Pippa and Thomas move into their dream apartment, they notice that their windows look directly into the apartment opposite, this will set in motion a chain of events that will lead to disaster.
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00:01:00I'm all out of hope One more bad dream could bring a fall
00:01:19When I'm far from home Don't call me on the phone
00:01:27Don't tell me you're alone It's easy to deceive
00:01:35It's easy to tease But hard to get please
00:01:43Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:01:58Eyes without a face Got no human grace
00:02:03Your eyes without a face
00:02:13Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:02:23Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:02:33Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:02:42Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:02:50Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:02:58Eyes without a face Eyes without a face
00:03:07Abe, this is our home. I gotta live here. With you.
00:03:17You don't. Not yet.
00:03:20Right. Sorry, sorry.
00:03:23I had a dream we kissed And it was all I missed
00:03:43Beyond the part
00:03:46Oh, what is this? Chlorophyll water.
00:03:51What? Chlorophyll water. It's the secret to long life.
00:03:54I will stick to my reverse demeanor, thank you very much.
00:03:57Okay, well, I'll stick to your gecko-bush-band demeanor.
00:04:00Okay, wait. I know we just moved in together, but can we talk about kids?
00:04:06Kids? Yes. Like, it's really important that we have this conversation right now.
00:04:10Okay. Can we not have kids for at least four years?
00:04:16Yes. Jesus. Yes. Hell yes.
00:04:19Hey, relax. Get the shit out of me.
00:04:22But seriously, I was thinking about how I basically spent my entire life in school, right?
00:04:28As long as I've known you.
00:04:29Yeah, like, you spent your early 20s playing in some shitty punk clubs and doing God knows what.
00:04:34Drugs.
00:04:35And I spent mine in the corner of some stuffy medical library studying till 2 a.m.
00:04:41Right.
00:04:42So I don't want some gooey toddler to come along and just mess up the last few years and being rebellious.
00:04:49Yeah. You know what? I've been thinking about rebellion too, in my own way.
00:04:53You're about to say something stupid right now.
00:04:55No, no. Well, you might think I'm un poco loco, but I was thinking about taking up the accordion.
00:05:02No. Really?
00:05:03What are you talking about, then?
00:05:05I want to wake up Sunday morning with an awful hangover
00:05:09that reminds me of all the terrible decisions I made the night before.
00:05:12That is what I'm talking about.
00:05:14I'm here for it. You deserve it. You deserve all the hangovers in the world.
00:05:19I do.
00:05:20You do.
00:05:21I do.
00:05:22Yes, you do. To making wonderful, terrible decisions.
00:05:24To wonderful, terrible decisions.
00:05:29Come here.
00:05:32I love you.
00:05:33I love you too.
00:05:39I love you too.
00:05:46Oh, check out those two.
00:05:48What is he, like a photographer or something?
00:05:51It looks like it.
00:05:53Wow.
00:05:55You can see right in.
00:05:58Yeah, it's a nice place. Oh, kissy, kissy.
00:06:02Oh, they're in love.
00:06:05Oh, it's getting spicy.
00:06:10Oh, that man is taking off her clothes.
00:06:14Um, Thomas.
00:06:16That is happening.
00:06:17Thomas.
00:06:18What?
00:06:19I don't think we should spy on our neighbors.
00:06:21No, we're not spying. We're just looking outside our window,
00:06:24and they happen to be in our field of vision.
00:06:26Oh, oh.
00:06:27Oh, okay.
00:06:29They have to know that people can see in.
00:06:31Exactly.
00:06:32Like, they have to know that.
00:06:33Have to know. Have to know.
00:06:35Is he about to do what I think he's about to do?
00:06:38Yep.
00:06:39That is some good content.
00:06:41Okay.
00:06:42Thomas, we are officially being creepy weirdos.
00:06:45Don't you agree?
00:06:46No, what? They want us to look.
00:06:49But we'll stop because you want me to.
00:06:52Thank you.
00:06:53It's our first night.
00:06:54Right, right.
00:06:55Let's give our neighbors some privacy.
00:06:57Oh, they're fucking now. Okay.
00:06:59Thomas, come on.
00:07:01Thomas, come on, perv.
00:07:03Okay, okay, okay.
00:07:05Go get it.
00:07:06Go get it, boy.
00:07:31Okay.
00:07:53So...
00:07:55I got you a little...
00:08:01Thomas.
00:08:03If...
00:08:09Thomas.
00:08:12Thomas.
00:08:14Sex.
00:08:32Okay.
00:08:46So, congratulations are in order.
00:08:49What'd I do?
00:08:50You, nothing.
00:08:51Me, I'm on day three of a social media blackout.
00:08:54No Insta, no Twitter.
00:08:56Joanie and I pledged to go an entire month.
00:08:58Mazel tov, Laurie.
00:09:00I just read that couples who decrease their amount of screen time
00:09:03can double or triple the amount of sex they have in a month.
00:09:06Yeah?
00:09:07Mm-hmm.
00:09:08Ah, but what do they look like when they masturbate?
00:09:10Oh my God, how is competition going?
00:09:14The weirdest thing happened last night.
00:09:16This couple, our neighbors across the way,
00:09:19they were totally doing it and we could see right in.
00:09:22It looks like goo. How ugly were they?
00:09:24They're not. They were, like, gorgeous.
00:09:26So, you pulled up a chair, popped some popcorn,
00:09:29put on your binoculars.
00:09:31No.
00:09:32Why not?
00:09:33Just because someone is allegedly allowing you to look in on their lives
00:09:36doesn't mean it's okay to watch.
00:09:38You were 1,000% wrong about that.
00:09:40It is entirely acceptable to look.
00:09:42I mean, it sounds like they're exhibitionists.
00:09:45Doubtful.
00:09:46If they are exhibitionists, then watching them,
00:09:48it's, like, the polite thing to do, Pippa.
00:09:50I'll see you at lunch.
00:09:51So long, creep.
00:09:56You're going to see so much better after this.
00:09:58Just relax, okay?
00:10:01I've done 40 of these a week.
00:10:03That's 20 years.
00:10:05And well over half of them have gone right.
00:10:07Just kidding, of course.
00:10:09Can you look, please?
00:10:1120 years.
00:10:12Yeah.
00:10:13And I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
00:10:19Okay.
00:10:20In three,
00:10:22two,
00:10:23and...
00:10:28Bonjour.
00:10:29Hi, this is Pippa from La Boutique.
00:10:31Your glasses are ready.
00:10:32Pippa?
00:10:34We're open till six.
00:10:35You're welcome.
00:10:36Bye.
00:10:38What is this?
00:10:39So, in Japan,
00:10:41birds are described as two eyes with wings.
00:10:45And for good reason.
00:10:46Their acuity is so strong
00:10:48that from the top of an eight-story building
00:10:50they can pick out a single ant crawling on the sidewalk below.
00:10:55Why are you telling her this?
00:10:56Well, it's a little housewarming present.
00:10:59Oh.
00:11:04When you see birds drinking from this outside your window,
00:11:08let it be a little reminder of how imperfect our own species vision is.
00:11:13You and I, all we're doing here is making it slightly better.
00:11:17Thank you.
00:11:20I want a present.
00:11:27Hey, babe.
00:11:29Hi.
00:11:30Voila.
00:11:31Thomas, this is so cute.
00:11:33We kind of look like Bert and Ernie.
00:11:36What's going on with our friendly next-door neighbors?
00:11:40Really?
00:11:41This is going to be a thing?
00:11:43Look, they're just like us.
00:11:45They're nothing like us.
00:11:46They're way cooler.
00:11:47Yeah.
00:11:49Hey, stop being so obvious.
00:11:51Oh, okay.
00:11:52Secret time.
00:11:54Ooh.
00:11:57How do we become their friends?
00:11:59You want to become BFFs with the neighbors we now seem to be stalking?
00:12:03Yeah, why not?
