Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 4 Episode 5 Beer Bad
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 4 Episode 5 Beer Bad
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00:00Stevenson. Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What are you doing? Making a choice.
00:10Parker did I do something wrong? Didn't you have fun? Is that all it was? What else was it
00:16supposed to be? He's manipulative and shallow and why doesn't he want me? Say hi to non-college guy.
00:26Not that I mind, but don't non-college guys usually populate the non-campus?
00:30Townie, huh? Looks so normal.
00:56Buffy? Parker? Stay down.
01:13Buffy!
01:26Ah!
01:34Ah!
01:51Buffy, I don't know what to say. After how I've treated you, now I owe you my life.
01:59It's nothing. It's everything.
02:06You're everything and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get you to forgive me.
02:14Do you think one day you might? No.
02:30I don't know.
02:33These are the things we want. Simple things. Comfort, sex, shelter, food. We always want them
02:41and we want them all the time. The id doesn't learn. It doesn't grow up. It has the ego telling
02:48it what it can't have and it has the super ego telling it what it shouldn't want. But the id
02:54works solely out of the pleasure principle. It wants. Whatever social skills we've learned,
03:02however much we've evolved, the pleasure principle is at work in all of us.
03:08So how does this conflict with the ego manifest itself in the psyche?
03:14What do we do when we can't have what we want?
03:24Buffy, I don't know what to say. After how I've treated you, now I owe you my life.
03:43Can you ever forgive me?
03:54Hey!
04:24Hey!
04:54Rough day? Come on, buff. Be a lonely drunk.
05:10Rough day? Stop flicking at me. Work with me here. I'm finally an essential part of your college-y
05:18life. No more looking down on the townie. I'm the new bartender over at the pub. Got my lighter,
05:26my rag, my empathy face. Aren't you too young to be a bartender? Au contraire, mon frere.
05:34Mon frere means brother. Mon good old frere. Behold.
05:42I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up. What gives it away?
05:46Looking at it. Well, no one's gonna see it anyway. Now, I'm the bartender. I kick people out.
05:54You know there's more to it than wiping and kicking.
05:59Mixing drinks, for instance. Well, I've seen cocktail. I can do the hippie hippie shake.
06:06Well, even if I had a pretend cigarette, I couldn't tell you my pretend problems.
06:10Real ones have clogged up my head space.
06:14Then unload them right here, baby. Rough day? You want to talk about it?
06:23Shutting up now. I'm pregnant by my stepbrother, who'd rather be with my best friend,
06:28and he's left me with no place to live, no food, except for this bottle of wild turkey,
06:34which I drank all of. That was me being tanked and friendless for you.
06:42Gets my Oscar nod. You know what? It's class time.
06:47So, you gonna come by tonight? To the pub? I was from state.
06:54You know, maybe, maybe he's just having trouble dealing. I mean, don't guys sometimes keep the
07:01girls they really, really like inside these deep little brain fantasy bubbles where everything's
07:07perfect? I mean, they do that, right? How's the fugue state coming along, Parker?
07:16Maybe I'm in his bubble, and then pretty soon he's gonna realize that he wants more than just
07:22bubble buffy, and he'll pop me out, and we'll go to dinner, and it could happen, right?
07:31Buffy, that is my best friend. You need to think about not Parker. He's no good. There are men,
07:38better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis. Nothing can defeat the penis.
07:49Too loud. Very unseemly. I mean, I'm sorry to be so coarse, but I feel strongly about
07:57stinky Parker, man. He can be really sweet. I'm telling you, I think that he has intimacy
08:04problems because of the death of his father. Not interested. You got troubles,
08:09tell them to the bartender. That's right, because the bartender's always ready to listen.
08:14What? What? For the last drink, a pitcher of beer. Okay, and you want a rum and coke,
08:21and you want a poker slice, and a buck on the rocks, and a water. Is that right? Do I have to
08:27write this down for you? A glass of ice water. A glass of white wine. Simple request. Ice water.
08:36Nothing on the rocks?
08:51I need a lover. Who is the perfect gem? I don't know, but I'm going to try to find a way in.
