• 2 months ago
An unassuming pet photographer is thrown into serious action, adventure and romance when he's forced to marry a Croatian bride and spend his honeymoon at a remote tropical resort where she is kidnapped.
Seorang fotografer hewan peliharaan yang sederhana terlibat dalam aksi, petualangan, dan romansa yang serius ketika dia dipaksa menikahi seorang pengantin Kroasia dan menghabiskan bulan madunya di sebuah resor tropis terpencil di mana dia diculik.
Stars
Dave Annable,Katharine McPhee,Rob Schneider

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Transcript
00:00:00I just closed my eyes and through it all I can see your smile, I can see your smile
00:00:30You smile, you smile
00:00:39When the night begins and I see no light I just close my eyes and break away
00:00:46I can see your smile, I can see your smile
00:00:54You smile, you smile
00:01:02I have felt the cold, the temperature of life frozen
00:01:10I know I'll be fine because of your love
00:01:14Step by step, walk
00:01:18When I close my eyes, your smile remains
00:01:22Deep within my heart, deep within my heart
00:01:26I know you believe in me
00:01:29You bring out the best in me
00:01:37Oh, deep within my heart, your smile remains
00:01:42When I feel forgotten, I know you're always thinking of me
00:01:49Forever and a day, you are always here by my side
00:01:56I'll always be here
00:02:02You two look amazing, you're like a perfect couple
00:02:12Come on you guys, it's your wedding day, smile
00:02:17This isn't working
00:02:21Piggy, Mr. Piggy, come on
00:02:23Mr. Piggy, who doesn't love Mr. Piggy, come on
00:02:25Up here guys, up here
00:02:27Tanya, what are you doing?
00:02:28I'm trying to get them to stand up and look into each other's eyes and then kiss badger
00:02:33Oh!
00:02:34Walk, walk away
00:02:37All right, come on guys
00:02:39So how long have they been dating?
00:02:41I know you have to multiply it by seven or something but
00:02:44I'm just trying to get an idea of how long to go out with somebody before tying the knot, you know
00:02:49Okay
00:02:51Give me that
00:02:54Come on guys, work with me
00:02:56Sit, sit up, sit up, sit up
00:03:02Tanya, Tanya
00:03:06What are you doing?
00:03:07I'm so, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry
00:03:08Will you stop dancing like this?
00:03:10Mr. Piggy likes to speak, doggies do the freak
00:03:12Mr. Piggy likes to groove, doggies bust a move
00:03:24Ah!
00:03:27I so very much like espresso
00:03:32It's strong and enjoyably bitter
00:03:36I see you, Agent Ross, you prefer a straightforward cup of coffee
00:03:41While you, Agent Myers, you pick a latte and add much sweetness
00:03:47This is why I became U.S. citizen
00:03:50America is the land of many choices
00:03:54Plus, Croatian coffee tastes like dog urine
00:03:57Why exactly did you want to meet with us, Mr. Nikitin?
00:04:01You and your wife have already obtained citizenship
00:04:04I don't think there's anything we can help you with
00:04:06I want my daughter, Marsha, to have the same opportunity
00:04:09Without the wait
00:04:11So what are you suggesting, sir?
00:04:12I am more than willing to pay a reasonable fee to expedite her paperwork
00:04:17My understanding is that the traditional cost of this service is 10,000 U.S. dollars
00:04:26Whatever your understanding of bypassing U.S. immigration laws is, Mr. Nikitin
00:04:31We're not in the business of expediting anybody's citizenship
00:04:35You're lucky we don't arrest you for trying to bribe us
00:04:38We'll be paying close attention to your daughter
00:04:42You said they could be bought
00:04:44That's what I was told
00:04:46Don't worry, I found someone else
00:04:48No, INS will be watching her closely
00:04:51We must find another way
00:05:05Okay, all right
00:05:08Hey, the sooner we get this done, the sooner you can go back to pillaging
00:05:11He's just messing with you
00:05:13You're a big old baby
00:05:15Give me a whip
00:05:17You need to get to know him, that's all
00:05:19Rub him between his hinds and you can pose him
00:05:21I'm sorry, do you say between his hinds?
00:05:23If you want him to cooperate, you gotta give him a tickle
00:05:25Yeah, I'm not really a tickler type
00:05:27I think you should probably tickle your own dog
00:05:29Your ad says satisfaction guarantee
00:05:32Well, I don't pay homes
00:05:34Okay, I can tickle the dog
00:05:38Usually I would take you out to dinner first, but this is, um...
00:05:41There you go
00:05:46I'm sorry I'm late
00:05:48Are you rubbing that dog's happy spot?
00:05:51It's the only way he'll cooperate
00:05:53Well, I could have told you that
00:05:55Oh, um, you know what, that's my next client
00:05:57Will you just show her the costumes
00:05:59And don't bring her on a date
00:06:01That's my next client
00:06:03Will you just show her the costumes
00:06:05And don't bring her on until I say, okay?
00:06:07Got it
00:06:09Oh, lord
00:06:11Hello
00:06:13I am here for photograph of cat
00:06:17I love your accent
00:06:19It's Venezuelan, right?
00:06:23Okay
00:06:25Think about massaging him again
00:06:27No, no, no, we got it
00:06:29I'll email you the proofs, you'll love them
00:06:31So we can't decide between the ballerina or the angel?
00:06:33Tony, I told you not to bring the cat!
00:06:35Oh, my God!
00:06:37Oh, my God!
00:06:39Oh, my God!
00:06:41Oh, my God!
00:06:43Oh, my God!
00:06:45Guys, come back, come back
00:06:47Oh, my God!
00:06:49Oh, my God!
00:06:51Oh, my God!
00:06:53Oh, my God!
00:06:55Oh, my God!
00:06:57Oh, my God!
00:06:59Oh, my God!
00:07:01Oh, my God!
00:07:23I gotta go, I'm late for my modeling class
00:07:27I'm really sorry about what happened
00:07:29It's okay, accidents happen
00:07:37Why haven't you asked me out?
00:07:41I've been your assistant for a whole month now
00:07:45Yeah, and you've been
00:07:49Really creative with the squeaky toys and stuff
00:07:51That's like a talent
00:07:53Don't you find me attractive?
00:07:57Yeah, but you know
00:07:59It's not a good idea
00:08:01I feel
00:08:03A really strong connection
00:08:05Between us
00:08:07If I moved in with you
00:08:09I'd never be late to work
00:08:11Yeah
00:08:13Or an alarm clock
00:08:15Would probably also work
00:08:21Think about it, okay?
00:08:27Okay
00:08:41Show me tongue
00:08:43You suffer from stress
00:08:45Yeah, tell me about it
00:08:47Chi out of balance
00:08:49We fix
00:08:53I've never done this before, does this hurt?
00:08:55No pain
00:08:57Close eyes, relax
00:09:07Okay, this isn't that bad
00:09:19You look a bit stressed
00:09:21Do you want me to help you out with that?
00:09:25Yeah
00:09:29You like borscht?
00:09:31It's all family recipe
00:09:37My name is Volodko Nikita
00:09:39Brickland and Olek, they work for me
00:09:41You can call me Brick
00:09:43Look, what do you want?
00:09:45I mean, this is kidnapping
00:09:47No, no kidnapping
00:09:49You came here voluntarily
00:09:51To make amends
00:09:53Tell that to my wife's cat
00:09:55Oh, I'm so sorry about that
00:09:57I have a new assistant
00:09:59Cat is worthless
00:10:01I bought it in Dubrovnik
00:10:03For three kune
00:10:05That's 54 US cents
00:10:07Look, I'll pay for all your vet charges
00:10:09Cat is simply cat to me
00:10:11I prefer goat
00:10:13But my wife, Borislava
00:10:15She is hardsy
00:10:17Look, Mr. Nick
00:10:19Nickotine
00:10:21What can I do to make this right, sir?
00:10:23Easiest solution would have
00:10:25Brickland and Olek put you in cement shoes
00:10:27And take you for swim in lake
00:10:37What's the next easiest solution?
00:10:39Marry my daughter Masha
00:10:45Masha having problems with visa
00:10:47Marriage solves problem
00:10:49Wait a second, you want me to marry your daughter
00:10:51So she can get a green card?
