.
03:46And it was so centered around Mean Girls and the plastics growing up,
03:50but I just felt like I needed to make a choice about Karen in her late 30s.
03:57And you would think it would be easy.
03:58You'd think she'd be the same person.
03:59I think she is the same person.
04:00But for whatever reason, it was a little harder to reach.
04:03But not that hard.
04:04It wasn't, you know what I mean?
04:05It wasn't mind-bending or anything.
04:07But it was a little weird.
04:08It's just weird.
04:09And there is that responsibility, too, to bring it to the fans as well,
04:12because we're making it for the fans.
04:15And we have this short amount of time to create something that a lot of people are going to see.
04:20It was harder than I thought it was going to be.
04:21But I really would have—I would love to play somebody like Karen again soon.
04:28Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia, here we go again.
04:32Well, she's done so much for me.
04:34And she's always talking about you guys in the good old days.
04:37And I thought, what an amazing surprise for her that you are all going to be at my wedding.
04:43Hang on.
04:44Sophie, I can't be here.
04:48The last time I saw your mother, she said she never wanted to see me again.
04:51But that was years ago!
04:53Please!
04:54It would mean a lot to me.
04:55So Mamma Mia was being turned into a movie.
04:58I had to prove so many things to so many people.
05:02And it was a long process.
05:04I was just gleefully going in every time.
05:06And I don't know, I was just joyful about the opportunity.
05:12That was it.
05:12I was just joyful.
05:13I had seen it in Vegas with my boyfriend at the time.
05:16I don't remember taking away so much of what I saw in the Broadway version of Sophie.
05:20I think it was more of an energy, having that visceral reaction to the show.
05:25It was exciting.
05:26It was just a beautiful story.
05:28And of course I wanted to be in that movie.
05:31It impacted me the way it impacts so many people.
05:33It just makes you feel incredibly grateful and excited about life.
05:37And when I left that show, I was like, oh my god, I get it.
05:41I get it.
05:42That was what I held on to, because it was so fresh for me.
05:44I knew Mamma Mia was a huge hit.
05:47And I always thought it was this Greek, beautiful Greek girl on the poster.
05:51But they were just casting someone to play Meryl Streep's daughter.
05:55And I'm like, uh, hi, me.
06:00And I'm not the best singer in the world, but I had that.
06:04Whatever I left Vegas show with, I had that.
06:07And I did see the audition tape.
06:09And you can see I was blissfully excited about the idea of it, and not about getting it.
06:16Oh, come on. We have each other.
06:19Oh, I think we've got more than that.
06:22Take a look.
06:24♪♪♪
06:32It's Bill and Harry!
06:33No!
06:33My god, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again was just a gift.
06:37I think everybody was just so surprised to be back on an island singing ABBA again.
06:41We were just—it's one of those moments where we just look around, and we're like, wow.
06:47Like, look at us. We're back.
06:50For me, my life had changed probably the most out of anybody, because I was so young then.
06:54Now I'm in my 30s, and I have my six-month-old baby on this Croatian island,
06:59which was very hard to live in, because if you ever ran out of diapers,
07:04you have to wait for the next giant ferry to come in the next day.
07:06So it was a very different experience, but the joy was still there.
07:10It existed. It's so unadulterated.
07:12It's just pure magic that happens with this cast and with ABBA and with Bjorn and Benny and Ole Parker,
07:20who came in and had all these ideas with Richard Curtis when they were writing it.
07:24And he just understood what we all needed and what the audience needed, and that's hard to do.
07:29Ole brought so, so much.
07:31Like, he's such a beautiful paternal figure for so many people.
07:35And I think when you have someone like him, who's such a creative and such a really brilliant storyteller,
07:41you kind of almost feel like there's this—this sounds crazy, but a god-like presence.
07:46It's very crazy to say that. He would never—he would hate that I would say that.
