Amberlynn’s YouNow live stream starts off with her telling us how Destiny is going through some things when someone simply asks if she saw Destiny shaved her head. She counts the ways she has improved over the last year or so on both hands. Becky sits in on the session and addresses the Italian ice Eric picked up for Amberlynn and the Sprite and crackers for Becky. The two explain they have been sick and they aren’t cheating on their diets. This leads Amberlynn to say that doctors usually don’t live a healthy lifestyle even though they know how to do it. When the subject of how Amberlynn treats Becky when the B monster takes over, Amberlynn assures us it wasn’t as bad of a situation as it might have sounded and that Eric was present to hear it. Someone in the chat brings up Amberlynn’s past behaviour towards her partners which has Amberlynn shook so bad that she addresses the comment, opening up a world of trouble for herself. Amberlynn reveals that on September 23, 2016 she recorded a video but did not release it regarding all of her ex Kasey’s lies told at the beginning of their relationship. She says she wishes she didn’t open up about her past relationship by releasing a video, but it seems she might be more upset that her ex saw the video months later and recorded their own video telling their side of the story. We look back at the original video Amberlynn released talking about her past with DV and clips from 2024 describing her recent relationship with Wifey being not very different from her past. We hear from both parties how they met online, Kasey stressed being a child at age 15 talking to a 17 year old Amberlynn. When Amberlynn turned 18, Kasey 16, she flew to Arizona to go to an Anime convention with Kasey. The plan was to stay for 2 weeks but some sort of misunderstanding between Amberlynn and her family back where she was staying in Oklahoma had her staying with Kasey for about 2 years. She shared a 1 bedroom with her partner’s mom and mom’s boyfriend and slept in the living room with Kasey, switching between the couch and the floor. Three months later for Kasey and six months later for Amberlynn, is when things started to change. Kasey tells a story of a time Amberlynn used her claws to establish dominance and we see that it’s not unusual for Amberlynn to go through her partner’s phones to contact their friends. Kasey’s defense to Amberlynn’s laundry room story is that Amberlynn never did her own laundry. Amberlynn accuses Kasey being highly strived leading to unwanted interactions between the two. Their stories blur when they describe things they would do to each other that could have been perpetrated in the same manner by the both of them, using the same tactics to hurt each other. Something Amberlynn says Kasey didn’t do was call her names when angry. Amberlynn says she was falling out of love with Kasey and started to talk to Krystle online, not looking for anything more than friendship.
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00:00Uh, that's up to Becky to tell you if she drunk soda. Yeah, she did in the new way and um, she didn't say that she did
00:00:06Which is either gonna go up tonight or tomorrow one. Did you see destiny shaved her hair? Yeah, I did
00:00:12She called me last night and we had a long talk cuz she's going through some stuff right now
00:00:16But and then she's all you eggman or something like that. She'll bring an egg. Yeah, she called the egg
00:00:20Oh
00:00:25Hey, how's your leg does Becky not find it weird you being friends with destiny
00:00:29no, I mean destiny are so like really close like we're really good friends, and I hope that never changes and her and
00:00:36Becky and destiny are also friends and it's just
00:00:40So much hate today because nobody's ever happy with anything that I do
00:00:44It's just funny because I remember last year a lot of people were like you get hate because you're not healthy
00:00:49You don't take your weight. Seriously. You're not losing weight. That's the only reason why you get hate and I'm over here like
00:00:54Taking my weight seriously
00:00:56Eating healthy drinking water cooking my meals
00:01:00exercising
00:01:01Uploading a lot making my videos longer because that's what people like. I'm actually doing through weigh-ins
00:01:07If people are still unhappy, I'm like, yeah, this is all within their own damn self like something's wrong
00:01:12Damn, so have you and Becky talked marriage? We have
00:01:17Not in like that sense, though
00:01:21Where we should do a cook with me and a mukbang, I don't know if I do a mukbang maybe like a
00:01:26couple seconds of one um
00:01:28But yeah
00:01:30We don't
00:01:35You're gonna come sit over here and talk oh
00:01:37I don't know if they're gonna be able to hear you
00:01:49I was waiting for you to say that it took a minute. Neverland. You were just using your current weight for views
00:01:55No, I'm trying to get my journey out there and if it gets me in trouble, I'll be like, oh, I'm sorry
00:01:59I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
00:02:02I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
00:02:05No, i'm trying to get my journey out there and if it gets me views too cool because it's my job
00:02:10I mean what the fuck? Okay. I asked for sprite and crackers. No ice cream. There was no ice cream. What are you talking about?
00:02:17Italian ice cream
00:02:21What but yes, I asked for sprite and crackers because when you can't keep anything else down
00:02:27You're gonna the doctor tells you drink sprite eat crackers. So
00:02:32Not apologizing for it, but I do have um, halo ice cream. Oh, that's what I wanted tonight
00:02:39Oh the peanut butter kind. Okay. Um
00:02:42Eric literally says he got it in berlin italian. Us. He did lindsey
00:02:47Yeah
00:02:50Someone's like lyric eric literally said that he got her italian eyes. Yeah
00:02:54Italian eyes is not ice cream. Literally. Oh my god, literally frozen
00:02:59Oh my god, literally frozen lemonade
00:03:04Yeah
00:03:07I was one of those. Oh my god. I was so sick. A doctor will never tell you to drink soda
00:03:11I have for one have been told to drink sprite while being sick when you're sick
00:03:16Even oh my god when we went to the er last time I was sick. He even said that
00:03:20He said get some rest and drink sprite. They're gonna hold on even whenever I was a child like moonshine
00:03:25Your kid a little piece of moonshine
00:03:29Like i'm like i'm sorry but doctors like they know everything about ends and onto the body, but if you see them eat
00:03:35They're unhealthy. Just you know, like i'm not saying all doctors. Oh my god people are gonna twist that so bad
00:03:41But doctors don't learn a lot about like nutrition stuff
00:03:45Nutritional. Oh, they do say that you can also substitute
00:03:49Uh, I don't like
00:03:53Oh ginger ale tastes like vomit
00:03:59Oh, thank you
00:04:04My doctor told me ginger ale, yeah ginger ale was disgusting they said ginger ale or
00:04:09Sprite I told you this would happen because you're like
00:04:14I was like, well
00:04:16Yeah, we said we didn't care
00:04:22I haven't seen you all day
00:04:30Rafe rafe's doing good. She gets her pets vaccinated
00:04:34She does with what what pets?
00:04:36I mean what?
00:04:38What vaccination?
00:04:39He's never come down to talk for more than two hours. Okay, stop. Let's not do that. Okay
00:04:44No, that never happened she's never hit me
00:04:47Wait, what?
00:04:49But he wouldn't drive a l to mcdonald's. So I'll punch her
00:04:54Tell me how I react to people who
00:04:58Who are like who like spank their children gently? How do I react? How do I act to people?
