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00:00What up, friends? I'm Lavender from Ohio,
00:02and ever since I was born, I've been physically attached to my sister, Rose.
00:06Rose, we're live!
00:07Oh, yeah, like, subscribe, blah, blah, blah.
00:10Can we go now? I have to pee.
00:11Anyway, growing up with a literal human conjoined to me was anything but normal.
00:16We had to have clothes made especially for our joint bodies
00:19and go to doctor appointments every month for health checkups.
00:22Everyone treated Rose and I like we were some kind of magical beings.
00:25Once when we were in the fifth grade,
00:27this girl came up to us at the playground, squealing.
00:30The two-headed creatures from my book are alive!
00:32Oh, thank you so much for saving the kingdom!
00:35Can I have your autograph? Can you tell me my future?
00:37I can give you a mouthful of fist.
00:40Rose, what have I told you? Punching children is not polite.
00:43Also, it's borderline assault.
00:45You're right. I'm sorry. We'll tell you your future.
00:48But first, you have to drink a potion to ward off any evil that might come your way.
00:52Wait here while we get it for you.
00:54It's from a magical fountain called La Toilette.
00:58Rose gave the poor girl a bottle of toilet water every day that week
01:01until another kid caught her and reported her to the principal.
01:04My sister had an awful temper and messed with everyone who pissed her off.
01:08Eventually, my parents decided to homeschool us.
01:11Then one day when we were 16, our lives took a total 360.
01:15Mom and dad had gone bankrupt and we could barely afford to pay rent.
01:18So, Rose and I decided to get jobs to help our parents out,
01:22except there was one problem.
01:24Rose's anger problem kept getting us fired from everywhere we worked.
01:28Sorry to keep you waiting.
01:29Enjoy your buckets of greasy, chemically processed poison.
01:32What kind of demon are you?
01:34You run a movie theater and you're not showing the new MSA movie?
01:38You might as well just murder a kitten.
01:40There was only one way I could cope with all the insanity.
01:43By talking to my secret online friend, Bryce.
01:45We'd met on a video game platform and every night when Rose went to sleep,
01:49we'd talk on the phone for hours.
01:51My sister had ruined all my friendships, my school life and job,
01:55but my relationship with Bryce was untouchable.
01:58And one day, he gave me some advice to go back to a regular school
02:01so I could get to socialize and try to live a normal teenager's life.
02:05I just needed to teach Rose how to control her anger issues.
02:08So after I convinced my parents to send us back to school,
02:11I had a talk with Rose.
02:12We're starting 11th grade next month
02:14and we're probably going to be the only pair of conjoined twins.
02:17So, unless we want to be the school freaks again,
02:19we're riding on a freak show train.
02:21Wait, no, we never take the train.
02:22But if we want to go to a normal high school,
02:24you have to learn to control your psycho ways.
02:27Yeah, yeah.
02:28Why do you want to go back to real school anyway?
02:30Because I'm a 16-year-old girl with needs.
02:34I want to socialize that's so busy,
02:36it'll make jealous witches scream while looking at my Instagram.
02:39I want to be like other teenage girls.
02:41You know, have friends, go to parties,
02:43cry into a pint of ice cream after a breakup in a bathrobe.
02:46Why can't I have that too, Rose?
02:49Rose seemed to take my speech seriously
02:51because when we entered high school the next day,
02:53she was actually on good behavior.
02:55Even when kids inevitably stared, whispered, and pointed at us.
02:59But when lunchtime came, we got a wild shock in the cafeteria.
03:03Guess who?
03:04A weirdo with freakishly tiny hands.
03:06Uh-oh, wrong twin?
03:08Holy crud, it was Bryce.
03:10I recognized him from his Instagram photos.
03:12And boy, was he gorgeous in person.
03:14But what was he doing here?
03:16I'm so sorry, Lavender.
03:18I wanted to surprise you.
03:19When you told me the high school you were going to,
03:22I asked my parents if I could transfer
03:24so we could be in the same class
03:25and finally be real life friends.
03:28I really enjoyed talking to you
03:29over these past couple years.
03:31Also, are my hands that tiny?
03:33Uh, no, you hesitated.
03:35Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, my BFF was here at my school.
03:38And in person, he looked like a Roman god.
03:41Stay cool, stay cool.
03:42And I actually did.
03:44Bryce ended up hanging out with us after school
03:46and it was amazing.
03:47Then, towards the end of our evening,
03:49we were doing homework when Rose decided
03:51to cross-examine my friend.
03:53So, Bryce, I find it fascinating
03:56that you suddenly transferred to our school
03:58just to be closer to my sister,
04:00even though you two had never even met in person before.