07:50But he's so protective of the story and of what everybody needs,
07:53and he's so aware of making sure everybody's comfortable.
07:57And he can find the honesty in every single thing, every single moment,
08:01even though it's a big musical movie. He's good at that.
08:04He's good at taking this crazy tentpole kind of movie and humanizing it.
08:08And I think it's because we all trusted him and knew that he loves what he does
08:13and cares deeply about every single person involved.
08:16Every single person down to, you know, my set costumer and the driver.
08:21And that's why he's a really good director, and that's why he will always work.
08:24Certainly one-of-a-kind.
08:26Yes, I know I don't possess you.
08:30With all my heart, God bless you.
08:34You are still my lover, my love.
08:40Everybody's standing there, like, watching the reunion,
08:42and it just, like, gives me chills to think about because this is a legacy, really.
08:46Like, all of us have this story to tell and have this thing forever to show people.
08:52And, I mean, Meryl just wanted to come back.
08:54She was like, I don't know if I can.
08:55You know, we all came back, and they were able to squeeze her back in,
08:58and she couldn't wait to get to set.
08:59It's like, that's when you know.
09:01That's when you know it's something that means something.
09:03And whenever anybody, which is all the time, comes up to me and says,
09:07I love Mamma Mia, will you sign this for me?
09:09I'm just, like, gladly, because it was just an experience that I just want to have again and again.
09:15Who gets that in their career?
09:17Les Miserables.
09:42Les Mis was an incredible movie, and, oh, God, I loved it.
09:45The costumes, the people, the, oh, we were all really happy to be there.
09:48But I, unfortunately, was not technically ready or capable of the live singing in the way that I would have liked to be.
09:58That process was infuriating.
10:00I knew what I had to sing, but they're hard songs, and the acting part of it came naturally, and I loved it.
10:07It was very indulgent.
10:08It was beautiful to be able to, like, how strange is the feeling that my life's begun at last?
10:12I was also worried about my accent, but that was the least of my worries.
10:15I'm getting to sing all these things to you, and it feels so natural, but it's like, what's the matter with you?
10:21Because that's, like, it's, I also have to be very musical.
10:25It didn't hit the mark the way Eddie was hitting it, the way Samantha barks is, I mean, she's, like, miles better than all of us, technically.
10:35Annie Hathaway, like, even when she's, like, crying and taking him at the end, it's just like, it was perfect.
10:41It was perfect.
10:42It's what made that movie fucking fly, and I was lacking.
10:48I was lacking in a way that I really wish I hadn't been, and that's a regret I have, and everybody's like, you're crazy, but I'm not.
10:55I know what I would have liked to sound like.
10:58I would have liked to sound like I sound now.
11:01Veronica Mars.
11:06God, Lily, I see the Prozac's working.
11:08High on life, Veronica Mars.
11:10I've got a secret, a good one.
11:12Girls, less talk, more scrub.
11:15Later.
11:17Veronica Mars was so interesting because I had just turned 18.
11:21I was doing Big Love and Veronica Mars at the same time.
11:23I was very lucky to have gotten pilots that first season.
11:26I worked my ass off, not saying it wasn't, like, somewhat earned, but I was lucky.
11:31I remember, like, just driving down to San Diego from LA by myself in the Marriott, coming to set, hanging out.
11:39Again, I'm 18, so I'm just having fun, meeting great people.
11:42Kristen and I had a great time.
11:44She was excited to be in the show.
11:46We were all on location in San Diego with great, great showrunners, and Kristen had her dog.
11:52There was, like, a scene with cake, and I remember, like, eating the cake.
11:56I can't recall the first thing I ever shot.
11:59Oh, I know what it was.
12:00Lily Kane was thrown in a pool to drown, but that's not how she died.
12:07They cut it.
12:08So the first scene, it was by myself in a pool with contacts.
12:12And they were like, stop, stop blowing bubbles out your nose.
