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Transcript
00:00I can't believe I get to go to school with you guys.
00:12I'm nervous, but in a good way.
00:14Like at the end of an escalator.
00:16Gosh, I love this feeling.
00:19You are literally a Smurf.
00:23And I have my best friends with me to show me the ropes.
00:28You just have to know who's who at Point Place High.
00:30There's the jocks.
00:31Hey woman, can I borrow five dollars?
00:35I repeatedly ask you not to call me a woman.
00:37But you're a girl, and girls are baby women, so vis-a-vis, can I get that five dollars?
00:42Why does he talk like that?
00:45This is a really bad school.
00:46That's where the horniest guys here hang out.
00:49Hey girl.
00:50Oh, as if.
00:51That's the Point Place Mafia.
00:56They think they rule the school.
00:58I don't care how many people died in that traffic pile.
01:00I want chocolate milk in the vending machine by end of day.
01:05Who's that?
01:09Stay away from them.
01:10Those are the baddest bitches at school.
01:11The staff approaching retirement.
01:13They've got nothing to lose.
01:15What the hell are you looking at, new kid?
01:18Grandma?
01:19Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
01:25Even in your fantasies, you're the nerd.
01:28Let's not rush this.
01:29We still have one more night left of summer, and we always spend it together on the roof
01:33of the school.
01:34Really?
01:35Yeah.
01:36Kind of sets the tone for the year.
01:38Inside that school, they're trying to put us in a box.
01:41You can't put us in a box, if we're on top of the box.
01:45I like to pee off the roof and try to make it into the trash can.
01:49Hey, everyone has their reasons, and that's why it's so special.
01:55We need good snacks this time.
01:57Last year, this one brought a watermelon with no knife.
02:01I didn't know how hard they were to peel.
02:03Cops, cops, everybody be cool.
02:07It's just my mom.
02:08Actually, today, I'm more cop than mom.
02:11Mom cop.
02:12I'd watch the hell out of that.
02:15Listen, I love that Leia's found her people.
02:18Seeing her surrounded with friends who love her warms my heart.
02:22But know this, you're all delinquents, and I trust none of you.
02:26What?
02:27We're just six American teenagers working hard and dreaming big.
02:32Gwen, sweetie, zip it.
02:35Everybody listen up.
02:37I see you.
02:38I've been you.
02:40And if you corrupt my daughter, I will destroy you.
02:44As for you, if you screw this up, you're going to the same all-girls school I was forced
02:48to go to.
02:50Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow.
02:53Does she get to wear the uniform?
02:57Ask me that again.
02:59No ma'am.
03:00Okay, mom, let's go have a cup of tea.
03:04They get it.
03:05Really?
03:06Does he get it?
03:07Does she get it?
03:08If you mess with her, you're going to get it.
03:10Mom, calm down.
03:12I am calm.
03:13Don't touch me.
03:14You know, that is so insulting.
03:20We're still getting Leia Blaze on the roof, right?
03:23Yeah.
03:24We're delinquents.
03:25This is what we do.
03:26Hanging out down the street.
03:27The same old thing.
03:28We do as we.
03:29Nothing to do but talk to you.
03:30We're all alright.
03:31We're all alright.
03:32I love Wisconsin.
03:43I am so excited that school is starting tomorrow.
03:47Oh, did I tell you that nurse's outfit I found on the sail rack is a bust?
03:53You don't need fishnets to chuck a kid for lice.
03:56Hold up.
03:57School's starting tomorrow?
03:58Why is it starting on a Saturday?
04:02Do you just wander through life until someone tells you what day it is?
04:13I'll be honest with you.
04:14Most days, you don't need to know what day it is.
04:17What is this?
04:19Where's the backpack I got for Leia?
04:20Oh, I returned it.
04:22Not enough pockets.
04:23But check this one out.
04:25This big pocket has a tiny pocket inside just for Chapstick.
04:30Come on.
04:31That is adorable.
04:34Okay.
04:36I get that this is coming from a good place, or a place that's so deeply rooted in who
04:41you are, we'll never change it.
04:44But don't you think you should have run this by me?
04:46The backpack you bought her, Donna, had one big pocket.
04:52That's how you lose a Chapstick.