00:10:53After one year, you get annulment
00:10:55And you have no further debt to my family
00:10:57No, I've never even met her
00:10:59Relax, please
00:11:01Marriage is purely for show
00:11:03Masha will be marrying Brickland in one year's time
00:11:05Brickland is like son to me
00:11:07But he is very jealous
00:11:09So I would not consider
00:11:11Any sexual activity
00:11:13With hand or mouth
00:11:15Or he will kill you in a very unpleasant way
00:11:17Okay, I'm sorry
00:11:19But this conversation is over
00:11:21I'm really apologetic about your cat
00:11:23And that whole situation
00:11:25But I...
00:11:27You do not know who I am
00:11:29Many powerful men have tried to cross me
00:11:31Where are they now?
00:11:33Who knows
00:11:35You?
00:11:37You are not a powerful man
00:11:39But you are an intelligent man
00:11:41I believe you will make the right decision
00:11:43Budmo
00:11:45And we live forever
00:11:47Budmo
00:12:15Budmo
00:12:17Budmo
00:12:19Budmo
00:12:21Budmo
00:12:23Budmo
00:12:25Budmo
00:12:27Budmo
00:12:29Budmo
00:12:31Budmo
00:12:33Budmo
00:12:35Budmo
00:12:37Budmo
00:12:39Budmo
00:12:41Budmo
00:12:43Did you hear what I just said?
00:12:45Yes, this is good news
00:12:47No, this is not good news, mom
00:12:49Did you miss the part about him murdering me?
00:12:51Do you love her?
00:12:53No, I don't... Mom, I've never even met her
00:12:55But the whole thing is complicated
00:12:57Oh, it's always too complicated with you
00:12:59Is she old enough to bear children?
00:13:01What?
00:13:03I hear Eastern European women are very fertile
00:13:05Mom, look, this... You know what? This is not helping
00:13:07What does she look like?
00:13:09Uh, I don't know, but judging by her mother
00:13:11We all get ugly
00:13:13It's only a matter of time
00:13:15Does she have any money?
00:13:17I don't... Her father is some sort of crime boss
00:13:19So she comes for money
00:13:21Are you listening to me?
00:13:23Do you have any other women in your life?
00:13:25Oh, here we go
00:13:27I'm not getting any younger, Brian
00:13:29I need some grandchildren already
00:13:31Well, that's not gonna happen. They said I can't even touch her
00:13:33My father told your dad the same thing
00:13:35You think he listened?
00:13:37You were conceived in an elevator on our honeymoon
00:13:39And imprinted on my forehead for two days
00:13:41Mom, I did not need to hear that
00:13:43All men are afraid of commitment
00:13:45Stop whining and marry this girl
00:13:47That's all I'm gonna say
00:13:51You like playing?
00:13:53I pay half price
00:13:55Sounds like you got a streaming deal
00:13:57Yes
00:13:59Streaming was involved
00:14:01Wedding is in two weeks
00:14:03Brooklyn wishes to be your best man
00:14:05What are you doing?
00:14:07I'm moved
00:14:09Give this to Masha during vows
00:14:11It will help convince authorities
00:14:13You are serious
00:14:15You wish to invite witnesses?
00:14:17Um, no
00:14:19I'm an only child
00:14:21My dad's gone and my mom is...
00:14:23Let's just say my mom is a prior commitment
00:14:25Okay
00:14:27Meeting over
00:14:29Get out
00:14:35What do you mean you're getting married?
00:14:37I mean I'm getting married
00:14:39How long have you been sleeping with her?
00:14:41That's a little inappropriate
00:14:43How long?
00:14:45How long?
00:14:47I haven't slept with her yet, okay?
00:14:49What is she, a virgin or something?
00:14:51What does she look like?
00:14:53She's sexy?
00:14:55Uh, she's crow-eared
00:14:57And she's hot
00:14:59What?
00:15:01What?
00:15:03Uh, she's Croatian
00:15:05Does she even speak English?
00:15:07I hope so
00:15:09Did you order her off eBay or something?
00:15:11I did not order her off eBay
00:15:13Then how come you've never mentioned her?
00:15:15Because it's complicated, okay?
00:15:25You know, Brian, I'm not stupid
00:15:27If you wanted to dump me
00:15:29you didn't have to invent some
00:15:31some crustacean virgin
00:15:33Croatian, Croatian
00:15:35And I did not invent her, okay?
00:15:37I've never been dumped
00:15:39I do the dumping, you understand?
00:15:41How can I dump you if we've never gone out?
00:15:43You know what, look, if it makes you feel better
00:15:45go ahead and dump me
00:15:47Why would I do that?
00:15:49I love you
00:15:51Okay, um, look, Tanya
00:15:53I think you may have misunderstood our relationship, okay?
00:15:55Look, Brian
00:15:57I don't know about a lot of things
00:15:59But one thing I do know about is men
00:16:01and you definitely will
00:16:03Okay, I'm like, no
00:16:05I'm sorry, I'm getting married
00:16:09We'll see about that
00:16:13Uh, what is that supposed to mean?
00:16:15Okay, let's go over it one more time
00:16:17Okay, um, we met two months ago
00:16:19at the ballet
00:16:21Which ballet?
00:16:23The, uh, the Gazelle
00:16:25Gazelle? By the Joffrey?
00:16:27The ballet
00:16:29Well, she likes dancing
00:16:31It's her passion! She's a very passionate person
00:16:33Okay, whatever, so we went to the ballet
00:16:35and then we started dating
00:16:37Where did you propose to her?
00:16:39Um, at, uh, Ukrainian Bistro
00:16:41Ukrainian Village Restaurant
00:16:43What's her favorite drink?
00:16:45Oh, this one I know, Stav, Stav, Stav
00:16:47Don't tell me, Stav, Stav
00:16:49It's a strong liquor
00:16:51What's her favorite color?
00:16:53Uh, that's blue
00:16:55Lancer
00:16:57And what does she hate more than anything?
00:16:59Um, big limey thugs
00:17:01Um, womanizers
00:17:03Womanizers, she hates womanizers
00:17:05Brick, I was kidding
00:17:07It was a bad joke in retrospect
00:17:09You listen to me
00:17:11A date's been set for you and Marsha to meet at a nightclub
00:17:13You put on a good show for your authorities
00:17:15But if you go too far
00:17:17I'll rip your eye out
00:17:19Oh, okay
00:17:21I appreciate your encouragement, sir
00:17:25You know
00:17:27This would help if I knew what she looked like
00:17:31To me she's the most
00:17:33beautiful woman in the world
00:17:49Hi
00:17:51I'm Brian
00:17:53Brian, Brick told me a lot about you
00:17:55Joya
00:17:57Joya?
00:17:59You're not Marsha?
00:18:01Joya
00:18:03You're not Marsha, that's awesome
00:18:09Marsha
00:18:15Hi, Marsha
00:18:17Hi
00:18:21Brian
00:18:23Marsha
00:18:25Marsha
00:18:27Yeah
00:18:33Okay
00:18:35Come on
00:18:37Hello
00:18:45Hello
00:18:47Thank you
00:18:53This is awkward
00:18:55It is
00:18:57I had no idea what you look like
00:18:59You look disappointed
00:19:01No, no, I'm not disappointed
00:19:03Your English is perfect
00:19:05I wasn't an American in any of my whole childhood
00:19:07You look exactly the way I thought you would
00:19:09I do?
00:19:11I checked out your Facebook profile
00:19:13Oh my
00:19:15Listen, that was one night, bachelor party
00:19:17Those weren't my cowboy boots
00:19:19It was my friend's
00:19:21We're not together
00:19:23I know you're only here because of what happened to my mother's cat
00:19:25I'm so sorry about that
00:19:27No, no, no, no, no offense or anything
00:19:29But I don't want to marry you either
00:19:31I don't even know you
00:19:33You have really brown eyes
00:19:35But that hardly qualifies
00:19:39Look, I know I'm breaking the law
00:19:41I could have been admitted legally in less than a year
00:19:43But that was before my father decided to bribe the INS
00:19:47I told him to stay out of it
00:19:49But
00:19:55Okay, there are two men
00:19:57They're watching us right now
00:19:59Just
00:20:01Act natural or something
00:20:09What do we do?
00:20:11Let's um
00:20:13Let's put on a little show for them
00:20:15Come on
00:20:17What are you doing?
00:20:29I'm not exactly Mikhail Baryshnikov
00:20:31Just relax
00:20:33Okay
00:20:39Oh
00:20:41Okay
00:20:43Oh, no, no, no
00:20:45Yeah, this is good, right?