00:12:04I bet that sake he's drinking is top shelf.
00:12:06He could pour me some and I could pretend to know the difference.
00:12:10And then she could show you all the cute boutiques to shop at in the neighborhood.
00:12:14Yeah, because all girls do is shop.
00:12:16Okay, fine.
00:12:17I'll learn about the boutiques then, shit.
00:12:20What are their names?
00:12:22She's definitely a Margot.
00:12:24Oh, yeah, of course.
00:12:25She's clearly a Margot.
00:12:26And that's Brent.
00:12:30Well, maybe Brent could also tell me how to sculpt my body.
00:12:33I got a glimpse of his pubes yesterday.
00:12:35They were exquisitely manscaped.
00:12:37Would you ever want me to do that?
00:12:39Shave your pubes?
00:12:40Yeah.
00:12:41No.
00:12:42Wouldn't they grow back prickly or something?
00:12:44Prickly.
00:12:46Wait, is he choking?
00:12:49Oh, shit.
00:12:50That guy can't breathe.
00:12:51I know.
00:12:52And she can't see him.
00:12:53I know.
00:12:54What do we do?
00:12:55Okay, here we go.
00:12:56Oh, good, good, good.
00:12:57Yes.
00:12:58No.
00:12:59No.
00:13:00Go to the kitchen.
00:13:01The kitchen.
00:13:02Take off your headphones, girlfriend.
00:13:03This is like an emergency.
00:13:04Okay, I should call 911?
00:13:06No, they're not going to get there fast enough.
00:13:08You need to go over there.
00:13:09Okay, but then they'll know that we were spying.
00:13:11Yeah, but then he won't be dead.
00:13:12Go.
00:13:13Shit.
00:13:14Okay, right.
00:13:15Shit.
00:13:16I have to go over there.
00:13:17Go.
00:13:18Okay, yeah, yeah.
00:13:20Wait.
00:13:21Thomas, come back.
00:13:22Come on, come back.
00:13:23What?
00:13:24What?
00:13:25No, no, no.
00:13:26What are you doing?
00:13:27No, no, no.
00:13:28No, come on.
00:13:29Harder, harder.
00:13:30What is she doing?
00:13:31Oh, come on.
00:13:32Come on.
00:13:33What are you doing?
00:13:34Come on.
00:13:35Look.
00:13:36Look.
00:13:37Like this.
00:13:38Yeah, yeah, go.
00:13:39Go, go, go, go.
00:13:40You got this, girl.
00:13:41Go, go, go, go.
00:13:42Push, push, push, push.
00:13:43Come on.
00:13:44You got this.
00:13:45You got this.
00:13:46There you go.
00:13:47There you go.
00:13:48We did it.
00:13:49Oh, my God, we did it.
00:13:50We did it.
00:13:51We did it.
00:13:52Oh, fuck.
00:13:53Ew.
00:13:54You just spit up a spicy tuna roll.
00:13:55Kinky.
00:13:56Ew, no.
00:13:57Ew, ew.
00:13:58Ew.
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00:17:05So, this might be a little problematic.
00:17:06Why?
00:17:07They know they can see in, so why not?
00:17:08Wait.
00:17:09Somebody's got some company.
00:17:10I think this guy's pretty successful.
00:17:12Yeah, he doesn't do commercials.
00:17:13It's a sore spot, baby.
00:17:16Listen to commercials.
00:17:18It's a sore spot, baby.
00:17:19Sorry.
00:17:21Ooh.
00:17:22Oh, I think she was there this afternoon.
00:17:24Can I take a look?
00:17:25Yeah.
00:17:29Wow, these get so close.
00:17:30I know, right?
00:17:31They're only 100 bucks.
00:17:32Only?
00:17:33Did you negotiate?
00:17:34No.
00:17:35Should I have?
00:17:36Yeah, you probably could have got them for 50.
00:17:38Man.
00:17:40Fun fact, this guy touched her butt earlier.
00:17:44What's he doing?
00:17:46Impromptu photo shoot.
00:17:49Here.
00:17:54It's-a me, Mario.
00:17:58I like her overalls, though.
00:18:00Oh, shit.
00:18:01What's happening?
00:18:02What just happened?
00:18:03What's happening?
00:18:04Hello, world.
00:18:05I do push-ups.
00:18:06Yeah, me too, bub.
00:18:08Sometimes.
00:18:12Take off your shirt.
00:18:13That's what friends do.
00:18:14Best friends?
00:18:15Yeah, we're best friends forever.
00:18:17Aw.
00:18:18Take off your clothes.
00:18:19Okay.
00:18:24Whoa, this is so sus.
00:18:26He's buttering her up.
00:18:28Ooh.
00:18:29Clink.
00:18:30Hey-o.
00:18:31Boobs.
00:18:32Stop.
00:18:33Boobs, babe.
00:18:34There's boobs.
00:18:38Do you think she wants it?
00:18:39I don't know.
00:18:41Oh, I think she wants it.
00:18:45What if Mario comes home?
00:18:46I know.
00:18:47I know.
00:18:51Are we bad people if we're watching this?
00:18:53No.
00:18:56This guy gets a lot of action.
00:19:01Here.
00:19:02Keep watching.
00:19:03Okay.
00:19:06What are you doing?
00:19:08Taking your shirt off right outside.
00:19:14Paper.
00:19:15Take it off.
00:19:19And now what?
00:19:21Keep watching.
00:19:22Okay.
00:19:36What are they doing?
00:19:37Um...
00:19:40He's kissing her neck.
00:19:42What are we doing?
00:19:43That's so cool.
00:19:44Come on.
00:19:45Pay attention.
00:19:46This is crazy.
00:19:47Pay attention.
00:19:50Um...
00:19:51Okay.
00:19:52Yeah.
00:19:57Yeah?
00:19:59Yeah.
00:20:00Yeah.
00:20:06Yeah?
00:20:13That's her.
00:20:16Come on.
00:20:17Take them off.
00:20:18Yes, ma'am.
00:20:24Are you sure?
00:20:25Yeah.
00:20:30Okay.
00:21:01I love you.
00:21:03I love you, too.
00:21:04Can you go a little faster?
00:21:06Yeah, sure.
00:21:10A little harder.
00:21:12Like that?
00:21:13Yeah.
00:21:23I think I'm gonna...
00:21:24Can you hold it?
00:21:25Yeah, yeah.
00:21:26Just slow down if you have to.
00:21:27No, I'm good.
00:21:43I'm sorry.
00:21:45I'm sorry.
00:21:47It's okay.
00:21:48Why are you apologizing?
00:21:57That was faster than usual.
00:21:59It was great.
00:22:02I mean, we just never done that before.
00:22:07It's hot.
00:22:09All right, I'm gonna get you a washcloth.
00:22:11Love you.
00:22:12Love you, too.
00:22:27I love you.
00:22:57I love you.
00:23:27I love you.
00:23:45I mean, it's totally obvious.
00:23:48Margo is Brent's wife, Sear's girlfriend, or whatever.
00:23:51And while she was out of town, Brent got thirsty and straight up cheated on her.
00:23:55That's my theory, too.
00:23:56Oh, okay.
00:23:57How can we be so sure?
00:23:58I mean, maybe they're just, like, in an open relationship or something.
00:24:02No.
00:24:03Or maybe you're projecting your feelings about monogamy onto them?
00:24:07But what are the odds of that, though?
00:24:08What?
00:24:09That they're swingers, or do people use the word swinger anymore?
00:24:12Siri, what percentage of couples are in an open relationship?
00:24:16You think Siri can answer that question?
00:24:18Bloomstein and Schwartz found that 15% of married couples share an agreement that allows for extramarital sex.
00:24:2415%?
00:24:26I'm legit impressed.
00:24:27And that's an average, I'm assuming.
00:24:28I bet that within the greater metropolitan area, it's, like, way higher.
00:24:31I mean, this place is fuck city.
00:24:34Ooh, Margo.
