Its a Grand Life. (1953 film)

deaddogsmoking

Classic British comedy following an accident-prone army Private, as he attempts to rescue a Corporal from the attentions of a predatory Sergeant-Major.  Frank Randle ... Pvt. Randle Diana Dors ... Cpl. Paula Clements Dan Young ... Pvt. Young Michael Brennan ... Sgt. Maj. O'Reilly Jennifer Jayne ... Pvt. Desmond John Blythe ... Pvt. Philip Green Anthony Hulme ... Capt. Saunders Charles Peters ... Pvt. Rubenstein Arthur White ... Pvt. Prendergast Leslie Gould   Kevin Peters   Ian Fleming ... Mr. Clements Ruth Taylor ... Mrs. Clements Jack Pye ... Self - Wrestler Bill Garnon ... Self - Wrestler (as Bill Gernon) Cab Cashford ... Self - Wrestler Carl Van Wurden ... Self - Wrestler Winifred Atwell ... Self - Guest Artiste George Jackson ... Jeep Driver Peter Mullings ... Dance Hall Manager  Directed by John E. Blakeley

Transcript

00:00:00This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

00:00:30This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

00:01:00This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

00:01:30This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

00:02:00This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

00:02:31Oh, dear. Hello, chum.

00:02:33Hiya.

00:02:34You've been enjoying yourself, haven't you?

00:02:35Enjoying themselves? I think he has.

00:02:37He only did a couple of smashing robberies while he's been away.

00:02:40What's his job in the army?

00:02:41Motor transport. I pinched a lorry when I deserted last time. Boy, how she flew.

00:02:44Ah.

00:02:45Might have known I was on the run.

00:02:46Ah, well, you'll be quite all right. You won't pinch any more for a long time.

00:02:49Why, how long do you think I'll get?

00:02:50How long have you been away?

00:02:51Nearly six months.

00:02:52Six months.

00:02:53Six months. Come on.

00:02:55I'll have a good stock of drink on the way down.

00:02:57A drink? A drink?

00:02:58An old drink for you today?

00:02:59I've got a face of dough, lad.

00:03:00Oh.

00:03:01I've got the money.

00:03:02Ah, that's different.

00:03:03Oh, yes.

00:03:04I know a lovely place. The mine is out.

00:03:05The mine is out?

00:03:06And a drum bar made of oxygen.

00:03:07Right.

00:03:08Keep an eye on him.

00:03:09Yes.

00:03:29Hello.

00:03:30Hello.

00:03:31Nice day?

00:03:32Very.

00:03:33Who are you?

00:03:34I'm Peter.

00:03:35Ah.

00:03:36Yes, Peter.

00:03:37Yes.

00:03:38How can I help you?

00:03:39Hello.

00:03:40Hello.

00:03:41Come in.

00:03:42Yes, this way.

00:03:43I've got a gift for you.

00:03:44Ah.

00:03:45Can I have it?

00:03:46Yes, go ahead.

00:03:47Good.

00:03:48Thank you.

00:03:49Thank you.

00:03:50Thanks.

00:03:51Thank you.

00:03:52Good day.

00:03:53Good day.

00:03:54Have a nice day.

00:03:55Thank you.

00:03:56Have a nice day.

00:03:57Good day.

00:03:58I'll have a bitter. A pint.

00:04:00A bitter. I'll have a pint.

00:04:02I'll have a bitter. Four pints of bitter,

00:04:04a glass of fish hooks, a small wardrobe

00:04:06and the rest of the barnage apron.

00:04:08Who wants a woodbine, lads? No, thanks, not for me.

00:04:10No? Yes, please.

00:04:12All the same size? I think so. Thanks.

00:04:14Nice place, isn't it? Not bad.

00:04:16You started dinner, wasn't you? About six months ago.

00:04:18Six months, eh? Could have cost a bit of money.

00:04:20Say, boys, did you hear the story about the two butterflies

00:04:22who went to a dance, but they wouldn't let them in?

00:04:24Why not? It was a mothball.

00:04:27I'll have it neat, if you don't mind.

00:04:32Good girl, mate.

00:04:34Those old cocks in the corner used to be very good

00:04:36at trimming yarns, didn't they?

00:04:38Oh, aye, all round for these maids.

00:04:40Have they been in lately? No, not for a while.

00:04:42There's one about 95 and the other about 92. Really?

00:04:44Aye, as deaf as a post.

00:04:46Cheers. Cheers. All the best.

00:04:48Remember that day I saw you down?

00:04:50That day I was in and one said to the other, he says,

00:04:52You see, as to here Cyrus has lost his boat.

00:04:56He says, ey, as to here Cyrus has lost his boat.

00:05:00He says, he's cut his throat.

00:05:02He says, what?

00:05:04He says, he's cut his throat.

00:05:06He says, no, he's lost his boat.

00:05:08Oh? Aye.

00:05:10He says, has he cut his but?

00:05:12He says, naw, he's cut it blasted head off.

00:05:16I'll have to get rid of that bulldog of mine.

00:05:18Oh, no wonder.

00:05:20About time. Fierce?

00:05:22Fierce. No, no, not half.

00:05:24What about that day I rushed round here, grabbed my leg and...

00:05:28I couldn't get it off. He couldn't, mate. He'd had no tea.

00:05:30No, but it'd give me a nasty soak.

00:05:34Excuse me a minute, lads.

00:05:36That's a good idea.

00:05:40It's quiet in here today, isn't it? Very quiet.

00:05:42You've got no television? I've got one in the kitchen.

00:05:45Oh, so she's the one with the tampon.

00:05:48Very good. What make is it?

00:05:51I think it was made by the Argento Meat Company. We use it as a fridge.

00:05:56Do you fancy a game? Yes, I don't mind.

00:05:58Is it all right? Yes, sir.

00:06:00I'll have four more pints, landlord.

00:06:02I didn't expect to see you fellas here. No, I didn't expect to see you.

00:06:06We always come here, you know.

00:06:08We'll have one. I don't mind.

00:06:10A pint. A pint and a half will do for you, won't it?

00:06:13Another pint and a half, landlord, please.

00:06:16Hello. Hey!

00:06:18A funny thing happened to me. I can see that.

00:06:21I was coming down the street and a little kid came up to me.

00:06:24He says, what time is it? Seven three.

00:06:26How much? Seven three.

00:06:28All right. No, no, no.

00:06:30No, I...

00:06:32Thank you, Mr. Rockefeller.

00:06:34Thanks, Mr. Rockefeller.

00:06:37I was coming down the street and a little kid came up to me.

00:06:40He says, what time is it? I says, a quarter to four.

00:06:42He says, when it gets four o'clock, get your hair cut.

00:06:45Oh! Oh!

00:06:47Oh, no, no. Never mind. Don't bother.

00:06:50What's up? He...

00:06:52Why not? Let him go on his own. He's all right.

00:06:55Think so? He'll come back. Don't worry.

00:06:57I hope so. Of course, yes.

00:06:59I'm going to hop in on something.

00:07:15I hope he hasn't scarpered.

00:07:17Oh! What did I tell you? He has.

00:07:19He's gone. He's left.

00:07:21Oh, what a dirty thing. A filthy mouse.

00:07:24I told you. I told you. I told you.

00:07:26You didn't tell me I told you.

00:07:28Oh, have you had a good sleep?

00:07:30I mean, have you seen a man in a seat?

00:07:32No, we've lost our poor peep.

00:07:34He's gone. What are you talking about?

00:07:36Listen, I'll explain. We had a prisoner, but we haven't now. He's gone.

00:07:39He's going back to camp, you see. Oh, I see.

00:07:41We've lost our poor peep. He's gone.

00:07:43He's going back to camp, you see. Oh, I see.

00:07:45I'll phone the station. Thanks, sir.

00:07:47Oh, he's here. He's here.

00:07:49That's him. That's him.

00:07:51It looks like him. It's him.

00:07:54Hey! Hey! Hey!

00:07:56Stop! Come here!

00:07:58Come here! Hey!

00:08:02Hey! Hey! Where did you get this jeep from?

00:08:04It belongs to our camp. It does not.

00:08:06Oh, yes, it does. This is an armoured jeep.

00:08:08It was. It was until I bought it.

00:08:10Where did you buy it? He bought it off that deserter.

00:08:12Come on, let's have a look.

00:08:14It's quite right. It's a private jeep for a private number.

00:08:16Is it? Yes. All right.

00:08:19Well, in that case, I'll accept your apology.

00:08:21That's all right. That's all right, boys.

00:08:23That's all right.

00:08:42We're going to have tea out here. Yes.

00:08:44Okay.

00:09:12Tea for two, please. Thank you.

00:09:14Kilt? Getting near the camp now, aren't we?

00:09:16Yes, it's over there, about a mile along.

00:09:19That's where we're supposed to report.

00:09:21We haven't reported yet.

00:09:23You know, I don't feel like spending all my Sunday there,

00:09:26especially when I'm so near home.

00:09:28Couldn't you get leave of absence?

00:09:30Until I delivered this truck.

00:09:32Anyway, how would I get home?

00:09:34Walk, I suppose. It's about 18 miles.

00:09:37You know, there'd be a lot of trouble

00:09:39if you didn't report today.

00:09:41Yes, but there wouldn't be if we stuck to a story.

00:09:46Now, listen. We had engine trouble on the road,

00:09:48so we had to put up somewhere.

00:09:50Got it? Right.

00:10:11Would you girls be after going to the camp?

00:10:13I could do with a lift.

00:10:15Oh, I'm sorry. I've got an assignment

00:10:17a few miles beyond the camp.

