Revelations and Secrets - Pt.1
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🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hi, I'm Moke Halipa. I'm better known as Boricot, and I'm a transgender content creator.
00:08Growing up when I was a kid, I felt to myself na medyo malambot ako, as in medyo girly nung bata pa ako.
00:18And kasi ano eh, my mother and my father broke up.
00:24Nagulamaki ako sa mom ko, so nakikita ko yung puro mga girly things.
00:29And pagwala yung mama ko, sinusuot ko yung mga damit ko, yung mga high heels, yung mga makeup niya, ginagamit ko din.
00:37And minsan nanguhuli niya ako na gano'n nang susuot okay lang sa kanya.
00:41So in my family, in my side, hindi problema sa kanila yung magiging gay or transgender ako.
00:49So I brought that up until I was in college, until I decided to be like this.
00:56But I don't undergo HRT, and I'm not taking any pills or hormones or injectables, something like that.
01:03Talagang gifted lang talaga ako ng feminine yung pisiko.
01:06Kasi may mga ibang trans, nag-e-HRT sila, which really affects their immune system.
01:13Kasi masama yun, magiging lokarat in Tagalog sila if they undergo HRT or some injectable things to make them look feminine.
01:26Para maging sobrang babae or maging soft, hindi maganda yung ganun.
01:30I advise to those gay guys or gay boys who gustong mag-transition into a transgender,
01:39wag silang mag-HRT kasi masama talaga yan. It will affect your health, overall health.
01:45If you wanted to be a transgender, just ask or consult your doctor what is the proper way to become feminine or to be feminized.
01:55Hindi yung bumibili lang sila ng mga pills o kung ano-ano para inamin nila para magiging feminine or soft sila.
02:02To look like a real girl or more than a girl in their persona, hindi maganda yun.
02:08So before you undergo HRT, mga girls, mga baklech dyan, mga akla, wag basta-basta bilin ng mga pills o magpapaturo kasi masama yan sa health nyo.
02:19Be resourceful, mag-research muna kayo bago nyo gawin yan kasi baka mapasama lang kayo or mapahamak lang kayo sa binabalak nyo mag-HRT.
02:32Yun yung advice ko sa inyo.
02:34When I was 10 years old, nagiging altar boy po ako sa church ng city namin.
02:40And manami kaming mga altar boys noon.
02:43Altar ha, hindi alter.
02:45Baka ibig sabihin nyo, uy, ang baby po niya 10 years old, nag-alter na. No, hindi altar boys po.
02:51Nag-altar boys po ako nung baby po ako. Tapos, the priest is an American guy.
02:57And every time na matatapos na yung mass, pumupunta kami sa dining area ng church.
03:05Nag-gather kami lahat ng mga altar boys, kumakain kami doon.
03:09And after that, the priest picked the boys to be with him, to stay with him in the church.
03:14And I was one of them na pinili niya, na isasama niya sa room niyo or whatever to stay for the night or for the day.
03:22And that was then na hindi ko alam na yung ginagawa pala ni father sa akin.
03:26Imanomala ko pala niya ako.
03:28I thought that it's normal to, you know, to do some things that he requested to me.
03:34Like nilalaro yung ari niya or whatever.
03:38Or yung ginagawa niya sa akin. I thought it was normal bathing together naked, ganito-ganyon.
03:44Nung nariyalis ko naman na kinako, hala, maliit pala yung ginagawa ni father sa akin.
03:50Wala ako or whatever.
03:52Pero yung other boys na kasama ko sa church noon, nung baby paan, 10-year-old ba lang ako,
03:58nag-complain sila sa family nila na minumolestya sila.
04:02But their family don't believe in them kasi nga priests are powerful in the province.
04:07Hindi sila pinapaniwalaan.
04:09So ako, kinikip ko na lang sa sarili ko yung nangyari sa akin.
04:12Kasi every time na si father may pinapagawa sa akin,
04:16binibigyan ako ng pera, binibilan ako ng damit,
04:20miniregalo ako ng mga chocolates or bagong sapatos kung anong gusto ko.
04:25And there's a situation na gusto niya ako i-penetrate.
04:31I was 10-years-old pa.
04:33Hindi pwedeng maipasok kasi syempre he's an older guy.
04:37Like in his 60s already ha.
04:39But he's very, very handsome. Napakagwapo as in.
04:44So tinatray niya ako i-penetrate but it hurts so much when he entered me.
04:50Yung ulo muna, yung ulo lang.
