• 4 months ago
Episode one with antique expert David Harper
Transcript
00:00David! Hello!
00:02How are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you?
00:04You're looking very jazzy and funky.
00:06Thank you. I love your trousers.
00:08Well, thank you very much.
00:10In the antiques world, you've got to dress the part.
00:12You've got to dress like an antiques dealer.
00:14You look like an antiques dealer.
00:16Thank you very much. You don't only look like one,
00:18but you are one. I am one, so they say.
00:20I know, I've been getting away with it for years.
00:24Well, what are we doing today, David?
00:26Well, I'm going to teach you some stuff. Yes.
00:28And you're going to make me some money.
00:30Yes, let's see. So I'm going to use David's money
00:32and we're going to get some items and we're going to
00:34sell them on and see how much we make. Exactly.
00:36Yes. And if I never hear from you again,
00:38I know it's all gone very badly wrong.
00:40Or very well.
00:42Put that.
00:44Oh yeah, equally.
00:46Right, off you go.
00:48Let's get David some money.
00:58Hey Chris.
01:00Hello Chris.
01:02How are you doing?
01:04This is Matilda.
01:06Hiya.
01:08She's cool, isn't she?
01:10She has a great YouTube channel.
01:12Oh, great.
01:14And she's interested in antiques.
01:16So she foolishly has asked me to advise her.
01:18Quite foolish to be honest.
01:20Hopefully you can tell me what to write about.
01:22I don't know.
01:24I don't know.
01:26Hopefully you can tell me what to write wrong.
01:28Well, I think if you look at...
01:30This used to be my shop, you know, many years ago.
01:32Did it? Really? I heard that you had one.
01:34I've had a few in Barney, but this one I had in
01:361996,
01:387, 8, 9 I think.
01:40Somewhere around there.
01:42So this building brings back very many
01:44happy memories. It's a very lucky building
01:46which is why Chris is a multi-millionaire.
01:48I wish I was a penny behind you.
01:50You can have a bit of my overdraft
01:52if you fancy that.
01:54I'll do you as well.
01:56Now, Matilda, look around
01:58and tell me what draws you in.
02:00Now, Chris is a bit of a military man.
02:02He loves his military.
02:04Do you like a bit of military?
02:06You do? Alright, okay.
02:08I'm going to follow you.
02:10If you don't mind, it's better if you come in.
02:12It's actually very warm in here.
02:14It's muggy.
02:25David?
02:27Yes?
02:29I've seen a few things in here.
02:31There's a perfume bottle there
02:33and there's a few perfume bottles here.
02:35Okay.
02:37They're very reasonable price.
02:39Yeah, they are. Okay, there's a good reason for that.
02:41So, why don't you grab that one out
02:43and let's have a look at that
02:45and tell me why
02:47you like it.
02:49By the way, Matilda,
02:51if you break anything, you've bought it.
02:53That's the rule of antique shops, right?
02:55So, do not break it, Matilda.
02:57So, no hand-fistedness.
02:59Right, tell me about it. Talk to me.
03:01What's your instinct?
03:03Well, it's got a nice colour.
03:05It's made to sit down, isn't it, a bit.
03:07I really like that.
03:09It's got...
03:11It's got that bit.
03:13That bit's got the bit of the perfume in
03:15and this is just for decoration.
03:17It is just for decoration.
03:19So, that's the bit that's got the actual perfume in it.
03:21Do you reckon it sits...
03:23No, it sits...
03:25It'll sit that way, like that.
03:27No, probably flat.
03:29But then how come it's see-through and it's got two flat sides to it?
03:31Hang on a minute.
03:33You're confusing me here.
03:35Blimey, I'm meant to be the expert here.
03:37Oh, she's the expert at everything, David.
03:39Honestly, I'm unemployed already.
03:41She's an expert go-karter now.
03:43I've heard that.
03:45Well, I was very close to the winner. I was only two seconds behind.
03:47I might challenge you to a go-kart.
03:49The winner of the year.
03:51No, no, no, I don't mean by the winner that day.
03:53I was a joint with her, the winner of the whole year.
03:55Joint with her? No way.
03:57Yeah, he was 16 seconds, mine was 18.
