• 3 months ago
Transcript
00:00:00You
00:00:06Balding penguin
00:00:08You
00:00:28Reverse Egyptian suplex reverse Egyptian suplex. He's going for the pin one
00:00:39That was
00:00:41Okay, man. It's time for the main event
00:00:44after years of heartbreak
00:00:46Unfulfilled dreams and shattered confidence this young man will finally have one last shot at the world title
00:00:53Does he have any chance if you ask this announcer?
00:00:57Dude, thanks for bogarting all these sweet wrestling DVDs from work. Oh, yeah, dude
00:01:04Really you haven't seen get thrown out in the store clothes. Oh
00:01:09I'll keep an eye on dad tonight. He hasn't been the same since we moved in the garage. No problem. Good luck on your date
00:01:17Maybe she'll let you sniff her
00:01:20It's just dinner, dude
00:01:25Hey, mr. B, what you working on over there
00:01:29Completing the perfect woman
00:01:34I
00:01:36I already got started. I hope you don't mind
00:01:40Just need to get my drink on tonight
00:01:44Well, I get getting your drink on this evening. This is a really beautiful place you pick. I am starving
00:01:54See do they have horses no, no they have $30 soup though
00:01:58I
00:02:06Feel like I've been totally talking your face off about me. No, tell me more about you I
00:02:14Work at a video store
00:02:17People saw a movie. Well, no, actually that's kind of a problem. I don't know
00:02:21I think it's kind of sad that people don't go to video stores anymore. It's kind of an Americana sort of thing
00:02:26I don't know. I going Brandon. Oh, no, I'm dead. Then Shaniqua. Yeah. Holy shit. I don't care
00:02:38Amazing
00:02:41On a date with a real girl good for you, buddy
00:02:45Blinding. Oh, I'm bad. Oh, I'm right here. I figured hey, you know what?
00:02:51I made some improvements to the old your June train if you want to
00:02:54Come like a ride, you know
00:02:59And a girl
00:03:00Okay, so thank you so much. This is really great. And um, yeah, good luck with the whole video store job thing. Thank you
00:03:14Whenever you're ready chief
00:03:24Oh
00:03:28Dad come on. Come on. Let's go to bed
00:03:35Come on
00:03:39Oh
00:03:42So that was the big date it was not good it was not in fact it was pretty terrible
00:03:53Life is a series of miserable dates. Oh
00:03:59Terrific. Oh
00:04:03I got one Kendra McNulty
00:04:08Kendra McNulty, she was fine and she would have got that root
00:04:13Those
00:04:18Paid off the up again
00:04:21According to this Dyke Piazza, you're oh and for for the entire day
00:04:25So it looks like all that money spent on glare protection is really working out for you bullshit
00:04:31The hell is this oh, it's a list of all the hottest girls we went to school with
00:04:36Kendra McNulty, please. You want to talk about fine middle school Hayley Matthews?
00:04:44Hayley Matthews, yo, that was the first girl in our grade to have sex, right? Oh, yeah
00:04:48She sucked Clark on the eighth grade field trip. No, that was Mikey Milligan. How do you know?
00:04:54Cuz I was sitting in between them. Ooh, I
00:04:58Cannot believe you let her do a flyover next time a girl tries to do that
00:05:01Air pocket if I could do it all over again
00:05:04I would have a vault of vag to dive into they would call me Scrooge McCluck
00:05:08Literally don't think anybody would ever call you that a couple people might
00:05:12Guys talking ducktales wait
00:05:15Apologies for getting you wet with a cartoon analogy, but can you please not interrupt serious conversations about and then what you think?
00:05:22What's that? Another one? You ladies out here so we can end this and go home. I got hot yoga
00:05:28Wiggins get up there and smash the ball down that motherfuckers throat will do coach
00:05:33There we go. Do it kids 50 jr. Mmm to pretend
00:05:37To
00:05:41Good hustle good hustle Wiggins good hustles dropping dimes brand
00:05:47Come on dude, really you're gonna text during the game. It's called sexting you fucking nerd. Oh, yeah, is it prepaid? No
00:05:54It's unlimited like your mom
00:05:56Right shit Jackson. You've got a chill dude
00:06:00Have you forgotten when old man Lucas shuts down the video store our team goes with it. Look at that old fuck out there
00:06:06Rubbing our faces in his shit face is right in his shit
00:06:10Hey, honey, I just finished my workout, but I'm gonna go pick up a six-pack. We're still watching the game tonight, right?
00:06:16Absolutely, baby. See you tonight. Love you. I
00:06:20Would totally go big on your wife
00:06:23Right free going down swinging like a girlfriend on my last night jokes on you. I don't have a girlfriend
00:06:30horribly embarrassing
00:06:32Bring it in guys
00:06:35Fuck you
00:06:39Always have always well. Oh, hey
00:06:44You checking out my mom's ass perverts. No
00:06:48Thought that was your stepmom's ass. Fuck you Jackson fucking Ewok. By the way saw your game today. Oh for four nice
00:06:54What's this?
00:06:56And that to me
00:06:59You're making a list all the girls you wish you in school
00:07:02That's hilarious because I have a list of the girls I did in school search your scene it
00:07:05It's a big fucking list. Hey, Denton could every girl on that list
00:07:10So you think that you get through this whole list every name? Could you do that? Then what I didn't say anything
00:07:15I maybe God I smell a bet coming on. I wish any you fuckers had anything of value anything
00:07:21I drain you for every penny. Hmm in the meantime
00:07:25We got a train to catch enjoy tickling each other's ladies
00:07:35Oh
00:07:45This place is jumping. How do you have any movies left? What's up guys? How you doing? Oh good
00:07:50We're just doing some man stuff around the corner figure we stop by say what's up?
00:07:55We still want for Taco Tuesday's
00:07:57God, yes, please. Nice any chance we can push that up a little bit. I have a training session tonight
00:08:03Training sesh. Yeah short for session. Okay, who are you training tonight? I haven't decided yet
00:08:11Hi. Hey, how's it going? How's it going? Yeah
00:08:15Don't you smell that
00:08:18Smell it
00:08:20What does that smell like to you?
00:08:22Kind of like envelope smells like a sweaty asshole
00:08:26Yeah, try this one
00:08:29You
00:08:31Dude all of your movies smell like a fucking asshole soon as I about all
00:08:35Really now my player smells like a fucking asshole. You guys sitting on this shit
00:08:42Delivery for Lucas gourmet condoms, uh, you know what actually that goes across the street to the company over there
00:08:48They're not getting stuff here till the end of the summer. Those fuckers are getting packages here already. I don't give two shits
00:08:53This is what it says on the package. This is where I'm dropping
00:08:58Don't you smell this thing?
00:09:00What does it smell like to you?
00:09:03Smells like wet dirty assholes
00:09:08The fuck you guys doing
00:09:15What's up, hi
00:09:19Denise that was close. You almost had it. Sorry. Um, you guys are actually already having packages delivered to the video store
00:09:28Oh
00:09:30Uh-huh. Okay, I'll send him back
00:09:33Hey, yes
00:09:35Mr. Lucas wants to see you. He's in Brandon's office. Okay, just right around the corner. Oh
00:09:39How does he know I'm here?
00:09:42And you have your taco Tuesday with your friends later at La Cabana. How did you know that?