09:08Oh, Riley, so sorry. Yeah, you know, most people go around. I'm not saying you can't
09:16tunnel through me. I just think the other ways quicker. In my defense, you do take up a lot of
09:22space. I do. I'm ingame. Are you looking for someone? Uh, I just saw, um, Parker up there.
09:36Right. Parker and his latest conquest. You know, that boy should have his attentions
09:41checked. He's kind of a girl chaser, huh? Sets them up and knocks them down. I guess maybe I'm
09:48old-fashioned, but my father always said, if you want to be a gentleman, you don't even care what
09:55my father says. I'm sorry, what? Forget about it. Yeah, I got some people waiting. I'll see you in
10:05class, right?
10:11Rough day? Nah, it's been super. We accepted Melody's pledge and made her an official sister
10:35Beta Delta Gamma, and our pins arrived today. I designed it myself. You are so sharp. Hey,
10:44Paula, you're keeping this fine bartender from his duty. A man's got to make a living.
10:50It's all right. So guys and I are celebrating. I said it's all right. I'm due for a break.
11:00Oh, so what were you discussing? Maybe we could all join. Be nice.
11:09Ah, forget it. No, no, no. I rudely interrupted, and it sounds like the two of you were having
11:14quite the meeting of minds, possibly debating the geopolitical ramifications of bioengineering.
11:21You have a take on that? I've got beer.
11:29You want some beer? Yeah, a pitcher of Black Frost.
11:34You see, I think we have a perfect venue here for conducting a little sociometry,
11:39a bipolar continuum of attraction and rejection. Now, given your socioeconomic statuses,
11:46I foresee a B rejects A diet. I'm sorry. Let me clarify. You see, we are the future of this
11:58country, and you keep the bowl of peanuts full. We are what these girls want. And, uh, four glasses.
12:09That's bad. I see some I.D. Kid, you're not getting a drop until I'm satisfied.
12:16Just give him a beer.
12:27Thanks.
12:36Buffy?
12:40Rough day?
12:43Want to tell me about it?
12:47It's just...
12:50Parker's problem with intimacy turns out to be that he can't get enough of it.
12:56And I know it. I knew what he was.
13:01If he were tied and gagged and left in a cave that vampires happen to frequent,
13:08it wouldn't really be like I killed him, really.
13:12Buffy.
13:13I'm a slut.
13:15No.
13:15Idiot.
13:17No.
13:18Gotta stop being so...
13:19Hey!
13:21Sorry. So sorry.
13:26I'm better. This has helped.
13:29Do not go anywhere.
13:38Oh, I'm so sorry. I just... I seem to be bumping into people today.
13:50Can't imagine anybody minding.
13:54You're not thinking of leaving, are you? Because we have a very strict policy against you leaving.
14:01At least until you've had a drink.
14:03Yeah, what my friend's just saying is...
14:06You shouldn't be sad and alone right now.
14:09I mean, you're a very beautiful girl who should be covered with men.
14:14And could we be those men?
14:18It's on us.
14:36Hey, you got a table.
14:56I had to kill a man.
14:59That's a really good table.
15:00I copied out my notes for Sykes, and she was so elsewhere this morning.
15:05Thanks.
15:06It's really pretty simple stuff, you know, just...
15:11What's the matter?
15:14I don't know. I just feel a...
15:18There's nothing.
15:30Oh, God, baby.
16:01We could go back to your place.
16:03I could make you soup.
16:08Oh, that's okay. I'm fine. Thanks.
16:24Do you know her?
16:24Who?
16:26Veruca?
16:28Yeah.
16:29I know their drummer. He's cool.
16:31But I've never heard him play.
16:54Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
17:11The thing that the modern-day pundits fail to realize
17:14is that all the socioeconomic and psychological problems
17:19inherent in modern society can be solved
17:22by the judicious application of way too much beer.
17:27Black Cross is the only beer.
17:30My mother always said beer is evil.
17:33Evil, good.
17:35These are moral absolutes that predate the fermentation of malt and fine hops.
17:42See...
17:45Wait, where was I?
17:46I'm really not sure.
17:48Well, Thomas Aquinas...
17:50Oh, there'll be no Thomas Aquinas at this table.
17:54Keep your theology of providence to yourself, fat boy.
17:56I was just drawing a parallel between beer.