00:20:47No, no, just take my lead, okay?
00:20:49Okay
00:20:51Let's slow, slow, slow
00:21:01You think they made us?
00:21:03Oh, yeah
00:21:05Um
00:21:07I think they're leaving
00:21:09Who?
00:21:11The INS agents
00:21:13Oh, right
00:21:15Yeah
00:21:17We should probably play it safe
00:21:29Coast is clear
00:21:31See you at the wedding
00:21:33Uh, coast is clear
00:21:35See you at the wedding
00:21:45Mr. Lighthouse
00:21:47I'd like to ask a few questions
00:21:49I'm Agent Ross, INS
00:21:51This is my partner, Agent Myers
00:21:53So we understand that you're gonna marry
00:21:55Masha Nikitin
00:21:57Yes, uh, yes I am
00:21:59We've been dating for a few months
00:22:01She loves the color red
00:22:03And she hates womanizers
00:22:07So where did you two meet?
00:22:09Uh, at the Joffrey
00:22:11We saw the Nutcracker
00:22:13The Gazelle
00:22:15It was a triple bill
00:22:17So you're a big ballet fan then, huh?
00:22:19No
00:22:21Actually, I'm not
00:22:23I was given free tickets and I said maybe I should go
00:22:25And then I'd meet a Croatian bride
00:22:27Jack
00:22:29Um
00:22:31What's this about, gentlemen?
00:22:33Well, I think you know, Mr. Lighthouse
00:22:35Masha Nikitin's visa's about to run out
00:22:37And she conveniently marries you in the nick of time
00:22:39Did her father offer you money to marry his daughter?
00:22:41Guys, come on
00:22:43You know, Vladko Nikitin is a very powerful
00:22:45Eastern European crime figure
00:22:47He's being investigated for racketeering
00:22:49Extortion, murder
00:22:51And you want to be his son-in-law?
00:22:53How much is he paying you, Lighthouse?
00:22:55Nothing
00:22:57He's got that on his stack of Bibles
00:22:59Well, we understand that he's paying for a mega-buck honeymoon
00:23:01Out in the South Pacific
00:23:03What about that?
00:23:05He is?
00:23:07You're telling us you don't know about your own honeymoon
00:23:09Oh, my honeymoon?
00:23:11Of course I know, duh
00:23:13I just didn't know that he was paying for the full thing
00:23:15Thought you guys ruined that surprise
00:23:17Is there no Santa, too?
00:23:19You'll go to jail for a hell of a long time
00:23:21If you're not telling us the truth
00:23:23Or you'll end up dead
00:23:25You want me to let you walk away from this?
00:23:27If this wedding is a result of coercion
00:23:29We can offer you full immunity
00:23:31If you help us
00:23:35Help you do what?
00:23:37Well, we need to know everything about Nikitin's business dealings
00:23:39Bank accounts, money laundering
00:23:41The works
00:23:45I'm sorry, guys
00:23:47But no one's pressuring me into this
00:23:49I love Masha
00:23:51Okay
00:23:53Well, um
00:23:55Just, uh
00:23:57Think about it
00:23:59Okay
00:24:01Um, it's fine, but
00:24:03I have nothing to hide
00:24:11Tanya, what are you doing here?
00:24:13Looking for some catnip
00:24:15You got any?
00:24:17No, I don't have catnip
00:24:19Look, uh
00:24:21You look great-ish
00:24:23But you have to get out of here, okay?
00:24:25I'll let you pose me and take pictures of me if you want
00:24:33Tanya, you really need to go, okay?
00:24:39Look, if you care about me at all
00:24:41You'll forget about me, okay?
00:24:43I'm not giving up on you that easily, Brian
00:24:45Meow
00:25:01Welcome, everyone
00:25:03I would like to make a toast
00:25:05To the newlyweds
00:25:07Zamanse!
00:25:15Love you, Dad!
00:25:29This is a private reception
00:25:35Okay
00:25:37Mrs. Lighthouse
00:25:39Did I tell you how beautiful you look?
00:25:41Oh, was that before or after you got drunk?
00:25:43Oh, that's me
00:25:45Yuba Chernobyl
00:25:47You can search me if you want
00:25:57I'm really gonna like being married to you
00:26:13Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:15Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:17Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:19Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:21Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:23Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:25Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:27Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:29Who's Gorko?
00:26:31It means the vine is bitter
00:26:33We must kiss her as long as it takes
00:26:35To make the vine sweet
00:26:37It's a Slavic tradition
00:26:39You might have messed with your nation
00:26:41Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:43Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:45Gorko! Gorko!
00:26:53Relax
00:26:55You can do what you want to her
00:26:57After she gains citizenship
00:27:05I love this woman!
00:27:11I would like to make a toast to the groom
00:27:13Brian
00:27:15You and I
00:27:17Have shared many intimate moments
00:27:19Together
00:27:21Most of them have involved animals
00:27:23Some
00:27:25Like the night where you had me dressed up
00:27:27Like a kitten
00:27:29I will never forget
00:27:31Well, well, well
00:27:33He's got a little girlfriend. Resolve this
00:27:35I know you love me, Brian
00:27:37Who else can make Mr. Piggy squeal like I do?
00:27:39Okay
00:27:41No!
00:27:43I'm not giving up on you!
00:27:45Sorry about that
00:27:47That was my assistant
00:27:49Former assistant
00:27:51She's crazy
00:27:53Somehow thinks that we're in a relationship
00:27:55But that is totally, unequivocally false
00:27:57Because I've only loved one woman
00:27:59In my life besides my mother
00:28:01And today
00:28:03I was lucky enough to marry her
00:28:06Stop, stop
00:28:08Well, let's party, guys. It's a wedding
00:28:10Zorkum, zorkum
00:28:12Zorkum
00:28:19You are doing a very convincing job
00:28:21Of pretending to love my daughter
00:28:23It's not like I have a choice
00:28:25My wife, she's an excellent judge of character
00:28:27She sees
00:28:29What she sees
00:28:31Even if you're blind
00:28:33I don't love your daughter
00:28:35Nothing must happen on honeymoon
00:28:37Well, then why are we even going on a honeymoon?
00:28:39I and Esma suspect nothing
00:28:41The resort is far
00:28:43Maybe they not follow
00:28:45But eyes will be watching you
00:28:47So make sure that little Brian
00:28:49Does not take over for big Brian
00:28:51If you grab my mini
00:29:03Ah
00:29:24What did she say?
00:29:26She said take good care of our Masha
00:29:28Or you will suffer
00:29:30Beyond all imagination
00:29:33Oh
00:29:35That's what I thought she said
00:29:49You know, you didn't say a word to me the whole flight
00:29:51You passed out the entire flight
00:29:53Should we talk about this?
00:29:55There's nothing to talk about
00:29:57You play your part and I'll play mine
00:29:59Yeah, we're going to be spending a lot of time together
00:30:01Can't we at least try and be friends?
00:30:03We'll see
00:30:15Oh, um, hi, may I help you?
00:30:17Yeah, hi
00:30:19We're on the 11am flight to Nuku Hiva
00:30:21Staying at the Lovers Bay Resort
00:30:23Oh, I'm sorry, all flights to the
00:30:25Marquesas have been cancelled due to a weather system
00:30:27But
00:30:29Oh, but you can try
00:30:31And book a local room at that counter
00:30:35Um
00:30:37Do you have another way we can get there?
00:30:41Ernesto can fly you there
00:30:43Who's Ernesto?
00:30:45Ernesto Esteban Cruz
00:30:49Like Penelope Cruz
00:30:51She won the Oscar
00:30:55I checked the Doppler
00:30:57A storm heading south
00:30:59You should miss Nuku Hiva
00:31:01By a little short hair
00:31:03Plus you get guided tour
00:31:05A private flight and free sandwiches
00:31:07How much is it?
00:31:13Um, should we try this?
00:31:15Um, are you sure this is safe?
00:31:17I haven't lost a passenger yet
00:31:27If you look to your left
00:31:29You will see the magnificent Hivaoa Island
00:31:33The second largest in the Marquesas
00:31:37Um, how much further?
00:31:39Ah
00:31:41The beautiful island of Bora Bora
00:31:43Is coming up on your right
00:31:45It is in the leeward group of
00:31:47Fafayeti Islands
00:31:49Wait a minute, Bora Bora is nowhere near Nuku Hiva
00:31:51Do you even know where we are?
