1963 Promises! Promises! Full SO HOT MOVIE
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Short filmTranscript
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00:05:10Here I am, honey.
00:05:12Hi, sweetheart. I was just having a drink. Join me?
00:05:15Oh, no thanks. It's not fog yet.
00:05:17♪
00:05:22Hmm.
00:05:23♪
00:05:28What are you doing, honey?
00:05:29I, uh, just thought it might be a little cozier like this.
00:05:32♪
00:05:39You know, Jeff, you look sort of strange.
00:05:42I do?
00:05:44I don't feel strange.
00:05:46♪
00:05:50I don't feel anything.
00:05:52♪
00:06:16Sandy, you look gorgeous.
00:06:19Oh, honey. Thank you.
00:06:22What are you doing?
00:06:24♪
00:06:28Jeff.
00:06:29You've been trying too hard, darling. It's unnecessary.
00:06:33Honey.
00:06:34Honey.
00:06:35♪
00:07:00Am I going to die?
00:07:01Not just yet.
00:07:04It's only a hangover.
00:07:06Oh, Doc, if I could only unscrew this head for a few minutes.
00:07:09You know, sick as I am, I'm starving.
00:07:11Ah, that's all part of it. Here, drink this.
00:07:13What's in it?
00:07:1486-proof tracheal scotch, more commonly called hair of the dog.
00:07:18Want a match?
00:07:21Oh, Doc, I feel awful.
00:07:23You'll feel better in a minute.
00:07:25Oh, what was in that pill?
00:07:27A few drinks and bam, it's the next day.
00:07:29Ah, I mentioned amnesia as one of the side effects.
00:07:32You mean I'll never remember what happened?
00:07:34The amnesia is permanent unless an alcoholic drink is taken with him 24 hours.
00:07:38But I just had a drink and I still don't remember it.
00:07:42Wow.
00:07:43Ah, it's beginning to come back, I see.
00:07:46Doctor, do you know what I did after I took that pill?
00:07:49I could make a few shrewd guesses.
00:07:51I was standing right in the middle of the room, right about there, and I turned.
00:07:55Right about there, and I turned.
00:08:55Good morning, Mrs. Brooks. Would you care for some hot broth?
00:08:58Oh, no, no, thank you.
00:09:01My husband's in there right now.
00:09:03He might be going to have a baby.
00:09:08We're not?
00:09:09First, apparently a touch of seasickness.
00:09:12Of course, it might be too early to tell.
00:09:14I'll make another test next week.
00:09:16Oh, I know, it's a shame. What a big disappointment.
00:09:19Oh, it's not me I'm concerned about, it's Sandy. It's an obsession with her.
00:09:22She keeps knitting baby clothes, telling everybody she meets she's going to have a baby.
00:09:25This is going to be a big blow to the whole ship.
00:09:27Oh, I know, I know.
00:09:29Never seen a woman so determined to have a baby.
00:09:31I was counting on that pill you gave me. You said it was going to work.
00:09:34That's most discouraging, I know, I know.
00:09:39Too bad we've got to tell her the truth.
00:09:41What do you mean, too bad? She's got to know the truth.
00:09:43You think I'd lie to my wife about something as important as this?
00:09:46No, no, she's got to know the truth.
00:09:48Oh, Jeff, I'm so sorry.
00:09:50I couldn't stand it, I just couldn't wait another moment.
00:09:52I am, I know I am, say I am.
00:09:54You am, are.
00:09:55Oh, I knew it, oh darling, I knew it.
00:09:59I'm so happy, I knew it, I knew that this time it just had to be, it had to be true.
00:10:03Oh, Jeff, I'm so happy for him, darling.
00:10:06Oh, my goodness, this dress, I've got to get out of it right away, it's much too tight.
00:10:10I brought some maternity clothes with me, so I'll go to my cabin.
00:10:13Maternity clothes?
00:10:14I've got so many things to do, I don't know where to begin.
00:10:17I haven't even told Claire yet.
00:10:19My hair, my, what am I going to do about my hair?
00:10:22I know, I know, I'm going to let it come in natural, it's much more motherly that way.
00:10:26Oh, darling, oh.
00:10:30Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:10:33Bye, darling.
00:10:36Ooh.
00:10:39Well, thanks a lot, Doc, thanks a lot.
00:10:41What did I do?
00:10:42What did you do? You put the whole idea in my head.
00:10:45I didn't do anything.
00:10:46You said I am, you are.
00:10:49When Sandy finds out the truth, we're finished, finished.
00:10:52Don't be ridiculous.
00:10:54It might not be possible for her to have a baby.
00:10:56Are you kidding? Sandy's been checked and double-checked.
00:10:58She can have a hundred kids, two at a time, one doctor said.
00:11:01Aha.
00:11:03What do you mean, aha?
00:11:05Well, let me do a little check and double-checking on you.
00:11:08Oh, well, that won't be necessary, Doctor.
00:11:11Really?
00:11:13See, Doctors, well, there's something about me you ought to know.
00:11:17Yes?
00:11:19I, uh...
00:11:20Yes?
00:11:22Well, uh...
00:11:23Yes?
00:11:25Back when I was in military school...
00:11:26Yes?
00:11:28I, uh...
00:11:29Yes?
00:11:30Had the mumps.
00:11:31Yes?
00:11:32No.
00:11:35How now, brown cow.
00:11:39How now, brown cow.
00:11:42Grazing in the tall, thick thistle.
00:11:45Grazing in the tall, thick thistle.
00:11:48I got it. I got it.
00:11:51Well, good. Remember it.
00:11:53You never can tell when that's going to pop up in a conversation.
00:11:56An actor has got to keep in shape.
00:11:58That's how it makes me feel well.
00:12:00You think I want to be the only one on this entire ship to be seasick?
00:12:04Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
00:12:06My little friend next door does pretty well with that reel.
00:12:08She ought to hate to be a fish in this ocean.
00:12:11Sandy is different. She's expecting.
00:12:13She's not expecting. She's convinced.
00:12:16What's wrong with that?
00:12:18Now, look, don't you go getting caught up in that old mother act of hers.
00:12:22She's no more with child, as she so delicately puts it, than you are.
00:12:27You're kidding.
00:12:28Oh, here's an ad on our cruise.
00:12:30Picture yourself on a world cruise aboard a graceful ocean liner.
00:12:35You're cruising along at 25 knots over a gently rolling sea.
00:12:41Yep, it's rolling.
00:12:43Dining in Japan on succulent octopus.
00:12:47In Peru, enjoying delicious stuffed oysters.
00:12:51How do you stuff an oyster?
00:12:53Then on to glamorous science, savoring the exotic iguana.
00:13:00That's a lizard, isn't it?
00:13:02I think I need to slide down.
00:13:04Oh, King, you're not going to go through that whole bit again, are you?
00:13:09I might.
00:13:10Oh, your son should see you now.
00:13:13Go get them and let them look.
00:13:34I can see it all now.
00:13:36Sandy will find out I lied to her.
00:13:38She'll realize we can never have a baby.
00:13:40She'll leave the ship at the next port.
00:13:41We'll get a divorce.
00:13:42We're finished.
00:13:43I don't think it's as bad as all that.
00:13:45Give yourself a chance.
00:13:47Claire, King.
00:13:49You'll never guess what.
00:13:51What?
00:13:52I am.
00:13:53Are you sure?
00:13:54Positive.
00:13:55I just got back from the doctor.
00:13:56Oh, I'm thrilled.
00:13:57Is the doctor still there?
00:13:59Oh, poor King.
00:14:00Who else did you tell?
00:14:01Well, you know, I came from the radio shack where I send cables to everybody.
00:14:05And you and the radio operator are the first to know.
00:14:07Well, we're platters.
00:14:09Oh, now where are you off to?
00:14:11I'm going to the beauty parlor.
00:14:12Want to come along?
00:14:13All right.
00:14:14You know what I feel like?
00:14:15A double dip hot fudge marshmallow sundae.
