The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw. (1958 film)

deaddogsmoking

After inadvertently stopping an Indian attack on his stagecoach while traveling in the American West, an English gentleman finds himself appointed sheriff of a nearby town.  Kenneth More ... Jonathan Tibbs Jayne Mansfield ... Kate Henry Hull ... Doc Masters Bruce Cabot ... Jack Ronald Squire ... Toynbee - His Solicitor William Campbell ... Keeno Sidney James ... The Drunk Reed De Rouen ... Clayborne Charles Irwin ... Luke Donald Stewart ... The Drummer Clancy Cooper ... A Barber Gordon Tanner ... Wilkins Robert Morley ... Uncle Lucius David Horne ... James - His Butler Eynon Evans ... Mason - Manager - Jonathan Tibbs & Co.) Tucker McGuire ... Luke's Wife (as Tucker Mc Guire) Brandon Brady ... Slim (as Nick Brady) Larry Taylor ... The Gun Guard Jack Lester ... The Coach Driver Nicholas Stuart ... Feeney Sheldon Lawrence ... Johnny Susan Denny ... Cora Charles Farrell ... Bartender Jonas Applegarth ... Running Deer (as Chief Jonas Applegarth) Joe Buffalo ... Red Wolf (as Deputy Chief Joe Buffalo) Steven Berkoff ... Teenage Boy Janina Faye ... Young Girl Connie Francis ... Kate - Singing Voice (voice) Cyril Kent ... Barman Anthony Lang ... Saloon Patron Alf Mangan ... Saloon Customer Al Mulock ... Henchman Herbert Nelson ... Saloon Bar Drunk Michael Peake ... Velez - Poker Player Brian Rawlinson ... Henchman Mary Reynolds ... Young Girl Emile Stemmler ... Barman Jack Taylor ... Carson - Poker Player John Wilder ... Valet  Directed by Raoul Walsh

Transcript

00:00:30As I sing to the hills in the valley of love, I love you, I love you, comes a voice from

00:00:56the hills in the valley of love, I love you, I love you, when I laugh, when I cry, we're

00:01:16so in love, the hills, and I, so I stray every day to the valley of love, I love you, I love

00:01:38you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

00:01:56What's that? Tea? Take it away. Poison. I never touch it. Give me some port.

00:02:01Sir. The only possible thing for gout, port. Now then, have you located my nephew yet?

00:02:06No, sir. It is to be assumed that Mr. Jonathan is still on holiday, sir.

00:02:10But he started in May. It's now September. He's missing the partridges.

00:02:14He'd do that anyhow, sir. Mr. Jonathan is never happy with a gun in his hand, sir.

00:02:19Nor is anybody else who gets within half a mile of him.

00:02:22Your correspondence might convey some indication of his whereabouts, sir.

00:02:25Well, I can't read them without my glasses, can I? Has anybody found them yet? Ah, Toynbee.

00:02:30Nobody told me you got here. Where have you been?

00:02:32In the library. In the library? You won't find my nephew in

00:02:35the library. No, I didn't, but I found your glasses.

00:02:38Where were they? In a French novel. Not a very nice novel.

00:02:45Just a minute. Where are you going with that? Are you giving a party or something?

00:02:49No, sir. Kidneys? Who are they for?

00:02:53Mr. Jonathan's feeling a bit peckish, sir. Mr. Jonathan? Where is he?

00:02:57In the coach house, sir. In the coach? What's he doing there?

00:03:01He's working on his contraption, sir. What do you mean, scarring all over the countryside

00:03:05for my nephew when he's in the coach house all the time?

00:03:08I looked for him there on the 31st out. Today is the 4th inst.

00:03:12Take that back to the house at once. Now, look here. You get down there.

00:03:16You're my lawyer. You tell him if he doesn't report at Timbs and Co. tomorrow morning at

00:03:189 o'clock, I shall disinherit him. Very good, sir.

00:03:21Get on. At the double! At the double!

00:03:24Mr. Timbs! Mr. Timbs! Ah, dear Mr. Toynbee.

00:03:32Your uncle has instructed that you be at the office of Timbs and Co. at 9 o'clock tomorrow

00:03:36morning. Otherwise, you'll be disinherited. I have here a document dealing with the financial

00:03:44position of the company. This is scarcely the place to give you all

00:03:48the details, but I have to advise you that Timbs and Co. is on the verge of bankruptcy.

00:03:53Ah, my dear sir. How are you? You don't want to bother with Timbs and Co. and verges of

00:03:58bankruptcy and all that nonsense. Here, take a look at my latest invention.

00:04:01It's going to make us all a fortune. What is it meant to be?

00:04:06What is it meant to be, Mr. Toynbee? Sir, allow me to enlighten you. This is a

00:04:13horseless carriage. What's the use of a carriage without a horse?

00:04:18I will demonstrate. Now, watch closely. So far, I've only managed to make it go up

00:04:47and down. But if ever I should succeed in making it go to and from, just think what

00:04:52that'll mean. However, I've made a few adjustments, and this may do the trick. Watch.

00:05:16It's quite safe, Mr. Toynbee. You can come back, sir. It's perfectly all right, Mr. Toynbee.

00:05:28It's safe as houses. Why, I'll wager you that I'll drive to the office in that tomorrow morning,

00:05:32nice and early, when it's quiet.

00:05:46Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, sir. Good morning, Mr. Tibbs. Ah, Mr. Tibbs,

00:05:59this is a pleasure. My dear old Mason, how are you? I'm very good, sir. Has Mr. Toynbee

00:06:03arrived yet? No, sir, but he is expected. I say, what the devil's this? The gun is a Derringer,

00:06:08sir. A what? A Derringer. Good heavens. Looks like a funny little pop pistol to me.

00:06:14Yes, it may be small, but believe me, sir, it's highly dangerous. Do you know, sir,

00:06:18a gun exactly like this was used to assassinate Abraham Lincoln. You amaze me. Yes, indeed,

00:06:23sir. And what's all this sort of contraption? Well, the attachment is a device that we are

00:06:29developing, sir, for gentlemen who might like to stroll around darkest Africa or somewhere,

00:06:34wearing a gun which will not cause an unsightly bulge in a well-cut suit. Ah, I say, that's a

00:06:40perfectly splendid idea, eh? Well, how does it work, old Mason? May I demonstrate, sir? Oh,

00:06:45please do. You know, I'm a bit of an inventor myself. Well, you see, sir, it's fixed to the

00:06:48arm. The gun is held in place by a spring until the muscle is flexed, and then it is propelled

00:06:54forward into the hand. Well, go on, show me. It doesn't seem to work very well, does it, eh? I'm

00:07:04afraid it isn't quite perfected, sir. Good morning, Jones. Ah, you're late. Good morning. Good

00:07:10morning, Mr. Toynbee. So nice to see you, sir. Do sit down. Isn't it another lovely day? Now,

00:07:16perhaps, in quiet, clean, peaceful surroundings, we can discuss the financial situation. Yes,

00:07:21well, never mind the financial situation for the moment. Since yesterday, I've been doing

00:07:26a spot of thinking. You surprise me. You know, family tradition, responsibility, and all that

00:07:32nonsense. Do you mean to say you're willing to enter the firm? Well, you're probably right.

00:07:38Who'd want a horseless carriage anyway? Mr. Tibbs, I congratulate you on your decision.

00:07:43You'll never regret it. Thank you. Now, my dear Mr. Toynbee, my very dear Mr. Toynbee,

00:07:48what, in your considered opinion, is the quickest way to put this firm back on its feet?

00:07:53I've never given it much thought, but I suggest that I'd say sell more guns. Exactly. Now, I don't

00:08:00know much about business and all that sort of thing, but it seems to me that if you want to

00:08:04sell anything, you must take that thing, whatever it is, to the place where it's mostly in demand.

00:08:08Very logical. Good. Now, I read in my times that they're having a spot of trouble in the West,

00:08:13I mean the American West. Apparently, there's some frightful female there called

00:08:18Jessie James. She's shooting at everyone. Are you proposing to take our guns to the colonies?

00:08:24Well, they haven't been colonies for some time. Once a colony, always a colony. And mark my words,

00:08:29one of these days they'll realize their mistake and beg to be taken back. Yeah, yeah. But to me,

00:08:35the place for a proprietor is within the four walls of his own establishment. But don't you see,

00:08:40my dear old Toynbee, I could sell more guns there in one day than the firm has sold since the old

00:08:45boy started it in, in, in 1605. America, of course. Coming in contact with Tibb's guns,

00:08:55one of the finer things of life, might well raise the level of the whole country.

00:09:00The point is that the place to sell Tibb's guns is in the Wild West, and that's where I'm going.

00:09:24Sir, I am the inventor of the Wainwright cure-all liniment. Will it cure him? Yeah, I think he's

00:09:43applied some internally. That's great stuff, you know. It even makes hair grow. Oh, well,

00:09:48I have plenty of hair, thank you. Yeah, but you could lose it. We're going through ancient

00:09:52country. You don't say. Well, there you are, partner. I'll put you around, I mean, come on.

00:09:58I think I'd better have a little drop in my crock, pal. Excuse me.

00:10:12You going to Deadwood? No, Fractured Jaw. Ain't anybody ever told you about that? About what?

00:10:18Well, the Box Tee Ranch and the Lazy S started a range war over the water rights.

00:10:24Brother, ain't you ever seen a range war?

00:10:31No, no, I can't say I have. Well, if you get in between the Box Tee and the Lazy S, you're sure

00:10:36dead. You see, the Box Tee men are out to kill the Lazy S men every chance they get. That is,

00:10:43unless the Lazy S men get to the Box Tee men first, and they're both out to kill a stranger

00:10:49in case he's on the other side. Well, as I don't propose to align myself with either faction,

00:10:54I shouldn't have any difficulty. Anyway, sir, if what you say is true, it should be a splendid

00:10:58place to sell guns. Come on, come on, have a drink. Come on, come on. No, thank you.

00:11:05Boy, you're a brave man. No, sir, I'm not brave. I intend to mind my own business, that's all.

00:11:12Should an unforeseen situation develop, a firm hand. That's what's needed,

00:11:15always a firm hand. You mark my words.

00:11:41Injuns! Injuns! Injuns!

00:12:02George!

00:12:03Savages! I'd hoped you'd catch a glimpse of some while I was here.

00:12:12Why, here we are, bouncing along. Hold on to your hat. It's not my hat that worries me,

00:12:16it's my head. You think they're hostile?

00:12:34Well, it's ridiculous. Why doesn't somebody talk to them about this sort of thing?

00:12:38Nobody who gets near enough to talk ever lives long enough to say anything.

00:12:57If my grandfather Digby were here, he'd have those savages eating out of his hand in no time.

00:13:01Eating out of his reek. There never was a savage you could look that man in the eye.

00:13:06Put down a rebellion in Karachi single-handed, my grandfather did.

00:13:12Savages! Cease firing! You know, I feel very strongly about this.

00:13:17Somebody should definitely have a word with these natives.

00:13:20Well, if you can remember what your grandfather Digby said, I beg of you.

00:13:24Any of you fellas got a gun? You better save the last bullet for yourself!

