Nearest And Dearest. S03, E07. The Ghost Of Picklers Past. 1969 Christmas Special.
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00They've all gone.
00:06Nearest and Dearest, P584, Program Number 17, Part 1, Take 1.
00:1010 seconds, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
00:31Music
00:56Like a turkey sandwich?
00:58Oh no, not again. Oh, since yesterday we've had grilled turkey, fried turkey, roast turkey, turkey pancake, turkey with custard on, turkey with chocolate sauce on.
01:07Now I know why they call it turkey trots.
01:11You've got to eat it up, you know, it's a big bird.
01:13Are you sure it was a turkey and it wasn't a deep frozen ostrich?
01:16Of course I'm sure it was a turkey, I'm the one that had to stuff it.
01:21It's the first turkey I've ever seen with five Parsons noses.
01:25Look, what are you doing, sat sitting there? Why aren't you in there with our guesses?
01:30Because I'm sick of them.
01:31What do you want to invite Lily and Walter for?
01:33It's Christmas, isn't it? Lily and Walter are our own flesh and blood.
01:37Get away, Lily's got no flesh and Walter's got no blood.
01:41Look at you, you should talk, eh? The methylated spirit of Christmas.
01:47I wasn't all that drunk.
01:49You came in here on your hands and knees, you said you were Father Christmas and tried to go up the chimney.
01:54You might have told me fire was still lit.
01:57Might have told you, I never see you. What a Christmas I've had.
02:00I'd have had as much fun if I'd have been buried under 600 weight of coal.
02:05Anyway, it's all over now, isn't it?
02:07It's not all over at all.
02:08Now get in there now, take these and have a bit of fun with our Lily and Walter.
02:13All right, we'll have a game of hide and seek and I'll go and hide in Spread Eagle.
02:21Oh, they're still here, the Fairy Queen and King Rat.
02:24I can take your sandwich, will you?
02:26No, thanks, love.
02:27Are you not? Oh, he's still playing with his present.
02:32He loves it, he loves it.
02:35I am glad we bought it for him.
02:37As soon as he woke up this morning he went straight for it.
02:43You're not doing it right, love.
02:45Not playing with it right, you see.
02:47You've got it a bit mixed up, it's the other end, you see.
02:50You look through it like that, you see.
02:52And you'll see a lot of painted windows, like, beautiful.
02:55What do you expect, to see a Polaris submarine?
02:58He's always like that in the festering season, him.
03:02Let's play another game, shall we?
03:04We'll not play another game.
03:05I had enough with that last game of Hunt the Slipper.
03:07It were ridiculous, with your Walter in it, you know.
03:09I got my shirt sleeve absolutely wet through reaching down to pull it out.
03:13There's one game we haven't played yet.
03:15Ah, and we're not playing that with you, are there?
03:17I meant charades.
03:19Oh, yes, let's play that, and I'll be it.
03:21That's it.
03:22Now, I've got to write down some kind of name or place, and you've got to get it.
03:31Well, can you spell knotted?
03:35I'll knot you in a minute.
03:39There's many a slip, twixt carp and lip.
03:46Now, I've written it down.
03:47Now, I've not told you what it is, you see, because I'm not going to.
03:50See, what I'm going to do is a sort of a pantomime, Walter, with me body.
03:58Like Isidora.
04:00More like Isibon.
04:03Get on with it, Vanilla.
04:04Oh, shut up, you.
04:05I'll just give you the first part of the word, shall I?
04:09Oh.
04:11Rack of Welsh.
04:13No.
04:14Look, I'll give you a proper clue.
04:16Now, there, there's many a...
04:20There's many a knicker.
04:23Oh, I nail him.
04:25You have a guess, go on.
04:26Can we not play an monopoly again?
04:28Oh, yes, I like that.
04:31Especially when I landed on Walter's waterworks.
04:36You don't know how you earned him not paying for it.
04:40Well, I'm not going to apologise.
04:42Because, I mean, he'd have been in jail, you know,
04:45if his dice hadn't rolled into that custard.