00:10:19Oh, I see.

00:10:21Oh, no, it's not what you think.

00:10:23It's just a matter of time.

00:10:25I'll be back.

00:10:27I'll be back.

00:10:29I'll be back.

00:10:31I'll be back.

00:10:33I'll be back.

00:10:36I'll be back.

00:10:38I'll be back.

00:10:40Oh, no, it's not what you think.

00:10:42My home's there.

00:10:44Well, perhaps there'll be another transport along soon.

00:10:46I hope so. Sorry I couldn't oblige.

00:10:48Bye now.

00:10:50I hope he doesn't report us if he sees us at the camp.

00:10:52Why should he?

00:10:54Well, he's a sergeant major.

00:10:56What? Didn't you see his crown?

00:10:58No. Well, I did.

00:11:00Anyway, let's go. It's getting late.

00:11:03Okay.

00:11:10Oh, my God.

00:11:40MORNING OF JANUARY 26

00:12:02Now, then, Private Randall, what are you to say

00:12:04about this deserter Barnes getting away and stealing the army jeep

00:12:06of which you were in charge?

00:12:08I said, what about this deserter Barnes who got away and stole the army jeep of which you were in charge?

00:12:14Oh, yes, a very, very bad show, sir.

00:12:17You see, it's very, very difficult because the chap who told me to back it, he must have been daft or something.

00:12:22Quiet, please.

00:12:22Stand to attention!

00:12:23Yes, I am.

00:12:24What are you talking about?

00:12:24I am at attention. It's my uniform, Mr. Teague. I beg your pardon, sir.

00:12:27I said, what are you talking about?

00:12:28I don't know, sir. He keeps interrupting me, sir.

00:12:30Be quiet and behave yourself.

00:12:31Will you have a word with mine, sir?

00:12:33Is this man mad?

00:12:34Put that away!

00:12:35Mind your own business.

00:12:37I'm talking to the corporal, not you.

00:12:39Sorry, copper.

00:12:42What about Barnes?

00:12:43Ah, that's what we all ought to know, isn't it?

00:12:45Yes, he's opted. I don't blame him.

00:12:47I mean to say, he's gone, you see, sir.

00:12:48And this dog came out a number of feet, sir.

00:12:50What about Barnes?

00:12:52Ah, Barnes, you see.

00:12:54Yes, well, what about him, sir?

00:12:55Do you know?

00:12:57No, never mind.

00:12:57It doesn't matter.

00:12:58Well, his wife, you see, is terrible.

00:13:00He had four children, sir.

00:13:02Four. All four of them.

00:13:03One either a boy or a child, I'm not quite sure.

00:13:05And his wife, very, very unfortunate.

00:13:08Nasty operation, sir, she's had.

00:13:09For rubbing stones, er, slop stones.

00:13:12I think it's a gall stone.

00:13:13Oh, have you seen a gall stone?

00:13:14Excuse me, sir.

00:13:15Ah, look here.

00:13:16Ah, that one.

00:13:18Ah, I'll draw you a chicken.

00:13:20Yes, sir.

00:13:22Don't you want a chicken, sir?

00:13:24What about Barnes?

00:13:25Yes, well...

00:13:26Nobody to look after the children?

00:13:28Who?

00:13:29Barnes' children.

00:13:30Oh, yes, Barnes. He had some children.

00:13:32There's no one there at all.

00:13:33You told me there were four children.

00:13:34Yes, four. Yes, four.

00:13:35Yes, there were three and another.

00:13:37And, er, the other had no roost to the mouth.

00:13:39Er, no roost.

00:13:40Nothing to eat but coal, sir.

00:13:41Had he no friends to look after them?

00:13:43Well, they were away, sir, abroad.

00:13:44A witness, I think, sir.

00:13:46Er, awful place, I believe.

00:13:47I haven't been there for a long...

00:13:48Had his wife no parents?

00:13:50She never had any as far as I know, sir.

00:13:52I think she must...

00:13:53She could have had a mother.

00:13:54But, you see, she was bereft, you see.

00:13:56She was what?

00:13:57Did I say that?

00:13:58Yes, on her mother's side.

00:13:59From her father's side.

00:14:00Aunt Emily, er, something.

00:14:02Er, she was a...

00:14:03Wipe your nose!

00:14:04You wipe it, you're nearer to it than I am.

00:14:06Quiet!

00:14:07So she was an orphan?

00:14:08Er, so I'm led to believe, sir.

00:14:09Oh, by the way, er,

00:14:10Private Barnes gave this to me, sir.

00:14:13What's this?

00:14:13A piece of wood.

00:14:14What's it for?

00:14:15Not a word!

00:14:16Thank you.

00:14:16Quite.

00:14:17Yes, sir.

00:14:17And, er, he also gave me this photograph, sir.

00:14:20Horrible, isn't it?

00:14:21Hmm.

00:14:22Er, it looks better the other way up, you know.

00:14:25That's right.

00:14:26Ah, certainly lovely children.

00:14:28Ah, it's a tragedy.

00:14:29That's the penalty of getting married too young.

00:14:30Yes, but evidently he's had his moments, sir.

00:14:33Ha ha!

00:14:33Mr. Pending asked.

00:14:34Er, good morning.

00:14:35Oh, and how do you do?

00:14:36How do you find yourself this morning?

00:14:37Oh, I just found myself quite as usual.

00:14:39One hour mad and I found myself in bed.

00:14:41Ha ha!

00:14:42Have you brought these for me?

00:14:43Er, just a moment, don't interrupt.

00:14:44That's quite right.

00:14:45We're in conference, yes.

00:14:46And, er, tell me, guess.

00:14:47How is that, tell me, son, if you're...

00:14:49Give me those things!

00:14:50All out!

00:14:51Oh, very well.

00:14:52Excuse me for a moment, it's rather important.

00:14:53Er...

00:14:55Well.

00:14:55Hello, yes, I wish to speak to...

00:14:57Hello.

00:14:57No, I want to enquire if his wife has any more repercussions...

00:15:00Put that down!

00:15:01Oh, if you don't wish to know...

00:15:02All out!

00:15:03All out? He's almost falling out.

00:15:04Oh.

00:15:05Couldn't he walk out in the usual manner?

00:15:06Oh, why shouldn't he, yes.

00:15:07Quite.

00:15:08That's right, well.

00:15:08Read his case.

00:15:09Yes.

00:15:09Well, I hope they won't be too severe upon you.

00:15:11I'm going.

00:15:11Get out!

00:15:12This is a case for Donny Plossy-Kai, yes.

00:15:13Yes, and...

00:15:14I'm going, sir.

00:15:14Can I walk out?

00:15:15Yes.

00:15:16Go on, yes.

00:15:16Private Randall.

00:15:17Another thing, I'm a sergeant as well.

00:15:19Get out!

00:15:20Yes, yes.

00:15:20Don't be harsh.

00:15:21Private Randall.

00:15:22Sir, yes.

00:15:23Private Barnes, your deserter, was not married.

00:15:30He has a father and mother still living.

00:15:32Well, he doesn't deserve it.

00:15:33That's all I can say.

00:15:34Well, I hope I've done correct in letting him go home with the jeep.

00:15:37And I assure you, he'll be here with the jeep tomorrow, sir.

00:15:39Go on.

00:15:40Take him away, son.

00:15:41Major, I'll deal with him later.

00:15:43He can't stand your attention!

00:15:45At any moment, it's not as important as this.

00:15:46I do wish to thank you very, very much indeed for your kind courtesy.

00:15:49And if I can reciprocate in any small modicum in the future,

00:15:53I certainly will acquiesce.

00:15:55And I'm more than delighted to have met you, sir.

00:15:57Private Randall!

00:15:58Well, thank you.

00:16:00Attention!

00:16:01Right turn!

00:16:02Quick march!

00:16:03Yes.

00:16:04Very nice of you.

00:16:05Good day.

00:16:06Thank you very much indeed.

00:16:07And furthermore, if you need anything, just call on me.

00:16:11It'll be quite all right.

00:16:12Well, we'd better do no more in this case until we hear something from the MP.

00:16:16Yes, I'll do that.

00:16:17And you won't forget, will you?

00:16:19Get out!

00:16:20Yes, of course.

00:16:25I suppose this is where we report.

00:16:26It must be.

00:16:27Look.

00:16:28Isn't that the fellow we refused a lift to?

00:16:30So it is.

00:16:32Corporal Clements and Private Desmond reporting, sir,

00:16:35with General Service Truck 50JA477.

00:16:37All in good order.

00:16:40What's all this?

00:16:41Left number 27 depot on Saturday afternoon at 3 o'clock

00:16:45and only arrived here this morning.

00:16:4742 hours on the road.

00:16:49Well, we had rather a lot of engine trouble.

00:16:51Yes, we did, sir.

00:16:52We had to take the thing nearly to pieces before we could get on.

00:16:55Didn't we?

00:16:56Yes.

00:16:57Now you tell me that it's in good order.

00:16:59Oh, yes.

00:17:00We saw to that.

00:17:01Let's have a look at the number of the truck.

00:17:0450JA477.

00:17:0850JA477.

00:17:11I happen to know that you were within one mile of this camp

00:17:14at 6 o'clock on Saturday evening.

00:17:16Oh, not as near as that, surely.

00:17:18Maybe you've forgotten somebody asking you for a lift.

00:17:21You may not recognize me, but I recognize you.

00:17:24Oh, I thought I knew your face, but I wasn't quite sure.

00:17:28I'm very sorry we didn't give you a lift.