18:00Had the earliest morality developed under the influence of beer,
18:03there would be no good or evil.
18:06There would be kind of nice and pretty cool.
18:11Everything would be different.
18:14You guys really love to hear yourself speak, don't you?
18:18All right, we're losing her again.
18:19Say something interesting.
18:20Well, tell us about yourself.
18:22Yeah, what do you like?
18:24Well...
18:27I don't hate this for a start.
18:31Yep.
18:34My name is Veruca. I'm in a band.
18:37Oh, I'm Oz. I'm in a band, too.
18:40Oh, and this is Will.
18:43Oh, how fun and groopy.
18:46Groopy.
18:49Buff, have you heard of this Veruca chick?
18:52Dresses like Faith, voice like an albatross.
18:56TV is a good thing.
18:59Bright colors, music, tiny little people.
19:08What have you done with Buffy?
19:13I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of...
19:19badness.
19:21You didn't? Not with Parker again?
19:24No.
19:26With four really smart guys.
19:29Four?
19:31Who?
19:33Oh.
19:35Oh, Buffy, are you okay?
19:40Do you want to talk about it?
19:42I went to see Xander.
19:45Then I saw Parker.
19:49Then came beer.
19:53Then group sex?
19:56Got her face?
19:57No, just lots and lots of beer.
20:03It's nice.
20:05Foamy.
20:07Comforting.
20:09It's beer.
20:12Drowning your troubles over Parker.
20:15Mind-frying man.
20:18He deserves a torturous and slow death by spider bites.
20:24Well, for today, we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class.
20:30Okay.
20:39Uh, but getting dressed would be fun, too.
20:43Next class, we'll be moving on to personality types and disorders.
20:48For those of you who have done the reading, you already know.
20:52Yes?
20:53She read the reading.
20:58Well, then, she'll have some time on her hands.
21:01As I was saying, we won't be able to cover it all in class.
21:06But we'll try to do our best to cover it all in class.
21:09As I was saying, we won't be able to cover it all in class.
21:13But that doesn't mean it isn't worth knowing.
21:16And it doesn't mean it won't be on the midterm.
21:19Now, if I've been unclear in any way, speak now.
21:24Buffy?
21:25Now, before you go, make sure you get the paperwork sheet from the TA.
21:30Based on that, choose three essay topics and hand them to me at the start of the class.
22:09Okay.
22:29That's good.
22:30Good enough.
22:32No more, but it's good.
22:34Yeah.
22:36Follow me.
22:38You should come to our class on big thinking.
22:41It's good.
22:50Boy, I'm having the worst day.
22:53You got a light?
23:00I like girls.
23:02You stupid.
23:04I used to.
23:06Oh, you stupid.
23:11Smelly head.
23:30Willow.
23:32Hey.
23:35I tried calling.
23:37Yeah, I've been at the library.
23:40How are you feeling?
23:42What do you mean?
23:43Well, you weren't in class again.
23:46Oh, yeah, I was practicing.
23:47Hey, Chi's playing again tonight.
23:50Chi?
23:51Yeah, Veruca's band.
23:52And they asked me to sit in with them.
23:56It'd be kind of cool if you were there.
23:58Two Veruca shows in two nights?
24:01You sure you want to share your groupie?
24:03I think I'm just going to study because of the fun.
24:08Yeah, I guess I could see how it'd be dull for you.
24:18See you.
24:22Yeah.
24:29You stupid.
24:34No, you stupid.
24:38No, you.
24:48You.
24:58Hey.
25:03Hey.
25:13Like it.
25:15It's time to go home, puppy.
25:18Want more singing?
25:20Want more beer?
25:22I've cut you off.
25:25Did it hurt?
25:28Out you go.
25:29Oh.
25:31Want beer.
25:32Like beer.
25:34Beer good.
25:35Beer bad.
25:37Bad, bad beer.
25:40What the hell am I saying?
25:42Buffy, go home and go to bed.
25:48Say bye.
25:50Bye.
25:53Bye.
25:59Bye.
26:04Hey.
26:07Where'd girl go?
26:29Hey.
26:41Did you want something?
26:43Yes.
26:44I want to give you a piece of my mind.