00:13:54We can't just sit here waiting to be turned into mincemeat.

00:14:11My word!

00:14:22Well, I don't suppose I'm half the man that grandfather Digby was,

00:14:25but I'll have a word with our fine-feathered friend. Driver, wait here.

00:14:32Afraid it's the last time we're gonna see that Englishman.

00:15:11I don't understand a word you're talking about. Come along, sir, get on your feet.

00:15:25Now listen to me, my good man. That coach was traveling at a legal rate on a public highway.

00:15:31Your interference is not only unjustified, it's positively dangerous.

00:15:35I won't make an issue of the fact that I happen to be a British subject,

00:15:38because your attack upon these American citizens is equally unwarranted.

00:15:42Now, take this rather silly-looking hatchet and trot along home.

00:15:46There's a good chap. Uh, no hard feelings?

00:15:55Splendid. Good day, sir.

00:16:00You seen what I seen? I think I seen.

00:16:03Keeway! Keeway!

00:16:10Boy, that tender Englishman drove off all them redskins single-hand.

00:16:16Ain't nobody gonna believe us, looking at him.

00:16:23Well, gentlemen, I think that little incident calls for a nice cup of tea, don't you?

00:16:27Driver, stop at the first place en route.

00:16:29Engines! Engines! Redskins! Duck, everybody, duck! Engines! Duck, everybody!

00:16:39Relax, my friend.

00:16:40Redskin!

00:16:58Just past the cemetery. Filled up a bit since I was here last.

00:17:03That's Frank's new jaw just ahead.

00:17:10Howdy, Pete. You having a good time?

00:17:25Engines, eh? What did you run into them?

00:17:27The other side of Table Rock.

00:17:29Well, it's a good thing they didn't have guns.

00:17:31Were there many of them?

00:17:32Oh, about 50, I guess. Sure thought we were goners.

00:17:34How'd you get away?

00:17:35Man, was we lucky.

00:17:36I wouldn't give a plug nickel for our chances when they just up and chased off.

00:17:41One man done it, this here passenger.

00:17:44Single-handed?

00:17:45Him.

00:17:46Him?

00:17:47Is it a porter hereabouts?

00:17:48Don't try to make a fool out of me.

00:17:50Oh, driver, bring those cases over to the hotel for me, will you please?

00:17:56So, you're the big hero.

00:17:58How do you do? Tibbs is my name.

00:18:01Confounded thing. You were saying?

00:18:05Nothing. I wasn't saying nothing.

00:18:07Be careful with those. They contain guns and ammunition.

00:18:13What do you think, Keno?

00:18:14He's fast, but I think I'm faster.

00:18:17You may get a chance to find out.

00:18:20Why would a fast gun like him come to Fractured Jaw?

00:18:23Work for the Lazy S, maybe?

00:18:24He ain't working for me.

00:18:26And the Lazy S is the only other outfit hiring guns.

00:18:29Want me to take him?

00:18:31No, there's time.

00:18:32If he's just here looking for a job, I could use him.

00:18:35We didn't mean nothing.

00:18:37We didn't mean nothing.

00:18:38This is a respectable hotel, you hear?

00:18:41If you two lop-head sons of a barrel want some more,

00:18:43just try and get back in here.

00:18:45I'm running a high-class dump,

00:18:47and the sooner the people around here realize it,

00:18:49the better off they'll be.

00:18:50Oh, wait a minute, Kay.

00:18:52Don't give me none of your lip.

00:18:53It's enough you drunken saddle tramp.

00:18:55Shoot at each other without using bad language, too.

00:18:58Now, are you good again, or do I throw it in on you again?

00:19:01Well, is the circus in town,

00:19:05or are you advanced man for a medicine show?

00:19:08Good day to you, ma'am.

00:19:09Am I right in assuming that you're the proprietress of this tavern?

00:19:13If you're a gambler, I'm on the square scheme

00:19:15this side of the Mississippi.

00:19:17Well, I shouldn't call myself a gambler,

00:19:19although I have paid a little bit of whist occasionally

00:19:22in a friendly foursome.

00:19:23Say that again, will you?

00:19:24What?

00:19:26That bit of whist thing.

00:19:28I have paid a little bit of whist.

00:19:30Oh, those clothes, the way you talk.

00:19:34You're going to be the life of the party around here.

00:19:36Really?

00:19:37Never mind.

00:19:38What can I do for you?

00:19:40I should like some accommodation in your respectable establishment.

00:19:43Come on.

00:19:45I'll look out for strays, mavericks, and lost young'uns.

00:19:47I might as well keep an eye on you.

00:19:50Well, that's jolly good of you.

00:19:51How's that, Captain?

00:19:53They say the good Lord looks after fools and shillings.

00:19:56Well, I figure he does.

00:19:58Well, I figure it can't hurt to give him a hand,

00:20:00in case he's too busy.

00:20:02Here, you mind registering, please?

00:20:04Pleasure.

00:20:06Here's your pen.

00:20:07There you are.

00:20:18Jonathan Tibbs, London.

00:20:20Well, Jonathan, if I were you, I'd stay in your room after dark.

00:20:24Some of the boys around here, they play kind of rough,

00:20:26especially when they're liquored up.

00:20:28They got a peculiar idea of what's funny,

00:20:30and they might just think you're a riot.

00:20:33Most charming of you to offer me advice.

00:20:35Well, if you get into any trouble, just call me.

00:20:37We hadn't had a shaft and a fractured jaw for six months,

00:20:40but the boys, they generally listen to me.

00:20:42I'll bet they do.

00:20:48What?

00:20:49Him?

00:20:52It ain't smart, mister, to play me for a sucker.

00:20:55Sucker?

00:20:56Oh, oh, no, no.

00:20:58I'm quite certain it isn't.

00:20:59I don't like guns.

00:21:01Hide, float, and they're on the prod.

00:21:03Well, that's perfectly splendid.

00:21:05We have something in common.

00:21:06I don't like smooth talkers, neither.

00:21:08I've heard pictures from Mississippi gamblers,

00:21:10Chicago traveling salesmen, and all of them.

00:21:13They don't go nowhere with me.

00:21:16I do beg your pardon, ma'am.

00:21:17I'm a little bit confused.

00:21:19All right.

00:21:20You heard your laugh.

00:21:22Now, don't press your luck.

00:21:24Here's your key.

00:21:25It's number six upstairs.

00:21:27The rules are posted on the wall.

00:21:29Read them, mister, and read them carefully.

00:21:31And remember, if you want to stay out of trouble with me.

00:21:39Wow, thank you.

00:21:40Follow me.

00:21:41Number six, my room.

00:21:55I bet I can drink more than you can.

00:22:01Come on, Kate, give it some more.

00:22:21When I'm strolling down the lane with Billy

00:22:25It's a bright and beautiful day

00:22:29Billy, Billy

00:22:34Any wonder why I feel this way, oh gee

00:22:39Given the opportunity

00:22:41There isn't a gal in town who wouldn't say

00:22:45When I'm strolling down the lane with Billy

00:22:50That's my greatest thrill

00:22:53Billy, Billy

00:22:57You want to see romance

00:22:59Come over and take a glance

00:23:01When I'm strolling down the lane with Billy

00:23:23Oh gee, given the opportunity

00:23:27There isn't a gal in town who wouldn't say

00:23:31When I'm strolling down the lane with Billy

00:23:35That's my greatest thrill

00:23:39Billy, Billy

00:23:43You want to see romance

00:23:47Come over and take a glance

00:23:49When I'm strolling down the lane with Billy

00:23:51Take a glance

00:23:54When I'm strolling down the lane

00:23:58With Bill

00:24:01♪

00:24:06-♪

00:24:11Get back, you scoundrel!

00:24:13Get back, you!

00:24:16Whiskey.

00:24:19Hello, Cora.

00:24:20How about coming out to the ranch

00:24:22and roughing it for a couple of days with Keno and me?

00:24:25No dice.

00:24:26All right.

00:24:27Come on over to the table and have a drink with us right now.

00:24:30I'm waiting for Johnny.

00:24:33Keno ain't gonna like this.

00:24:36No?

00:24:41Hey, Cora!

00:24:44How about spending a little time with me?

00:24:47No, Johnny, please.

00:24:49Why wear a gun?

00:24:51You're safe behind a woman's skirts.

00:24:53Cut it now, or I'll break a chair over both your heads.

00:24:56Forget it.

00:24:58Thanks, Kate.

00:24:59For what?

00:25:00Every time there's a shooting in here,

00:25:01I gotta order new glassware.

00:25:06You want to kill a man over a girl,

00:25:08do it on your own time.

00:25:10You can fire me any time you want.

00:25:13Sure, I can.

00:25:15Until I do, I'd rather have you alive than dead.

00:25:24And there's the reason.

00:25:32Want me to take him now?

00:25:34No.

00:25:37Not just yet.

00:25:39Oh, I beg your pardon, young lady.

00:25:41Name's Kate.

00:25:42If you're talking to me, I'd just assume you weren't.

00:25:44Well, I seem to have got off on the wrong foot,

00:25:46and I am sorry.

00:25:47Well, don't let it break you up.

00:25:49However, I would like to register a complaint.

00:25:51In my room, you know.

00:25:52Now, that's just what I've been sitting up nights

00:25:55worrying about.

00:25:56Well, I don't want you to regard this as a personal failure,

00:25:58but there's such a devil of a racket going on down here

00:26:01that it's practically impossible to sleep.

00:26:03No doubt you could switch me to a quieter spot.

00:26:06There's one quieter spot in Fracture Jaw,

00:26:09and that's Boot Hill.

00:26:10And I think you'll wind up there.

00:26:12Oh, thank you so much.

00:26:13Perhaps that porter chap of yours

00:26:15could deliver my luggage there in the morning.

00:26:17You must think you're a real funny fella, don't you?

00:26:20What do you think, sir?

00:26:22I've never been called that before.

00:26:24You're liable to get called a lot of things

00:26:26you ain't never been called before, and by me.

00:26:29From your tone, I gather we're having a spot

00:26:31of language difficulty.

00:26:33Your difficulties with me hadn't even started.

00:26:37My man of song, Cape.

00:26:40High spirited, didn't you?

00:26:42Mister, you better mean that real nice.

00:26:44You're going to have 40 cow punchers

00:26:46jamming their boots down your throat,

00:26:48and you can figure on mine, too.

00:26:50Oh, don't misunderstand me, sir.

00:26:51I wouldn't dream of saying anything uncomplimentary.

00:26:53When her uncle, Tugan Billings,

00:26:55cashed in and left this place to Cape,

00:26:57a couple of hungries tried to put their brand on her.

00:27:00They finished up at the best necktie party

00:27:02Fractured Jaw ever seen.

00:27:05Oh, well, I'm a stranger here.

00:27:07I'm not altogether familiar with your local customs

00:27:09or the type of parties you have.

00:27:11Say something against Cape and you'll learn all about him.

00:27:14So long as you're filling up space at the bar,

00:27:16are you drinking?

00:27:18Don't seem to be, do I?

00:27:20Glass of sherry, please.

00:27:22Oh, very dry.

