Wizards vs Aliens - S3 E7 - The Key of Bones
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00:00I am Simeon of the magical line of Swan, creature of the never-saw-eye. Begone!
00:06What did it look like?
00:08Teeth like daggers, breath like a slaughteryard furnace, eyes like burning torches in deep black wells.
00:16And I knew that it knew.
00:18Knew what?
00:19That I'd used all my three spells.
00:22So quick as a bat, I leapt on its back and hung on to its horns for a day and a night.
00:28No way.
00:29What, you don't believe your old grandad?
00:31Of course, but you rode a dragon?
00:35Across a realm and a half of the never-side.
00:39By the second moonrise, we were good friends.
00:43Wow.
00:44What people don't realise, usually because they get toasted,
00:47is that dragons like nothing better than being scratched behind the ear.
00:53You ever heard of dragon purr, Tom?
00:56It's like a perfectly tuned sports car.
01:06It's great to have you here, Grandad.
01:10I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
01:23It's time.
01:24Some of these tears on the line of twilight are like clockwork, but don't let that fool you, Tom.
01:30The never-side is never predictable.
01:32Just be ready for anything.
02:03Randall Moon will be thinking there'll be a song in the mistress's heart
02:19since Simeon Swan's returning.
02:21I was never sure that I'd see him again.
02:23People don't generally come back from the never-side, do they?
02:26A pixie's pity he will not have been thinking such thoughts himself.
02:30When I'm leaping through the line of twilight
02:32and leaving the mistress alone with her baby girl.
02:34Not quite alone.
02:39I always had you.
02:41Wait and see what we've got.
02:43Moon, get that jar quickly.
02:47Hey, you two.
02:48Did you realise you left the front door wide open and the door to the chamber passage?
02:52Well, I knew you'd be there to shut it behind us, Michael.
02:55Well, that's what you're for, isn't it?
02:58What?
02:59Dad, just wait till you see what came through the never-side.
03:02Fairy lights.
03:04Aren't they amazing?
03:05Yeah, well, they beat the ones on our tree the last ten years.
03:09These are the real thing, Michael.
03:12The tiniest and most magical of all the fae.
03:15Aren't they wonderful, Ursula?
03:17You took Thomas fishing for fairies?
03:19Well, I suppose so.
03:21And suppose there hadn't been fairies coming through that tear.
03:24What if there had been another never-side witch?
03:26Or a spider-wolf?
03:27Or a horde of wraith-lords?
03:29Grant, they were just fairies.
03:31Thirty years on the never-side and you're still as bone-headed as an idiot ogre!
03:40She didn't mean it.
03:41Oh, yes, she did.
03:44It's getting late, Tom.
03:46School tomorrow.
03:48Yeah.
03:49I'll be up in a bit.
03:50No, Tom.
03:52You should let your granddad get some rest.
03:55I'll see you tomorrow.
04:09He didn't mean any harm.
04:12And we're wizards.
04:13Catching things from the never-side is what we do.
04:15I know that, but look.
04:16Simeon ran off into the never-side,
04:18leaving Ursula to bring up your mum on her own.
04:20You can't blame her for being wary.
04:23And to be honest, Tom, none of us really knows him, do we?
04:27So is that why he has to sleep in the chamber?
04:33He's my granddad.
04:48Don't let the bedbugs bite, Moon.
04:52A good night to you, Master Simeon.
05:08Now is the time!
05:10Now is the time!
05:12Yes, Elex.
05:14While the unsuspecting sleep,
05:17the dreamwalker stalks.
05:23What is this?
05:26Where am I?
05:29Calm yourself, Simeon Swan.
05:33I am your friend.
05:38The clerk has got the ball.
05:39There's nothing Christopher can do about it.
05:41The door's wide open.
05:42Don't let him get away, Quinn.
05:44Are you going down, Corky?
05:45No, I'm not going down.
05:47I'm not going down.
05:49The door's wide open.
05:50Don't let him get away, Quinn.
05:51Are you going down, Corky?
05:55Granddad?
05:56Quite a right foot you've got there.
05:58Thanks.
05:59Quinn, Katie, this is my granddad.
06:02Hello, Mr. Clark.
06:05Hello, Katie.
06:06It's a pleasure, but I'm Tom's mum's dad.
06:09I thought you said your granddad was...
06:11Granddad's been travelling.
06:13I've been the black sheep of the family, not something I'm proud of.
06:16We're here now. That's good.
06:18My travelling days are done.
06:20Wow. Is that what you're travelling in?
06:23It's amazing.
06:25I wish.
06:27No, I'm just borrowing it for a spell, so to speak.
06:31That's your ride, Tom?
06:33Like you need to ask.