00:09:53Good luck with the old man. Okay, it'll be fine
00:09:59Good
00:10:01Hey
00:10:02What's up, man? Oh, I meant to say congratulations on Danielle. That's awesome. I didn't wait. I'm sorry. No. No, that was me
00:10:10I twice we filmed it. Actually, what was the movie called? Oh, uh, the great train blow jobbery. Give me all your cunny
00:10:18Daniel know that you were filming her. What are you fucking stupid?
00:10:21Like we asked permission to film her train porno
00:10:24It's the world's fastest-growing fetish. We're the Lucas and Serge burger of the genre
00:10:29Shaghart Express missionary possible me hardly Orient Express trains planes and cock is your meal fucking classics, bro. Amen sister
00:10:40Didn't
00:10:42That you came by
00:10:44It's a big day, but after my ground-breaking career
00:10:47The flavor Jimmy biz. I'll be retiring at the end of the summer
00:10:52So Brandon's your new point person in regards to the takeover now
00:10:56I want my product in that bullshit video store within 90 days. Yes, sir
00:11:02We've we've started our move out and we will be out on time. Yeah, well better, you know
00:11:06You should just close that shit old day. I mean what the hell have you wasted your whole damn life for in there?
00:11:12well, uh
00:11:14It means something to me, sir. I
00:11:16I
00:11:18Can remember all the of the best times growing up going to that video store
00:11:22I made all my best friends there and I know people don't rent at a video store anymore. I know that's kind of
00:11:29in the past but
00:11:33It's made me who I am a huge pussy
00:11:40Son you're a born loser
00:11:44Or a winner
00:11:46Thank Brandon here
00:11:48Today his mama shit him out of her Joe
00:11:52God rest her soul. He hit the ground a winner. Yeah
00:11:56Sergio another hand I'm a real fuck-up
00:12:00Let me tell you what success is
00:12:04You see I
00:12:06Wake up in the morning. I slam me down a red bull and some vodka go clubbing with some young boom
00:12:12Take me some by Aggies and at the end of the night
00:12:16Squeeze me some of the finest little young tatas money can buy
00:12:22They're very big you say I can smell success
00:12:31Just like the old man, huh friggin whiff of it on you
00:12:36You know what?
00:12:38If he's your old man, that's barbecue flavor, that's his favorite
00:12:44Give him something
00:12:46anything
00:12:48As far as you two don't forget emotional party tonight peppermint zebra first lap dances on me
00:12:55Yeah, daddy. The second lap dances on me, too
00:13:01Honey it's one o'clock. It's time for our couple's mani-pedi
00:13:06Hi dad. Hey Kirsten, it's mrs. Lucas to you
00:13:11Mani-pedi-hedi here we go. Whoo
00:13:17Baker where the fuck you think you're going sit down. Are you done being mean to me get a present for you?
00:13:28It's a go bitch
00:13:30You tell your little bub buddies over there at that stupid video store that the CEO of Lucas's gourmet condom signed off on everything
00:13:37Rosenberg's drew it up in legal. He's a Jew. So I assume it's the binding and everything, you know
00:13:41I'm gonna watch you fail and I'm gonna love every second of it every
00:13:46damn
00:13:48Second of it
00:13:54Is that did you can I go now get the fuck out let the games begin
00:14:01Cocks better
00:14:09What
00:14:11Is
00:14:13That you lucky motherfucker is a legal and binding document
00:14:17That's right
00:14:17Me and Jackson sat down with Lucas's legal team this morning and hammered out all the details
00:14:21I have to sleep with 12 girls this summer or the Lucas's get my house
00:14:26Well, you're renting out your house to that asshole Bob technically to live in the garage. What are you guys lawyers now?
00:14:32Huh? Well, I actually had a lawyer look over the details
00:14:35Hello officers of Charles McDee and he may or may not be my uncle
00:14:40kind of contract
00:14:45Yeah, yeah, you're good man, you're good but don't worry man we did all the legwork for you
00:14:55Oh
00:14:57My god that my friend is 9-1-1
00:15:01My god that my friend is nine of your school crushes you actually picked out most of them yourself
00:15:09Wait, what are the two empty slots for? Oh, you get to pick the two wildcard bitches
00:15:14That's right. As long as we can prove you went to school with them. You can decide whoever you want
00:15:18Well now I think it's time for a celebratory shake
00:15:22100% all right. Thanks, though
00:15:24What the fuck's going on here?
00:15:27Sorry, Bob, sorry is right you sorry motherfuckers. What's those white bitches doing on the wall?
00:15:33Oh, these are all the girls that didn't went to school with yeah, he's gonna he's gonna him that guy
00:15:38He's gonna get you don't necessarily have to sleep with them. Oh, no, you just got a bust of fat
00:15:44It doesn't matter how
00:15:46Handy Beach missionary old country doggy
00:15:50Bukkake gangbang facial 69 come dump truck shitty kitty. Oh, well, I got one shitty kitty
00:15:57She's a Siberian jizz sickle. You know what? I like in Nigerian cocksicle
00:16:02That's what I like to drill this shit out your big drive
00:16:06Bye, Bob. Thanks
00:16:09That's right. We just need to have solid evidence of each hookup guys. I can't do this. This is your chance D
00:16:15Your biological cock is ticking man, dude
00:16:18If you do this you get 100% of the Lucas Gourmet condom company
00:16:22You get everything all associated properties and holdings the video store stays open and we can still play ball
00:16:29Can't lose the team D
00:16:32Jackson might kill himself and after what mr. Lucas did to your dad
00:16:40Think about
00:16:44Hey
00:16:51Hey champ, oh, hey, mr. Blossie, how you doing? Hey kid
00:16:56Is uh, is your dad home?
00:16:59Nope, don't think he's no is everything. Okay?
00:17:03No, no
00:17:05Your dad's been he's been stealing my son's Legos
00:17:10What
00:17:12Are you sure I've been picking them up all day Legos
00:17:16From my house to your house
00:17:19He's uh, he's had a rough go of it. Well, I think he's getting worse
00:17:40Right
00:17:42Fuck yeah, we are
00:17:44Get up, man. You got chicks to do. What is what is Scott Quaker doing up there?