12:15And I'm like, I'm trying really hard not to, but even when I'm holding my nose, bubbles can't help but come out.
12:23I'm like, I didn't know.
12:24It was very surreal.
12:25And the first time I'd ever died, you know, on screen.
12:28And then they cut it, and they turned it around and turned it into, like, a head trauma.
12:32I knew she was the one who had died and that the death she was trying to investigate of her best friend.
12:36But I didn't know how beloved she would be, how iconic she would be.
12:40I mean, looking back, the writing was there.
12:42It was all flashbacks, of course.
12:43And it was just like, Veronica, she was the one that was lost.
12:47Like, she was never missing, but I can understand now.
12:49I think we understood that she had a hole in her heart.
12:53And it was a really great job to have with really great actors.
12:59Really great people came in and out of that show.
13:03Twin Peaks.
13:07And I'll get you some bread.
13:10Why?
13:11Because I heard you've been eating it all day.
13:30David Lynch was not just a wacky savant.
13:35He wasn't just unapologetic about his vision, unafraid to go into the darkness.
13:43He was also, like, the nicest man.
13:45He was everything good and everything really, really, really warm and wonderful about Hollywood and filmmaking.
13:51You won't ever hear anything else.
13:53And working with him was just like, what would you like, sir?
13:57What can I do you for?
13:59And he was joyful about giving you the direction, even if you were doing it completely wrong.
14:03He was just very excited about where you were going to take this character.
14:06Because he wrote it. He knew what he wanted.
14:08But he was also, like, very excited to see how you would do it.
14:11It's a full collaboration.
14:13Becky, what's going on?
14:14I hate him.
14:15Becky!
14:16I hate him.
14:17What happened?
14:18I hate him.
14:19Becky!
14:20Becky!
14:21Becky!
14:22Open!
14:23Becky, don't!
14:24Becky, stop!
14:25Becky!
14:28Becky!
14:29Becky, stop!
14:31I wanted to give him everything he deserved.
14:33But when I did do something that really excited him, it excited me, too.
14:37Because then I kind of knew I'd hit something that he was looking for.
14:42I was very warm.
14:43It's so funny.
14:44I'm always like, Daddy?
14:45Not really.
14:46To anybody.
14:47I've never called a director Daddy.
14:48But that's how I feel.
14:50You know what I mean?
14:51I'm just like, I want to please.
14:53I just want to please.
14:54And I want to please myself now.
14:56And I got to do both of that in Twin Peaks.
14:59Because it was just so singular.
15:03Mank.
15:08I know you.
15:09Well, what's at stake here?
15:12We met at John Gilbert's birthday.
15:15You're Herman Mankiewicz.
15:16Guilty.
15:17And I remember you, Miss Davis.
15:20Regaling us with stories about dodging trolley cars in Brooklyn.
15:26Your flatbush was showing.
15:29David likes to rehearse on set for a full day before we film.
15:34In no way is that luxury something that I take for granted.
15:38Because it just doesn't happen anymore.
15:40No one has that kind of money or time to have this space to explore.
15:45That's what makes his work so wonderful.
15:48And these are really long scenes with some insane monologues.
15:52And so we need every minute that we can get together on the set.
15:56Knowing how our bodies feel on the concrete.
15:58How we're going to move around each other, around the fountain.
16:01How we're going to see the CGI animals and what the bench looks like.
16:05And become comfortable with your surroundings.
16:08We never get that.
16:09For Mank, we all were together a lot.
16:11All the actors came together a lot to rehearse these scenes on set days before shooting.
16:17Dave Fincher doesn't mince words.
16:21He's very clear as to what he wants.
16:23And he's also very patient.
16:27Patience is also really hard to find in a director.
16:29But all the good directors are.
16:30They're very patient.
16:31And so, although I thought, what am I doing in this movie?
16:35I do not belong here.
16:36I'm too contemporary.
16:37I don't know who this woman is.
