The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Episode 5 - The Book of Broken Vows
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00:00I
00:14Love you night-night
00:18I have to tell you the team is for that happen this weekend. All right, I'll get my popcorn
00:23How was your trip? Oh
00:26It's exhausting. Is it drama?
00:29Always, who do you think started it?
00:32It sucked the pictures looked good. I saw well, don't believe everything you see on social media, I guess
00:38Why did it suck?
00:40Whitney, why don't you like Taylor? I'm not the freaking swinger here
00:44I'm not the one that's going around trying to seduce other people's husbands. Well, I don't regret anything
00:48I'm glad I told him you little twat
00:52What the fuck are you talking about
00:55It was just a shit show a lot of hurtful things were said and a lot of hurtful things were brought up
01:00Like did it change your relationships with them? It did make me question a couple things
01:05It turned into an absolute bloodbath
01:08like everyone's attacking me like coming at me like you said this about this person and
01:12Demi comes up and just starts
01:15Attacking out of freaking nowhere. She's not your friend. I'm not shit. In fact are any of those girls your friend?
01:20No fucking shit. Yeah, they're absolutely not fake
01:22I don't even know like do I really want to be close with anyone like and you get all these girls together and you hear
01:27That they're like saying the all these things behind your back. There's a reason I'm like as scared as I am
01:32Yes, you're my only friend
01:36It was just the icing on the cake
01:38I was like she found out after the girls trip mom talk is very fractured at the moment
01:43I don't think anyone knows where we stand and I don't know how we fix things. You got to decide how to move forward
01:50Fuck
02:02I'm the one
02:06I've got everything
02:09Try me and you see I'll bring it to your knees baby, you're gonna believe
02:20Oh
02:38Front row parking I love we're just all going to swig at 3 p.m. Together. I know I've seen my Mormon craft
02:45Exactly to me Whitney was here
02:49No
02:51No, really
02:58The girls trip was a bit of a mess so at this point
03:02I feel a little bit more comfortable with Leila and Jesse. Okay, definitely a Fruity Pebbles a Fruity Pebbles rice. Yes
03:11Could I do a 32 ounce, Texas tab
03:15Utah is like land of the Mormon bar, which are all the soda shops that we have. There's one on every corner
03:20We don't drink alcohol or do drugs. And so it's kind of our vice
03:27My soda order is very specific. I'm gonna do a
03:3244 ounce fighter and did you want that was sparkling or flat water clean please sparkling water
03:3744 ounce sparkling water with sugar-free coconut sugar-free vanilla sugar-free raspberry
03:43sugar-free pineapple and coconut cream
03:46Chef's kiss. Can I do a bloody wild add coconut cream six out of the seven days of the week?
03:52I'm having at least one 44 ounce soda. Yes a 44 ounce and I drink it and like an hour
03:58I'm probably only gonna live to like 50 but makes me happy. I love that you got a race for speed
04:04I
04:06Sent a picture
04:07On your story. Have you guys talked about that situation? No, you think she's gonna come to your divorce party on Thursday?
04:15Wendy doesn't come to anything. That's uncomfortable
04:18So no like she didn't come to the shower. This is like we're supposedly friends
04:22So if she doesn't come on Thursday just because I don't you I'd be like
04:25Grow up and mom talk right now. It's a little bit awkward, but I'm really excited for this divorce party
04:32Invited all the girls all of their husbands a couple of my other friends even Whitney. I wish I even got your voice memo
04:39Do you think she blocked you? I don't know if she blocked my number
04:41I know she's blocked me on everything else. I would not be surprised
04:43She leaves the group message blocks you on tik-tok blocks on Instagram. Why wouldn't she do that?
04:46Yeah, the Queen Bee has officially left the group chat. I
04:53Can't say I'm shocked because Whitney makes very dramatic decisions based off of emotion
04:58But I am a little shocked at the same time because it was a very public fuck you to all of us
05:03She didn't tell anyone she was doing it, but she did it because she wanted us to see it
05:07I think she wanted to ruffle some feathers and I think she wanted to see who was gonna check on her afterwards
05:14No, babe, first of all, don't run away
05:18Second of all an apology would be nice when you do something. Well, it was like a breakthrough moment
05:22It could have been gone the other way, but instead it was worse because she couldn't own up to it
05:26Yeah, if you have a problem with me or you're upset with me
05:28It's your responsibility to come to me and I don't want to cater to the victim mentality
05:33I really don't we've seen enough of that with her that I'm like, I don't want to be that person
05:37That's constantly like Oh Whitney. You left the group chat. Oh Whitney. You blocked me. There's so much rage
05:42I'm like, you know those places that you go there like the rage rooms. Oh, we know cuz I would love that
05:47Is that a real thing? Yes, we could literally go like axe throwing or like a rager. We're like paintballing
05:51Yes, something to just get our aggression out. Should I invite Whitney?