00:14:20A double dip?
00:14:22It's no good.
00:14:23I can face up to facts.
00:14:24I'm no good to anybody.
00:14:26I can never be a father.
00:14:27I'm no good to my wife.
00:14:28I might as well be dead.
00:14:29Nonsense.
00:14:30Pure nonsense.
00:14:31Mr. Brooks, you're a young man.
00:14:32You have a whole lifetime ahead of you.
00:14:34I am told you're a very fine writer.
00:14:36I was, but I'll never write another line as long as I live.
00:14:39You want to laugh?
00:14:40What?
00:14:41You know what they called me?
00:14:42What?
00:14:43Hollywood's most prolific writer.
00:14:44Huh!
00:14:45I beg your pardon.
00:14:51Bavette, dear, I'm going to be conservative.
00:14:54You're a genius.
00:14:56Oh, thank you so much, my dear.
00:14:58I mean it.
00:15:00The soft undulating wave, the contour caressing the skull.
00:15:05Oh, it's fabulously perfect.
00:15:07That's all.
00:15:08I'm so glad you like it.
00:15:09I like it.
00:15:10I adore it.
00:15:11Oh.
00:15:12Oh, Sherry, please.
00:15:13Don't touch.
00:15:14It's still wet.
00:15:15Sorry, love.
00:15:16You're a genius.
00:15:18Come on, Tulio, dear.
00:15:19We mustn't be late for lunch.
00:15:20Come here.
00:15:23Oh, Claire, Sandy.
00:15:25You're just in time.
00:15:27You both are missed.
00:15:29I'm celebrating.
00:15:30Oh, really?
00:15:31She's going to have a baby.
00:15:32Oh, marvelous.
00:15:33With the girl, the first permanent is on the house.
00:15:35Good dog.
00:15:37Say something, Bernie.
00:15:41Hold the phone, girl.
00:15:55There you are, my dear.
00:15:57My latest creation.
00:15:59Burnt almond.
00:16:01Oh, are you?
00:16:02Oh, I love it.
00:16:09He is heavenly.
00:16:18Look at it this way, Mr. Brooks.
00:16:20Sterility is a complex problem.
00:16:22We don't know a great deal about it,
00:16:23but we do know that tension can be a contributing factor.
00:16:26But you already gave me a pill for that.
00:16:28It was all right as far as it went.
00:16:29It just didn't go far enough.
00:16:31Relax.
00:16:32Relax.
00:16:33Sure, relax.
00:16:34That's easy for you to say.
00:16:35I'm thinking about your wife.
00:16:38You mean give my wife a pill?
00:16:40Of course.
00:16:46Only this time I'm going to give her something
00:16:49a little bit more potent.
00:16:52More potent?
00:16:54The reaction will be more pronounced than before,
00:16:57particularly with both of you taking a pill.
00:16:59I assume, of course, you're willing to try it.
00:17:02Oh, of course, I'm willing to try it.
00:17:04I mean, more potent, huh?
00:17:08More...
00:17:11Shall we cut and bleach it?
00:17:13No, no, just a wash and set.
00:17:16I'm going to let it come in natural.
00:17:17We'll put on ten years.
00:17:19Well, it'll go with the extra 20 pounds I'm going to put on.
00:17:22Now that she's going to become a mother,
00:17:24she wants to look the part.
00:17:26You mean it's really true this time?
00:17:28I just came from the doctor.
00:17:30Well, isn't that a kick in the head?
00:17:32Oh, no, it's no good, Doc.
00:17:34It won't work.
00:17:35Why not?
00:17:36She's not going to take a pill from me for that.
00:17:38Use your head, Doc.
00:17:39She thinks the job's done.
00:17:40Why would she take a pill from me?
00:17:42For a writer, you use very little imagination.
00:17:45You don't tell her about the pill.
00:17:47Don't tell her about the pill?
00:17:49Of course not.
00:17:50Arrange for a private dinner party just the two of you.
00:17:53Be romantic.
00:17:55No candle lights, flour on the table,
00:17:58wine for a toast.
00:18:00She can't object to a little wine.
00:18:02You mean put the pills in wine?
00:18:04Bing, bing.
00:18:05One pill in each glass.
00:18:06A sentimental toast and...
00:18:13Imagine that, a baby after all this time.
00:18:16The nature full of screams.
00:18:18Well, if at first you don't succeed...
00:18:20Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing.
00:18:22I'm not going to have any children.
00:18:24I should hope not.
00:18:26You're not even married.
00:18:31Doctor, if these pills work, my hat's off to medical science.
00:18:34They will work, I'm sure of it.
00:18:36Just follow my directions.
00:18:37I will.
00:18:38Oh, Doctor, they won't hurt her, will they?
00:18:39On the contrary.
00:18:41Don't you worry about a thing.
00:18:42I won't, I won't.
00:18:47Patients are unusually open to suggestions.
00:18:50Prescribe two aspirin tablets,
00:18:52then they're even more potent than the first.
00:19:01I get such a charge out of her.
00:19:03She's so excited about the baby.
00:19:05Isn't she, love?
00:19:08Listen, would you like to go in with me
00:19:10and we'll give her a shower?
00:19:12I'll wash her hair, Claire,
00:19:14and that's as far as I go.
00:19:16Perhaps the reaction will be more pronounced than before,
00:19:19particularly with both of you taking a pill.
00:19:21Oh, Doctor, they won't hurt her, will they?
00:19:23On the contrary.
00:19:24It's almost time for dinner, honey.
00:19:26You ready?
00:19:27Sweetheart, I have a wonderful idea.
00:19:30Why don't we not have dinner tonight, hmm?
00:19:33What's so wonderful about that?
00:19:35Well, I mean not go out for dinner.
00:19:36I was thinking, why don't we have dinner here alone in the cabin,
00:19:39just the two of us, hmm?
00:19:41Oh, you mean because of the baby.
00:19:44Yeah.
00:19:45Oh.
00:19:46Because of the baby.
00:19:47I figured we'd have a little candlelight, a little wine, and us.
00:19:51Hmm.
00:19:52That's marvelous.
00:19:53Oh, that'd be good.
00:19:55I'd love to do it.
00:19:56Let me see.
00:19:57We can't.
00:19:58We promised King and Claire that we'd have dinner with them.
00:20:01Again?
00:20:02Again?
00:20:04Honey, you know they expect to have dinner with us every night.
00:20:08I'm getting pretty sick of what they expect,
00:20:11up to and including their little stranger.
00:20:15I'm getting sick and tired of sitting opposite that stupid actor every night
00:20:19and watching him sprinkle wheat germ on everything.
00:20:21Where's my wheat germ?
00:20:23No, you probably used it all up.
00:20:25After all, you only brought 15 quarts.
00:20:27A guy can get pretty, uh, watching, uh, sprinkle wheat germ on his raw meat.
00:20:32I know, honey, but he means well.
00:20:35I found it.
00:20:36Oh, goody.
00:20:38Here, I'll put me.
00:20:40I've got it.
00:20:41I'll tell him you're sick.
00:20:42That way we can have dinner here alone.
00:20:44Why don't I tell him that you're sick again?
00:20:46That way we can have dinner alone.
00:20:48Well, if you think they'd believe it.
00:20:50They never believe it.
00:20:51It's happened before.
00:20:52Well, it's happened before.
00:20:54Nonsense.
00:20:55I am as healthy as an ox.
00:20:58Well, I...
00:20:59Good, sweetheart.
00:21:00It's settled.
00:21:01I'll order some wine right now.
00:21:02Just for us, the two of us down here alone.
00:21:05Jeff, I don't know.
00:21:06You don't know?
00:21:07What do you mean you don't know?
00:21:08What's the matter with you?
00:21:09I think I've got a touch of morning sickness.
00:21:14Morning sickness?
00:21:15At 8 o'clock at night?
00:21:16Aren't you running a little fast?
00:21:18Oh, here's your yogurt.
00:21:20Strawberry.
00:21:21Shall we take it along?