26:47I'm tired of you men and your madness.
26:52Buffy's really hurting right now.
26:54In fact, she's in need of a big mental tidy.
27:00Parker, how could you do this to her?
27:05I don't get what you mean.
27:06What did I do?
27:07She shared something very intimate with you.
27:11And you act like it's nothing more than a bag of some kind of snack food.
27:19Willow, I'm not sure I need to explain my actions here.
27:24But if that's what you want.
27:26Yes, followed by an admission of undeniable guilt, but go on.
27:37Some relationships center on a deep emotional tie or a loyal friendship or something.
27:45But most are just two people passing through life enriching or aggravating each other's lives briefly.
27:55Go on.
27:59Just for one night.
28:01Can't two people who feel an attraction come together and create something wonderful.
28:07And then go back to their lives the next day better for it, but never overanalyzing it or
28:14wanting it to be more than it was.
28:19I have.
28:21She should too.
28:25Well, people like Buffy and me assume that intimacy means friendship and respect.
28:37People shouldn't have to ask first, are you going to be eyeing other prospects tomorrow?
28:42People shouldn't have to preface casual sex with
28:46just so you know, I'll never grow any older with you.
28:54It takes the fire out of it.
29:02Maybe.
29:07Willow, I don't regret what happened or what we did.
29:15But I am sorry that Buffy's hurting and if I misled her, I'm sorry for that too.
29:19I didn't mean to.
29:25I'm impressed that you care so much about her.
29:32You're a good friend.
29:46All right, time to pay up and go home, guys.
29:54Uh-huh.
30:09Okay, let's see.
30:10I'll take this one and this one.
30:16And you know, I've always had a problem calculating the tip and you guys being so
30:22adaptive of brain, maybe you can help me out.
30:28Okay, great.
30:30See, if your bill comes to $38 and generally people tip what?
30:36Approximately 30%?
30:40That makes your tip what?
30:49You are so smart.
30:53This is so the right amount.
30:57Somebody didn't have their fiber today.
31:04Hey, you all right in there?
31:10Buddy?
31:22Huh?
31:32Oh, God, let's get out of here.
31:52Hmm.
32:15Hey, easy.
32:16We're cool.
32:23Oh, God.
32:37Fire angry.
32:48Jack?
32:49Jack?
32:50We got a problem.
32:52The guys, they...
32:55There.
32:57Some of your patrons are turning into cavemen.
33:00They had it coming.
33:19Oh.
33:50Oh.
33:55I've been taking abuse from snot-nosed kids for 20 years.
33:59I mean, they're always coming in here with their snotty attitudes,
34:02drinking their fruity little micro-brews and spouting out some philosophy like it
34:07means a damn thing, thinking they're different than us.
34:11They are now.
34:12They ain't.
34:13That's the great thing about beer.
34:15It makes all men the same.
34:17Why are we talking about beer?
34:18The guys are...
34:23The beer.
34:25Neat, huh?
34:26My brother-in-law's a warlock.
34:27He showed me how to do the...
34:29No, no neat.
34:30I serve them that beer.
34:33I serve Buffy that beer.
34:37Uh, how much beer would you say a person would need to consume
34:40before they seriously started questing for fire?
34:42Relax.
34:43It'll wear off in a day or so.
34:45In a day or so someone can get killed.
34:48You're a bad, bad man.
35:19I didn't see him.
35:31Is he okay?
35:48Well, I cut her off before the others, so I don't think she had as much to drink.
36:08I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
36:10I didn't know it was evil.
36:11You knew it was beer.
36:13Well, excuse me, mister.
36:14I spent the 60s in an electric Kool-Aid funky Satan groove.
36:18It was the early 70s and you should know better.
36:20I'm not the dad of her.
36:21Buffy's a grown-up.
36:22She's intelligent enough to...
36:43Parker, bad.
36:45I don't mean this in a bragging way, but I do get to know a lot of women.
36:54Well, getting to know people is good.
36:59But I haven't found the one yet.
37:05I've yet to find a girl that I can just, you know, sit with,
37:11feeling totally at ease, spewing whatever's on my mind.
37:15Or even sit with comfortably in silence.
37:20Willow, can I tell you something kind of private?