06:00Because think about it if you were to invite us all where would you put it the group message?
06:03Mm-hmm. She chose to leave that. Yeah
06:06I also feel like Taylor and Whitney both have these like
06:09dominant alpha personalities and it's kind of been a power struggle of who's Queen B of the group and now that Whitney's left the chat and
06:16Taylor's like doesn't really care. Are you our new Queen B at times?
06:20I'm like the voice of the group like because you're willing to say the uncomfortable thing. Yeah, well often I'm making it
06:25Yeah, I look around and I'm like anyone else you were like does anyone yeah, but to be honest
06:30I do think you would be a better leader
06:33Sure, not true. Sure
06:36Because Whitney's the type that like manipulates Taylor really doesn't care. She was just kind of put in that position
06:41I'm just here at this point. Yes
06:43To like have a backbone and be our spokesperson
06:46I don't necessarily need to be the Queen B or the leader per se
06:51however, if mom talk is to survive, I do think that we need someone to come in and
06:57lead the group in a sense of what we want mom talk to be and kind of bring it back to why it was
07:02Originally started in the first place and I think that I could definitely get the job done
07:06Whitney wants it so bad that it's just like yeah, it's cringy
07:10Yeah, and like if she's a true follower of Christ you seek to understand people and you forgive and you move forward
07:16Yeah, and maybe she's not there right now. I think she's stubborn. I'm over it. Absolutely
07:21You're the new leader of our cult
07:23Oh
07:38Say more more more more you want to do the zebra again?
07:43What's up
07:46Hey, what are you doing?
07:48trying to make
07:49homemade animal crackers
07:52You with the kids, yeah, I'm okay after the girls trip for my birthday weekend because it was so bad
07:58Definitely want to talk to Whitney about it. I don't make sure she feels loved and supported
08:01But sometimes she's a loose cannon and I just can't predict her next move out of curiosity
08:06How do you feel about like the whole mom top group? What do you mean? Like what should we try to get the band together?
08:15Let's be honest
08:17Have we all ever really been genuine real friends or has there always been an agenda has there always been some sort of transaction needed
08:27We didn't meet each other on social media really but we met on social media, would you not hang out with me?
08:36Yeah, that's different I thought you were meaning like as a whole group
08:43It was very transactional and then the swinger drama happened and I feel like
08:47People who were left were like the ones who are more authentic and stuff
08:50But and like wanting to be a friend and not just like an acquaintance. I don't think we're friends. I
08:58Feel like everyone's competitive against each other
09:01Gets easily jealous of each other rude to each other. Like that's not what
09:05Real friends do to each other. I mean, it's a mutual. I don't even feel like anybody wants to fucking be my friend right now
09:11Like I don't sorry
09:13Thank you, I
09:15Feel like I'm trying to convince Whitney to make amends with everyone because I love her
09:19We're great friends
09:20You said like when you went to Hawaii that like you just needed to get away like whatever
09:25I think Whitney tries to act like she doesn't care but in reality she cares more than anyone mom talk does need Whitney
09:33I think she's a big part of it and I think things could get better if we could all just come together
09:38Maybe have a come to Jesus a little kumbaya hug and kiss whatever. I don't know but
09:43I do feel like there's a way we can make amends. I'm not gonna force anyone to fuck
09:48To effing listen to me. So what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna walk away. I'm gonna walk away cuz it's not worth it
09:57Honestly, I'm just so hurt about how that girl's trip went down that I just I don't even think I can think clearly right now
10:04I don't think there would be a mom talk if I wasn't there. I
10:08Have to go but I love you. Let me know if you need anything
10:11Okay, love you, bye
10:23I definitely feel responsible for the divide that has happened
10:28Amongst mom talk because I didn't invite half the girls for my baby blessing
10:33so I'm inviting Taylor and Dakota over to my house to
10:38Hopefully fix that and make sure that I do value our friendship gosh, is your house always this clean? I
10:45Live oh, I have a way better. He's not a nice person if the house isn't clean. Oh my gosh
10:50It's just so cute and small. I
10:54Think I'm probably like four weeks away from delivering at this point and
10:57Especially after a crazy week for mom talk like the girls and the stress
11:01I feel very overwhelmed and
11:03It's now messing with my pregnancy and I feel like I need to take a step back
11:06That's one thing. I don't want to tolerate and it's unfair to my baby. I can't even process it
11:12How do you excited or how do you feel? Oh, I'm so excited
11:15So today Zach and Jen have this crash course for Dakota to learn everything about a newborn
11:21Although I think Dakota is gonna be a great dad
11:24I don't think he understands how hard it actually is going to be
11:28Everybody always talks about the beginning part and how you don't sleep. It's pretty rough. Yeah, it's pretty
11:34Yeah, what are you most nervous about oh
11:37I
11:38Don't know. He has no idea what's coming. You know how to make a bottle
11:43No, let him hold the baby while he makes the bottle. Can you do that?