16:39Even though I read everything I could read on Marion Davies.
16:42We had somebody whose sole job was to unearth old recordings and information about all these characters.
16:48I did listen to scratchy recordings of Marion Davies.
16:50I did work on my Flatbush accent.
16:53Which comes a lot easier than Manchester, I'll tell you that much.
16:55Hello, Tokyo?
16:59London, you there?
17:01Ah, nerds.
17:03What is that?
17:04Ah, Pops' radio phones.
17:06Never ever be out of touch with your empire.
17:09No, no, what's nerds?
17:11Nerds is Brooklynese for nuts.
17:15The physicality of Marion would not have happened without all the time I got to spend with her before we rolled.
17:22You've got to live in it for a long time in order to feel like it's second nature.
17:26You're not thinking about it.
17:27Because there's so much of these characters that you need them to be second nature.
17:31But you don't have enough time.
17:32And so, you're constantly juggling eight things before the director even brings you notes.
17:36In a way, we're very prepared for these moments of having too much to think about.
17:40But it's always too much to think about.
17:42And it would be nice if there was less.
17:44What you get in a David Fincher movie, or what at least I feel like I got, was another chance.
17:50Always another chance.
17:51Because 99% of the time I walk away from a scene and I'm like,
17:54Ugh, I don't want to do that again.
17:56I really don't want to do it again.
17:57But I bet I could have done that better.
17:58I got everything I needed to get.
18:00And he got everything he needed to get.
18:02And we could all go to sleep at night.
18:03Like, we fucking did it.
18:05And after that first bonfire scene, I definitely walked away feeling like,
18:10I don't know who this person is yet.
18:11I'm struggling here.
18:13My sister was having a baby that day.
18:15I was present, but I was insecure.
18:17And when I found out we were shooting it again, I was like,
18:19Oh, God. What? How long is that going to take?
18:23And then I was like, Oh my God.
18:25I could make this the best scene in the movie for me.
18:28And I did.
18:29Because we were there for another three days.
18:30And I was pregnant with my other kid.
18:32And there was a smoke.
18:33And I was smoking.
18:34It was just like, it could have been madness, but it was joy.
18:37And we were just there all day.
18:38And the next day and the next day.
18:40And it was cold in the morning and warm at night.
18:42We were making movies like the way they used to make movies.
18:45And it was just so iconic in my mind.
18:48And I knew how to say that line.
18:51Your flatbush is showing, he says to me.
18:54And I was like, Mr. Mankiewicz, I need a sicky-boo.
18:59I'm being burned at the stake, and I am dying for a sicky-boo.
19:03Like, it was just so, it was her.
19:06I fully got it.
19:08There's no way I would have ever felt that any of that validation
19:13and that credit was earned if we had seven takes to do it.
19:17Because I wouldn't have done that hard work.
19:20Because I'm not built that way.
19:21I'm lazy.
19:23I am.
19:24Like, I know I'm not.
19:25I do good work, and I do get to where I need to do it.
19:27And I work my ass off.
19:28But David asks you to work your ass off to the 10th power.
19:34And that is why, you know, I do it again.
19:37It's hard work, though.
19:39First Reformed.
19:44Explosives.
19:46It's his suicide vest.
19:49And there's other elements in there, too.
19:51There's batteries and detonators and tubes of jelly.
19:58You know, he'd been working in the garage lately,
20:01and he said he was fixing a motor.
20:04And I didn't question him.
20:06Because I was just happy that he was doing something that made him happy.
20:10But you had no idea what he was thinking?
20:12No, no suspicions.
20:14Nothing like this.
20:15People say, God, I love First Reformed.
20:18And I say, oh, yeah, thank you.
20:20Yeah, yeah, it's a really good movie.
20:21Because I wasn't in it, to me.
20:23Was I nearly there in every scene?
20:25Yeah.
