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~~~~~
Video Information: 06.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ How to not feel betrayed?
~ Why do humans lie to one another?
~ Who is the real soulmate?
~ How can I escape the influence of others?
~ How to stay away from unworthy people?
~ How to forgive and forget?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
~~~~~
Video Information: 06.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ How to not feel betrayed?
~ Why do humans lie to one another?
~ Who is the real soulmate?
~ How can I escape the influence of others?
~ How to stay away from unworthy people?
~ How to forgive and forget?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00What do you mean? So I'm like very intrigued to know who do you think a real soulmate is?
00:08Like nowadays I have known people love talking about like he's my soulmate or like she's
00:13my soulmate and stuff like that. But I wonder how they're like very sure that the partner
00:18they are with is their soulmate. So I would really love to know who do you think the real
00:24soulmate is? Like what do you think the term soulmate means?
00:30It merely means you know somebody is still half asleep, you need to throw some water
00:41on their face. What is the soul in the first place? What do you mean by soul? The soul
00:55is a concept in the mind. What is the mind? The seat of all experience. So your existence
01:07is basically the existence of the mind. Where is all this seeing, listening, experiencing
01:15taking place? That place is called the mind. So that place has a lot of thoughts and ideas.
01:23The mind has a lot of thoughts and ideas. Soul is an idea, a concept in the mind. And
01:31the mind has varying levels of qualities. You can have a mind of a very fallen level,
01:44you can have a mind of a mediocre level and you could have an excellent mind. So soul
01:50is an idea that exists only in mediocre minds. In realized minds there is nothing called
02:01the soul. There is the mind, you know there is just the mind. If the soul is just the
02:11mind then what does soulmate mean? It simply means mindmate. And what is the mind? If it
02:20harbors the idea of soul, we said it must be a mediocre mind. If it is harboring concepts
02:25like the soul. So then mindmate would mean somebody so mediocre that he chooses to mate
02:37a mediocre mind. Are you getting it? If you are someone who subscribes to silly ideas
02:50like soulmate, then you will get a soulmate who is equally silly to subscribe to similarly
02:58silly ideas. So who you are is what you get. So you already believed in stupid things like
03:08soulmate and then you will get somebody equally silly, he will come and say I also believe
03:12in similar things and the two of you will just get together and produce kids who will
03:17be even more advanced in their levels. We get so carried away by the hormonal rush that
03:44we just don't stop to ask ourselves what is really going on? What is going on? What are
03:53these thoughts I have started patronizing? What ideas have I started believing in? Where are they
04:01coming from? Did I think of these things since birth or since childhood? No. Somebody inserted
04:11these ideas. Somebody very steely placed these ideas in my mind. Who was it? What are the source
04:23of these ideas? And once you see where these things are coming from, you start knowing that
04:30these are all very very foreign, foreign not in terms of other countries, foreign in terms of not
04:35being you. The society, the world has placed all these things in your mind and we were not
04:43discreet enough, not careful enough. We were not attentive enough to not to allow such things to
04:51enter. First of all there is a society outside so ever ready to condition you and then there is the
05:00body in the hormonal stage when you are growing up, when you are a teenager and you are so ready.
05:24There is something within crying for experience and the fantastic notion that great happiness can
05:36be had through experience that's called romance. Cultivating fantastic images of experience that's
05:45called romance. That's a very definition of romance. So these two things then go hand in
05:53hand. One thing aggravates the effect of the other thing. Which two things? The bodily condition,
06:02there is a hormonal rush and the effect of the society and these two things get together to make
06:12you believe in stuff like soulmate and so all that is quite silly. You see if I look at it from
06:23another angle, we are born mated. To be mated is to be wedded or coupled to something right. To be
06:37very closely joined to something is called being mated right. So when the kid is born,
06:43please see the kid is already coupled with so many things. The kid is wedded to ignorance,
06:54to fear, to greed. Is it not? Please see. How intelligent is the kid? So the kid is wedded
07:05to ignorance. How discreet is the kid? How much in control or command is the kid? So the kid is
07:15wedded to helplessness. We are already born mated. The purpose of life therefore is not to search
07:26for another mate called the soulmate. The purpose of life is to demate. Every girl when she is born,
07:37she already has a thousand husbands and when the boy is born, he already has a thousand wives. The
07:45purpose of life is to separate from each of these and their numbers are staggeringly large, thousand.