00:31:53Wait a minute, Bora Bora is nowhere near Nuku Hiva
00:31:55Do you even know where we are?
00:31:57Not exactly
00:31:59My instruments are down
00:32:01With either of you like a sandwich
00:32:03I'm sorry, did you say your instruments are down?
00:32:05Yes, I have ham and cheese
00:32:07Or just cheese
00:32:13Are we gonna crash?
00:32:15I don't like to use the term crash
00:32:17It's negative
00:32:19I prefer the term catastrophic failure
00:32:21Oh my god
00:32:25Please hold it back
00:32:35Welcome to Nuku Hiva
00:32:37Oh my god
00:32:51Welcome to Nuku Hiva
00:33:11Okay, we have arrived
00:33:13Let's go
00:33:17Let's see
00:33:19Senor
00:33:21Get some
00:33:25Please, my hand
00:33:29Ah, yeah
00:33:31Here
00:33:41Gratuity, it's not included
00:33:45Okay, I'm sorry
00:33:47I know it says in the guidebook that there's no tipping in Tahiti
00:33:49You're going to believe guidebook?
00:33:51Or Ernesto?
00:33:53Are you kidding me? You almost got us killed like a hundred times
00:33:55You're on honeymoon
00:33:57It's like best Aphrodisiac money can buy
00:33:59Look, it's working already
00:34:01Come on
00:34:05Okay
00:34:11Gracias
00:34:13Enjoy your honeymoon
00:34:15Give her one for me
00:34:25Con tu permiso
00:34:29Gracias
00:34:55Don't even think about it
00:34:59Goodbye
00:35:29Hey.
00:35:30Hey.
00:35:31Um, Brick said that was your favorite.
00:35:34They say it stirs your passion.
00:35:36I just like the taste.
00:35:38Want some?
00:35:39Uh, yeah, sure.
00:35:42God, I've never stayed in a place this nice before.
00:35:44Yeah.
00:35:46My idea of a perfect honeymoon is staying in a primitive village,
00:35:50dancing barefoot under the moonlight.
00:35:52Somehow I can't see Brick going for that.
00:35:55Yeah, I'm not gonna marry Brick.
00:35:58I'm gonna marry somebody I'm in love with.
00:36:04You know, actually, uh, I really like your jungle honeymoon idea.
00:36:09Really?
00:36:10Yeah.
00:36:11Well, sort of my plan was, you know,
00:36:13to shoot for National Geographic, explore the world.
00:36:16I get the next best thing,
00:36:17and I take pictures of pets in stupid costumes.
00:36:20Well, once I get my son back,
00:36:22I'm gonna open my own dance studio.
00:36:24Really?
00:36:25Yeah, I was lucky.
00:36:26My parents paid for all my lessons.
00:36:28I like to see other kids have the same opportunity.
00:36:31Wow, that's great.
00:36:33Really cool.
00:36:35To both of us finding happiness.
00:36:37Yeah, happiness.
00:36:42Oh, that's good.
00:36:43Stir my passion.
00:36:44Not you or your robe, which I didn't even notice.
00:36:47It's not flattering.
00:36:49I can't believe I'm actually married.
00:36:51Me neither.
00:36:56Okay, you know what?
00:36:57You, uh, you take the bed.
00:36:59I'll, uh, I'll do the chair.
00:37:01You sure?
00:37:02Yeah, yeah, it's all yours.
00:37:07Where are you going?
00:37:09Um, I'm just gonna get some fresh air.
00:37:11It's a long day.
00:37:12Almost died a bunch.
00:37:14Yeah.
00:37:15Okay.
00:37:16Okay.
00:37:17Um, don't wait up, dear.
00:37:21Okay.
00:37:22Um, don't wait up, dear.
00:37:51Ready for another?
00:37:53Uh, yes, definitely.
00:37:56Al.
00:37:57Got it.
00:37:58Thanks, Al.
00:37:59Should I charge these to your room?
00:38:01Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm over in bungalow 12.
00:38:04Oh, the honeymoon suite.
00:38:07Where's your wife?
00:38:09Um, my wife is, uh, she's sleeping.
00:38:12It's a really long trip, and she's, she's pretty fried.
00:38:16It was my honeymoon?
00:38:17I wouldn't let my husband out of the bungalow.
00:38:19Ooh, that's naughty.
00:38:21Seems to me you need to inject a little more romance
00:38:23into your marriage.
00:38:24Yeah, you have no idea.
00:38:28What does she love?
00:38:32She loves to dance.
00:38:34Yeah, she's a dancer, and it, it sucks
00:38:36because I'm a terrible dancer.
00:38:38That's an easy fix.
00:38:40Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are we going?
00:38:42I'm gonna give you a dance lesson.
00:38:43Uh, you know, I don't, I don't think it's a great idea.
00:38:45You need to loosen up.
00:38:46Yeah, I know.
00:38:47Okay, show me your best dance move.
00:38:49My best dance move?
00:38:50Yep.
00:38:53Da, da, da, da.
00:38:55Okay, stop.
00:38:56You're kidding, right?
00:38:57Yeah, of course.
00:38:59Yeah, I thought so.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:01Okay, so concentrate on the music.
00:39:02Okay.
00:39:03And move these hips.
00:39:06Okay.
00:39:10And move these hips.
00:39:12Okay, these hips are moving.
00:39:15No, they're not.
00:39:17Okay.
00:39:19All right, close your eyes.
00:39:20Okay.
00:39:21And imagine you're with her.
00:39:26The scent of her perfume.
00:39:30The warmth of her skin.
00:39:34Yeah, I'm feeling it.
00:39:38I'm feeling it.
00:39:39I'm dancing.
00:39:40Yeah.
00:39:44Not good.
00:39:52Masha, come back and dance with me.
00:39:54Apparently you already had a partner.
00:39:56No, no, no, she was just teaching me to dance so I could impress you.
00:39:58He certainly did.
00:39:59No, hey, hey, hey, you know what?
00:40:01I'm not some playboy, okay?
00:40:03I mean, I, I, I know you hate womanizers.
00:40:06Ryan, Ryan, look, you don't know anything about me.
00:40:10I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't affect my citizenship.
00:40:13But flaunting yourself with some waitress on the first day of our honeymoon is just plain stupid.
00:40:18You're right, no, you're right.
00:40:21You're right.
00:40:23I'm sorry.
00:40:26You, you look amazing in this dress.
00:40:33This relationship is about me getting my citizenship and you paying debt to my father.
00:40:40Nothing more.
00:40:48Brickley.
00:40:49Yes, boss.
00:40:50Not enough goat in stew.
00:40:52Don't worry, I'll have a word with the chef.
00:40:55Have you heard from contact at the resort?
00:40:57No, they got hit by a storm.
00:40:59All the phones are down.
00:41:01I don't trust that photographer.
00:41:03I share your concerns.
00:41:04I'd like to go out there and keep an eye on him if it's all right with you.
00:41:32Hi.
00:41:34Hey.
00:41:35I got you into trouble last night, didn't I?
00:41:37No, no, you didn't.
00:41:39That was, that was my fault.
00:41:40Well, I know how you can make it up to her.
00:41:42I'm good, thanks.
00:41:44There's a secluded cove about a mile away from here, unbelievably romantic.
00:41:49You two could even swim naked if you wanted to.
00:41:51You know what, we'll probably stay here with the pool.
00:41:53I don't think she wants to see.
00:41:55Here, I drew you a map.
00:41:58I guarantee it'll solve all your problems.
00:42:08Hello, Mom.
00:42:09I'm lonely.
00:42:11Being cooped up here is about as much fun as a hemorrhoid.
00:42:13Maybe you should have thought about that before you slapped a police officer.
00:42:16I wasn't speeding.
00:42:17You deserved it.
00:42:18Hold on.
00:42:21Hey, dingle plumbing, but I'm not Walt.
00:42:23The kitchen sink smells like something crawled up in there and died.
00:42:26Yeah, wouldn't be the first time.
00:42:30Why are you answering your phone anyway?
00:42:32You should be bonking your wife.
00:42:35Mom, listen, I told you this is a business arrangement, all right?
00:42:38I mean, she's not even attracted to me.
00:42:40I wasn't attracted to your father, but that didn't stop me.
00:42:43Wham, bam, call the diaper man.
00:42:45That's all I'm going to say.
