• 2 months ago
Transcript
00:00Would you look at me? Another fine mess I've gotten myself into.
00:05You ever heard the phrase, you can eat a llama to water, but you can't make it drink?
00:09Well, frankly, I have no idea what that means.
00:12However, there's another phrase. You are your own worst enemy.
00:15And that's today's lesson, Coosketeers.
00:17I'm stuck hanging on this wall while another me ruins my life.
00:21Or his life. Or our life. It's sort of hard to explain.
00:24But it'll all make sense if you just go back to a little earlier today.
00:27Oh, no! How could you two make such a mess?
00:30Earlier today, I was already hanging on this wall.
00:32How about a little earlier yesterday, when Mr. Moluguaco said...
00:35For tonight's homework, you are to write a paper on my best friend.
00:39I don't know your best friend.
00:40Not my best friend, your best friend.
00:42But you said my best friend.
00:44Right.
00:45Yet you meant your best friend?
00:46Exactly.
00:47Are you following us?
00:48No, but I'm taking notes.
00:51You're supposed to write a paper entitled My Best Friend about your best friend.
00:55Yeah, what about Mr. Moluguaco's friend?
00:57Yeah, he started it.
00:58See? The toys go in here.
01:02These ring?
01:03Yep. It's already time for Coosco's Doodles.
01:06That's the part of the show where I get to write my My Best Friend paper.
01:10Well, that's easy.
01:11Melina, a.k.a. Hottie Hot Hottie, is my best friend.
01:14Of course, she's best friends with Cutesy Fury and Cuca.
01:18That doesn't work.
01:19And I guess my best friend is definitely Pacha.
01:21Of course, he likes his wife, and there's his kids, and Misty.
01:25What's up with him liking the llama better than me?
01:28There's Bucky.
01:29Uh, no.
01:31And that leaves Kronk.
01:33Hmm. Well, maybe he could be my best friend, if I gave him, like, cooler clothes and a motorcycle with a sidecar.
01:39I got all the latest stuff.
01:41Of course, Yzma's his best friend. Go figure that one out.
01:44I mean, who'd want to be best friends with an old dinosaur like her?
01:48I'm Yzmasaurus Rex!
01:52Wrinkliest dinosaur to ever live!
01:58She's pretty wrinkly.
01:59And I want my sandwich in little pieces, like Rosie.
02:02Who is my best friend?
02:03How's it going? Need any help? You're writing the best friend paper, are you?
02:07I thought you might need help, because you keep writing, then erasing, then writing, then erasing, then writing, then erasing, then...
02:11I don't need any help.
02:13Do emperors even have best friends?
02:15Yes, and I'm writing and erasing and writing and erasing so much, because I can't decide which of my ever so...
02:21many best friends to write about.
02:23So, which one did you pick?
02:25Huh? Oh. Uh, I picked...
02:30Brad. Uh, Brad!
02:31Brad who?
02:32Right, right, right.
02:38Brad...
02:40Bol...
02:41Llama.
02:42Brad Bollama?
02:44I've never heard of a Brad Llama.
02:46Yeah, that's because he's allergic to little girls with squeaky high voices.
02:50That's his name, and that's the title of my paper.
02:52Brad Bollama.
02:55By Super Cool and Funny Best Friend by Klusko.
02:58Brad Bollama is, uh, super cool and funny, and he used to be an emperor, and he's funny.
03:05He likes everything I like, and he hates cauliflower, which I hate too.
03:09He doesn't like Yzma either.
03:11He thinks Melina is a hottie, hot, hot, hot, hottie, and should spend more time with Kuzco.
03:17And did I mention he's super cool and he's funny because he is the end?
03:22I win!
03:23Isn't he great?
03:24That Brad sounds awesome. I wish he was my best friend, instead of Yzmasaurus.
03:29There's no such person, Kronk. He made it up.
03:32What'd you do, look at a bowl and a llama and make up that stupid name?
03:35I'm surprised his name isn't Brad Banana Staircase Hat.
03:40That's dumb.
03:41Kuzco, did you make this up?
03:44Uh...
03:45You know, it's okay not to have a best friend. I don't.
03:49But I do. Brad, um, uh...
03:52Bollama.
03:53Right, see? Kronk even knows him.
03:55Then you know what? I think I'd like to meet this super cool and funny best friend of yours.
04:01Well, what makes you think he wants to meet you? I mean, with that attitude.
04:06Because I'm sure he wouldn't want to let his best friend Kuzco down.
04:10And if you fail to present him, then I'll have no choice but to grade your paper accordingly.
04:20You, uh, wanted to see me, Principal Amsy?
04:23Get in here, Kronk.
04:24Look, I wasn't cheating. I was stretching my neck muscles. Got a pinched nerve.
04:28Kronk!
04:29It's me!
04:31Wow! Alright, then who am I?