11:45Yeah, you help Dakota prepare to become a new dad
11:50we're going to show him how to make a bottle how to change a diaper and how to
11:57Suction boogers out of baby's nose. You got to make the bottle and be able to hold the baby at the same time
12:02Okay, we got to make this like realistic he's probably crying at this point
12:07You're probably freaking out. Yes, you're rocking him
12:13Put in two scoops
12:15I
12:40Mean you've changed a diaper though, right? Yes
12:46Wipe down his peepee. Okay. Can I let go of a leg or kind of I kind of try to like
12:55All right, we're almost done buddy we made it
13:01Okay, sorry, I don't know the best method of doing this part
13:05I know I know
13:11Okay, okay and then this thing I suck in on right that's the ultimate test sucking snot out of Lucas knows
13:26So crazy to me
13:29All right, we're going in. I
13:32Would give him for not knowing anything I give him a B
13:42Okay, I'm gonna stir up
13:44That is just mind-blowing to me
13:47I don't know if anyone's giving you like a heads up
13:48But like not only is your wife gonna be like super tired for the next couple months, but like girlfriend my wife
13:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't say your future wife your wife
14:00Yeah, you can't like trying I think Dakota is gonna be a great dad and
14:07We can see like we both want the same things, but he wants marriage right now
14:12You can't be intimate for like the next like three or four months, right?
14:15No, that's what Taylor was telling having this baby out of wedlock may not be ideal in our religion
14:21But I'm not gonna be pressured by
14:24Dakota my parents my family my religion for something. I am just not ready to do
14:44Touching up tattoos. Yes, and I make it one more. Okay, just a little dainty guy though. I do
14:51I
14:59Today I'm going to get my tattoos touched up and covered up
15:02I have two little dots on my ankle that signify just me and clay in our marriage and I'm excited to be able to turn
15:09A new leaf to be able to celebrate the fact that I'm getting a divorce and make light of something
15:13That's already really hard. Why does everyone get so many tattoos during a divorce?
15:17I
15:21Even though it's not a common thing for us Mormons to maybe be at a tattoo parlor
15:26I will do anything for Leila. Honestly, it's courageous of her to
15:31Walk away from a marriage, especially being LDS and with everything that's going on with mom talk and all the drama
15:38I stand by her wanting to do what's best for her. I
15:42Think I want to get something for my sister. Are you super close to her? No
15:46We're just so damn busy both of our lives and she's about to get married this year
15:50I just feel like we just miss each other in life sometimes
15:52I feel like right now I'm hoping that this tattoo will be like, okay, like I see you. I hope you see me
15:57Yes
15:58we can like start to like be a little bit closer cuz like I
16:01Don't have a close relationship like honestly any of my family and it sucks
16:04And that's like sometimes why I feel like maybe I did rush into the marriage with clay because I craved
16:09That family that I never hadurity
16:12Growing up. I did not have a strong family structure in the slightest
16:16I felt always just out of place at home finding the church gave me a sense of belonging and just direction in my life
16:23But I got married when I was 19. We had a shotgun wedding because we got pregnant
16:28We felt like it was the right thing to do. We had a lot of people
16:31Giving their opinions. We already messed up the steps that like are normally
16:36encouraged in the church, so at least we had to do like one thing right by getting married and
16:41I just don't think we ever had a very healthy
16:44relationship
16:45Honestly, I've been having this idea that I think I should throw some type of like death to divorce
16:51Party and like everyone wear like black like funeral vibes
16:54Yeah, like just to kind of celebrate me stepping into this new chapter of my life. I'll have my girls
16:59That's all I need I can see you coming into the next phase of your life, and I'm excited for you
17:04Not that it's like this huge thing, but what's your plan with dating?
17:07Are you putting it on pause and just kind of focusing on yourself, or are you like time to find my man?
17:12I honestly just gonna take it day by day if somehow I ended up meeting my person throughout that awesome
17:18That's things are great. I want that happy life
17:21I've always wanted, but I just don't want to rush at this time
17:24I feel like so many times I rush things yeah
17:27And then I get in situations like with clay when I'm like holy shit like how did I yeah?