00:05:05spanking their pets gently, how do I react to any sort of a
00:05:09abuse
00:05:11That she freaked out and I didn't scream at her either actually eric was very lover
00:05:15Yeah, I was just asked eric for soda and dr. Pepper
00:05:21Oh my god, no, sorry
00:05:23Pretty soon. It's gonna be like becky you asked him for sprite. Dr. Pepper ramen noodle
00:05:32Spaghetti afc. Oh mcdonald's. Oh, yeah, we saw the taco bell like
00:05:39Someone literally just asked about the halloween pumpkin so I got run away
00:05:43Wait, what?
00:05:46Oh my god, we're not talking about I can't believe how some people can
00:05:54That literally scares me that people believe that that scares me
00:06:00That no, we do not have the pumpkin
00:06:03They're gone, yeah, there's mine i'm gonna save him forever until he rocks or do we get the necklaces we got those at hawk, uh
00:06:12hot topic
00:06:16Blocking because that scares me so bad that people believe that destiny said that you
00:06:22Me and destiny are like on the verge of like best friends like me and destiny are very good friends. That is not true
00:06:30God people are so annoying. Like I swear to god. They'll like all they used to oh, you're so fat
00:06:35you need to go on a diet and it's like now that i'm like
00:06:38I'm telling you all if amberlyn hit me
00:06:40I'd dump her
00:06:42If I hit someone would die
00:06:45Like that is sexy. That is
00:06:49I'm like, i'm not on here to address negativity
00:06:53That's annoying
00:06:54This is going so fast, do you understand they say things they know are fake just to get a rise out of you. Yeah
00:07:00I I have noticed that I have they do say things that are fake, but then people start to
00:07:06Believe those things and they become like this bigger
00:07:10Commotion for nothing like it just sucks. Can you borrow my hat? No, thanks
00:07:16I love this thing. I wanted it for a really long time and I kept telling myself. No, I don't need it
00:07:22And then this one found out that I wanted it and I got it for christmas
00:07:25So it was probably my one of my most favorite christmas gifts ever. That's because I listen
00:07:31And I know what you want and like, yeah, yeah my destiny for a second, whatever
00:07:37If you pretend like you're gonna hit someone, of course, they're gonna flinch. Oh god. Yeah
00:07:42But I was too focused on blocking that person me and that tiffany girl used to be friends really
00:07:48Mm-hmm
00:07:50but
00:07:50She has a pathetic sad life. So I think she decided to join on the hatred
00:07:55Am I verbally abusive to you? No, I feel guilty for because it's not me when i've been
00:08:03like becky has been there when I and
00:08:07She tries to help me
00:08:09Sorry
00:08:11I'm like I get mad
00:08:14I got mad
00:08:15because
00:08:16Obviously, I don't drive
00:08:18and
00:08:19I don't even know if this is something I want to be honest about but it's like
00:08:24I just get very angry if I don't get my way during a bit. I feel like i'm
00:08:29Being possessed by somebody because it's not who I am
00:08:33and I remember after the
00:08:35which was
00:08:38I regret it, but I remember after the
00:08:41Becky was like you were really mean to me because I kept saying no
00:08:45And I was like, I don't even remember that i'm not
00:08:49like that like when i'm not
00:08:52Do you get what I mean?
00:08:54and I just feel bad and it's like
00:08:58I don't know like i'm upset that I did that but then it's like i'm also proud that it's only been twice this month
00:09:06I mean, yeah, we both get really snippy with each other
00:09:09We actually talk about this in um the way in video though
00:09:12The conversation went completely weird and random, but you're I feel like single people don't understand relationships, obviously
00:09:20I don't understand because it's like
00:09:23If you're in a relationship or you're married or something, like do you guys not argue?
00:09:27Or are you guys just prim and proper?
00:09:30Constantly trying to be like the perfect like sculpture for your partner
00:09:34That's a fake relationship. That's not real
00:09:37Let me fuck i'm trying to over what I was talking about. I just pretty much said, you know
00:09:43You know it happens in a relationship can you okay, can you kind of explain
00:09:50to them
00:09:51the situation
00:09:55Because it's like people think that me okay, let me explain the situation because i'm just like
00:10:02Oh
00:10:04I don't really want to talk about it. Like
00:10:06You know like 100 but i'm just gonna have to because people literally are assuming everything. Exactly. Okay. Um
00:10:16Wait, what exactly what she say just because casey made some accusations mean they're true exactly. I think that's the most
00:10:27I think it's really i'm gonna show you guys something
00:10:32I'm gonna show you guys something. Okay, if you guys remember when the casey thing, um went down and happened I became
00:10:41very
00:10:42very depressed because
00:10:45I opened up about something that was 100 true
00:10:47Rape rain and petals eavesdrop. I used the wrong word
00:10:52Rain and petals eavesdrop. I used the wrong word rain and petals eavesdrop
00:10:57I used the wrong word my mental hygiene has been rotten and stirred knowing what you did and saying you didn't
00:11:04Such a lovely story
00:11:06And i'm coming to tell you that she completely lied
00:11:10And so I sat there and made this whole
00:11:14other video
00:11:16on september 23rd
00:11:192016
00:11:20That is
00:11:22How long is this? Wait
00:11:2422 minutes and 29 seconds long
00:11:27talking about
00:11:29Everything that casey lied about when we first started dating
00:11:33The things that I went through while being with her more things. They're all freaking out because you keep going
00:11:41I'm, sorry when I when I was with her cassidy was I was with her
00:11:47I yeah, I was with her
00:11:49As a girl, so i'm talking about casey
00:11:51The girl that I was with but that's who she was
00:11:55um
00:11:57But they know her as casey so it's confusing it's confusing trust me
00:12:02But I decided not to post it, but I still have it like you guys can tell this is from my old apartment
00:12:12Obviously, I don't dress like that anymore. I still have that
00:12:16and
00:12:17I told myself I was never going to talk about it again
00:12:21I wasn't gonna talk about it. Um
00:12:24On youtube. I wasn't gonna talk about it on twitter. I just wasn't going to um
00:12:31Ever talk about it again because nobody was going to believe me. I think it's very sad that we live in a life
00:12:39where
00:12:40Someone can share their story and all it takes is that one person to be like
00:12:45No, I didn't I didn't do it and then everyone believes them
00:12:49So
00:12:50It's like is this why people literally don't talk about the things they've been through
00:12:57It makes
00:12:58no sense
00:13:00Like it makes absolutely no sense
00:13:03that
00:13:04you guys believe
00:13:06this wild wild person
00:13:09It just it makes no sense that you guys
00:13:12Honestly, I don't because i'm sitting over here best friends with crystal who is my ex i'm sitting over here
00:13:18Super super good friends with destiny who is also my ex
00:13:22Do you think that if I ever ever ever ever ever like ever?
00:13:27abused
00:13:29cassidy
00:13:32That
00:13:33because when people abuse someone they
00:13:36They abuse several times
00:13:38And I would also abuse crystal. I would have abused destiny. Do you think that crystal and destiny would still be my friends?