07:52So it takes a lot to divorce them one after the other. That's the purpose of life. That's what
07:59entire self-knowledge is about. So you are already born wedded and mated and then you want to add
08:06another one to the list. How wise is that? You already have so many things inside you that you
08:14call your own right. Now you want to have another fellow that you want to call your own boyfriend or
08:20husband. But you already had so many things that you called your own, your name, your gender, your
08:26religion, your education, your parents, your property, your thoughts, your opinions, your
08:31feelings, your wardrobe. You are already calling these your own, your experiences, your friends.
08:38You are already calling these your own, your thoughts, your emotions. You are already calling
08:43these your own. The fact is none of these is really your own. So what is the purpose of life? To add
08:49another one to the list of these things that you call your own? No. That would be stupid and
08:56meaningless and also useless because you know when you will be adding another one to that list,
09:03the decision to choose that particular one will be coming from stuff that is not really your own.
09:10For example, if your thoughts and emotions are not your own, are your decisions your own? Please
09:18tell me. If your thoughts, decisions, ideas are not your own, then your decisions cannot be your
09:23own. Then the decision to have a soulmate, even that will not be your own. So this soulmate will
09:31not be your own. Just as the hundred other things, the hundred prior things are not your own. So
09:38pointless going for this soulmate or whatever it is. First thing, unmate or demate, decouple.
09:47The purpose of life is not to add to an ever-growing list of your associations and
09:54attachments and identities. The purpose of life is a restoration, a revert to your pristine,
10:03pure self. And when you are that, then you have beautiful relationships. In your aloneness,
10:12in your solitary completeness, you get the power to have clean, pure, wonderful relationships.
10:24And the name for such relationships then is love. There is no love in the soulmate business,
10:33love is there when you have relationships that come out of your solitary completeness.
10:42I'm not dying to be welded to someone. I'm great, complete and beautiful in my aloneness. Now,
11:00when you relate to someone, there is no exploitation, no violence, no hunger or
11:07thirst in the relationship. Now the relationship is like a beautiful duet. The two singers are
11:18capable of producing a great song alone and when they get together, the combination is beautiful.
11:27That does not mean that they cannot have beauty in their own alone respective spheres. They are
11:35already beautiful. Are you getting it? Yes. Sir, do you think social media is a kind of a part of
11:49the core and thing which is convincing us to do this stuff? Like what you said soulmate.
11:54Where did you first find me, if at all? Social media. So it depends on you. You can look for
12:05a soulmate on social media or you can be unfortunate enough to stumble on somebody
12:12like me on social media. So it depends on you what you want to use social media for. Social
12:22media represents the entire universe. Everybody is there. All influences can be found there. The
12:29worst kind of stinking garbage is there on social media and the most beautiful kind of pearls are
12:36also there. It's just that 99.9% is garbage. So you have to be a lover of pearls to really
12:45dig out the real thing. Thank you. Tanvi, you can ask your follow up. Okay, thank you. Sir,
13:07you have said that sub-purpose of life that to unmute everything. So at last,
13:13what will be mine in this world? Because at the end, I will be empty. I'll unmute my experience.
13:21I'll unmute everything from my life. Then what is mine exactly at the end? Tanvi, by the frequency
13:33of your questions, you will receive instant liberation this evening itself. And that is
13:39dangerous. You have asked the final question. When everything is gone, what remains? When
13:48everything is gone, even this questioner is gone. And so this question too is gone. What remains?
13:56Just completeness, just peace, total realization in which you are free to fly,
14:02free to enjoy, just freedom, just freedom. Sir, at this age, at this point of time,
14:10I'm not able to get any type of solitary complete just like you. You know that, right?
14:17As long as you call your age your own, there is no liberation. The age is of your body,
14:26not of your consciousness. So you are identifying with your body and your gender and the lifespan,
14:33and that does not bode well for liberation. So it's not that you have to worry about the
14:42ultimate state. You start taking baby steps. You see what your major obstacles and bondages are
14:51and challenge them with courage. Do not worry too much about what will happen in the future.
14:57And of course, do not try to speculate about the end state. There is nothing called an end state.
15:04Your purpose in life currently as a brave girl with a verve to live is to identify where your weaknesses are,
15:18where your fears are, and boldly challenge them.
15:25Okay, thank you.
15:26Yes.
15:27Sir, as people are so keen, so keenly interested to be like committed to someone,
15:35what I have experienced is when you get committed to someone, your emotions get dependent on them,
15:41like their positivity as well as negativity get transferred to you.
15:46How to overcome that dependency, like how to overcome that feeling?
15:51You are saying you want to stay committed and yet not have the other influence you?
15:56Like might be positive influence but not the negative one, like if the person…
16:03It's not like that. What you are saying is that you want to stay within sniffing distance of someone,
16:12but you want to smell only their aroma and not their stink.
16:17That's not possible.