00:27:24Mister, we got whiskey and we got water.

00:27:28We don't serve water.

00:27:30Doesn't offer me much choice, does it?

00:27:32Nothing, thank you.

00:27:35Howdy, Pete. How's it for you?

00:27:41Yeah, you and Doc close.

00:27:42Buried him last Sunday.

00:27:44You know about that fella?

00:27:45Wonder what the stagecoach driver told me.

00:27:47You're the mayor of this town.

00:27:49Seems to me you ought to find out

00:27:50when a new gun comes in if he's going to make trouble.

00:27:52That's the sheriff's job, not mine.

00:27:54Since you ain't got no sheriff, it's your job now.

00:27:57All you gotta do is go over and ask him if he's Lazy S.

00:28:00He was supposed, he don't want to tell me.

00:28:02We made a deal.

00:28:03Boxed him in town three days a week,

00:28:05Lazy S three days, and Sunday quiet.

00:28:07He's Lazy S, he's got no business here today.

00:28:10Just cut off the coach.

00:28:12I got a right to know, masters.

00:28:14If he's Lazy S, the next time we find him in town on our day,

00:28:18there'll be shooting.

00:28:19Well, I'll try to find out.

00:28:22But don't you start nothing, you hear me?

00:28:28Here.

00:28:30Howdy, stranger.

00:28:31How do you do?

00:28:32Tibbs is my name.

00:28:33Masters is my name.

00:28:34I'm the mayor of this here town.

00:28:36I also run the general emporium.

00:28:38That is six days a week, and on the seventh,

00:28:40I preach the holy gospel.

00:28:42Glad to meet you, sir.

00:28:43Yeah.

00:28:44This here's a friendly town, mister,

00:28:46and we don't ask no questions.

00:28:48No, sir.

00:28:49From what I've encountered,

00:28:50you'd only be confused by the answers.

00:28:52Of course.

00:28:53The man don't mind telling us what his business is.

00:28:56Oh, not at all.

00:28:57I'm in the gun business.

00:28:58Uh, yeah.

00:29:00Uh, come here.

00:29:02You're, uh, Tedding with the Lazy S, I suppose.

00:29:05Yes, sir.

00:29:06I intend to call on them tomorrow morning.

00:29:08So just remember, I didn't ask no questions.

00:29:11Of course, sir.

00:29:12You didn't have to give no answers.

00:29:14I hope you enjoy your stay in Fractured Jaw,

00:29:17and just remember that we don't take sides here.

00:29:20Me in particular.

00:29:22Very particular.

00:29:25Have a drink with him.

00:29:27Lazy S gunslinger, all right.

00:29:30That's what I figured.

00:29:32He's going out there tomorrow,

00:29:34so don't you start no trouble in town today, you hear me?

00:29:37You know I won't start no trouble.

00:29:39Anyway, I'm shoving out of here right now.

00:29:48Wait till I'm gone so I'm not mixed up in it.

00:29:51Then take her.

00:29:59When Susan left her home in Carolina

00:30:03And sailed around the Horn in 49

00:30:07Susan brought along a pick and shovel

00:30:10So her intentions were quite obviously fine

00:30:15But she wasn't in Frisco a day

00:30:21When she threw the pick and shovel away

00:30:25My, oh my, oh my, oh my

00:30:29If the San Francisco Hills could only talk

00:30:32If the San Francisco Hills could only talk

00:30:36They would let us in on every little thing

00:30:40How she got the gold that she didn't bring

00:30:44The horses and the carriage and the diamond ring

00:30:48That she wears wherever she goes

00:30:52My, oh my, oh my, oh my

00:30:56If the San Francisco Hills could only talk

00:30:59If the San Francisco Hills could only talk

00:31:03We would have the answer that we'd like to get

00:31:07How she moved right in on the upper set

00:31:11And never even got her little finger wet

00:31:14Or been dressed in westerner clothes

00:31:18Susan, Susan, really it's amusing

00:31:22In Carolina Susan would get out and walk

00:31:26But from everything we hear you would button up your ear

00:31:30If the San Francisco Hills could only talk

00:31:34Susan, Susan, really it's amusing

00:31:38In Carolina Susan would get out and walk

00:31:44And whoever bears her name

00:31:47They would hang their heads in shame

00:31:51If the San Francisco Hills could only talk

00:32:00I say, she's magnificent.

00:32:08Waiter, can you manage a pot of tea and a chicken sandwich?

00:32:11No, we ain't got none.

00:32:14I ain't seen you in weeks. Where you been?

00:32:17I've been in school.

00:32:19Well, what do you know?

00:32:23What do you know?

00:32:45How do you like our little nightingale?

00:32:48Miss Kate? Oh, absolutely first class.

00:32:52Then you'll drink to her.

00:32:55Oh, all right. Well, that's extremely kind of you.

00:32:59Thank you very much. Good health.

00:33:02And to Miss Kate, eh?

00:33:11No, really.

00:33:13Drink it.

00:33:15No, really.

00:33:17I said drink it.

00:33:22Mmm.

00:33:29I say, I really couldn't, really.

00:33:32Are you telling me you won't drink with me?

00:33:35No, not at all, but, you know...

00:33:37Drink it.

00:33:38In the middle of the night and on an empty stomach and...

00:33:40Drink it.

00:33:41Oh, yes.

00:33:43Mmm.

00:33:49Well, I must say, as I told our friend,

00:33:52I'm not altogether familiar with the local customs,

00:33:55but this does seem a bit much.

00:33:57Let's see how big a man you really are.

00:34:00Oh, you mean it's a sort of contest?

00:34:02May the best man win and all that sort of thing?

00:34:06All right. I'm game.

00:34:14You know, it's a funny thing, but...

00:34:16after the first one or two,

00:34:18it doesn't feel so much like drinking a porcupine.

00:34:23Or does it?

00:34:26Keep drinking.

00:34:28No, no, no, no, no, sir.

00:34:30I insist. It's my turn.

00:34:34There.

00:34:38Oh, good heavens.

00:34:40Barman, another glass for my drinking friend here.

00:34:43I insist, sir. It's my turn to pay.

00:34:45You can't abuse the laws of hospitality.

00:34:48Here we are.

00:34:50Now, then.

00:34:51Good luck.

00:34:53Cheers.

00:34:57Extraordinary.

00:34:59Oh, when in Rome...

00:35:03You dirty, stinking, poor cat! Reach!

00:35:07Johnny!

00:35:11Bang!

00:35:22Great Scott.

00:35:24What's the trouble?

00:35:28It's Kena.

00:35:30When I heard the shooting, I figured you'd cast your chips in him.

00:35:33Good heavens, no.

00:35:35I was having a sociable drink with my friend...

00:35:37when this man pulled a gun out and shot him.

00:35:39Johnny, hit it out of town till he's buried.

00:35:42All right, boys, break it up.

00:35:44Check best to get rid of him.

00:35:46But there's a dead man down here.

00:35:48Ah.

00:35:49Come on, everybody, drinks on the house for all of us.

00:35:56I never see Kena look so peaceful before.

00:35:59How can you, sir, as mayor of this town, permit such a thing to happen?

00:36:02I told the boys to do their gunning out in the open,

00:36:05shooting matches in a crowded saloon like this can be dangerous.

00:36:08Some innocent bystander might get hurt.

00:36:10Haven't you got any laws?

00:36:12Sure, we got more laws you can shake a stick at.

00:36:14The only thing is, we ain't got nobody to enforce them.

00:36:17I hate to think what them box tea boys will do...

00:36:19when they find out about this killing.

00:36:21Well, this is preposterous. Good heavens.

00:36:23Haven't you got a constabulary?

00:36:26A constabulary?

00:36:28A constabulary, a guardian of the law, a bobby...

00:36:30Oh, you mean a sheriff.

00:36:32Well, whatever the man's called out here who sees the law...

00:36:34Minister, we've been trying to get us a sheriff for a long time...

00:36:37but we can't get nobody to take the job.

00:36:39If you could find us a sheriff, we'd be mighty grateful to you.

00:36:42I've never heard anything like this before in all my life.

00:36:45It's the duty of every citizen not to shirk his civic responsibility.

00:36:49Yeah, that's right.

00:36:51Oh, would you, uh...

00:36:53would you care for a drink?

00:36:55Delighted. Good health, sir.

00:36:57Same to you.

00:36:59Mmm.

00:37:01You know, this stuff isn't too bad...

00:37:03when it burns away the nerve ends.

00:37:05That's a good one.

00:37:07What were we talking about?

00:37:08The sheriff, yes.

00:37:10Ah, indeed. Now, it's vital.

00:37:12It's vital, sir.

00:37:14Select your man, go up to him, look at him square in the eyes...

00:37:17speak to him with a firm tone, and don't take no for an answer.

00:37:20It never fails, my dear sir.

00:37:22It never fails.

00:37:24And would that be the way to talk to a man like yourself, for instance?

00:37:27Absolutely.

00:37:29You mean just walk right up to him and say...

00:37:31looky here, mister, this here town needs a sheriff...

00:37:34and you're gonna be it?

00:37:36Jolly good. Jolly good.

00:37:38Mister, you've talked yourself into a job.

00:37:41Welcome to Fractured Jaw.

00:37:44Sheriff Tibbs.

00:38:00Crack.

00:38:13Crack.

00:38:30Sheriff Tibbs.

00:38:33These is all that was left of Sheriff Dalton...

00:38:36Sheriff Harper, and Sheriff Baines.

00:38:39If any of them fit you, good luck.

00:38:41Respectfully yours, Doc Masters.

00:38:44Yes, their duty done, they rest in peace.

00:39:00Heh, heh.

00:39:02See him, Sheriff?

00:39:04Now, Kate, don't you go getting all hot and bothered...

00:39:06about this here fellow being a sheriff.

00:39:08I tell you, he'll make a great sheriff.

00:39:10He ain't nothing but a gunman, after all...

00:39:12and he's quicker than greased lightning on the draw.

00:39:15And last night, I seen him stand up at that there bar...

00:39:18and drink a lot of these cowpokes under the table...

00:39:20and walk out of here sober as a judge.

00:39:22I tell you, I do like me a drinking sheriff...

00:39:25that can hold his liquor.

00:39:27Oh, good morning, good morning, Sheriff.

00:39:29That's just what I wanted to see you about.

00:39:31Well, everybody in town feels a heap sight safer...

00:39:34now that you're in charge of things, Sheriff.

00:39:36I am not the sheriff.

00:39:37Well, sure, sure you are.

00:39:39You see that gun rack there?

00:39:41We passed an ordinance last spring...

00:39:43saying that nobody could wear guns inside Frank's jaw...

00:39:46not even the mayor.

00:39:48I don't know anything about the laws your council passed last spring.

00:39:50All I know is that this is completely ridiculous.

00:39:52How can I be a sheriff?

00:39:54I'm not a citizen of this town.

00:39:55I'm not even a citizen of this country.

00:39:57As mayor of Fractured Jaw...

00:39:59I hereby exercise my civil rights and prerogatives...

00:40:03and I appoint you a citizen of the United States of America...

00:40:07and I make you sheriff of Fractured Jaw.