00:13:45I I think i'm just like speechless. I don't really I don't know
00:13:50Do you think
00:13:52No, but it's like so frustrating because
00:13:55Oh my god, are you kidding?
00:13:57Thank you. Lou is like lou is like one of my best friends the whole world
00:14:02What?
00:14:04Okay, it just sucks like
00:14:06And it's something I talked about to eric privately to becky privately to destiny privately
00:14:13Crystal was there to witness it physically the things that casey put me through and I wish
00:14:18I wish so badly. I'm, sorry, baby. I wish so badly that crystal wasn't as shy as she was because
00:14:25She's told me before I would love to make a video
00:14:28But I just can't because she has a really bad social anxiety. What would casey have to benefit from lying?
00:14:34What would abrilynn have?
00:14:36Are you kidding?
00:14:39Are you kidding?
00:14:56That's a hundred percent true, so why are you picking casey's side?
00:15:01Amberlynn, I've talked to destiny. I've talked to crystal both the most wonderful people
00:15:06She has freedom them great. It's just relationships come to an end
00:15:11She
00:15:12Said a name
00:15:14That she shouldn't have said
00:15:16I told her I was like if I would have been with you. I would have told you do not name names
00:15:20The thing is and then if cassidy would have stepped forward and said well, why did you know? I didn't name you
00:15:25So why are you kidding though? I'm sorry for interrupting you. I'm so fucking bad at that
00:15:30I'm fuming the thing is if I was lying, I would have never said her name. I would have
00:15:37ever
00:15:38Said her name if I was lying
00:15:41That already is a bad choice. I would have been like so this one girl
00:15:45I was with and I would have made the story a lot more fucking entertaining really was
00:15:51it's just
00:15:52I don't know. It's just not
00:15:54it's not fair and this is something I deal with all the time because you google my name and
00:16:00the shit
00:16:01Accusations and it just fucking sucks because I should have never
00:16:07Done the story time. I should have never opened up everything in that video was such bull that I can't even I can't even
00:16:17Describe the bullshit that was in that video
00:16:21can't even
00:16:23Eat a hamburger
00:16:25Okay
00:16:26No intro
00:16:28No, nothing like that. No funny business. I was told by my fiance while she was at lunch for work that
00:16:34Someone messaged her on facebook and it was a link to a video
00:16:38Well, of course she had me call her because it was a very private matter. It was a video of my ex
00:16:44My ex amber and I asked her what about it?
00:16:46So I was curious why about this video and I was like, what is it?
00:16:51My fiance told me that she's calling me
00:16:54an abuser
00:16:55and
00:16:59That got my blood boiling because that's not true 100% not true
00:17:02It hurt a lot and I asked her when did she post this video? It was back in may
00:17:07Well, I didn't know see I don't she told me she had a youtube video. I didn't care to know
00:17:12Whatever, you know, it was her life. I didn't want to get involved in her life. Our life is not
00:17:18on the same track anymore
00:17:21But for this video to be posted it pissed pissed me off
00:17:26to no end so when
00:17:28when
00:17:30My fiance got home. We watched I had to pause a few times to calm down
00:17:35Hey you guys, so I wanted to make a video about something that I
00:17:39I haven't really talked about really
00:17:42I'm, sorry if this video is like all over the place
00:17:44I'm not gonna edit it or anything because I can't my editing system is just not working
00:17:50so
00:17:51I was recently
00:17:53talking to someone who
00:17:55Had no idea that I was in a relationship before they told me
00:18:00how
00:18:01Girls who say in a relationships are just lazy and that they like to be abused now
00:18:08I from firsthand witnessed
00:18:10My dad my mother my whole childhood. I know she was in foster care. I know all this stuff
00:18:17I do jade was verbally
00:18:20To her there were knives involved she claims that she had to pull a knife out of jade's hands
00:18:25She got a knife and was throwing it in my face and saying she was gonna stab me. I was like, all right like
00:18:31hair pulling to the point of
00:18:34Wads of hair would just come out in his hands. She tore up jade's work desk. I witnessed my mom having a broken nose
00:18:42She slapped jade. Amberlynn did tell me that she has hit jade before
00:18:48Uh broken teeth
00:18:50She choked jade
00:18:52Bruises upon bruises and there has also been a few broken bones involved jade had like pushed her to the floor
00:18:59And then flipped on her because she landed on jade's clothes basket
00:19:03She did mention one time that they were fighting and amberlynn slapped her and I guess jade like pushed her
00:19:10And she fell to the ground amberlynn obviously couldn't get back up by herself
00:19:15And she said jade didn't come to help her right away and that was all coming from my father
00:19:20I knew it wasn't right as a little girl
00:19:23um
00:19:24Felina and I have broken up. It was mutual
00:19:26Did jade and amber really have a mutual breakup or did jade initiate the whole thing personally?
00:19:31I just think jade was fed up with everything and
00:19:34Was like I don't really care about the narrative that you tell your audience
00:19:38I just want to get the f out of here
00:19:41I tried my hardest to defend my mother towards him. It was impossible. He's a big guy really strong
00:19:48He's like six seven and i'm just this little girl
00:19:51Throwing fists at my father's back trying to get him to stop and I couldn't I told myself I will never never never
00:19:59Be with someone who lays a hand on me. I always questioned why my mom stayed with him
00:20:04Like what was the point and she'd always say because I love him
00:20:08And I would be like, why do you love someone that you know
00:20:12Is you my first true
00:20:14committed relationship?
00:20:16um, i've had a lot of like random relationships like
00:20:20Don't even consider them though. But like my first like live-in relationship was with a girl named cassidy. I feel very um
00:20:29strongly
00:20:30About this and I feel like it's okay for me to say her name
00:20:33Because she's transgender now, so she's not cassidy no longer so i'm able to say her name because she's a once
00:20:42Was person like cassidy is no longer here anymore, obviously
00:20:47I'm, not gonna say
00:20:48His new name because we're talking about her if you guys are wondering. Yes. She is now a he and um
00:20:56Now I did try to come out to her as transgender before and she just did not have it she was mad about it
00:21:02I remember that because when I tried to tell my other ex
00:21:06I mean that didn't go over so well neither, but I didn't know how to word it
00:21:10So when I went to go tell my fiancee
00:21:12I was scared to death. Why?