00:42:48That's all you had to say, Mom.
00:42:57Hey.
00:42:58Hey.
00:43:02Can you put some sunscreen on my back?
00:43:05Yeah, of course.
00:43:12Look, Mom, I'm sorry about last night.
00:43:14I overreacted.
00:43:15No, you know what, it was me.
00:43:17No, no, no, it was a stressful day for both of us.
00:43:19It was just...
00:43:20It's okay.
00:43:21It's okay.
00:43:22It's okay.
00:43:23It's okay.
00:43:24It's okay.
00:43:25Let's just pretend like it never happened, okay?
00:43:28Yeah, deal.
00:43:34You know, I know where there's a really nice lagoon.
00:43:39Okay.
00:43:40Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:43:41It's private.
00:43:42We can probably, you know, go skating.
00:43:44We can just swim there.
00:43:46Whatever you'd like.
00:43:47Whatever you'd like.
00:43:51How did you find out about this place?
00:43:54Um, honestly, the, uh, the waitress showed me a map.
00:43:58She, uh, she felt bad about, you know, what happened the other night
00:44:01and said that we should come here because it's going to be great.
00:44:04It's amazing.
00:44:05Yeah.
00:44:06Oh, hold that.
00:44:08Hold that.
00:44:09Oh, beautiful.
00:44:10Beautiful.
00:44:11All right.
00:44:12Yeah, Mrs. Whitehouse.
00:44:14Okay.
00:44:15Oh, yeah.
00:44:16Looking good.
00:44:18All right.
00:44:19Now give me one that says, why am I in a sailor costume?
00:44:23I'm a cat.
00:44:24Yeah, go ahead, laugh.
00:44:25That's pretty much my work day.
00:44:26And the pet owners that come in are crazy.
00:44:29Except for your mother.
00:44:31She's not crazy.
00:44:32She's terrific.
00:44:33She's awesome.
00:44:34And your dad, remember, go, go, go.
00:44:36They're not terrific people.
00:44:38They're criminals.
00:44:42But they're my family.
00:44:44You're not the only one with family problems.
00:44:49Everyone thinks my dad ran away.
00:44:53My mom actually killed him.
00:44:55Oh, my God.
00:44:57She buried him in the backyard.
00:45:00And actually I've seen two clients' dogs dig up my dad.
00:45:05I think they smelled him.
00:45:07It was a cologne thing.
00:45:08I don't know what it was, but, you know,
00:45:09they were sort of running around with my dad's bones in their mouth,
00:45:13like around the backyard.
00:45:14It was like a dog fight.
00:45:15You are so bad.
00:45:16What are you talking about?
00:45:17I needed therapy for that.
00:45:19Come on.
00:45:21Oh, my God.
00:45:33It's so beautiful.
00:45:35It sure is.
00:45:37All right, hold on.
00:45:38Can we take, like, two or three?
00:45:39A hundred.
00:45:40Just.
00:45:43All right, you know what?
00:45:46Let's do this.
00:45:47Come on, Miss Slider.
00:45:48No.
00:45:49Get in the water.
00:45:50Come on.
00:45:57Come on in.
00:46:00Yeah.
00:46:02I see how it is.
00:46:04What are you doing?
00:46:05Oh, it's on, baby.
00:46:06It's on.
00:46:08Oh, okay.
00:46:10You're in trouble, Miss Slider.
00:46:14Yeah, bullseye.
00:46:16Very smart.
00:46:17Now what are you going to do?
00:46:18Come on.
00:46:19Oh.
00:46:21Wait a second.
00:46:22Did you hear that?
00:46:23Oh, it's probably brick coming.
00:46:25How's the water, naked man?
00:46:26Don't hit my trunks, Marsha.
00:46:28If you want them, you have to come and get them.
00:46:29I'm serious.
00:46:30If somebody finds me here with you like this, I'm going to...
00:46:32Come on.
00:46:33You worry too much.
00:46:34It's probably an animal.
00:46:35Do you want me to look?
00:46:36Don't hit my trunks.
00:46:37Marsha, my trunks.
00:46:38Marsha.
00:46:39Marsha.
00:46:43Marsha.
00:46:45Very funny, Marsha.
00:46:47Where are you?
00:46:50Marsha.
00:46:53Great.
00:47:11Two o'clock.
00:47:12That'll be fine.
00:47:13Have fun.
00:47:14Gift shop.
00:47:16It's Gucci.
00:47:18I see you're enjoying your honeymoon, Mr. Lighthouse.
00:47:21I am.
00:47:22Have you seen my wife?
00:47:24The bellman just let her into your hotel.
00:47:25Oh, great.
00:47:26Thank you.
00:47:32Okay.
00:47:33Very funny ditching me like that.
00:47:38You Tarzan me Tanya.
00:47:40No, no, no.
00:47:41How did you even get here?
00:47:42Frequent flyer miles.
00:47:43Don't make me feel like I wasted them.
00:47:45Okay.
00:47:46No, no, no.
00:47:47You have to leave here.
00:47:48Right after I trim your head.
00:47:49Okay.
00:47:50Hello?
00:47:51Brian, it's your mother.
00:47:52Stop.
00:47:53Stop.
00:47:54Hey, Mom.
00:47:55Stop.
00:47:56Thank God.
00:47:57It sounds like you're finally getting down to business.
00:47:59Mom, I can't really talk right now.
00:48:01Pace yourself on the foreplay, all right?
00:48:04When you're hungry, everything looks tasty.
00:48:07It's so tight.
00:48:08That's all I'm going to say.
00:48:10Can you hand me my snake?
00:48:14Okay.
00:48:15You know what?
00:48:16Stop.
00:48:17I'm married.
00:48:18Okay?
00:48:19Get that into your head.
00:48:20It's Masha.
00:48:21It's Masha.
00:48:22Masha?
00:48:23Masha, where are you?
00:48:24We have your wife.
00:48:25We want $10 million U.S. dollars by 6 p.m. tomorrow.
00:48:28If you involve the police or any authorities, we will kill her.
00:48:32We will text back.
00:48:33We will kill her.
00:48:34We will kill her.
00:48:35If you involve the police or any authorities, we will kill her.
00:48:37We will text you the account number.
00:48:39I'm a pet photographer.
00:48:40I don't have $10 million.
00:48:41Then find someone who does if you want her to live.
00:48:50We should be okay now.
00:48:52Who are you?
00:48:55Where are you taking me?
00:48:57Shut up.
00:49:06I think Masha's been kidnapped.
00:49:08Don't look at me.
00:49:13Looks like it went well.
00:49:14Somebody kidnapped my wife.
00:49:15What?
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:17They took her from the lagoon where you sent us.
00:49:18What do you know about this?
00:49:20Nothing.
00:49:21And who's she?
00:49:22I'm his girlfriend.
00:49:23Who are you?
00:49:24You are not my girlfriend.
00:49:25Okay?
00:49:26Calm down.
00:49:27Tell me what happened.
00:49:31How are you?
00:49:33How are you doing?
00:49:36Your boy was in here last night.
00:49:38Dirty dancing with one of the waitresses.
00:49:40Stephen.
00:49:41It gets worse.
00:49:42Today I saw him take your woman into the jungle.
00:49:45Came back bare-assed.
00:49:46A couple of banana leaves over his Johnston.
00:49:48This boy is a real star.
00:49:55And that pretty much sums it up.
00:49:56I knew it.
00:49:58I knew the marriage was bogus.
00:50:00Nobody in their right mind would ever dump me.
00:50:02We have to call the police.
00:50:03No, no, no.
00:50:04They said they'd kill her if I called anyone.
00:50:06Well, they always say that.
00:50:07I'd go for it.
00:50:08I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
00:50:10She could die, Tanya.
00:50:12You know, I'm just trying to help.
00:50:13You don't have to yell.
00:50:14Where are you supposed to come up with $10 million?
00:50:16I don't know.
00:50:17I don't know.
00:50:18The only person I can think of is my father-in-law.
00:50:19Problem solved.
00:50:20Can we order some room service?
00:50:21Because I'm starving.
00:50:22Tanya, shut up.
00:50:24Please.
00:50:26God, if Masha's father finds out that I took her to the secluded lagoon
00:50:29where she happened to get kidnapped and I'm swimming naked,
00:50:32he's going to have me tortured and dismembered.
00:50:34There's no way I can ask him for the money.
00:50:37Then you only have one option.