00:17:31Aren't we?

00:17:32Oh, yes, sir.

00:17:33There's been a lot of monkey business about these trucks

00:17:36and it's about time it stopped.

00:17:37How long have you had those stripes?

00:17:39Six months, sir.

00:17:40I'll have them off you in six minutes.

00:17:42And as for you...

00:17:43Oh, it was entirely my fault.

00:17:44I take all the blame.

00:17:47Private Desmond, you can go now.

00:17:49Wait outside in the corridor.

00:17:50Very good, sir.

00:17:51Thank you.

00:17:52Corporal Clements, you've put me in a very awkward position.

00:17:56Not because you didn't give me a lift in your truck,

00:17:59but because I've got a duty to perform.

00:18:01Now, if I deal leniently with you,

00:18:03will you promise not to let me down?

00:18:05Oh, I promise, Major.

00:18:06Then we'll forget the whole thing.

00:18:08Of course, I am taking a bit of a risk,

00:18:10but then I'm not a hard man.

00:18:12Well, I can't thank you enough, sir.

00:18:14Now, you and Private Desmond go off and report to Captain Saunders.

00:18:17That'll be all.

00:18:19Corporal Clements.

00:18:21Corporal Clements.

00:18:22Yes, sir?

00:18:24Do you dance?

00:18:25A little.

00:18:27I happen to have a couple of tickets here

00:18:29for a Red Cross dance tomorrow night.

00:18:32Would you be coming?

00:18:33Oh, really?

00:18:34I dance so badly that I...

00:18:36I think you'll find it more amusing

00:18:38than an interview with the CO.

00:18:40Take your choice.

00:18:43Here's your ticket.

00:18:45Meet me outside ten minutes before it starts.

00:18:48Yes, sir.

00:18:49See you tomorrow.

00:18:50Goodbye now.

00:18:54Could you tell me where the Adjutant's office is, please?

00:18:56Where's what?

00:18:57Adjutant's office.

00:18:58Yes.

00:18:59Is it?

00:19:00I don't know.

00:19:01No, it's here, sir.

00:19:02Here, sir.

00:19:03Oh.

00:19:04Come in.

00:19:10Corporal Clements reporting, sir.

00:19:12Oh, how do you do?

00:19:13I'm Private Desmond, sir.

00:19:14Oh, how do you do?

00:19:15Delighted to meet you both.

00:19:16Oh, so you're reporting, are you?

00:19:20Oh, from Number 27 Depot, I see.

00:19:22How did you get on with Captain Brown there?

00:19:24Oh, he was very charming, wasn't he, Pat?

00:19:26Yes, there was a nice bag of 48s.

00:19:28We had lots of fun there.

00:19:30Swimming, dancing, pictures, tennis.

00:19:32Oh, I play tennis.

00:19:33Really?

00:19:34Do you play?

00:19:35Mmm, love it.

00:19:36Mmm.

00:19:37I think we're going to be all right here.

00:19:39Well, of course, as Adjutant,

00:19:40it's my privilege to make everybody welcome.

00:19:42I hope I shall be as popular as Captain Brown.

00:19:44I'm sure you will.

00:19:47Did you have a good journey?

00:19:48Quite good, yes, thank you.

00:19:49Oh, splendid.

00:19:50I was expecting you.

00:19:51Thought you might drop in on me yesterday.

00:19:53I like to keep my Sundays free, don't you?

00:19:55Oh, we always had Sundays off, sir.

00:19:57Have you got your next Sunday free by any chance?

00:20:00All depends what orders you have for us.

00:20:02Orders?

00:20:03Orders.

00:20:04Oh, yes, of course.

00:20:05I was forgetting.

00:20:06You're expecting some orders from me, aren't you?

00:20:08Business first, pleasure afterwards, eh?

00:20:10Yes, sir.

00:20:11Yes, that's right.

00:20:12Oh, well, report to Transport Office

00:20:14and ask for Sir Raymond.

00:20:15He'll look after you.

00:20:16Thank you very much.

00:20:17Thank you, sir.

00:20:18Good-bye.

00:20:22Yes?

00:20:24Oh, yes.

00:20:25All right, then.

00:20:26I'll make a note of it.

00:20:27Oh, by the way,

00:20:28I'm sending you two charming young ladies over.

00:20:30Yes, Corporal Clements and Private Desmond.

00:20:33They're M.T. drivers.

00:20:35Well, you'll look after them, won't you?

00:20:37All right.

00:20:39Eh, eh, eh.

00:20:44Eh, eh, eh.

00:20:47Eh!

00:20:48Hey, you!

00:20:49Oh, yes, yes!

00:20:50Oh, I'm sorry.

00:20:51Did I frighten you?

00:20:52What a job you're playing at.

00:20:53Could you...?

00:20:54Hey.

00:20:55Are you a captain?

00:20:56I'm what?

00:20:57Are you the captain?

00:20:58No, I'm a submarine commander.

00:20:59Oh, I'm pleased to meet you.

00:21:00Oh, bye.

00:21:01Oh, hello there!

00:21:02Could you tell me where to go to?

00:21:04Yes, I could,

00:21:05but you wouldn't go so far as to say...

00:21:06Oh, yes, yes.

00:21:07But you wouldn't go so far as to say...

00:21:08Yes, I could, but you wouldn't go.

00:21:09No, I want to go too, you know.

00:21:10Oh, I see.

00:21:12No, no, not...

00:21:14Shh!

00:21:15Why?

00:21:16Mind your own business.

00:21:17What do you want?

00:21:18I've come to join up.

00:21:19You've come... You what?

00:21:20Come to join up.

00:21:21Blimey, we've lost.

00:21:22Lost, have we?

00:21:23Well, that's why I'm asking the way to go to.

00:21:24You want to join the army?

00:21:25Ah.

00:21:26You must be blimey.

00:21:27Blimey?

00:21:28Why?

00:21:29Why?

00:21:30You want to join the army?

00:21:31Couldn't you...

00:21:32You could have gone in a coal mine, couldn't you?

00:21:33Me, in a coal mine?

00:21:34Why not?

00:21:35Why not?

00:21:37Well, my mother said I'm not going in a coal mine.

00:21:38I'm not concerned about what your mother says.

00:21:39Well, I am.

00:21:40I've always been an open air.

00:21:41Well, there's thousands of others been in the open air.

00:21:42Well.

00:21:43I've been in the open air.

00:21:44Well.

00:21:45There's as good a man in a coal mine as you anytime.

00:21:46Well, let him stop there.

00:21:47I'm not going.

00:21:48Well, you're not going?

00:21:49No.

00:21:50Why not?

00:21:51Because I'm not.

00:21:52Well, then.

00:21:53Well, then.

00:21:54Well.

00:21:55Let him get their own coal.

00:21:56You what?

00:21:57Yes.

00:21:58Let him get their own coal?

00:21:59Ah.

00:22:00Well, of all the selfish deeds I've ever come across in my life.

00:22:01Why?

00:22:02You'd be willing to warm yourself at the fire in the winter, wouldn't you?

00:22:07I agree with her.

00:22:08With him.

00:22:09With her?

00:22:10With him?

00:22:11What are you talking about?

00:22:12Who are you to chip in?

00:22:13It's got nothing to do with me, has it?

00:22:14Has it?

00:22:15No.

00:22:16Well, then.

00:22:17Why am I taking your part in the debate?

00:22:18You're not taking my part at all.

00:22:19No.

00:22:20Well, then.

00:22:21Tell this letter and bring him up the proper way he should be brought up.

00:22:22His mother doesn't want him to go down the mine.

00:22:23His mother?

00:22:24What do you know about his mother?

00:22:25Nothing.

00:22:26Yet?

00:22:27Not yet.

00:22:28No.

00:22:29What do you mean, not yet, me mother?

00:22:30Hey.

00:22:31The way he's talking.

00:22:32What's he on about, me mother, eh?

00:22:33Like all he wants to do in a coal mine.

00:22:34The way he's talking.

00:22:35Can't look and celebrate his father.

00:22:36Put him in.

00:22:37Just leave him alone.

00:22:38He can celebrate.

00:22:39Shut up.

00:22:40I'm talking too much.

00:22:41I mean, you're talking too much.

00:22:42Let's have a bit of decorum.

00:22:43Of you pursuing something.

00:22:44Behave yourself.

00:22:45I tell you.

00:22:46Not you.

00:22:47You're not an idiot.

00:22:48Listen.

00:22:49Right turn.

00:22:50On the left, quick march.

00:22:51Halt.

00:22:52Come back.

00:22:53I'm changing my mind.

00:22:54Here.

00:22:55Take this away.

00:22:56Take this away.

00:22:57Take this away.

00:22:58Take this away.

00:22:59Take this away.

00:23:00Take this away.

00:23:01Take this away.

00:23:02Take this away.

00:23:03Here, take this away and give it to Balfe.

00:23:04I'm getting with you.

00:23:05Yes, well, you're using the mine and the coal mine.

00:23:08That's the way to do it.

00:23:09What is that?

00:23:10That's a mistake on his father's side.

00:23:11Oh, to the...

00:23:12Oh, that, that's only a goat.

00:23:14Ahem.

00:23:15Listen.

00:23:16Leave it to me, my old fellow.

00:23:17You ought to make a name for yourself, do you?

00:23:19Well, don't forget, there's a field marshal button

00:23:21in every private's haversack.

00:23:23All right, now then.

00:23:24Have you got your entrance fee?

00:23:26Entrance fee?

00:23:27It's only fiver.

00:23:28No.