00:21:15Because of the way amber acted when I tried to tell her
00:21:19I was in a freaking
00:21:21when
00:21:23Uh
00:21:25i'm trying to calm down
00:21:27Transgender talk is too confusing. So we're just gonna leave it as that. Um
00:21:31so her name was cassidy and
00:21:34It was first long distance and I was living in oklahoma for a bit of that time when it was long distance
00:21:41By the way, she lived in arizona, but when I first started talking to her I was in california
00:21:45But then I moved to oklahoma when we started started dating. I was 15 years old 15 when we met
00:21:52She's two years older than me. We were together from the time. I was 15 to the time
00:21:56I was 18 years old. That is a pretty long time for a teenager
00:22:00I mean, yeah, there's high school sweethearts, but that's a pretty long time like we were in love thoroughly in love
00:22:06Um, we were together for I want to say about a year and a half before I went, you know
00:22:12Went there and like stayed with her for a month
00:22:14So when I first met her in person it was in california because me and my mom
00:22:18Went to california visit my nana and she lived in california
00:22:21So she came and visited for a little bit, which was cool. We had a good time, you know
00:22:24It was some good time. You know, I was 15. I was 15. We had a good time
00:22:28Oh, no, I was 16. Sorry because my birthday passed when we were first dating. I got a message from her upset
00:22:35She made out with a girl while we were dating while she was still in california
00:22:40three times
00:22:43Did I get mad
00:22:45I got upset but I was 15
00:22:48So what am I gonna do forgive forget you're my girlfriend
00:22:52I was a child, but I met her online at 15. I met her in person at 16. There you go
00:22:59Well, you know we only stayed a week in california we had to go back well, I mean it wasn't bad
00:23:04I mean we're relationship wasn't bad. We talked a little bit. It was pretty good
00:23:09You know, it was fine in the beginning and I was going to arizona for just a month to um
00:23:15Visit her, uh after after meeting her it was in july after meeting her for the first time in july in california
00:23:22Um, she was going to come down for a month because I was gonna take her to an anime convention stay a month
00:23:28Whatever. She was supposed to go back
00:23:29I was there for like two weeks and I called my mom and I was like, oh my god
00:23:33I miss you so much, you know, because I was living with her my grandma at the time and
00:23:37on the phone she told me
00:23:40Your grandma said you can't come back to oklahoma. You can't come live with us and I was like what like, where do I go?
00:23:47I was really scared
00:23:49I had literally nowhere to live
00:23:52And cassidy's mom was pissed. I never heard the conversation on the phone
00:23:57But as far and but this is one of the truths one her
00:24:01Grandmother said she couldn't come back. I was
00:24:05I was 16 at the time. My mom was mad because I think she knew right then and there she's gonna have to take on
00:24:11like me
00:24:15Because I had nowhere I didn't have a job because I was in arizona just for a month
00:24:19So I didn't have a job. I didn't have anywhere to go. I had no car. I had nothing
00:24:24and I just got done being in a foster care, so
00:24:28I was like
00:24:29Oh my gosh, like because being in foster care like you're very like taken care of in a sense, you know
00:24:35Like they always make sure you have a roof over your head and stuff like that and I was like, oh my god
00:24:38I'm 18. I don't know what i'm gonna do
00:24:41And this whole thing but cassidy's mom let me live there and it was a very small apartment
00:24:45I'm talking like I think it was like 450 square feet. There were like no doors
00:24:51Um cassidy and I ended up having to use the living room as our bedroom
00:24:55She I mean we didn't have a lot of money when she's talking about her small apartment
00:24:58We didn't have a lot of money. We were poor
00:25:01It didn't have a bedroom door. It was like a studio with like a wall breaking off the uh,
00:25:06Living room and bedroom, but we didn't have money. We didn't I didn't grow up with money
00:25:12So that's all we could afford so she had a 16 year old to raise
00:25:16Plus she was just getting into a new my mom was just getting into a new relationship
00:25:20And then all of a sudden there's someone else that's there that she needs to
00:25:23Make sure to feed. Yeah, it made her mad, but I
00:25:26Thought for amber to be there because she didn't have nowhere to go now. It was because of me that she stayed
00:25:33my mom didn't want to but what was wrong is her mom didn't really stand up to her own mother, but
00:25:40you know, it was whatever I fought for to stay and I wanted to be homeless it was
00:25:44you know
00:25:45I felt that was the right thing to do. It was just
00:25:48It wasn't good, but I was so happy. I was like, oh my god. I'm gonna live with my girlfriend
00:25:51like we're so in love it's like so amazing and
00:25:56I felt blissful in a way
00:25:58If that's the right word to use like it just felt really good. We got along really well then after about
00:26:05I want to say six months or so
00:26:06It was probably three months three four months after we started living together things started, you know
00:26:13Kind of changing and shifting. I don't really know if I want to like go into like grave detail
00:26:18We were up one night I was watching something on tv music video, I believe
00:26:24and uh
00:26:27I don't remember why we argued. I don't I don't remember the argument, but she grabbed my arm
00:26:36With her nails first time
00:26:40any physical
00:26:44That was negative
00:26:46And I remember that clearly
00:26:48It shocked me
00:26:50It shocked me really really bad and it was just I didn't know what to make of it. Really i'm 16 years old
00:26:58I didn't know what I mean. I knew what physical
00:27:02Was but not really
00:27:04So, I mean I was a kid. I was a child. So I just assumed okay
00:27:09I made her mad
00:27:11I mean when I when I would get my mom mad she'd spank me or she'd like, you know
00:27:16You know get my ear or like, you know the things a mom would do a dad would do, you know behave, you know
00:27:23But so that shocked me but nothing really happened a little while after that
00:27:28So I was just whatever. Um, we still loved each other a lot. Um after six months we'd been together for over two years and
00:27:37We were living together and this and that and I noticed we started arguing a little bit more
00:27:42Just over stupid stupid stupid stuff like I could tell you that right now one time when I was getting ready for school
00:27:49Amber went through my phone
00:27:52Want to know how I know that?
00:27:54I got went to school. My friend cj sees me punches me in the arm. What the fuck did you give amber my number for?
00:28:02What
00:28:03I didn't give amber your number you don't like her. She don't like you
00:28:06Why should she have your number used to go through her phone periodically?
00:28:10Like while jade was in the shower
00:28:12There was one day where she had started pretending to be me and text messages
00:28:18I had had a group message with eric and ricky that we had had for years
00:28:22We had had it long before i'd even known who amber was
00:28:26She was mad that she wasn't added to that one that she had been added to a new one that we created for all four of us
00:28:32So she was pretending to be me asking for her to be put in
00:28:37Our old friend group one from years ago. They automatically knew that it wasn't me. They could tell that it was her
00:28:47Shows me
00:28:50My friend out and I texted amber the fuck is wrong with you
00:28:54What the hell?