04:54Brad, am I being unreasonable here?
04:58Always right, honey.
04:59Never been wrong.
05:02It's interesting.
05:03You're in charge of Leia the whole summer, but now Donna's bopping in and out.
05:06How exactly is that going to work?
05:10It's simple.
05:14I'm her mom, so I get final say on things.
05:16Well, I'm her grandma, and I've been doing a grand job so far.
05:21Listen, I was a teenager here.
05:24We did all kinds of bad stuff right under your nose.
05:26For real.
05:27I'm worried about your sense of smell.
05:28If you're talking about that pet skunk you had in the basement, I knew all about it.
05:34So have a little respect.
05:37Is this seriously going to be a thing?
05:39Only if you make it one.
05:42Kiss, kiss, kiss.
05:51It's a Mercedes now.
05:53Have you ever heard the phrase, putting lipstick on a pig?
05:56Heard it?
05:57I've done it.
05:58She looked beautiful.
06:00You guys, my parents just found out that I dropped AP Gov for music theory.
06:05They completely lost their minds and just got rid of my guitar without telling me.
06:09How could they do that?
06:10You love that guitar.
06:11I mean, you wrote that song, I love my guitar.
06:14Those were just lyrics you made up when I was tuning it.
06:17Just like your other song, Strummy Strum Strum.
06:21Strummy Strum, Strummy Strum, Strum, Strum.
06:24Do not get that song stuck in my head again.
06:27Wait, so where's your guitar now?
06:29At the pawn shop my mom goes to when my parents have a big fight.
06:32She sells her wedding ring and then makes my dad buy it back.
06:35Yeah, these are the people that are calling the shots in my life.
06:39Leia, you've got to come to the roof.
06:41I mean, you know how Ozzy hates everything?
06:43He loves this.
06:44I only hate stupid things.
06:45It's not my fault everything's stupid.
06:48Jay, you know I want to, but I can't.
06:50My mom will kill me.
06:52What if instead of the roof we do something during the day, on the ground, and inside the school?
06:58That's just school.
07:00Leia, I know your mom just tried to lay down the law, but that's exactly why you have to go.
07:05What if we get caught?
07:06I can't go to Catholic school.
07:08My calves won't hold up the socks.
07:10It's not going to happen.
07:12I thought of everything.
07:13Like, this year they lock the ladder to the roof.
07:16But easy fix, your grandma works there.
07:19I'll just swipe her keys.
07:21No way.
07:22You cannot steal my grandma's work keys.
07:24That's next level.
07:25She could get fired.
07:26Okay, okay, I get it.
07:28I'll have to find a different way up.
07:30Or down.
07:31Parachutes.
07:33See, babe?
07:35We've got options.
07:38Come on, Leia.
07:39I really want us to all be together.
07:41Let's do it.
07:42Hell yeah!
07:43Death to parents!
07:46We're just regular, hell yeah.
07:48Wait, how am I going to get out of here without my mom knowing?
07:51Leia, we're delinquents.
07:53This is what we do.
07:59Oh, thanks again for the ride.
08:01Smoother, right?
08:03That's German engineering.
08:13Yes.
08:16Why are your hands so wet?
08:18You can't ask me that.
08:20And even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it.
08:23Hey, Fenton.
08:24You work here now?
08:25You know this guy?
08:26He's our landlord.
08:27Former landlord.
08:29I fell in hard times and had to pawn all my things to this dreadful place.
08:32I only work here to keep my eyes on them.
08:34Get your sweaty Bratwurst off my land!
08:39Um, I'm just here for this guitar.
08:41Oh.
08:42Her.
08:43Um, she's a collector's item.
08:45Once belonged to the littlest pretty bunch boy.
08:50You can have it for 800.
08:52What?
08:53My parents sold it to you yesterday.
08:54I'm sorry.
08:55I'm sorry, honey.
08:56I need the funds.
08:57I'm addicted to teeth whitening.
08:59I'd rather die than let these chompers go yellow.
09:02Back away from the snakeskin boots!
09:04You do not have the arches!
09:08You don't understand.
09:09This guitar means the world to me.
09:11Oh.
09:12You delicate girl.
