• 2 months ago
The Rifleman S04E08

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00:30He's almost got him pinned, Pa.
00:43Only one shoulder, referee.
00:44Oh, he's got you pinned good, Pa.
00:53You heard the referee.
00:54I give up.
00:58Lucas, you're not just humoring me because I'm the president.
01:02My word of honor, Mr. Lincoln.
01:13The Rifleman.
01:21Starring Chuck Connors.
01:27Abe, you get those bony knees off of Lucas.
01:33Oh, he was just having a little harmless fun, Sister Emma.
01:36Where are we, Lucas?
01:38I'll let you know how harmless after Doc takes a look at my back.
01:43I'm ashamed of you, Abe.
01:45Good rub, Dallas.
01:46It's a horse, Lindeman, and he'll be as good as new.
01:49Is this a way to treat a guest?
01:51And on your birthday?
01:52Well, I'll write my apology into the congressional record.
01:56Come on, now.
01:57Now, you get over there and wash up.
01:59You're bad boys, both of you.
02:01And you're not getting a mouthful of this birthday cake
02:03until I see clean hands and faces and ears.
02:07And don't forget to leave some room for supper tonight.
02:10That's right, Mr. Lincoln.
02:11Mark's been waiting a long time to have you taste his cooking.
02:14I'll leave some room, Mark.
02:17All those pictures were taken by Mr. Matthew Brady.
02:20They sure look like him, Mr. Lincoln.
02:23Unfortunately, they do.
02:25Mr. Brady was a great artist,
02:27but even he couldn't change a baboon into a peacock.
02:31You've got a nice face, Abe, when it's clean.
02:34Well, a baboon is what they call me in the newspaper.
02:37That was a long time ago.
02:39Now, come and cut your cake.
02:44Oh, Abe.
02:45First you make a wish, and then you blow out the candle.
02:48Yeah, of course.
02:50Yeah, of course.
02:52A wish.
03:02Man.
03:04My poor darling Angie.
03:11Blow out the candle, Mr. Lincoln.
03:13The wind and the rain beating on her grave.
03:20My, but you've grown, Mark.
03:22Just in these last few months.
03:24Expect I have, ma'am.
03:27You studying hard at school?
03:29I'm doing the best I can.
03:3312 months of schooling is all Abe Lincoln ever had.
03:37How's things at the ranch, Lucas?
03:41Everything's fine, Mr. Lincoln.
03:43I'm delighted to hear it.
03:46The man with the hoe is the backbone of the country.
03:49How are the good citizens of North Fork faring?
03:51Nothing unusual to report.
03:53The baby's in good hands.
03:55I'm glad to hear it.
03:57I'm glad to hear it.
03:59I'm glad to hear it.
04:01I'm glad to hear it.
04:03I'm glad to hear it.
04:05The report says babies are being born, old folks dying.
04:08But there's more born than dying,
04:09so imagine in a year or two, we'll just be a regular city.
04:13I have a hankering to see North Fork again.
04:15Now, Abe.
04:17We can bring him back in the morning, Emma.
04:19I don't like leaving him alone, Lucas.
04:22No harm will come to me.
04:24It's been a long time since I've been out of the house.
04:27I'm of the people, sister.
04:30I've got to get out and see the people every once in a while.
04:33I don't know what they're feeling first hand.
04:37All right Abe, but you behave yourself now.
04:40Is my frock coat pressed?
04:41It's hanging in your closet.
04:43But it smells of camphor.
04:44Wear something else.
04:45I can't Emma.
04:47People expect to see me in my frock coat.
04:51Look after him Lucas.
04:52Don't worry Emma.
04:53We'll take good care of him.
04:54You go on up and help him dress.
04:56All right.
05:00Who's Ann?
05:01Oh, I expect he was talking about Ann Rutledge, son.
05:03She was Abraham Lincoln's sweetheart they say.
05:06She died.