00:28:56Why are you messaging cj? How did you get her number? I went through your phone while you're getting ready for school
00:29:03Okay, that's messed up that's slow i'd never do that to you. Yeah
00:29:08that happened
00:29:09and
00:29:11I still remember the first time
00:29:13She ever got physical
00:29:16We had a laundry room
00:29:19in the apartment complex we were living in and we were walking to the laundry room and
00:29:24I remember back then I would do our laundry for us. I didn't really like people touching my laundry
00:29:28I still really don't but I let destiny do it because
00:29:32I trust her but
00:29:34I had this weird thing of like people touching my laundry, whatever. So
00:29:37Um, she was helping me carry
00:29:40I guess laundry to the laundry room. I don't remember
00:29:43Really what we were arguing about but I know it must have been like really stupid probably about the laundry blah blah blah
00:29:50And
00:29:51She was carrying
00:29:53Her clothes i'm pretty sure I remember and I was like carrying mine
00:29:57and then
00:29:58I'm, I want to say this happened
00:30:01It's been like six seven years so
00:30:06Memories are kind of like fade in here and there but I do remember us being on the sidewalk
00:30:11And I remember her dropping what was in her hands and she took me by the throat
00:30:16And she started yelling at me. Now. The thing was she said with the laundry. That's a big false
00:30:21big false
00:30:23Want to know how I know that because me and my mom would do her laundry me and my mom would go do laundry
00:30:28She wasn't getting up to do laundry. She maybe did it a couple of times handful of times probably counted on my one hand
00:30:35She didn't do it all the time at all
00:30:38and me
00:30:40dropping
00:30:43The bag and choking her I never ever did that ever never never never
00:30:51I I mean, what's the reason for me to do that?
00:30:54I mean, I I didn't do it
00:30:58And I don't know where this story came from. I didn't do it at all
00:31:03I was like what?
00:31:05and I think
00:31:07at the time
00:31:08What shocked me the most?
00:31:10Was the fact that she was doing it in such a public place like there was nobody around that I remember
00:31:15and like I was like
00:31:17Crikey, like she literally was having me by the throat just like screaming at me
00:31:23And then you know she let go obviously and
00:31:28I think I was so shocked and so numb to the situation
00:31:33That I kind of just let it be
00:31:35Honestly, that is the truth
00:31:37I didn't ever
00:31:39Think twice about it. Like oh my god, is she gonna start like accusing me?
00:31:43nothing like that, which is weird because of the childhood that I came from right but
00:31:48We just went on she never really did that again
00:31:52She would randomly like pinch me if I made her really mad
00:31:56And I didn't even think anything of that then either. Honestly, I didn't at all and I want to say
00:32:03We've been together for about three years now at this point and I feel myself
00:32:10slowly
00:32:12I stopped being like socially attracted to her
00:32:14Specially attracted to her
00:32:17I loved her though. I know that I don't know if it was like a best friend thing
00:32:22But I stopped just feeling that like connection, I guess so
00:32:26When it came to intimacy, I want to say about a little bit after like two
00:32:31Years of being together. It started to dwindle
00:32:34It was definitely my fault
00:32:36This is when things got really bad. Um
00:32:41I don't even know how to share this but i'm gonna have to
00:32:44Um destiny knows all about this by the way, like it's something like I really needed to let her know about me
00:32:50um, okay, so cassidy was very sexually
00:32:53Strived like is that even a thing? I don't know. She really thought I was attractive
00:32:58She really was sexually attracted to me and she always wanted to like have sex
00:33:03and I stopped feeling that for her like I didn't tell her that I would just like make up things like
00:33:09Oh, I don't feel good or oh
00:33:12I'm on my period like even though I wasn't and just little things like that and
00:33:16It made her fucking pissed when you say no to someone whether you've been with them for like a month or whether you've been
00:33:22Been with them for like six years
00:33:25If you say no to a sexual act your partner should accept that
00:33:30That is where I firmly stand, but she didn't she would literally sit there and beg me at first. It was like cute little
00:33:36Begs like oh, come on, baby, you know, whatever but then as time gradually went on
00:33:41It became you're gonna fucking touch me whether you like it or not
00:33:46and I was like
00:33:48You can't force me and little did I know she can um, I damn well did not
00:33:56I did not
00:33:58Her
00:34:00Period r-a-p-e rain and petals eavesdrop. I used the wrong word. That's when she started punching me a lot
00:34:07She would she would aim for my belly
00:34:10Um, I don't think she ever actually hit me in the face. Her favorite spot was my stomach
00:34:15She would punch me really hard in my stomach. She punched me like around right here a lot
00:34:20She'd punch me on my arms the places. She said
00:34:23About being hit those were on me. Those were the exact places. She hit me
00:34:30I was the one being abused
00:34:33And I will say this I may I may have laid a hand on her a few times that was in self-defense
00:34:39I didn't do it. I went to school with bruises up and down my arms
00:34:45bruises
00:34:46My friends asked me
00:34:48What's wrong?
00:34:50What happened to you? Eventually they figured it out
00:34:53So every time I would come to school upset in tears
00:34:58Bruised on my arms hands cuts scars
00:35:04Amber again
00:35:07Shrug didn't say anything
00:35:09They figured it out
00:35:10My mom figured it out later on but i'd have to hide it from her
00:35:14Why because I didn't want her mad. I didn't want her upset. I didn't want her to worry about me
00:35:17She had so much other things to worry about
00:35:20So I didn't say anything
00:35:23Maybe I should have
00:35:25And she would continuously do it until I agreed to make love to her or have sex whatever you want to consider it
00:35:32Um, so not only was I being physically abused but I was pretty much being like
00:35:40that is what I consider it because
00:35:42I continuously would say no to her. It was such like a bad just like a bad mixture of everything
00:35:49This would go on
00:35:50This would happen probably weekly
00:35:53um
00:35:56Here are the tears I was trying to be strong for this video
00:35:59A lot of people would ask why didn't I hit her back?
00:36:04Why didn't I leave her in that? You know in that?
00:36:08stance
00:36:09I loved her. Um
00:36:11And I would be like, why do you love someone that you know abuses you at the time? I was confused
00:36:17I didn't love her like as a girlfriend. I just loved her as a person. She was that first true relationship I was in and
00:36:24We had such amazing times that I just felt like maybe one day she'll stop being like this, you know
00:36:31Maybe one day she'll stop forcing me to have sex with her one day
00:36:34She'll stop hitting me as many times as I felt like
00:36:37Okay, maybe things will change. It just kept getting worse and worse after that moment
00:36:41Not only was she hitting me because I wouldn't have sex with her
00:36:45She was hitting me if I wouldn't do the dishes on time
00:36:49She would push me up against counters
00:36:52and
00:36:53one thing
00:36:54she never did was she never like
00:36:57Called me names
00:36:59Never and I was like living in that like moment of sticks and stones may bake our bones
00:37:05Words will never hurt me type of thing where it's like, okay hitting people blah blah blah
00:37:10But if like she started emotionally hurting me then I should leave I was just in a very unhealthy situation
00:37:17As time went on I really wanted to leave
00:37:20Um, that was when I met crystal
00:37:22Um online it just kind of fatefully happened. Like I was not looking for relationship
00:37:27I was in a relationship me and crystal became really good friends and
00:37:32Then I started realizing like crystal is what I need in my life
00:37:35Not cassidy cassidy is abusive and not only is she a physically but she's abusive like sexually and that is not okay
00:37:43She would talk. I mean she made a lot of people online. I hate to say she says that
00:37:48She made friends with crystal. She wasn't looking for anything
00:37:52Let me clear up some things for you between that time frame before crystal. There was another girl
00:37:59Another girl while she was with me. Her name was page or something
00:38:03I know was a four-letter name that page girl. I'm just gonna call her page because that's the name I remember
00:38:09That page girl sent her money sent her walmart gift card
00:38:13She sent her things. Yeah while she was with me
00:38:16And why did she send her things because she made me look made me out to be a monster made me
00:38:22Look like a monster. So she thought she had to play superhero
00:38:25And save amber when she didn't even know what the hell was going on
00:38:30at all
00:38:31Well, not in one bit and then I don't I forgot why her
00:38:34page
00:38:35broke up
00:38:37Not really broke up
00:38:39But like stop talking. I think page got tired
00:38:42honestly
00:38:44And then she met crystal now. She was talking to crystal
00:38:48About
00:38:50Six or seven months before we broke up. No, actually probably longer than that
00:38:54Probably almost a year talking to her almost a year before me and her broke up me and amber broke up in 2011
00:39:01So while crystal was talking crystal bought her
00:39:04So many things we were together
00:39:06so many things
00:39:08I mean
00:39:09The one that stands out because it's the most messed up one most messed up memory was the freaking
00:39:16Ipod touch
00:39:18The second generation one god, I can't believe how far to come. But anyway, that's a different story. She was on the phone with her
00:39:25Like it there was an argument starting and i'm just like what like what the hell's wrong?