00:40:10There, there you be.

00:40:13Now, you can have as many deputies as you like.

00:40:16That is provided you can find any men that'll serve with you.

00:40:18Now, listen to me, my dear mayor.

00:40:20Quite apart from all the idiocies of last night...

00:40:22this is absolutely absurd.

00:40:24I'm here on business. Guns.

00:40:26That's all right. That's all right.

00:40:28We don't care about that.

00:40:30Everything will be perfectly legal...

00:40:32as long as you're wearing that badge.

00:40:34Cold feet, friend?

00:40:36No, quite warm, thank you.

00:40:37Big talk of it when it comes to backing it up.

00:40:40Oh, well, Miss Cade, really, this is just a little misunderstanding.

00:40:42Is it? I'll get the coffee.

00:40:44Oh, thank you so much. I could do with a cup.

00:40:46My head doesn't feel too strong this morning.

00:40:49Mr. Mayor...

00:40:51do you get the impression that she isn't terribly fond of me?

00:40:53Well, you see, Cade, she only likes folks...

00:40:55that pays far and square...

00:40:57because that's the way she pays herself.

00:40:59We don't seem to hit it off too well.

00:41:01Well, she wants a good man for sheriff...

00:41:03just like the rest of us.

00:41:05Don't worry. She'll cotton to you, all right.

00:41:07Just give her time.

00:41:09All the same, I wish she wouldn't look at me as though her stomach were turning over.

00:41:11I'll tell you what.

00:41:13You come on over and sit in on the poker game...

00:41:15and give her a chance to know you better.

00:41:17When does she play?

00:41:19Play? Why, man, she invented the game.

00:41:21Bellas, Carson, Jenks, this here's Tibbs.

00:41:23He's our new sheriff.

00:41:25Come on, boy, come on.

00:41:27He's a new hand at the game...

00:41:29but he wants to set in on it just the same.

00:41:31Hello.

00:41:33All right, sheriff.

00:41:35Here you are. I'll stake you.

00:41:37You can pay me back after the game.

00:41:39Cut him, Frenchy.

00:41:41All right, they're coming out.

00:41:43I have played a little, you know.

00:41:45Where'd you play?

00:41:47I met two gentlemen at St. Louis...

00:41:49the rudiments of the game.

00:41:51Oh, the what?

00:41:53Rudiments.

00:41:55All right, King Betts.

00:41:57All right, Frenchy, it's up to you.

00:41:59Three bucks.

00:42:01Three bucks. You in?

00:42:03You in?

00:42:05All right, come on, let's get rolling here, boys.

00:42:07Three dollars there, sheriff.

00:42:09All right.

00:42:11Come on out, boys.

00:42:13It's too bad that missed you, ain't it?

00:42:15There's a queen.

00:42:17I have a pair, Mr. Mayor.

00:42:19All right, you bet, Mr. Mayor.

00:42:21Two...

00:42:23More?

00:42:25Four. Thanks, partner.

00:42:27Four. I raise you four, gentlemen.

00:42:29Four silver dollars.

00:42:31Four dollars, and you in?

00:42:33I'm in.

00:42:35What do you say, boys?

00:42:37What do you say?

00:42:39Raise you five.

00:42:41Man raises you five.

00:42:43I raise you five, sir.

00:42:45Are you done betting, boys?

00:42:47All right, hold it.

00:42:49Coming out.

00:42:51A nine.

00:42:53A seven.

00:42:55I bet out between you.

00:42:57I'm to bet.

00:42:59Pair of deuces is still high.

00:43:01I go...

00:43:03Six.

00:43:05I raise you six.

00:43:07Man bets six dollars.

00:43:09He sees you.

00:43:11Okay, what do you got?

00:43:13A pair of sixes.

00:43:15Three twos.

00:43:17And, gentlemen, I think the pot is mine.

00:43:19Take it away.

00:43:21Thank you, partner. Well done, indeed.

00:43:23Double snort, chick.

00:43:25Right.

00:43:27You see that fellow over there?

00:43:29That's Bud Wilkins,

00:43:31lazy-ass gunslinger.

00:43:33He's wearing a gun.

00:43:35Well, obviously, if he's a slinger.

00:43:37Well, go take it off him.

00:43:39He said we got us a sheriff now.

00:43:41Oh.

00:43:43Well, I'll advise him.

00:43:45That's the least I can do.

00:43:47Pardon, gentlemen.

00:43:51So you're the new sheriff.

00:43:53New, indeed.

00:43:55I heard you ain't allowing guns in Fractured Jaw.

00:43:57The ruling isn't mine.

00:43:59I'm merely the custodian of the law.

00:44:01You gonna take away a man's gun?

00:44:03Let's just say a chap hands it over

00:44:05when he's advised of the regulations, eh?

00:44:07I heard about you, so maybe you heard about me.

00:44:09I'm Wilkins.

00:44:11I come to have you take my gun.

00:44:13Well, how do you do? Tibbs is my name.

00:44:17All right.

00:44:19You got the drop on me this time.

00:44:21But I'm coming back.

00:44:23And next time, I won't be alone.

00:44:25Ah, Mr. Bud.

00:44:27Don't forget your gun.

00:44:29There's no law against wearing it

00:44:31if you're leaving town.

00:44:33That's a tough sheriff.

00:44:35Remarkable, the effect this has.

00:44:41See?

00:44:43How do you do?

00:44:45The quickest draw I see

00:44:47in 50 years.

00:44:49Sheriff, the way you handled that dam

00:44:51should make my old grandpappy

00:44:53turn over in his grave.

00:44:55I say, do you think so?

00:44:57Does work rather well, doesn't it?

00:44:59It sure does.

00:45:01Say, how about you coming into my office?

00:45:03Boy,

00:45:05I never thought I'd live to see the day

00:45:07when Bud Wilkins would give up his gun to...

00:45:09Show off fast on the draw with that gun, mister.

00:45:11How do you work it?

00:45:13Well, you see, it's on a spring.

00:45:15When I straighten my arm, it pops out.

00:45:17Oh, well, it should pop out into my hand.

00:45:19It must need some adjustment.

00:45:21Say, you know, I'd like to have one of them

00:45:23to wear in my garden.

00:45:25Great Scott.

00:45:27I say.

00:45:29Well, of course, you could have mine,

00:45:31for wearing it on that limb,

00:45:33you'd be obliged to pull the trigger with your toe.

00:45:35You let me worry about that.

00:45:37How much you take for it?

00:45:39I should be honored if you'd accept it as a gift.

00:45:41Oh, no, no, I couldn't take it.

00:45:43Oh, no, really, I've got others.

00:45:45This is just a sample.

00:45:47No.

00:45:49There we are.

00:45:51Well, thank you.

00:45:53Thank you.

00:45:55You know, you're not a bad sort of fella.

00:45:57Well, you needn't worry about accidents.

00:45:59Of course.

00:46:01What? You mean to tell me

00:46:03you went up against Bud Wilkins with an empty gun?

00:46:05Well, you don't think I'd go around

00:46:07with a bullet in it?

00:46:09The silly thing just popped out in my hand.

00:46:11I didn't mean to frighten Mr. Wilkins,

00:46:13although I imagine it did have that effect.

00:46:15Tell me, are you tired of living

00:46:17or just plain stupid?

00:46:19Oh, now, really, Miss Kate.

00:46:21Here, take it back quickly.

00:46:23No, I wouldn't dream of it. I've made you a present.

00:46:25One of us must be crazy.

00:46:27What happens if some gunslinger draws on you?

00:46:29Well, why should they?

00:46:31I've no quarrel with anyone.

00:46:33Only with the lazy ass

00:46:35because Bud Wilkins will get them all riled up.

00:46:37And with the boxed tea outfit

00:46:39because you got mixed up in Keno's killing.

00:46:41Oh, I do think you're exaggerating.

00:46:43After all, that chap Wilkins offered me his gun

00:46:45before he saw the derringer.

00:46:47And that's that poor fella who got shot last night.

00:46:49Well, we were the best of friends,

00:46:51drinking together and all that sort of thing.

00:46:53I've seen some strange

00:46:55characters in my time,

00:46:57but you take the prize.

00:46:59And you know,

00:47:01I've never met anyone like you either.

00:47:03I hope you won't mind if I say it,

00:47:05but I find you simply enchanting.

00:47:07Let's say

00:47:09I find you different anyway.

00:47:11Well, that's a beginning, isn't it?

00:47:13Say,

00:47:15what are you doing in Fractured Jaw?

00:47:17I represent the firm

00:47:19of Tibbs & Company, Gunsmiths,

00:47:21St. James's, London.

00:47:23I'm here to sell firearms.

00:47:25Well, at least you should know how to handle a gun.

00:47:27That could keep you alive for a little while.

00:47:29Hmm.

00:47:31Well, I don't see why skill with a gun

00:47:33should be so frightfully important,

00:47:35but if it is to you, I suppose I could learn.

00:47:37Tibbs,

00:47:39I've just decided something.

00:47:41Oh?

00:47:43I'm going to teach you to shoot.

00:47:45It won't do any good,

00:47:47but at least I won't be blaming myself

00:47:49at your funeral.

00:47:51Now, listen to me and try to understand.

00:47:53I wouldn't give two cents

00:47:55for your chances of living to be one day older

00:47:57than you are right now,

00:47:59but I've always had a soft spot in my heart

00:48:01for a tender foot,

00:48:03so I'll do what I can to help you.

00:48:05I never thought I'd appreciate

00:48:07being taught how to handle a gun,

00:48:09but it's wonderful of you to offer.

00:48:11I'm not asking for your thanks.

00:48:13Personally, I think I'm weak in the head to even bother.

00:48:15Now, come on.

00:48:17Shall I bring one of my own guns?

00:48:19Is there a target range nearby?

00:48:21No, and if there was, we wouldn't use it.

00:48:23Nobody's supposed to know you can't shoot

00:48:25or you won't live long enough to take a lesson.

00:48:27Can you ride?

00:48:29I don't know. I've never really tried,

00:48:31but I can handle a pair of horses,

00:48:33and if it's any help, I ask that porter chap of yours

00:48:35to load my gun cases onto a carriage

00:48:37so that I can call on the trade this morning.

00:48:39Well, that'll do.

00:48:43Morning, Miss Kate. Morning, Sheriff.

00:48:45Good morning, sir. Good morning to you.

00:48:47Good morning. Allow me, my lady.

00:48:49Yeah.

00:48:53There we are.

00:48:55Morning, ma'am. Morning, Sheriff. Good morning.

00:48:57Good morning, sir. Good morning, Sheriff.

00:48:59How do you do, sir? How do you do?

00:49:01Good morning, Sheriff.

00:49:03Morning, ma'am.

00:49:05Good morning, Sheriff.

00:49:07Morning, Sheriff.

00:49:09Howdy, Sheriff.

00:49:13They're a friendly lot, aren't they?

00:49:15They're happy.

00:49:17They think they've got a sheriff.

00:49:19You know, at first I didn't take

00:49:21this sheriff business too seriously,

00:49:23but now... Hi, Sheriff.

00:49:25Good morning.