05:08Golly, he really thinks he's Abraham Lincoln, doesn't he?
05:11Well, he lost his own sweetheart during the war.
05:15He sure is loony.
05:16Mark.
05:17I'm sorry Pa, but you know what I mean.
05:22Well, let's just say he's a strange man, son.
05:24But he's also a kind man and a gentle man.
05:27Oh, I know Pa, and I like him.
05:29But I just don't understand what makes him
05:32pretend like that all the time.
05:34Well, son, everybody pretends sometime during his life.
05:37As a matter of fact, when you were a little boy,
05:39three or four years old, you had a little friend named Jesse.
05:43I don't remember any Jesse.
05:45Well, he was a little fellow you dreamed
05:47up in your imagination.
05:48As a matter of fact, you used to make
05:50your mother set an extra place at the table for him
05:52every night.
05:54Wonder what made me do that.
05:56Well, son, I imagine you were lonely.
05:58You needed a friend, so you made him up.
06:00Oh, yeah, Pa, but that's only kid's stuff.
06:03Well, son, grown-ups pretend for different reasons.
06:06Sometimes it's a means of running away from, well,
06:09from a reality they can't face.
06:13What happened to him?
06:15The war wounded some in strange, unaccountable ways, Mark.
06:22Abe is ready.
06:27Now, before we go, Lucas, I've got
06:29a little present here for Tad.
06:31That was Mr. Lincoln's son.
06:36It's a souvenir from old age.
06:38Mr. Lincoln, I don't think the boy's
06:39old enough to handle guns.
06:41This is a Colt that U.S. Grant carried when he took Vicksburg.
06:44I'd like the boy to have it.
06:46I know, but I don't think Lucas...
06:48It gives the president great pleasure to give it to the boy.
06:52All right, Mark, you can take it.
06:57Thank you, Mr. Lincoln.
06:59Well, shall we go?
07:00Oh, I can't go with you.
07:02I've got to get supper ready.
07:03We'll be home about 5 o'clock, sir.
07:05Enjoy yourself in town, Mr. Lincoln.
07:06Yeah, I will.
07:07You behave yourself, Abe.
07:08Yes, ma'am, I will.
07:10Oh, it's a fine day to meet the good citizens of Northwark.
07:13Bye.
07:14Bye.
07:15Bye.
07:16It's a fine day to meet the good citizens of Northwark.
07:19Bye.
07:20Bye.
07:46Would you like to stop by the hotel and rest a bit, Mr. Lincoln?
07:49Oh, I've been resting up all year for this, Lucas.
07:51Let's stretch our legs a bit.
07:53All right.
07:56Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...
08:02Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
08:05Fourteen, fifteen...
08:07How are you, Mr. Lincoln?
08:08In robust health, thank you, Susan.
08:10You faring any better with your schoolwork?
08:12Yes, sir.
08:13Teacher says since Mom gave me that tonic, I've been real smart.
08:17Columbus discovered America in 1492.
08:20George Washington signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776.
08:26Abraham Lincoln was born in 1809 and was a...
08:31Go on.
08:33And signed the Proclamation of Emancipation in 1862.
08:37Bye, Mr. Lincoln.
08:40Good morning, Mr. Taylor.
08:41Good morning, Mr. Taylor.
08:42Good morning, Mr. Lincoln. Good morning, Lucas.
08:44Sure is nice to see you at North Fork.
08:46Well, thank you very much.
08:47And how is business?
08:48It's looking up.
08:50Well, you know, those are the reports I've been getting from all over the country.
08:53It's looking up.
08:55That's a fine-looking rail splitter you got there.
08:58It sure is.
09:00Well, good day, Mr. McKeever.
09:02Well, good day, Mr. Lincoln.
09:03Good day, Lucas.
09:06Lucas, do you think we might...
09:08Mr. Lincoln, you know you're a teetotaler.
09:11Just a glass of water, Lucas.
09:12Oh, Lucas, by the way, that wood saw you ordered came in.