00:39:30So she goes outside talking to her comes in. I made her cry. What happened?
00:39:33What what made her cry what the hell and she was telling me how crystal was gonna buy her an ipod touch
00:39:41And it was the argument was over how much gigabytes it had
00:39:46Seriously, she was gonna buy her a pretty low gigabyte one at four eight
00:39:51The standard gigabyte and she got mad
00:39:54Because crystal asked do you want this certain gigabyte or the 32 one, you know the highest one?
00:40:00And she told crystal asking me that is like asking if you want a pink purse. She was so rude about that
00:40:05It wasn't just I mean she went off after saying the pink purse thing
00:40:09She went off on this poor girl
00:40:12And made her cry because crystal asked a simple question
00:40:15Do you want this x amount of gigs or the highest one and amber was so disrespectful about it?
00:40:22crystal crying
00:40:24She bought her
00:40:25over
00:40:26It was over two hundred dollars
00:40:28Over two hundred dollars. This girl is spending on amber that's not even with her yet
00:40:34And she's like that seriously
00:40:36It's like whoa, you should just be grateful for what you're getting why are you being like this?
00:40:45She was ungrateful. That's how I see it. It was very ungrateful
00:40:49Making someone cry over a damn space on a freaking ipod touch
00:41:06I remember one time particular when um, we weren't
00:41:11Arguing about anything like sexual or whatever. I don't remember what the argument was
00:41:17I know her mom was home
00:41:19Um, her mom was in her room very small apartment. So we were like arguing and whispers like so she couldn't hear
00:41:25But i'm pretty sure she got the gist of it because cassidy started hitting me really hard
00:41:29It was probably one of the worst
00:41:32ever
00:41:33And I was kind of just like, you know
00:41:37blocking myself or at least trying to
00:41:39And cassidy's mom came in
00:41:42And all she said is cassidy. What are you doing? And then walked away the whole time. I lived there
00:41:48I really hope there was a moment where cassidy's mom would see
00:41:51I thought maybe she'd be my hero and like somehow changed the way cassidy treated me
00:41:56I thought maybe you know her and I would become closer because she saw it was an abusive relationship because me and cassidy's mom were
00:42:01Never close. She didn't do anything about it. Oh, yeah to answer the question of like, why didn't I ever hit her back because I
00:42:10My brother used to hit me a lot when I was a teenager when I was like 16
00:42:14My brother is a year younger than me
00:42:17But he's strong like he might be my little brother, but he's my big brother, you know
00:42:23And um, he would hit me a lot and I know it's because he has anger issues
00:42:27he saw how my dad was with my mom and this and that and um,
00:42:32That's just what he did
00:42:34and he
00:42:37Would emotionally fuck me up in the head he did a lot like
00:42:41I felt like my own brother hated me for a while there, but that's a whole other subject victim
00:42:46That's all I see is someone playing victim her little brother
00:42:49Yeah, he may have been a little aggressive towards her. He may have done all that, but he did love her
00:42:55He did love her. He didn't he
00:42:59I've seen text messages between them
00:43:01We were together. He missed her. He loved her. He was sorry
00:43:06I know that doesn't excuse anything. I mean, but she says she wants to forgive and forget
00:43:13The first person she would need to forgive and forget is her brother at that time
00:43:16But when he first started hitting me, I would hit him back for like self-defense
00:43:20and it just made him more angry and more mad and
00:43:26The punches got worse the bruises got darker
00:43:30And I didn't want that with cassidy I was scared I was way too scared to hit back so I never did one time
00:43:37When my mom and dave were out, I don't know why we argued but I was put on the bed
00:43:42She wailed on me beat me real bad. I remember this clear as day. There was our bed was in the living room
00:43:50next to the bed
00:43:52Was a dresser in front of the dresser was a table between the table and the bed was her over me
00:43:58Wailing on me. Did I fight back? Nope, not that time. Why because she kept calling me
00:44:03So I just took it. I took it then she took off outside
00:44:07To the bus stop and I just laid there like what just freaking happened. What just happened?
00:44:14I didn't even know at that point. I was 17 years old. I didn't know what happened
00:44:18I forgot. I don't know what the argument was. I just know I got beat i've gotten hit before
00:44:23Um, I think what drew the line with me and cassidy was um
00:44:28Her and her mom this was like one of the worst nights in the world like I can't even
00:44:34Okay, cassidy was mad about something. She pushed me up against the counter
00:44:38um, she got a knife and was throwing it in my face and saying she was gonna stab me and I was like, yeah, right like
00:44:45um
00:44:46And then she started really hitting me like in my chest and kind of like in my boobs cassidy's mom came out
00:44:52And blamed it all on me and then cassidy's mom threw this like big clear ashtray
00:45:00Marked my hand several times destiny and her siblings
00:45:03They would get very mad at mindy because of the way that she would act while drinking
00:45:06I remember when I said this isn't up to you. This is up to me
00:45:08Whatever it may be mindy got really mad and she said you know what then I want you to leave
00:45:12She was like kicking me out. I remember she went all the way upstairs
00:45:14She started grabbing my perfume and I think she threw like two down the stairs to my perfumes
00:45:18I started screaming because it's like I felt so much trauma
00:45:21This was very much like wow. Okay. So this is how my dad used to act
00:45:24It was so much and it was all because I was just sitting there with destiny expressing
00:45:27Do I want to do youtube or do I want to do this job or do I want to do both?