00:23:29My mother gave me two pounds ten, is what I've come to.

00:23:31That'll be enough.

00:23:32To be going out with, I come real money, too.

00:23:34Now, look.

00:23:35I'll tell you what we'll do.

00:23:36Have any coppers on you?

00:23:37No.

00:23:38All right.

00:23:39Now, listen.

00:23:40You walk gently and quietly to that door

00:23:42which is marked reception room.

00:23:44Knock neatly on it.

00:23:46Creep in and say unto thyself,

00:23:48Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.

00:23:52Understand?

00:23:57Oh, come on.

00:23:58Come on.

00:24:00There's one born every minute.

00:24:16I'll look after this for you till you come out.

00:24:18And don't go in there with cigarettes.

00:24:20Are you in on it?

00:24:22Thank you.

00:24:29And may good fortune always be with you.

00:24:33It's better than going to coal mines anyway.

00:24:41Where do I go?

00:24:42Sit down over there and wait your turn.

00:24:44Oh.

00:24:45Hello.

00:24:46Hello.

00:24:48Now, what's your name?

00:24:49Philip John Green.

00:24:51Age?

00:24:52Twenty-three.

00:24:53What?

00:24:54Twenty-three.

00:24:55Address?

00:24:56Brimrose Villa.

00:24:57Bramhall.

00:24:58Occupation?

00:24:59Banklock.

00:25:00Religion?

00:25:01C.V.

00:25:03Halt!

00:25:12Who did that?

00:25:13They do all.

00:25:14Now, stop it.

00:25:15It's not war.

00:25:16Never mind.

00:25:17Stop it.

00:25:18If you want to make a din, make a noise quietly.

00:25:19Understand?

00:25:20And don't forget.

00:25:22Oh, wrong door.

00:25:24You're both all right.

00:25:27And don't go away.

00:25:30Sports?

00:25:31Definitely.

00:25:32Bronze, brunettes.

00:25:34Boxing, swimming, soccer.

00:25:36Shuttlecock.

00:25:37Shuttlecock.

00:25:38Shuttlecock.

00:25:39No, no thanks.

00:25:40Pleasure.

00:25:41Right.

00:25:42Take this to the stores and get your kit.

00:25:43Thanks, Doc.

00:25:44Sorry.

00:25:49Hey, you.

00:25:51The sheol wants you.

00:25:53And don't keep him waiting.

00:25:55Get cracking.

00:25:56You needn't be polite all the time, you know.

00:25:58Thank you, sir.

00:25:59Pleasure.

00:26:00Private Randall.

00:26:02You take over.

00:26:03Take down these men's particulars.

00:26:05What?

00:26:06Take down these men's particulars.

00:26:07For the child?

00:26:08What?

00:26:09And no nonsense, please.

00:26:10I'll be back shortly.

00:26:17Next, please.

00:26:20Hello.

00:26:21Pleased to meet you.

00:26:22Ain't it?

00:26:23Pleased to meet you.

00:26:24I shouldn't wonder.

00:26:25I think so, too.

00:26:28Why did you join the army?

00:26:30Well, it's this way.

00:26:31My boy, he smashed up a brand new car.

00:26:34Last night, we've had burglars in the house.

00:26:37My only daughter, Betty.

00:26:39She's eloped to Gretna Green to get married.

00:26:41And I wanted her, she should marry in shul.

00:26:44And on top of all this, my saleslady.

00:26:47She's getting married to a salesman from a rival firm.

00:26:50After I've been good to her,

00:26:52she's giving him my customers for a wedding present.

00:26:55Tell me, are you Welsh?

00:26:57I don't think so.

00:26:58Oh, I thought not.

00:26:59And then, there's more to come.

00:27:01More to come?

00:27:02There's my wife.

00:27:03I've fallen out with her.

00:27:05You see, it happened this way.

00:27:06I let the gas stove go out.

00:27:08Why?

00:27:09Why didn't you light it again?

00:27:10I couldn't.

00:27:11It went out through the roof and my Becky went out with it.

00:27:14Go on.

00:27:15Yes.

00:27:16And then, my brother Moisha.

00:27:18He's gone with sugar.

00:27:19Gone with sugar?

00:27:20Gone with sugar.

00:27:21Gone with sugar.

00:27:22Nothing eaten.

00:27:23There's nothing to eat.

00:27:24It's just something happened.

00:27:26That's right.

00:27:27No, it's not right.

00:27:28No, it's not right.

00:27:29He's gone crazy.

00:27:30He's gone crazy.

00:27:31And then, they've taken him away.

00:27:33Then, my little boy Mendel,

00:27:34his first job looking after the shop,

00:27:36he's been pinched but set in fire to it.

00:27:39Yeah, yeah.

00:27:40Look.

00:27:41If you don't watch out, you'll find yourself in trouble.

00:27:43I think that way too.

00:27:45And that's why I've come here to join your army.

00:27:49What's your name?

00:27:50Izzy.

00:27:51Izzy?

00:27:52Is he all right?

00:27:53Is he all right?

00:27:54Am I all right?

00:27:55Is he all right?

00:27:56You're all right?

00:27:57We're all all right.

00:27:58Is he?

00:27:59I don't think he's all right.

00:28:00I'm sure he's all right.

00:28:01I was when I came in.

00:28:02When you what?

00:28:03Is he what?

00:28:04He's a door.

00:28:05Ah, he's a door.

00:28:06Is he a door?

00:28:07That's it.

00:28:08Is the door open?

00:28:09I don't know.

00:28:10Have a look.

00:28:11The door's closed.

00:28:12Look.

00:28:13Where do you live?

00:28:14Very Ellen Street.

00:28:15Very Ellen Street.

00:28:16That's it.

00:28:17Very Ellen Street.

00:28:18One and a five.

00:28:19One and a five.

00:28:20Six.

00:28:21One and a five.

00:28:22Oh, yes.

00:28:23But I don't live there no more.

00:28:24Yes.

00:28:25I've moved.

00:28:26And where do you live?

00:28:27Because I live here with him and with you, with all the others.

00:28:30He lives with us.

00:28:31Oh, with us now.

00:28:32Listen, I should give you some advice.

00:28:34Please, if you please.

00:28:35Thank you.

00:28:36If you make a...

00:28:39If you make a good soldier, you may one day get a commission.

00:28:42I'll take five percent and settle now.

00:28:45Done.

00:28:46Spit.

00:28:49Trouble in the camp.

00:28:52All right.

00:28:53Thank you.

00:28:54This for me?

00:28:55Yes.

00:28:56Bye-bye.

00:28:57Bye-bye.

00:28:58Missy.

00:29:00Next, Philip.

00:29:04Shall I belay him?

00:29:05Belay him.

00:29:06Muzzle.

00:29:07Handcuff.

00:29:08Handcuffs.

00:29:09And Uncle Tom Copley and all.

00:29:10And Uncle Tom Copley and all.

00:29:16Oh, thank God.

00:29:17Name.

00:29:18Tan Young.

00:29:19Not you.

00:29:20Name.

00:29:21David Davis, man.

00:29:22David Davis, man.

00:29:23David Davis, man.

00:29:24No, no, no.

00:29:25David Davis, man.

00:29:26Yes, I know, man.

00:29:27No, man, I know that.

00:29:28I know, man.

00:29:29Shut up.

00:29:30The other two Ns are one N and mine.

00:29:31There's not any Ns.

00:29:32It's David Davis, man.

00:29:33David Davis, man.

00:29:34Look here.

00:29:35Look.

00:29:36Look here.

00:29:37Can't you understand plain English?

00:29:38Plain English.

00:29:39Yes.

00:29:40My name is David Davis.

00:29:41My name is David Davis.

00:29:42My full name.

00:29:43Well, what's your name when you enter?

00:29:44It's still David Davis, man.

00:29:45David Davis, man.

00:29:46Full or empty.

00:29:47That's it.

00:29:48Aye.

00:29:49Now, look.

00:29:50I do live in a house.

00:29:51Aye.

00:29:52I do live in a house.

00:29:53He lives in a house.

00:29:54He lives in a house.

00:29:55In a house?

00:29:56The H is silent, as in the husband.

00:29:57Oh.

00:29:58Yes.

00:29:59But I don't live in the same house as I was living in.

00:30:00Oh.

00:30:01Don't live in the same house as you were living in.

00:30:02No.

00:30:03Well, where are you before you have gone?

00:30:04Well, we've moved to where we come from.

00:30:05But we're going back to where we're happy.

00:30:06Well, have you gone before you came away?

00:30:07Well, the place we are living in is not the place where we are now.

00:30:08Oh.

00:30:09Where is it, then, it is?

00:30:10Is it?

00:30:11The place I am now?

00:30:12Yes, indeed.

00:30:13Well, it's not the place I was.

00:30:14The place I was is Llanfairpwllgwynechgogerych.

00:30:15Ah, don't gargle.

00:30:16I'm not gargling.

00:30:17I'm telling you the name of the place where I did live.

00:30:18Well, what is it, then?

00:30:19Llanfairpwllgwynechgogerychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:20Oh, that's easy.

00:30:21Easy, easy.

00:30:22Llanfairpwllgwynechgogerychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:23Llanfairpwllgwynechgogerychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:24Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:25Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:26Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:27Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:28Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:29Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogogoch.

00:30:30Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogoch.

00:30:31Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogoch.

00:30:32Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogoch.

00:30:33Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogoch.

00:30:34Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogoch.

00:30:35Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogogoch.