00:21:22Claire, please don't.
00:21:24When you're expecting,
00:21:25there are just certain things that you have to expect.
00:21:28But you always have yogurt whenever there's pig knuckles.
00:21:31And so I'll crowd on the menu.
00:21:32Oh, sweetheart, I hate to see you suffer like this.
00:21:35No, I don't mind at all.
00:21:36I really love every moment of it.
00:21:38Oh, really?
00:21:39What about our private dinner?
00:21:41Oh, I better not.
00:21:42I better take a rain check.
00:21:44You don't mind, do you, Jeff?
00:21:46I don't mind, baby.
00:21:47I'm just thinking about us.
00:21:49Want me to stay in with you?
00:21:51Oh, no, no.
00:21:52I'd really rather be alone.
00:21:53But you go out and eat, honey.
00:21:55Baby, I couldn't eat without you.
00:21:57I mean, it just wouldn't be right for me to walk.
00:21:59Of course, they do have pig's knuckles and sauerkraut.
00:22:03I could have that with a little beer.
00:22:06Oh, what's the matter with me?
00:22:08I'm sorry, sweetheart.
00:22:12A little beer, a little pig's knuckles.
00:22:17Hi.
00:22:18Hi.
00:22:19I was just going for a bite.
00:22:20So was I.
00:22:22Beer's down again?
00:22:23And out.
00:22:25Mine, too.
00:22:29Well, you know, we've had so many meals together,
00:22:31the whole ship's beginning to talk about it.
00:22:34Yeah.
00:22:37You're taking this news pretty bad, aren't you?
00:22:40What news?
00:22:41About the baby, I mean.
00:22:42Oh.
00:22:43You still seem to be in a state of shock.
00:22:46You just don't recognize happiness when you see it.
00:22:50I just don't understand.
00:22:52I don't understand this wild urge to leave your blood
00:22:55in the veins of some poor, unsuspecting offspring.
00:22:59What is it that you want?
00:23:01Unsuspecting offspring.
00:23:03What is the population of the world anyway?
00:23:05Three billion?
00:23:06Give or take a couple.
00:23:08I know we were told to be fruitful and multiply,
00:23:10but how fruity can you get?
00:23:16You don't understand.
00:23:17You just hate kids.
00:23:18I do not.
00:23:20If King and I ever get to the point where we feel
00:23:22we're not enough for one another,
00:23:24well, I'll talk to Norton.
00:23:26That way we'll be making the world a little better place
00:23:28for some kid that's already stuck with it.
00:23:31Are you overlooking a little basic biological urge?
00:23:34Oh, now you're going to get the one
00:23:36about the natural urge for reproduction.
00:23:38Believe me, there is such a thing.
00:23:42The dear days before I was married and in show business,
00:23:45I remember all the guys were just floated
00:23:47with that biological urge.
00:23:50I can remember the sales pitches now, like,
00:23:53look, baby, I've spent a lot of money on you tonight.
00:23:57All right.
00:24:01Don't say no.
00:24:02You're the first girl I've ever asked.
00:24:08But you can't send me home like this.
00:24:16And I'll respect you.
00:24:18That'll be our bond.
00:24:19Don't fight it.
00:24:20This thing is bigger than both of us.
00:24:22Two martinis.
00:24:24Two martinis.
00:24:25That would never work for me.
00:24:26You know, not once did I ever hear a guy say to me,
00:24:29please, I want to be a daddy.
00:24:34Urge for reproduction, my eye.
00:24:37There's a lot more urge around than there is reproduction.
00:24:40Yeah.
00:24:41Yeah.
00:24:42You know, with the fatherhood potential I have,
00:24:44I should have married you.
00:24:46What's wrong with your fatherhood potential?
00:24:48You just made it.
00:24:49Well, yeah, but what a struggle.
00:24:51Two years ago, I told Sandy I thought we should adopt a kid.
00:24:54And she wouldn't do it?
00:24:56No, every time I discussed it,
00:24:58she'd tell me about the postman's sister-in-law's daughter.
00:25:02What about the postman's sister-in-law's daughter?
00:25:05Well, the doctor told her she had a tumor
00:25:07and could never have children.
00:25:08The tumor turned out to be a bouncing baby boy.
00:25:12You know, they thought I was the tumor,
00:25:14but I fooled them, didn't I?
00:25:15Didn't I?
00:25:17If you think so, let's go.
00:25:20Let's go.
00:25:22Let's go.
00:25:23Let's go.
00:25:45Look at that moon.
00:25:46They've got to be kidding.
00:25:48Yeah.
00:25:49I wonder if they've got one like that for tourist class.
00:25:52Just a half moon.
00:25:53Oh, look at them.
00:25:56Aren't they cute?
00:26:02Do you feel that way about me, dear?
00:26:06Sure.
00:26:07Would I be here otherwise?
00:26:09Oh, dear, Tulio.
00:26:19Oh, excuse me.
00:26:27Up!
00:26:31Oh.
00:26:48Oh.
00:26:53You know, I surely hope that the king and Claire won't be hurt about this.
00:26:57Oh, sweetheart, let them be hurt.
00:26:59This is our night.
00:27:00You know, you're really very thoughtful.
00:27:02I'm just thinking about us.
00:27:05That's cute, too.
00:27:08You did?
00:27:09Mm-hmm.
00:27:16Well, voila.
00:27:19Oh, uh, captain, I've ordered a table for two for tonight, I trust.
00:27:22I'm not too early.
00:27:23It would never be too early for madame.
00:27:27Merci bien.
00:27:28Hey, you are welcome, I am sure.
00:27:32A toast to the most ravishing creature in this cabin.
00:27:36You are ravishing, aren't you?
00:27:38Half ravishing, half Lithuanian.
00:27:41Thank you for remembering the old jokes, madame.
00:27:44To my wife.
00:27:45Oh, a toast to that.
00:27:47I'll drink to that.
00:27:48Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:27:49What's this?
00:27:50What's the matter?
00:27:51You know the way King and Claire always barge in here?
00:27:53Oh, by this time, they've gone up to dinner.
00:27:55Why, be half safe.
00:27:57Is this a private brawl, or can anybody come?
00:28:00We're celebrating.
00:28:01King hasn't been sick for 12 whole hours.
00:28:04Neither have I.
00:28:05Let's have a drink to that, huh?
00:28:07Sure, why not?
00:28:09Ah!
00:28:10Oh, is there any more glasses in here?
00:28:12That was my drink.
00:28:13And let me tell you, it was delicious.
00:28:15You had no right to drink my drink.
00:28:16Come up to the floor.
00:28:17I'll buy you a whole bottle.
00:28:18Come on, Sandy.
00:28:19We all go up to the floor.
00:28:20I don't want you to take your hands off my wife.
00:28:22Let's go.
00:28:23Let's go.
00:28:24I saw it happen.
00:28:25He's not bleeding, is he?
00:28:26No, but he's sure knocked out.
00:28:28Well, that's good.
00:28:29I can't stand the sight of blood.
00:28:30Come on, Claire.
00:28:31Let's get him to sick bay.
00:28:32Come on, Sandy.
00:28:33Oh!
00:28:34Please don't do it.
00:28:35Oh!
00:28:36Oh!
00:28:37Oh!
00:28:38Oh!
00:28:39Oh!
00:28:40Oh!
00:28:41Oh!
00:28:42Oh!
00:28:43Oh!
00:28:44Oh!
00:28:45Oh!
00:28:46Oh!
00:28:47Oh!
00:28:48Oh!
00:28:49Oh!
00:28:50Oh!
00:28:51Oh!
00:28:52Oh!
00:28:54Well, I wonder what happened to Jeff and Claire.
00:28:58Probably dancing.
00:29:00Have a drink.
00:29:01Oh, we'd better wait for them.
00:29:03Listen to the way my addiction has improved.
00:29:06How now, brown cow, grazing in a thick thistle.
00:29:12It's cute.
00:29:14Very cute.