04:53Talagang I'm in pain and I push him back.
04:57So yun yung pinaka-experience ko ng baby pa kano worse.
05:00Until now, kitang-kita ko pa rin sa isip ko,
05:03mapipicture ko pa rin kung anong nangyari nung baby pa kung ginawa niya sa akin.
05:09But I think the priest is already dead a long time ago
05:13because I was still 10-years-old.
05:16So malangit na wa siya. Kung anong ginawa niya sa akin, thank you.
05:20Masarap din.
05:22But no, it's not good because it's really a child's situation.
05:28Nagiging pidupidya siya.
05:30But noon, nung mga time pa na 1980s, parang hindi pa ata.
05:35Masyadong tinatalk of the town yung mga ganyan.
05:40Kaya naging palihim lang.
05:42But I think until now, it still happens.
05:45Pero hindi lang nila pinag-uusapan.
05:48Kasi it's taboo, especially the religious people na rin na church.
05:52Kung involved na yung mga priest.
05:54But until now, it still happens.
05:56So the people needs to investigate or penetrate deep into it.
06:01Kasi nga, nangyari siya yung mga altar boys.
06:05And it's really happening, guys.
06:08I said you, it's really happening until now.
06:11Yeah, it opens me.
06:13Yung nangyari na yun, nung bata pa ako, it opens me a lot of things.
06:17Parang nagbuka sa isip ko yung pagiging naughty or pagiging kinky na ganito-ganyan.
06:23Kasi every time I saw a handsome daddy or a handsome guy,
06:28parang naiisip ko yung ginagawa ko with the priest together with the other boys.
06:33Parang nagbibigay na siya na excitement sa akin.
06:37But I know it's wrong legally.
06:42Kasi nga, masama yun.
06:44But at the moment now, parang na-realize ko na,
06:49ay, madami pala mga Filipino na mga priest noon.
06:53Pero ewan ko baka until now, mayroon pa din.
06:57But they just keep it a secret na lang.
07:00Hindi nila pinag-uusapan kasi baka magkaroon ng legal actions.
07:04So they just keep it a secret.
07:06I tried to tell it to my father, pero my father is a French guy.
07:12So he told me also that it happens to him in France.
07:16The same like that.
07:18But for him, it's just like no big deal for them
07:21because France are very openly liberated country.
07:24So no big deal for him.
07:26For me, I think it's laru-laru lang kasi bata pa ako e.
07:30Parang feeling ko naglalaro lang kami kasi just he cuddle me,
07:34he pampers me.
07:36Tinatanong niya ako na,
07:37Oh, tuy-tuy, you want to take a bath with me?
07:40Gusto mong ligo tayo? Ligo tayo with the other boys?
07:43Ganito-ganyan.
07:44Ako naman, si Belingget, excited din.
07:47So nung nakita, nag-shower na kami,
07:49mga iba kung kasama mga altar boys,
07:51nakahubad e.
07:53Tuwang-tuwa ako nakakita ng mga, you know, down there.
07:57And then that's the start na kinakaras na kami ni father.
08:01Pinapagawa niya kami ng mga ganito-ganyan.
08:03Which is totally wrong talaga. Hindi siya dapat.
08:08Before, I was a cross-dresser because I dressed like a girl.
08:13Pero nung nagkaroon ako ng boobs,
08:16that's why I considered myself as a transgender.
08:19You is not considered as a transgender kung wala ka pang modification sa body mo.
08:24If you're still a man or a boy wearing a girl's clothing,
08:29nag-makeup or whatever,
08:31ang tawag sa'yo is cross-dresser or a gay boy.
08:35Or a f*****. Exactly.
08:38Pero kung meron ako yung mga body modifications,
08:41nagpalagay na ko yung balakang or you have boobs already,
08:44that's what you consider yourself as a transgender.
08:47Way back then, ganda ko na lang,
08:49way back then, I met an Australian guy when I was 17.
08:54I was still working as a talent sa showgirls.
08:58It was an entertainment agency which nagpapadala sila ng mga talent sa Japan.
09:03And I met this Australian guy in front because
09:07nakatera lang siya sa hotel kaharap ng agency namin.
09:11Doon kami nagkakilala.
09:12And then a few days after that, ina-sponsoran niya ako na magkaroon ng boobs.
09:17But after a few years of relationship, we broke up.
09:21Doon ako nagkakaroon ng body modifications.
09:24Nagkaroon ako ng boob implants.