09:16You go on in, Mr. Lincoln. I'll be right back.
09:18All right.
09:21Hello, Mr. Lincoln.
09:23Mr. Lincoln, we're honored to have you in town, sir.
09:26What my pleasure, Mr. Swenson.
09:28Can I buy you a beer?
09:29No, thank you.
09:30A long, cold beer.
09:32Can I buy you a beer?
09:33No, thank you.
09:34A long, cold drink of water, please.
09:37It's been a long, dry journey.
09:39That road on a day like this can be fierce.
09:42Gentlemen, I give you the union.
09:45The union!
09:47Mr. Lincoln, in your honor.
09:56When I was young, I used to wait
09:59For my master and bring him his plate
10:02Passed down the bottle when he got dry
10:06And brush away the blue-tailed fly
10:10Chippy, crack, corn, I don't care
10:13Chippy, crack, corn, I don't care
10:16Chippy, crack, corn, I don't care
10:19My master's gone away
10:25Map says this is North Fork.
10:27I think we're lost somewhere in Bedlam.
10:30Bedlam?
10:32That's a madhouse.
10:35I want to meet my president.
10:37Don't cause trouble, Mr. Yorty.
10:39He ain't bothered you.
10:41Mr. Lincoln!
10:44Don't you recognize me, Mr. Lincoln?
10:46No, I don't, young fellow.
10:48You must be a stranger around North Fork.
10:51That's right.
10:52I'm from Virginia.
10:54I'm General Robert E. Lee.
10:58Why don't you go back to your table, mister?
11:01Thank you very much, Mr. Swenson.
11:04But I think I can conduct this conversation
11:07With this good man.
11:09I'm not a good man, Mr. Lincoln.
11:11I'm a bad man.
11:14I'm John Wilkes Booth.
11:18Bang, bang, you're dead.
11:21You're joshing me, sir.
11:23John Wilkes Booth is a tragedian.
11:27And you, sir, are a cheap clown.
11:31See, Mr. President, I'd sure enjoy listening
11:35To you recite Gettysburg Address.
11:41This is not the battlefield.
11:44This is a saloon.
11:46And you, sir, are drunk.
11:49A fond of drunks, Mr. Lincoln.
11:51I'll tell when they criticize General Grant
11:53For drinking a mite too much.
11:55You said, find out the brand
11:57And give some to my other generals.
12:00Why are you taunting me?
12:02You're loco.
12:04Do you hear me?
12:06You're loco as John Brown
12:09Whose body lies a-moldering in the grave.
12:11John Brown who shot my father down
12:14In cold blood at Harper's Ferry.
12:18Will you accept my apologies?
12:20I mean you no harm, citizen.
12:22I'm not your citizen, Mr. Loco.
12:26Mr. Lincoln is my name.
12:28All right, if you're Mr. Lincoln,
12:30You know who I am.
12:33Jack Armstrong.
12:37Jack Armstrong was a good wrestler.
12:40That's right.
12:42You want to take me on?
12:48I'd be proud to oblige you, sir.
12:52Mr. Swenson?
13:01I'm coming at you, Mr. Lincoln.
13:07Come on, Mr. Lincoln.
13:09Get him up, Mr. Lincoln.
13:11Come on in.
13:18Now you got me.
13:21Get him good, Mr. Lincoln.
13:23Get him good.
13:25That's it, Mr. Lincoln.
13:27Now you got him.
13:29Now you got him.
13:31Get him down.
13:33Get him good.
13:35Get him down there.
13:37Come on, get him in.
13:39Come on, now, Jack.
13:41Now you got him in.
13:43Come on now, Mr. Lincoln.
13:45Now you got him in.
13:47Get him, Mr. Lincoln.
13:50Now you got him.
14:02I've had enough.
14:04You got him, Mr. Lincoln.
14:06You surely got him good.
14:11Thank you, Mr. Swenson.