17:31I'm here you don't need to feel guilty or feel shame around getting divorced
17:35I'm not just saying that because I'm sitting here as a divorced woman
17:38But truly like that's what's so beautiful about
17:41Life in general is you have the power of choice, and if that wasn't serving you and that didn't work out
17:47It's not the end of the world
17:49Within mom talk we obviously have this built-in sisterhood and at this time
17:53I feel like Leila really needs us to come together and support her unfortunately
17:58It is very culturally normal to stay in a relationship in the Mormon Church
18:02Strictly to just make the marriage work
18:04I think that Leila is definitely breaking the traditional norm in that sense, and I commend her for that. It's not easy to do
18:11Divorce is hard. I'm starting like this new part of my life and like it doesn't have to all be so
18:16sad
18:18Glad I got my girls. I love you. Let me see the tattoo. Yes
18:23You so teeny-tiny I love her
18:32Oh
18:36We're ready to smash a sling and smash some shit. Yeah, we have some rage are we in the right place?
18:45Hello everyone I think the group relationships that were maybe a little bit
18:50Rocky or maybe more stable because we are all seeing similar things Whitney is not talking to any of us
18:58I think that the purpose of mom talk is
19:01Incredible and I don't want to let one person ruin the fun
19:04So today we are going to just throw some paint at the walls and just have a blast
19:10I don't want orange or look like I'm going to jail too bad Taylor's not here
19:14She could have worn the orange one
19:18I'm so ready
19:31I'm like having a great time, but Whitney herself is not there and it makes me feel really sad
19:42There you go, okay
19:47I just show you this picture
19:50That I saw on social media
19:52Layla, Macy, Mikaela, Demi, Jessie. It looks like a paint splatter place. It didn't look like you or Taylor were invited
20:00No, cuz I wasn't invited. Okay, why what didn't she get invited or maybe she did she's pregnant like maybe they were like
20:06She's pregnant. I don't know. That's fair, but I'm not pregnant even though I'd like to be
20:19Well, why do you think you didn't get invited in the first place I ain't get invited because I left the group chat oh
20:24Oh
20:27Yeah, I forgot yeah
20:29I just think it's so funny like Macy called me and she was like we're making things so dramatic again
20:35And I'm like what what are we making so dramatic?
20:37She's like you leaving the group chat now everyone's calling me asking me why you left the group chat. I'm like
20:42No one called me you could have called me
20:45Take a minute
20:52If somebody left that group chat I would immediately call them I would immediately text them and say is everything okay
21:01I'm not saying that's why I did it
21:03I'm not saying I left the group chat so somebody could reach out to me and ask me how I was doing I left the
21:07Group chat because I wanted space. I have a message for Whitney
21:11Oh
21:16It's no secret obviously I care about what people think about me
21:20And it's almost like I feel like people take advantage of that they know that I'm going to care
21:25So let me make sure that I post a picture on social media and make sure that Whitney's gonna see it like I like those
21:31Are the thoughts that go in my mind this is exhausting?
21:41Where's my husband when I need it mom talk has really helped me grow so fast
21:46I'm launching a business called baby mama
21:49It is a line of natal supplements for women who are going through their motherhood journey
21:54I am the breadwinner in my households, and I crave like success. Oh my goodness. What made you want to do it?
22:01Just like I think even doing IVF because I saw this um
22:05Same sex couple with their surrogate and I was like oh, that's like their baby mama
22:09Like it's like in my head. I'm like wait. That's a cute name
22:12I'm like technically covers carrying the babies kind of like your baby mama
22:14So we're doing a photo shoot for it showing that it's for mothers and their motherhood journey, and I invited Taylor
22:20She's been disconnecting from the group lately, and I really want to bring her back in and make her feel comfortable
22:25She's also pregnant, which is perfect for my brand so it's a win-win
22:33I
22:35Did not invite Dakota, I'm not happy that he's here
22:38This is for women number one and number two he likes to follow Taylor around like a little puppy dog
22:43It's like she can't do anything by herself
22:53There's like a baby in there like forget sometimes look at her boobies. They're so big right now
22:58Oh my gosh, my boobs are huge. They are your little strap is coming
23:02I remember it and I was like you should have a talk with Dakota. Yeah, that's why I brought her today
23:08I'm a little blindsided by Taylor asking me to speak to Dakota at my photo shoot. It's pretty clear
23:14I don't like Dakota, and there's also been rumors all over social me that he's cheated on her girls are on my tik-tok saying
23:20Oh, he was just like with my roommate last week or no now
23:24I'm like I don't know if I can trust you you know Taylor if you found out today that Dakota lied and actually slept
23:28With Jenna that night, would you leave him even though you're having his baby?