00:17:50You're gonna laugh at this. He's actually one of your date. No, okay
00:17:55No, no two of the dates you only have to kiss
00:17:58It's supposed to be 12 girls you and snot shaker were inseparable in the third grade
00:18:03Everybody knows you had a crush on him Lucas wouldn't budge
00:18:05I didn't have a crush on it. Listen guys didn't even like girls in third grade love in the third grade ask Wiggins
00:18:12Yeah, it's pretty gross. Here's the dossier for your first date
00:18:15We picked the sluttiest one first seventh grade Haley Matthews. I haven't even talked to her in like 15 years
00:18:22Surprise again. You've actually been talking to her all day online
00:18:26We told you right a Harley though cuz she's into bad boys. You sold me as a bad boy to Haley Matthews
00:18:32How am I actually gonna impress a girl like that? This Denton clearly isn't doing the trick fuck
00:18:37No, but I mean what's wrong with me? I'm fine, right? Okay, I guess I'll start
00:18:43You don't put any product in your hair
00:18:46You're always talking about bands that no one's ever heard of like I'm sorry guys, but who the fuck is black Sabbath
00:18:53Yeah, man, you live in a garage Wiggins you live in a garage with me. Oh, yeah
00:19:02You're gonna have to shave your shaft
00:19:03Your taint your grundle your satchel page man. You got to be as bald as a Scandinavian turtle
00:19:10It's got a fucking shine. I got to see my face and you're right not man
00:19:13Look, I'm dressed like a crip stepfather right now. Does it matter? No
00:19:19Because I'm confident. You just got to be confident in who you are or in this case who you are not
00:19:26Okay, man, I get it you're in a rut you can do something about it if you're not gonna do it for you
00:19:43All right, let's do it
00:19:55Oh
00:20:07Hi, I'm sorry, is this two six four
00:20:13Hey girly, what's your name? That's so bad. But that way so famous. It's all giddy as long as I get a woody
00:20:19You can pack back with your neck. Oh, baby in plantations
00:20:23Ah
00:20:24Really? You look so great. You you look I can't tell
00:20:31Not me
00:20:36Where's your Harley, uh, yeah, it's uh, it's in the shop seats. She's broken. Oh, we're all ready to go
00:20:46we
00:20:53Did it
00:20:57Let me tell you what
00:21:07I got a loft on
00:21:15The heat was sleeping everywhere
00:21:23Oh
00:21:41My therapist thought it would be a good idea if I had a major life change. So here I am Wow
00:21:47This is this wasn't this is a big one
00:21:53Yeah started a pretty sweet softball team my buddies my dad's
00:22:00building a woman out of Legos I
00:22:05Sell my sperm at a sperm bank. I thought you were a cage fighter. Uh
00:22:13Yeah, I here's the interesting part of the story well
00:22:18The best part of the story is coming right now. I was living in this apartment
00:22:23And there was this old Asian
00:22:27Handy man who taught me to to paint fences and and and and wash cars stuff like that
00:22:38So
00:22:40But I you know what I was like this sucks
00:22:44Being a teen with with problems and no direction. This is not the life
00:22:48I want but you know turns out he was a martial arts master and he taught me a few things
00:22:54He's a blonde kid with feathered hair. Give me a rash of shit. And I was like, let's enter a tournament together of karate and I
00:23:03Crank kicked him in the face and that sort of thing just you know naturally leads to cage fighting
00:23:12That's so cool. Yeah
00:23:14What's your finishing move? Hmm?
00:23:17Finishing the finishing move is the
00:23:20Head but
00:23:23To the nuts. Yeah get a handful of nards and I just boom. Boom. Boom. Boom six or seven times
00:23:33So, um
00:23:35You have a girlfriend or wife yeah, I don't need the egg, you know, yeah. Yeah, it's just my
00:23:43chopper cage
00:23:46Tats
00:23:47Tattoos. Yep. Yep. Yeah, it's a full back piece. Yeah hours work. It's a yakuza tattoo
00:23:54Yeah, but instead of a samurai, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger
00:23:59Squat thrusting
00:24:01Mars
00:24:04Got to see that
00:24:06Can't babe. No, I can't do it. What? Yeah melted off in the explosion when I was escaping the state pen. Oh my
00:24:14That is
00:24:21What sisters warned me this could happen what could happen
00:24:32Sisters I
00:24:35Will never forget
00:24:37The time we've spent together your life lessons and blessings will stay with me
00:24:42All the days of my life
00:24:45unfortunately the exorcism
00:24:48performed on my devil
00:24:50has failed I
00:24:54Want you to me to like tap out
00:25:11Oh
00:25:20Yes, nice details details was unreal she did like porno stuff
00:25:32Yes
00:25:41Yeah
00:25:44It's everywhere I would tongue kiss Leo DiCaprio you saying he has supple lips it's possible that whenever
00:25:54Then
00:25:55Straight up now. Tell me did you really clap trap Matthews? That's disgusting. I hope you double bagged it man
00:26:01But because I'm a gentleman and a scholar
00:26:04Got you a little present bring Jimmy's on this
00:26:07Come on stop it. Hey, Graham, that's only keep it
00:26:14Hashtag blessed hashtag clean these up you fucking idiot
00:26:22Wiggins hand me a condom
00:26:27Brussels sprouts or Thai sweet chili Thai sweet chili
00:26:36Oh
00:26:47Remember it said smart girls want to be hot and hot girls want to be smart
00:26:54Fuck his head. No, he's home with his wife
00:27:07You must be really good at math to be able to count up all those ones
00:27:12Oh, yeah, I guess I mean it can be really hard to keep track of especially if people throw in fives when they really
00:27:20Like me that's a valid point. Did you want to get a lap dance?
00:27:24They're two for one right now. That means that you get two lap dances, but you only pay for one
00:27:31Wow, you are good at math. That's I would I would love one two
00:27:36I
00:27:51Just received news from the other side
00:27:54The Dark Lord has special instructions for us. Oh, how's he doing?
00:28:01He's well and says thank you for asking Oh
00:28:05You're welcome
00:28:11I'm I'm I'm getting a message from the Dark Lord himself right now. What news does he bring?
00:28:22He says that we should consummate our unholy tryst on this on hallowed ground this very Eve
00:28:29Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes, he does
00:28:34Then you must be the chosen one I am I'm totally that guy
00:28:38Then we must commence this ritual immediately. Okay
00:28:42Here put this on
00:28:43The neighbors are always complaining about the noise. It'll just take a minute
00:28:53Oh, don't worry it only hurts a little bit
00:28:59Oh
00:29:29Oh
00:29:59Oh
00:30:29Oh
00:30:36That's a big dragon, huh?
00:30:41What does he say
00:30:47Excuse me, sir. Can I help you with something? Oh, no. I'm just checking out this hot chick. Oh
00:30:53You know what no no, I love kids I don't love they look
00:31:00Hey, hi, oh
00:31:03My god, Denton. Oh my god, Denton Baker
00:31:07from Abrams
00:31:11Wow, you got tall you're you're big
00:31:18That is crazy, I can't believe you still hang out with those guys
00:31:22What is Jackson up to?
00:31:25Jackson thinks he's a personal trainer
00:31:29Wait, what? Yeah, he got in shape. No. No, he did not
00:31:34He just he works the graveyard shift at the 24-hour gym
00:31:38So like one person comes in and he's like, oh, I'm personally training. Okay, that makes more sense. Yeah
00:31:44What about you? What have you been up to? Are you working now? Um, I uh, I got into cage fighting
00:31:53Really cage
00:31:59Seriously where you're working, uh, actually, I'm in the movie business
00:32:04That's even worse than cage fighting. Yeah. Well, it's kind of true. I I still work at the video fun time
00:32:11Really?
00:32:12Still yeah. Well not for much longer actually because the Lucas has bought out the building
00:32:17for the gourmet condom business
00:32:21That is that's disgusting
00:32:23Um, well, this is me so
00:32:32Bumping into you didn't I you know, what would you want to continue this conversation sometime?
00:32:42Nope
00:32:44That what is yes
00:32:47Yeah, I would love to catch up somewhere. Cool. Cool. How's eight tonight that
00:32:53Yeah, sure. We can um, we can get that cup of coffee
00:32:58cool
00:33:08Meet me here
00:33:12Stop looking at my hand. I'm not you're peeing on the bathroom side. I'm doing dishes on the right side
00:33:19Where the fuck have you been? Well, I'm sorry Schwartz cough. I was busy playing stalker at the daycare. In fact, I'm lucky
00:33:25I didn't get arrested. Oh, yeah that Morrison chick. How's she looking nowadays?