04:03And when I went through your backpack,
04:06I found a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
04:07How interesting it is that Lavender loves chocolate.
04:10Um, almost 90% of the world's population likes chocolate.
04:14And what do you mean you went through my backpack?
04:17It's a thing I do.
04:17I go through everybody's stuff
04:18because I have trust issues
04:19and I'm convinced everyone's evil at heart.
04:21My therapist says it has to do with...
04:22Okay, this has been a delightful get-together.
04:25Bryce, I'll text you later.
04:26That night, I tried to go to sleep,
04:28but Rose wouldn't shut up about Bryce.
04:31She kept saying that he was shady and hiding something
04:33and that I should stay away from him.
04:35I didn't listen to her at first,
04:36but over the next couple of weeks,
04:38I wondered if my sister was onto something.
04:40While Bryce was handsome and sweet,
04:42he acted way different in person than online.
04:44He was constantly buying me expensive gifts
04:47and was always asking who I was texting
04:49and where I was going.
04:50It made me uncomfortable sometimes,
04:52but it was also flattering
04:53to have a gorgeous heartthrob be so into me.
04:56Plus, it was awesome for my popularity.
04:58So when Bryce eventually asked me out, I said yes.
05:01One day, Bryce invited us to dinner at his house
05:03so I could meet his parents.
05:05He lived in a pretty small apartment
05:06and the furniture looked like it was falling apart,
05:09but his parents were really sweet
05:10and everything seemed to be going well
05:12until Bryce invited me to his room afterwards to hang out.
05:15That was when Rose pulled me aside.
05:17So how are we gonna do this?
05:18Should I accidentally lock that creep in the closet
05:21while I search his room?
05:22Or maybe there's a way to make him mysteriously fall asleep.
05:25Can't you stop acting like a sociopath
05:27for one freaking minute?
05:28Just let me hang out with my boyfriend in peace.
05:31For the next couple hours,
05:32Bryce and I had a blast playing video games,
05:34checking out his comic books,
05:35and having deep conversations.
05:37He was so lovely.
05:38And more than anything, I wanted Rose to be wrong about him.
05:41Finally, Bryce passed out in front of his Xbox controller
05:44and Rose insisted we dig up some dirt on him before leaving.
05:48We searched his room for evidence of anything suspicious,
05:50but just as we were gonna give up,
05:52Rose found a hidden folder.
05:53And when she opened it, my heart dropped.
05:55It was a restraining order.
05:57Wow, look at that.
05:58Your boyfriend got a restraining order last year
06:00for stalking another girl.
06:02Everything makes so much sense now.
06:03Why a total stranger transferred to your school
06:05all of a sudden and immediately asked you out?
06:07I knew this guy was a sleazebag.
06:09This has to be some kind of mistake.
06:11I don't believe Bryce would do something like this,
06:13but Rose just told me I was in denial.
06:15And the next day, before I could even confront Bryce,
06:17she did the unthinkable.
06:19She brought a megaphone to school
06:20and made a huge announcement in the hallway.
06:23Attention, all ladies.
06:24You all know Lavender's mega hot boyfriend Bryce?
06:27That yummy smoke show you all wish you could date?
06:30Well, I have bad news.
06:32We discovered last night that Bryce is actually a criminal
06:35who got a restraining order for stalking.
06:38So consider this a warning before he puts any of you in danger.
06:41And for the record, you creep,
06:42this is also me telling you to stay away from me and my sister.
06:46Bryce just stood there looking pale with shock
06:49as everyone started staring at him and whispering.
06:52So Rose had been right all along.
06:54I had been such a naive idiot.
06:56I was just about to officially break up with Bryce
06:58when suddenly he walked over.
07:00How could you do this?
07:01Rose, these criminal records aren't what they look like.
07:04I've never stalked anyone.
07:06Well, according to your files, it looks like you did,
07:08which makes perfect sense since you immediately transferred
07:11to the same high school I was going to after I told you the name of it
07:14and asked me to be your girlfriend right away.
07:17I transferred to your school because I wanted a fresh start.
07:20Lavender, listen, I used to get bullied a lot at school.
07:23I was shy and awkward and didn't know how to interact with other kids.
07:27I also didn't always look like this.
07:29At one point, I had a crush on this girl and I tried flirting with her,
07:33but she wasn't interested, so I backed off.
07:35Though on the last day of school,
07:37she dropped this really expensive sweater on the floor
07:39and I wanted to bring it back to her.
07:41But since I didn't have her number, I followed her home.
07:44The second she saw me, she freaked out and accused me of stalking and harassing her
07:48before I got the chance to explain myself.