23:34100,000% would be dead to me
23:35I love Taylor, and I obviously want to be a good friend to her
23:38But I've made it very clear that I do not trust Dakota. I do not want to talk
23:44awkward
23:46You
23:53It's bad timing okay, just because I have to help direct. I have to focus. Yeah, I can't focus back to have an intense conversation
24:01Macy and Dakota buttheads, so I wanted Dakota and Macy to talk because one I love Macy
24:07I think she's a good loyal friend and
24:09Obviously, I love Dakota and want them to see eye to eye because they're they're both just wanting the best for me
24:14I think and so I don't see why there's like this issue between them
24:18I'm done. I have a conversation, but I feel like we should do it a different time
24:22I can come over tomorrow because I have to drop something off to you anyways
24:26Yeah, I can come to your house if that works. Yeah, yeah ready for me now
24:31Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it girl
24:34Oh
24:36Yeah, give me like super spicy cute fun, okay good
24:41So cute bring one hand right there. Tell me no. Yes. Yeah like that. Just like that and for me. It's so cute
24:49Oh
24:58You look so pretty too
25:00Yeah
25:03Good yeah, yeah, look at my stomach is contracting right now. Sorry the baby's stressed. She's like why is this lady touching me?
25:11Hey, I need a ticket video of this
25:14I was just gonna say if maybe you could take like a few pictures of this one
25:20Like professional, you know, yeah
25:26Dakota is out here trying to get free photos at my photo shoot
25:30He's out here taking his shirt off acting like a weirdo like I paid for this
25:34It's for my brand like this isn't just some like one-off thing. Just get it nice and close
25:40He's certainly not getting any bonus points of me. So we'll see how this talk goes after Lilo's divorce party tomorrow
25:45What if you put your hat backwards like I might like that vibe better
25:52Okay, that's perfect
26:15I
26:20Wanted to celebrate this next chapter of my life and
26:24Make an otherwise super sad thing of divorce a little bit more happy and celebrate it with the people that matter to me most in life
26:32Just get everyone together and kiss my last name. Goodbye
26:35I
26:46Was looking everywhere for Leila I was like, where is she I look over and I'm like, is she in a freaking coffin?
26:51No, she's not
26:53Taylor can't come into here. Oh, she can't even step but she can't step in a bar or a club. I
26:59Have never been to a divorce party. I
27:02Can't say I personally would have thrown a divorce party, but Leila is definitely one of my closest friends
27:08So I'm excited for this new chapter in her life where the F is Leila
27:12I have been here for 30 minutes and I haven't seen her. I have no idea here
27:16So I bet she's gonna make like a grand exit. Okay, as a joke. She just ripped off a wedding gown wedding gown
27:23Yes
27:26Oh
27:28My gosh look what the hell is she doing here?
27:38I'm actually surprised to see Whitney here to be honest
27:41It's very bold of her to show up, especially after leaving the group chat and not confronting any of us
27:49I'm glad Whitney showed up
27:51I do want to give her a chance to you know, talk through her feelings and if she's willing to do that, why not?
27:59Winning and I'm actually I'm surprised she's coming
28:01But I'm also happy that she's not like running away from the group and running away from the issues
28:06she's having with people and that she's making an effort to be a part of the group I
28:10Feel weird. I feel like everyone's being so weird
28:14Well, yeah, I mean didn't you leave the group chat and everything?
28:21Even though the girls trip was an absolute nightmare. I wanted to show up for Leila
28:25I wanted to support her be there for her, but I was a bit upset because at the girls trip
28:31Jesse had mentioned something Whitney will hear information and she gets close to certain people and we kind of felt like it's a rotating door
28:38It kind of feels like there's different people that get to be close to Whitney if she wants to know the information
28:43Because it benefits her. That's what the group consensus has been and I want to talk to her and figure out what this is about
28:51Take a picture. Yeah, I want to take a picture, but I
28:55Also want to make sure that I want to greet them
28:59Yeah, I don't know if I can sit in this I'm not gonna hi guys it's a bit tight
29:03She looks very done in I love that dress
29:07Do you want to open this chase?
29:12Yeah, I think that is what you can twist these off I know a trick actually sometimes you can just feel perfect
29:21Yeah
29:26Show those guns, let me try one more time
29:28There's got to be a bottle opener because there's like one on every table. I'm just ripping the table this here. I'll go get one
29:51Oh
30:00In this next chapter, I honestly just want to find myself
30:04I feel like I've been through a lot in my life. I've never put my focus into myself
30:09So I truly just want to find what makes me happy and fills my cup up
30:13She's single
30:19I'm happy to see Leila so empowered now Leila still so young and I feel like getting divorced so young, too
30:25It's good to see her be in the position to start taking care of herself. I love the veil
30:29It makes me think about with Taylor situation and probably the pressure that she's feeling to get married being pregnant with Dakota's baby
30:36So I hope she's still taking care of herself as well
30:39Hey, should I go get Joe go get Joe for that? I want to see you guys interact
30:43I just want to vibe him out. I got good feelers, you know, guys
30:48Hey, Joe, you know Leila, right?