00:29:16It took me a long time to get it just right.
00:29:20Well, you artists are never satisfied.
00:29:24Did you know they thought I was a tumor?
00:29:29Second thought, I think I'll have that drink.
00:29:32Two scotch.
00:29:33Make it double.
00:29:50Oh!
00:29:51Oh!
00:29:52Oh!
00:29:53Oh!
00:29:54Oh!
00:29:55Oh!
00:29:56Oh!
00:29:57Oh!
00:29:58Let's have a drink.
00:30:00Oh, I don't care.
00:30:03It's for you and one for me.
00:30:07Oh!
00:30:08Oh!
00:30:09Oh!
00:30:10Oh!
00:30:11Oh!
00:30:12Oh!
00:30:13Oh!
00:30:14Oh!
00:30:15Oh!
00:30:16Oh!
00:30:17Oh!
00:30:19Oh!
00:30:21Oh!
00:30:36Oh, no.
00:30:37I'm blind.
00:30:40Oh, morning.
00:30:42Oh, no.
00:30:43Morning. Oh, no.
00:30:49Claire.
00:30:54Claire.
00:30:56Good morning, sweetheart.
00:30:58What are you doing here?
00:31:02What am I doing here?
00:31:03Oh, it's you.
00:31:06We're in sickbay. How'd we get here?
00:31:08Don't you remember?
00:31:10I don't remember a thing.
00:31:13Well, frankly, I was feeling a little high myself last night, but I'll do my best to fill you in.
00:31:20I remember you had a pretty nasty fall.
00:31:24I was worried about a concussion. That's why I brought you up here.
00:31:27You mean... You mean we spent the night here together?
00:31:31Apparently.
00:31:32You were babbling something. I couldn't quite make it out.
00:31:36Something about pills or...
00:31:40You know, that's what scared me.
00:31:42That's why I went over there and looked in that medicine cabinet and I found something that looked like aspirin.
00:31:47I gave you one and I took one too.
00:31:52You gave me one of these pills and took one yourself?
00:31:57Yes, and boy, I must have been loaded last night because I don't remember a thing after that.
00:32:03Until I woke up a few minutes ago.
00:32:05Oh, thank goodness.
00:32:07Claire, now you've got to promise me you mustn't take a drink for 24 hours.
00:32:11Exactly what I was just telling myself.
00:32:14Remember now, no drink for 24 hours.
00:32:18What are you doing?
00:32:19To see my wife.
00:32:21What about the doctor?
00:32:22He's done enough already.
00:32:26Oh, good morning, Mr. Brooks.
00:32:28Oh, excuse me, good morning. Did you by any chance see my wife this morning?
00:32:31Yes, sir. She's in your cabin having breakfast with Mr. Banner.
00:32:34I'm glad she's got her sea legs again. She ordered coffee royale.
00:32:38Oh, coffee roy...
00:32:40That's brandy!
00:32:44Excuse me.
00:32:46I'm sorry. Excuse me.
00:32:49I've never slept so well in my life. I didn't even hear Claire get up.
00:32:54Jeff didn't wake me up this morning either.
00:32:56I think he's getting more considerate now that he's going to become a daddy.
00:33:00Sadie!
00:33:02Are you insane? It's boiling hot!
00:33:05I am insane. You know I'm insane about coffee and brandy.
00:33:08Then you're scalding yourself for nothing. That's just plain black coffee. Here's the brandy.
00:33:12Oh, thank you. Thank you, sweetheart. I love brandy in my coffee.
00:33:15Oh, what happened to your poor head?
00:33:18I fell out of a plane.
00:33:20Well, your mom will fix it for you.
00:33:23Have some coffee with us, old boy.
00:33:25No, thanks. I just had some.
00:33:27What are you eating?
00:33:28The finest tonic in the whole world.
00:33:30Oatmeal, black starch molasses, wheat germ...
00:33:33I'm sorry I asked.
00:33:35But you were hungry, huh?
00:33:37Famished.
00:33:38Me too. I've never been so hungry in all my life.
00:33:41Yeah, that's all part of it.
00:33:44Well...
00:33:46Well, I got dressed for a tournament.
00:33:48Me too. I'll be ready.
00:33:52Poor baby. How did you hurt your little head?
00:33:55I had a trip chasing you and King last night.
00:33:58Funny, I don't remember when it happened.
00:34:00Do you remember anything about last night? Anything at all?
00:34:03Nothing, really, after I left the cabin, except...
00:34:06Except, you know, that awful seasickness feeling came around again.
00:34:11My goodness, it must have hit me pretty hard. I don't even remember how I got to bed.
00:34:15You don't, huh?
00:34:17But I had a marvelous sleep. Thank you for not awakening me this morning.
00:34:22Oh, it's all right.
00:34:24You know, when I woke up, I felt like I owned the whole world.
00:34:29I never remember feeling so good before.
00:34:32Never?
00:34:33Never.
00:34:34Say, how about a game of deck tennis?
00:34:37Deck tennis?
00:34:38Yes. King entered us in a tournament.
00:34:42Wish he'd stop being our social director.
00:34:45What are you smiling at?
00:34:47Oh, nothing, darling. I'm just so very happy.
00:34:51At last we've got what we always wanted, what our marriage always needed.
00:34:56Yeah.
00:34:57You know, I think it's going to make a world of difference in our lives.
00:35:01It could. I suppose King got seasick too, huh?
00:35:05Yeah, so he said. Isn't that funny?
00:35:10Yeah. It's a riot.
00:35:13You know, we finally figured it out. It was all that wine we drank. We drank it so fast.
00:35:17Yeah, no doubt about it. It was the wine.
00:35:19Well, it's all over now, thank goodness.
00:35:21Thank goodness, yeah.
00:35:22It's amazing how it changes you, though.
00:35:25I can promise you I put on a whole inch around the top.
00:35:28That's impossible.
00:35:31You like my new scent?
00:35:33Yeah, what is it?
00:35:35My sin?
00:35:41Figures.
00:35:46You know what today is, honey?
00:35:48You know what day this is?
00:35:50Thursday?
00:35:52No, it's King's birthday. The captain's giving him a party.
00:35:56That's nice.
00:35:57I just thought of a wonderful present to give him.
00:36:00It's something of yours.
00:36:02Something of mine? What?
00:36:04You know, that pair of binoculars you picked up in Tokyo?
00:36:08Oh, those, yeah.
00:36:11Well, do you want to give him something yourself?
00:36:14I've given him too much already.
00:36:18Darling, I'm so happy right now.
00:36:21I think this is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to us.
00:36:25I tell you, if another catastrophe had come along, I don't know what really would have happened to our marriage.
00:36:31Sometimes I think of all kinds of terrible things.
00:36:34Sweetheart, we'd have made out somehow, wouldn't we?
00:36:37Well, it'd be silly to talk about it because we've been so lucky.
00:36:41I wonder what King will say when he finds out we're going to give him a party.
00:36:45He'll say something.
00:36:47I know.
00:36:48You'll be in charge of the entertainment committee because you're so cute at thinking of wonderful things to do.
00:36:55Yeah, I always think of wonderful things to do.
00:37:00All ready.
00:37:03Ready and waiting.
00:37:04Bye, honey.
00:37:05Bye.
00:37:07Oh, wonderful things.
00:37:18Oh, Captain, I'm so sorry I'm late.
00:37:21How nice to see you, dear.
00:37:26Contemporary sociological phenomena.
00:37:29Yes.
00:37:30Ladies and gentlemen, I think you all know that this little gala is being given in honor of one of our most famous passengers,
00:37:38Mr. King Balor, who I'm sure he won't mind if we all call him King.
00:37:43We all know of his ability as an actor, but few of us know that he is one of the really great weightlifters.
00:37:50And I think with a little more encouragement from all of you, including myself, we would be able to get him up here to lift a few for us.
00:38:14He's lifting a few himself.
00:38:17Would you hold it, please?
00:38:18I'd like to get just one quick picture.