00:30:36Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:37Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:38Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:39Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:40Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:41Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:42Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:43Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:44Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:45Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:46Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:47Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:48Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:49Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:50Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:51Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:52Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:53Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:54Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:55Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:56Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:57Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:58Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:30:59Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:00Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:01Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:02Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:03Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:04Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:05Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:06Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:07Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:08Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:09Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:10Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:11Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:12Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:13Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:14Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:15Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:16Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:17Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:18Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:19Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:20Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:21Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:22Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:23Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:24Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:25Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:26Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:27Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:28Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:29Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:30Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:31Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:32Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:33Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:34Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:35Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:36Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:37Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:38Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:39Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:40Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:41Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:42Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:43Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:44Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:31:45Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

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00:52:01Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:02Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:03Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:04Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:05Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:06Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:07Llanfairpwllgwynechgorychgwyndorachllandysiliogoch.

00:52:09Oh, young, your canteen orderly.

00:52:11Go to the naffy, get the tea wagon, and take it over to the sergeant's mess.

00:52:15To the naffy, the sea sergeant, the sergeant's mess.

00:52:17Good, sir.

00:52:34Get on the wood, eh?

00:52:39Very humorous.

00:52:41Very amusing.

00:52:42Must have a reply.

00:52:44Oh, no, you're away from your type.

00:52:48Don't worry, you'll get your ticket, you'll get your ticket.

00:53:03Now look at the mess you've made.

00:53:05I've no money now for the next ten years.

00:53:07Still, why worry?

00:53:08The army is money to burn.

00:53:10I'm sorry.

00:53:11Really, I'm sorry.

00:53:12You are?

00:53:13You do apologize?

00:53:14I'm certain to do.

00:53:15Well, in that case, then, sir, I am a gentleman.

00:53:18Well, you amaze me.

00:53:19Ha! Oh, dear, would you care for a cup of tea?

00:53:21Even if it's armatea, I should be more than delighted.

00:53:24We have all the words for it, but never mind.

00:53:25You're all too kind to give me the handle, sir.

00:53:27Oh, I beg your pardon.

00:53:28I'm sorry.

00:53:30Quite a gentleman.

00:53:31Would you help yourself?

00:53:33There's the urn.

00:53:34You thought it was a television.

00:53:35There's the urn.

00:53:36There's the urn, yes.

00:53:37Now, what kind would you like?

00:53:38Would you like the small ones?

00:53:39These are rather nutty.

00:53:40No, I...

00:53:41Full of blood.

00:53:42The other ones, please.

00:53:43You would?

00:53:44The one at the back.

00:53:45The one at the back.

00:53:46Thank you.

00:53:47I tell you what we have got.

00:53:48We've got a nice sponge one here.

00:53:49This has got a...

00:53:50Can I have a cup of tea?

00:53:51I beg your pardon?

00:53:52Can I have a cup of tea, any of you?

00:53:53Of course.

00:53:54Of course.

00:53:55This is the roof leaking.

00:53:56The roof.

00:53:57It's the roof.

00:53:58I can't...

00:53:59We'll have to get the public in.

00:54:02Can I have a drop of tea, any of you?

00:54:04Of course, sir.

00:54:05Tea?

00:54:06With pleasure.

00:54:11Would you mind?

00:54:12Certainly.

00:54:13Thank you.

00:54:14That's enough.

00:54:15Enough?

00:54:16Would that do for you?

00:54:17Thank you.

00:54:28Holy mackerel, what goes on here?

00:54:30Don't you know you're in the army?

00:54:32Haven't you read Queen's regulations?

00:54:35No, no.

00:54:37It's a bit of fun, a bit of fun, you know.

00:54:39What goes on here?

00:54:40Haven't you seen my teeth?

00:54:44Put that man under the roof, somebody!

00:54:46Take him out of this place!

00:54:48Damn!

00:55:04Thank you.

00:55:10Thank you.

00:55:17You're a bit late, aren't you?

00:55:19Just a little, sir.

00:55:20Have you finished now?

00:55:21Yes, sir.

00:55:22Good.

00:55:23How about the pictures tonight?

00:55:25Well, I've got a terrible headache.

00:55:27There's the thing now.

00:55:28Do you know I've got a headache myself?

00:55:30A nice, quiet drive in the country would do us both a lot of good.

00:55:33That's what I've been doing all day.

00:55:35And this thing.

00:55:36But how about coming in my car?

00:55:38I've only just bought it.

00:55:39I had a bit of luck with the horses.

00:55:41I know a nice pub in Vashley where we could have a lovely, quiet evening together.

00:55:46What do you say?

00:55:47Well, I think it's absolutely charming of you, Sergeant Major,

00:55:49but we've had a very busy day and I really can't see...

00:55:51You sleep when you're spoken to, Green, and not before, do you understand?

00:55:54Yes, sir.

00:55:55How about you?

00:55:56Well, not tonight, thank you.

00:55:57Some other time.

00:55:58You haven't forgotten what I said the other day, have you?

00:56:01You don't want me to be difficult, do you?

00:56:03I might have to crime you.

00:56:05Crime me for what?

00:56:07Well, there's always lots of crimes around if you really look hard for them.

00:56:10You were late in tonight and you were absent without leave the other weekend, weren't you?

00:56:17Excuse me, Corporal, have you any further use of me?

00:56:19That'll be all, Green.

00:56:20That'll be all.

00:56:23Thank you so very much, Sergeant Major.

00:56:27There was an old woman over there.

00:56:28Oh, here, fellas, fellas.

00:56:29Please, will you help me?

00:56:30Help you?

00:56:31Certainly.

00:56:32That's what they said, wasn't it?

00:56:33All for one and once for all.

00:56:35Aye, and each for two.

00:56:36Tea for two.

00:56:37Who's having tea?

00:56:38I don't know.

00:56:39Look, fellas, fellas.

00:56:40What is it?

00:56:41Big Head O'Reilly's trying to kidnap my girl in his car.

00:56:43Will you help me try and stop him?

00:56:44Stop him?

00:56:45Stop him?

00:56:46Well, I'm sparring with him.

00:56:47They're over there together now.

00:56:48Has he got a car, then, now?

00:56:49Yes, I'll show you.

00:56:50That's it.

00:56:51I bet he's made that out of the money he's scrounged from us.

00:56:53Aye.

00:56:54He's got it out of the canteen funds, I'll bet.

00:56:56Our guilt.

00:56:57Yeah, but what are we going to do about it?

00:56:58Hey, I'll tell you what.

00:56:59We'll break his car into little pieces.

00:57:00Oh, look, you'll die.

00:57:01I'm surprised that you make a suggestion like that, man.

00:57:04Well, what do you suggest, then?

00:57:05I can suggest something, but you wouldn't do it.

00:57:07Now, you get in there and sit down.

00:57:09You'll find she's as comfortable as a feather bed.

00:57:14Now, in a minute, we'll be off like a bird.

00:57:17She's a lovely car.

00:57:20When I get her started.

00:57:24I wonder what's wrong with her.

00:57:25I've never had this trouble before.

00:57:29I filled up with the dump.

00:57:33Look, I think you'd better call me when you've got it fixed.

00:57:36Don't go away now.

00:57:37I'll have it right in a minute.

00:57:42Blast the thing.

00:57:55What the devil's the matter with you?

00:58:06Why, whatever's the matter, Sergeant?

00:58:08Oh, I don't know.

00:58:09I've got a little engine trouble, that's all.

00:58:11Engine trouble?

00:58:12Do any of you know anything about cars?

00:58:13Well, I know a little, very little.

00:58:15But there's the lad.

00:58:16He knows it all.

00:58:17Oh, fine.

00:58:18Would you mind giving me a hand?

00:58:19With a car?

00:58:20Yes.

00:58:21Certainly.

00:58:22Where is it?

00:58:23Hello.

00:58:24Yes?

00:58:25What do you think it is, a lighter?

00:58:26Looks more like a mousetrap to me.

00:58:28I'll do my best.

00:58:29Which is the way in?

00:58:30Through the door.

00:58:31Oh, I see.

00:58:32Thank you.

00:58:33We'll have it ready for you in less than three weeks or a month?

00:58:36Yes.

00:58:37Yes.

00:58:38Where's the wing?

00:58:39At the other side, you armadorn.

00:58:40Oh, I see.

00:58:41No, no, right in front of you.

00:58:43Oh, is that it?

00:58:44Oh, I'm sorry.

00:58:45I beg your pardon.

00:58:46Will you please open the door?

00:58:48Thank you.

00:58:49Oh, it serves me right for asking.

00:58:52Oh, I see.

00:58:53Five, eleven, twenty-six.

00:58:54What the devil do you think you're playing at?

00:58:55Just what number will you have?

00:58:56I'll have a number.

00:58:57Yes.

00:58:58Ah, three's the winner.

00:58:59It's a bit loose, I think.

00:59:00I know that.

00:59:01You won't need that.

00:59:02Have you switched on?

00:59:03Of course I have.

00:59:04I turn the switch to the left.

00:59:05To the left.

00:59:06To the left.

00:59:07You should have turned it to the right.

00:59:08Oh, to the right.

00:59:09Yes, of course.

00:59:10Open the door, will you?

00:59:11Yes, of course.

00:59:12Thank you.

00:59:13Thank you.

00:59:14Thank you.

00:59:15Thank you.

00:59:16Thank you.

00:59:17Thank you.

00:59:18Thank you.

00:59:19Thank you.

00:59:20Thank you.

00:59:21Thank you.

00:59:25Do you mind turning the handle again?

00:59:26Just give her a turnover.

00:59:27Right.

00:59:28I'll do that.

00:59:29All right.

00:59:30I can't shift her at all!

00:59:32I think you should tighten up all the extremities.

00:59:37That's what it is.

00:59:38That's what it is.

00:59:39This is the hot end.