04:34You're Kronk in underwear.
04:37I finally got the perfect plan to fail Kuzco.
04:40To the secret lab!
04:43Pull the lever, Kronk!
04:46You mind? I'm sorta... shy.
04:52For your convenience, we ask that you observe all secret lab safety instructions.
04:57Sorry for the hold-up, folks. There seems to be a slow-moving train up ahead.
05:09Thank you for waiting.
05:22I've done it this time, Kronk!
05:24I've done it this time, Kronk!
05:27Just take a look at this!
05:34Phew!
05:35Once you spray Kuzco with this potion, it will create a Kuzco clone.
05:40Another Kuzco. That seems to go against the whole get rid of him thing.
05:45Ah, but here's the twist.
05:47The Kuzco clone is programmed to 1. Take over Kuzco's life.
05:51Then B. Fail all his classes.
05:53Oh, I get it.
05:57Actually, I don't get it.
05:59You sneak to Butcher's house and spray Kuzco through the window with the cloning potion.
06:03Once the clone is created, you climb through the window and bring the real Kuzco back here and lock him up.
06:08Thus, leaving the Kuzco clone behind.
06:10Then, the Kuzcone, as we'll call him, will fool everyone into thinking he's Kuzco and flunk out of Kuzco Academy.
06:17It's brilliant! Brilliant!
06:24Yeah, could you write that down for me?
06:26The, uh, bullet points.
06:29Just go, Kronk, and don't mess things up.
06:34Tiptoe, tiptoe, hide.
06:37Tiptoe, tiptoe, hide.
06:40Tiptoe, tiptoe, hide.
06:42Tiptoe, tiptoe, disguise!
06:44If there's a hair growing out of it, I'd leave it alone.
06:49Climb, climb, climb, climb, climb.
06:51Climb, climb, climb, climb, climb.
06:53Climb, climb, climb, climb, climb.
06:55Sneak, sneak, sneak.
06:57Die!
07:02Look, look, leap.
07:04Ladder.
07:06Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
07:08And look.
07:09Let's see, I could ask Pacha to dress up as my best friend, but he's not super cool or funny or used to be an emperor.
07:18Hmm, maybe I'll first make a list of everyone I know who is super cool and funny and an emperor.
07:23Okay, here I go.
07:28There's me.
07:31That's one.
07:34And there's me.
07:35That's two.
07:41Okay, this is weird.
07:43Okay, this is weird.
07:45Okay, now it's weirder.
07:46Okay, now it's weirder.
07:47You just say everything I say.
07:49No.
07:50Okay, I'm concentrating.
07:52First, I spray Cusco through the window with the cloning motion.
07:55Check.
07:56Next part of the plan.
07:57I climb through the window and take the real Cusco and leave the clone.
08:01Through the window.
08:03Not gonna happen.
08:05Down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
08:07Woo!
08:08Hey, Croc.
08:10The Cronkster.
08:11Crockity, crock, crock.
08:12The big key.
08:13Senor Spinach Puff.
08:15Yzma's number one.
08:16Cronk.
08:17Nice of you to knock.
08:18Did you have something to do with this?
08:20Uh, gotta go.
08:21Run away, run away, run away, run away.
08:23I don't know.
08:24I was sitting there and then, poof, there's another me.
08:27And at first I'm like, this totally creeps me out.
08:29But then I'm like, hey, I totally get along with this guy.
08:32Cusco, how do I know which one's really you?
08:35Easy.
08:36I named him Brad.
08:37Say hello, Brad.
08:38Hello, Brad.
08:39Ha ha.
08:40That's funny, because it's the kind of joke I would make.
08:43Was Cronk here?
08:44I just saw Cronk running down the...
08:47Hey, Pacha.
08:48This is my new best friend, Brad.
08:50But what's...
08:51I don't know.
08:53But I don't think I can handle two of them.
08:55Uh-huh.
08:56Uh-huh.
08:57Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
08:59I don't believe it.
09:00Yet here he is, Mr. Dowdy McDowderin.
09:03In the flesh.
09:04My best friend, Brad Bolama.
09:07How's it going, Mr. M?
09:08Cusco, isn't it a bit odd that he looks just like you
09:11and sounds just like you and acts just like you?
09:14Hello.
09:15That's part of his super coolness.
09:17Here, watch our secret best friend handshake we made up.
09:25Not so secret now that you've shown the entire class.
09:28Hmm.
09:29Don't you think the new guy looks exactly like Cusco?
09:32Weird.
09:33Well, how would I know?
09:34I don't know anything about it.
09:36Certainly doesn't have anything to do with Yzma.
09:38I mean, I don't keep track of every little thing she does.
09:42Hmm.
09:43Where is she right now?
09:44Well, let's see, 10 o'clock hair, 10.30 nails,
09:4611 o'clock anti-wrinkle treatment.