20:26But I didn't have enough time, and I just,
20:29I was so obsessed with Paul and so happy to be doing it
20:32and so incredibly pregnant that I was split.
20:36When I think back to shooting that, I have some regrets.
20:40But I also learned a lot, and I also think that we did great work,
20:43and I was there, and I was good.
20:46But I do think that I could have minded more,
20:49and I could have been more present.
20:51I really do.
20:52I don't think Paul would agree with me,
20:54and I know Ethan wouldn't agree with me,
20:55but there was something else inside of me that was taking my attention,
21:00and that was the performance that I gave on those days.
21:03And that's okay, because I'm never going to just throw up all over something.
21:07I've got an engine that I utilize whenever I'm acting,
21:11but I needed to go to the shop, I think.
21:13And that's how I feel about that movie.
21:14But that movie's genius.
21:16That movie is Ethan Hawke's best work by far.
21:18It is raw and terrifying and, oh, so weird.
21:23It was a joy in so many ways.
21:25It was just a joy to be a part of.
21:26I mean, I cannot believe I can put that on my resume.
21:29But it was all Ethan.
21:32Jennifer's body.
21:36Are you PMSing or something?
21:38PMS isn't real needy.
21:40It was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem crazy.
21:45Don't look at me like that.
21:48It's just wearing off or something.
21:50What's wearing off?
21:53I can't critique this movie.
21:55It's, to me, a perfect movie.
21:57It's got balls.
21:59Diablo Cody was outspoken and beautiful and smart and funny.
22:02And we were expressing a certain angst in a very, very specific,
22:06comedic way in a very specific genre.
22:09God, the special effects were so incredible.
22:12There were stunts.
22:13There was everything that you could want.
22:15I mean, girl-on-girl action.
22:17You killed my fucking boyfriend!
22:19You goddamn monster!
22:21You son of a bitch!
22:22And if the critics criticized anything, it would be the marketing.
22:25The marketing sucked.
22:27It just did.
22:28And we all agree.
22:29Karin is like a fierce advocate of women in storytelling.
22:33She is able to enhance the relationships between women on film and TV.
22:39She's able to mine everything she can.
22:41And she's very, very human.
22:43And she's very sensitive.
22:44But I felt like she cared deeply about the story underneath all of it.
22:51She just got it all and she put it together so beautifully.
22:54And the marketing team cheapened it.
22:57Like it was just, you know, a romp, a gory romp.
23:03I think they ruined it.
23:04And I think that Karin and Diablo were a really good team.
23:07And Megan and I are a really good team.
23:09You know, I'm looking forward to the sequel.
23:14They're working.
23:15They're working on it.
23:16I already said thumbs up.
23:18I was like, whenever you're ready, I'm ready.
23:20Because I want to play Needy.
23:22I love Needy.
23:23I guess it was the first time I got to play like really nerdy.
23:26And Megan got to turn into a fucking demon.
23:29And it was awesome.
23:31We all just had a lot of fun.
23:32So I want to celebrate it by doing a sequel.
23:35I just want to see Needy in a power position.
23:37Not necessarily in a power suit, but in a power position.
23:40You know, maybe she runs her branch of Planned Parenthood or something.
23:42She's a badass.
23:43And I don't know, where would Megan be?
23:45Yeah, she's probably like somebody's chief of staff.
23:50But she's kind of dead, right?
23:52She is dead, yes.
23:53But is she?
23:54I mean, you know.
23:55But is she?
23:57I don't think she is.
24:00Big love.
24:04Scott.
24:06What?
24:07I have something to confess.
24:10I'm not the you.
24:12I met Kimora.
24:14High school.
24:15And Sandy.
24:18How old are you, really?
24:20Eighteen.
24:21I'm eighteen.
24:23Everything else is true.
24:24Me, Sarah.
24:26My three moms.
24:32Don't hate me.
24:34Ten years older isn't that big a deal.
24:36Big love was just me playing myself.