00:24:35Yeah, Margo.
00:24:36So wrong.
00:24:42I just wish we could hear what they were saying to each other.
00:24:47Huh.
00:24:49Huh.
00:24:50Brother?
00:24:51Sibling?
00:24:52What?
00:24:54Nothing.
00:24:55Jeremy, you just said, huh.
00:24:57Like, huh, I just had a thought that would be relevant to this conversation.
00:25:02So...
00:25:03Okay.
00:25:04When Tommy and I were in college, he used to have this huge crush on this super cute lit major named Kylie.
00:25:09All these dorks wanted to get with her, but none of them had the balls to, you know, actually talk to her.
00:25:15Please continue.
00:25:16One night I went over to smoke weed and watch Deep Blue Sea.
00:25:20As one does.
00:25:21And I discover they figured out how to jerry-rig a laser pointer into a long-range microphone
00:25:26so that we could all low-key listen in on Kylie's private conversations
00:25:30in hopes that she would miraculously be confessing her love for one of them.
00:25:34Oh, dear.
00:25:35You were an accomplice to this?
00:25:36No.
00:25:38Maybe.
00:25:39Okay, it was his idea, and he masterminded the whole thing after watching a tutorial on YouTube.
00:25:45What happened?
00:25:46Nothing.
00:25:47We turned it on.
00:25:48Nope.
00:25:49And the instant we got a signal, everybody was crushed,
00:25:51because from the moaning and the giggling, it became immediately apparent
00:25:55that Kylie and her roommate were having a naked tickle party with Seth Gildenstein.
00:26:00Gildenstein?
00:26:01Gildenstein, yeah.
00:26:02Kylie was in the 15%.
00:26:04But a trivia note on Seth Gildenstein, never was he seen in a pair of shoes.
00:26:08Is there a what?
00:26:09Like, he only ever wore rollerblades.
00:26:10Yeah, and still somehow got laid.
00:26:11Laid a lot.
00:26:12Enough about Seth's choice of footwear.
00:26:15How does this laser pointer thingy work?
00:26:22Okay, class.
00:26:24Large picture windows, just like this one, when you make a noise, they vibrate.
00:26:29Like right now, this is vibrating from the sound of my voice.
00:26:32So, if you shine a laser through it, what do you think happens to the beam?
00:26:36It also vibrates.
00:26:38Gold star for you.
00:26:39Exactly.
00:26:40The little dot of the laser wiggles from the vibrations.
00:26:43And if you can capture the pattern of the wiggling,
00:26:45you can translate that into waveforms you can actually hear.
00:26:48Why haven't we done this yet?
00:26:50Well, Pippa, it's probably illegal, and B, we can't.
00:26:55I mean, if we shine a laser into their apartment, it terminates.
00:26:58There's no way to capture the vibrations from across the street.
00:27:01In order to do that, we'd have to bounce the beam back here.
00:27:05What?
00:27:06Unless we sneak into Brent's studio and perfectly place a mirror behind his window,
00:27:11we're out of luck.
00:27:12There's a satyr in their apartment.
00:27:14What?
00:27:15You know, the satyr, the Roman fertility spirit?
00:27:18Look.
00:27:43I have a bad idea.
00:27:46I cannot believe we're doing this right now.
00:27:49This is exactly what I'm talking about.
00:27:51Future us is going to be so impressed.
00:27:53Yeah, well, present tense me is freaking the fuck out.
00:27:55Present tense you is also sober.
00:27:57True.
00:27:58What's the worst thing that could happen?
00:28:13Oh, my God.
00:28:37Oh, my God.
00:28:42Oh, my God.
00:29:12Oh, my God.
00:29:13Oh, my God.
00:29:14Oh, my God.
00:29:15Oh, my God.
00:29:16Oh, my God.
00:29:17Oh, my God.
00:29:18Oh, my God.
00:29:19Oh, my God.
00:29:20Oh, my God.
00:29:21Oh, my God.
00:29:22Oh, my God.
00:29:23Oh, my God.
00:29:24Oh, my God.
00:29:25Oh, my God.
00:29:26Oh, my God.
00:29:27Oh, my God.
00:29:28Oh, my God.
00:29:29Oh, my God.
00:29:30Oh, my God.
00:29:31Oh, my God.
00:29:32Oh, my God.
00:29:33Oh, my God.
00:29:34Oh, my God.
00:29:35Oh, my God.
00:29:36Oh, my God.
00:29:37Oh, my God.
00:29:38Oh, my God.
00:29:39Oh, my God.
00:29:40Oh, my God.
00:29:41Oh, my God.
00:29:42Oh, my God.
00:29:43Oh, my God.
00:29:44Oh, my God.
00:29:45Oh, my God.
00:29:46Oh, my God.
00:29:47Oh, my God.
00:29:48Oh, my God.
00:29:49Oh, my God.
00:29:50Oh, my God.
00:29:51Oh, my God.
00:29:52Oh, my God.
00:29:53Oh, my God.
00:29:54Oh, my God.
00:29:55Oh, my God.
00:29:56Oh, my God.
00:29:57Oh, my God.
00:29:58Oh, my God.
00:29:59Oh, my God.
00:30:00Oh, my God.
00:30:01Oh, my God.
00:30:02Oh, my God.
00:30:03Oh, my God.
00:30:04Oh, my God.
00:30:05Oh, my God.
00:30:06Oh, my God.
00:30:07Oh, my God.
00:30:08Oh, my God.
00:30:09Oh, my God.
00:30:10Oh, my God.
00:30:11Oh, my God.
00:30:12Oh, my God.
00:30:13Oh, my God.
00:30:14Oh, my God.
00:30:15Oh, my God.
00:30:16Oh, my God.
00:30:17Oh, my God.
00:30:18Oh, my God.
00:30:19Oh, my God.
00:30:20Oh, my God.
00:30:21Oh, my God.
00:30:22Oh, my God.
00:30:23Oh, my God.
00:30:24Oh, my God.
00:30:25Oh, my God.
00:30:26Oh, my God.
00:30:27Oh, my God.
00:30:28Oh, my God.
00:30:29Oh, my God.
00:30:30Oh, my God.
00:30:31Oh, my God.
00:30:32Oh, my God.
00:30:33Oh, my God.
00:30:34Oh, my God.
00:30:35Oh, my God.
00:30:36Oh, my God.
00:30:37Oh, my God.
00:30:38Oh, my God.
00:30:39Oh, my God.
00:30:40Oh, my God.
00:30:41Oh, my God.
00:30:42Oh, my God.
00:30:43Oh, my God.
00:30:44Oh, my God.
00:30:45Oh, my God.
00:30:46Oh, my God.
00:30:47Oh, my God.
00:30:48Oh, my God.
00:30:49Oh, my God.
00:30:50Oh, my God.
00:30:51Oh, my God.
00:30:52Oh, my God.
00:30:53Oh, my God.
00:30:54Oh, my God.
00:30:55Oh, my God.
00:30:56Oh, my God.
00:30:57Oh, my God.
00:30:58Oh, my God.
00:30:59Oh, my God.
00:31:00Oh, my God.
00:31:01Oh, my God.
00:31:02Oh, my God.
00:31:03Oh, my God.
00:31:04Oh, my God.
00:31:05Oh, my God.
00:31:06Oh, my God.
00:31:07Oh, my God.
00:31:08Oh, my God.
00:31:09Oh, my God.
00:31:10Oh, my God.
00:31:11Oh, my God.
00:31:12Oh, my God.
00:31:13Oh, my God.
00:31:14Oh, my God.
00:31:15Oh, my God.
00:31:16Oh, my God.
00:31:17Oh, my God.
00:31:18Oh, my God.
00:31:19Oh, my God.
00:31:20Oh, my God.
00:31:21Oh, my God.
00:31:22Oh, my God.
00:31:23Oh, my God.
00:31:24Oh, my God.
00:31:25Oh, my God.