00:33:30Great. Yeah, she seems really cool too. Yeah, how'd you hit that? Hj? No, I did not you're BJ. Oh
00:33:39Fj
00:33:42I didn't get an FJ. I didn't have quite the time that I needed I couldn't close the deal
00:33:46But right now I'm actually going to see Amanda, but this is a mandatory meeting. You can do this one without me
00:33:51I swear to God you're doing amazing work
00:33:54Remember to be the man you have to beat off the man
00:33:57It's beat the man if you want to be the man you have to beat the man. You don't want to beat him off
00:34:03Yeah
00:34:07But do you remember that story that you got up in front of the entire second grade class and you read it out loud
00:34:12Yeah, wow, I can't believe you remember that of course I do Donnie the lucky donkey
00:34:18Actually, it was Donnie the down-on-his-luck donkey
00:34:24How come how did you never get married?
00:34:27Well, my dad was in the Coast Guard
00:34:28so we moved around a lot when I was a kid and then I guess after I got my teaching degree I
00:34:34Carried on the family tradition. So you're saying you're gypsy? No, I'm not a gypsy. It sounds like what a gypsy would say
00:34:40No, I my girlfriends are all getting married and having kids and I'm just happy that I finally found a place to settle down and
00:34:47Write. Oh, you're a writer. Well, I'm I'm writing a book. It's a self-help book about how
00:34:54Parents aren't really instilling enough self-confidence in their kids and the effect that it has on them later on in their adult lives
00:35:02What about you? It's hard to go out and date when you're living in a garage with your dad
00:35:10Oh
00:35:15God you're really serious. Uh
00:35:17kind of
00:35:18How did that happen? I thought your dad was a successful inventor
00:35:22He was until his greatest invention was stolen out from right underneath him. What was it?
00:35:28gourmet condom
00:35:30No. Mm-hmm. Wait, how did your dad even come up with the idea for a gourmet condom in the first place?
00:35:37I don't want to do this. See we're having coffee. It's really wonderful time. I don't want to screw it
00:35:41Oh, come on. I can't go back. You know, once I say it, it can't be unsaid. I dare you bring it on
00:35:46Let's go gross me out
00:35:47Well before I was born my parents went on this kind of zany wacky diet where they couldn't eat anything after midnight
00:35:53My mom goes off to the other room to put on something a little more comfortable
00:35:57My dad seeing this is an opportunity to cheat on the diet grabs barbecue chicken wing starts mowing down the fray of all this
00:36:05It's the chicken drippings all over his junk
00:36:11My mom sneaks in surprised the hell out of Philip you taste delicious
00:36:16His wheels started turning and the rest is history
00:36:20My dad is not a balance a checkbook let alone run a company. So mr. Lucas offers his help in the interim. My mom gets sick
00:36:27Lucas says, you know and don't worry about it while you're gone. I will get this business started and running
00:36:32So we're watching TV a couple weeks later, there's an ad for Lucas's
00:36:37Gourmet Commons, didn't you guys get a lawyer anything? We've got a lawyer
00:36:41We tried to do all that, but my dad didn't have any copyrights
00:36:43He didn't have any proof like solid evidence from then on. It's just been this
00:36:48Downward spiral. Oh my god is so fucked up
00:36:53But you know what? This actually would make a really great example for my book. Hear me out
00:36:58You're
00:37:00Complete and utter lack of self-confidence has led you to be not only jobless
00:37:05But homeless and girl is as well. Oh my god. Thank you. No, seriously
00:37:11Get the only thing that you are lacking is
00:37:14Testicular fortitude. What are you talking about balls Denton?
00:37:19Look, I am I am
00:37:21I'm very confident really
00:37:24Oh
00:37:25Hi, I'm Denton
00:37:27Would you maybe like water? I'll go on a coffee date with me
00:37:30Even though all I'm gonna do is drink peppermint tea. That was a C- impression at best. Oh, really?
00:37:37What is this pussy ass drink? It's filled with antioxidants and fights cervical cancer. So you look kind of dumb right now
00:37:45look
00:37:46This is gonna be the summer that I change your life
00:37:50And I get to document it in my book
00:37:53Help I have the balls of an eight-year-old
00:37:56Elegant yet sexy. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You think about it? I'll be back
00:38:01Scream that title again. Shut up
00:38:04Denton you're my fucking hero man. It's been an honor watching you what your kill tonight. I
00:38:12Know you're gonna
00:38:16How how do you know about that since I Jackson didn't tell you about me I'm a star pupil man
00:38:22Remember a couple years back when the guy had to be cut out of his house
00:38:26Yeah, that was me. I weighed
00:38:29750 fucking pounds. I had to prop my titties up on a towel rack just to dry him off
00:38:35That's about when sensei Jackson found me
00:38:37Put me on a grueling training reg had me sucking on his sweet
00:38:42delicious power shakes
00:38:44Fucking saved my life man. The dude is a saint. Hey
00:38:50Hey
00:38:53I want to get out of here. Yes, let's
00:38:59Hope you two had a great night
00:39:02You're this shit, dude
00:39:03the shit
00:39:05Free video free video free video free video free video free video. We get it Wiggins free video. Wait, who's that for me?
00:39:13Free video free video you free video here. What why would you know my one of your questions?
00:39:18Who man? What's up, dog? Hi
00:39:21Lo let me see if you're my bro. Uh-huh. So what you release day talk to me
00:39:27Any new jizz flicks drop everything news in the back Scott. All right, sweet
00:39:32I'll be back in a sec cuz it only takes me a minute to sin it you remember now
00:39:37He seems like a power top you into that Wiggins, dude. I'm not looking at the dude, dude
00:39:44Okay
00:39:44Well, first of all, if you did I'm gonna friend I wouldn't tell anybody
00:39:48Second of all, all you have to do is give him a little bit of tongue and just I'm not gonna do it, man
00:39:52I don't care Jackson's gonna have to figure this out. I'm not gonna do it. I'll lose the whole bet
00:39:56I don't care. Hey, what bet you boys talking about? Nothing. Nothing. Fuck it. Well, I got my MMA. I got my porno
00:40:03I'm ready to jack and jack off right there, you know, that's pretty literal. Yeah, we got bend her
00:40:10citizen came woodfellas
00:40:13Deep impact. Oh, oh, no, actually this was this one's not a porno. Did you know that I'm a pervert not an idiot?
00:40:20Scott man, I can't wrench you these you've had to stop her. My mom will squirt out for two years
00:40:25And well dang, you're my brother and you know, the last decades been a bit of a butt for me
00:40:30You know
00:40:30my MMA career was going great and I got busted from being on the juice and
00:40:35Cycled off to lose the titties and then I started to get my ass kicked real bad tap out on the dream
00:40:41Listen okay, you can rent these but you've got to bring them back before the store closes
00:40:45Okay, man, you have my word as a retired man of the cage. I'll bring these back safely
00:40:52Knock on my wood. It's full of those, isn't it?