16:18But Sir, sometimes that negativity like causes you some harm, like you are not able to focus on your life or your classes.
16:28See kid, it depends on the foundation of the relationship.
16:32It depends on what keeps the two people together.
16:36I wish I am totally wrong, but in 99.9999999999999% of the time,
16:4599.9999999999% cases, what keeps the two people together is just the bodily drive.
16:54Nothing else.
16:55On top of the bodily thing, you can have emotions, you can have experiences, you can have this
16:59and that.
17:00But the bedrock is simply sexual.
17:03And when the two of you have been brought together by your genitals, which is the blunt
17:07and ugly truth.
17:09Then you have already not cared for the higher things in life.
17:16Now why do you want to demand the higher things in life?
17:31You see, after you are married, you say, you know, I return home from my workplace and
17:43I'm a professor or a manager in some financial services firm.
17:50And I want to discuss accounts, economics, finance with my wife.
17:55But she does not understand anything.
17:59All she talks of is some nonsensical stuff.
18:05And we could reverse the genders here.
18:09The wife comes back from her workplace and she wants to talk about politics or sports
18:15or literature.
18:20And the husband says, no, I'm interested only in some bodily stuff.
18:26Now, do either of these have the right to complain when you were choosing your wife?
18:33Did you first of all test her on her knowledge of economics?
18:38Then you tested her only on her figure.
18:43See, you can poke holes in my theory and I'll coolly say, fine, I'm wrong.
18:50If that helps you, or you could try to understand what I'm pointing at.
18:55I have, I have zero urge to be proven right.
19:01My purpose is to help you not to be proven right.
19:10So now you are saying my wife does not understand economics.
19:14If you wanted a wife who could understand economics, you should have first of all kept
19:19economics as the foundation of your relationship.
19:23Or you should have kept wisdom as the foundation of your relationship.
19:27But at that time, only hormones are the foundation of the relationship.
19:31In fact, they always are.
19:32You might marry even at the age of 40, still it is hormonal business.
19:36And there are people who marry at the age of 80, still it is hormonal business.
19:41From first breath till the last, it is just hormonal business.
19:45So once you have brought home a wife or a husband like that, how can you complain now?
19:53It's like bringing home a two wheeler and then complaining that it does not have a reverse
20:03gear.
20:05Sir, you loved the two wheels when you first looked at them and you fell in love and you
20:14said these two wheels are what I want to bring home.
20:16And now you are saying there is no reverse gear.
20:19If you really wanted a reverse gear, then you should have said four wheels, not two.
20:26So this positivity and negativity that you are talking of, these things should be kept
20:31in mind at the time when you enter into the relationship.
20:39Not later on.
20:40When you look at a girl, don't just look at her as a piece of flesh.
20:45Same applies to girls.
20:47When you look at a boy, don't look at her as just a body.
20:52Look at the entire being.
20:54Ask yourself what is it that I am really looking for.
20:59Have a dialogue with yourself.
21:00Have a continuous dialogue with yourself.
21:03What is the purpose of life?
21:06If I am inviting somebody into my life and that fellow will be around me for long hours
21:10every day.
21:13What is the quality of the person that I want?
21:17Because it's a very, it's a very, very important decision it is.
21:26When that fellow is afar, it looks like some kind of a video game chasing that person and
21:35getting that person's consent and all those things.
21:39But once that person enters your life, it's a 24-hour thing.
21:45And if you miss sending him or her a good night message, you know you will not have
21:51a good morning.
21:53See, you are smiling now.
21:57You know what I mean.
21:59We all have been sufferers alike.
22:08So when you enter into the relationship, you must know this is what you are signing up
22:14for.
22:17And once you have seen the entire gamut of it, you must also ask her political views.
22:24You must also ask whether she understands any bit of history.
22:29And if you are a girl, then you must ask the boy, had I had some other kind of shape and
22:35figure, would you have still come to me?
22:39Try to discuss the really important things with your boy or man.
22:46When you sit with him, discuss climate change.
22:51But that fellow, the only change he wants to discuss is change of clothes.
23:01Why are you with such a boy?
23:02Kick him away.
23:09Later on, then you say, oh, you know, she is such a headache or he is such a rascal.
23:16Who invited them in?
23:19Where was all your discretion?
23:22Where was all wisdom when you were clamoring for that person?
23:30That's why it is very important that life education is a central part of school and
23:37college syllabi.
23:41Because that's the age when you make your most important decisions, the decision to
23:45pursue a line in academics, the decision to take up a career stream and the decision
23:53to enter into a relationship.
23:57Have I disappointed you?
24:03This is not the answer you wanted.
24:06No sir.