00:59:43Mind you're on the proper way.

00:59:45Splits myself.

00:59:46That's the trouble.

00:59:47There appears to be an engine in here.

00:59:49Why not?

00:59:50Oh, I see. Ah, I see the trouble.

00:59:54Ah. Yes, it's the god star of the pie blanch.

00:59:57Is it really? Yes, sir.

00:59:58I'll be after asking for your light.

01:00:00Would you mind? Of course.

01:00:02Come on, sir. Hurry up.

01:00:03There you are.

01:00:05It's the tantaliser, I suppose.

01:00:06Is it really? Yes, sir.

01:00:07What is the tantaliser?

01:00:08The octagonal square piece, sir.

01:00:09It's dark, I can't see.

01:00:10Shall I give it a turn? Give it a turn, please.

01:00:12Right.

01:00:13Here, I'll just light it for you.

01:00:15Ready?

01:00:16That's right.

01:00:18Hey!

01:00:34Come on.

01:00:35Hey!

01:00:42Hey!

01:00:48Will you please help me get up?

01:00:50I've no idea.

01:01:00Careful with that.

01:01:04Will you get up?

01:01:09Careful with that.

01:01:12Help!

01:01:13Help!

01:01:17I'll be careful of him.

01:01:19Right.

01:01:22Hey!

01:01:23It's got to be tough.

01:01:24You know what?

01:01:25I don't want to let go.

01:01:26We've got to break him up.

01:01:27I'll see myself listening about this.

01:01:29Here we go.

01:01:31I'll tear you to pieces if you don't let me go.

01:01:33Get up!

01:01:36Try the other leg.

01:01:40More!

01:01:43Who's tickling me?

01:01:48Shut up.

01:01:57I want to go.

01:01:58Listen, you've got to break him up when you get in there.

01:02:00I want to break him up.

01:02:05I'll tear the liver out of him when I'm finished.

01:02:09I won't listen to you.

01:02:10What's that?

01:02:11What's that?

01:02:16Let's have a sip of that.

01:02:17Sip of that?

01:02:18There you are.

01:02:24It's very good for you, sir.

01:02:26Still breathing?

01:02:34When are they going to measure me up?

01:02:36I think he's about ready for the chemo.

01:02:38Get up!

01:02:40Take me to bed.

01:02:42Take me to bed.

01:02:45It's very nice.

01:02:46You'll be okay when we're finished with you.

01:02:48What's that idiot playing?

01:02:49Get up!

01:02:50Oh, dear, dear, dear.

01:02:54Where's my mother?

01:03:01When I get fit, I'll tear the liver out of him.

01:03:07Oh, my mother!

01:03:09Careful!

01:03:12Now then, don't run him off like that.

01:03:20Oh, that's him.

01:03:21Put something on him.

01:03:23Take it easy now.

01:03:24Take it easy.

01:03:25Take it easy.

01:03:26Take it easy.

01:03:27All right.

01:03:28All right.

01:03:29Now, look.

01:03:32That's the fella.

01:03:33Who?

01:03:34Me?

01:03:35Don't be silly.

01:03:37Don't be silly.

01:03:38I'm going to die now.

01:03:39None of that.

01:03:40None of that.

01:03:41I'll report it.

01:03:42I'll report it.

01:03:43I'll report it.

01:03:44Well, now, look here.

01:03:45What's going on?

01:03:46Take a look at this.

01:03:47Oh!

01:03:48Oh!

01:03:49Oh!

01:03:50Oh!

01:03:51Oh!

01:03:52Oh!

01:03:53Oh!

01:03:54Oh!

01:03:55Oh!

01:03:56Oh!

01:03:57Oh!

01:03:58Oh!

01:03:59Oh!

01:04:00Oh!

01:04:01Oh!

01:04:02Oh!

01:04:03Oh!

01:04:04Oh!

01:04:05Oh!

01:04:06Oh!

01:04:07Oh!

01:04:08Oh!

01:04:09Oh!

01:04:10Oh!

01:04:11Oh!

01:04:12Oh!

01:04:13Oh!

01:04:14Oh!

01:04:15Oh!

01:04:16Oh!

01:04:17Oh!

01:04:18Oh!

01:04:19Oh!

01:04:20Oh!

01:04:21Oh!

01:04:22Oh!

01:04:23Oh!

01:04:24Oh!

01:04:25Oh!

01:04:26Oh!

01:04:27Oh!

01:04:28Oh!

01:04:29Oh!

01:04:30Oh!

01:04:31Oh!

01:04:32Oh!

01:04:33Oh!

01:04:34Take it easy, take it easy, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:05:01off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:05:31him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:06:01get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:06:08off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:15him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:06:22get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:06:29off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:36him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:06:43get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:06:48off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:51him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:52him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:53him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:54him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:06:55get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:06:56off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:06:57him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:06:58get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:06:59off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:00him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:02him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:07:03get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:04off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:05him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:07:06get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:07off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:08him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:10him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:07:11get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:12off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:13him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:14him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:15him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:16him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:18him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:07:19get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:20off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:21off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:22off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:23off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:24off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:07:25off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:07:56him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:08:05get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:08:12off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:08:17him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:08:21him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:08:24him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:08:27get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:08:29off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:08:30him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:08:31get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:08:32off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:08:33him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:08:34him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:08:45get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:08:56off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:09:02him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:09:09get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:09:16off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:09:21him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:09:28get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:09:35off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:09:42him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:09:47get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:09:52off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:09:57him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:10:02get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:10:07off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:10:12him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off,

01:10:17get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him

01:10:22off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get him off, get

01:10:27him off, get him off, get him off, get him off.

01:10:39Well, that's very kind of you.

01:10:41Not at all.

01:10:42It was one of my regulation, was it not?

01:10:43Well, I'm going to go and get this job done.

01:10:45Shall I come with you?

01:10:46Oh, don't bother.

01:10:47Oh, it's quite all right.

01:10:50Come in.

01:10:51What?

01:10:52Ah, a big pardon.

01:10:53Oh.

01:10:54Ah, by the way…

01:10:55Would you care to have breakfast with me tomorrow?

01:10:57I might.

01:10:58Oh, bravo.

01:10:59In that case, shall I phone you or give you a nudge?

01:11:03You're a naughty little boy.

01:11:05Oh.

01:11:06Ah.

01:11:07Ooh.

01:11:18I'm sorry.

01:11:19Forgive me.

01:11:20I beg your pardon.

01:11:22Ooh.

01:11:23Oh, no.

01:11:28Please, ma'am.

01:11:29What are you doing here?

01:11:31Have you had a promotion?

01:11:32I've had the most wonderful luck.

01:11:33I'm clerk to the adjutant now.

01:11:35However, did you click for that?

01:11:36Well, I haven't any idea.

01:11:38Hmm.

01:11:39I think I can guess.

01:11:40Anyway, listen, Pat.

01:11:41Have you got a minute?

01:11:42I want to talk to you.

01:11:43As many as you like.

01:11:44Phil Green is on the overseas draft.

01:11:46But he can't be.

01:11:47He hasn't finished his training yet.

01:11:49Well, he is.

01:11:50I've just seen it on the board.

01:11:51Now, look, Pat, you've got to help me.

01:11:52You must take Phil's name off that list.

01:11:54Talk to Captain Saunders, anything, but don't let me down.

01:11:58Right.

01:12:03Hello.

01:12:04Who was that?

01:12:05Only Corporal Clements, sir.

01:12:06Oh, what does she want?

01:12:07Tell me, can a man who hasn't completed his basic training be sent overseas?

01:12:11No, of course not.

01:12:12I didn't think so myself.

01:12:14Why?

01:12:15What's the matter?

01:12:16Well, Corporal Clements says that a private Phil Green is on the overseas list on the notice board.

01:12:21Well?

01:12:22Well, I'm quite sure that that man isn't eligible for overseas duty yet.

01:12:25Oh, well, we can soon check that in my list.

01:12:33I can't say a Green, can you?

01:12:34No, I can't say him.

01:12:36You sure he's on that list?

01:12:38Well, so Paula says.

01:12:39Paula?

01:12:40Ah, Green's her boyfriend, isn't he?

01:12:43Yes, sir, he is.

01:12:44Ah, well, we must do something about this, mustn't we?

01:12:46First of all, you go and get that list.

01:12:52Here we go.

01:12:54Orderly Room.

01:12:55Adjutant here.

01:12:57Will you tell Sergeant Major O'Reilly I'd like to speak to him?

01:13:00Tell him to come to my office.

01:13:03Thank you very much.

01:13:08Here's the list, sir.

01:13:10You see, Green is on it.

01:13:11There.

01:13:12Yes.

01:13:14In place of Monroe.

01:13:16Well, you'd better go, Pat.

01:13:18You leave this to me.

01:13:22Come in.

01:13:25You wish to see me, sir?

01:13:26Yes, Sergeant Major.

01:13:27Have you the copy of the list of the overseas draft that I gave you?

01:13:31It's in my office, sir.

01:13:32Well, it doesn't matter.

01:13:33I have another copy here.

01:13:34And this is the list from the notice board.

01:13:37You will see that Green has been substituted for Monroe.

01:13:40How do you account for that?

01:13:42I'll look into it, sir.

01:13:44Yes, I wish you would.

01:13:45This man Green has only been with us a few weeks.

01:13:47Hardly had time to get his hair cut.

01:13:49Is that so, sir?

01:13:50How is it you don't know that?

01:13:51Don't you check the particulars of a man before you put him on a draft?

01:13:54Oh, yes, sir.