00:50:38Yeah, and what's that?
00:50:40You have to rescue her.
00:50:42What am I, Batman?
00:50:43No, I take pictures of dogs just as freaking pirates for a living.
00:50:46I can't do that.
00:50:47I know this island inside and out.
00:50:49So does my cousin.
00:50:50We could help you.
00:50:51Oh, you can help me?
00:50:52No, thanks.
00:50:53You've helped me enough for one lifetime.
00:50:54You want to blame this whole thing on me?
00:50:55Well, maybe I should.
00:50:56Fine.
00:50:57I was just trying to make your marriage better.
00:50:58I mean, it's obvious that you love her.
00:51:00No, he doesn't.
00:51:01You heard him.
00:51:02He's just helping her get a green card.
00:51:04Look, Nuku Hiva isn't that big.
00:51:07We can find her.
00:51:09Besides, what other choice do you have?
00:51:13Open the door.
00:51:15Help!
00:51:16What?
00:51:17Go, go, go, go!
00:51:18What?
00:51:19Go, go, go, go!
00:51:20What?
00:51:21What are we supposed to do?
00:51:22Open the door!
00:51:23Oh, God.
00:51:28Hey, Rick, what brings you here?
00:51:30What brings you here?
00:51:31I'm Marsha.
00:51:39Don't get the wrong idea.
00:51:40God, I forgot to lift the chair.
00:51:43I should kill you right now.
00:51:44Oh, I promise.
00:51:45Ask Marsha.
00:51:46Hurry up.
00:51:47Jump.
00:51:48Where is she?
00:51:49I don't know.
00:51:50I don't...
00:51:51This hurts.
00:51:52Jump.
00:51:53I'll catch you.
00:51:54Are you crazy?
00:51:55Kill me.
00:51:56Jump.
00:51:57Ah!
00:52:00Nice catch, cougar.
00:52:05I just want to let you know that Brian is mine,
00:52:07so don't get any ideas.
00:52:09I just want to help him, do you?
00:52:11Well, yeah, when you put it that way.
00:52:13I need to find my cousin.
00:52:15What am I supposed to do?
00:52:17Buy some provisions.
00:52:18You think you could handle that?
00:52:20I can outshop you any day, sweetie.
00:52:27One last chance.
00:52:29Where is she?
00:52:31She's at the pool.
00:52:33She's at the pool.
00:52:34She better be.
00:53:00Where's Marsha?
00:53:02Tell me the truth or I'll break your sweet little neck.
00:53:08Ah!
00:53:09My cousin's here.
00:53:10Your cousin?
00:53:11Ed, he and the slutty waitress are going to try and rescue her.
00:53:13That's all I know.
00:53:18There's my cousin.
00:53:30Shh.
00:53:32We need to rethink this whole plan.
00:53:34We're wasting time.
00:53:35Ernesto can help us cover the whole island.
00:53:37Oh, Ernesto, great.
00:53:38That's right.
00:53:39My bird is all fixed up, ready to go.
00:53:41I'm 68% confident.
00:53:42Oh, 68?
00:53:43That's almost 70.
00:53:44Great.
00:53:45Oh, my God.
00:53:46Some big flying guy.
00:53:47He's just trying to kill me.
00:53:48What?
00:53:49Where?
00:53:50Right by the pool.
00:53:51He was looking for Sasha, Nasha, whatever her name is.
00:53:53What did you tell him?
00:53:54Everything.
00:53:55I'm no fool.
00:53:56It's over.
00:53:57I'm dead.
00:53:58No, you're not.
00:53:59You rescue her, you save her father $10 million,
00:54:01and you look like a hero.
00:54:03Decide quickly.
00:54:04You have an appointment with that guy's fist and elbow.
00:54:06Ah!
00:54:07OK.
00:54:08OK.
00:54:09We should go.
00:54:10We should go.
00:54:11We can't just leave me here.
00:54:12Let's go.
00:54:13We'll go.
00:54:14OK.
00:54:15Let's go.
00:54:16We go.
00:54:29Time to party.
00:54:30Oh!
00:54:31Oh, no!
00:54:32Oh, no!
00:54:33He's shooting!
00:54:34What are you doing?
00:54:35You better duck down, little lady.
00:54:36I need your foots.
00:54:37Your what?
00:54:38Your foot.
00:54:39Come on.
00:54:40Come on.
00:54:41Come on.
00:54:42Come on.
00:54:43Come on.
00:54:44Come on.
00:54:45Come on.
00:54:46Come on.
00:54:47Come on.
00:54:48Come on.
00:54:49Come on.
00:54:50Come on.
00:54:51Come on.
00:54:52Come on.
00:54:53Come on.
00:54:54Come on.
00:54:55Come on.
00:54:56Come on.
00:54:57Your foot.
00:54:58For what?
00:54:59For him.
00:55:00No!
00:55:01No!
00:55:02No!
00:55:03No!
00:55:04No!
00:55:05No!
00:55:06No!
00:55:07No!
00:55:08No!
00:55:09No!
00:55:10No!
00:55:11No!
00:55:12No!
00:55:13OK.
00:55:14You can try.
00:55:15All right.
00:55:16No!
00:55:17No!
00:55:18Now comes the unexpected fun part.
00:55:20Oh, fun part!
00:55:22Ah!
00:55:23Ah!
00:55:24Ah!
00:55:25Ah!
00:55:27Ah!
00:55:44Ah!
00:55:47Ah!
00:55:54Ah!
00:55:56Woo-hoo!
00:56:17We're here.
00:56:18All right.
00:56:21Ah!
00:56:22Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:56:24Setting fixed.
00:56:25More fixed than broken.
00:56:28You okay, little lady?
00:56:30What you did back there was amazing.
00:56:33We're just getting started.
00:56:42I get a ear stick. I need to sit up front with him.
00:56:47Ernesto!
00:56:55Here we go.
00:57:01Here we go.
00:57:09Um, I think we should hurry.
00:57:13We'll be long gone by the time he gets here.
00:57:16Come on, baby.
00:57:17Who's your puppy?
00:57:18Who's your puppy?
00:57:19Come on!
00:57:21Um, is there a problem?
00:57:23Yes and no.
00:57:24Hopefully, yes.
00:57:25Come on, puppy.
00:57:27Come on.
00:57:28Come on, baby.
00:57:29Oh, he's getting closer!
00:57:31Come on, Cuzz.
00:57:32Come on, Cuzz!
00:57:33Come on, Ernesto!
00:57:34Come on!
00:57:35Let's go! Come on!
00:57:36Oh, come on!
00:57:37Come on, baby!
00:57:39Come on, baby!
00:57:40Okay.
00:57:42Okay.
00:57:45What are you doing?
00:57:46What are you doing?
00:57:47Ah!
00:57:55Ah!
00:58:10We made it!
00:58:11Woo!
00:58:13Yeah!
00:58:14Now that is my idea of a good time.
00:58:17Yes!
00:58:18So tell me, mi querida,
00:58:20how are you involved in this?
00:58:22How are you involved in this adventure?
00:58:24She's his girlfriend.
00:58:26But Brian's married now,
00:58:28so that's kind of up in the air.
00:58:30I think I'm gonna be sick.
00:58:31May I offer you a tequila?
00:58:33Sure.
00:58:45Um, is this legal?
00:58:47We don't have all the accoutrements of my kitchen,
00:58:50but we try our best, huh?
00:58:59Don't worry about it.
00:59:01He's got a high tolerance.
00:59:06In bed!
00:59:10We're fine.
00:59:11We're fine.
00:59:20Yes.
00:59:21Boss, Marsh has been kidnapped.
00:59:25Who did this?
00:59:26I don't know.
00:59:27She was abducted when the photographer took her into the jungle to...
00:59:30To what?
00:59:31To steal her virginity.
00:59:33The arrogant git strolled into the hotel naked,
00:59:36and his bimbo girlfriends turned up, too.
00:59:38Do you think they're involved in kidnapping?
00:59:40Yeah, they must be.
00:59:42I don't know.
00:59:43I don't know.
00:59:44I don't know.
00:59:45I don't know.
00:59:46I don't know.
00:59:47I don't know.
00:59:48They must be.
00:59:51We must.
01:00:05What are you doing?
01:00:07Come on!
01:00:08What do you want?
01:00:11Get her in the shed!
01:00:18Come on!
01:00:25Hurry it up!