00:31:26Oh, my God.
00:31:27Oh, my God.
00:31:28Oh, my God.
00:31:29Oh, my God.
00:31:30Oh, my God.
00:31:31Oh, my God.
00:31:32Oh, my God.
00:31:33Oh, my God.
00:31:34Oh, my God.
00:31:35Oh, my God.
00:31:36Oh, my God.
00:31:38She could have dressed as any of the Tent-A-Moms, but no, Margo.
00:31:44So how do we do, chicken?
00:31:46Mission accomplished.
00:31:48This is what I like to hear.
00:31:53All right. Ready?
00:31:55Copy.
00:31:56Okay.
00:31:58So, you looking for a little green dot?
00:32:01Tell me, and I'll move it up or down or whatever.
00:32:03I don't see it.
00:32:04Well, it's there somewhere.
00:32:05I know, but I don't see it.
00:32:07Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!
00:32:09What?
00:32:10Just take it longer.
00:32:11They were gonna think they were gonna get assassinated.
00:32:13Okay.
00:32:14Okay, start lower.
00:32:16Okay, okay.
00:32:18Okay, go right.
00:32:19A little more.
00:32:21Okay, stop, stop, stop.
00:32:22And now go up.
00:32:24A little higher.
00:32:26A little more, and stop.
00:32:29Okay, now what?
00:32:31Now, we hope that the angle of the mirror
00:32:34bounced it back here somewhere.
00:32:36This isn't the most scientific of methods.
00:32:41Hold on.
00:32:48Aww.
00:33:03I am so impressed right now.
00:33:06Ahh!
00:33:17Wait, wait.
00:33:30They sound like the teachers from Charlie Brown.
00:33:32Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
00:33:37Okay.
00:33:40Okay.
00:33:43Okay.
00:33:47Aww.
00:33:53Aww.
00:34:03Aww.
00:34:15Aww.
00:34:25Aww.
00:34:35Aww.
00:34:43Aww.
00:34:53Aww.
00:35:03I don't want a divorce. I, I, no.
00:35:07At a certain point I have to start thinking about a divorce.
00:35:09I'm trying my best. I'm really trying.
00:35:11What else can I do?
00:35:14How long am I supposed to put up with this?
00:35:18I'm sorry.
00:35:20If you're sorry, you change.
00:35:21I will. I will.
00:35:23Will you? I thought, will you? Huh? Will you?
00:35:26Will you change?
00:35:27Yes.
00:35:28You will?
00:35:29Yes.
00:35:30Okay, so did I fuck someone tonight?
00:35:31No.
00:35:32No?
00:35:32No.
00:35:33Did, did, was someone sucking my cock?
00:35:34No.
00:35:35No, they weren't. Do you still love me?
00:35:36Yes.
00:35:37Then stop acting like such a fucking cunt!
00:35:40I'm sorry.
00:36:03You okay?
00:36:04Yeah, I just, I think I'm coming down with something.
00:36:09Yeah.
00:36:10There's a nasty hangover going through Montreal right now.
00:36:33Hey, Pipsqueak? Can you come here for a sec?
00:36:50Hello.
00:36:53How may I help you?
00:36:55Hi, I'm just looking for some new glasses.
00:36:58Hi, I'm just looking for some new glasses.
00:37:01Pippa is the best at picking out frames.
00:37:04Really?
00:37:05Did you bring your prescription?
00:37:06No, I actually haven't had my eyes checked in like a few years. It might have changed.
00:37:12Pippa, you could squeeze her in before you're 2.30, right?
00:37:16An eye exam?
00:37:17Oh, that would be great.
00:37:21Sure, yeah.
00:37:22Thank you. Um, I'm Julia, by the way.
00:37:26Pippa, nice to meet you.
00:37:28Nice to meet you.
00:37:32I-F-O-Z-O-P?
00:37:41Could be another F. I can't tell.
00:37:51A or B?
00:37:55Um, could I see that again?
00:38:00A or B?
00:38:04They look exactly the same to me. Is that okay?
00:38:10You have terrible vision, but most people's vision sucks.
00:38:16That's how I have a job.
00:38:18I'm going to look at the surface of your eye to see if there's any imperfections.
00:38:22Let's just put your chin right there.
00:38:26You're going to see a bright light for a second.
00:38:53Good. Want to come in closer now?
00:39:02Look up.
00:39:05Left. Good.
00:39:09Right. Good.
00:39:18Once again.
00:39:23So indecisive. What do you think?
00:39:25Well, those are definitely more sexy librarian.
00:39:32Sexy librarian?
00:39:33Yeah, like, meet me in the stacks, big boy.
00:39:36Let's read the latest Emma Straub novel together.
00:39:39Where these, they're more femme fatale.
00:39:42Like, I'm going to bang Dookie Houser then slit his throat.
00:39:46Oh my god.
00:39:48I'm going to bang Dookie Houser then slit his throat.
00:39:51Oh my god.
00:39:53Do you think I can pull these off?
00:39:54Of course you can.
00:39:55The great thing about new glasses is you get to decide who you want to be.
00:40:00Well, okay. These ones remind me of my barista.
00:40:04So, I guess I am the femme fatale.
00:40:11I think you might be.
00:40:13They really are so you.
00:40:16Hey, this might sound weird.
00:40:22Maybe this is awkward.
00:40:24Would you ever want to get a cup of coffee sometime or something?
00:40:29Is that weird?
00:40:30No.
00:40:31Are you sure?
00:40:33No, I'd love that.
00:40:35I mean, I know we just met, but you seem cool.
00:40:39Thank you.
00:40:40Well, can I have your number?
00:40:43Yeah, why so?
00:40:45Awesome. Well, some friends of mine opened a spa this weekend.
00:40:49Maybe we could check that out or something.
00:40:51I'll call you.
00:40:53Yeah, that sounds amazing.
00:40:55Bye.
00:40:56Bye.
00:41:01Mum, what's wrong?
00:41:14Mum?
00:41:19Whether it's your birthday, anniversary or any old Tuesday,
00:41:22there's always a reason to celebrate.
00:41:24So don't let ED ruin your party.
00:41:26Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for...
00:41:44Oh, my God.
00:41:52What did he just say?
00:41:59Oh, we just both have our shirts off and everything is fine.
00:42:03Completely professional.
00:42:07Oh, jeez Louise.
00:42:14It's a trap.
00:42:21No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:23Too touchy.
00:42:25Get your big-ass necklace and get out of there, girl.
00:42:36Oh, my God.
00:42:43Come on, bro.
00:42:57What?
00:42:59This can't actually work.
00:43:06Oh.
00:43:14Oh.
00:43:24Feels good, right?
00:43:26Yeah.
00:43:35What?
00:43:37What?
00:43:39What?
00:43:40Shut up.
00:43:41I know.
00:43:42Did you talk to her?
00:43:43If by her you mean Julia, then yeah.
00:43:46Julia?
00:43:47But, dude, I know what the inside of her oculus looks like.
00:43:50Of all the eye clinics in the world.
00:43:52She walks into mine.
00:43:54And what's even crazier, we totally hit it off
00:43:57and we're going to hang out this weekend.
00:43:59This is crazy.
00:44:01To be honest, I think that she just needs a friend.
00:44:03Someone to talk to about her super unhealthy relationship.
00:44:07Uh, yeah, I saw him today.
00:44:10He kind of took advantage of this girl.
00:44:13What?
00:44:14He screwed someone while she was with me?
00:44:16Uh, technically oral, but it was not cool.
00:44:20So, I don't know.
00:44:22I was thinking, and I think maybe this isn't good for us.
00:44:26Yeah, I agree.
00:44:27It felt weird not telling her.
00:44:28Yeah, but it feels weird to be spying on our neighbors, right?
00:44:31I mean, sneaking around, keeping our lights off
00:44:34so they don't see us.
00:44:36You're not really seeing her this weekend, are you?
