ALLAH IS ONE
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Have you heard of a term called neuroplasticity?
00:07Or it's also called brain plasticity.
00:10Literally, brothers and sisters, the brain that you and I have,
00:14you and I have control over changing it in the way we want.
00:20It's not an easy task, but we can.
00:23And you can teach your children that they are able to change their brains.
00:27Just give them the example of Legos.
00:29You can build the Legos, dismantle the Legos, rebuild them in a different way,
00:34change parts of it here, like Legos, like blocks of Legos.
00:37Our brain is.
00:39Right inside, there are little tiny channels.
00:43Neurons connect to other neurons.
00:45Allahu alam, 30 billion, 300 billion, I don't know, many billions of neurons.
00:49They connect and they make highways and roads.
00:52And they grow.
00:54Like these little roots, they grow.
00:56And they make new bridges and connections.
00:58When you develop habits, these channels grow.
01:02Develop other habits, these channels grow.
01:04You stop certain habits, the channels get less.
01:06Other channels grow.
01:07Your brain gets rewired every time.
01:09It's a beautiful study.
01:10And Allah, He tells us that in the Quran.
01:13He tells us that we are responsible for what our brains decide.
01:20But the ones we're responsible for is the one right at the front of our brain,
01:24not the rest of our brain.
01:25Does anyone know at what age the child's brain is almost fully complete,
01:33close to adulthood?
01:34At what age do you think it's almost fully complete?
01:37Modern studies tell us about six, could be seven, around that age.
01:41It's true.
01:42That means the way the child grew up with their parents
01:45and their environment and their experiences,
01:48there are those channels in the brain have already been set
01:51at six or seven years old.
01:53After that, the brain starts to develop in a different way.
01:56And when you reach puberty, guess what starts to develop in your brain?
01:59The front part of your brain, prefrontal cortex.
02:02That keeps growing until about 25 years old.
02:04That's the place responsible for judgment, decision-making, fears,
02:08and so on and so forth.
02:09Rationale, all that, making decisions through it.
02:12Allah says in the Quran,
02:15كَلَّا لَئِلَّمْ يَنْتَهِي لَنَسْفَعًا بِالنَّاسِيَةِ
02:18نَاسِيَةٍ كَاذِبَةٍ خَاطِئَةٍ
02:21Nay, if he does not desist from his oppressive and wrong actions,
02:26he's talking about Abu Jahl,
02:27but in general to all of us, the human who oppresses and does wrong,
02:31we shall take him by his forelock on the day of judgment,
02:34a lying, sinful forelock.
02:36Forelock here is the frontal cortex responsible for decisions.
02:40Allah called it lying and sinful because we have control over that.
02:43Now what affects that?
02:44Our brain development.
02:45Now when you understand this, brothers and sisters,
02:47you have a bit more empathy on yourself.
02:48You say to yourself, subhanAllah,
02:49my upbringing was a little bit like this and like that.
02:52Can I change it?
02:53Yes, inshaAllah you can.
02:55Ibn al-Qayyim writes in his book,
02:58he mentions how habits develop, good and bad habits.
03:03So he uses the example of sins.
03:05He says every bad habit, every sinful habit begins with a thought.
03:10A what? A thought.
03:11Whisper.
03:12Comes and goes.
03:13If you catch that thought and hold on to it,
03:15it turns into an idea.
03:17If you hold on to the idea and don't repel it,
03:20it turns into a plan.
03:23If you hold on to the plan and you don't repel it,
03:25it turns into an action.
03:28If you repeat the action,
03:29the less you feel sensitive towards it
03:32and the more normalized it becomes,
03:34then it turns into a habit.
03:36And what do habits turn into if you don't deal with them?
03:39Addictions.
03:40Now, the reversal is the same way.
03:43Come up with a thought to counter it.
03:45Then get an idea, plan it, do an action.
03:48Get into the opposite habit again and again
03:50and inshaAllah it will go away.
03:51Example.
03:52A young person reaches puberty
03:55and the hormones begin to ignite.
03:59Sexual hormones.
04:00A friend at school says,
04:02there are websites you can look at
04:04to satisfy your desire.
04:06He goes and thinks,
04:07my parents watch me everywhere,
04:09then he goes,
04:10how am I going to do it?
04:11I've got a thought.
04:12A thought I want to look.
04:13How am I going to do it?
04:14I'll get an idea.
04:15The idea is,
04:17use some kind of software or some way,
04:20ask my friends.
04:22Then a plan.
04:23I'll choose the right time,
04:24this is where I'm going to look.
04:25Then the action happens.
04:27They didn't get caught.
04:29So, they remember the pleasure.
04:32Next time, again.
04:34And again.
04:35And again.
04:36And again.
04:37And again.
04:38Then it becomes a habit.
04:40Then it becomes an addiction.
04:43How to reverse that?
04:45Number one, you need willpower.