09:26Yung fake sa akin talaga sa katawan ko, boobs lang.
09:29Pero my genitals is real ha. Malaki to.
09:34Hindi to fake. Kasi mong sasabihin nila,
09:36oh baka addicted lang. No, it's not fake.
09:39It's real po.
09:47Ah, gusto mo makita?
09:51For me, it doesn't affect that much.
09:53Hindi siya parang totally may change.
09:55Parang I feel confident to myself lang.
10:00But it's not that totally confident-confident ha.
10:03Kasi mayroon ding mga...
10:04Some girls, which they are not like you,
10:07because I think you are more open-minded into this kind of thing right now.
10:12May mga girls, especially sa neighbors namin in the province,
10:15which are really insecure,
10:17kasi oh bakit mas maganda or mas sexy pa siya kasi sa akin.
10:21Ang daming mga chika-chika, mga chismes,
10:23oh ganito yan, mga ganyan-ganyan.
10:25But I don't take that thing too personal.
10:29I just shrug them off kung naririnig ko yung mga chismes or mga judgment nila.
10:34Sa akin, nag-smile ako.
10:35Ginagawa ko pa rin silang besay, hi, ganyan.
10:37Pero they're not too friendly.
10:39Kasi nga parang nao-offend sila na ganito-ganyan.
10:42Mas lamang pa yung mga trans kesa sa kanila.
10:48Yung mga boyfriends nila na-attract sa amin so na-insecure sila.
10:52Para sa akin, I prefer to have my genital kip,
10:55because having an SRS is not really advisable.
11:00Kasi hindi mo rin magagamit yan, sayang lang yung pera.
11:03It's, you know, transgenders yan na nagbabalak magpa-SRS.
11:10You have to think about it many times or a few times before you undergo SRS,
11:15kasi sayang lang yung pera niyo na gagastasin niyo to pay for an SRS.
11:20Hindi mo rin magagamit yung, for example, magpalagay ka ng vagina,
11:24it's really not useful din kasi hindi ka naman mabubuntis.
11:29Though the pleasure is there, but it's not the same pleasure as,
11:33you know, the real woman's vagina, you know, when you have a penetration.
11:38Kaya sayang lang din yung pera.
11:40So kung sino man yung nagbabalak siya na magpa-SRS,
11:43maghunus dili kayo kasi inaaksayan niyo lang yung pera mo.
11:47It's just like you're flushing your money in the toilet
11:50without thinking na hindi siya useful ati hindi siya beneficial.
11:55Kasi nga, why would you have a vagina?
11:58Does it make you a billionaire or a millionaire after you have your vagina?
12:01No, it's definitely not.
12:03It's like wasting your money.
12:05It's better to use the money in a good way,
12:08like invest, having your own land or having your own business.
12:13It's more beneficial kasi dadami pa yung pera mo
12:17kasi say papalagay mo lang ng, you know, kepay.
12:21It's not really advisable for me.
12:23I just have to keep my dick than having a vagina.
12:28I don't want SRS.
12:30For me as a trans, since I do escort before,
12:33I usually have test every three months.
12:35I have CBC, urinalysis, syphilis test and everything.
12:40Iniingatan ko yung sarili ko, I take care of myself
12:44kasi it's better to be healthy and strong and safe
12:49when you dwell into this kind of thing.
12:52Kasi iba iba yung mga sexual partners ko,
12:54hindi lang guys, girls din.
12:57I have videos, contents which are girls involved on it
13:04but it's not on my channel.
13:06It's on the other side.
13:07It's in Groovy Films.
13:09It's okay if I mention that.
13:10It's in Groovy Films which is internationally published,
13:13not here in the Philippines.
13:17What can you advise to other trans
13:20who wants to be in the BDSM community
13:24or wants to explore in the BDSM community?
13:27And not just trans.
13:28With all the people who wants to explore in BDSM,
13:31in all genders, what can you advise to them in general?
13:36Be careful.
13:38It can get pretty serious.
13:41They can do some serious damage to you.
13:44You've got to have as much control over it as you can
13:48as a submissive.
13:51Be precautious and be very aware of the people
13:54you choose to be with, you're involving with
13:57in this kind of thing.
13:59Because...
14:02Don't dwell into something which is not legal
14:04because anything could happen.
14:12You have to be very aware because
14:14there's a lot of girls online which are fakes.
14:16You might get scammed or you might get involved
14:19into frauds or something.
14:22Just be very aware and be very cautious.