07:51Worst of all, my backpack zipper was open,
07:53so it looked like I stole her sweater for creepy reasons.
07:56It was all a misunderstanding,
07:58but I became even more of an outcast at my school after that.
08:01Lavender, you were the first friend I ever had.
08:04And when you told me you were transferring to a real high school,
08:07I just got excited and saw it as an opportunity.
08:11And yeah, I kind of had a crush on you,
08:13and I know I went over the top with the expensive gifts and stuff,
08:17but I never meant to make you uncomfortable.
08:19I just have never been good at talking to girls I like.
08:22I was speechless as Bryce told me all this.
08:24I had no idea he had suffered so much.
08:27I just threw my arms around him and started apologizing,
08:30begging him not to transfer schools again.
08:32But it was too late.
08:33Rose had already ruined his life here,
08:35even though she had just been trying to protect me.
08:38I was certain Bryce was going to break up with me.
08:40Days went by, and he didn't call or text or anything.
08:43Come on, how many times do I have to apologize?
08:46I know, we'll watch MSA together, but on YouTube, not on TikTok.
08:50I'm not letting you turn your brain to mush, sis.
08:52Thankfully, a few days later,
08:53Bryce came by and decided to give me a second chance
08:56since the criminal record drama hadn't been my fault.
08:59I thought everything was going to work out, except it didn't.
09:01I couldn't hang out with my boyfriend for two seconds
09:04without him and Rose fighting.
09:05Bryce accused her of messing with his life.
09:07Rose argued that she'd just been trying to protect me.
09:10And there was a lot of name-calling.
09:13You're just jealous because Lavender can get a boyfriend
09:15and you can't.
09:16Maybe it's because of your awful personality
09:19or the fact that you'd chew your food like a horse.
09:21At least I don't have biceps
09:23that look like Photoshopped soccer balls.
09:25Seriously, looking at your muscles gives me a stroke.
09:28Lavender, get up so I can make an important announcement.
09:31Who's that ugly dummy that my crazy sister loves?
09:33His hair's kind of crummy.
09:34His weird biceps hurt my tummy.
09:36He's little baby Satan from above.
09:38Enough with your freaking public announcements.
09:40Yeah, Rose's tabletop rap
09:43got us kicked out of the restaurant.
09:44And that night, after our movie date,
09:46Bryce and I had a difficult talk.
09:48I don't know how much longer I can do this.
09:50I'm not happy in this relationship anymore
09:52because of your sister.
09:53Why does she have to be so...
09:55Look, the two of us have been through a lot,
09:57being conjoined twins and all.
09:58I've always been able to be positive and keep my head up,
10:01but Rose took the trauma much harder.
10:03Bryce, if you really love me,
10:04you have to learn to love my sister too
10:06because she's literally part of me.
10:09Lavender, I'm sorry,
10:10but as long as she's here, I can't be with you.
10:13We're over.
10:14And just like that, Bryce broke up with me.
10:16I was devastated.
10:17Once again, Rose had unintentionally ruined my relationship
10:21and my happiness,
10:22and I felt nothing but anger towards her.
10:24Then, several months later, things got worse.
10:27Rose and I started having serious health issues
10:29and the doctors didn't know what to do.
10:31My parents had always been too scared
10:33to let us get the separation surgery,
10:35but as time passed,
10:36it was looking like we didn't have much of a choice.
10:38We had to take a risk.
10:39We were sitting in the hospital room
10:41an hour before our surgery
10:42when suddenly, Rose started to cry.
10:45I immediately asked her what was wrong,
10:46but she was almost too upset to speak.
10:49Lavender, I am so sorry about everything I've done to you,
10:53for making Bryce leave you,
10:54for getting us kicked out of places
10:56because of my anger problems.
10:58You turned out so normal
11:00while I turned out to be such a freaking train wreck.
11:03Don't cry.
11:04This is why we're getting separated.
11:06We can finally live our own separate lives.
11:08But I don't want to get the surgery.
11:10I don't want anything to happen to you.
11:12It hurt me to see Rose so sad and scared.
11:14Though, when we finally got the surgery,
11:16the doctors were amazed by our quick recovery.
11:19And yeah, we each had to get a prosthetic leg
11:21and it felt weird walking in my new solo body,
11:25but we felt healthier and happier than ever.
11:27We even got to do a news segment
11:29about our successful separation and make some money.
11:32Are you ready for your new life?
11:33Are you ready for a new boyfriend?
11:35Because that weirdo in the audience
11:37has been checking you out.
11:38Don't worry though, I won't wreck your love life this time.