00:40:56Hey Denise, hi, you know what these packages keep getting sent over the video store. Sorry. It's just those guys messing with you. I'm sure
00:41:04Oh
00:41:06Cambo says not with my house. Hey, sir. Do you want to go old school on this little baby pussy? Yeah
00:41:16Hi
00:41:19Hey, hey, no wonder you're at four girls you wearing boxer shorts bitches love briefs now
00:41:26We're going to HM. We'll buy you something
00:41:28Clean this shit up Denise. Yeah
00:41:31I'm so sorry. Let me help you. Thanks. Oh
00:41:37You know didn't hum we had homeroom together that's right
00:41:43Yeah, so um, I'm gonna take my 15-minute break now, oh yeah, okay. Yeah, and that's just enough time for me to
00:41:52What now?
00:42:00Bring it up. Let's dig deep
00:42:02Dig it. Yeah, let's get it. Let's get it. You little bitches. Come on, grandpa. Pick it up. Pick it up Wilfred
00:42:08I am number one. You're right. Thank you. Why don't you hop on a bike uncle Jemima? Here we go. Jesus Christ man. Calm down
00:42:14What are you rushing the floods and the Crips dude wearing both colors to signify unity? Oh
00:42:19That's kind of cool. Come on, grandpa. You can do it. So
00:42:23Funny bit of news. I just got surprised fellatio from the receptionist that works at Lucas Denise David's
00:42:29Yes. Oh shit. You are so screwed. What world-class?
00:42:35Psycho stalker, you know in school when those girls made those origami things to predict who their soulmate was
00:42:40Yeah, she rigged her rigged the fucking thing, dude
00:42:45gross
00:42:46Yeah, she had one of those things where like, you know when one person loves another person like a lot
00:42:52But the other person loves the other person more she got a restraining order against her. Okay? Okay. She's nuts for real
00:43:00She had her dog baptized
00:43:04Hello
00:43:11Gotcha you reach the voicemail of Denton leave a message Wow
00:43:21Not convincing I can't do a good job at all
00:43:30No one's home. Oh
00:43:34God does it smell
00:43:42Zantin zantin zantin you've been busy girl. Hey Serge go wet that bed. All right
00:43:50Think the tall fucks got it in him
00:43:52Yeah, I'm gonna piss on top
00:43:57What the fuck's going on here who the fuck are you what are you doing here tell him what we're doing
00:44:02We broke in
00:44:04Obvious. Yes, you're fucking breaking. Can I talk to you? Can you come here?
00:44:08Yeah, are you fucking sure? Whoa?
00:44:11Yeah, I see that. It's fine. It's fine. Well, why are you here? I need information about this bet
00:44:16I want to ruin their lives. All right, I hate that. I hate them too. Good good
00:44:21Maybe there's a way we both get what we want
00:44:24To blow jobs
00:44:26He's touching my
00:44:28Here's the deal. I need information about this bet. Every time you find something out you give me a call. I give you cash
00:44:41I present to you Sarah Dawn Samuels
00:44:51Wow, what is she doing here? Well auditioning for reality TV all day. Only time she has to work out is at night
00:45:01During my shift
00:45:04I'm her personal trainer. So to speak we've spent some time together
00:45:09Through all that bonding. I've learned her deepest desires and darkest secrets. Her scent is that of a
00:45:16Rose garden after a midsummer's rain
00:45:19She's a siren in the water she calls to me and only I hold the key to her soul's relaxation
00:45:32It pains me to betray my lady, but it's for the good of the bet I
00:45:36Hold in my hand her one Achilles heel or should I say?
00:45:41Achilles crotch
00:45:43Whoa, that's a serious pre-op moose knuckle. It looks like a six dollar burger if it ever gets out she's ruined really Jackson
00:45:52We resort in a blackmail now. Yeah, we're now our sexual predators sexual predators
00:45:57What are we just walking the streets looking for houses with teddy bears in the window to wander into?
00:46:02None of my wildest dreams
00:46:05Sorry, baby
00:46:13Stop
00:46:44Woke up in a haze
00:46:48Fell flat on my eyes the muzzle
00:46:53Tragedy fights me from every which way
00:46:58And my mind just off day the skies are gray
00:47:13I
00:47:20Didn't get out
00:47:43On a carpet stand from
00:48:13Hey, Dad, what are you doing up so early no time for sleep your stepmother is getting close. Oh
00:48:23Yeah, she's looking sharp, you know, actually grab a seat. I've been meaning to talk to you
00:48:32Everything okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine
00:48:37So you in second grade
00:48:40Amanda Morrison, yeah, Amanda
00:48:43You guys have spent a lot of time together this summer. Yeah, she's uh
00:48:48She's really great
00:48:50You think she'd be okay with this whole bed thing. You got going on
00:48:59What the hell do I know the guy making a woman out of plastic right give me the glue we
00:49:09Oh
00:49:12Plenty of the apes. No, no
00:49:17With Marky Mark God God, no
00:49:28No, I'm Harry I'm Harry from Harry and the Hendersons
00:49:33I've never seen it. You're kidding me. You've never seen Harry and the Hendersons. No, God
00:49:38That was on my favorite VHS tape
00:49:40What are you talking about? Yeah, no, okay when I was growing up my dad
00:49:44He made us this VHS tape that had like six movies on it. It's made in that super poor person speed
00:49:49I guess you weren't poor. Okay. Well, it had a blast starfighter a flight of dragons
00:49:54Beastmaster monster squad and and and Harry and the Hendersons
00:50:02Hey look, um
00:50:04I've been thinking
00:50:06Summer's almost over and I have had a really great time hanging out with you. I
00:50:13Know that we are just friends
00:50:16But what if we we went what if you and I went out if you wanted
00:50:22What if you and I went on a date? Are you you are you're asking me out
00:50:28Are you asking me out on a proper date? What if I was?
00:50:33Do the maths on that I don't know
00:50:36Really think about quite frankly, I'm just I'm not attracted to you. Ah, it would be me doing you a favor
00:50:43You look were you in a grease fire
00:50:50Maybe I can change your mind
00:50:56Where have you been?
00:50:57Grab me some camembert a handful of those grapes. Let's get the hell out of here. It's cool
00:51:03We can pick up where we left off later on tonight
00:51:07Yeah
00:51:09On our first official date
00:51:12Where?
00:51:14It's a surprise
00:51:17Just pick me up here later after work, okay
00:51:29Well, thanks a lot man, I'm just about to kiss her you haven't hooked up with her yet you've seen her 50 times this summer
00:51:36You're gonna fuck this up
00:51:38How what are you talking about? You're in love with her. I
00:51:42Am that is not come how would one know though if they were in love?
00:51:50Close your eyes, okay
00:51:54Imagine yourself fucking her
00:51:56Pants around her ankles. She's bent over the bed. It's really hot. Her hair is kind of tousled
00:52:02You just blew a load right inside her. Okay. All right. I mean you've stained her soul. Okay, what do you want to do next?