06:38Like a dragon's purr, eh, Tom?
06:49What?
06:50This cannot be correct.
06:52Technician, over here now.
06:54Oh, yes, yes, yes, Your Excellency.
06:56According to these readouts,
06:58our levels of extracted magic have fallen by 500 centillion.
07:02The data is obviously flawed.
07:04Oh, no, the information appears to be accurate, Excellency.
07:07Impossible.
07:08Well, I can only imagine there must be a leak of some sort.
07:13Then find it and correct it.
07:16You forget, I have my duties now to the Lady Lyzira and her delightful bird.
07:22I forget nothing, especially how your life hangs on my whim.
07:27Isolate the fault and correct it,
07:29or I will isolate you on the cold side of an era!
07:40Oh, the next best thing to riding a dragon.
07:45Brilliant.
07:48But I think we took a wrong turn.
07:52I'll be honest.
07:55There's something I've been putting off.
08:01I want to ask you something.
08:03I know.
08:04You want to know what happened the day I went through the line of twilight.
08:08That's fair enough.
08:10Dad says you were reckless.
08:13That's your grandmother talking.
08:16But she's right. I was and probably.
08:21What happened?
08:27There was a vampire that hunted children.
08:31It fled for the Neverside and I went after it.
08:35And all I could think of as I chased it
08:38was your mother, not even five years old.
08:41And I would never let the same thing happen to her.
08:46Before I knew it, the vampire was across the line of twilight
08:50and I'd gone right on after it.
08:54One step. One step too many.
09:11One step.
09:27I hope you know how much I missed you, Helen.
09:30The smell of your hair.
09:32Your smile.
09:34Saturday ice cream when you always wanted a biscuit crushed up into it.
09:40I missed you every day.
09:45But never as much as I miss you now.
09:48What?
10:06Sancti scale. Partial defence field engaged.
10:19You know that thing with the ice cream and biscuits?
10:23She got me hooked on that too.
10:26Good to see magic isn't the only thing that's been passed down in this family.
10:31Of course, it's still the most important.
10:34We're special, Tom.
10:36Never forget that.
10:38Dad says it's important to be a good man first, a wizard second.
10:43That's typical Unenchanted.
10:45A wizard has to embrace his nature, his magic.
10:52What if sometimes it scares you?
10:56Life's a dragon.
10:59You have to tame it or it'll burn you.
11:03But if you've got three spells in your pocket and you know how to scratch its ears,
11:07it makes it a whole lot easier to ride.
11:10Ride that dragon, Tom.
11:26It's Dad.
11:28He wants to know where I am.
11:30You should go, Unenchanted. Worry about wizards.
11:34But fathers have a right to be worried about their children.
11:38Are you staying here?
11:40Yeah, I think so.
11:42Might catch 50 winks.
11:44It's a lot quieter without Moon.
11:46He snores like a volcano.
12:08I wonder if our friend yet walks again in the world of dreams.
12:30Ah! Your palace of shadows!
12:34Sorceress of Necron.
12:36Where all things are as they should be.
12:40Should be.
12:42Oh, my trusted familiar.
12:45You do so miss the power of speech in the universe of the Unenchanted, do you not, my Elix?
12:52I want to peck, peck at their softest bits.
12:56And tell them how sweet they taste.
13:00Oh, how sweet!
13:02We both have a role to play until the time is right.
13:05Until then, you must make do with beetroot bugs.
13:11Now, wizard, how sweet are your dreams, I wonder?
13:33Hello again, Simeon.
13:37Strange lady.
13:39Are you some sleep demon?
13:42Such a demon would be no match for a warrior wizard.
13:46It is true.
13:48And what use would a demon have for my Tales of the Neverside, which you admire so much?
13:54Exactly.
13:56But this Neverside fascinates me.
14:00And its line of twilight.
14:02You say this was born of war?
14:04Between the wizards and the creatures of the Neverside.
14:08Led by the Wraith Lords and their High Wraith, Warlock.
14:14But the wizards destroyed him.
14:17Defeated, but not destroyed.
14:20The wizards destroyed him.
14:22Defeated, but not destroyed.
14:26Warlock survives on the Neverside, waiting to bring down the line of twilight
14:33and spread chaos and dark magic across the world.
14:37And could he ever do that?
14:40Legend tells of a hidden talisman.
14:44A key of bones that could unlock the line of twilight.
14:51Or lock it.
14:54And that could heal the tears, of course.
14:58The key of bones.
14:59A hidden talisman.
15:02But what is hidden can be found, Simeon Swann.
15:06And you are the wizard to find it.
15:11It's Wednesday night. Shop night.
15:13How could you forget?
15:14I'm sorry, all right?
15:16Grandad turned up in a sports car.