30:51Joe wants to take you out. Oh
30:54This just became a whole group affair. I know not the first time for this group
31:00Well, let you guys get to know each other
31:03This is awkward with us
31:06I'm ecstatic for her
31:08Leila has never had an orgasm and I hope that she never settles for a man that is not willing to prioritize her
31:16happiness and
31:17Pleasure ever again. You look great. Thank you
31:20Whitney is wondering why just to say that comment, you know when he was in the closet
31:24And she said you hang out people and use them and then you drop them. Yeah
31:30But then she apologized after does she not know so clearly she feels that way yeah, I don't want to know why
31:42Hi, baby girl, how you guys doing?
31:49Oh come with me me. Yeah. Oh
31:54Someone's drinking tonight. I know I got my wine. Okay, so when
32:00When we were at the girls trip and to me basically it attacked me. Yeah. Yes
32:05Yeah said something like when Whitney gets close to someone they use them and then they move on
32:10Yeah
32:12So from what I've heard from the group and this is all coming from just things I've heard and observed like from everyone
32:18Yeah
32:19You've been really close to Jen and then she's like, oh and then she kind of drops me until she needs something again
32:24Leila said the same thing
32:25Maybe it's not coming from like a vicious place
32:27But it sometimes feels like oh, I'll play with this toy till I get bored and I have a new one
32:32You're having issues with everyone in the group. So for me, I'm like it where there's smoke there's fire
32:35I am not having issues with everyone in the group
32:37Who else am I having an issue with you and Taylor have had issues you and to me are now having issues
32:41It just feels like that keeps happening
32:44The reason fucking me and Demir having issues is because she said a very fucking personal thing in my life before that happened
32:50The whole fight happened. Yes
32:52So what was that it like what triggered that because I feel like you guys
32:55It triggered it because I told Jen how she felt about her. That's what triggered it
32:59See and that's another thing people think is that you're just very quick to tell what people are saying
33:03Yeah
33:04And so it makes it hard to like trust you like so we can we can call people white trash
33:08Too Mormon II doesn't want to be around you and that's okay
33:11No, I think when I tell that when I took but then why why are we all still like so mad at me?
33:18Nobody yeah, nobody fucking asked me. Yeah. How are you doing? Nobody fucking called me and asked me why I left the group chat
33:28Everybody went to fucking me. See if you have an issue of why I left and fucking call me
33:32Yeah, I saw that this is you leaving. The chat was a little passive-aggressive
33:35Was it like a test or like what like no, I if someone would reach out or like what we said?
33:41No, it wasn't a test. I didn't want to see it anymore. I want it out. That was me protecting myself
33:45That was me taking control because last week was was an absolute fucking nightmare. Yeah, I get that I get that
33:50But I also just feel like again you leaving a group chat of all of us
33:54It made all of us feel I guess I just have such a different perspective if somebody left the group chat
33:58I'd be like, are you okay? And it's what's wrong. You are the person that reaches out. I don't want to anymore. Holy shit
34:04Yeah, you think I'm using you I thought I'm you
34:06I
34:14Know that things are tense right now
34:16But I just want you to know that like what I've said and heard about you is based off of opinions of the whole group
34:21Wendy and Jesse are getting it like going at it really like Whitney's crying. I'm not inserting myself in another situation
34:28I'm not supposed to be in though. I'll find out later work it out tacos. I
34:33Think the problem with this group is we're all saying things behind each other's back and you think someone's your friend and they're really not
34:37Because I'm telling you every single person in our group has said something about you minus Macy. I will give her that
34:42She's really loyal to you. I feel like a fucking idiot right now. Why cuz like what the fuck is going on?
34:48I don't feel like everyone's pissed at me, but clearly I'm wrong and it fucking stings it it right in the heart
34:55Stop right in the heart. I want to leave. No, you can't do that. I'm telling you
35:01Attention everyone. Thank you for coming to Leila
35:06I'd like to raise a toast. Thank you
35:09Thank you everyone for coming to
35:12Leila Wessel's funeral
35:15After my talk with Jesse, I'm just like did you want me to hurt that felt like you wanted me to feel pain?