00:44:38If I was cheating on you, wouldn't you want to know?
00:44:41I don't know that I would.
00:44:43I don't love that you keep going to these hypothetical places.
00:44:46But it's not hypothetical here.
00:44:48That asshole is being totally unfaithful, and we know that.
00:44:51So now I have the moral responsibility
00:44:53to do the right thing.
00:44:56Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:44:57Chinta, babe.
00:45:00When we decided to move in together,
00:45:02I was excited about you and me taking this step.
00:45:06I get that you're trying to do the right thing.
00:45:08I get it, but let's get back to us.
00:45:13Maybe I could just tell her this weekend.
00:45:25Am I not enough for you?
00:45:27I promise I will rip the band-aid off and be done.
00:45:31Maybe it'll give her the confidence she needs.
00:45:34Where are you going?
00:45:35I'm gonna get a drink.
00:45:36But we were just...
00:45:37Hippa, she doesn't need to be saved.
00:45:39She doesn't need to be saved by you.
00:45:41This is straight-up none of your business.
00:45:43Thomas.
00:45:56Hello?
00:45:58Hello?
00:46:00Baby, I'm talking to you.
00:46:02Yeah?
00:46:06Hmm?
00:46:08Hmm?
00:46:16I was feeling gloomy all day
00:46:20because of our little spat last night,
00:46:23and I really didn't want to talk to you.
00:46:27I was kind of hoping I could make it up to you.
00:46:32Baby.
00:46:34Mm-hmm?
00:46:36I'm...
00:46:39I'm just...
00:46:40Just relax, will you?
00:46:43I am. I am relaxed.
00:46:45You're not relaxed.
00:46:46I am relaxed.
00:46:48I'm just not really in the mood tonight, okay?
00:46:52You sure I can't convince you?
00:46:55You could do, but the only stuff...
00:46:59The only sweet is just not tonight, okay?
00:47:03I forgive you for yesterday. I do.
00:47:34Pippa. Pippa.
00:47:37Hi. Hi.
00:47:39Oh, my God, I so need this.
00:47:42I kind of had a rough week.
00:47:44Let's go.
00:47:50You seem to really love your job.
00:47:53I do. I don't know.
00:47:55I had the realization the other day that...
00:47:59I really like ophthalmology.
00:48:01Like, it just makes sense to my brain.
00:48:04You're really good at it.
00:48:06Thank you.
00:48:07But I'm going to be doing it for the rest of my life,
00:48:11and I finally achieved the one thing that I've worked years and years to do,
00:48:16and in the process, I kind of killed off
00:48:19all possibilities of something else.
00:48:22Yeah.
00:48:23It's like when you're so obsessed with something
00:48:25that you forget to pick your head up and look around and go,
00:48:29oh, wait, what am I even doing?
00:48:35That you're too far down the rabbit hole.
00:48:41Yeah.
00:48:43I have the opposite problem with you.
00:48:46What do you do?
00:48:48I'm kind of trying to figure that out.
00:48:51I was a...
00:48:53I was a model.
00:48:55Oh, my God.
00:48:56I say that like I'm embarrassed about it.
00:48:58I was a model, but I'm not anymore.
00:49:02What do you mean?
00:49:04It's complicated.
00:49:06I guess it's hard to find deeper meaning in your work
00:49:10when your job is to force up a smile every day
00:49:13for the world to decide whether you're sexy enough.
00:49:16I mean, even though you feel numb and objectified,
00:49:19you're addicted because your sense of self-worth is all wrapped up in it.
00:49:24I decided that my second nervous breakdown would be my last.
00:49:30I walked away.
00:49:32Now I'm looking at the rest of my life and I'm so lost.
00:49:36But you could do anything.
00:49:40What's holding you back?
00:49:43Honestly, myself.
00:49:45I have, like, 8,000 interests and zero skills.
00:49:49Come on, that's not true.
00:49:51Seriously, I didn't go to college.
00:49:53I can barely type.
00:49:55I just bought this wireless printer
00:49:57and it took me literally forever to figure out how it works.
00:49:59Yeah, well, on the plus side, you don't have any student loans.
00:50:03On minus side, I don't have a career.
00:50:06My husband, he got me this job
00:50:08working at this, like, fancy-pants photo studio.
00:50:11And it's cool, I get to travel around for gallery openings and such,
00:50:15and it's neat, but it's not my raison d'être.
00:50:24♪
00:50:43This feels so nice.
00:50:50What are you waiting for?
00:50:54♪
00:51:02So, your husband, what does he do?
00:51:04Oh, his name's Sebastian, well, Seb.
00:51:06Seb.
00:51:08He's a photographer, like, a real one.
00:51:11Kind of a name in that world, actually.
00:51:14He's a genius.
00:51:16I mean, I know people throw that word around a lot,
00:51:18but he really is one.
00:51:21Do you guys meet through work?
00:51:23We might have slept together after a shoot.
00:51:27Usually, when that would happen,
00:51:29I was just another exotic flavour for them to try,
00:51:32but Seb, he loves me.
00:51:39Sounds like a catch.
00:51:41Oh, and he's, like, incredible in bed, so...
00:51:44I must be all sunshine and roses then, huh?
00:51:49Yeah.
00:51:51I mean, he's an artist, so he's eccentric.
00:51:58That comes with a certain baggage.
00:52:02But without him, I don't know what I'd do with my life.
00:52:09He's all I've got.
00:52:20Are you OK, Margot?
00:52:26Who's Margot?
00:52:29Julia!
00:52:31I'm so sorry, I know your name!
00:52:34Margot, that is so funny,
00:52:36because, like, I just had this Halloween...
00:52:38Halloween...
00:52:40Halloween...
00:52:42Halloween...
00:52:44Halloween...
00:52:46Halloween...
00:52:48Halloween...
00:52:50Anyway, my husband is just a complex individual, is all.
00:52:56You should meet him sometime.
00:53:00Yeah, yeah.
00:53:48Hi, Bacon.
00:54:18Hi.
00:54:48Hi.
00:55:18Hi.
00:55:48Hi.
00:56:18DOOR CREAKS
00:56:48DOOR CREAKS
00:57:18DOOR CREAKS
00:57:49GLASS SHATTERS
00:57:52COUGHS
00:58:14DOOR CREAKS
00:58:18DOOR CREAKS
00:58:25Jules.
00:58:27What are you doing up?
00:58:29Uh, reading.
00:58:31And that new book I've been mentioned?
00:58:34Must be aggressive.
00:58:39Yeah. What are you doing up?
00:58:42Pippa!
00:58:43Thomas!
00:58:44What are you doing?
00:58:45No, no, don't...
00:58:46Tom, you don't understand.
00:58:47I thought we were done with this.
00:58:48I'm really worried.
00:58:49Worried about what?
00:58:51Yeah, nice to meet you, son.
00:58:52Didn't agree with me.
00:58:53I'm gonna stay up too late.
00:58:55Good night.
00:58:56Good night.
00:58:57Yeah, I'm real worried too.
00:58:59Why are you acting so ridiculous?
00:59:13What did you do?
00:59:16I don't know.
00:59:23Pippa, what did you do?
00:59:24Shh!
00:59:28You told her.
00:59:30Thomas, I had to.
00:59:33PIPPA SOBS
00:59:44Look at her.
00:59:46Look at her.
00:59:47I know you think this is wrong.
00:59:48It is wrong.
00:59:49I couldn't just sit back and watch.
00:59:51You didn't need to watch, Pippa.
00:59:53We both decided to peer in on them.
00:59:55We both did that, so it's not my fault that we discovered this.
00:59:58Wait, what is she doing?
00:59:59It was your idea in the first place.
01:00:00Pippa, give me those.
01:00:12Oh, my God.
01:00:15Is she...
01:00:19Thomas, what...
01:00:21What do we do?
01:00:22Jesus, are we gonna watch this woman stab this man?
01:00:24I'm calling the cops.