00:49:27You know, it's rather a nice feeling.

00:49:29It makes one feel good, even a bit important.

00:49:33Oh, you'll probably draw one of the biggest crowds

00:49:35we ever had...

00:49:37in there.

00:49:45Whoa!

00:49:49Well, this looks pretty good.

00:50:01We're here to teach you to shoot.

00:50:03Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

00:50:09Well...

00:50:11Well...

00:50:13You see that?

00:50:21You see?

00:50:23Extraordinary.

00:50:25Watch the gun.

00:50:27Oh, right you are.

00:50:34I say you are marvelous.

00:50:38Now you try it.

00:50:40All right.

00:50:46Oh, dear.

00:50:48That wasn't very good, was it?

00:50:50It wouldn't have been bad if you were hunting rabbits.

00:50:52Now try it again

00:50:54and hold your wrist steady.

00:50:58Look where you're shooting.

00:51:02Maybe I should have said

00:51:04shoot where you're looking.

00:51:06I'm not likely to win the first prize, am I?

00:51:08Oh, give yourself a little time.

00:51:10Here, I'll help you. Come on.

00:51:12Now...

00:51:14squeeze...

00:51:16the trigger.

00:51:20Well, that was a bit better.

00:51:22If only you could come along

00:51:24and hold my wrist every time I have to shoot.

00:51:26Now you try it all by yourself.

00:51:28Right.

00:51:31Kate,

00:51:33you must think I'm a blithering idiot.

00:51:37Forget it.

00:51:39Not exactly what you'd call a howling success.

00:51:42I've come all this way to sell guns

00:51:44and I don't even know how to fire them.

00:51:46So you don't know guns?

00:51:48How do you think I'd be pouring tea for Lord Watson

00:51:50in a London drawing room?

00:51:52Enchanted.

00:51:54You know,

00:51:56I've never been east of Dodge City.

00:51:58Never been to a real theater.

00:52:00You'll laugh,

00:52:02but I ain't ever seen a man in evening clothes.

00:52:04They're not very different in evening clothes.

00:52:07You know, Jonathan,

00:52:09much as I love my home out here,

00:52:11sometimes I feel like

00:52:13I'd just like to throw my hand in.

00:52:15What for?

00:52:17For a little of your kind of life

00:52:19with your kind of people

00:52:21and a little of mine.

00:52:23For a little of your kind of life

00:52:25with your kind of people

00:52:27and a few of the things in the outside world

00:52:29I don't know nothing about.

00:52:31Hmm.

00:52:33You might not like all that you find, Kate.

00:52:35I'd take a chance on that.

00:52:37Would you?

00:52:39I sure would. I'd be out of here quicker

00:52:41and you could draw that dare and enjoy yours.

00:52:43But why am I telling you all this?

00:52:45To make me feel a little less the fool.

00:52:48Because anything you say to me,

00:52:50I want to hear.

00:52:53This is silly.

00:52:55Come on.

00:53:01Come on. I'll teach you to shoot.

00:53:03I'll never be any good at it.

00:53:05And I'll never pour tea for Lord Watsis.

00:53:08Lord Watsis will never know what he's missing.

00:53:11The gun's reloaded.

00:53:13Is it?

00:53:15Six bullets.

00:53:17That's why they call them six shooters.

00:53:19That's clever.

00:53:21I've seen your rifle, too.

00:53:23Have you?

00:53:25Oh, the latest model.

00:53:27I'll show it to you when we get back to...

00:53:29Why don't you kiss me?

00:53:31I'd like to see that.

00:53:33Oh, Kate.

00:53:37Oh.

00:53:39Oh, I beg your pardon.

00:53:41Oh, that's all right.

00:53:52I ain't looking for you, Doc.

00:53:54I'm looking for the new sheriff.

00:53:56I want him to know that I'm in town and carrying a gun.

00:53:58Yeah? You know, you're a lucky fella. Mighty lucky.

00:54:01How come?

00:54:03Our new sheriff's out of town.

00:54:05You'd be a dead man by now if he wasn't.

00:54:07Me? More likely him.

00:54:09Him? Say, our new sheriff could give Wild Bill Hickok...

00:54:12first draw and beat him to the kill.

00:54:14You hear and tell about them fellas...

00:54:16can shoot the middle out of the ace of spades.

00:54:18Well, our new sheriff can shoot the middle out of the middle.

00:54:20Oh, I don't believe it.

00:54:22You don't, eh?

00:54:24Another one of you lazy-ass cowpokes...

00:54:26was in here earlier in the day, Bud Wilkins.

00:54:28You ask him.

00:54:30Bud Wilkins? You mean he took Bud Wilkins?

00:54:32Just like he was a little boy.

00:54:34Don't take my word for it.

00:54:36Just hang around. He'll be back soon.

00:54:38And get yourself a big rep by going up against him.

00:54:40Well, I ain't got time now, but I'll be back.

00:54:43Yes, sir. I'll be back.

00:54:45I'll tell the sheriff you was here looking for him.

00:55:01Jonathan?

00:55:03Yes?

00:55:05Oh, nothing. I'd just like to say your name.

00:55:11Tell me, Kate.

00:55:13Tell me, Kate.

00:55:15Can a man support a wife on a sheriff's salary?

00:55:18Sheriffs don't have wives.

00:55:20They have widows.

00:55:22Well, if that's the procedure out here...

00:55:24you're going to make a very charming widow.

00:55:26Jonathan, when you're planted in Boothill...

00:55:30will any fair lady from London...

00:55:32come and place flowers on your grave?

00:55:35Ah, we won't talk about the past.

00:55:38My future's out here...

00:55:40with you.

00:55:42Well, if that's an English proposal...

00:55:44I'll accept.

00:55:46Hey!

00:55:51Hey!

00:55:53Hey!

00:55:55Kate, Kate, Kate!

00:56:00Jonathan!

00:56:12As I sing to the hills

00:56:16In the valley of love

00:56:21I love you

00:56:25I love you

00:56:29Comes a voice from the hills

00:56:33To the valley of love

00:56:38I love you

00:56:42I love you

00:56:46When I laugh

00:56:50When I cry

00:56:54We're so in love

00:56:57The hills and I

00:57:03So I stray every day

00:57:08To the valley of love

00:57:13I love you

00:57:17I love you

00:57:21When I laugh

00:57:25When I cry

00:57:30We're so in love

00:57:33The hills and I

00:57:37Hills and I

00:57:41So I stray every day

00:57:45To the valley of love

00:57:50I love you

00:57:54I love you

00:57:58I love you

00:58:13Better take that thing off...

00:58:15before somebody uses it for target practice.

00:58:17Tonight I'll ask the mayor to find a replacement.

00:58:19Tonight could be too late.

00:58:21Well, I can't just walk away...

00:58:23even though I'm not much good as a sheriff.

00:58:25Don't walk, run!

00:58:27Now, that wouldn't be a very sporting thing to do, would it?

00:58:30Nobody in Fractured Joe ever heard of a sporting thing...

00:58:33and you're being a bull-headed jackass.

00:58:35Whoa!

00:58:37Thanks for the vote of confidence.

00:58:39Why, you no good.

00:58:41Contrary, unreasonable!

00:58:43Mother!

00:58:55Bet they don't teach my kind of English in your schools.

00:58:58Then that shows a great weakness...

00:59:00in the English educational system.

00:59:02You're kind of sweet.

00:59:04Come on, no spot of tea...

00:59:06but I could be talking upon you a spot of coffee.

00:59:08I'd love it. I have a job to do.

00:59:10Such as?

00:59:12Sporting guns.

00:59:14At first it was just because of the family tradition and all that rot.

00:59:17But now...

00:59:19I'll need the money to start a family tradition on my own.

00:59:22And I'm gonna love that tradition.

00:59:25I've never sold anything before.

00:59:27I suppose the first thing you do is to call on the local merchant.

00:59:30Do you shoot that thing or just hang it on the wall?

00:59:32What do you mean?

00:59:34Oh, you're not gonna try and sell that antique round here.

00:59:37Antique?

00:59:39My dear Kate, it's absolutely brand new.

00:59:41It's a gentleman's sporting gun.

00:59:43Jonathan, listen. In fact, your jar of guns ain't for sport...

00:59:46unless you make a hobby of killing people.

00:59:48Then Tim's gun should make a welcome change.

00:59:51Must be some gentleman farmers hereabouts.

00:59:53They might like to have a go at shooting a bird or two.

00:59:55Only farmers around these parts are the squatters south of town.

00:59:59All right, then. Squatters it is.

01:00:01Why, the laugh in your face!

01:00:03Kate...

01:00:05I came out here to sell guns...

01:00:07and I'm determined to find someone who'll buy them.

01:00:09I couldn't fall in love with a local idiot.

01:00:11I had to pick an international one.

01:00:13All right, go ahead and get yourself shot up if you want to.

01:00:15Goodbye.

01:00:26Whoa!

01:00:28They ain't going anywhere, Sheriff.

01:00:30They're just heading for the water truck.

01:00:32We ain't never met. I'm Hank Barnes. This here's my place.

01:00:35How'd you do?

01:00:37I'd say you were about 5 foot 11 inches tall, weigh 170 pounds.

01:00:41Am I right?

01:00:43Well, just about.

01:00:45You know, my wife and I had an argument...

01:00:47when you rode out of town this morning.

01:00:49She said you were only 5'10", 160.

01:00:51Oh?

01:00:53I always like to find out these things in advance...

01:00:55then I can give you a real good job.

01:00:57Thanks, Sheriff.

01:00:59Don't mention it.

01:01:07Come on.

01:01:32Good morning, madam.

01:01:34My name is Tibbs.

01:01:36Is the gentleman of the house in?

01:01:38Luke's in, but he's eating.

01:01:40Oh, yes, of course. Well, I'll wait.

01:01:42Might as well come in and say it.

01:01:44Oh, thank you.

01:01:46I won't be a moment.

01:01:54Charming little cottage you have here.

01:02:00After you, ma'am.

01:02:03Ooh, allow me.

01:02:14How'd you do?

01:02:16Luke don't hear good while he's eating.

01:02:18Oh.

01:02:20Oh, well, that's perfectly all right.

01:02:32Luke don't talk much while he's eating.

01:02:34Oh, I see.

01:02:36May I?

01:02:38Thank you.

01:02:44Hello.

01:02:48Baby don't talk much even when it ain't eating.

01:02:50Ah.

01:02:52Charming little baby girl.

01:02:54Ain't a girl.

01:02:56It's a buck.

01:02:58A buck.

01:03:00Yes.

01:03:04For how long does he generally eat?

01:03:06Luke don't mind listening while he's eating.

01:03:08Oh, I see.

01:03:10Oh, in that case, sir, my name is Tibbs.

01:03:12I represent Tibbs and Company,

01:03:14gunsmiths and armorers of St. James's Street, London.

01:03:16My card.

01:03:22Now, sir,

01:03:24we have supplied the best gentleman's arms

01:03:26since 1605.

01:03:28And, sir, I am confident

01:03:30that I can supply you with a fouling piece

01:03:32that you would be proud to own.