03:59Well, he's quicker than you, then.
04:01Only by two seconds, though.
04:03Oh, I thought you said you were a winner.
04:05No, I mean, I was a winner because I was so close to the winner of the whole year.
04:07But you can't say that you're a winner
04:09when you're actually a loser.
04:11No, because then I beat everybody else apart from her.
04:15So, who was the overall winner?
04:17Look, her.
04:19What kind of channel is this?
04:21This is how I win at all points.
04:23This is how it works, David.
04:25If you don't agree with her,
04:27she'll totally twist you around so much,
04:29you're so confused, you'll just say yes.
04:31I am confused. And congratulations for being a winner.
04:33Congratulations.
04:35I've never met a go-kart winner before,
04:37may I?
04:39Champion, David, champion.
04:41Champion?
04:43Can we get back to my world?
04:45We had three laps.
04:47If it wasn't for the fact that she went on the third one,
04:49I would have won. I would have beaten the child.
04:51Listen, we all now know that you're the world champion, right?
04:53Yes.
04:55It can go back to the antiques side.
04:57Come on, David.
04:59No, it's meant to sit flat.
05:01Because that flat piece is meant to sit on a table.
05:03Right.
05:05So you are right, there is the little bulb
05:07inside for your perfume.
05:09And all of this is completely unnecessary,
05:11which I love.
05:13Because it sums up humanity.
05:15We, as humans,
05:17don't just like functional things,
05:19we like beautiful things.
05:21And that is just for perfume.
05:23But it's beautiful.
05:25So when you're dabbing your perfume on,
05:27you're admiring
05:29the beauty of this thing.
05:31How does it work? Because if it doesn't have a spray thing,
05:33you just dab that bit on?
05:35You dab it the old-fashioned way, grandma's way,
05:37your mother's way.
05:39I think you spray it, love.
05:41I bought one of those ones
05:43where it has a little ball,
05:45and that was Victoria's Secret.
05:47Haven't used it yet.
05:49Well, you see, the Victorians would use a little dabber.
05:51So your little dabber,
05:53that looks almost like
05:55a decanter top,
05:57you would just dab behind your ears or on your wrists.
05:59But what you've got to make sure
06:01with these perfume bottles and with decanters,
06:03you've got to make sure
06:05that the stopper is tight
06:07and original.
06:09And with a decanter,
06:11and I'm sure the same would apply to a perfume,
06:13look at that, it's loose.
06:15If you drop it, that will just fall out.
06:17So you have to put it in.
06:19With a decanter, you turn it one and a half times
06:21to seal it.
06:23So let's just give it one
06:25and a half.
06:27Totally sealed.
06:29Well done, David.
06:31Do you know, I've done that before.
06:33Many would think you're an antiques expert.
06:35I know.
06:37You've done this before, haven't you?
06:39Yes.
06:41Fancy that.
06:43I once did that with Giles Brandreth,
06:45I'm going to name drop, my friend Giles Brandreth.
06:47We did a celebrity antiques road trip and I was showing off,
06:49which is very unusual.
06:51And I said, Giles,
06:53now Giles is very posh, very refined.
06:55I said, how do you seal a decanter?
06:57He didn't know and I was delighted.
06:59I said, you do this, you go one and a half.
07:01And as I went half, it went...
07:03And it smashed in my hand.
07:05And was it a really expensive one?
07:0730, 40 quid or something.
07:09Giles Brandreth loved it.
07:11Of course he did. He loved it.
07:13Because I looked a right plonker.
07:15Did you have to buy it after that then?
07:17No, I think because of BBC, I think they sort of
07:19insured against these things.
07:21So they bought it and I kind of slinked off
07:23into a corner.
07:25So no, I'm not the expert.
07:27Actually, I'm off.
07:29Oh my Lord, I know.
07:31It has two flat sides.
07:33Are you questioning my expertise?
07:35Yes, you will be.
07:37Is it supposed to be sat that way around?
07:39Hang on a minute, Matilda.
07:41Oh David.
07:43Oh my Lord.
07:45Yes, she is.
07:47She is the expert.
07:49You've just completely ruined
07:51my reputation.
07:53I'm ruined.
07:55It's over, Chris. My whole career is over.