04:48I say, Lily, what did your Walter buy you for Christmas?
04:51As a matter of fact, when I got into bed on Christmas Eve,
04:54I got a lovely surprise.
04:57It was a new electric blanket.
04:59Hey, Walter, you ought to be very careful, you know.
05:01Electric blanket and your rubber sheet.
05:04You could go up in a puff of smoke.
05:07You'd be laying there like two grilled ham chops.
05:10What's your real like, aren't you?
05:13You're asking, aren't you?
05:14Well, you know, I mean, anybody else buys the relations
05:17lovely things like effluvious udical acne, you know.
05:21Him, a bicycle pump.
05:26Well, I got it for the woman that has everything.
05:28I haven't got everything.
05:30I haven't got everything.
05:32I haven't even got a rotten bicycle.
05:35You can borrow Walter's three-wheeler.
05:37Hey, and that wasn't the only thing I got you.
05:39No, no.
05:40No, he bought me these earrings.
05:43He said he got them off a Swiss diamond merchant
05:47that he bumped into in the Gents in the Spread Eagle.
05:51Are they precious stones?
05:53More like gold stones, I guess.
05:56Anyway, I still have to have my ears pierced.
05:58Well, have your nose pierced at the same time.
06:00Shut up.
06:01Christmas is not what it was, is it?
06:03No, it's not.
06:04My goodness, at one time you had all your relatives
06:06all round you, everybody, you know.
06:08I mean, where are they now?
06:09Scattered to the corners of the earth.
06:11Like Strangeways, Dartmoor and Pentonville.
06:15We've had some happy Christmases, though, haven't we, love?
06:17Oh, we have.
06:18I mean, I can always remember getting up on Christmas morning,
06:20coming downstairs and falling over my dad.
06:24First thing, when I used to wake up,
06:26I used to say to me mam,
06:28has he been?
06:31Aren't you, Walter?
06:36Oh, I meant, Father Christmas.
06:38Hey, that reminds me.
06:39I'm supposed to be playing Father Christmas.
06:41Yeah, well, the way you're knocking it back,
06:42you should be playing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
06:45No, I've got to put some in his Stan and Grenville stocking,
06:48like two buckets of disinfectant.
06:50They're not working today, are they?
06:52Oh, yes, they are.
06:53They're down at the factory there
06:55doing some adulterations to a wall.
06:59Hey, there's nothing like the old-fashioned craftsmen, is there?
07:02Sacrificing the Christmas holiday to get on the job.
07:06What are you talking about? Sacrificing?
07:08Think what they're saving at home in gas, light and water.
07:11Hey, and they have the flaming cheek to ask for money.
07:14Yeah, the workmen are not what they were, you know.
07:16It's all grab, grab, grab.
07:18Anyway, goodwill to all men, eh, love?
07:20Goodwill?
07:21Yeah.
07:22Well, I'll get off.
07:23Ooh, that'll be a big surprise for her.
07:25Aye, that'll have a big surprise come payday.
07:27I'm docking them for two turkey sandwiches and two brown ales.
07:31I'm the little boy in a tent, he's my god.
07:37No one knows I didn't have a lot.
07:41I know what you do want.
07:43Oh, hello, Mr Ely.
07:45Merry Christmas.
07:47Merry Christmas.
07:49Well, how's it with you?
07:50You were happy enough in Spread Eagle yesterday,
07:52sat on Vinnie Guevara's knee,
07:54playing Come All Ye Faithful on your paper and comb.
07:56Aye.
07:57I should never have had that special Christmas lunch at Spread Eagle.
08:01Well, what, did a pint of bitter with tanner in it?
08:03No, I was eating me Christmas pudding and I was that drunk,
08:07I had a sprig of holly as well.
08:10Aye, we had to take him straight to the doctor.
08:13What did the doctor say?
08:15He hoped everything worked out all right.
08:17Anyway.
08:18Anyway.