01:13:55I'm always most careful, sir.

01:13:56Well, you weren't in this case.

01:13:58I'm sorry, sir.

01:13:59I think you should be.

01:14:00I expect my Sergeant Major to be of assistance to me.

01:14:03Someone I can rely on.

01:14:04Sir.

01:14:05That's all.

01:14:07Hee!

01:14:08It's Charlie Endriss, sir.

01:14:09Well.

01:14:10Well, we've made it.

01:14:11It's complete.

01:14:12Ah, yes.

01:14:13Where are you going?

01:14:14I was just going out, you know.

01:14:15Oh.

01:14:16Ah, no.

01:14:17Well.

01:14:18What are you doing?

01:14:19Oh, I'm sorry.

01:14:20Well, I thought.

01:14:21Where is it?

01:14:22What?

01:14:23Never mind that.

01:14:24You're past.

01:14:25Past?

01:14:26I'm past.

01:14:27I'm past.

01:14:28I'm past.

01:14:29I'm past.

01:14:30I'm past.

01:14:31I'm past.

01:14:32I'm past.

01:14:33I'm past.

01:14:34I'm past.

01:14:35I'm past.

01:14:36I'm past.

01:14:37I'm past.

01:14:38I'm past.

01:14:39Well, come off it, past.

01:14:40Yes.

01:14:41We don't have pasts when they're on.

01:14:42Ah, well, that's all right now.

01:14:43You've had too much latitude in the past.

01:14:44Come on now.

01:14:45Let me see.

01:14:46No, I've got to go out.

01:14:47What for?

01:14:48I'm going to see my auntie.

01:14:49Oh, well, in that case, go and see her.

01:14:50Oh.

01:14:51I'll pull one over to C.O.

01:14:52Ah, what was it?

01:14:53Ah, I went to see him.

01:14:54Yes.

01:14:55I told him I said I've had a letter from White.

01:14:56And she's complaining that I'm not going home, you know.

01:15:00Oh, yes.

01:15:01Ah.

01:15:02Francis.

01:15:05I should go then. She's very nice, you know. I bet she is. You don't know her, do you? I'm afraid I don't. You'd like her?

01:15:12Ah, you must give me the address sometime. I will. Thank you. Perhaps.

01:15:16So she said, now look, you've got to come home.

01:15:18So he says, well, I'll tell you what to do. You go away and come back in a couple of days

01:15:22and I'll see you what I can do for you. Oh. So I went to see him today. Yes. Do you know what he said to me?

01:15:26I haven't the faintest. He said, I've had a letter from your missus and she's complaining about you.

01:15:31He says, I don't let you go home because every time you go home you get drunk, thrash all the children.

01:15:36Never. Yes, go out and play the devil with the neighbours. Break all the pots and the furniture in the house.

01:15:42Is that what she said? Make a general muck about the place. Well. Well, I'll tell you, there's one thing.

01:15:48It's either him or me, a liar. Why? Because I'm not married.

01:15:51Oh, go and see your auntie. I will. And don't have too many shanties. I won't be late back.

01:15:59All right. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

01:16:05Charlie Henry.

01:16:11Hey, you, where's your passport? Oh, best if it's on this polo. I didn't look, did I, you little...

01:16:14Why, Private Randall. And a military policeman too. Yes, a mess pot. Just for one night.

01:16:19Where are you going? Well, I'll let you through without a pass. It doesn't matter. Oh, I have a pass.

01:16:24It may be in this top pocket here. No, it's over down here, I think. Blast.

01:16:27There we are.

01:16:28Ah, that'll do, it's all right.

01:16:29Where are you going?

01:16:30You do ask a lot of questions, don't you?

01:16:32Well, I'm interested, that's why.

01:16:33As a matter of fact, I'm going to meet a friend,

01:16:35Corporal Drake.

01:16:36Well, I should duck that one.

01:16:38Dorothy.

01:16:39Dorothy, well, a female Drake, never heard of it.

01:16:42As a matter of fact, we're going to a dance together

01:16:44and then we're coming home together.

01:16:46I've heard that one before.

01:16:47I wish I was going to a dance.

01:16:49Do you really?

01:16:50I certainly do.

01:16:51Well, I'd better go because I've got to change

01:16:53and I'm late already.

01:16:54Besides, I think that horrible Sergeant Major O'Reilly

01:16:56is following me.

01:16:57Blimey, O'Reilly.

01:17:00Here, well, you show up.

01:17:01I'll hold him back as long as I can

01:17:02and give you a good start, you see.

01:17:04Paula, I may be coming to the dance tonight.

01:17:06You'll send me one, will you?

01:17:08Of course I will.

01:17:09Thanks.

01:17:11Ah, you've joined the Salvation Army, have you?

01:17:13Good.

01:17:14Who the devil do you think you're talking to?

01:17:16Well, it's only they and me here, isn't it?

01:17:18Oh, so it's you, is it?

01:17:20Me?

01:17:21Yes, this is me.

01:17:22What do you want?

01:17:23Where's your pass?

01:17:24Do you expect me to show it to you?

01:17:25Yes.

01:17:26Why?

01:17:27I'm not going to let you pass without a pass.

01:17:28Where is it?

01:17:29Have you seen this?

01:17:30That's on a little one.

01:17:31Have you seen this?

01:17:32No, I haven't.

01:17:33Have you seen this?

01:17:34No, I haven't.

01:17:35Have you seen this?

01:17:36No, I haven't.

01:17:37Have you seen this?

01:17:38No.

01:17:39Have you seen this?

01:17:40The CO says I've got to examine everybody's passes irrespective of rank, on your very rank.

01:17:44Do you expect me to believe that?

01:17:45Yes.

01:17:46Where's your pass?

01:17:47Are you drunk?

01:17:48No, you are.

01:17:49What?

01:17:50Yes, here, look at that button I've done.

01:17:51Pass it yourself on.

01:17:52Come out of this place.

01:17:53Will you leave this alone?

01:17:54Look to your front, if it's not laundry.

01:17:55I mean, look at your back.

01:17:56Stand easy.

01:17:57I said easy.

01:17:58Look down.

01:17:59What the devil do you think you're doing?

01:18:00Look at your feet.

01:18:01What are you doing?

01:18:02Hold your head up.

01:18:03And get your neck moist.

01:18:04Your hair won't scurry.

01:18:05Your head won't bother you.

01:18:06And stop smoking.

01:18:07I'll see you in the morning.

01:18:08And we'll see who's drunk then.

01:18:09You'll be sobered up then.

01:18:10And don't smoke.

01:18:11I tell you.

01:18:12I haven't got a cigarette.

01:18:13You're getting none off me anyway.

01:18:14Get out of my way.

01:18:15I'm going to the dance.

01:18:16So am I.

01:18:17Perhaps you'll save the shot to eat with me, huh?

01:18:18I'd like to have you shot.

01:18:19Ha.

01:18:20Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:21Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:22Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:23Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:24Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:25Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:26Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:27Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:28Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:29Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:30Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:31Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:32Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:33Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:34Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:35Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:36Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:37Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:38Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:39Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:40Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:41Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:42Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:43Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:44Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:45Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:46Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:47Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:48Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:49Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:50Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:51Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:52Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:53Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:54Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:55Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:56Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:57Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:58Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:18:59Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:00Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:01Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:02Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:03Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:04Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:05Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:06Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:07Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:08Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:09Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:10Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:11Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:12Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:13Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:14Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:15Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:16Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:17Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:18Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:19Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:20Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:21Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:22Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:23Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:24Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:25Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:26Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:27Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:28Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:29Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:30Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:31Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:32Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:33Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:34Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:35Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:36Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:37Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:38Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:39Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:40Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:41Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:42Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:43Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:44Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:45Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:46Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:47Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:48Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:49Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:50Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:51Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:52Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:53Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:54Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:55Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:56Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:57Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

01:19:58Oh, where do you live?

01:20:0025 Water Street.

01:20:01Do you live with your mother?

01:20:03Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

01:20:06How old are you?

01:20:07Well, I think I'm 21, but my mother says I'm only 19.

01:20:11Oh, where do you work then?

01:20:13I make wind in a balloon factory.

01:20:15You make wind in a balloon factory?

01:20:17Aye, it's done by machinery.

01:20:19Oh, ah, ah.

01:20:20Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?

01:20:22Well, I'd like to go for the picture.

01:20:24Can I take you?

01:20:25Will you?

01:20:26I'll tell you what to do.

01:20:27You go and get tickets and I'll meet you in foyer, eh?

01:20:30And don't forget, bring some cigarettes and matches, eh?

01:20:33Aye.

01:20:34And a bit of chocolate, eh?

01:20:35Aye.

01:20:36All right.

01:20:57Thank you, darling.

01:20:58That was absolutely lovely.

01:20:59Well, I rather enjoyed it myself.

01:21:01May I be utterly selfish and suggest something

01:21:03that will make me enjoy the next dance even more?

01:21:05What is it?

01:21:06Well, I noticed the cutest little seat outside

01:21:08that seemed to be asking to be sat on.

01:21:10Would you mind to have it?

01:21:11I was rather hoping you might suggest it.

01:21:13Oh, well, come on.

01:21:14Wait a minute.

01:21:15Let me go straighten my hair first.

01:21:16Oh, don't bother.

01:21:17Look, there's Margaret over there.

01:21:18Why don't you go and talk to her till I come back, eh?

01:21:20Mm.

01:21:21Oh, Margaret.

01:21:22Margaret.

01:21:23Margaret.

01:21:24Margaret.

01:21:26All right, but don't be too long.

01:21:30Hey, I didn't know.

01:21:31I wonder what's become of Randall.

01:21:33Why, ask me.

01:21:34I didn't marry the army.

01:21:35Don't.

01:21:36He said he was going to be here tonight.