15:17Sports car?
15:18Tom, he's been on the Neverside for 30 years.
15:21He probably doesn't even have a license.
15:23He rode dragons and black unicorns.
15:25He seemed to do all right.
15:26Yeah, he says, and I don't care.
15:28I don't suppose you have to bother much about red lights and rights of way
15:31when you're riding a flaming dragon.
15:33And where did this sports car come from, hmm?
15:35Magic, I suppose.
15:37He as good as said you wouldn't understand.
15:39I mean, you're unenchanted, aren't you?
15:40You don't trust magic.
15:42I don't trust Simeon.
15:45He's mum's dad.
15:47This has nothing to do with your mother.
15:50Don't bring her into it.
15:53We went to visit her grave.
16:00He's so sorry about what happened, Gran.
16:04He's so sorry about what happened, Gran.
16:07Him getting stuck in the Neverside,
16:09that wasn't his fault, and he missed you.
16:14And he missed mum.
16:16Every day.
16:19I'm sure he did.
16:24But your father's right.
16:26You should be careful, Thomas.
16:28What?
16:30How can you say that?
16:32When I first saw Simeon,
16:34he was like no other man I'd ever met.
16:38All these years later,
16:40I've still to meet another quite like him.
16:43That's good, isn't it?
16:45Who wants to be like everyone else?
16:47I know.
16:50But perhaps your grandfather's problem is
16:53he was born too late.
16:55He should have been fighting wraith lords
16:58beside Caractacus.
17:00But today,
17:02I'm afraid a man like that, Thomas,
17:05perhaps he just means trouble.
17:12Grandad.
17:15Wait!
17:19Grandad, hold on.
17:21She doesn't mean it.
17:23She just doesn't understand.
17:25You have to explain to her about what happened that day.
17:28You just took one step too many.
17:30I always took one step too many.
17:32That's what she means. I always went too far.
17:34Everyone messes up sometimes.
17:36It doesn't make them a bad person.
17:38You just have to show her she can trust you.
17:43A quest to win the maiden's hand.
17:46A quest of worthiness,
17:48like Jason and the Golden Fleece
17:51or Sir Galahad and the Holy Grail.
17:54I was thinking you could maybe start with chocolates.
17:57There's something better than chocolates.
17:59I can fix the tears in the line of twilight.
18:07The Key of Bones?
18:09No, no, the Key of Bones will be hidden
18:11and hidden for good reason.
18:13But it could put a stop to the tears in the line of twilight.
18:15Or it could be bringing about twilight's fall
18:17and opening up the Unenchanted to invasion from the Neverside.
18:20What is the Key of Bones, anyway?
18:22A talisman of great magical power.
18:24Correcticus and the other eight wizards of the Meeting of the Silver Dawn
18:27used to cast the line of twilight.
18:29It's the skeletal hand of the high-wraith warlock
18:32cut off in the last battle at Blackhawk Abbey.
18:35Oh, that's nice.
18:36By Henrik's hammer, whatever will it be
18:38making you think about the Key of Bones, Simeon Swann?
18:41I fell asleep by Helen's grave
18:43and when I woke, it was just there on my head.
18:45Then maybe it's a message from Mother.
18:47The Mistress Helen would never be wishing such a quest
18:49upon her father or her son.
18:51Randall Boone knows it.
18:53The Key of Bones will be lost.
18:55No one will be finding it.
18:57Something I learnt on the Neverside.
19:01If you offer a captured fairy her freedom,
19:05she'll take you anywhere you want.
19:09No, Master Simeon.
19:11Randall Boone will not be allowing it.
19:13Oh, Boone, you've always been such a boring old windbag.
19:17Take five.
19:18Sharsen...
19:24You knocked out Randall Boone?
19:26Fifty winks will do him good.
19:28And with luck, we'll be back by the time he wakes up.
19:31Look, come on, we've got to get on with this
19:33before Ursula gets down.
19:34Grandad.
19:37I'm not sure about this.
19:38This is no time for doubts.
19:40The line of twilight is tearing.
19:43The dayside is in peril.
19:44We have to save it.
19:47We're wizards, Tom.
19:49And it's time to ride the dragon.
19:54Most exquisite, excellent, excellency.
19:57King regent of all of Necron.
20:00Get on with it.
20:01Have you located the leak in our magic containment systems?
20:04In a manner of speaking...
20:05Speak plainly, and now!
20:08During my checks, there was a burst of magical energy.
20:12A malfunction?
20:13Well, not exactly.
20:15I had, of course, activated a personal defence field
20:18to shield me from the Xanti's scale.
20:20And it seems this somehow protected me
20:23from the magical anomaly.
20:25Explain!
20:26And quickly!