01:00:25No, no, you can't call the cops.
01:00:27I'm calling the cops.
01:00:28I'm calling the cops.
01:00:29We're about to watch a murder that you instigated.
01:00:30I didn't tell her to kill anyone.
01:00:32Don't call the police.
01:00:33Then what do we do, Pippa?
01:00:34I don't know!
01:00:41Ah!
01:00:58Ah!
01:01:21Fuck!
01:01:23I wish we had another room.
01:01:28Fuck.
01:01:54Say when.
01:01:56When?
01:02:11Thomas.
01:02:13Yeah?
01:02:17You have every right in the world to be mad at me.
01:02:22I am.
01:02:26I'm... I'm disappointed.
01:02:29You know?
01:02:32Yeah.
01:02:34I know.
01:02:38I want to know that I can trust you.
01:02:43You can.
01:02:48I want to feel like I'm enough for you.
01:02:50You are.
01:02:53I'm done.
01:02:55I will throw away the binoculars.
01:02:59I... I will not see her again.
01:03:03I'm sorry.
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:22Can I get a hug?
01:03:25Yes.
01:03:31I love you.
01:03:33I love you, too.
01:03:46No.
01:03:48What?
01:03:51No.
01:03:53What are you doing?
01:03:54No, no, no, no.
01:04:05Oh...
01:04:07Oh, my...
01:04:09No.
01:04:13What do we... What do we do?
01:04:21Damn.
01:04:26I have to go.
01:04:28Wait, what?
01:04:29I can't be here.
01:04:30Where are you going?
01:04:31I don't know.
01:04:32Maybe I'll stay with my sisters.
01:04:34I just can't be here.
01:04:36Thomas, you can't go.
01:04:38No.
01:04:39Thomas, please.
01:04:40You can't go.
01:04:41I need you right now.
01:04:42No, no.
01:04:43I can't be with you.
01:04:44Thomas, please.
01:04:45I told you we needed to stop, but no.
01:04:46You and your goddamn sense of self-righteousness.
01:04:48You and your goddamn sense of self-righteousness had to go and do that.
01:04:50Thomas, I...
01:04:51Thomas, I'm really scared, and I need you.
01:04:53Please don't go.
01:04:54I love you.
01:04:55If you loved me, you would have listened to me.
01:04:57How was I supposed to know what was gonna happen?
01:04:59Like, what am I supposed to do?
01:05:00There's nothing you can't do, bitch, but she's dead!
01:05:03Because of you!
01:05:05You ended that fucking woman's life!
01:05:07You did that!
01:05:08Stop.
01:05:09I don't even know you anymore.
01:05:10Please, stop!
01:05:14We're done.
01:05:16It's over.
01:05:18Thomas!
01:05:39Hi, uh, it's Pepper from L'Optique.
01:05:42Yeah, your glasses came in.
01:05:44Open until six, mm-hmm?
01:06:15Hi.
01:06:16You haven't reached Julia, but if you're feeling quaint, please leave a voicemail.
01:06:20Beep.
01:06:23Uh, hi.
01:06:24Uh, Julia, it's...
01:06:26It's Pepper.
01:06:28The optometrist.
01:06:29Um...
01:06:31I just...
01:06:32I wanted to let you know...
01:06:35I wanted to let you know...
01:06:40Uh, your glasses are ready.
01:06:41Uh, you can...
01:06:44You know, I'm really sorry.
01:06:46I'm so sorry.
01:06:47I didn't know.
01:06:48If I would've known, I would've never done that.
01:06:50I'm so sorry.
01:06:51I don't know what...
01:06:52I don't know what happened.
01:06:55I'm so sorry.
01:06:59I'm so sorry.
01:07:14I'm so sorry.
01:07:45I'm so sorry.
01:07:46I'm so sorry.
01:07:47I'm so sorry.
01:07:48I'm so sorry.
01:07:49I'm so sorry.
01:07:50I'm so sorry.
01:07:51I'm so sorry.
01:07:52I'm so sorry.
01:07:53I'm so sorry.
01:07:54I'm so sorry.
01:07:55I'm so sorry.
01:07:56I'm so sorry.
01:07:57I'm so sorry.
01:07:58I'm so sorry.
01:07:59I'm so sorry.
01:08:00I'm so sorry.
01:08:01I'm so sorry.
01:08:02I'm so sorry.
01:08:03I'm so sorry.
01:08:04I'm so sorry.
01:08:05I'm so sorry.
01:08:06I'm so sorry.
01:08:07I'm so sorry.
01:08:08I'm so sorry.
01:08:09I'm so sorry.
01:08:10I'm so sorry.
01:08:11I'm so sorry.
01:08:12I'm so sorry.
01:08:13I'm so sorry.
01:08:14I'm so sorry.
01:08:15I'm so sorry.
01:08:16I'm so sorry.
01:08:17I'm so sorry.
01:08:18I'm so sorry.
01:08:19I'm so sorry.
01:08:20I'm so sorry.
01:08:21I'm so sorry.
01:08:22I'm so sorry.
01:08:23I'm so sorry.
01:08:24I'm so sorry.
01:08:25I'm so sorry.
01:08:26I'm so sorry.
01:08:27I'm so sorry.
01:08:28I'm so sorry.
01:08:29I'm so sorry.
01:08:30I'm so sorry.
01:08:31I'm so sorry.
01:08:32I'm so sorry.
01:08:33I'm so sorry.
01:08:34I'm so sorry.
01:08:35I'm so sorry.
01:08:36I'm so sorry.
01:08:37I'm so sorry.
01:08:38I'm so sorry.
01:08:39I'm so sorry.
01:08:40I'm so sorry.
01:08:41I'm so sorry.
01:08:42I'm so sorry.
01:08:43I'm so sorry.
01:08:44I'm so sorry.
01:08:45I'm so sorry.
01:08:46I'm so sorry.
01:08:47I'm so sorry.
01:08:48I'm so sorry.
01:08:49I'm so sorry.
01:08:50I'm so sorry.
01:08:51I'm so sorry.
01:08:52I'm so sorry.
01:08:53I'm so sorry.
01:08:54I'm so sorry.
01:08:55I'm so sorry.
01:08:56I'm so sorry.
01:08:57I'm so sorry.
01:08:58I'm so sorry.
01:08:59I'm so sorry.
01:09:00I'm so sorry.
01:09:01I'm so sorry.
01:09:02I'm so sorry.
01:09:03I'm so sorry.
01:09:04I'm so sorry.
01:09:05I'm so sorry.
01:09:06I'm so sorry.
01:09:07I'm so sorry.
01:09:08I'm so sorry.
01:09:09I'm so sorry.
01:09:10I'm so sorry.
01:09:11I'm so sorry.
01:09:12I'm so sorry.
01:09:13I'm so sorry.
01:09:14I'm so sorry.
01:09:15I'm so sorry.
01:09:16I'm so sorry.
01:09:17I'm so sorry.
01:09:18I'm so sorry.
01:09:19I'm so sorry.
01:09:20I'm so sorry.
01:09:21I'm so sorry.
01:09:22I'm so sorry.
01:09:23I'm so sorry.
01:09:24I'm so sorry.
01:09:25I'm so sorry.
01:09:26I'm so sorry.
01:09:27I'm so sorry.
01:09:28I'm so sorry.
01:09:29I'm so sorry.
01:09:30I'm so sorry.
01:09:31I'm so sorry.
01:09:32I'm so sorry.
01:09:33I'm so sorry.
01:09:34I'm so sorry.
01:09:35I'm so sorry.
01:09:36I'm so sorry.
01:09:37I'm so sorry.
01:09:38I'm so sorry.
01:09:39I'm so sorry.
01:09:40I'm so sorry.
01:09:41I'm so sorry.
01:09:42I'm so sorry.
01:09:43I'm so sorry.
01:09:44I'm so sorry.
01:09:45I'm so sorry.