09:48I mean, I don't know.
09:52Hey, little mistake.
09:54This is my locker.
09:55No, it's my locker.
09:57Yeah, right.
09:58Then how come my name...
10:02Uh, your name is on everything.
10:07Hey, do you guys hear the one about the little girl whose llama took her dolly?
10:11She yelled, give me back my dolly, llama.
10:16Yeah, I love that one.
10:17Right.
10:18Yeah.
10:19Way to steal a punchline, Brad.
10:22Okay.
10:23Oh, hey, how many Yzmas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10:27None, because she turned it into a llama.
10:31That's funny.
10:32Guys, it's true.
10:33Okay.
10:37I shot a llama in my poncho.
10:39What he was doing in my poncho, I'll never know.
10:44Well, that's not funny at all, Cusco.
10:46Injuring an innocent llama, where's the humor in that?
10:49Pitiful.
10:51But, come on, it's funny, right?
10:55It's funny, right?
11:10Well, actually...
11:11Good, because Brad's like...
11:13Ugh, how can I describe this?
11:15You know, it's like he's got a steering wheel thingy, and he's using it to take me somewhere that's kooky and wacko-like.
11:21Am I making sense?
11:22Brad's driving you crazy.
11:23Right.
11:24Taking my locker, using my jokes.
11:25It's like he's got some kind of evil plan to take over my life and ruin it.
11:29So, uh, how about you and me walk back to the village?
11:32I'll carry your books.
11:34Halfway.
11:35Hey, Melina.
11:36Got your books?
11:37You ready to head on back to the village?
11:39Um, I thought it was you.
11:42Hey, ya best friend.
11:43We need to talk.
11:45Will you excuse us for a minute?
11:47Two questions.
11:48What do you think you're doing, and...
11:50Uh, okay, just one question.
11:52Melina's such a hottie, hot hottie, I even made up a song about her.
11:56You wanna hear it?
11:57No, no, no singing.
11:58And you no thinky that.
11:59Only I thinky hottie.
12:01But we share everything, right?
12:03We're best friends.
12:04I thought you were my best friend, but you're really just a friend stealer.
12:08So you can just go find another best friend somewhere else.
12:11What are you saying?
12:12That our friendship's over?
12:13That I'm yesterday's news?
12:14Don't call me, I'll call you.
12:15I got more.
12:16No, no, couldn't have said it better myself.
12:17So, go on, get out of here.
12:19Bye-bye.
12:21Cusco, are you okay?
12:22I mean, like, what's going on?
12:24What's this story with that Brad guy?
12:26I don't know, I don't wanna talk about it.
12:29So, who's carrying my books?
12:45Hey, you coming in for dinner?
12:46It's a mystery stew night.
12:48Nah, I'm not hungry.
12:51You know, I ran into Melina.
12:54She told me about Brad.
12:56You guys didn't get along so well, huh?
12:58Yeah, some best friend he turned out to be.
13:00Well, friends aren't made overnight, Cusco.
13:02Especially best friends.
13:05What if I paid someone to be my best friend?
13:07Would that work?
13:08Cusco, you earn best friends over time, through trust.
13:12They're friends you can count on, who are always there when you need them.
13:16Well, then I don't need any friends.
13:18Especially best friends.
13:19Because I'm emperor and emperors don't need best friends
13:20because they already have everything they need.
13:23Do you understand what I just said?
13:24I think it made sense.
13:25You said you don't need a best friend.
13:27So, I guess there's nothing else to say.
13:29Good night.
13:42Hey, let me out of here.
13:44Who's that?
13:45Oh, that's me.
13:46Hi, me.
13:49Uh, hi there.
13:51Wow, that last scene didn't have any fun stuff.
13:54At all.
13:55No funny, just depressing.
13:57And that whole friend speech, and then me getting sack-napped.
14:01But you guys are my friends, right?
14:03So, before we go to break, I thought I'd lighten the mood
14:05with a little sing-along karaoke thingy about how great a friend I am.
14:11Okay, so, this is called the Cusco Mambo.
14:14And every time you see the picture of me flash on the little screen, like this,
14:18I want all of you to scream, Cusco!
14:21Okay?
14:22Good, this is gonna be fun.
14:23So, go, go, Cusco Mambo!
14:27Who's the best friend you know?
14:29Cusco!
14:30Who is Malina's beau?
14:32Cusco!
14:33Who has got his own show?
14:34Cusco!
14:35That's me!
14:37Cha-cha-cha!
14:38Okay, now this side of the TV.
14:39Who's the best friend you know?
14:41Cusco!
14:42Okay, now this side.
14:43Who is Malina's beau?
14:44Okay, now everybody!
14:45Who has got his own show?
14:46Cusco!
14:47That's me!
14:53Cha-cha-cha!
14:56So, this is where we started.