01:03:34And you can tell at a glance

01:03:36that this is as fine a, uh,

01:03:3816-bore shotgun as anyone could wish for.

01:03:44Luke's through eating.

01:03:50Why, you are a young crow.

01:03:52You might have blowed me head off.

01:03:54Golly, get him out of here, man.

01:03:56I'll keep him out of the way.

01:03:58Oh, darn it, look at that.

01:04:00Cost me two bits, the last one I got now.

01:04:02Oh, golly, darn it.

01:04:04You bite any of them pups, and I'll lick the hide off you.

01:04:06You don't expect anybody

01:04:08to buy that junk, do you?

01:04:10Maybe pam it off on some fool red-skinned

01:04:12who don't own a better.

01:04:14Junk? I beg your pardon, sir.

01:04:16Now, if you were selling a cannon, I'd sure buy one.

01:04:18Maybe keep them cow punchers from shooting up my place.

01:04:20Tibbs and Company

01:04:22do not manufacture a cannon.

01:04:24Hey, hey, before you go, come on over here.

01:04:26I want to show you something.

01:04:28Now, look.

01:04:30My land lays smack in the middle

01:04:32between the Lazy S and the Box T.

01:04:34See that fellow over there?

01:04:36Yes.

01:04:38Now, he's Lazy S.

01:04:40Now, look over there.

01:04:42See that? Box T.

01:04:44Now, he'll spot the other fella

01:04:46just as he passes the rise.

01:04:48Watch.

01:04:54There you are.

01:04:56What'd I tell you?

01:04:58Bad shooting.

01:05:00Get out of the bed.

01:05:02But this is terrible.

01:05:04Those two men are trying to kill each other.

01:05:06No, they ain't both trying to kill each other.

01:05:08The other fella ain't got a chance.

01:05:10He's looking to clear out.

01:05:12And I doubt if he'll make it.

01:05:16Are you going to stand there

01:05:18and let that man get shot?

01:05:20No.

01:05:22Are you going to stand there and let that man get shot?

01:05:24Well, in the first place, I ain't standing.

01:05:26Because if a stray bullet comes this way,

01:05:28it ain't fussy as to whose head it bumps into.

01:05:30In the second place,

01:05:32it appears to me if anybody's going to tangle that Box T man,

01:05:34it rightly ought to be the sheriff.

01:05:36And I ain't the sheriff.

01:05:38How about you?

01:05:40Well, if you put it like that, I suppose.

01:05:42Come on.

01:05:44If I was you,

01:05:46I'd come in from back of that ride.

01:05:48A man with itchy trigger fingers

01:05:50sometimes don't wait to meet up

01:05:52with somebody who gets in his rifle sights.

01:05:54Apparently, it's my duty as sheriff

01:05:56to try and stop this violence.

01:05:58Although I can assure you

01:06:00I've little regard for either of these two chaps

01:06:02or for this part of the world if it comes to that.

01:06:04At least in England,

01:06:06they aim a decent gun at the bird that can't shoot back.

01:06:09You reckon we'll be seeing him again?

01:06:13Drop that gun!

01:06:15I'm the sheriff.

01:06:17The sheriff?

01:06:19I heard about you.

01:06:21I gather you're a member of the Brock Steelers.

01:06:23Yes, I am.

01:06:25I'm the sheriff.

01:06:27I'm the sheriff.

01:06:29I'm the sheriff.

01:06:31I'm the sheriff.

01:06:33I'm the sheriff.

01:06:35I'm the sheriff.

01:06:38I've heard of you.

01:06:40You're a member of the Brock Steelers.

01:06:42So?

01:06:44Now, you listen to me.

01:06:46As long as I continue to be sheriff,

01:06:48I'm going to use my authority

01:06:50to maintain law and order

01:06:52and heaven help any member of your organisation

01:06:54who indulges

01:06:56in rowdy or unlawful behaviour.

01:06:58And you can go back and tell that to your Headman.

01:07:00You mean to say

01:07:02you're tellin' the Brock Steelers how to act?

01:07:04Exactly!

01:07:06Claiborne and the boys will be glad to know for sure.

01:07:10Next time we meet, Sheriff, it's gonna be head-on.

01:07:14Hup!

01:07:16Hup!

01:07:18I've seen what you've done, Sheriff.

01:07:21Thanks. Don't mention it.

01:07:23With you on our side, the Box T will be mopped up in no time.

01:07:27My dear chap, I'm not on your side.

01:07:29Oh, so it's like that.

01:07:31I'm rapidly reaching the limits of my patience.

01:07:34And you lazy-ass chaps had better realize that if you want to avoid trouble.

01:07:38Okay, if that's the way you want it.

01:07:40You're talking pretty big now. Let's see how you act the next time.

01:08:00Many thanks.

01:08:03Eh, drop in any time. I ain't eating, Sheriff.

01:08:06Delighted, I'm sure. Good day to you, sir. Good day, ma'am.

01:08:13Come on.

01:08:19That Sheriff's a heap smarter than he looks.

01:08:22Yep. Well, you've ate, baby's ate, now I reckon I'll go eat.

01:08:32Come on, then!

01:08:38Look out!

01:08:43Look out!

01:08:50Come on!

01:09:02Whoa! Hey, look! I'll hold him!

01:09:05Whoa!

01:09:08Hey, look!

01:09:28All right, Doc, get it over with.

01:09:31All right, Doc, get it off your chest.

01:09:33Tell me he's gone out of town and he ain't coming back.

01:09:36Tell me I'm making a fool of myself.

01:09:39He's a stubborn and owner. He's a wall-eyed mule.

01:09:42And I'll let him go out in the Pecos country all by himself.

01:09:46And I'll probably never see him again.

01:09:49Why, don't you worry about that. He'll be back all right.

01:09:53You know, the good Lord, he looks after fools and Englishmen.

01:10:00Jesus.

01:10:08Here we go to no more. We'll test it out.

01:10:10Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

01:10:14How dare you?

01:10:16That's outrageous.

01:10:18You're taking advantage of the fact that you're a woman.

01:10:30Steady. That's below the belt.

01:11:00You're a lucky man.

01:11:02You call this lucky?

01:11:04You speak English.

01:11:06I was captured as a child and sent to a white man's school.

01:11:09Really? Where's that hat-lifter?

01:11:13Really, now.

01:11:15I seldom lose my temper, but that woman's manners are atrocious.

01:11:18Hello, sir. Haven't we met before?

01:11:20You gave him his life. Now he'll give you yours.

01:11:23Then I'm free to go. Oh, good.

01:11:26Well, goodbye, sir. Goodbye, gentlemen.

01:11:30What did he say?

01:11:32He said you're a brave man. He admires bravery, even in a white man.

01:11:35How charming.

01:11:41What did he say now?

01:11:43My father wishes to honor the brave white man.

01:11:45You're going to be adopted by the tribe and made his son.

01:11:48Oh, really? Adopted? Do I look like an Indian orphan?

01:11:52You'll be the son of a chief.

01:11:54I'll be the son of a...

01:11:56I'll have you know that as far back as you care to check,

01:11:59I'm not an Indian in the lot.

01:12:01Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen. You'll have to find yourself another boy.

01:12:07Now, please, this is quite ridiculous.

01:12:09I won't consider it for one moment. I'm sorry.

01:12:12Would you rather be a live Indian or a dead Englishman?

01:12:16Well?

01:12:18I'm thinking.

01:12:30Bravo!

01:12:32Well done.

01:12:38What's he say?

01:12:40He say it's your turn to source now.

01:12:42What? Oh, good heavens.

01:12:44But I've never been on a horse in my life.

01:12:47I refuse.

01:12:54What's he say?

01:12:56I'll burn you at stake and send to Abbey hunting grounds.

01:12:59I'll take the horse.

01:13:06Steady. There's a good horse.

01:13:08All right.

01:13:22Stand still. Stand still.

01:13:26Stand still.

01:13:36Now.

01:13:42Come on. Get over. Get over.

01:13:44That's a good boy. Come on now.

01:13:47Line up. Line up.

01:13:56Hmm.

01:14:03Do you mind?

01:14:27Aah!

01:14:45There we are, sir. I never knew I had it in me.

01:14:48Grandfather Digby couldn't have done better himself.

01:14:57What's he say?

01:14:59You're our blood brother. Your name is Fleet Ironhat.

01:15:02Oh, splendid. Thank you very much.

01:15:10Drink.

01:15:13Thank you.

01:15:15Good health, gentlemen.

01:15:17Hmm. It's quite flavorsome.

01:15:19What vintage?

01:15:21It is the blood from the heart of the wild buffalo.

01:15:24It gives you life and makes you strong.

01:15:32You must drink it all, or you die.

01:15:35If I drink it all, it's extremely unlikely that I'll live.

01:15:46You smoke pipe of peace.

01:15:50What's this, the hair of the wild buffalo to make me weak?

01:15:55Now we go to get the great reward.

01:15:58Reward?

01:16:24You pick one.

01:16:26What's this, another contest?

01:16:28The one to be your wife make fine squaw.

01:16:30Never work a day in your life.

01:16:32My dear old boy, I can't possibly pick one of these young ladies as a wife.

01:16:35It's hard to choose with three such fine maidens.

01:16:39Why not take them all?

01:16:41Three wives?

01:16:46What's he say?

01:16:48My father says these are too skinny. He'll find something better.

01:16:55Great Scott!

01:17:02My father says this will keep you warm in the winter.

01:17:05What about the summer?

01:17:07A brave can have many wives.

01:17:09Well, I'm not that brave.

01:17:11You know, gentlemen, it's very charming of you.

01:17:13I do appreciate it, but if you don't mind...

01:17:16I'd like a little more time to get used to the fact that I'm a new member of the family.

01:17:19In the meantime, when you change your mind and come home...

01:17:22your wives will be waiting.

01:17:24Thank you so much. It's most charming of you, sir.

01:17:26Well, I must get on my way now, if you don't mind.

01:17:28Goodbye, madam.

01:17:30Goodbye, my dear.

01:17:32Good luck. Good luck.

01:17:34I'm over here on business, you know.

01:17:36I sell guns.

01:17:38Guns?

01:17:41Very fine guns.

01:17:43Only these Americans won't appreciate the fact.

01:17:48The sheriff get back yet, Chick?

01:17:50No, I ain't seen him.

01:17:52We ain't seen him yet either.

01:17:54We sure would like to catch up with him.

01:17:56Why, you dirty, yellow-livered snakes.

01:17:59You're hunting them down in pairs now, huh?

01:18:01Well, let me tell you something.

01:18:03You'll be totin' no guns in my place.

01:18:06If you don't want to play by house rules, you get to both of you.

01:18:09Hit the trail. Get!

01:18:13And if you're here after sundown, I'll do some shootin' myself.

01:18:16And if you're here after sundown, I'll do some shootin' myself.

01:18:20Too bad they didn't hang you when they hung your brothers.

01:18:27You fixin' to bury somebody, Hank?

01:18:29New sheriff.

01:18:31Well, he ain't gone got himself killed already, has he?

01:18:33Not yet.

01:18:35Well, I seen him headin' out towards Injun country.

01:18:37I figure he's been gone long enough.