35:21Not because you cared about me because you wanted me to hurt well can fucking rats because that fucking hurt
35:26I just wanted to say that I'm extremely proud of the mother that you are like, this is so stupid
35:31It's exhausting at this point ride the wave babe, because it's a lot. I feel like I'm in high school
35:37But I know you can handle it and I'm excited for you to step into this new life Whitney
35:45That you are stepping into it's gonna be a journey and I'm here for all of it. So, love you
35:51I
35:56'm just so fed up at this point
35:58Here I am questioning like I don't even know if I want to be friends with you women and it's like well
36:02Sounds like you feel the same way. You're not even sure if you want to be friends with me
36:06You don't want me in the group. You think I'm using everybody fine. Peace out go figure it out yourself
36:21I saw you guys make it out
36:28I don't know what Jesse said to make Whitney leave so suddenly, but that's not good. I
36:34Do worry about mom talk and at this point maybe mom talk won't survive
36:52Oh
36:53Hey, can't you juggle? Yeah, can we show me? Hang on Taylor?
36:58You gotta do three two in this hand. And so all you do is you just cross them
37:03You just make an X the whole time. Oh, really? Yeah, but you're not doing anything with like, what is the third one?
37:08Yeah, so it just it fits in the rotation. So
37:14There's more than an X like you're just crossing all it just hits you
37:18It's the baby
37:22Macy's coming over by the way. Oh, she is. Yeah, you want me to leave?
37:26No, why don't we leave? Well, I don't know. Do you not want to be here? Well, no
37:30I just I mean like you're just hanging out with Macy. You want me to just kick with Macy, too?
37:34Well, actually, yeah, because this would be the perfect time for you guys to you know, clear the air
37:39You guys eventually have to we do so much together and it's just this awkward thing between you guys
37:44I'm not gonna start anything. But like if she wants to start something with me
37:47There's something I'll be like talk to her. There's something already started
37:51You guys can just talk about it. Let's say you have yo Mace. What's your f-ing problem do that?
37:59No, I'm gonna do that that's how I'm gonna start I did invite Macy to have a conversation with Dakota
38:05I'm about to give birth and I really just want her and Dakota to clear the air
38:09Oh, look who it is!
38:11How are you doing?
38:13That's so nice of you, thank you for getting me that gift. I'm like, oh here here's some fertile gummies. I'm getting here
38:20Postpartum gummies. Yeah, I do think Macy and Dakota are able to see eye-to-eye on things
38:26I don't necessarily if they'll ever be truly fans of each other deep down
38:30But yes, I do think we can make things civil and honestly if we all just want the best for each other
38:35I don't know why we can't just have that mutual agreement
38:39Oh
38:42Well, just say it now say what well, what were you gonna say nothing? Oh, I'm confused
38:52We just need to have a combo it's a simple no, I agree for me it's been this like built-up thing of like
38:58Resentment towards you. It's not like I don't like you as a person because clearly and when we're together in person
39:03I'm like, oh fine. Yeah, and in the beginning
39:06I do feel like I was on your side and then
39:09After a while, I feel like Taylor would come to me and vent to me and be like, hey
39:12Like he's doing this or he or sometimes we'd observe it
39:15like we were at a
39:16Wedding once and she's like, oh Dakota's pissed at me and like she showed us some of the messages and they're very harsh on your
39:21End and I think you said you're like why say it back to him?
39:24but then there's times where like I think I don't want to maybe I was projecting my past because I'm like
39:29Okay
39:30Like I used to say the same thing to my friends though to like excuse the behavior
39:34Because I was like didn't want my friends to not like the guy was dating. I
39:38Feel like I am so protective with Taylor and her relationship with Dakota because I see a lot of science in Dakota that I saw
39:44In my abusive ex-boyfriend. There's a lot of things that he did verbally emotionally physically that were big red flags
39:50Although it's not as severe as the relationship. I was in I see those red flags and it scares me
39:55And so I want to do my best to protect Taylor because I don't want what happened to me to end up happening to
40:00As time went on and I'd hear more fights or different things I'm like, I don't like him
40:05And I think for me, it's a mixture of like my past and seeing similar. I'm you're nothing like my abuser
40:12Let me just put that straight. So you're not thinking I'm calling you an abuser
40:15Yeah, thank you or anything like that because I want you to think I'm doing that but there's been similarities with like jealousy and possessive
40:21Yes, and like sometimes emotional abuse with like language and things where I'm like, that's not okay
40:27All I hope is that you do just want what's best for us
40:31No, I do and like so I think it was hard because like if you're still feeding into her ear like be done with him
40:38Like in this situation, like I think that that's like really hard for me because I have someone that's like really putting
40:46Something in between us like making things even harder for us
40:48If you guys are solid nothing that like I say or other people say like should ruin that
40:53I don't know like I feel like there's just
40:55Stuff that I have like major trust issues with it's like hard to progress to like into marriage and stuff
41:01And I feel like because of our beginning it's where it's like pushed us back. Yeah, like I am terrified and
41:07you want me to be like
41:09there
41:11I'm like ready. I'm just I'm like not
41:14I'm not there
41:24You
41:29Like you came in my life and I think I trust you
41:33to be a good person to know me and you were you were a good friend, but
41:38the lies in the beginning that I
41:41Asked you not to do
41:43There were just more things that came out that hurt and I'm not over it. I
41:50Met Dakota and I
41:52Done the whole shit show thing. I want to start fresh. I want to have a good relationship. Just be honest with me
41:57Three weeks in we're like getting closer. He's spending the night. We're like sleeping together. I asked him
42:01I was like, hey, do you want to hang out?