07:59Not really.
08:01It doesn't really make any difference
08:03to me, really.
08:05Matilda, you are a star.
08:07You are right.
08:09And I apologise because I didn't
08:11examine it
08:13as well as you did.
08:15You are so right, Matilda.
08:17It could sit that way, so I'm only half right.
08:19But it was designed.
08:21I didn't spot that.
08:23Yeah, alright, stop being clever.
08:25We know you're right.
08:27Do you want to keep on?
08:29I know.
08:31You brought this child up.
08:33I know.
08:35You are right.
08:37Well done.
08:39And then of course you'll see the colour of the...
08:41Right, I think I'd better go back
08:43to the drawing board.
08:45Do you know why I'm wrong with this?
08:47Why?
08:49Well, I'm going to test you. I'll tell you why I'm wrong.
08:51Because it's not an antique.
08:53It is so far from an antique.
08:55This was made last Tuesday.
08:57Did you make it, David?
08:59I'm just making a point, really.
09:01I think it's still rather lovely.
09:03But it's a brand spanker.
09:05Brand spanking new.
09:07In the Victorian style.
09:09Murano.
09:11So has that been purposely made to be tricked as an antique?
09:13No, no, it really hasn't.
09:15So is it mass produced?
09:17Yes, it is mass produced.
09:19But it's still very lovely.
09:21And I don't have a problem with it.
09:23Even though it's mass produced?
09:25Yes, well it wouldn't be inexpensive.
09:27You could maybe go as far as saying
09:29it's sort of vintage.
09:31It's second hand, obviously.
09:33So what sort of age would you put on it?
09:35It's probably not much older than 20 years old.
09:37I'd still really like it.
09:39I mean, it's lasted all that time it's glass.
09:41You see, to you, Matilda,
09:4320 years is a long time.
09:47If I had that glass object,
09:49it wouldn't be broken by now.
09:51Yes, it probably would with all your go-karting
09:53and rally driving.
09:55Well, how much is it, first of all?
09:5720.
09:59It's no money, is it?
10:01It's 20.
10:03Sorry.
10:05So,
10:07you want to make some money in the world of antiques.
10:09You want to make money out of this.
10:11So how would you think you would make money?
10:13First of all,
10:15well, you know the old saying,
10:17your profit is in your buy.
10:19So always,
10:21always buy with your head.
10:23You search with your heart.
10:25You buy things you love.
10:27Because you've got to be passionate about them.
10:29Because if you're not passionate about them, you won't learn anything.
10:31You get the passion.
10:33Buy with your head.
10:35So you make sure that you attempt to buy it
10:37at a decent price, first of all.
10:39And then you become an expert in it.
10:41You study it.
10:43You learn everything you can about it.
10:45And I can teach you how to do that.
10:47Some little pointers to go through.
10:49And then you sell it.
10:51And you will be the number one expert.
10:53Of course you will, because you are Matilda.
10:55You will be the number one expert in the world
10:57on that particular perfume bottle.
10:59Yes, I will.
11:01I think we could do a little deal with a few.
11:03Why are you going mad here?
11:05What about that one? That one looks nice.
11:07Art Deco.
11:09Oh no, that's not that.
11:11So perfume bottles.
11:13No, again, no.
11:15Not huge age.
11:17That one looks nice.
11:19David, why don't we put it back.
11:21Then have a look around the rest of the shop.
11:23And try and do a deal on a few things.
11:25Deal on a few things?
11:27Yes.
11:29Oh, I'm getting excited here.
11:31This is good.
11:33Put it back, David.
11:35He's not interested in that.
11:37That man's not listening to us.
11:39We're not interested in that perfume bottle.
11:41He's a wise old man.
11:43Exactly how old is he?
11:45I would say that's
11:47late 70s, early 80s.
11:49He's as old as that.
11:51Is it late 70s, early 80s?
11:53If Chris says so, fine.
11:55I would say 20 years.
11:57We're not far out, are we?
11:59In the scale of things, 20 or 40
12:01makes no difference with an antique.
12:03It's contemporary.
12:0570s onward you're looking at.
12:07It's modern in relation to antiques.
12:09He's right.
12:11You put it back, Matilda, because you remember
12:13break it, you bought it.