37:27Okay.
37:28I mean, I feel you've shown me a perspective I hadn't really thought much about before.
37:38What is it you wanted to tell me?
37:39Just that I've enjoyed talking with you here tonight.
37:53Me too.
37:55I mean, with you.
37:59You know, I'm wondering something about you.
38:05What?
38:05Just how gullible do you think I am?
38:11I mean, with your gentle eyes and your shy smile and your ability to talk openly only to me.
38:19You're unbelievable.
38:23What?
38:24This isn't sharing.
38:25This isn't connecting.
38:28It's the pleasure principle.
38:30That's right.
38:31I got your number in, boy.
38:34The only thing you're thinking about is how long before you can jump on my bones.
38:38Look, if you think that I'm-
38:39I mean, you men!
38:41It's all about the sex.
38:43Find a woman, drag her to your den, do whatever's necessary, just as long as you get the sex.
38:49I tell you, men haven't changed since the dawn of time.
38:58See?
39:03Fascinating, really.
39:33Want people.
39:36Where people go.
39:38The TV is off.
39:42Want.
39:44Want people.
39:46She doesn't appear to be in any immediate danger.
39:49Maybe you should stay with her.
39:55Boy, you smell nice.
39:59Or perhaps you should be left alone.
40:01Yeah, I think we need to track down the fun boys somewhat pronto.
40:06Jack said the effects of the beer would wear off.
40:08Beer?
40:11Buffy want beer.
40:13You can't have beer.
40:23Want beer.
40:26Giles, don't make Cave Slayer unhappy.
40:32Buffy strong.
40:34Yes, Buffy strong.
40:36Buffy get beer.
40:38Buffy get-
40:42Giles!
40:43I'm fine, just get her.
40:51Which way?
40:52Um, check down there.
40:54We have to find her before someone gets hurt.
41:02Oh, my.
41:06Run!
41:08Run!
41:10Ah!
41:12Ah!
41:14Ah!
41:16Ah!
41:18Ah!
41:20Ah!
41:22Ah!
41:24Ah!
41:26Ah!
41:28Ah!
41:30Ah!
41:32Ah!
41:34Ah!
41:36Ah!
41:38Ah!
41:40Ah!
42:00Ah!
42:02Ah!
42:04Ah!
42:06Ah!
42:08Ah!
42:10Ah!
42:12Ah!
42:14Ah!
42:16Buffy!
42:18Buffy!
42:26Aha!
42:28Can't find the beer.
42:30Good.
42:32Freshman girl not able to hold the beer.
42:34Shouldn't have it.
42:36Get into trouble.
42:38Hey, hey.
42:40We're good.
42:42Remember the boy?
42:44Boy smell nice, yeah?
42:46Is there any part of Buffy
42:48still in there?
42:58Oh, no.
43:02Fire's bad.
43:04Ah!
43:06Ah!
43:08Ah!
43:10Ah!
43:12Ah!
43:14Ah!
43:16Ah!
43:18Ah!
43:20Ah!
43:22Ah!
43:24Ah!
43:26Ah!
43:28Ah!
43:32Ah!
43:36Ah!
43:38Ah!
43:40Ah!
43:52Ah!
43:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
44:01oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
44:31Oh
45:01What the hell's giles blunt um about this torch, uh, she walks with a sort of um sideways limp
45:31Bad bad
46:01Oh
46:31Oh
46:44You all right
47:01Oh
47:12Oh god
47:24What do we do
47:31So
47:53Did you guys have enough fun for one night yes, please
47:57And
47:59Buffy tired
48:01And was there a lesson in all this? Huh? What did we learn about beer?
48:06foley
48:07Good just as long as that's clear
48:10Anyways, I think the boys in the car contained for the time being
48:15This will give them some time to ponder the geopolitical ramifications
48:19Of being mean to me
48:27Um, whose van is that? I don't know wasn't that
48:44Buffy
48:48Buffy
48:50I don't know how to say this
48:53But i'm sorry for how I treated you before it was wrong of me and
49:00I'm sorry
49:03You were great tonight really
49:07I may not deserve this but
49:11Do you think you could forgive me
49:22So
49:52So
50:22Grr argh