42:03He goes like I'm hanging out my guys tonight and he sends a picture with him and all his guy friends
42:06I was like, okay awesome. Have fun tonight again. We're still not dating
42:09But then later in our relationship, he told me that that night you went off and hooked up with a girl
42:14like I feel like he came in and hurt me and
42:17I'm angry at him because I
42:20Love him, but I'm not ready to give in to him
42:24Like I'm still not healed to this day from the lies. You told and that like he chose
42:30like someone else over me and I think you're like
42:34Hey, like it's a different spot in me where I just I didn't feel good enough
42:39And I still don't cuz I'm like if I was good enough you wouldn't have done that to me. I
42:44I feel bad because it's like been a long time. You're having a baby and um, I
42:53Can't get over it I can't get over it. I've been honest that I'm not ready
42:58To progress because I'm scared something else is gonna come out. But do you blame me?
43:07I
43:08Mean I'm just gonna say like but you've also self-sabotaged almost this entire relationship as well being in this like you're not in a relationship
43:17Yeah, it doesn't matter. You can be in a relationship with someone and not be in it and that is where the whole issues lies
43:23It's like I don't know what you're want from me either
43:28Even during that the talking stage like again like she also told me like hey
43:34You can go date whoever you can hook up with whoever and you don't have to tell me
43:42You lied though, I got simple that I handed up at another girl's house hooking up with her
43:47You're thinking I like did this so intentional to you. Nothing was I don't think it was intentional
43:52I think that don't tell me you can't hang out cuz I guys know you end up at a girl's house hooking up
43:56That's the point there. Oh, okay. Sure. I get what you're saying
43:59But I'm just don't get it cuz that's what we still fight about you weren't my girlfriend
44:03What did you expect me to think but how you're treating me as insane someone through I found out
44:09I
44:10Planned on hashing things out with Dakota and it turns into the two of them fighting. This is crazy
44:15I do not feel like I should be here seeing this
44:18Okay, well, are you upset because he lied or you've said cuz you feel like he chose all girl
44:23Are you both that that's the one both of them dating two girls during that time?
44:29That's not gross though and you taught to date two people no to take out me all week lied to me and then
44:38Yes, yeah sure and this is after I found out that he fucked a girl the night before he fucked me for the first
44:43Time I think what surprised me the most was when Taylor said you went after girl the night before me
44:48Then you F me all week and then you have someone else. I was like, whoa
44:52There's a lot of bad thing going on here. You're like wondering why won't you marry me? Why are you not ready? No shit
44:57I'm scared that there's a third person. I have a baby with I
45:01Could still be with you want to be with you. I don't have to want to marry you for good reason
45:04I don't trust you. I'm trying to make this work with you Taylor
45:07I want someone who's actually in it with me and wants to work through things and fix things and get to a good place
45:13That's all I've ever asked from you. I've never asked for you to forgive me right now or to have full trust in me
45:20I just need you to actually feel like you're on my side and
45:24wanting to do this together
45:26Especially given the situation now, you're about to have a baby my first baby
45:34All I've ever that's what I'm saying, I want like you to feel better
45:37I want to work through these things Dakota wants to get married. He wants to take that next step
45:42he so desperately wants to be in the happy family and
45:46Married, but I think it's frustrating for him because he has this pressure from our religion of getting married
45:51Especially when you get pregnant out of wedlock, I'm willing to work through anything
45:54I made it very clear that I didn't want to get married because I'm not ready
45:58I'm not there yet
45:59I want to trust Dakota, but I'm not getting married cuz I'm having a baby and as a couple
46:04I actually have no idea where we're going
46:10Going to Vegas for Layla's birthday. Are we gonna talk about what we're doing?
46:25Is that hot Connor and I have talked about homesteading for a really long time we want to farm copper. Holy shit
46:32There's a difference between running away and just removing yourself from a toxic environment
46:37So I have a secret and at this point I feel like I could tell somebody she finds out and the baby comes
46:43She would probably divorce him
46:55Joseph
47:12Everybody's