14:16Good day, gentlemen.
14:19Good day.
14:25You all right, Mr. Yorty?
14:27I think he broke my arm.
14:33He broke my arm.
14:42If you'd have been there, Lucas, you'd have seen him.
14:45I was only wrestling with him.
14:48It was along just good, clean fun.
14:51I've never hurt anyone.
14:53I know that, Mr. Lincoln.
14:55I'm sure he was just pretending when he said his arm was broken.
14:59Like he was pretending when he said he was John Wilkes Booth.
15:04You have another portion, Mr. Lincoln?
15:06No, thank you.
15:09He was taunting me.
15:12That's no excuse.
15:14I should have made light of his jokes.
15:19Mr. Lincoln would never allow himself to get taunted into a fight.
15:23Mr. Lincoln would have...
15:30Emma's going to be angry with me.
15:35I promised to behave myself, and I didn't.
15:39Mr. Lincoln, maybe you ought to go to bed now, huh?
15:42I guess you're right, Lucas.
15:44I am kind of tired.
15:48Maybe if I'd have done as he said
15:50and recited the Gettysburg Address,
15:53it would have satisfied him.
15:56The war's gone.
15:59Seven years ago.
16:02My father's brought forth one that called him a new nation.
16:07Conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition
16:09that all men are created equal.
16:13Now we are engaged in a great civil war,
16:16testing whether that nation or any nation
16:18so conceived and so dedicated can long endure.
16:22We are met here on a great battlefield of...
16:26Pa, why couldn't somebody have stopped that fight in the saloon?
16:30Well, son, in a way, I'm glad no one did.
16:32Nils told me the man was teasing him
16:34the way a mean boy teases a helpless pup.
16:37And Mr. Lincoln is no helpless pup.
16:40Matter of fact, he's every bit the wrestler the real Abraham Lincoln was.
16:43Well, come on, son, let's finish up these dishes and get to bed.
16:45We've got to get up early in the morning.
16:55Mike Smith.
16:56Dad.
16:57You finished shoeing my horse?
16:59I guess I made a fool of myself in the saloon last night.
17:02Drank myself to sleep after the doc set my arm.
17:05It hurt so bad.
17:06I figure your conscience ought to be bothering you worse than that arm.
17:09Yeah, I guess that's so.
17:11I was thinking this morning, however, I could set things straight.
17:14Somehow.
17:15Well, you might begin by apologizing to old Abe.
17:18That's exactly what I had in mind.
17:20Where could I find Abe?
17:21I think Lucas McCain took him out to his ranch.
17:24About five miles on the road south of town.
17:27Much obliged.
17:29Mr. Yorty, we got to be riding the marionette.
17:32Not until I apologize to Mr. Lincoln.
17:36And then kill him.
17:38Kill him.
17:40Nice work, Mr. President.
17:42Well, if Abe Lincoln can't split logs, who can?
17:44You two like to go hunting?
17:46I'm going to look for a couple of rabbits for dinner.
17:48Oh, no, Pa.
17:49We're going to stay here and split some more logs.
17:51All right, I'll be back in about an hour.
17:58Well now, Mark.
18:00Maybe you can try one.
18:02Oh, no.
18:03It takes me four to five whacks just to get one of those split.
18:07Well, none of you know how.
18:09You just have to concentrate on making that log your enemy.
18:14You say to yourself,
18:15if I don't split that log in one whack,
18:18something terrible is going to happen to me.
18:20Like, uh, I'm going to come down with the dropsy.
18:25See?
18:26And then you put all your strength and all your mind
18:28right into this sledge.
18:30And...
18:32You did it again!
18:34Of course I did.
18:36You don't think I want to come down with the dropsy, do you?
18:39Here now.
18:45Well, now you try it.
18:47Oh, I don't think I can.
18:49Sure you can.
18:50Now just rear back.
18:51Now steady now.
18:53Now, you've got to split this log in one whack,
18:56or, um...