00:45:29It was such a simple conversation that I was having with my partner and there was already so much animosity
00:45:33In that home. I was trying so hard to move and I wanted to just I wanted to move long story short
00:45:38I said something that I can't remember if destiny can remember I would love for her to share that if you guys remember
00:45:42Where destiny's mom like beat me up and there was something I said
00:45:45I actually used to have an online journal. I went and found I wrote about the whole situation with destiny's mom
00:45:50When she beat me up beat me up
00:45:52I don't remember what I said that made destiny's mom like attack me in that journal entry
00:45:56I actually put what I said
00:45:57I told her that I hated her because of everything that she put me through my mom ended up getting
00:46:02Physical with amberlynn. That's where the kick-up holder comes back
00:46:06They're kind of slapping around at each other that kick-up holder was sitting on the stairs for us to take upstairs or whatever
00:46:11That's probably the best one for me and amberlynn have been wanting one and this is only a dollar 59 at the goodwill
00:46:16So I can't believe how cheap that is like what?
00:46:18Uh
00:46:19My mom came back with it and hit her over the head with it. It was
00:46:22It was very traumatizing for me
00:46:27It hurt so bad and in that moment I was like
00:46:31Why am I here? What am I doing? And the thing about my mom throwing?
00:46:36a glass
00:46:37Astrea her head. No
00:46:39Uh-uh. She was very disrespectful to my mom. She threw a glass cup at my mom
00:46:46It shattered on the wall there was still a hallmark when they moved out because of that because of that
00:46:51She was very disrespectful to my mom. My mom never did any of that ever. She never laid a hand on amber
00:46:58She would get mad and yell
00:47:01Because of how disrespectful she was being
00:47:03But she never laid a hand on amber ever never ever. Well, never never never
00:47:11Did she lay a hand on her?
00:47:12For for a little bit there. I I kind of felt like I was trapped in a cage
00:47:17I loved this girl, but I didn't love her right everything about it was unhealthy. It is so hard to describe the only
00:47:24people who can feel
00:47:26this way and understand what i'm saying is people who have been in an
00:47:31Relationship it is
00:47:33as much as like your boyfriend or your girlfriend will hit you you still love them and it's it's it's
00:47:40it's so unhealthy and
00:47:42I just want to tell you guys
00:47:44firsthand
00:47:46That if anyone emotionally hurts you socially hurts you
00:47:50Or physically hurts you don't stand for it. Don't because it ruins you and
00:47:59Through everything like you find it so hard to trust people and it's so hard to open up
00:48:05and you have this like guard up that could really just
00:48:09Mess up your world
00:48:11Just it's not
00:48:13good
00:48:14You start to kind of accept the love you think you deserve it. I promise you so much that you deserve
00:48:20So much more
00:48:22Than what you're getting
00:48:24Nobody and I mean nobody deserves to be hit
00:48:28By their boyfriend or girlfriend or their wife or husband
00:48:32Nobody I feel like a lot of the time since I am a lesbian like abusive relationships
00:48:37And like the lesbian community aren't as what's the word for it?
00:48:41aren't as like
00:48:43Oh, no
00:48:44compared to like if you're in a heterosexual relationship, but it's just the same like or if it's two guys like you should not
00:48:51be hurt like
00:48:54God i'm, just so grateful that I left that unhealthy environment. I just want to say crystal never physically hurt me
00:49:01um
00:49:02Destiny never physically hurts me and I feel like that is
00:49:07the most
00:49:09precious gift that's sad to say but
00:49:13I've been through such freaking hell, you know in my whole life that
00:49:17you know being with someone who actually doesn't want to hurt me that feels awesome because I feel like
00:49:24Every kind of relationship i've been in my life whether it be like with my brother or like a friend
00:49:29I feel like whatever it may be
00:49:30they've they've hurt me in some type of way and it's almost like they got off on it and enjoyed it, but
00:49:38i'm stronger than that and I know what is right and what is wrong and I
00:49:45Will learn a lot. I have learned a lot being with cassidy. I don't even I mean she came to me after
00:49:52freaking three years of not talking
00:49:55Three four years of not talking
00:49:57I get a random message from her one day after her and crystal broke up and i'm like, why are you messaging me?
00:50:02Why are you messaging me because you were an important part of my life and I said at one point
00:50:08Not anymore. I don't know why
00:50:10She felt the need to message me
00:50:12That her and crystal broke up seriously. I don't know
00:50:28You
00:50:37A few messages after that
00:50:50My mom had a boyfriend I mean
00:50:53My mom's boyfriend and her and amber didn't get along
00:50:57there was a lot of
00:50:59Fights. I defended amber. I defended her fully without a second thought. Does she say that?
00:51:05No, does she say how I defended her against?
00:51:08Everything else that was put her way. I lost friends over defending her ways. No
00:51:14Why?
00:51:15Because she wants to play victim and I tried to
00:51:19Help her with destiny
00:51:23Whatever thing
00:51:27You
00:51:31But I mean I wasn't told
00:51:34Why they broke up I didn't care to know I just said hey just be honest with destiny whatever whatever be honest with her
00:51:39About how you feel your worries or whatever, you know worried about her breaking up with you. Whatever
00:51:44Whatever it was. I still have the messages
00:51:46See this this video that she posted it hurts deep because I would never do that ever I grew up around the beach
00:51:53Not as bad as she did obviously
00:51:55But I mean my mom's ex-boyfriend would
00:51:59do you know
00:52:01not
00:52:02the highest degree, but it was still
00:52:05I never
00:52:07Wanted to be like that
00:52:08Ever like that's wrong
00:52:11It's wrong
00:52:13I'd never do that to somebody ever posting this video probably like an hour or two after I saw the video
00:52:19I couldn't post it then because
00:52:22No, and this this video would have been bleeped out I was just mad now i'm
00:52:29I'm still mad. I shouldn't lie. I'm still mad. I'm furious
00:52:35But i'm not posting this video to make her look bad i'm posting it to tell you this is
00:52:42Not this was not me
00:52:45This was not what happened when me and amber broke up
00:52:48I was distraught because that was the first serious relationship I ever had. I was 18 at the point
00:52:53When we broke up I was so messed up from the abuse the mental verbal
00:52:58That I had to see psychiatrists. I had to
00:53:01Go and see psychiatrists because I was having anxiety attacks every day. I couldn't even be in my classroom
00:53:08I would ditch and I would go read in the freaking bathrooms because I couldn't stand to be around people
00:53:14I just wanted quiet. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to exclude myself from everybody
00:53:17I had such
00:53:19Mental issues from being with her that I ended up for a weekend from friday to monday in a mental
00:53:27hospital in a mental hospital
00:53:29One place I never even thought i'd ever go that freaked me out. I made it worse. It didn't even help me
00:53:35It was scary and it was horrible because it was I was 18
00:53:38So they had to put me with adults and boy, do you never want to go there ever?