00:38:22Oh, thank you.
00:38:23You love it.
00:38:24You're not ashamed of me, are you?
00:38:27How could you possibly think that?
00:38:28Oh, you dear boy.
00:38:48Hold it.
00:38:59Look at him up there, fathead.
00:39:02Fine father my baby's gonna have.
00:39:12Wee!
00:39:13Wee!
00:39:19It'll probably be born with a hernia.
00:39:29And he doesn't even know how lucky he is.
00:39:32Suppose he ever found out.
00:39:34And he will find out when he sees the baby.
00:39:37Only thing to do is tell him.
00:39:40Come right out and face him like a man and tell him.
00:39:43He'd understand.
00:39:45We've been friends a long time.
00:39:48King, we've been friends a long time.
00:39:50There's something very important I have to discuss with you.
00:39:54Sure, Bob.
00:39:55What?
00:39:57You've been around a lot.
00:39:58I mean, you know what the score is.
00:40:00Sure.
00:40:01I guess so.
00:40:03Wow.
00:40:04What a build.
00:40:06I take pretty good care of myself, you know?
00:40:08Yeah.
00:40:10Wow!
00:40:14What's eating you?
00:40:16King, I have a problem.
00:40:18I mean, it happened when I was in military school.
00:40:20For four years, Sandy and I, we want, I want desperately, but we can't.
00:40:23I mean, I try, but I just can't.
00:40:25I can't.
00:40:26You mean...
00:40:28Poor Sandy.
00:40:30You, you married her.
00:40:35I have a problem and I might as well admit it.
00:40:38I am just beginning to realize that.
00:40:40It's not the sort of thing you talk about.
00:40:42You're sure right.
00:40:44Like I say, it started when I was in military school.
00:40:46No excuse.
00:40:48Look, Bob.
00:40:49Have you ever thought of going to a doctor about this?
00:40:52I did.
00:40:53That's where the whole trouble started.
00:40:54He gave me these pills, see?
00:40:56I put the pills in the wine.
00:40:57That's where you came in.
00:40:58Poor Sandy.
00:41:00You like Sandy, don't you?
00:41:02Sandy is a wonderful girl.
00:41:04Then you can realize how this whole thing started.
00:41:06Keep away from me or so help me, I'll belt you.
00:41:10You'll belt me?
00:41:11That's a switch.
00:41:12You wind up with my wife and you hit me?
00:41:14Me and Sandy?
00:41:15Why, you dirty...
00:41:18THE END
00:41:45Send me a big one.
00:41:46I want it for a calendar.
00:41:52Look at that.
00:41:53Don't bother to count them, darling.
00:41:54I'll keep you a secret.
00:41:56I didn't know you were going to do this too.
00:41:58Jeff and I have something for you.
00:42:00I can't wait.
00:42:01Happy birthday to you from us.
00:42:04Oh, it's marvelous.
00:42:08You shouldn't have really given me anything.
00:42:10He's absolutely right.
00:42:12Oh, Jeff, behave yourself.
00:42:14A perfect physical specimen, isn't he, Claire?
00:42:17A wife can't testify against her husband.
00:42:19Next, you want to examine my teeth?
00:42:21That's a good idea. May I?
00:42:23Oh, Jeff.
00:42:24Why are you so interested in dentistry all of a sudden?
00:42:27It isn't all of a sudden.
00:42:29I had an uncle who was a friendly friend of dentists.
00:42:32He was a friendly friend of...
00:42:34Anyway, I inherited my interest from him.
00:42:37You believe in heredity, don't you, King?
00:42:40Of course. Very possible.
00:42:42Look, so do I.
00:42:44Take off your shoes.
00:42:46Go ahead. I just did.
00:42:47I'm quite comfortable, thanks.
00:42:49Come on, take them off.
00:42:50We can learn a lot from the Orientals.
00:42:52I take mine off every day.
00:42:54Solid comfort.
00:42:57Cut it out. I don't want to take off my shoes.
00:43:00He's got a hole in the sock.
00:43:02I think he's got a hole in his head.
00:43:04He's got a hole in his sock.
00:43:06He doesn't want anybody to know about it.
00:43:08For Pete's sake.
00:43:10All right.
00:43:11He's really smashed.
00:43:13A licker like fire.
00:43:14A good servant, but a bad master.
00:43:17King must think so well.
00:43:19Yes, he's always thinking.
00:43:22He's got perfect arches. Perfect!
00:43:24That's great.
00:43:25What's so great about normal feet?
00:43:27Jeff, Jeff, I think I have something in my eye.
00:43:29Could you aid me?
00:43:31She wants me to aid her.
00:43:32That means I'm going to get something in my eye.
00:43:36Cut it out.
00:43:37You know how sensitive King is about his looks.
00:43:39You can sit there and talk to him about anything.
00:43:41Anything but his appearance.
00:43:46She's absolutely right.
00:43:48King.
00:43:51Any insanity in your family?
00:43:53Jeff!
00:43:54That's all right, Sandy. He's just joking.
00:43:56That's right, Sandy. I'm just joking.
00:43:59Is there?
00:44:00No.
00:44:01But I've got a friend. I'm not too sure.
00:44:05I'd better help you back on with your shoes.
00:44:10Oh!
00:44:11I'm sorry, old boy. I didn't mean to do that.
00:44:14That's all right.
00:44:15He has perfect reflexes. Perfect!
00:44:19If you two boys are still playing footsies, I'd like to dance.
00:44:23Good idea. I'll dance with you, Clare.
00:44:25King, would you dance with Sandy?
00:44:28Come on, Clare. Up and at them.
00:44:30I've got to get my shoes.
00:44:32I don't mind your shoes.
00:44:33I guess you're stuck with me.
00:44:36On my birthday.
00:44:40Come on.
00:45:00I never saw Nick this way before.
00:45:02Oh, he's just exhilarated.
00:45:04What do you suppose got into him?
00:45:06I'd say about a quart.
00:45:09Come on.
00:45:22I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
00:45:24Oh, that's all right.
00:45:25Playing warthog is where that came from.
00:45:27I'm a clumsy clod and I can't do anything right.
00:45:30Oh, I don't know about that.
00:45:32You drink a pretty mean drink.
00:45:35Thanks. I don't mind if I do.
00:45:37Excuse me, please.
00:45:44Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?
00:45:47Ladies and gentlemen, with a little encouragement from all of us,
00:45:50I think we can persuade Sandy, who is the wife of King's best friend,
00:45:53to sing a little song for us.
00:45:55Now, let's have a hand for Sandy, all right?
00:46:00Promise of anything?
00:46:02Promise of anything?
00:46:06Promise her anything
00:46:10If you're in love
00:46:14Promise her anything
00:46:18If you care
00:46:22True love comes but once
00:46:25So they say
00:46:28When you find it
00:46:31Don't let it slip away
00:46:35I'll promise her everything
00:46:39Everything grand
00:46:43And if she's right for you
00:46:46She'll understand
00:46:50No go to her
00:46:53A woman instinctively knows
00:46:57Yes, promise her anything
00:47:00In love
00:47:02Anything goes
00:47:21Look at her. She's beautiful.
00:47:25Right.
00:47:45I'm not good enough for her, that's all.
00:47:48Right.
00:47:54Right.
00:48:00I'll promise her anything
00:48:03In love
00:48:05Anything goes
00:48:24Mr. Brooks. Mr. Brooks.
00:48:26Mr. Brooks.
00:48:28I didn't mean anything by it.
00:48:30It's all right.
00:48:32There you go.
00:48:34It's really not necessary.
00:48:35Are you sure you're all right?
00:48:36I'm fine.
00:48:41Sandy doesn't know.
00:48:43She doesn't know what I did.
00:48:45But she's got to know.
00:48:46A marriage has to be based on trust.
00:48:49I've got to tell her.
00:48:51I've got to act like a man and tell her what I did.
00:48:57Do you want something?
00:49:02See you later.
00:49:04Sandy, you're gorgeous.