08:19No, he said he didn't know whether to give me opening medicine or weed killer.
08:24Well, get that locked down, anyway.
08:26Hey, how's job coming along?
08:28Oh, it's hard work.
08:29Hey, this wall must have been up under here.
08:32I wonder what's behind it.
08:34Here you find some funny things behind walls.
08:38Is that where your man found you, is it?
08:41Hey, anyway, we'll soon be through.
08:44Ah, well, one good run and sit with your head should do it.
08:46Oh, by the way, to show us what us gaffers think about you workers at this time of day,
08:50we want you to join in fun, you see.
08:52Oh, hey, that's nice.
08:54We'll be right across when we've done here.
08:56You will, I was like.
08:57Ah, Nellie sent that for you, that for you, and that's from me to you.
09:04You've got to give your mind to it, you know.
09:06I mean, you've really got to give your mind to it, you know, and consecrate.
09:11I'm sure we're doing us best, Nellie.
09:13I don't know, what about you, Walter?
09:15I mean, look, he's mucked up the game again.
09:17Oh, what's he done this time?
09:19Well, he's got Mr. Bundabaker there all the time.
09:23Hey, come on. Oh, cards, is it?
09:25Right, come on, put that one away.
09:27Get all them matchsticks off table.
09:29We'll have a proper gamble.
09:30We'll play for that chocolate money Walter got in his stocking.
09:33Listen to Danger Man, you big girl's blouse.
09:37Where do you think you are in America?
09:39Here, gambling with fruit gun machines and one-legged bandits?
09:46In Las... Virgins.
09:50Hey, Las Vegas.
09:52Las Virgins. Las Vegas is a bingo hall in Blackpool.
09:59What are we going to play, eh? I know, Walter, we'll play strip poker.
10:03Oh, no, we won't.
10:06Lily might lose.
10:08Well, I'm not playing anyway, and neither is Walter.
10:11He's given up gambling at cards.
10:13Hey, Luke, he's got Dead Man's Hand.
10:16Hey, I had that the night before we were married.
10:19Looking at Walter, I'm surprised you didn't get it on your wedding night.
10:25Does that mean that something shocking is going to happen?
10:30But it didn't, did it?
10:32Not so you'd notice.
10:34Oh, well, I don't think that cards can castrate your future, you know.
10:39I mean, though, when I come to think about it,
10:42I did have a funny experience, you know, in a tent on Ashton Market.
10:48Full of Eastern promise, was he?
10:50No, he was one of those clairvoyants, you know.
10:54And, you know, one of those that see everything through their crystal balls.
11:01What did he tell you?
11:03Well, he put it on the table...
11:07..and he said to me, he said, sort of,
11:09eyes down, you see, and Luke in.
11:13And so I was leaning, Luke in there.
11:18He said, I've got a strong feeling coming over me.
11:24For money.
11:25And what happened, Ellie?
11:27I said, no wonder I said, you've got your hand in me handbag.
11:32Oh, you daft, it's the same fellow as Aunty Beattie went to at Morecambe.
11:36That's right, he told me she'd go outside and meet a tall, handsome stranger.
11:40Ah, and what happened?
11:42She went out, jumped on her bike and knocked Jimmy Cliver over.
11:45Well, there's bound to be disappointment, you know,
11:48if you put your trust in crystal balls.
11:50You see, you've got to get in touch.
11:52Well, how shall I say? Direct.
11:56What do you mean, Lily?
11:58Well, you know, with them on the other side.
12:02Oh, you mean those that were here but have sort of passed on?
12:06Well, she don't mean her that chippy next door, does she?
12:09You mean the dead?
12:12Caneerers, do you think?
12:14Well, I'm only saying what I know.
12:16I went to one of them seances once,
12:19and we spoke to all sorts from beyond the grave.
12:22Did you really?
12:23And this medium, she said to me,
12:25that I was a bit gifted that way,
12:27and that if I tried, that I could speak with the dead.
12:30Well, you've had a lot of practice, haven't you?