01:00:40No! No!
01:00:41No!
01:00:42No!
01:00:47What's that?
01:00:48Look!
01:00:51A little buggy.
01:00:53Cute.
01:00:56Get it off!
01:00:57It's poisonous.
01:00:58It's poisonous.
01:00:59Pull it away from the pitchers!
01:01:03You think they saw us?
01:01:04How would I know?
01:01:05You're a feisty one.
01:01:07What do you want?
01:01:09Do you even know who my father is?
01:01:11We sure do, sweetheart.
01:01:13Daddy's gonna pay a pretty price to get you...
01:01:15Shut up!
01:01:24Hey, did you guys see anything yet?
01:01:25Nothing.
01:01:26Just a very sexy, scared young lady.
01:01:42You need to eat something.
01:01:47This is what you bought?
01:01:49No!
01:01:51Sorry, they were all out of Bitch Illustrated.
01:01:53This is not food!
01:01:54What are we supposed to eat?
01:01:56I got it covered.
01:01:57What does he mean, scared?
01:01:58He's scared.
01:01:59He's scared.
01:02:00He's scared.
01:02:01He's scared.
01:02:02He's scared.
01:02:03He's scared.
01:02:04He's scared.
01:02:05He's scared.
01:02:06He's scared.
01:02:07He's scared.
01:02:08He's scared.
01:02:09He's scared.
01:02:10What does he mean, he's got it covered?
01:02:40Does this guy ramble?
01:02:48You are so primal.
01:02:58You know, we still have tomorrow.
01:03:01There's a fishing village right around that point.
01:03:03We could hike there after we get a little bit of rest.
01:03:07The locals might have seen something.
01:03:11Why are you even helping me?
01:03:14Because it's the right thing to do.
01:03:16And I owe you.
01:03:28Whoever you are, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into.
01:03:31Shut up.
01:03:33You're pathetic.
01:03:34And you're a spoiled little princess who needs to be taught a lesson.
01:03:38Hello?
01:03:39Help!
01:03:40Somebody help me!
01:03:42Be quiet!
01:03:44I told you to leave her alone.
01:03:49Now don't move.
01:03:58Get up.
01:04:08Get up.
01:04:14Are you sure about this?
01:04:19Two Americans were here a couple of days ago in a four-wheel drive.
01:04:23They bought a few days worth of provisions and some heavy fishing line.
01:04:26Obviously they went fishing.
01:04:28They didn't have poles and they drove into those mountains.
01:04:31Well, they sound really stupid.
01:04:34The road inland passes an old compound where some surfers used to shape boards.
01:04:38Somehow we missed it during the flyover.
01:04:41We could always fly back.
01:04:43We should hike in if we want to surprise them.
01:04:45How long is that going to take?
01:04:47At least two hours.
01:04:48Two hours?
01:04:50My God!
01:04:51Shut up!
01:04:52You shut up!
01:04:53How do you know these guys are the kidnappers?
01:04:55Or if they're even staying at this place?
01:04:57We don't, okay? But do you have a better idea?
01:04:59And I'm not talking about sitting here reading Cosmo's Ten Best Ways to Please a Man, Tanya.
01:05:03At least I don't tickle dog's balls.
01:05:06I did not tickle that dog's...
01:05:07Enough!
01:05:08Are you going with us or not?
01:05:15Fine.
01:05:17But I need to cool off first.
01:05:20You need to cool off first?
01:05:30She makes a good point.
01:05:43Excuse me.
01:06:00Where do you think our odds are, honestly?
01:06:04If you want to live, what else are you going to do?
01:06:09Yeah, well, it's not about me. I don't need more.
01:06:24Yeah?
01:06:26Did you call the police?
01:06:28No, they said they'd kill her.
01:06:31Look, I know I should have called you sooner, but...
01:06:35All right, the truth is, I think I really love your daughter.
01:06:38And right now, she's all I care about.
01:06:41I'm trying to find her, but...
01:06:45Right now, the odds kind of suck.
01:06:48So, if you don't hear from me by six o'clock, wire the money.
01:06:52The account number is...
01:07:06Yeah?
01:07:07Did you find her?
01:07:08Not yet, but that chopper's been spotted the other side of the island.
01:07:11I'm headed there now.
01:07:12Lighthouse call. Ask me to wire ransom.
01:07:14He is behind this, as we thought.
01:07:16And he'll pay with his life!
01:07:18She is only childbirth.
01:07:20If you do not find Masha by six o'clock,
01:07:24I will wire money.
01:07:26Do what you gotta do.
01:07:35Chopper never came back, but we're good to go.
01:07:39She's fine.
01:07:40Any problems on your end?
01:07:42Nothing I can't handle.
01:07:50I hate to interrupt your Club Med vacation, but I think we should get going.
01:07:55Do you mind if we try and go save her life?
01:08:02I think I sprained my ankle.
01:08:04Come on!
01:08:05Guys, we have to go!
01:08:06You're so insensitive.
01:08:09You won't leave me, will you?
01:08:11I'll catch up, cousin.
01:08:15This is so typical of you.
01:08:17You selfish, sexist imbecile!
01:08:21Listen, cousin.
01:08:23It wasn't my idea that when a man gets older, he becomes more attractive.
01:08:27And that it doesn't work that way for a woman.
01:08:30I see.
01:08:47Come on.
01:09:17Come on.
01:09:48Hey!
01:09:49I need to use the bathroom!
01:09:53Take care of it.
01:09:54Keep your hands off her.
01:09:57Yeah, fine.
01:10:18No!
01:10:20No!
01:10:22Where is she?
01:10:38Yes, yes.
01:10:39Oh, I'm liking all of this.
01:10:41How was your ankle, by the way?
01:10:42It was?
01:10:43Your ankle.
01:10:44You hurt your ankle.
01:10:45Oh, yeah.
01:10:46If I can find it, I'm working my way.
01:10:49I see a foot.
01:10:51Very nice.
01:10:56I thought I knew everyone on this island.
01:11:00So did I.
01:11:03You okay?
01:11:04My cousin just needs to get some sense knocked into him.
01:11:07He does.
01:11:17Ah!
01:11:20Where is your boyfriend?
01:11:22Not if he's here in the village.
01:11:25Where did he go?
01:11:27In the mountains?
01:11:31Okay.
01:11:32I'm going to take my hand away.
01:11:34You scream, I'm going to kill you.
01:11:36Do you understand?
01:11:40Ah!
01:11:46Ah!
01:12:02Hold still.
01:12:03Hold still.
01:12:04Come on.
01:12:09Holy shit.
01:12:11Come on, we got to get her back.
01:12:16Come on.
01:12:22Who is this?
01:12:23Brian, it's me.
01:12:24I got away.
01:12:25Marsha!
01:12:26Marsha, where are you?
01:12:27I'm trying to find you.
01:12:28There are sheds with a lot of junk and surfboards.
01:12:29I don't know.
01:12:30I ran up the main road.
01:12:35Idiot.
01:12:40They're coming.
01:12:41I got to call you back.
01:12:46Come on.
01:12:56What happened?
01:12:57I don't remember.
01:12:59Wait.
01:13:01The blood has returned to the head on top.
01:13:04We got to save that guy's life.
01:13:17Come on.
01:13:20Come on.
01:13:46Come on.
01:14:17Come on.
01:14:30Yeah.
01:14:31Where is she?
01:14:32She got away.
01:14:33She got away?
01:14:35What kind of idiots am I hiring?
01:14:37Well, get her back now.
01:14:47Come on.
01:15:06Thanks a lot, Brian.
01:15:07That big foreign creep smashed my face.
01:15:10How am I supposed to get modeling work now?
01:15:12You've ruined my life.
01:15:16Oh.
01:15:47Come on.
01:16:03Woo!
01:16:04Woo!
01:16:05Ha!
01:16:16Come on.
01:16:35Hey!
01:16:41No!
01:16:46No!
01:16:59Watch him.
01:17:00Watch him.
01:17:01Watch him.
01:17:02We got to go.
01:17:03We got to go.
01:17:04We got to go.
01:17:05Go.
01:17:06Go.
01:17:07Get down.
01:17:11No.
01:17:14No.
01:17:16Brian.
01:17:19Jump.
01:17:20Jump.
01:17:33Cool.
01:17:34Cool.
01:17:41Have you found them yet?
01:17:45They're in the valley.
01:17:50Look.