00:49:06Jeff, you're trying too hard on me.
00:49:09Sweetheart, I love you more than life itself.
00:49:12Do you really?
00:49:13Oh, darling, you wanted a baby.
00:49:14I wanted you to have a baby.
00:49:16I never intended it to work out like this.
00:49:18But King's a healthy guy.
00:49:20I look at it like this.
00:49:21We're modern, sophisticated adults.
00:49:23Whatever happened, has happened.
00:49:25And there's nothing we can do about it.
00:49:50Baby.
00:50:08Oh, what divine zombie glasses.
00:50:11Oh, they're baby bottles.
00:50:13Come on now, open mine next, dear heart.
00:50:16Baby, let me get through there.
00:50:18Come on girls, cheer up.
00:50:20There we go.
00:50:23Oh, I got carried away, you know.
00:50:26Oh!
00:50:29What a big look!
00:50:32What if it's a boy?
00:50:34I have a blue one, sweetie.
00:50:37Now, if you decide to let it come in natural,
00:50:39you can always wear one of these.
00:50:41I am going to let it come in natural.
00:50:43Would you like me to model it?
00:50:45Yes!
00:50:46Oh, I love it!
00:50:47Look at that!
00:50:48That's going to change his coiffure.
00:50:51Oh, here, darling.
00:50:54Now, remember your condition, honey.
00:50:57If it bites me, I'm going to kill it, OK?
00:51:00She killed me, too.
00:51:03Now, I'd like to show you girls
00:51:05how a wig can completely transform your personality.
00:51:10There we go.
00:51:17Oh, darling.
00:51:19It's absolutely divine of you to invite me
00:51:22on your little soiree.
00:51:25I'm adrift, you know.
00:51:27I just closed my latest play in New York.
00:51:30I thought it would be a tour de force.
00:51:32However, I was forced to tour.
00:51:36Oh, what a bore.
00:51:39Now, we have glasses, identification,
00:51:43a darling, darling red one this time.
00:51:46Pretty.
00:51:50I should like to read a nursery rhyme for you.
00:51:56Oh, Betty.
00:51:58Little Miss Moffat sat on a toffee
00:52:03eating her curds and whey.
00:52:07There came a big spider and sat down beside her
00:52:12and said,
00:52:14I haven't had decent curds and whey
00:52:17since they closed Romanoff.
00:52:25Now, for this nest I need a little production.
00:52:28May I have that over there?
00:52:30Thank you, dear.
00:52:31Now, will you darlings make a little curtain for me?
00:52:34Kind of a puppet theater.
00:52:35Yes.
00:52:38Up we go.
00:52:41All right.
00:52:42Ready.
00:52:43Curtain.
00:52:46Hello, everybody.
00:52:51She missed you.
00:52:54Has everyone seen my beautiful new present?
00:52:58It's diamond studded.
00:53:02It's a diaper for the baby that has everything.
00:53:07Now, let's see if I know how to fold it.
00:53:10Oh, there.
00:53:13Isn't that just too perfect?
00:53:16I can do her, too.
00:53:18Isn't that just too perfect?
00:53:21It's diamond studded.
00:53:25Oh, Sandy.
00:53:27Oh, I've been looking all over for you.
00:53:30Five scotches on the plate.
00:53:31Hiya, Doc.
00:53:32Have a drink?
00:53:33Oh, dear me.
00:53:35It's a little early in the day for that, isn't it?
00:53:37I hate a clock watcher.
00:53:39Mr. Brooks, you are a lucky man.
00:53:43How do you figure that out, Doc?
00:53:46Well, I'm a lucky man.
00:53:49I'm a lucky man.
00:53:52How do you figure that out, Doc?
00:53:55I examined your wife this morning.
00:53:57There's absolutely no doubt about it this time.
00:54:00You're going to be a father.
00:54:03More or less.
00:54:04Of course.
00:54:05I didn't let her see that I was surprised.
00:54:07I let her go.
00:54:08I'm thinking that it was true two weeks ago when you told her.
00:54:10Obviously, my pills worked.
00:54:13Obviously.
00:54:14Why?
00:54:15I beg your pardon?
00:54:16I didn't say anything.
00:54:17Have a drink.
00:54:18Oh, no, no, thanks.
00:54:19I knew you could do it.
00:54:20I knew it.
00:54:21Thanks, Doc.
00:54:22Thanks.
00:54:23Oh, well, we'll see.
00:54:26Oh, I quite like my shirt.
00:54:29Don't worry, dear heart.
00:54:31I'll reach up the wig for you.
00:54:33Well, just tell me tomorrow.
00:54:35See you later.
00:54:36Thank you, everyone.
00:54:37It was just fun.
00:54:38Thank you so much.
00:54:40Now I'm getting there again.
00:54:43Yes, darling.
00:54:44What a fabulous day.
00:54:46Wasn't it fun?
00:54:48Wonderful.
00:54:49Wonderful.
00:54:50Did you ever see so many beautiful presents?
00:54:52Wonderful.
00:54:54Oh, thank you.
00:54:56Now don't forget we've got hair appointments this afternoon.
00:54:58I won't forget.
00:54:59And this is yours.
00:55:00Oh, yeah.
00:55:01Bye.
00:55:02Bye.
00:55:07How was the shower?
00:55:09Wonderful.
00:55:10It stank.
00:55:12I've never seen so many lovely presents.
00:55:15She's up to her ears in junk.
00:55:17You should have seen the girls.
00:55:20And those broths.
00:55:22Every time she opened the gift, it was oohs and ahs.
00:55:26And how cute.
00:55:28And how divine.
00:55:29How nauseating.
00:55:31You're getting fat.
00:55:33I know it.
00:55:34You're jealous.
00:55:36I am not.
00:55:38And you shut up.
00:55:46You don't love me anymore.
00:55:48It's been a month since I've seen you sober enough to think about it.
00:55:52Ooh.
00:55:53King never gets drunk, does he?
00:55:56No, he doesn't.
00:55:59You sound just like your mother.
00:56:02That's a nasty remark.
00:56:05And you meant it to be nasty.
00:56:08You know something, my own true love?
00:56:11You sound just like her too.
00:56:14Just for your information, my mother is going to meet us in New York.
00:56:18Are you going to let her see you like this?
00:56:20If she's good.
00:56:27I'm not supposed to get upset, so don't upset me.
00:56:30If you want to drink yourself silly, go right ahead.
00:56:32I do.
00:56:33Leave me alone.
00:56:35Do it.
00:56:45Why don't you wear glasses?
00:56:47Don't be silly.
00:56:50For once, why don't you admit that you're not completely perfect?
00:56:54We're nasty today, huh?
00:56:56No, I'm just fed up with everything.
00:56:59Claire, what's getting to you all of a sudden?
00:57:02Now look, don't you start defending her.
00:57:04Who?
00:57:06Don't pull that innocent act with me.
00:57:08You know darn well who.
00:57:10What did I say?
00:57:11You don't have to say anything.
00:57:13I know what you're thinking.
00:57:14Just how many kids are you expecting?
00:57:16What do you mean by that?
00:57:18My mind happened to be an absolute blank, if you want to know.
00:57:21Look at all this junk.
00:57:22Your mind's always a blank when it comes to me.
00:57:26Maybe it's because I'm not collecting bottle warmers like little Mother McCree in there.
00:57:31And you ought to see that lair she's collected.
00:57:34If it isn't all cashmere, it's yaks hair.
00:57:38That kid will be seven years old before it gets over the itch.
00:57:41Well, don't climb on me about it.
00:57:43I had nothing to do with her baby.
00:57:45Flares.
00:57:46Look at this.
00:57:47The kid's going to be smothered in all this fuzz.
00:57:50I don't know what's the matter with you.
00:57:51Give me that.
00:57:52Oh, I suppose King would never say anything like that, would he?
00:57:56I suppose Sandy would never be nasty, would she?
00:58:00Stop knocking my friend.
00:58:02I think I'll go out and get some fresh air.