24:38It was like me playing the repressed version of myself.
24:42It was almost like an acting class.
24:44I was acting with all these different types of actors with different processes.
24:47And I learned a lot.
24:48I was just a sponge on that show.
24:50Sarah Henriksen was a sponge and I was a sponge.
24:52And I thought less about the process of my acting and more about learning how to access certain parts of myself.
24:59I think we all feel the same way about that show.
25:01I wasn't alone in learning things.
25:04And Aaron Paul, my god.
25:06It was just a really wonderful play, Marry Me.
25:12Are you serious?
25:13I was eighteen years old when I got that show.
25:16I was developing my skills as an actor and my skills as a social being on a film set.
25:22And I was learning and making friends.
25:24And it was my college.
25:26And watching people work together and the drama and the tension.
25:31It was never ugly.
25:32It was just fascinating.
25:34It was awesome.
25:35I know there was an issue with me possibly trying to do this giant superhero movie with a bunch of girls.
25:43And I knew that I wasn't really allowed to.
25:46It forced me to recognize my frustration in being in the background holding babies.
25:52There's like, I have a lot of opportunities right now.
25:54Thanks to you and thanks to Mama Mia.
25:56It was like, I'm grateful.
25:58I'm here.
25:59If you're not going to use me, may I go?
26:02They were really kind about it.
26:04At first it was scary for them, I think.
26:06I really, really leaned on Bill and Jean.
26:09I was like, what am I doing?
26:10What do I do?
26:12You get what I mean, right?
26:14I'm in the background.
26:15I'm being brought to set and I have no lines.
26:17And I understand that we do that in an ensemble.
26:20But I'm doing it so often, more often than not.
26:23So then I didn't do the last season, but I did come back at the end.
26:26And it was just like, everything was so positive and loving.
26:30To this day, running into Mark and Will, it's an appreciation.
26:33But it was also like a family.
26:34We were like...
26:37The Dropout.
26:41Theranos.
26:42I thought it was Theranos.
26:44No, Theranos.
26:45It's a mix between therapy and diagnosis.
26:48Why not?
26:49Theranosus.
26:51Because the name is Theranos.
26:54Actually, can we cut that part about the name?
26:56The Dropout just dropped in my effing lap.
26:59It was the first time I had COVID, too.
27:01So I was getting such good news.
27:03And then I was like, I don't want to shoot in LA.
27:05My legs are sweaty.
27:06I have a fever.
27:07I got to go to my agents on the phone.
27:09And then I called back an hour later after the first episode of The Dropout.
27:13And I was like, yeah, sorry.
27:14No, I'm sorry about that.
27:15I need to take Advil.
27:16I'm really stressed out.
27:17So I was pumping milk for my kid upstairs.
27:19I was like, if this is a dream come true, I'm obviously going to do this.
27:22I love Michael Showalter.
27:23Liz Merriweather is a genius.
27:25This is the best opportunity I've gone into my adult life.
27:28As a mother, A, I'm playing someone from 17 to mid-30s.
27:34B, it's the number one on a show, which I've never done.
27:38C, it's a story that I was captivated by.
27:43One thing that I'm always kind of curious about,
27:45if there was something in those deposition tapes
27:47that really made her like, that's her.
27:49That's Elizabeth Holmes.
27:50That's who she is.
27:51Every time she drank her coffee.
27:53Because you can't perform drinking coffee.
27:55I don't know how to describe it.
27:56It's just the way she drank her coffee, when she drank her coffee.
27:59You're drinking your coffee.
28:00There's no way to perform that.
28:02It's just like, you're hiding from something.
28:05She would swallow a certain way.
28:06Her visual discomfort was very palpable.
28:10There were different smiles.
28:11That was my treasure box.
28:12Every time I needed some help or guidance,
28:15I would go out of my computer and click on the four hours of the deposition,
28:19write on my thumbnails, and the rest of it was in the world book.