09:14I didn't realize it meant the world to you.
09:17I'm getting very emotional.
09:18Now it's a thousand.
09:20Come on, man.
09:21Why are you being such a jerk?
09:22Yes.
09:23I'm a little stinker.
09:26But I have something you want.
09:28And that's how empires are made.
09:35It's like a Batman villain.
09:39The Ponguin.
09:40I'm not in the mood.
09:47How's it been going with these two?
09:49It's been real quiet.
09:51But it's the kind of quiet
09:53where you don't know if they're retreating or reloading.
09:59I made shrimp fajitas for dinner tonight.
10:02Oh.
10:03You know I'm allergic to shrimp.
10:07Well, you've always been picky.
10:12My tongue swells and I can't talk.
10:14In that case, they're chicken fajitas.
10:19I know you two are in the middle of a thing,
10:20but it's pronounced fajitas.
10:22Let's carry on.
10:26Okay.
10:27Let's start over.
10:28I think I overreacted about the backpack.
10:31Thank you for always thinking of Leia.
10:33You're welcome.
10:35It's just that when I'm here...
10:36Oh, there's more.
10:39When I'm here,
10:40I need to know that you'll respect my decisions
10:42when it comes to her.
10:44So before you do anything,
10:45can you please just run it by me?
10:47Well, that sounds perfectly reasonable.
10:49I'm glad we talked.
10:51That was sweet.
10:52She will have one more thing to say.
10:56I have one more thing to say.
11:00And it comes from a place of love.
11:03Why do you always try to control everything I do?
11:09It is suffocating!
11:21Now she's done.
11:33Oh, my God!
11:37Leia!
11:40Sorry.
11:41I did dream about that once,
11:42and I was not gonna take a chance.
11:45It's a decoy in case someone comes in here.
11:49I wanted to use the inflatable man my mom has wine with, but...
11:53She was having wine with him.
12:02Grandma?
12:03It's a little late.
12:04Where are you kids headed?
12:06It's a night before the first day of school tradition.
12:10Same.
12:15Grandma, it's the last night of summer.
12:17I just want to hang out with my friends.
12:19Is that okay?
12:20I'm not sure.
12:21Your mother wants final say on every decision.
12:24What do I know?
12:25I'm just a six-time Mom of the Year award winner.
12:30And you know who gave me those?
12:32Her husband.
12:35So...
12:36Well, your mom would say no.
12:40So...
12:41Go have fun!
12:45Thank you, Mrs. Foreman.
12:46You're the best.
12:47I am the best.
12:48Thank you for seeing me.
12:59I got cantaloupes this year
13:00because Ozzie had so many problems with the watermelon.
13:05Did you bring a knife?
13:08These need them too?
13:14Look at us.
13:15We're on the roof.
13:16Leah Foreman's on the roof.
13:18Gwen Brunk is on the roof!
13:20If you keep yelling like that,
13:21then the police will be on the roof.
13:23Sorry.
13:24Just roof.
13:25So, how did you get us up here?
13:27Oh, I picked the lock with my pocket knife.
13:30You have a knife?
13:31I just lost my cantaloupe.
13:35Sucks we struck out at the pawn shop.
13:38It's fine.
13:40I think today was the wake-up call I needed.
13:42No more music.
13:44No more dreams.
13:47I guess I'll just be the first Filipino president.
13:50Or some dumb shit.
13:53That wouldn't be so bad.
13:54You'd get to live on Mount Rushmore.
13:57You know what sucks most about this whole thing?
14:03My parents act like they're looking out for me,
14:08but the truth is that they just don't believe in me.
14:15I don't even know what to say.
14:21I think Jay Leno might.
14:26Actually, I don't.
14:29This is a pretty heavy situation.
14:34Look, you can see the cows lining up
14:36to go into the cow daycare.
14:40Do you ever wonder why you don't see them come out?
14:44Guys, I made it into the trash can.
14:50And all around the trash can.
14:55My daughter, my backpack.
15:03Leah?
15:12Whoa.
15:14Delinquents.
15:17Oh, my God.
15:19I knew you were gonna steal my backpack.
15:23Bigger problems.
15:26She snuck out with her friends.
15:27I knew this would happen.