00:52:11Guys just want to cuddle fuck
00:52:15How are you supposed to focus man when you're all fucking puppy dogs and ice cream upstairs, where are we going even
00:52:25That's eight or nine fucking bitches they already
00:52:32Is very unfortunate news Bob it's like a fucking broken fire hydrant if you see the kids spring this is fucking
00:52:39In city one of the children the mother came she slipped on it
00:52:45You okay cuz if you're not okay, I'm not okay
00:52:49He's doing much better than I thought he would I
00:52:52Can't lose this bet to that lanky fuck
00:52:55We gotta get serious real serious
00:52:58operation derailment serious
00:53:01Denise
00:53:03Sit up
00:53:10You nervous no, you look nervous. Nope. She look there see definitely looks nervous. I'm not nervous
00:53:18I'm gonna cut to the chase. We know you know about the bet. We know you're one of the girls
00:53:22We know you blew Denton in the lobby. There's a video search. You've seen it. Yeah, it was a sweet fucking BJ
00:53:27Thank you. Welcome. Here's what you need to do for me
00:53:31To help me win the bet how do I help you win the bet I can't unbow him
00:53:39Well you're a crazy super stalker right you got his passwords and shit
00:53:42It's his social media info email accounts social security number home phone home address parents phone parents address
00:53:47I'm gonna stop you right there
00:53:48We actually just need you to log in one of his email accounts and send an email to Amanda Morrison
00:53:52All right pretend to be dead say it's an emergency. I don't give a fuck
00:53:55However, you do it get her over to that garage battle station that they have
00:53:59When she sees what he's really up to she's never gonna talk to him again, let alone him
00:54:03Am I right and then we got this in the bag paper or plastic?
00:54:09Or bring your own bag and save the environment
00:54:12He's just such a good guy. I don't feel comfortable like messing up his whole thing. It's so cute
00:54:17She thinks she has a choice. You're gonna feel comfortable with it or you're gonna be fired. Oh
00:54:22Oh
00:54:25Go now psycho, what are you doing? Do my bidding? What are you doing?
00:54:31Just get the fuck out of here, okay, get the fuck out of here go
00:54:36Ballas, I don't understand you two
00:54:40Yo, did you watch that tape? Oh, yeah crazy ones can really suck it. All right. No, I'm going to the psych ward for my
00:54:52Oh
00:54:59This is the place looks like a fucking shithole
00:55:03Wait, Kendra lives here. Yeah, and she thinks you're a doctor
00:55:08So you're gonna want to suit up
00:55:10I'm getting a disease. Just looking at this place you packing Jimmy's
00:55:15No, that's okay. I got plenty in the glove
00:55:18What I need a water pistol in here, oh, that's not an ordinary water pistol it's filled with your seed
00:55:23Ah, why do you have a water pistol filled with my seed in here? Oh
00:55:28Well, you know that place you donate sperm. Yeah. Well, yeah
00:55:31I snuck in in the middle of the night and grabbed a bunch of your cunt and filled up this water pistol here
00:55:37Why well, you know just in case
00:55:41There's some chicks you couldn't pull down. It's a contingency plan. Okay, so
00:55:44Give me my back
00:55:50Sorry, you know, I always knew you'd be successful. I have great intuition with them
00:55:59Except for the ones that I'm married
00:56:04Oh my god, you got a little one do you
00:56:08I
00:56:10Know shit four boys three girls, but they're with their respected fathers tonight. I thought that uh,
00:56:16It'd be nice to give us a little privacy since you were so kind to take a house call doctor doctor
00:56:22Is so formal, you know, just call me Denton. Just regular old then we'll do so what seems to be the
00:56:31Situation oh
00:56:33My wife is pregnant. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god
00:56:38Situation. Oh, yeah, my wrist. It's like really been giving me trouble. It's really hurts to think it could be. Um,
00:56:47Do you think you could help? I do I do. Uh, let's have a
00:56:52Listen the old ticker
00:56:58Yeah, yes, oh yeah
00:57:03I've heard this before. I'm afraid you have poor circulation
00:57:06And I think you could be in immediate danger. Oh my what should we do?
00:57:09Well, I think we should probably start by getting out of that tight restrictive top
00:57:13Yeah, maybe even those tie tie tie pants
00:57:17Are you sure? Oh, yes, very sure very sure. It's the first thing we learned in doctor
00:57:22School
00:57:24That must have been so hard. Oh, it was yes, it certainly was but
00:57:29When you see the look of pure
00:57:31Laughter on a on a baby child's face after a successful
00:57:36brain appointment
00:57:37It makes everything worth it. You know that you're doing the lord's work these hands i'll tell you they've seen some stories
00:57:46Denton it's me
00:57:50Denton I got here as fast as I could is your dad. Okay?
00:57:53Hold on
00:57:55Mr. Me, mr. Me, mr. Me. Damn you phil collins. Amanda morrison is here. Oh second grade
00:58:03Are you in there? No
00:58:05No
00:58:06What are we gonna do?
00:58:07What are we gonna do? Oh one second. I gotta put my pants back on me, too
00:58:16That's it are you home
00:58:23Hmm
00:58:28What the hell is this
00:58:34No
00:58:35Fiancee did you just finish? No, I don't
00:58:39You wait you you have a fiancee. Of course you have a fiancee. Kendra. I'm home. Give me a beer
00:58:45Make sure it's cold as shit from that new fridge, you know
00:58:47Hey
00:58:49Hey Denton, what you doing here boy? It's great to see you
00:58:54Wait a minute. Uh, you're not here for them movies as yet because you know
00:58:57I really do need a little more time on those, you know, but uh
00:59:01Wait a minute why is she in her undies?
00:59:06And why does grandpa have a chubby
00:59:13Grandpa did my woman suck this man's
00:59:18Left it real good. You seen it like this
00:59:22Oh
00:59:24No, no scott. My pole is unlucky today. You little adults were coming into my beautiful home
00:59:30Making my angel eat at your gas station. I got some bad bad news for you boy
00:59:35Your time is all sorts of shit because i'm back on the juice motherfucker. I'm, sorry doc
00:59:40He's gonna fuck you up. Yeah, that's right. Scott. Scott. Just calm down for just a second. Yeah
00:59:45What you got what you got fuck that shit boy, come on bring it on. Come on dog
00:59:52Go your motherfucking jet scott
00:59:54You're gonna do shoot me with a water gun. Do not make me pull this trigger go time
01:00:15Oh
01:00:17Wiggins dad
01:00:19You're not gonna believe this. I just hooked up with kendra and I shot a load into scott's mouth
01:00:23What well not technically I didn't shoot. Well, no, no, no, no technically it doesn't matter the point is i'm about to win this
01:00:31fucking bet
01:00:34I'm part of a bet. Look, look, look, look
01:00:37I can explain
01:00:39I don't think that needs explanation
01:00:42This is disgusting, are you kidding me?
01:00:45Don't touch me. I'm so freaked out right now. I never want to see you again. Don't say that amanda, please don't
01:01:02Who are you
01:01:09Yeah, man, who are you
01:01:12Oh
01:01:24Heard the big news
01:01:26You fucked it all up. I gotta admit for a second there. You had me genuinely concerned
01:01:31Nine girls one guy not bad. I tipped my dick to you, sir
01:01:35You
01:01:36You actually came here just to be a dick to me. It's gonna be you quivering pussy
01:01:40This bet was your shot. I give it to you on a silver fucking platter, but you as you do kept up the family tradition
01:01:47failure
01:01:48So I think my family can't take anything else from your family
01:01:52My dad takes your dad's company. I take this shithole. You call a video store and then tomorrow when you lose that bet
01:01:58I'm gonna make you and daddy homeless
01:02:00You know why?
01:02:02Because you and all your little friends
01:02:04You're all a bunch of fucking weirdos
01:02:06I win
01:02:08you lose
01:02:09Suck my dick
01:02:15See you at the game tomorrow you can suck my dick
01:02:20I'm an actor walking anime porn. I catch the dude and i'm like, what the fuck are you doing, man?