28:22What a gift that is to have someone sitting there for hours and hours and hours,
28:27and in a deposition tape it goes one step further,
28:30where it's just like you are under oath,
28:33and there are lights on you that are not flattering at all.
28:37You're not in a good spot when you're in a deposition, most of the time.
28:40I don't know how to describe it.
28:42It's just such a bizarre, weird thing for me to have to watch for hours and hours,
28:48but I couldn't take my eyes off of them.
28:51Mimicking somebody is so weirdly indulgent and exciting,
28:59and that was my teacher.
29:04She was my teacher.
29:11You think somebody killed her?
29:13Not sure.
29:14No one in their right mind would inject themselves with that much insulin,
29:17but right mind is the operative term here.
29:19Unless the other bodies were injected too, are you going to do an autopsy?
29:22Wasn't planning on it.
29:23Both of them came in as accidental ODs.
29:25You know something I don't?
29:28Three bodies discovered in four days.
29:31Similar demographics on the victims, and one of them might have been murdered.
29:35If there's a bad batch of something out there, then these girls need to know what it is.
29:38If there isn't, then they need to know to watch their backs.
29:41If I don't tell them.
29:44Longway River is a long, dark, dry land.
29:49Just kidding.
29:50It's hectic, and it's energy-sucking for the characters,
29:57the roles, and the people that exist in this world.
30:01They're fictionalized, but this is just really happening all the time.
30:05This is completely based in all reality, which is a lovely way of telling stories,
30:10because unfortunately a lot of people just don't know,
30:13and the more you know, the more you can hopefully be of service,
30:16or at least have compassion.
30:18I'm playing this character who exists in this really dark place,
30:22where she doesn't trust anybody for good reason, and she needs control.
30:26The way she holds control is through keeping all the information.
30:30The person that she loves in her estrangement is her sister,
30:33and she doesn't have a mom anymore.
30:36She thinks her dad is gone.
30:38The world is small, and she only has so much she can take control of.
30:41So she does, and her sister goes missing, and these sex workers are being killed,
30:45which, you know, she can't even trust the cops to give a shit.
30:49And it's just really stressful.
30:50Of course, you just try to keep all the control that you can have,
30:53in the way she raises her son as a single mom.
30:56She doesn't have any friends, because that would mean giving pieces of yourself away,
31:01and that's just not safe to do.
31:04And it sucks, because that's a lot of people.
31:06But it did cost me to do that show.
31:09It cost me a lot.
31:11I've never been so aware of the intense pressure and responsibility of making this show good.
31:19It's never been so important that something resonate.
31:23This needed to feel less like a thriller and more like you're watching other people try to survive,
31:28and the only way to get people to relate to it is to tell their stories,
31:32or at least tell stories of people that they don't know about,
31:35and so they can empathize, and it's just like the struggle between, you know,
31:38the studios and everybody wanting good television, good television.
31:42It's like, what does good television mean?
31:44It could mean anything, different days for different people.
31:46It was a huge responsibility of grounding every single moment that I had with Mickey and with Casey,
31:51and we have great actors in it, so it was easier to do.
31:54But it was dark, and it was cold to shoot.
31:56My bones ached after the show, but I think the hardest part was being away from my kids,
32:01and feeling that insulated within the show, the hours of working on a shoot.
32:07It's at least 14 hours, period, no matter what.
32:10It was just hard. It was hard.
32:12But I wouldn't have taken it if I didn't want to do it.
32:14I enjoyed, you know, almost every minute on set.
32:17It's just a slog after a while.
32:19You know, you're just telling these real stories.
32:21And we get to go home, we get to clean our hands of it and take a nap,
32:24wash our faces and take a shower and wake up the next day and have a good breakfast,
32:28and you're telling lots of stories about lots of people who can't,
32:31and that's always floating.
32:34That's the reality, you know, and I'm sitting here sitting pretty.