12:15Now, wouldn't that make a great video, Matilda?
12:17If you broke that.
12:19No, don't break it, Matilda.
12:21Put it back, Matilda.
12:25David is going to show me how to age a globe.
12:27I am, and I'm giving
12:29away trade information here,
12:31Matilda, that is worth a lot of money.
12:33You said to me that you want trade tips
12:35on how to make money in the world of antiques.
12:37Well, when you're looking at a globe,
12:39like everything in this business,
12:41you've got to be able to date it
12:43instantly.
12:45A little rule of thumb,
12:47how to date a globe.
12:49Do you know how to do it?
12:51It's the countries.
12:53You've got to memorise the country names
12:55that have changed over the years
12:57and get a bit of an idea
12:59of when the countries changed.
13:01I'll give you an example.
13:03Can I pull this out, Chris?
13:07Let's have a look.
13:09My home continent is Africa.
13:11So, as a young man,
13:13I spent a number of years
13:15growing up here, in Zimbabwe.
13:17Now, Zimbabwe
13:19wasn't always called Zimbabwe.
13:21It was once called Rhodesia.
13:23And prior to Rhodesia,
13:25Southern Rhodesia.
13:27So there were time points
13:29when that country
13:31changed name.
13:33So there it is there, described as Zimbabwe.
13:35I know
13:37that Zimbabwe became Zimbabwe
13:39in 1980.
13:41So instantly, you know
13:43this globe is post-1980.
13:45It's not antique.
13:47And the same would apply with loads
13:49of countries in Africa.
13:51Another one is Sri Lanka.
13:53Prior to being Sri Lanka, it was called Ceylon.
13:55So if you know these
13:57little date marks,
13:59Thailand used to be called Siam.
14:01So you can just glance at a globe,
14:03particularly when you're filming,
14:05you can answer the globe,
14:07and you can date it accurately.
14:09That's actually incredible. I never thought of that.
14:11Top tips.
14:13It would be obvious if
14:15Africa was somewhere completely different
14:17when they just didn't know exactly where everything was.
14:19But yeah,
14:21I never thought of that.
14:23It's a good tip.
14:25And globes are always good news.
14:27They're always popular.
14:29Somebody made a joke on my YouTube
14:31about, I can't fully remember it,
14:33but basically said
14:35you couldn't have a
14:37real life-sized globe,
14:39could you?
14:41To scale that was it.
14:43I thought that was absolutely hilarious.
14:45Who has ever actually thought that?
14:47A life-sized globe.
14:49Well, it's just...
14:51Well, we've all got one. We live on it.
14:53Yeah, and we're actually on the globe.
14:55I like that.
14:5740 quid. It's no money, is it?
14:59I mean, it's a modern thing.
15:01But every house should have a globe.
15:03I just find it fascinating.
15:05My globe's a bit rubbish.
15:07Have you got one?
15:09Well, it puts the sea, so the land
15:11is the same colour as the sea.
15:13And it all just blends in.
15:15Well, that's a rubbish globe.
15:17And England looks messed up. The rest of the countries look messed up.
15:19Is it a very cheap globe?
15:21Yeah.
15:23In fact, I'm going to test you now.
15:25Have a look at this map.
15:27That is a beauty.
15:29Yeah.
15:31Roughly, rule of thumb, how old is that globe?
15:33Well, he told me
15:35and I've completely forgotten the date, so that's not going to help.
15:39Find Africa.
15:41Find Africa. Here's Africa.
15:43That's South America.
15:47No, that's Australia.
15:49Where is it gone?
15:51There's Africa.
15:53I've got Africa. I can't see Zimbabwe.
15:55Do you know why?
15:57Well done.
15:59It isn't Zimbabwe.
16:01But it sort of is.
16:03But it wasn't Zimbabwe then. Look at that.
16:05So that one's a lot older.
16:07Well, there we are.
16:09Go further up.
16:11Do you remember I said it was called Rhodesia?
16:13Yeah.
16:15And even earlier called Southern Rhodesia.
16:17And just north of it, which is now Zambia,
16:19was called Northern Rhodesia.
16:21So, there we have
16:23what is now Zimbabwe.