01:02:25Look like i'm doing that chill clearly. You just need to talk about talk about what ed
01:02:29Huh, how you two ruined my life dude, you were this close to winning the bet. Don't you dare back out now?
01:02:34I don't fucking care about the bet. I don't care about the bet. I've lost the only person I want to be with
01:02:42It's got quicker no, it's not I didn't god damn it
01:02:47What she'll understand right we'll just go by her house explain the situation she'll get it
01:02:52She'll understand what ed that she was right
01:02:54She's part of some stupid bet that my friends got me into I cannot believe I let you guys convince me to do this
01:03:03Fuck you
01:03:04Fuck me. Did you sit here all day?
01:03:08Bitching and moaning about your life and things that happen to you be it girls or your job man
01:03:14Fuck even us and when shit doesn't go your way you go on the fucking rag and just bitch about how shit denton's life is
01:03:20Back me up on this wiggins. I still went to bed. I can't really talk
01:03:25Goddamn shame. Are you kidding me? How shit my life is?
01:03:28Jackson, when's the last time you hooked up with a jack?
01:03:31Well years and by the way, your shakes suck and you ed you were so full of shit
01:03:36You're this love guru except the only girl you've ever been with you married
01:03:40You two have been living vicariously through me, but it's not you who has a shit life. It's me
01:03:48Get out just get out of here all of you take this trash with you
01:03:55Fuck
01:03:58Come on wiggins wiggins get out here get the fuck out wiggins get the fuck out of here
01:04:04You've upset wiggins wiggins go. He's a fucking mess
01:04:08I'll leave you one. I'll leave you one go wiggins is my friend now
01:04:25That dad not you you don't have to go
01:04:31I refuse to let the lovely lady legos lose her virginity
01:04:35in this den of sadness
01:04:37You need to be alone right now. Anyway, son
01:04:40You got a lot to think about
01:04:54So
01:05:11Out in the heat standing
01:05:18Burning our feet
01:05:21We'll be filthy rich if the damn stuff burns green
01:05:30Just her and me
01:05:33And a 20 mule team
01:05:46Out in the sun we'll be
01:05:50crazy
01:05:54Losing track of the time
01:06:09Your dad's coming. Oh, yeah. Oh, how'd it go with lady lego?
01:06:15It was horrible
01:06:17We all went to the field last night
01:06:19He got butt naked and it's all gathered around her as you mounted her right over their own home plate
01:06:24When first thrust she exploded into a million pieces
01:06:28He just sat there defeated as his bruised old boner went limp
01:06:33Saddest shit i've ever seen
01:06:36Well, well, well
01:06:38Look at these video fun fucks you guys excited, huh?
01:06:41You like you like the smell of the field the cut grass the stands full of quivering lady
01:06:46He's waiting for the b-dog to satisfy him. Hmm
01:06:50God, I wanted to see you guys lose but to see you lose in front of a packed house
01:06:54Life is fucking sweet like brown sugar on white
01:06:57Oh, hey, look y'all president and ceo of goldman nutsacks. Sorry guys. I don't speak poor person
01:07:03mary k
01:07:04ashley
01:07:05You ladies 18 yet?
01:07:07Jackson, I know you're gonna miss this most so really try and enjoy it. Okay?
01:07:11Good luck out there ladies
01:07:17Whoa, he almost hit that truck
01:07:31Gentlemen
01:07:32It's been an honor
01:07:34serving with you
01:07:35on that battlefield
01:07:37he fought like
01:07:38warrior poets
01:07:40in the days of old
01:07:43But I ask you
01:07:45One last time to fight with me
01:07:49Can you do that?
01:07:51fight
01:07:52with
01:07:53me
01:07:54Come on
01:07:57Spit on me
01:07:59I got some in my mouth. Thanks for coming out folks to the last game of the season. It's gonna be a doozy
01:08:06Now batting
01:08:07Jackson
01:08:09Oh
01:08:11What's in it jackson's shake masterpiece the final
01:08:18That was a good pitch
01:08:20There's something I need to talk to you about. Oh, yeah
01:08:22What is that balls on chin, dude? I'm not in the mood for jokes right now, man
01:08:27Remember the tri-county little league championships. Yeah. Yeah, I could forget you got hit in the face twice in one game
01:08:33Taking those two balls to the chin was the best thing I ever did
01:08:38Well, what do you mean everyone knew I wasn't gonna get on base
01:08:41And if I struck out which I was going to the game would have been over, right?
01:08:45My only option to get on base was to get hit by a pitch
01:08:49Wait a minute. You did that on purpose. Yeah, I had to drink through a straw for three months and it was worth it
01:08:55We won because I didn't accept the shitty hand of cards that fate dealt me. I took destiny into my own hands
01:09:01Old man opportunity knocked the sixth grade version of myself answered the door
01:09:06And then I took his two balls on my chin
01:09:26All your mothers all of them
01:09:30You're up d
01:09:32Let's light this bitch up on your games boys
01:09:48You know what lucas oh do you want something say according to this contract the bet's not over till the end of the season, right
01:09:55Yeah, well, there's still anything's left to win this thing
01:09:58Okay, jackson. Okay
01:10:01Game's not over boys
01:10:05You're right I have been a pussy
01:10:12Need you to stall this game
01:10:17Ah
01:10:19Oh, oh
01:10:21Yeah, how oh my jock strap is twisted around my balls. Oh, come on delay a game, you know
01:10:27I wanted to wear like like marist did
01:10:29During his 61 home run season
01:10:33I read that he did that on the back of his baseball card. Bullshit jack. I'm a bit of a card collector
01:10:39Uh tops. Hey
01:10:41Focus, don't look at him. Look at me upper. Don't look at me. Uh fleer
01:10:46Wax packs. Where are you going? Take a set of balls on the chin
01:10:50What?
01:10:52Wait, is he gay now? No, no, it's a metaphor. Uh honus wagner the honus wagner card
01:11:00Boom oh god. Oh, it's like a hangman's noose
01:11:24And that was the snitches by dr. Seuss
01:11:27Do you guys know what the moral of the story is the moral of the story
01:11:32Is that there was this one boy snitch who was confused?
01:11:35What are you doing? There was this girl snitch
01:11:38Who was amazing?
01:11:40beautiful and
01:11:42and funny
01:11:44and confident in who she is and
01:11:47And he thought to himself he thought you know what?
01:11:49You know what? I need I need I need I need a couple stars under my belt to really impress this girl
01:11:54No, the girl snitches
01:11:56So he goes over to his boys in whoville and he says to them they're like, you know what dude?
01:12:00You need you need to be confident. You need to be like like the cat in the hat
01:12:04So he goes over and he slams some beers with with thing one and thing two. He hits the town. He
01:12:09Hooks up with a bunch of chicks
01:12:12That's not that's not who he is that's not what he's about
01:12:17He's more like the lorax in reality
01:12:20He's more like the lorax in reality
01:12:24Planting grickle grass and climbing truncula trees and smoking cheese with the barbell, it's what are you trying to say?