18:58Your Pa's crop is going to be smothered by a dust storm
19:01and you won't have anything to eat for a whole year but beans.
19:05I hate beans!
19:12It worked, Mr. Lincoln!
19:14Well, you didn't think Abe Lincoln would lie to you.
19:18I better get these logs over to the woodshed.
19:36Mr. Lincoln!
19:39Well, good day, friend.
19:41Friend?
19:42Well, that's a mighty Christian attitude of yours to call me a friend.
19:47Now, you don't recognize me. You've got a short memory.
19:51Oh, you're the fellow I wrestled with yesterday.
19:53I'm deeply sorry.
19:56You stay right where you are, Mr. President.
20:01Put down that sledge.
20:03Put down that sledge.
20:07I wasn't going to harm you, sir.
20:09You stand still and I won't hurt you.
20:14I'll put a bullet through your brain, you won't feel a thing.
20:17Now, friend, I...
20:19You can't get it through that poor, clouded brain of yours.
20:23I'm not your friend!
20:25I'm going to kill you.
20:28Why do you want to harm me?
20:30Because I am a great patriot of the South.
20:34You didn't believe me yesterday.
20:37But I'm really John Wilkes Booth and I'm here to assassinate you.
20:41Drop that gun, mister, or I'll shoot.
20:46Drop it!
20:48I'll pull this trigger.
20:53Drop it!
20:54Mark, that's a souvenir gun. There are no bullets in it.
21:01Oh, please, mister, don't shoot.
21:05It's... it's defenseless.
21:08You just stay where you are, sonny.
21:14You're worse off than I thought.
21:17You could have bluffed me.
21:19You could have taken away my gun.
21:22I... I didn't think about that.
21:25But I'm going to kill you.
21:27I'm going to kill you.
21:29Oh, didn't you believe me?
21:32I... I believe you.
21:36Turn your head, Mark.
21:44Don't hurt him, Lucas. That's a load of McCain.
21:48Get out of here, mister. Right now.
21:53Sorry about the disturbance, Lucas.
21:57Poor fellow. War must have addled his brain.
22:02It was loaded.
22:04Yes.
22:05Then why did you tell me it wasn't? I could have shot him.
22:09I know.
22:12Of course, I'm... I'm not really so sure I could have.
22:16I know.
22:19We've just been through a bloody war, Mark.
22:22Boys not much older than you finding out whether they could or couldn't pull a trigger.
22:29Something I hope you never have to find out.
22:52Master! Master!
23:00Hello, Abe.
23:01Hello, sister.
23:05Did he behave himself, Lucas?
23:06You'd have been proud of him, Emma. He behaved just the way a great man should.
23:11Thank you for everything, Lucas. Mark.
23:13It was our pleasure, Mr. President.
23:15Bye, Mr. Lincoln. Aren't you going to stay for a bite of supper?
23:18No, we've got to get home, Emma. Bye.
23:20Bye.
23:22Bye.
23:35What's the matter, son?
23:37Well, Pa, is it really honest what we do with Mr. Lincoln?
23:42Is it?
23:45Son, do you remember when your grandma used to live with us a long time ago?
23:49Well, I was pretty young, but I remember a little.
23:53Well, she was 88 years old then, kind of feeble, could hardly even see.
23:57But like the rest of us, she still wanted to feel alive and useful.
24:01So every morning she picked up her broom and swept out the kitchen.
24:04She didn't do a very good job.
24:06So your mother and I would have to do it all over again.
24:09Now, were we being honest with Grandma?
24:12Not really.
24:13You see, to have been too honest would have been cruel.
24:15So we let her go on sweeping.
24:17Same thing with Abe.
24:19You see, son, it's not really a question of honesty.
24:23It's more a matter of kindness and understanding for a fellow human being.
24:31In other words, if you love someone, it just can't be dishonest.
24:34That's right, son.
24:47THE END
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