20:28Well, I found myself in what can only be described as
20:32a zone of magic aboard the Zarantulas.
20:36Wizards.
20:37No.
20:39I fear it is your wife.
20:42She is a sorceress.
20:50Let my wife hear your vile lies before I obliterate you!
20:55I said only what I saw.
20:57What in the seven moons of Necron is going on?
21:00This toothless swamp slug accuses my lady wife
21:05of stealing magic and using it in sorcery.
21:09He is mad.
21:11All those months on Earth pretending to be human,
21:14it has warped his brain.
21:15It's true.
21:16I saw the whole flight deck was transformed.
21:19There was a sphere of magic.
21:21She was communing with a wizard.
21:23The bird!
21:24The bird, Elixir, can speak!
21:34You see?
21:35Completely mad.
21:37You are right.
21:38He must be.
21:40I saw it.
21:41I heard it.
21:42Talk, bird!
21:43Talk!
21:44Who's a pretty boy?
21:46Guards!
21:47Take him!
21:49This jester has clearly out-jested himself today.
21:52Let him rest and come to realize the folly of his imagination.
22:06I should still obliterate him.
22:08But Elixir has such a taste for him.
22:11The thought of that bird being able to talk,
22:14I am unsure whether to laugh or to shudder.
22:17It is not important, my Wechstvarg.
22:21But I know of something that is.
22:25I have acquired information
22:27by scans of their electromagnetic communication systems
22:30that the wizards are preparing a quest
22:33for a powerful magical talisman.
22:35Our DNA scanners will track them
22:38using this wizard's blood sample.
22:41Your resourcefulness intoxicates me
22:43almost as much as your beauty,
22:46my dark amethyst of Necron.
22:48And you are yet to hear my stratagem in full.
22:51Oh, King Mediant of all Necrons.
23:04I hope you got all that,
23:06because I sort of lost her at Bonjarre.
23:08One day I'll teach you, fairy.
23:11That'll be an experience.
23:16Let's go.
23:34She says she knows someone
23:35who can help us find the Key of Bones,
23:37and she's gonna take us there.
23:39What, right now?
23:40Yeah.
23:41Where?
23:42Shanghai.
23:43You are kidding me.
23:44Tom!
23:45But we have to go now.
23:46You ready?
23:47Yes.
23:49I am Simeon of the Magical Line of Swan,
23:52and I invoke your fairy freedom promise.
23:55Calm. What's going on?
23:56Take us on this quest.
23:58Fastly.
24:08What did you do?
24:10Where are we?
24:12Shanghai?
24:15Where in China?
24:16Shanghai.
24:18Well, I don't think you'd dance, Simeon.
24:19Oh, please don't complain, Michael.
24:21Unenchanteds weren't invited.
24:25We've come to find the Key of Bones
24:27and fix the line of twilight.
24:28The Key of what?
24:32Excuse me.
24:34The yellow dragon lays green eggs in a red tree.
24:39Man's lost it. He's completely lost it.
24:41Red trees are bad for dragon eggs.
24:46Black monkeys eat dragon eggs.
24:49But dragons eat toasted black monkeys.
24:53So this is a good place for a dragon to lay eggs.
24:59What quest do you seek, wizard?
25:01The Key of Bones.
25:03Many have quested for this.
25:08None have returned.
25:11Enter, wizard.
25:12Your first challenge awaits.
25:39I don't pretend for a minute to understand what's going on.
25:43There's a threshold here. I can feel it.
25:46Something's telling me it won't just take us back to April Owl.
25:49Where are we?
25:52Where the wizard is.
25:56You have travelled a long way to seek out my shop.
26:01I'm looking for the Key of Bones, strange old man.
26:05I do not know what you're talking about.
26:09Then you are unnecessary.
26:13This is it, I'm sure.
26:25Sir!
26:27It seems we are going on a journey together.
26:30What in the name of...
26:32It seems we are going on a journey together.
26:34What in the name of the sorcerer, you?
26:37The necklace.
26:38Take us to the Key of Bones.
26:40Or I will spread the unenchanted atoms from here to eternity.
26:45So, you're aliens.
26:47I've got to say, I fought worse.
26:50Rashfada!
26:55I told you.
26:56They feed on magic. It only makes them stronger.
26:59Simeon, sometimes waving a few spells around just makes things worse.
27:03For everyone.
27:04Enter the portal, all of you.
27:06Move!
27:08It's...
27:28Two minutes to solve the puzzle,
27:31or your bones shall never leave here.
27:38I thought we were in this together.
27:40We both know it was only a matter of time before you tried to dispose of us.
27:44You will share the final test with Lady Lyzira.
27:50Come on! They're right behind us!
28:07To be continued...