01:12:33Amanda I fell in love with you this summer
01:12:38I screwed it up. I just I screwed it up
01:12:43But you need to know that the man that I was when I was with you that's who I really am
01:12:50Yeah, the snitch may have stolen a blind girl's glasses and shot a pistol in dude's mouth that happened that did
01:12:57I'm, not asking you for a second chance
01:13:00If this is the last time I get to see you
01:13:02then I understand but
01:13:05You need to know that from now on
01:13:08I'm gonna be who I really am who I always was
01:13:15The snitch knows where his real stars
01:13:20Are
01:13:22Okay
01:13:25Okay
01:13:32I'm so lonely
01:13:38How you doing boys good man bottom of nine all tied up how'd it go? Um
01:13:46Not uh, not the smoothest actually
01:13:49At least I came clean to her
01:13:52Yeah, well, you're a better man for it and all that, right
01:13:56You're up d here we go. Here we go
01:14:02Here we go moving back here we go big head a big head let's go dead man walking
01:14:13Everyone's getting fucking in the ass
01:14:15I'm gonna fuck so many bitches in your house. It's gonna be disgusting
01:14:21Yeah, your old bedroom it's gonna be painted in my
01:14:26Time out
01:14:33Are you
01:14:37Den did you really mean what you said?
01:14:41It's the most honest i've been all summer this is bullshit
01:14:45Is this bet really that important to you?
01:14:48Come on, it's not as important as being with you
01:14:52Let's play ball
01:15:06Got a full-on louisville chubber me too now go in this cave
01:15:16Oh
01:15:18Hey amanda, hi amanda morrison
01:15:22Yeah, i'm denise davids. You don't know me. Listen. I'm not gonna hurt you. Okay, I do have to show you something right now
01:15:29It's important. You may not like it, but you might
01:15:34Here we go d knock his cock right off of his body we want pain we want to see blood here we go
01:15:41See what you got
01:15:46This one's for you dad. Oh son. I'm so proud. Here we go deep right in this right
01:15:52Here we go. Here we go
01:15:57You've always made me proud and you know what your mama was proud too
01:16:02So
01:16:11Yo, b we got a problem dog now sir, shut up last night's movie leaked are you shitting me?
01:16:18Is this train going to paris why indeed it is ma'am all aboard next up the eiffel tower
01:16:24I love big wreck things. Well, then you are in luck ma'am because we have two. Oh
01:16:32Get a move it
01:16:41This is the best
01:17:01So
01:17:31So
01:17:47Fuck what you stand for fuck everything that you like
01:17:51Yes
01:17:59Shut the fuck up old man, you know what jackson you can have the game you'll never play in this league again
01:18:05Denton lost the fucking bet actually lucas. No, he didn't your bitch 11. He's still one bit shy
01:18:11That means your house is mine and i'm gonna burn it to the goddamn ground right after I take a huge shit
01:18:18denise
01:18:19I think you have one more text message to send
01:18:33For our next motion picture the polha express
01:18:40Is this train going to the south pole, uh, it is it mom but you can go south on my pole
01:18:47Slide on down
01:18:52Feed up
01:18:56You're welcome merry christmas to you
01:19:0012 girls
01:19:01in one summer
01:19:03Damn
01:19:04Now as my first official act as the new ceo of mr. B's gourmet condoms
01:19:11Mr. Lucas
01:19:12You're fucking fired
01:19:14Brandon you are super fucking fired. What the hell is going on?
01:19:20a contract
01:19:22signed by brandon himself
01:19:27Daddy I can explain
01:19:37Yeah, that's right
01:19:39You guys can suck our black
01:19:41Yeah, man, you can suck all our black. That's right, boy
01:19:45Now as my second official act as the ceo, I intend to return the company back to its original owner and creator
01:19:52the world's greatest inventor
01:19:55my dad
01:19:57Yes, you're giving it to me. Yes me. Oh my god
01:20:02I kind of have a thing for inventors
01:20:04Yeah
01:20:06And you yeah, but but there's still something that I owe you
01:20:14Oh, yeah, that's right brandon we throw low round here
01:20:21Dang jimmy's on these bitches get him up throw him off
01:20:26On him get on him
01:20:29Look amanda about these last couple of months screw your past
01:20:34Oh
01:20:39Besides I still haven't told you about my summer
01:20:43What saying ain't nobody can stop me. They better sit back and watch me for really though. These niggas are silly though
01:20:49They think that i'm flopping. No, this isn't kinko
01:20:52You cannot make copies and just because you're a dick if you know how to be cocky feeling like i'm holly though
01:20:57It's lone like it's snowing me and fo five of the homies girls acting like they know me. Come on rollie, though
01:21:02Well, this is just the life of knowing you to shit and I don't think i'm ever gonna quit
01:21:07Party in my place. We gonna be faded. It's gonna be fun
01:21:11You're all invited and i'ma bring my friends. We'll have a good time under the sun
01:21:17We'll have fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
01:21:22Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun
01:21:27This is over fucking weirdo the game head zero make it white buddy
01:21:31I call it that rob the hero young cuz known to make you buzz
01:21:35That's the bureau if you want this song and drop your followers to zero
01:21:39Hey, yo doggie tutor. Did you really think that you could do do do do anything as good as me?
01:21:43You need a shrink. No, you're as good as me. No, if you really think so
01:21:47You must really think slow because you're not these girls is on my dot around the clock because i'm probably hot
01:21:52I can make a fucking country song that'll probably bop. Hey, yo taylor. I'd really love to tailor
01:21:57I could rock the boat if she let me be her sailor
01:22:02So let me get this straight
01:22:04You own the company. Yeah, you stole the company. Yeah
01:22:08You want it back because your son won a bet where he had to sleep with 12 girls in the summer
01:22:15whole summer
01:22:16You nailed it
01:22:22Gluten-free gluten-free
01:22:27So
01:22:48After the show meet me backstage you can give me a sneaky beach
01:22:52Groovy
01:22:53That's a recipe for a sneaky beach
01:22:55I'm a senator. You're my peach and my boat. Give me a sneaky beach. I'll put that left up
01:23:01Well, i'm gonna find a sneaky beach
01:23:04Sneaky bitch
01:23:19Baby you're in trouble. I blew a load now
01:23:34You blow a cum bubble for me
01:23:38You do not know what this is
01:23:40This is where you do not swallow my gum
01:23:43But you take it
01:23:45to the front of your mouth
01:23:47And pucker your lips and blow a bubble
01:23:51Use your imagination. Yes. Yes, very good
01:23:56There goes my
01:24:04Sneaky bitch
01:24:16I hope these truths to be self-evident. I'll be put dead presidents where dookie sentiment is resident
01:24:24In your butthole bitch. I'm in love with the stripper with the dollar in her
01:24:31With the dollar in her
01:24:34With the dollar in her
01:24:37With the dollar in her
01:24:52I'm in love with the stripper with the lincoln where it's stinking
01:24:57No, i'm talking about the pig i'm in love with the stripper with the lincoln where it's stinking
01:25:03No, i'm talking about a pig
01:25:06Hold that nose. You'll be brave. Fuck that poop. Where's the squeak?
01:25:09You gotta look does your shade get his bird sure about harry north and south is super scary
01:25:14See that butthole you be wearing jama. Spooky. Dairy airy. I'm in love with the stripper with ben frankenstein
01:25:23My baby poops bank i'm in love with the stripper with ben frankenstein
01:25:34Damn homies
01:25:38Come on bitch
01:26:03Foreign
01:26:33Foreign
01:27:03Foreign