00:53:42But that was it I was so messed up from her i'm still messed up from this you call my name across the room
00:53:50I flinch
00:53:51you raise your hand like you're
00:53:53Like if you're reaching something near me, but I think you're gonna hit me. I flinch and
00:53:58Ur of anger
00:53:59Because my fiance's frustrated with something I flinch and I just drooled and i'm sorry
00:54:04But I flinch because I think she's gonna hit me
00:54:08And she's not
00:54:09But i'm so messed up from this that every little action that looks like it I could get hit
00:54:14Or looks like that. I would get in trouble
00:54:17I flinch
00:54:20I can't I don't know how to deal with it
00:54:23I'm, so screwed from it and it hurts and it sucks and i'm sorry this video is so long but geez
00:54:29I don't know what to I mean
00:54:31it hurts
00:54:33to
00:54:34Have her make me out to be some monster
00:54:37When I haven't had anything to do with her really for six years
00:54:48Six years we've we've we've broken up. I didn't talk to her for the first three
00:54:53First three I didn't talk to her and then it went bad
00:54:56It probably been the most we've talked I could add it up in freaking minutes and it's probably
00:55:02a good 30 minutes conversation in all of six
00:55:05Years and she posts this six years ago i've been over it i've moved on I have a different life
00:55:12I have a better life
00:55:14From that. I know you're not supposed to I know you're not supposed to say you regret anything, but I do regret that relationship
00:55:20Full-heartedly
00:55:21Immensely because of everything that happened in it. Yes. We cared about each other at one point
00:55:27But I don't even care to even be her friend
00:55:30At all I don't care to be her friend I don't care to talk to her
00:55:33I just want to be left alone. I just want to be left alone and I want her to quit trying to destroy my life
00:55:40Quit trying to make yourself look like a victim
00:55:42but she acts like the world owes her stuff and I hate to say and I hate to sound mean i'm not trying to
00:55:48Bash any of you guys who are in foster care are a bad life
00:55:50But the world doesn't care what you went through you are literally a all I mean
00:55:56I'm literally a little bacterial speck on this earth. You be truthful you rise above
00:56:02What you were put through and you don't bash anyone six years later
00:56:06You don't continuously make yourself look like a victim. That's what I did after me and her broke up
00:56:11It took a little while. I was heartbroken, but I took all that pain and
00:56:17And all that I stomped it in the ground
00:56:20And I rose above it. I let it go and when I let it go my life became better
00:56:25I'm, not so scared anymore. I'm, not messed up in the head anymore. I won't let anyone do this to me anymore
00:56:31I have a beautiful fiancee that I love I have a little stepson that I love to death
00:56:37We're on our own. We're making it we're surviving
00:56:40I'm planning to do stuff with animation. I'm doing youtube because I let all the negativity go
00:56:46That's what you need to do. Don't get views on lies get views on truth
00:56:50And that was not a truth and that was ugly
00:56:53Very ugly and I don't
00:56:55And I hate to say this, but I never wanted a video like this on my channel
00:57:00But looks like I had to my hand was forced. I don't I mean
00:57:04Yeah, I was dumb. I was I admit that fully being with her as long as I was I was so dumb
00:57:11so dumb
00:57:13Because I don't I don't really care what she does in her life. Her life is hers. My life is mine
00:57:18We've moved on it's been six years. It's been
00:57:21A long time six years since I was with her and we talk on facebook here and there
00:57:27and
00:57:29Things are very different. I mean me and amber broke up six years ago, and I don't care to have contact with her
00:57:36Yes, she's messaged me and tried to add me on facebook
00:57:45I won't add her i've added her once before we tried to be friends
00:57:50It didn't work out when she started trying to add my mom and my best friend and I asked her why and we got an argument
00:58:08Yes, we did love each other at one point but she's she went as far
00:58:13When I would hang out with my best friend alex
00:58:16She's been my best friend since high school god, we're like it seems like we're related so we call each other cousins
00:58:22but
00:58:23I would hang out with her
00:58:26She would be okay at first
00:58:28And all of a sudden I get text messages an hour later bitching me out for hanging out with her
00:58:33She went as far as to accuse me of sleeping with my best friend
00:58:38Accused me of sleeping with my best friend
00:58:41I'd never do that ever. No, I cannot sleep with my best friend. That's weird and awkward and no
00:58:48But
00:58:49I couldn't understand this. I couldn't I couldn't understand why this girl that I cared about at one point was
00:58:56doing this
00:58:58I couldn't
00:59:11You
00:59:21Just like you know what I can't do this this is
00:59:24You know, I can't I can't even be your friend at all
00:59:27I can't you know, you're trying to add all these people my facebook that you argued with and try to keep me away from
00:59:35When we were together so, you know, but she's trying to add me I won't
00:59:39Add her she's messaged me. I won't really respond. It's very short
01:00:09I
01:00:12Don't want to say I regretted it
01:00:14But the things that happened afterwards I kind of regretted our whole entire relationship
01:00:19I hate to say but I do regret our whole entire relationship. I do
01:00:24and
01:00:25um, she
01:00:27Regrets everything she did but i'm kind of at that point where I might cry about it now
01:00:34But i've healed
01:00:35I have but it's definitely like memories that make me sad
01:00:38but i've healed from it and i'm stronger because of it and i've learned because of it and I know
01:00:43That the bad in my life made me wiser and i'm able to key into people more
01:00:50I'm rambling but just know that if you're in a relationship, you're not alone
01:00:54I've been there and you deserve so much more for yourself. And I just figured i'd share the story
01:01:00With you guys because that is a big part of my life that I went through me and cassidy were together for four years
01:01:05before I was like
01:01:07Closing the door i'm done. So and that also goes for like if you were forced in a relationship to have sex that is not okay
01:01:14Not okay, and I will consider it
01:01:17Because it does not matter
01:01:20At all that if we were in a relationship or that were lesbian
01:01:24She forced me and a lot of people can question. How is that possible? It's very possible
01:01:31and
01:01:32it made me feel so like degrading and gross and grummy and
01:01:39I'm done
01:01:40but
01:01:41Um, I just figured I'd share this with you guys and I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I know it was like very
01:01:47Crazy and it's not normally something I upload onto youtube, but I want to try
01:01:50You know sharing more about my past with you guys to make you understand a little bit more of why I am
01:01:55Who I am today, so
01:01:57I'll see you guys in the next video. Bye
01:01:59Now i'm gonna wrap this up that's that's all i'm gonna that's what i'm gonna say about this
01:02:04All right. I hope you guys have a beautiful night if it's day where you're at
01:02:08I hope you guys have a beautiful day and never ever ever let someone slander your name never if you know
01:02:17Something's a lie you rise up and you tell them the truth the truth of
01:02:22What happened?
01:02:24I'll be wrong is wrong. Don't let anyone do that to you
01:02:27Even if you think you love them, even if you think they love you
01:02:31Don't I regretted staying through the beach?
01:02:35If I could go back in time and slap my 15 year old self, I would have a good night guys
01:02:39Have a good day if it's day where you are
01:02:41Be good to yourselves
01:02:44Bye
01:02:54You
01:03:20Behave whatever