01:09:46I'm so sorry.
01:09:47I'm so sorry.
01:09:48I'm so sorry.
01:09:49I'm so sorry.
01:09:50I'm so sorry.
01:09:51I'm so sorry.
01:09:52I'm so sorry.
01:09:53I'm so sorry.
01:09:54I'm so sorry.
01:09:55I'm so sorry.
01:09:56I'm so sorry.
01:09:57I'm so sorry.
01:09:58I'm so sorry.
01:09:59I'm so sorry.
01:10:00I'm so sorry.
01:10:01I'm so sorry.
01:10:02I'm so sorry.
01:10:03I'm so sorry.
01:10:04I'm so sorry.
01:10:05I'm so sorry.
01:10:06I'm so sorry.
01:10:07I'm so sorry.
01:10:08I'm so sorry.
01:10:10I'm so sorry.
01:10:12I'm so sorry.
01:10:13I'm so sorry.
01:10:15I'm so sorry.
01:10:35Do I know you?
01:10:36I... I don't think you do.
01:10:39You've got a familiar face.
01:10:42Pretty eyes.
01:10:44Thanks.
01:10:46Est-ce qu'on me sert?
01:10:49Vodka tonic, s'il vous plait?
01:10:51No, that's not the kind of place you order a vodka tonic.
01:10:53Deux penicillin, merci.
01:11:02You don't mind if I sit here, do you?
01:11:05I move when you're Tinder a couple of times.
01:11:10No, I don't mind.
01:11:14So, stranger.
01:11:16I'm trying to work something out.
01:11:19Can I answer your question?
01:11:22Um...
01:11:24Yeah, sure.
01:11:26It's a personal question.
01:11:31Do you watch pornography?
01:11:34Um...
01:11:35Excuse me?
01:11:36Porn. Do you watch it?
01:11:40Not frequently, no.
01:11:42But on occasion?
01:11:44Maybe.
01:11:45Right. Most people watch porn all the time.
01:11:48Husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers,
01:11:51mums, dads, pets, everyone.
01:11:54Everyone watches porn.
01:11:56Now, I bet you there's a dozen people on this block
01:11:57jerking off to porn right this very second.
01:12:00People in very serious relationships.
01:12:03And it doesn't matter, right?
01:12:06Can I ask you another question?
01:12:08You ever been in a serious relationship?
01:12:12Yeah.
01:12:14And did your boyfriend or girlfriend...
01:12:17Boyfriend.
01:12:18Did your boyfriend ever masturbate?
01:12:20Um...
01:12:22Probably.
01:12:23He did. Did you?
01:12:26Maybe.
01:12:27And did this simple act change the love you had for him?
01:12:31No.
01:12:32It didn't.
01:12:33Why is that?
01:12:34I don't know. Because it's meaningless?
01:12:35Exactly.
01:12:37And tell me this.
01:12:38What's the difference between your vibrator and a human penis?
01:12:41How do you know I have a vibrator?
01:12:43Because you're a woman.
01:12:45A vibrator doesn't have feelings.
01:12:49A vibrator isn't connected to a brain.
01:12:51I would argue that most penises aren't connected to a brain.
01:12:53A vibrator isn't connected to a soul.
01:12:56Well, I don't know about you,
01:12:57but I've had plenty of sex that was just as meaningless,
01:12:59if not more meaningless, than masturbation.
01:13:01The only difference is,
01:13:02it's just more fun having sex with a person than it is with your hand.
01:13:06Not everyone agrees with you.
01:13:13No.
01:13:14They don't.
01:13:17No matter how much you fucking love them.
01:13:32Sorry, I'm just, um...
01:13:35I'm going through the most difficult, um...
01:13:39separation
01:13:41in my life right now.
01:13:42And, um...
01:13:44I know I can be a bit blunt. I'm sorry.
01:13:48It's OK.
01:13:50Thanks.
01:13:51He asked on his Master's.
01:13:54Say what?
01:13:55He asked on his Master's.
01:13:57I'm sorry.
01:13:59I don't know.
01:14:00He asked on his Master's.
01:14:02I don't know.
01:14:03You haven't been through that yet.
01:14:04I'm sorry, I've been through it,
01:14:16I'm sorry, I've been through it.
01:14:18I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
01:14:19The ass and his masters, it's a fable,
01:14:22you just made me think of it.
01:14:24The ass referring to a donkey, in this case.
01:14:27Story goes, this donkey, he's owned by an herb farmer
01:14:31who doesn't feed him well.
01:14:32He has to work in this garden all day long
01:14:34and he's starving, so he goes to this god, Jupiter.
01:14:38And he's like, hey man, can I please get a new master?
01:14:41I'm starving over here.
01:14:42And Jupiter's feeling really gracious,
01:14:44so he's like, sure thing, wish granted.
01:14:47And the next day, the donkey, he is sold to a potter.
01:14:50Great, life must be peaches and cream now, right?
01:14:53Wrong, it's the worst job a donkey could have.
01:14:55He's fed well, but now he has to carry
01:14:57these super heavy bricks to and fro all day.
01:14:59So he goes to Jupiter again and he's like,
01:15:02hey Jupiter, I really need another master, please.
01:15:06Jupiter's like, whoa, slow your roll, man.
01:15:09I'm only gonna do this one more time, are you sure?
01:15:12And donkey's like, I got this pain in my back
01:15:14and it won't go away.
01:15:16There's no such thing as Advil,
01:15:17yet will you please just do me this favor?
01:15:19So the next day, the donkey is sold again
01:15:23to a leather tanner who hangs donkey,
01:15:27bleeds him out, skins him,
01:15:29and turns him into a pair of sandals.
01:15:33Moral of the story, he who finds discontentment
01:15:36in one place is unlikely to find happiness in another.
01:15:40You know why he's uprooted that football?
01:15:44I just said to show that the grass isn't greener.
01:15:50No.
01:15:53He wrote it for his slaves.
01:15:55So when they're feeling down,
01:15:56they can tell each other that story
01:15:58and make themselves feel better.
01:16:02When in reality, they were just deeply, deeply repressed.
01:16:06Would it be strange if I asked to take your picture?
01:16:09Or even?
01:16:10No.
01:16:10No.
01:16:11No.
01:16:12No.
01:16:13No.
01:16:14No.
01:16:15No.
01:16:15No.
01:16:17No.
01:16:18No.
01:16:18No.
01:16:19No.
01:16:20No.
01:16:21No.
01:16:22No.
01:16:23No.
01:16:24No.
01:16:24No.
01:16:25No.
01:16:26No.
01:16:27No.
01:16:28No.
01:16:29No.
01:16:29No.
01:16:30No.
01:16:31No.
01:16:32No.
01:16:33No.
01:16:34Watch out for broken gloves. I had a little accident.
01:16:46It's a nice place. Let's break out the good stuff, shall we?
01:16:55It's cassare. The grapes are grown under the shadow of a volcano in Italy.
01:17:02So you're a professional? Sure.
01:17:10You know, my latest exhibition opens in a few weeks. You should come.
01:17:26I'll think about it. Will you stand there for me?
01:17:38Turn to me. Those eyes.
01:17:51You sure we've never met before? Um, my hair's not really...
01:18:07No, it's good. Um, I don't know what I'm doing.
01:18:13Just do whatever I tell you to do and it'll be perfect.
01:18:18Put your left hand on your shoulder. Head down.
01:18:27You look so kind. Eyes to me.
01:18:38Is it okay? It's just this jumper.
01:18:44What's your bra look like? Subtle.
01:18:48Look, I work with naked models pretty much every day, so I forget it's out of the ordinary.
01:18:54But if you're not comfortable, it's cool. Um, no, it's... it's fine.
01:19:04Um, just, like... Cute. Mind if I snap a few?
01:19:25Let me. I wasn't ready.
01:19:37I tend to take my best pictures when you least expect it.
01:19:46Now what? What about your underwear?