16:25Southern Rhodesia.
16:27So that is pre
16:29about 1963.
16:31Pre that.
16:33It might be 1900
16:35or 1960.
16:37But it gives you that rule of thumb
16:39because before 1900 the country didn't really exist.
16:41What have we got there?
16:431930s.
16:45Illuminated.
16:47Oh, that's lovely.
16:49Lovely orange colour.
16:51Bakelite. You've heard of Bakelite?
16:53Bakelite is one of the world's first plastics.
16:55So it is plastic
16:57but it's collected.
16:59People love Bakelite.
17:01It's hard. Look at it.
17:03It's heavy.
17:05Bakelite.
17:07Look at that.
17:09But it's got that marble-y
17:11brown finish to it.
17:13It's a beautiful material
17:15but it is plastic.
17:17Very smooth and very hard.
17:19Beautiful, isn't it?
17:22Interestingly,
17:24we wouldn't be able to talk about that on the BBC.
17:28Do you know what that is?
17:30What it was made for?
17:32I got told.
17:34It's an ashtray.
17:36Because Chris shouted in the background,
17:38It's an ashtray!
17:40So I can't leave that in my mind now.
17:42But it's a fun one.
17:44Funnily enough, on antique shows now on the BBC
17:46we wouldn't be able to talk about that.
17:48What is it? The fact that it would be an ashtray?
17:50Because it relates to smoking.
17:52But it is an ashtray.
17:54It is absolutely an ashtray.
17:56But we wouldn't be able to talk about it
17:58because it relates to smoking.
18:00So they don't like to talk about it.
18:02But it's a portable ashtray.
18:04Does that screw up?
18:06Yeah.
18:08So think Poirot.
18:10Have you ever watched Poirot?
18:12The TV series with the Belgian detective.
18:14You must watch it.
18:16It's very good.
18:18It's to see the Art Deco period.
18:20And this comes from the Art Deco period, doesn't it?
18:221920.
18:24And Poirot, you'll often see him wandering around the room
18:26entertaining, chatting to people
18:28with his own personal ashtray.
18:30And that's it.
18:32It's made to carry around, flick your ash in
18:34and then you empty the contents
18:36and off you go.
18:38You can even put it in your pocket or your briefcase
18:40and take it with you.
18:42Your pocket would be a bit smelly.
18:44It would be a bit smelly.
18:46Yeah, things melt, don't they?
18:48One of my favourite...
18:50Not my favourite ashtrays, one of my favourite
18:52aftershaves
18:54is called...
18:56It's all dirty cigarette ends.
18:58Yes, it is.
19:00It's called Baki
19:02and Beer.
19:04Something like that.
19:06And you've got an ashtray.
19:08Yes, and it's very expensive.
19:10I think it's Baki and Beer.
19:12It can't smell of Baki and Beer.
19:14It's like an old pub in the 1980s.
19:16And you put that on yourself.
19:18I love it!
19:20Unless you're Sniff Davy.
19:22Fortunately for you, I've run out.
19:24Yeah, thankfully.
19:26I thought he was wearing it.
19:28I wonder what that smell was.
19:32Thanks for watching and watch out for episode 2
19:34coming next.
19:36Don't they usually do quite well?
19:38I've seen them before, don't they?
19:40What have you seen them on?
19:42TV shows.
19:44That you're usually in.
19:46I do a deal with Chris
19:48and get some more items.
19:50You haven't dicked her up.
19:52I seal the deal.
19:54Come on, Chris.
19:56You can do it, Chris.
19:58There you go.
20:00Well done.
20:02But this is my money.
20:04I don't know why I'm clapping.
20:06Watch out for episode 2
20:08for when I buy more items with David's careful eye
20:10and we seek out places
20:12to sell them.
20:14We're here at Antiques and Auctions
20:16and we're going to see if Garth
20:18can sell our stuff there
20:20to make David a profit.
20:22And I get to become the auctioneer.
20:26Watch out for episode 2
20:28to see if I can make David Harper
20:30some money back
20:32and see if he successfully
20:34made me into an antiques dealer.
20:40You
20:42You
20:44You
20:46You
20:48You
20:50You
20:52You
20:54You
20:56You
20:58You

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