00:58:05Bring some back.
00:58:06Ho, ho, ho.
00:58:09It's getting stuffy in here.
00:58:11I'm going out.
00:58:13I wish you'd just go away and leave me alone.
00:58:15If you're so miserable with me, why don't we just call it quits?
00:58:18Okay.
00:58:19If you want a divorce, you've got it.
00:58:26We were just talking about you.
00:58:28So were we.
00:58:41Read any good labels lately?
00:58:43Mm-hmm.
00:58:45Hey.
00:58:57If she only knew.
00:58:59But nobody knows.
00:59:01Just me.
00:59:02Sandy's got to know, though.
00:59:04You can't build a marriage on a lie.
00:59:07Not on a lie like that.
00:59:09Sooner or later, I've got to tell her.
00:59:16Do you want something?
00:59:21See you later.
00:59:23Darling, the time has come.
00:59:26Dinner won't be ready for another 15 minutes.
00:59:29Sweetheart, forget dinner.
00:59:31I've come to talk to you about our child.
00:59:34Oh, you need the most precious thing in the world.
00:59:38Oh, I know.
00:59:40I've come to talk to you about our child.
00:59:43Oh, you need the most precious little baby.
00:59:47Yeah, he's precious, all right.
00:59:49But what would you say if I told you that that child isn't mine?
00:59:53Well, of course he's yours, Jeff.
00:59:55It says so right on the birth certificate.
00:59:58Forget the birth certificate.
01:00:00That child's real father is king.
01:00:02King for all.
01:00:04Manner.
01:00:06Oh, darling, you're just upset.
01:00:08Here, I've prepared for you a little drink.
01:00:11Oh, you don't believe me.
01:00:14Yes, I do believe you.
01:00:16I've always believed you.
01:00:17That's because you've never lied to me.
01:00:20You're too good to us.
01:00:22To us.
01:00:26What did you put in that drink?
01:00:28Oh, just a pill, darling.
01:00:30You know all about pills and drinks.
01:00:34You couldn't.
01:00:35You didn't.
01:00:36You couldn't.
01:00:40Couldn't I?
01:00:43Poor little baby.
01:00:45As if we didn't know.
01:00:53You look awful.
01:00:55I thought we were going to have to slide you over the side at daybreak.
01:00:58They say it's the only way to go.
01:01:02Want a drink?
01:01:03No, thanks.
01:01:05You're mad at me, too.
01:01:07No, I'm not.
01:01:10I wonder where that ship's going.
01:01:16Down.
01:01:19Enough of this.
01:01:20I'll buy you a cup of black coffee.
01:01:23Claire, I want to talk to you.
01:01:25Sure, after a nice cup of black, strong coffee.
01:01:29What a revolting idea.
01:01:32More coffee, sir.
01:01:34No, no thanks.
01:01:38What now, you were saying?
01:01:40Think back to the night I bumped my head.
01:01:43Do you remember anything unusual about it?
01:01:45Well, it was quite a bump.
01:01:47What about it?
01:01:48No, I'm talking about you and me.
01:01:50Do you remember what happened to us?
01:01:52Well, as I recall, we spent the night together.
01:01:55Right.
01:01:56And I was knocked out.
01:01:58But what did we do?
01:02:00Oh, I just told you, honey.
01:02:02We spent the night together.
01:02:04Oh, Claire.
01:02:05Come with me.
01:02:09Uh, perhaps madam would like mince pie.
01:02:12Oh, I'd love it.
01:02:14But if I ate anything so rich, it'd probably kill me.
01:02:18She'll have her mince pie.
01:02:20Oh, Julio, you're so good to me.
01:02:24The doctor said I shouldn't.
01:02:27I'll have all of them.
01:02:33Now do you remember?
01:02:35I remember falling asleep in here.
01:02:37But before you fell asleep.
01:02:40I remember giving you a pill.
01:02:42Right.
01:02:43Now, did you make love to me?
01:02:46Did I make love to you?
01:02:48I like the way you put that.
01:02:49Did you?
01:02:50You're out of your mind.
01:02:52Claire, really, listen.
01:02:54No, you are serious.
01:02:56It's driving me crazy.
01:02:58At times, I almost remember it.
01:03:00Then, like now, it seems like a dream.
01:03:02Was I fascinating?
01:03:04Overwhelming.
01:03:06You're an idiot.
01:03:07In the first place, I'm not casual with my favors.
01:03:11And...
01:03:20And in the second place, the doctor was right there with us all night.
01:03:23What was he doing?
01:03:24Selling tickets?
01:03:25He wasn't there.
01:03:26He was too there.
01:03:27He was not there.
01:03:28He was not there.
01:03:29And what about my wife and your husband?
01:03:31They were selling tickets.
01:03:41They were all dancing or something somewhere, weren't they?
01:03:44All night?
01:03:47Come to think of it, he never has mentioned that night to me.
01:03:50Not once.
01:03:52Claire, you ought to know everything.
01:03:54Are you putting me on?
01:03:56I hope to cut out my tongue after I tell you this, or I'll never be able to repeat it.
01:04:27KING
01:04:30King?
01:04:32Sandy and King?
01:04:34Go ahead, whatever you say, I deserve it.
01:04:36What's so funny?
01:04:38Oh, if you only knew.
01:04:42Look, Jeff, why is this so important to you?
01:04:45Why?
01:04:46You want your own baby.
01:04:47That's why.
01:04:48It's a fundamental instinct.
01:04:50Look, if you feed it and clothe it and love it, then it's yours.
01:04:56I found this out when I was seven years old.
01:04:58Seven?
01:04:59I had a dog.
01:05:01And this dog had puppies right under my bed.
01:05:04And when the puppies died, I went out and found a litter of kittens to console it.
01:05:08Well, she licked them and she fed them.
01:05:11And most important of all, she loved them.
01:05:15And believe me, they were hers.
01:05:17Well, if Sandy has a litter of kittens, I'll love them too.
01:05:21But just in case she happens to have a baby, it'll be King's.
01:05:24The baby is yours.
01:05:26Oh, sure.
01:05:29There's not a doubt in the world.
01:05:32I'd give anything in the world to believe that.
01:05:37I guess it's my turn to tell a story.
01:05:40I won't promise to cut out my tongue, but I would appreciate it if you'd keep the secret.
01:05:45Sure.
01:05:55No.
01:05:56King Banner?
01:05:58Yeah, gets you right here, doesn't it?
01:06:00All these years and he never let on.
01:06:03Oh, he doesn't know.
01:06:04Can you imagine anyone telling King he's anything less than perfect?
01:06:11Do you realize what you're saying?
01:06:25Precisely my words to the doctor five years ago.
01:06:30Good old King.
01:06:33Thanks for telling me.
01:06:34Isn't it wonderful?
01:06:41Splendid.
01:06:45Oh, excuse me.
01:06:46My wife's having a baby and I'm the father.
01:06:48I'm the father.
01:06:49Baby, baby.
01:06:50Julio, flirted with me.
01:07:13Excuse me.
01:07:14Captain, she's my wife.
01:07:17I'm awfully sorry.
01:07:18Excuse me.
01:07:19Captain, she's my wife.
01:07:20I'm the baby.
01:07:21I'm going to be the father.
01:07:22Excuse me.
01:07:23I'm awfully sorry.
01:07:26My wife's baby is going to look like me.
01:07:28My wife's baby, like me.
01:07:29Well, that's a risk you have to take.
01:07:36Honey.
01:07:39I'm back.
01:07:41What happened to you?
01:07:43I just realized what a lucky guy I am.
01:07:45I've been behaving like an awful rat.
01:07:47Where have you been just now?
01:07:48To a revival meeting?
01:07:50Sweetheart, I...
01:07:51I just...
01:07:52I just...
01:07:53I just want to watch you knit.
01:07:55Sorry.
01:07:56The show just broke.
01:07:57Clare and I have hair appointments.
01:07:59Then I'll knit for you.
01:08:01Think I can't?