12:35I mean, you've, er...
12:37You've lived with Walter for 30 years, haven't you?
12:40Shut up, you.
12:42You mean, Lily, you could take one of those seances, you know?
12:45Do you think you could?
12:47Well, I don't know. I mean, I dare say.
12:49Well, it's up to you.
12:51Well, I don't know. Quick word.
12:55All right, then. Well, I'll have to put the lights out.
12:58Oh, what do you mean, then? We'll have to start sitting in the dark?
13:01I mean, looking into nothing, won't we, Blackness?
13:04No, you see, they need a little light to guide them.
13:07Oh, do they?
13:08So I'll just light these Christmas candles.
13:10Mmm. It's gone out. Just a sec.
13:13That's it.
13:18Ooh. God, it's dark, isn't it?
13:21Blub-blub-blub!
13:24Round your wits, folks.
13:26What do we do now?
13:28Well, we all put our hands on the table.
13:30We put our hands on the table, like that.
13:32Yeah.
13:34Number...
13:38Well, it won't be, because we haven't decided who we're going to get in touch with yet.
13:42Happen it were Vinnie Govira.
13:44What do you mean? Is he not dead?
13:46She looked at you when she fell off that stool at Spread Eagle yesterday.
13:49I just thought, like, if she kicked buckets last night, we could have a word with her, or we'll...
13:53If you save a trunk call.
13:55She's not dead. I mean, we don't want to, you know, just talk to anybody.
14:00I mean, er...
14:02Couldn't we try and get me dad, eh?
14:05Eh? What do you think?
14:07That depends, Nelly.
14:08Where on?
14:09On opening time up there.
14:11I mean, they're about to have a Christmas extension, you know.
14:13If they haven't, who'll be our last?
14:16We just don't want to talk to any dead body, do we?
14:19I mean, couldn't we try and get me dad?
14:22Well, you can't always guarantee that, Nelly, love.
14:25You see, sometimes you bump into a restless spirit, what's missed its way.
14:30Now, that can be dangerous.
14:32Anyway, come on, we'll try. Put your hands up.
14:35Right. Close your eyes, dear.
14:38If you can hear me, knock twice.
14:41And ask for Lily.
14:42Sure.
14:46Yes, sir.
14:50If you can hear us, Joshua Pledge,
14:53knock twice for yes and once for no.
15:00Can anybody hear us?
15:06I've put the empties in the kitchen.
15:09There are.
15:11Oh, sir.
15:13Here, I can feel something.
15:15Get your hands back on table, Walter.
15:19Something's happening. I can feel the vibration.
15:21Yes, so can I.
15:23Hey, we shouldn't be doing this to Lily.
15:25Let's not do it.
15:26Somebody's trying to get in touch with us.
15:28Somebody wants past Tom.
15:39What the hell's that?
15:40I found him behind the wall.
15:42The rest of him's in there.
15:44He's in a bad way.
15:46I tried to kiss her life.
15:50He's a goner.
15:54I heard of a fella who once went missing in this factory.
15:58My father told me.
16:00It would be through Billy Buckley's granddad.
16:04Ah, now you mention it.
16:06What's the name of him?
16:08Do you mean before or after he married that young tart?
16:13Oh, after he married her.
16:15But before he started drinking heavy.
16:18Well, what were he doing in there?
16:20I don't know. He had a spanner in his hand.
16:23I think he must have been repairing that boiler flue and died on the job.
16:28My dad told me that everybody thought that he'd run off with that heiress
16:34to a scrap iron fortune from Ecclington.
16:37Hey, I hope she's not still waiting for him at the bus station.
16:43Oh!
16:46Oh!
16:49She's going into a stupefied trance.
16:52Oh, copper bucket of cold water, all right.
16:55Oh, I'm back.
16:57Oh.
16:58Where have you been?
16:59Up at Nicky Nashton.
17:01Anyway, I've had enough. I'm going out and flaming drink, I am.
17:04Oh, take the notes off him, Lily.