01:18:39So I better go out and pick him up.

01:18:42You, uh...

01:18:44lookin' for someone, Keith?

01:18:46Yeah.

01:18:49So is Hank.

01:18:57I caught up with that sheriff.

01:18:59I don't know why he didn't gun me down.

01:19:01He made it clear he's tied up with the lazy S.

01:19:04I figured that last night, but I didn't know they'd make him sheriff.

01:19:07Why, they got the law on their side now.

01:19:09I suppose he brings in a U.S. marshal or calls for cavalry.

01:19:12He won't have time. Round up the boys.

01:19:14We're ridin' into Fractured Jaw this afternoon.

01:19:16Why, the lazy S'll be in town.

01:19:18First we get the sheriff, and then we settle with the lazy S, once and for all.

01:19:22Hyah!

01:19:32Whoa!

01:19:35Hello, sir.

01:19:39More damn lives than a cat.

01:19:41Come on.

01:19:43Get up.

01:19:49Whoa.

01:19:52Whoa.

01:20:00Put those in my room, dear boy.

01:20:02Thank you.

01:20:09Peace offering.

01:20:11Oh.

01:20:13Well, it's just lovely.

01:20:15And so are you.

01:20:18Wait. When I was a little girl, I was taught to take my medicine without puttin' it off.

01:20:21You know, get it over with quick.

01:20:23Sign of a strong character.

01:20:25Well, here goes.

01:20:27I'm nasty, stubborn, and unreasonable.

01:20:29I got Barack to stamper this side of the Rockies,

01:20:31and, well, I behave just like an old witch.

01:20:35Well?

01:20:37Well, don't just sit there. I apologize, too, yes?

01:20:39I accept your apology.

01:20:42Is that all you've got to say?

01:20:44You mean you believed all those things I said about myself?

01:20:47Mm, with reservations.

01:20:49Why, you swell-headed, narrow-minded, stuffed shirt.

01:20:53If you had half the brains of a local coyote,

01:20:55then you'd know I was right in front of you.

01:20:57If you had half the brains of a local coyote,

01:20:59then you'd know I was right in everything I said to you this afternoon.

01:21:04Well? What are you thinkin'?

01:21:06I do hope our children take after me.

01:21:12You know what?

01:21:14I hope they do, too.

01:21:16But not the girls.

01:21:18Even the girls.

01:21:21Ah, now you're being stubborn.

01:21:23I'm just bein' in love.

01:21:25I haven't even told you about the good news.

01:21:27Oh, I react very well to good news.

01:21:29I've been showin' this all over town.

01:21:31Not the thingamajig, of course, just the gun.

01:21:34Everybody thinks he can be just as fast as you are,

01:21:37and they all want one.

01:21:39You can sell enough of these to make Tibbs & Company

01:21:42the biggest gun dealers in all the West.

01:21:44Kate, you're wonderful.

01:21:49Well, come in.

01:21:51Oh, howdy, Kate. Howdy, Sheriff.

01:21:53Yes, a mighty fine load of furs you got out there.

01:21:55Mighty fine. Why, thank you, sir.

01:21:57Yeah, you know, I run the general merchandise store here,

01:22:00and I got some good connections with fur buyers.

01:22:02I thought we might make a deal, that is, if you wouldn't mind to sell.

01:22:05You see, Kate, it's not very difficult to become a merchant.

01:22:08You'd trade guns for furs, then you'd sell the furs. Simple.

01:22:11Yeah.

01:22:13Mister, would you mind tellin' me where you traded them furs?

01:22:15Why, certainly, sir.

01:22:17I came across some chaps who were very eager for guns.

01:22:20Well, they couldn't seem to do enough for me.

01:22:22Indians. Indians?

01:22:24Yes, the sort of... I drove a hard bargain, even though I said myself.

01:22:27Oh, Jonathan, you couldn't have.

01:22:29Mister, that's just about the lowest thing a white man never done.

01:22:32You know, you ain't no better than a skunk.

01:22:34Why, thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head.

01:22:36Why shouldn't I, Kate?

01:22:38If the Indians have guns, they'll wipe us all out.

01:22:40That's nonsense.

01:22:43Look here, you.

01:22:45If there's any of us left alive in this here town

01:22:47after them Indians get through,

01:22:49we'll hang you to the nearest cottonwood.

01:22:52Trot along home and look after your various enterprises.

01:22:55There's a good chap.

01:22:57Kate, you don't understand.

01:22:59These Indians have made me a blood brother.

01:23:01I have their solemn promise not to use guns against white men.

01:23:03You can't believe him.

01:23:05Oh, there's no need to feel disturbed.

01:23:07I'm on very familiar terms with these men.

01:23:09Why, good heavens, we call each other by our first names.

01:23:11Good morning, running dear.

01:23:13Cheerio, Fleet Ironhat. I'm Fleet Ironhat.

01:23:16Renegade.

01:23:18Shut up. Don't you understand?

01:23:20You've done the one thing that's unforgivable.

01:23:22Any men in the territory, I'll shoot you down on sight.

01:23:24There's a bunch of them.

01:23:26Get to your first and string you up.

01:23:30Oh.

01:23:32Oh.

01:23:34Well, I really seem to have let the cat among the pigeons.

01:23:38Talk, talk. I hear tell they run away.

01:23:40Indians?

01:23:43Worse. The Box T. All of them riding toward town.

01:23:45It's the lazy ass day.

01:23:47I'm sure they'll be full of holes of fire.

01:23:49This yet time will be more full of holes than a woodpecker's nest.

01:23:51What on earth's happening?

01:23:53Them two ranchers will start shooting the minute they see each other.

01:23:55The only good thing about it is you might be in the middle.

01:23:57As for me, I'm hightailing it for the hills.

01:23:59All right, we're leaving.

01:24:01We are?

01:24:03Give me a few minutes to throw some things in a bag.

01:24:06You get packed.

01:24:08I'm not sure I care about this running away.

01:24:10You stay and you'll be carried away.

01:24:12Well, cowboys should be willing to listen to reason...

01:24:14the same as anyone else.

01:24:16Look, Jonathan. It's me, Kate.

01:24:18Not mad, no temper.

01:24:20For the first time in my life, I'm scared to death.

01:24:22Really?

01:24:25Scared for you.

01:24:27You know, I always wanted to live in Chicago or New York or even London.

01:24:29But now I don't care where.

01:24:31We go just so long as it's away from here fast.

01:24:33If you want to settle in America or England...

01:24:35or even at the North Pole, well, that's for me too.

01:24:37I won't be long.

01:24:40Come on.

01:24:42Fill her up, Tick. Fill her up.

01:24:44Because when that fighting's tossed...

01:24:46there won't be a drop of liquor left and fractured jaw.

01:24:48And as a saint, there ain't gonna be none where I'm heading.

01:24:50Just put this here on my bill.

01:24:52I may live to pay it, and I may not.

01:24:54Yeah.

01:24:56Well, Mr. Sheriff...

01:24:59you sure put your foot in it this time.

01:25:01This here town's apt to get wiped off the map.

01:25:03And I've got to go out and protect me and you.

01:25:05I'll be back.

01:25:07And I've got to go out and protect the innocent citizens.

01:25:10And that, my friend, is gonna take a heap of courage.

01:25:19Everybody clear the streets!

01:25:22Run for your lives! Take cover!

01:25:24The boxed tea and the lazy-ass outfits...

01:25:26are both coming to town at the same time.

01:25:28And the loaded cabarets!

01:25:30Hold on, everybody!

01:25:32Everybody clear the streets!

01:25:34Everybody clear the streets!

01:25:36Everybody take cover!

01:25:38Everybody take cover! Take cover!

01:25:40Hell's gonna be a-poppin' around here!

01:25:42Come on, pal. Let's hurry.

01:25:45Let's take them all up to the church.

01:25:47Get under cover!

01:25:49Well, I see you were a-figuring to run out on us too, eh?

01:25:52I beg your pardon?

01:25:54Sheriff kept this whole town looked up to.

01:25:56Loved you and respected you.

01:25:58But you fooled us, just like you fooled Miss Kate...

01:26:00hiding behind her petticoats.

01:26:02You're pretty fond of Kate, aren't you?

01:26:04Whoa! Whoa!

01:26:06Will you run along and tell her I shan't be long?

01:26:09I want to work with this, Ranchers.

01:26:11Come on. Come on.

01:26:19Hey! Hey!

01:26:21Yeah?

01:26:23You better hit your bed-hersy on again.

01:26:25This time you got you a dead sheriff for sure.

01:26:27I'll be right there!

01:26:35Oh.

01:26:39Kate, ain't no use your hurrying...

01:26:42the way that fella's done been and gone.

01:26:44Where?

01:26:46He said to tell you he'd be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail...

01:26:48but I got my doubts about that.

01:26:50Where'd he go?

01:26:52He went off to try and make peace between them crazy ranchers.

01:26:54That fella is either the dernest fool...

01:26:56or the bravest man in the world.

01:26:58I can't make up my mind which.

01:27:00Hey, move it!

01:27:03Get up!

01:27:05Get up!

01:27:17Get up! Get up!

01:27:19Get up there! Get up!

01:27:33Get up!

01:27:35Hey!

01:27:37Hey!

01:27:39Get up! Get up!

01:27:41Hey!

01:27:43Why'd the sheriff stop you from being shot?

01:27:46I don't know. Pretty handy with a gun.

01:27:48Could have filled me full of holes.

01:27:50Looks like he had a message.

01:27:52He used a lot of words, but he got it across.

01:27:54He says the lazy ass is heading for trouble.

01:27:56He ain't the first lawman tried to throw his weight around.

01:27:58He ain't the first lawman ever got killed, neither.

01:28:00Boys riding into town today?

01:28:03We usually do on Saturday.

01:28:05Well, have them ride in a bunch.

01:28:07No stragglers for the sheriff to pick off one at a time.

01:28:09Sure, boss.

01:28:11When we hit town, I'll get him.

01:28:13When he starts his moves, there'll be enough of us to see he don't finish it.

01:28:15Fractured jaw ain't gonna have a sheriff for long.

01:28:31There he is. Like a sitting duck.

01:28:33Come on.

01:28:35Ah!

01:28:37Ah!

01:28:44Whoa!

01:28:48Hey!

01:28:50Can you help me?

01:28:52Is the lazy ass of Barty Ranch hereabouts?

01:28:56Where's Stoughton?

01:29:00Dear boy, I'm your brother.

01:29:02Fleet Ironhat.

01:29:05Me, brother.

01:29:07Tibbs.

01:29:09Brother, brother.

01:29:11Muah-tah-gah-see-moon.

01:29:23I'll get him right between the eyes.

01:29:25I'll get him right between the eyes.

01:29:27I'll get him right between the eyes.

01:29:30I'll get him right between the eyes.

01:29:42Drop your guns! I'm the sheriff!

01:29:59You lousy bunch of coyotes.

01:30:01Get out, Kate, and fast.

01:30:03I'm warning you, we're gonna kill ourselves a sheriff.

01:30:06If there's any killing to be done, I'll be taking a hand in it.

01:30:08Kate!

01:30:10Kate, go back!