01:19:55Turn away from me. Okay.
01:20:16You're a magnificent body. Thank you.
01:20:22Eyes to me. Turn up slightly.
01:20:25That's it. Now take off your bra. I'll have a bit.
01:20:30Okay. I'll make it less awkward.
01:20:33What are you doing? What does it look like?
01:20:51Nice socks. Thanks.
01:21:06Your turn.
01:21:51What the fuck am I doing?
01:22:03What's wrong?
01:22:06You just, you know, you just... you just remind me of someone, that's all.
01:22:12So sorry. No, it's not your fault.
01:23:22Oh, so stop, stop, stop, stop.
01:23:39Go get a cotton.
01:23:51So
01:24:21so
01:24:33so
01:24:52so
01:25:01so
01:25:22so
01:25:30so
01:25:38so
01:26:02oh it's fucking disgusting
01:26:08so here we go guys it's good for you
01:26:38so
01:27:09so
01:27:18so
01:27:34um
01:27:48so
01:28:00um
01:28:19um
01:28:33uh
01:28:48uh
01:29:06uh
01:29:18so
01:29:38um the next morning that's that's when I found him I had to tell you
01:29:49I had to tell someone
01:29:53I understand if you never want to talk to me again
01:29:59wait peppa you think this is your fault I'm the reason it all happened you cannot
01:30:08blame yourself for this I caused the whole thing no no no yes it is tragic it's more than tragic
01:30:14it is fucking insane but you had no idea that this would happen I mean you were just dumped and
01:30:21yeah maybe you deserved it that part doesn't matter you are a single woman and it is common
01:30:26knowledge that the fastest way to mend a broken heart is to do the most unhealthy fucked up shit
01:30:31you can possibly think of yeah okay maybe doing it with a depressed widower that you're stalking
01:30:36is a bit like at the extreme end of that but it is part of the deal it just it doesn't feel real
01:30:45hey you are so super fucked up right now and you better seek therapy like tomorrow
01:30:53you're a good person peppa even if it doesn't feel like that right now
01:31:02I found such a good person why do I want to see him again
01:31:06he's like disappeared I know it sounds irrational but if I could just see him
01:31:11maybe I could move on
01:31:19it's stupid I know
01:31:22okay well if he's not at home where do you think he is
01:31:29peppa it's opening night
01:31:40so
01:31:57drink sure
01:32:00so
01:32:05I didn't think you'd come I came this is really cool can't wait to see the photos
01:32:15cool yeah it's really fucking cool
01:32:20are you okay
01:32:25that's my cue thanks for coming
01:32:31a thanks for introducing me and b like not what I pictured
01:32:50now before we begin I should say that this particular project was a collaboration
01:33:02my partner in crime on this the love of my life julia nobutori
01:33:10so they want to go home it seems only right that she should be up here with me everyone julia
01:33:20come on
01:33:37hi this new exhibition tells a modern fable it's a tragic tale of a sweet young woman named peppa
01:33:49oh my god
01:34:05pippa lives in the apartment we own across the way from our studio
01:34:12when she and her boyfriend thomas first moved in together the future was bright
01:34:17things were things were downright peachy then they got a little distracted by the strangers
01:34:24across the way us they cared more about what was going on in other people's lives than they did
01:34:31their own and what started out as a fun little hobby turned into a bit of an obsession they
01:34:39gate crashed our halloween party and planted a microphone so they could secretly listen in on
01:34:44conversations uh totally illegal by the way and yet somehow pippa decided that she was
01:34:53she was doing the right thing first this tore them apart emotionally and then it tore them apart
01:35:00forever
01:35:11little did she realize the whole time that they were watching us while we were watching them
01:35:30hey
01:35:46uh
01:36:01uh
01:36:03uh
01:36:29okay
01:36:34so
01:36:48uh
01:37:04ah
01:37:14ah
01:37:34oh
01:37:54yep those are my boobs this is the place
01:38:03so
01:38:34so
01:38:55this is the image release form they signed it's the last page of their lease
01:39:00plain and simple now do i know if they actually read it no but that's not my responsibility
01:39:10let me ask you this how many times this week has something popped up on your computer screen
01:39:15saying please agree to the terms and conditions and you've just clicked yes and not even thought
01:39:20twice about it i mean it's something we've grown accustomed to no
01:39:29but does that give you the right to uh it's tragic and we both feel so horrible about it
01:39:35don't we sir of course but if anything it's a warning because it's unprecedented really the
01:39:41access we give people into our lives today it is entirely socially acceptable no socially expected
01:39:49for us to be able to stalk people we may or may not know in order to get a glimpse into that
01:39:53partially true version of their lives seven i lived a version of our life for pippa and thomas
01:39:59to see yes we created our own narrative and made it available for them to watch
01:40:05we gave them front row seats
01:40:08and they did they tuned right in all we had to do was watch back
01:40:23so uh in addition to premiering internationally in tokyo everywhere we've sold it everywhere
01:40:29it's a rousing success we're now the toast of the art community and guess what we've made
01:40:34a disgusting amount of money in the process now do you have anything actually interesting to ask us
01:40:53how many times can someone be congratulated your favorite
01:41:00scassory sorry you sent it
01:41:09so thrilled to be featuring the voyeurs in our upcoming season the tate
01:41:17oh that's great
01:41:24baby you have to get over this
01:41:41don't you ever feel guilty
01:41:48no
01:41:53so
01:42:23so
01:42:45what the
01:42:46what is she doing she's fucking lost it what do you think you know
01:42:53peppa
01:43:03peppa
01:43:16so
01:43:23we just want to talk to you
01:43:45so
01:44:01please is all this really necessary peppa just just leave me alone what is it that you think
01:44:07you know i i don't i don't know i don't know these are some pretty serious accusations they
01:44:12must have come from somewhere stop fucking us around
01:44:26when i when i watched you i believed every moment
01:44:33even though none of it was real
01:44:35but when thomas died it didn't feel true but he's still gone
01:44:47he would have never done that and i don't know for sure but i think you drugged him
01:44:56and then you made it look like he did it himself
01:44:58that is a hell of a theory peppa do you have any proof
01:45:06no then what were you doing here
01:45:10you manipulated me you seduced me
01:45:16you exposed me and you think you could hurt me again but you can't because i have nothing left
01:45:24nothing left so i just need to know this one last thing and then you'll never see me again
01:45:33how could you do this
01:45:37we didn't it was you who told me it's like when you're so obsessed with something that
01:45:46you forget to pick your head up look around and go oh wait what am i even doing
01:45:52but you're too far down the road
01:46:02you too
01:46:12julia hey hey talk to me what's wrong what's wrong baby come on come on baby
01:46:22what did you do you weigh a little bit more so it might take a minute to kick in
01:46:31what the fuck did you do
01:46:36that wine was a little gift from me
01:46:39no
01:46:44look at me look at me take one final look because it's the last thing you're ever gonna see
01:47:08so
01:47:38foreign
01:47:51right
01:48:09but just
01:48:15me
01:48:23so
01:48:45when i'm far from home don't call me on the phone
01:48:53um
01:49:16your eyes
01:49:23so
01:49:45it makes me
01:49:53so
01:50:13your eyes
01:50:23so
01:50:42don't call
01:50:54tell me
01:51:04don't tell me
01:51:23so
01:51:35i don't despise
01:51:44So alive and new
01:51:48But it's gone when you rise
01:51:51I never realized
01:51:55Yeah, this is so bizarre
01:51:59Eyes without a face
01:52:01This is so bizarre
01:52:05Eyes without a face
01:52:07This is so bizarre
01:52:10Eyes without a face
01:52:13Got no human grace
01:52:16Your eyes without a face
01:52:19Such a huge waste
01:52:21Your eyes without a face
01:52:43Your eyes without a face
01:53:13Ah
01:53:17Ah
01:53:21Ah
01:53:25Ah
01:53:29Ah
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