01:08:03Watch.
01:08:10You nut.
01:08:11All right.
01:08:12Behave yourself.
01:08:13Be a good boy.
01:08:14I'll be back in a couple of hours, okay?
01:08:26There you are.
01:08:27We've got hair appointments.
01:08:28Oh, for goodness sakes, I almost forgot.
01:08:30And that I couldn't afford.
01:08:36Come in.
01:08:39Hi.
01:08:40Hi.
01:08:42You're sober.
01:08:43Just an affectation.
01:08:46Sit down, King.
01:08:47You look a little peaking.
01:08:48I've never felt better in my life.
01:08:50That's right.
01:08:51You're right at the peak of your powers.
01:08:52Dawn, right?
01:08:54Right at the peak.
01:08:55You should have seen him running all over the ship,
01:08:57yelling he was a father.
01:08:59I thought he finally flipped.
01:09:01Oh, he just went on the wagon.
01:09:03Oh.
01:09:05Oh, strawberries and cream.
01:09:07I think I'll have some of those.
01:09:09Yes, ma'am.
01:09:10No, make mine a watercress sandwich.
01:09:12I'm counting calories.
01:09:14Well, that sounds good.
01:09:15I'll have that.
01:09:16Instead of strawberries?
01:09:18No, with the strawberries.
01:09:20Oh, strawberries and cream and a watercress sandwich.
01:09:23That's right.
01:09:24Mmm, the clam chowder looks yummy.
01:09:25I'll have that.
01:09:27I'll have that, too.
01:09:29Strawberries and cream and a watercress sandwich
01:09:32and clam chowder.
01:09:33That's right.
01:09:34The olives are nice.
01:09:35Of course.
01:09:36Of course.
01:09:37Oh, and would you bring me a side order
01:09:39of those little sour pickles?
01:09:46Sour pickles?
01:09:48I just all of a sudden crave something a little sour.
01:09:53There, honey.
01:09:56By any chance, would you be feeling upset,
01:09:59dizzy or something?
01:10:01No, I feel fine.
01:10:03I'm just...
01:10:06Oh, look out below!
01:10:26Where?
01:10:27Business is picking up.
01:10:36Where's King?
01:10:37Probably in the gym. Why?
01:10:38He hasn't heard.
01:10:39I want a girl. What do you want?
01:10:41I don't want to throw up.
01:10:43Well, naturally, you'd have to expect that.
01:10:45Why?
01:10:46Claire's going to have a baby.
01:10:48It happened just like that.
01:10:49Isn't that wonderful?
01:10:50Wonderful? It's impossible.
01:10:52What in the world are you talking about?
01:10:54The doctor said you could have some boning for your nausea.
01:10:57I'll try anything.
01:10:58I'll go up to the pharmacy and get you something.
01:11:00Bring me back a few.
01:11:02Claire, I'm happy as anything about you and King.
01:11:04Look, dear heart, I've got to get back to the shop.
01:11:06Besides, this may be catching.
01:11:09Thanks, Babette.
01:11:10See you later.
01:11:11Okay.
01:11:12Claire, I behave like an ass.
01:11:15I deserve your story about King.
01:11:17That was no story.
01:11:18Please.
01:11:20That was no story.
01:11:21I didn't make it up, I swear.
01:11:23You didn't?
01:11:24I guess you didn't make up that story you told me either.
01:11:27Forget the story I told you.
01:11:28It couldn't have happened. Couldn't have.
01:11:29You can't fight facts.
01:11:31There's always the postman's sister-in-law's daughter.
01:11:33That's right.
01:11:34There is.
01:11:35And it could be King's, couldn't it, Jeff?
01:11:37Could be.
01:11:38It's got to be.
01:11:39It is.
01:11:40And if there's any doubts in your mind,
01:11:41just remember the dog in the litter of kittens.
01:11:43I remember.
01:11:45And Jeff, I want you to be the first to know,
01:11:48King's been offered a six-picture deal in Europe
01:11:51and will be gone for years.
01:11:53When did King decide that?
01:11:55Oh, don't be silly.
01:11:57He doesn't even know he's going to accept it yet.
01:11:59Here's Big Daddy.
01:12:01Claire.
01:12:02Claire.
01:12:03Claire.
01:12:04Sandy just told me.
01:12:05That's a mistake, isn't it?
01:12:07No, King.
01:12:08Do you mind?
01:12:09Mind?
01:12:10For your information, I've been told, not by a quack,
01:12:14but by two competent doctors,
01:12:16that I could never be a father.
01:12:18Jeff.
01:12:19Oh, no.
01:12:20And now this.
01:12:22We'll discuss it later.
01:12:24We'll discuss it right now.
01:12:25My wife and my best friend.
01:12:27Sandy, wait in our cabin.
01:12:28I want to hear.
01:12:29Stay where you are, Sandy.
01:12:31King, I love you.
01:12:32Remember that.
01:12:33No matter what happens, I love you.
01:12:35Remember that, King.
01:12:36You two didn't fool me for a minute.
01:12:38Now, wait a minute.
01:12:39I wish somebody would tell me what's going on.
01:12:42My wife and my best friend laughing at you.
01:12:44I wasn't laughing.
01:12:45You even laughed.
01:12:46Go ahead.
01:12:47Laugh at me now.
01:12:48Laugh at my pills, my health, with my exercises.
01:12:52They worked, didn't they?
01:12:53Ho, ho.
01:12:55Oh, come on.
01:12:56Oh, here you are.
01:12:58Oh, Jeff, darling.
01:13:00This has been so much fun.
01:13:01Let's do the same thing next year.
01:13:06And so, two childless couples are no longer childless.
01:13:10Two men who thought they would never be fathers
01:13:13now find their greatest hopes fulfilled.
01:13:16In conclusion, the power of suggestion is a marvelous thing.
01:13:21It can work at the most unexpected times.
01:13:25Doctor?
01:13:29Hi.
01:13:30Can I come in?
01:13:33Doctor, I have a problem.
01:13:37Just a minute.
01:13:40To be continued, as you were saying.
01:13:43Oh, yes.
01:13:44As I was saying, I have a problem, Doctor, and it's this.
01:13:47You see, my husband and I have been on board this ship
01:13:50for six weeks now, and it's been six weeks of nothing
01:13:53but sick, sick, sick.
01:13:55He hasn't been out of that cabin once.
01:13:57Maybe once.
01:13:58That's what they do.
01:13:59Well, I'm going to look for him.
01:14:00I'm going to look for him.
01:14:01I'm going to look for him.
01:14:02I'm going to look for him.
01:14:03I'm going to look for him.
01:14:04I'm going to look for him.
01:14:05I'm going to look for him.
01:14:06I'm going to look for him.
01:14:07I'm going to look for him.
01:14:08I'm going to look for him.
01:14:09I'm going to look for him.
01:14:10I'm going to look for him.
01:14:11I'm going to look for him.
01:14:12I'm going to look for him.
01:14:13I'm going to look for him.
01:14:14I'm going to look for him.
01:14:15I'm going to look for him.
01:14:16I'm going to look for him.
01:14:17I'm going to look for him.
01:14:18I'm going to look for him.
01:14:19I'm going to look for him.
01:14:20I'm going to look for him.
01:14:21I'm going to look for him.
01:14:22I'm going to look for him.
01:14:23I'm going to look for him.
01:14:24I'm going to look for him.
01:14:25I'm going to look for him.
01:14:26I'm going to look for him.
01:14:27I'm going to look for him.
01:14:28I'm going to look for him.
01:14:29I'm going to look for him.
01:14:30I'm going to look for him.
01:14:31I'm going to look for him.
01:14:32I'm going to look for him.
01:14:33I'm going to look for him.
01:14:34I'm going to look for him.
01:14:35I'm going to look for him.
01:14:36I'm going to look for him.
01:14:37I'm going to look for him.
01:14:38I'm going to look for him.
01:14:39I'm going to look for him.
01:14:40I'm going to look for him.