01:17:52Maybe we can use that.
01:17:54Let's hope it still works.
01:17:57Oh, my God.
01:17:58Go.
01:17:59Go.
01:18:00Go.
01:18:01Go.
01:18:02Go.
01:18:03Go.
01:18:04Go.
01:18:05Go.
01:18:06Go.
01:18:07Go.
01:18:08Go.
01:18:09Go.
01:18:10Go.
01:18:11Go.
01:18:12Go.
01:18:13Go.
01:18:15Go.
01:18:16Go.
01:18:17Paddle.
01:18:18Paddle.
01:18:19Paddle.
01:18:20Paddle.
01:18:21Paddle.
01:18:22Paddle.
01:18:23Paddle.
01:18:24Paddle.
01:18:25Paddle.
01:18:26Paddle.
01:18:27Paddle.
01:18:28Paddle.
01:18:29Paddle.
01:18:30Paddle.
01:18:31Paddle.
01:18:32Paddle.
01:18:33Do your phone.
01:18:34Try your phone.
01:18:35Da.
01:18:36Tata.
01:18:37Yasem, Masha.
01:18:38Masha, you OK?
01:18:39All good with him.
01:18:40She escaped.
01:18:41Masha, who is behind this?
01:18:42Who kidnapped you?
01:18:43Go, go, go, go!
01:18:45I got the phone!
01:18:46Go!
01:18:47Hello, hello, mansion!
01:18:56No more mistakes.
01:19:06My dad took me on a canoe trip once.
01:19:08There's slightly less shooting involved.
01:19:14What really happened to your father?
01:19:20He was in Antarctica and got attacked by penguins.
01:19:28They are not as cute as everybody thinks.
01:19:31You know how hard it was for me to put on a tuxedo at our wedding?
01:19:36The second I looked into the mirror, all I could think about was him fighting off.
01:19:44I'm sorry.
01:19:50Okay, okay, he's alive, but...
01:19:52God, he left us a long time ago.
01:19:54I don't know him.
01:19:55I don't know him.
01:19:56But my mom is crazy.
01:19:57I mean, she's, you know, under house arrest and the whole...
01:19:59Wait a minute.
01:20:02What?
01:20:03Do you hear that?
01:20:06My God, what are they saying?
01:20:09I don't know.
01:20:10I think they want us to paddle over.
01:20:13I can't believe the placemakers still exist.
01:20:26Do you have any idea what he's saying?
01:20:27Not really.
01:20:28He seems friendly.
01:20:29Maybe he can help us.
01:20:35Bad guys need help.
01:20:38Do you have a phone?
01:20:39A phone, yeah.
01:20:40Do you have a phone?
01:20:41Like an iPhone or a BlackBerry.
01:20:48Yeah, okay.
01:20:50God, I hope they know who he is.
01:21:11I don't know.
01:21:41May I?
01:22:12You look amazing.
01:22:14Clean up all yourself?
01:22:19Dancing under the moonlight in a jungle village?
01:22:22That's pretty much your ideal honeymoon, right?
01:22:26Is he yours?
01:22:29Will you marry me?
01:22:33I'm sorry, but I'm already married.
01:22:36I'm sorry, but I'm already married.
01:23:06. . .
01:23:30It was the third one I was most proud of.
01:23:33I didn't cry that time.
01:23:36I'm telling you.
01:23:44Let's go.
01:23:49Maitai, yes?
01:23:50Ananas.
01:23:51Farrawa Ananas.
01:23:53Weren't those amazing?
01:23:54Yeah.
01:23:55Now, if they only had some Jungle Cappuccinos, man.
01:23:58What's up?
01:23:59Duff it.
01:24:00Hey, Tilt-Tilt.
01:24:02What do you mean, uh, did it, Duff it?
01:24:04Huddle it.
01:24:04Oh, no, no, no.
01:24:05I was kidding. No toffee.
01:24:07Come on. Come on.
01:24:08Come on.
01:24:09Come on.
01:24:20So good.
01:24:28You two got to get the hell out of here.
01:24:31Wait a second. You speak English?
01:24:32Used to work Wall Street. Long story.
01:24:53Grab that lead.
01:24:54Got it.
01:24:55All right, get up.
01:24:56All right, go, go.
01:25:03Come on.
01:25:06Come on.
01:25:10Move.
01:25:32Move.
01:25:52Move away from her.
01:25:53No. No, no, he's going to kill you.
01:25:55Move. Move if you want her to live.
01:25:57Okay. Okay.
01:26:03Move.
01:26:09You okay, Marsha?
01:26:10Don't try to pretend like you just saved me.
01:26:12You hired him.
01:26:14What?
01:26:16I would never.
01:26:17I thought you loved me.
01:26:18I do.
01:26:19Then at least show some respect and be honest.
01:26:26Did they treat you well?
01:26:29Why would you do this?
01:26:31You're vicious, like your father.
01:26:33I thought that's what women like in a man.
01:26:35So you used his own daughter to steal from him?
01:26:37I did it for us.
01:26:38There is no us.
01:26:39We're getting married, Marsha. It's all been decided.
01:26:41I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on this planet.
01:26:44You're sick, violent and delusional.
01:26:46I never loved you and I never will.
01:26:48Okay, I don't think honesty is the best policy right now.
01:26:56What about this then?
01:26:58Your new husband, he's the kidnapper, not me.
01:27:01And I shot him.
01:27:02But not before I could stop him throwing you over the edge of the cliff.
01:27:05Such a tragic ending.
01:27:28No!
01:27:50The honeymoon is officially over.
01:27:54No!
01:27:57No!
01:28:03No!
01:28:05Oh my God!
01:28:27No!
01:28:58Signor, please allow me.
01:29:00Signorita, por favor.
01:29:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.
01:29:10Guys, guys.
01:29:13Let go of me!
01:29:15I'm okay, Mom. I'm okay.
01:29:19He didn't do anything.
01:29:28Hey!
01:29:30You saved my daughter.
01:29:32You saved me ten million U.S. dollars.
01:29:35And you exposed Brooklyn as traitor.
01:29:38Does that sound like a good reason to shoot you in the head?
01:29:41I don't think so.
01:29:51My wife say you have our blessing to stay married.
01:29:54Here, wedding gift.
01:29:57Take nine millimeter semi-automatic,
01:30:00low recoil, double action.
01:30:03Welcome to family!
01:30:17Here.
01:30:19Marsha, I love you so much.
01:30:21But I can't be married into this family.
01:30:44No.
01:30:46Let him go.
01:30:51Let him go.
01:31:17Come on, darling.
01:31:18Ham it up.
01:31:19Get it?
01:31:27What, Mom?
01:31:28Just because I'm under house arrest doesn't mean you have to be.
01:31:31Oh, come on, Mom.
01:31:33You really need to get out.
01:31:34Please, just don't start.
01:31:36How are you feeling?
01:31:38Never better.
01:31:39You're miserable.
01:31:40Pull your head out of your rear end and do something about this.
01:31:42It's not that complicated.
01:31:44That's all I'm gonna say.
01:31:49Younger looking skin.
01:31:55You up for a double dip?
01:32:04Something wrong?
01:32:06It's complicated.
01:32:10No.
01:32:12It's not.
01:32:15I don't know what to feel.
01:32:17I don't know how to say sorry.
01:32:25I know I've caused you pain.
01:32:27I wish that I could change everything.
01:32:34Forgive me.
01:32:38That's what I ask of you.
01:32:41Forgive me.
01:32:44And honesty
01:32:48is what I'll give to you.
01:33:11Forgive me.
01:33:42You still need your green card?
01:33:45What about my family?
01:33:47Why do you need mine?
01:34:11I love you.
01:34:21I love you.
01:34:22I love you.
01:34:41I love you.
01:34:44I love you.
01:35:09Do you like that?
01:35:10Have we done this one before?
01:35:12Talk to me.
01:35:13What kind of photographer are you?
01:35:15It's professional camera.
01:35:16I buy camera store.
01:35:17It's a flash.
01:35:18You put button and see?
01:35:20Professional.
01:35:40I love you.
01:35:41I love you.
01:35:42I love you.
01:35:43I love you.
01:35:44I love you.
01:35:45I love you.
01:35:46I love you.
01:35:47I love you.
01:35:48I love you.
01:35:49I love you.
01:35:50I love you.
01:35:51I love you.
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01:36:36I love you.
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