01:30:12Stay under cover, you!

01:30:16What I'd like to do to you!

01:30:18I'd like to do to you!

01:30:20I'd like to do to you!

01:30:22I'd like to do to you!

01:30:24I'd like to do to you!

01:30:26I'd like to do to you!

01:30:29I'd like to do to you!

01:30:51I suppose it's no use me telling you again to go away.

01:30:53Fifty, a hundred men I could have picked.

01:30:55More even, and I had to pick you.

01:30:57I'm a bigger fool than you are. At least I should have known better.

01:30:59What do you think they'll do?

01:31:01Keep us pinned down here and then probably send a couple of men up that slope where they can pick us off.

01:31:06They wouldn't risk hitting you.

01:31:08Wanna bet?

01:31:10Oh, now, really, that's too much. I'm going down there to have a word with them.

01:31:13You must be loco.

01:31:15Well, do you think for one moment I'm gonna sit here and risk your being hit?

01:31:18You make one move and I'll bend this gun barrel over your thick skull.

01:31:21And if you don't believe me, you just try it.

01:31:23Hey, Kate, look!

01:31:28Lazy ass!

01:31:30Great heavens, they'll murder each other.

01:31:32I've got to stop this.

01:31:34Hey, you! Listen to me!

01:31:41Is everybody in America hostile?

01:31:43Whoever wins down there, we lose.

01:31:46We'll settle this now, Wilkins.

01:31:48You've been spoiling for this. Now you're gonna get it.

01:31:52You and that hired sheriff of yours.

01:31:54What are you taking me for?

01:31:56A tenderfoot?

01:31:58Don't you think I know he's your sheriff?

01:32:00He ain't with us, Claiborne.

01:32:02We rode out to get him.

01:32:04What?

01:32:06Well, that's who we're here for.

01:32:08I'm warning you.

01:32:10There'll be trouble if this random shooting does not stop.

01:32:13We're gonna kill ourselves a cheap 10-star sheriff.

01:32:17So are we!

01:32:22I suppose it's too late now.

01:32:25I suppose it's too late to resign.

01:32:27A bit. At least this way, Fractured Jaw has to foot the bill for your funeral.

01:32:31That is a point.

01:32:38Great Scott, there's the undertaker.

01:32:42Who's he looking for?

01:32:44You!

01:32:46If you want to call off our fight until we've finished him, I'm agreeable.

01:32:50It's a deal!

01:32:52I'm in.

01:32:54The man who comes after the sheriff has me to reckon with first.

01:32:58You're magnificent.

01:33:00I'm out of my mind.

01:33:03Listen.

01:33:05More horses. From up above.

01:33:07Are we expecting anyone else?

01:33:19I'm gonna have a look.

01:33:21He dialed!

01:33:23All right.

01:33:25Kate!

01:33:27We don't want you hurt.

01:33:29You got one minute to think it over.

01:33:31You'd be much smarter to come on down and leave that two-timing polecat to us.

01:33:41And the next time it'll be higher, you miserable bunch of hounds.

01:33:53Indians.

01:33:55And you gave them guns.

01:33:57I'm afraid I did.

01:33:59Well, they'll massacre all of us.

01:34:02I should never have thought so.

01:34:04But so far, I've been wrong about everything else.

01:34:06Somebody said a short life, but a merry one.

01:34:09I'm afraid I did.

01:34:11I'm afraid I did.

01:34:13I'm afraid I did.

01:34:15I'm afraid I did.

01:34:17I'm afraid I did.

01:34:19I'm afraid I did.

01:34:22But somebody said a short life, but a merry one.

01:34:27Jonathan, look, we gotta make a run for it.

01:34:30We ain't got much of a chance but it's sure a lot better than stayin' here.

01:34:33No. Wait.

01:34:35I mean to have a go at my so-called brothers.

01:34:38You keep me covered.

01:34:40Keep me covered!

01:34:43Jonathan! No!

01:34:45Jonathan!

01:34:51This is Fleet Ironhat Tibbs speaking, and I won't have this.

01:34:56Po-yok.

01:34:57Exactly.

01:34:58Po-yok.

01:34:59And at once.

01:35:00What's the meaning of this behavior?

01:35:03You promised me that those guns would not be used for war.

01:35:06Our white brother was in danger.

01:35:08We came to help.

01:35:10Oh.

01:35:11I'm sorry.

01:35:12Once again, I seem to have said the wrong thing.

01:35:15Your enemies aren't our enemies.

01:35:17We'll kill them.

01:35:18Well, that suggestion is not without a certain appeal at this moment.

01:35:21But I'm afraid not.

01:35:23Why?

01:35:24They tried to kill you.

01:35:25I'm not entirely sure.

01:35:27But there may be a way out.

01:35:29Drop your guns.

01:35:30Everybody!

01:35:31Drop your guns.

01:35:32Now!

01:35:33Here.

01:35:34Here.

01:35:35Here.

01:35:36Here.

01:35:37Here.

01:35:38Here.

01:35:39Here.

01:35:40Here.

01:35:41Here.

01:35:42Here.

01:35:43You go.

01:35:44Now!

01:35:45I said, drop your guns!

01:35:46Drop your guns.

01:35:47Right now.

01:35:48Drop your guns, every man of you, and put up your hands.

01:36:00Right.

01:36:01Come on, Dad.

01:36:02Get behind me.

01:36:03Come on.

01:36:04Get up.

01:36:06Get him up.

01:36:09Get him up.

01:36:12Mayborn, Wilkins, I intend to examine your American laws to find out what the penalty

01:36:31for assault with intent to do bodily harm

01:36:34on the appointed sheriff of Fractured Jaw.

01:36:38Dad, have my relatives escort these men back into town.

01:36:41All right. Get moving.

01:36:43Come on. Come on.

01:36:49Well, I'll be doggone.

01:37:01Come on.

01:37:15Jonathan!

01:37:17Ah, my dear mayor, how are you?

01:37:18I wanna talk to you.

01:37:19Now, you know as well as I do that I discuss nothing at tea time.

01:37:21I ain't talkin' about discussin', I'm just talkin' about talkin'.

01:37:24Now, what I want...

01:37:25Oh, my dear old boy, you're a bundle of nerves.

01:37:27Sit down and relax.

01:37:28and all that hard corn liquor you've been drinking.

01:37:31Here, have a nice cup of tea. It'll do you good.

01:37:33Tea? That stuff is only for old women and sick people.

01:37:36Well, I disagree. I belong to a nation of 30 million peoples.

01:37:39And to them, tea drinking is a most pleasurable habit.

01:37:42Yeah? Well, maybe you're right.

01:37:45I'll try anything once.

01:37:48Looks like good corn liquor, don't it?

01:37:52Tastes like swamp water.

01:37:53Your manners are quite appalling.

01:37:58Your rank, sir?

01:37:59Yes, some more hot water running, dear, please.

01:38:01With the greatest of blessings, sir.

01:38:03Thank you.

01:38:04Gentlemen, did you gossip that?

01:38:06You even got him talking like you.

01:38:08Look here, what I came here to say was this.

01:38:11When I made you sheriff, I know, I know I told you

01:38:14you could appoint as many deputies as you'd mind to,

01:38:17but nobody in this town, including myself,

01:38:19thought for one single minute that you'd go hiring

01:38:21a bunch of them there, them there...

01:38:23Them there what?

01:38:24Injuns.

01:38:25Now, you listen to me, my dear mayor.

01:38:27In the past ten days, there's been no shootings,

01:38:30no robberies, no violence, in fact, no crime whatsoever.

01:38:33So it seems to me that your complaints are somewhat unwarranted.

01:38:35Oh, well, maybe you're right.

01:38:37But I still say that you're going to wake up some morning

01:38:40with your scalp gone.

01:38:42Quick, jump in your husband.

01:38:43I've got to get out of here.

01:38:44I've got to go home. I've got to shave.

01:38:46I've got to spruce up.

01:38:47Well, anyway, I've had my say.

01:38:49But you haven't had your tea.

01:38:50Oh, bollocks.

01:38:53He wants to talk to you, sir.

01:38:55Ah, good.

01:38:57Well, running dear,

01:38:58what do you think my London tailor would have to say about this, eh?

01:39:01It fits you jolly well, sir.

01:39:03Thank you.

01:39:05Right.

01:39:12Hey, Sheriff.

01:39:13Ah, Claiborne, eh?

01:39:15We want to make a deal.

01:39:16You've chosen an inconvenient time.

01:39:18Me and Wilkins have been talking things over.

01:39:20We ain't doing ourselves no good in here.

01:39:22Well, that's a remarkable display of logic.

01:39:24I'm just about giving up hope.

01:39:26Sheriff?

01:39:27Yes?

01:39:28And we figure we ain't getting no place shooting each other up.

01:39:30So if it's all right with you, we want out.

01:39:32We agree to share the water hole,

01:39:34and we'll let the Indians use it, too.

01:39:38Do you mean this?

01:39:39Yeah.

01:39:40Have I your word on that?

01:39:41Uh-huh.

01:39:42And yours, Wilkins?

01:39:44Good.

01:39:45Sir, coming in to town now, sir.

01:39:47Well, gentlemen, you'll have to excuse me.

01:39:49I've an important engagement.

01:39:57Right.

01:39:58Running Deer, turn all those chaps loose.

01:40:00Good luck to you, sir.

01:40:01Thank you.

01:40:07You look, sir.

01:40:08Sheriff?

01:40:09You pickin' on Claiborne, sir?

01:40:16Howdy, sir.

01:40:27Oh, there he is.

01:40:28Oh, isn't he nice?

01:40:29He's a good man.

01:40:30He's a good man.

01:40:32Very nice.

01:40:33My, say, my dear old boy.

01:40:35Clean at last.

01:40:36Yeah.

01:40:40Oh.

01:40:41Slight problem.

01:40:42It won't be a moment.

01:40:43Howdy-dee.

01:40:44I want you to pump this here organ

01:40:45like you never pumped it before.

01:40:47I want his golden notes to go soaring

01:40:49over the whole territory,

01:40:51because this here's a joyous occasion.

01:40:54She ain't changed her mind, has she?

01:40:56No.

01:40:57At a wedding, old boy,

01:40:58it's customary for the bride to walk down the aisle

01:41:00on the arm of her father.

01:41:01Where are you going to get her a father?

01:41:03Just for the ceremony.

01:41:04I've lent her mine.

01:41:15Dearly beloved,

01:41:16I'm so glad to see you.

01:41:18I'm so glad to see you.

01:41:20I'm so glad to see you.

01:41:21I'm so glad to see you.

01:41:22Dearly beloved,

01:41:23we are gathered here together

01:41:25to join in holy wedlock

01:41:27this fair, pure flower of the prairie

01:41:30and this...

01:41:31Oh.

01:41:32Have you got the ring?

01:41:33Oh, yes, yes, of course.

01:41:35Ah!

01:41:36I...

01:41:37I pronounce you man and wife!

01:41:41Yah!

01:41:42Yah!

01:41:43Yah!

01:41:55Indians!

01:41:56No, darling.

01:41:58Relatives.

01:41:59Ah!

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