17:06You carry on. Go on, get your hands on the table.
17:09Let's, er, let's try and get me dad, eh?
17:12Oh.
17:14Oh.
17:16Oh, I can feel something, Lily.
17:19Can you?
17:20Oh, I can feel something, oh, Lily.
17:23Oh, yes, oh!
17:25Oh!
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39:26I often come and sit here and have a little talk with you and ask your advice
39:31about whether we should have any more red pickled cabbage or if we should have
39:35some smaller jars to pickle in. I see, I realise he's not really very interested
39:45you can't blame him in one sense but on the other I mean it comes very hard on
39:49me you know dad, because I mean after all I'm only a woman. Is that you Nellie?
40:02You are? I've got a message for you. Have you dad? Yes I love you and Eli loves you
40:15and you mustn't worry about him. Must I not dad? No you must always let Eli have
40:26his own way and go down to the pub when he wants to. Why dad? Well there is a
40:34reason I'll tell you when you join me up here. It won't be long now. No just a minute dad I'm sure I
40:47realise I'd just like to have a word with you I mean I won't be long because he's
40:51only just now gone to bed. Ta-ra then, don't forget I love you and Eli loves you, over and out.
41:04Hang on dad, he's coming up now.
42:04They've all gone. Nearest and Dearest, P584, program number 17, part one, take one.
42:34Six, five, four, three, two, one.
43:04Like a turkey sandwich? Oh no not again. Oh since yesterday we've had grilled turkey, fried turkey, roast turkey, turkey pancake, turkey with custard on, turkey with chocolate sauce on. Now I know why they call it turkey trots. You've got to eat it up you know, it's a big bird. Are you sure it was a turkey and it wasn't a deep frozen ostrich? Of course I'm sure it was a turkey, I'm the one that had to stuff it.
43:32It's the first turkey I've ever seen with five persons noses. No, what are you doing sat sitting there? Why aren't you in there with our guesses? Because I'm sick of them. What do you want to invite Lily and Walter for? It's Christmas isn't it? Lily and Walter have their own flesh and blood. Get away, Lily's got no flesh and Walter's got no blood. Look at you, you should talk eh? The methylated spirit of Christmas. I wasn't all that drunk.
43:59You're all that drunk. You came in here on your hands and knees, you said you were Father Christmas and tried to go up the chimney. Well you might have told me fire was still lit. Might have told you, I never see you. What a Christmas I've had. I'd have had as much fun if I'd have been buried under 600 weight of coal. Anyway it's all over now isn't it? It's not all over at all. Now get in there now and take these and have a bit of fun with our Lily and Walter. Alright, we'll have a game of hide and seek and I'll go and hide in spread eagle.
44:30Oh they're still here, the fairy queen and king rat. I can take your sandwich will you? No thanks love. Are you not? Oh he's still playing with his present. He loves it, he loves it. I'm glad we bought it for him. As soon as he woke up this morning he went straight for it.
44:53You're not doing it right love. Not playing with it right you see. You've got it a bit mixed up. It's the other end you see. You look through it like that you see and you'll see a lot of painted windows like beautiful. What do you expect to see a Polaris submarine? He's always like that in the festering season isn't he? Let's play another game shall we?
45:14We'll not play another game. I had enough of that last game of hunt the slipper. It were ridiculous wearing your Walter in it you know. I got my shirt sleeve absolutely wet through reaching down to pull it out. There's one game we haven't played yet. Ah and we're not playing that with you either. And then charades. Oh yes let's play that and I'll be it. That's it. Now I've got to write down some kind of name or place and you've got to get it.
45:42Well can you spell knotted? I'll knot you in a minute. There's many a slip twixt carp and lip. Now I've written it down. Now I've not told you what it is you see because I'm not going to. See what I'm going to do is a sort of a pantomime Walter with me body. Like Isidora.
46:11More like Isibon. Get on with it Vanilla. Oh shut up you. I'll just give you the first part of the word shall I? Rackle Welsh.