04:47You need to make that decision.
04:48Make wudu.
04:49Pray two rak'ahs.
04:51And say,
04:52oh Allah,
04:53I have made the decision to work on myself.
04:55Assist me and help me with your support.
04:57So, you've got to make the decision.
04:59Then move forward.
05:01Think.
05:02You've got the thought,
05:03what's the idea?
05:04Reverse it.
05:06Well, when does it normally happen?
05:08It happens at night at this time.
05:10Through what?
05:11Through my device.
05:12Okay.
05:13Get rid of my VPN,
05:15whatever it is that I'm using.
05:17Put an app that stops these websites from coming up.
05:21And put your phone outside in the lounge
05:23when you go to sleep and sleep.
05:25The first time it's very hard.
05:26But as you go forward,
05:27inshallah,
05:28sometimes you need support,
05:29sometimes you need to talk to a friend or somebody.
05:31And you can reverse it.
05:32It's not easy,
05:33but you can.
05:34And the rewiring in your brain changes.
05:36And that's how you find the willpower afterwards.
05:38One brother,
05:39he said to me,
05:40brother,
05:41I want to pray at the masjid every fajr.
05:42I said,
05:43it's a big task.
05:44He said,
05:45how can I do it?
05:46I said,
05:47start with the thought,
05:48then get an idea,
05:49then plan it,
05:50then do it.
05:51He said,
05:52my thought is to pray in the masjid every fajr.
05:53What's the idea?
05:54He said,
05:55I'm going to sleep a little bit early
05:56because my problem is that if I don't sleep early,
05:57I can't wake up.
05:58Next,
05:59I'm not going to drink coffee,
06:00I'm not going to eat late.
06:01My last meal will be 8pm,
06:02for example.
06:03Whatever he did,
06:04he knew himself.
06:05He planned for it.
06:06Then he woke up.
06:07First time was that,
06:08second time was that.
06:09Now,
06:10I played with his brain as well.
06:11Studying neuroplasticity,
06:12you've got to help him a bit.
06:13So I said to him,
06:14I just gave him a number.
06:15I just gave him any number.
06:16I said,
06:17it'll take you 40 days.
06:18Maybe it's right,
06:19maybe it's wrong.
06:20I just said 40 days.
06:21The brother,
06:22after 40 days,
06:23went to give a talk in Sydney.
06:24And when I say after 40 days,
06:25meaning like two months later or three months later,
06:26I went there,
06:27but it was,
06:28then he comes up and he says,
06:29brother,
06:30wallahi,
06:31it worked.
06:32Wallahi,
06:33after 40 days,
06:34I couldn't turn back anymore.
06:35Till now,
06:36I'm doing it.
06:37I said,
06:38maybe I should have set him 20 days,
06:39maybe something like that.
06:40But the point is,
06:41brothers and sisters,
06:42he reversed it.
06:43And it became a habit.
06:44It became easy.
06:45But you can't expect everything to happen straight away.
06:46It happens slowly,
06:47inshallah.
06:48Neuroplasticity,
06:49your body all reacts to it,
06:50everything.
06:51Childhood traumas,
06:52start with the parents
06:53and the way they talk to their children.
06:56Especially children
06:57who have something called ADHD.
06:59It's a problem with attention,
07:01attention disorder.
07:02And what happens is that
07:03we don't understand that,
07:04we don't read a lot.
07:05We tend to make it worse.
07:07This child truly is born with a slight delay.
07:10At their same age,
07:12they're just not as attentive as others their age.
07:15No child experiences the same upbringing
07:18as their sibling.
07:20A brother who is the oldest
07:22does not have the same experience
07:23as the brother who is second
07:25or the youngest
07:26or the middle child
07:27or the girl.
07:28It's like each one had their own family.
07:30Literally, if you have five children,
07:32they had five different families.
07:34The older child is treated different to the youngest one.
07:36The youngest one is spoiled.
07:37Everything is cute.
07:39The older one is a bit more responsibility.
07:41And the middle one is usually neglected.
07:44And then we come to treat each one of them
07:47with the same consequence
07:48and the same words.
07:50It's very hard to parent.
07:51And Allah SWT forgives us for our shortcoming.
07:53But we do need to read more about parenting
07:56and these new names.
07:57So you have a child, for example,
07:59is diagnosed with ADHD.
08:01Now, before I say something,
08:03one thing I tell my young brothers and sisters,
08:05my dear, my dear,
08:07and I'm old enough to be your father for some of you,
08:09my dear son, my dear daughter,
08:10my dear brother, my dear sister,
08:12never ever ever,
08:13remember this,
08:14never ever self-diagnose.
08:17Don't diagnose yourself
08:19as if you're your psychologist.
08:21Just because you had a bit of anxiety
08:22or a bit of depression
08:23or your chest was a little bit constricted
08:27does not mean you are sick.