14:58I was sack-napped by Yzma,
15:00and now I'm hanging here on the wall in her secret lab
15:03with no best friend.
15:06Meanwhile, Brad has convinced everyone that he is me,
15:09and Yzma's commanded him to ruin my perfect C-minus average.
15:17Today in gym class,
15:19table!
15:43Oh, look at these pitiful grades.
15:45Because clone's failing so bad,
15:47he got a G-minus.
15:49Say, Yzma, aren't you, uh,
15:52sitting at Principal Amzy's desk?
15:54Kronk, don't you remember?
15:57I am Principal Amzy!
15:59Wow, that's a good trick.
16:01Do another one.
16:02Ugh, like what?
16:03Circus clown! Circus clown!
16:08Now be a funny guard thing.
16:12Here's a hard one.
16:13See monster in a top hat playing a tuba.
16:20Lady, you are good.
16:22Yes, but here's the outfit I'll soon be wearing.
16:25Empress Yzma!
16:37So, you hungry?
16:39Not really, had a big breakfast.
16:41Because I was thinking about heading over to Mudka's.
16:43Mudka's always good.
16:45You go on, I'll hold down the fort.
16:47There's something going on, Mr. Moldwacko.
16:49Even Kuzco isn't this dumb.
16:51Hmm, yes, he did answer maybe to all the true and false questions.
16:56Usually he just cheats off you.
16:58And did you notice he appears to be shrinking?
17:01Hey you, hey too.
17:03Ladies.
17:04Kronk.
17:07Ah, Molina!
17:08What's going on, Kronk?
17:09It's Mango Madness Day in the cafeteria.
17:12No, I'm talking about the incredible shrinking Kuzco.
17:15Yeah, I don't know anything about that.
17:17First, there was one Kuzco.
17:19Then, there were two Kuzcos.
17:20Now we're back to the one high-pitched miniature Kuzco.
17:23Well, that's strange.
17:24The cloning potion was only supposed to...
17:26I mean, I didn't mention a cloning potion.
17:29A potion used to clone Kuzco.
17:30Kuzco cloning potion?
17:31Yeah, that potion.
17:32Do you also not know where the real Kuzco is?
17:36Who's the best friend you know?
17:38Kuzco.
17:39Who is Molina's beau?
17:41Kuzco.
17:43Who has got his own show?
17:45Kuzco, that's me.
17:48Cha, cha, cha.
17:50Oh.
17:51Kuzco.
17:52Kuzco.
17:53Kuzco, where are you?
17:54Who?
17:55What?
17:56Molina?
17:57And Pacha?
17:58And Kronk?
17:59What are you guys doing here?
18:00We're here to get you out of this mess.
18:02That's what friends do.
18:03You know, sometimes I help you get in them,
18:05but Molina made me feel all guilty,
18:07so I thought I'd help you get out of one for a change.
18:10You mean, you three came to rescue me?
18:17Gotcha.
18:18Now what?
18:20We tripped the alarm.
18:23Looks pretty bad.
18:25Except what's up with the bug and the monkey?
18:27If you figure it out, let me know.
18:29Come on, let's get out of here!
18:53Whoa!
19:06Yzma's gonna make me rebuild all that, I know it.
19:09And where do you think you're going?
19:12Well, are you going to answer?
19:17Where are you going?
19:19Oh, sorry.
19:20We thought it was maybe a rhetorical question.
19:22Yeah, she's standing there looking all scary and all.
19:24Yeah, it's kind of confusing.
19:25Yeah, we didn't think you wanted us to answer, so.
19:27Well, where are you going?
19:29Okay, uh, we're going to get a burger over at Mutka's Meat Hut.
19:33You want to come with?
19:34Nah, I was just there.
19:36I'm not going.
19:38Mutka's Meat Hut. You want to come with?
19:40Nah, I was just there.
19:41Maybe I'll catch up with you later.
19:43Okay, sounds good.
19:44Come on by if you want.
19:46Wow, I can't believe you guys did that.
19:49For me.
19:50Hey, if you're going to fail, we want you to do it yourself.
19:53Yeah, what are friends for?
19:55Wait a minute.
19:57You guys are my friends, aren't you?
19:59You were there when I needed you, and I can really count on you.
20:02Hey, you're my best friends!
20:04Oh, I'm going to write a new paper, and I'm going to call it...
20:06Melina, Pacha, and Kronk, My Real Super Cool Best Friends by Guzko.
20:14Melina, Pacha, and Kronk are my real super cool best friends.
20:20The end.
20:25Well, it won't win any literary awards, but it's to the point.
20:29By the way, what happened to that bold Brad Blomma guy?
20:37Oh, I've got to try and perfect that cloning potion.
20:41What for? I can still pull it off.
20:43Boom, bam!
20:46Is it me, or are you getting bigger?
20:48Hey, do I sound funny to you?