01:21:37Ah, yes.

01:21:38But he said he was going to be a bit late.

01:21:39Hey, I'll tell you what's happened to him.

01:21:40He's gone back to the barracks to get himself poshed up.

01:21:43Oh, I think I know what's happened.

01:21:44What?

01:21:45He's gone to one of those higher purchase places.

01:21:47You pay 10 shillings down, they give you a real evening dress.

01:21:49You're turned out like Lord Rothschild.

01:21:51I know.

01:21:52Should he go eat?

01:21:53The rest will forget it.

01:21:54Listen, he's going to come back the other, and then he's going to show us all up.

01:21:56Well, if he doesn't come back soon, it's going to be too late, because it's all going to be over.

01:22:01It'll be fun.

01:22:03Here they are.

01:22:04Great.

01:22:05Yeah?

01:22:06Report to the M.T. office at once.

01:22:07Special duty.

01:22:08I don't understand.

01:22:09Why?

01:22:10Stop arguing with me and do as you're told.

01:22:11Oh.

01:22:12Well, I hope to see you later, perhaps.

01:22:14What's the idea, Sergeant Major?

01:22:15There's no idea.

01:22:16I'm giving you an order.

01:22:18Oh, I see.

01:22:19Yes.

01:22:20You have no idea.

01:22:21Without mentioning any names, I believe I have.

01:22:24Good night, sir.

01:22:26Up to his usual dirty tricks.

01:22:28Why?

01:22:29I don't mean this the wrong way, but I mean he's slightly jealous.

01:22:32Good night.

01:22:33Good night.

01:22:34Thanks so much. See you around.

01:22:55Miss Clemens?

01:22:57Not waiting for the last dance?

01:22:58No, I feel rather tired.

01:22:59I think I'll have an early night.

01:23:00Would you like me to take you home in my car?

01:23:02No, that's all right.

01:23:03Thank you.

01:23:04I think I'll take the shortcut over the canal bridge.

01:23:06It's rather dark.

01:23:07You're sure you'll be all right?

01:23:08Yes, I'll be okay.

01:23:09Good night.

01:23:10Good night.

01:23:25Did you see Paula Clemens go out?

01:23:27Yes, Sergeant Major.

01:23:28Which way did she go?

01:23:29She said she wanted an early night.

01:23:31She took the shortcut over the bridge.

01:23:33Right.

01:23:34Good night, Sergeant Major.

01:23:35Good night.

01:23:55Why are you running away?

01:23:57Isn't that rather obvious?

01:23:58Oh, come on now.

01:23:59Don't talk like that.

01:24:00Ever since I've known you, I've made it quite clear that I didn't want anything to do with you.

01:24:03Isn't that enough?

01:24:04Can't we be friends?

01:24:05No.

01:24:06You're far too nice to be an enemy.

01:24:07Can't you leave anyone alone?

01:24:09You were mixed up in that Phil Green business now, weren't you?

01:24:12Why?

01:24:13Because it was a dirty trick of yours, trying to get him sent overseas just because you were jealous of him.

01:24:16Anyway, there's no point in standing here arguing.

01:24:18Please let me go.

01:24:19I will not.

01:24:20What?

01:24:21Can't you see you're not wanted?

01:24:22Don't touch me!

01:24:23Get away!

01:24:24Get away!

01:24:25No!

01:24:26No!

01:24:27No!

01:24:28No!

01:24:29No!

01:24:30No!

01:24:31No!

01:24:32No!

01:24:33No!

01:24:34No!

01:24:35No!

01:24:36No!

01:24:37No!

01:24:38No!

01:24:39No!

01:24:40No!

01:24:41No!

01:24:42No!

01:24:43No!

01:24:44No!

01:24:45No!

01:24:46No!

01:24:47No!

01:24:48No!

01:24:49♪

01:24:54♪

01:24:59♪

01:25:04♪

01:25:09♪

01:25:14♪

01:25:19♪

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01:25:39♪

01:25:44♪

01:25:49♪

01:25:54♪

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01:26:49♪

01:26:54♪

01:26:59♪

01:27:04♪

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01:29:29♪

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01:31:54♪

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01:32:04♪

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01:32:29♪

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01:33:44♪

01:33:49♪

01:33:52♪

01:33:59Thank you very much indeed, that was charming.

01:34:01Look, there's something I'd like to show you.

01:34:03Yes?

01:34:04Something I think will interest you very much.

01:34:08Whatever's this?

01:34:09Not a piano, surely?

01:34:10No, it is.

01:34:11It's over a hundred years old.

01:34:13Really?

01:34:14Yeah, it's been in our family for 80 years.

01:34:16Well, I've never seen one like this back home.

01:34:18How quaint, isn't it?

01:34:19I've been offered quite a lot of money for it,

01:34:21but I don't want to sell.

01:34:22You see, it's a family relic,

01:34:23and I'd like to keep it in the family.

01:34:25May I try it?

01:34:26Please do.

01:34:27I'm afraid you won't get much tone out of it.

01:34:31♪

01:34:36♪

01:34:41♪

01:34:46♪

01:34:51♪

01:34:56♪

01:35:01♪

01:35:06♪

01:35:11♪

01:35:16♪

01:35:21♪

01:35:26♪

01:35:31♪

01:35:36♪

01:35:41♪

01:35:46♪

01:35:51♪

01:35:56♪

01:36:01♪

01:36:06♪

01:36:11♪

01:36:16♪

01:36:21♪

01:36:26♪

01:36:29♪

01:36:33Thank you once again.

01:36:34You know, that was really quite wonderful.

01:36:36Why, it's a marvellous old piano.

01:36:37May I get you a drink?

01:36:38Well, I will come back later if you don't mind.

01:36:40I must dash away now.

01:36:41I have an early show at the cab.

01:36:42Come on.

01:36:43You come back.

01:36:44APPLAUSE

01:36:50APPLAUSE

01:36:53One moment, please.

01:36:55I should like to take this opportunity

01:36:58to tell you all how happy we are

01:37:00to see you here this evening

01:37:02on this highly important occasion

01:37:04which not only celebrates our daughter's

01:37:0721st birthday,

01:37:08but also her engagement to Philip Green,

01:37:11who I think you will agree

01:37:12will make her a very charming husband.

01:37:14APPLAUSE

01:37:16Paula!

01:37:17Paula!

01:37:18Come to me.

01:37:19Come to me.

01:37:20Paula!

01:37:21Come here.

01:37:22Come on, darling.

01:37:23Paula.

01:37:24Well, there isn't very much that I can say

01:37:28other than I'm very happy to see you all here this evening

01:37:32and I sincerely hope that you all enjoy yourselves.

01:37:35And I would like to thank Sergeant Major Randall once again

01:37:40for coming to my rescue at a very vital moment.

01:37:43Thank you.

01:37:44APPLAUSE

01:37:49You seem terribly embarrassed.

01:37:52I think the time has arrived when we ought to have the cake.

01:37:56Of course!

01:37:57LAUGHTER

01:38:00I'm sorry, Phil.

01:38:01LAUGHTER

01:38:04Here we are.

01:38:06LAUGHTER

01:38:11Oh, I'm sorry I've spilled my drink.

01:38:14LAUGHTER

01:38:15Don't bother, darling.

01:38:18Well, shall we cut it together, my sweet?

01:38:20Why not?

01:38:21We're going to do everything else together from now on.

01:38:23Uh-huh.

01:38:24LAUGHTER

01:38:25Happy birthday to you

01:38:28Happy birthday to you

01:38:32Happy birthday, dear Paula

01:38:35Happy birthday to you

01:38:41Hello!

01:38:43Mrs. Clements, Mr. Clements and their lovely daughter Paula here.

01:39:12and non-commissioned officers, men, and ladies and gentlemen of our present company tonight.

01:39:21I would just like to say I receive your most kind remarks with heartfelt gratitude, and

01:39:29I would like to also add that should the occasion arise, I would do the selfsame thing all again.

01:39:37But on the next occasion, I would like mere clean water in the canal, because I happen

01:39:42to get a gob full, and I can taste it yet, and dead cats don't taste so nice.

01:39:51And since I've been made into a kiltie, or joined the merry happy throng from the north,

01:39:59that reminds me, there's a hell of a draft coming from somewhere.

01:40:01Where's it coming from?

01:40:03Oh, no.

01:40:04No, I could say I don't know where it's coming from, but I know exactly where it's going

01:40:07to, but I won't.

01:40:10And I do want to say that I am mere unhappy that you've all come here tonight just to

01:40:17see myself.

01:40:18Good old fellow.

01:40:19Cheers.

01:40:20Good old fellow.

01:40:21He's a grand lad.

01:40:22Grand fella.

01:40:23Hey.

01:40:24Oh, goodness gracious.

01:40:25Oh, goodness gracious.

01:40:26Ladies and gentlemen, did I serve?

01:40:27Ladies and gentlemen, did I serve?

01:40:29Did I?

01:40:30Did I?

01:40:31Did I?

01:40:32Did I?

01:40:33Did I?

01:40:34Did I?

01:40:35Did I?

01:40:36Did I?

01:40:37Did I?

01:40:38Did I?

01:40:39Did I?

01:40:40Did I?

01:40:41Did I?

01:40:42Did I?

01:40:43Did I?

01:40:44Did I?

01:40:45Did I?

01:40:46Did I?

01:40:47Did I?

01:40:48Did I?

01:40:49Did I?

01:40:50Did I?

01:40:51Did I?

01:40:52Did I?

01:40:53Did I?

01:40:54Did I?

01:40:55Did I?

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