15:28Did you check all the bathrooms?
15:31Because when I wake up and Kitty's not there,
15:34next morning, I always find a copy of the Reader's Digest
15:39in the john downstairs.
15:42And that's how you stay married for 40 years.
15:46She's not here.
15:47You know how I know that?
15:48There's a freaking alien in her bed.
15:51Well, wherever she is,
15:52I'm sure she's safe and making memories with her friends.
15:57You seem a little too calm.
15:59I stay cool under pressure.
16:02I'm an award-winning mom.
16:07Uh-huh. What did you do?
16:08I didn't do anything.
16:09Did you know Leah went out?
16:10You bet your sweet cheeks I did.
16:15It was my call, and I made it.
16:16So you let my daughter go out in the middle of the night
16:19just to spite me?
16:20You're unbelievable.
16:22Oh, it is not that big a deal.
16:24Why do you smell like an ashtray?
16:28I let our granddaughter walk out into the dead of night.
16:32Let's focus on that round.
16:36This is ridiculous.
16:37Let's just go find her.
16:41Okay.
16:47I've been framed.
16:52Sometimes I come up here to catch teachers having affairs.
16:56That's how I got an A in woodshop.
16:59I can't believe we get to do this all year now.
17:02Oh, did you think I was gonna talk to you at school?
17:05I know you're kidding,
17:06so I'm not even gonna worry about it.
17:08We'll talk about it tomorrow.
17:10Right?
17:11Right?
17:12You have to tell me you're kidding right now.
17:13I'm kidding.
17:15I knew it.
17:16It was funny for both of us the whole time.
17:23I thought that would sound better.
17:26It'll sound much better if you play it.
17:30My guitar?
17:31How did you get this?
17:34Oh, you're back.
17:36If I don't leave here with that guitar,
17:37someone's gonna murder my entire family.
17:39I hope you said goodbye.
17:42Look, man, I'm not leaving here without that guitar,
17:44so what's it gonna take?
17:45Do you know Bette Midler?
17:47No.
17:48Then you have nothing I want.
17:52How about I trade you my van for that guitar?
17:54Hmm.
17:55Car for guitar.
17:57Hmm.
17:58Car for deal.
18:03And I need a ride to the school.
18:05Every day?
18:06No, just right now.
18:07Oh.
18:09I thought I almost had a friend.
18:13You did that for me?
18:15But you loved your van.
18:17You shouldn't have done that.
18:18Listen.
18:20Your parents might not believe in you,
18:22but I do.
18:25Nate.
18:29Damn, you make it hard not to love you.
18:33Is that hard?
18:34Stop talking.
18:36Okay, somebody take this.
18:43Are you crying?
18:46I'm just...
18:47I'm so happy for that guy.
18:51And I left my Game Boy in his van.
19:01Are we gonna watch these two perv out,
19:03or are we gonna end this summer on a high note?
19:08I'm a crazy good cantalouper.
19:11Maybe I should go pro.
19:14But if you go pro,
19:16you can't do it in the Olympics.
19:21Did you get better at kissing?
19:23I think my mouth just missed you.
19:25Like when you pick up your grandma at the airport.
19:28So is my mouth your grandma?
19:31I don't know.
19:33Let me check.
19:38Tonight's been so amazing.
19:42I'm never gonna forget it.
19:45What was I just talking about?
19:48I don't know.
19:50But I had to make this happen for you.
19:54I love you.
19:56I love you.
20:27Strong, strong, strong, strong, strong.
20:29Strong, strong, strong, strong, strong.
20:31Strong, strong, strong, strong, strong.
20:38Smoking grass on the school roof.
20:43That is the most dumbass thing
20:46that has ever been...
20:49Dumbass!
20:52Leia, this is so bad.
20:54Did you think I wouldn't find you?
20:55I know all the spots.
20:57Where are my keys?
20:58Is that how you got up here?
21:01Did you steal her keys?
21:03I told you not to do that.
21:06Leia, let's go. Now.
21:08Yeah, but I was gonna put them back.
21:10Stop.
21:11You just ruined everything.
21:19I thought I smelled a good time.
21:25I thought I smelled a good time.
22:25I thought I smelled a good time.

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