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  • 3 months ago
A relaxing getaway turns deadly for a former marine, who must risk his life to save his wife and best friend from a modern day pirate.

DIRECTOR: Chris Helton
STARRING: Casper Van Dien, Judd Nelson, Brianne Davis

- Thriller
- 2019


*
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Transcript
00:00I want you so bad, baby.
00:11I can see that.
00:13Who's there?
00:16No one's here, baby.
00:18No one's here.
00:20No reason to stop what you're doing.
00:22No, I don't like it.
00:24I feel weird.
00:25All right.
00:26I got a super idea.
00:28It's gonna make you freak out.
00:30Come on.
00:31Okay.
00:53Been saving this baby for you, baby.
00:57Double trouble lover.
01:08No, please, no!
01:10Hey, lovers.
01:33I thought I told you not to fuck up my weekend with your ugly-ass faces.
01:37Dude, we're not gonna miss our own ride because you say so, baby.
01:40That's guitar, man.
01:42I can't believe this.
01:43Our last weekend together and I have to listen to this shit?
01:46You guys know you suck, right?
01:48Put the guitar down, Phil.
01:49Or what, man?
01:51Or nothing, man.
01:52Why do you have to be such a fucking douche all the time?
01:56What'd you call me, Chip?
01:58It's Chad.
01:59God, what did we ever do to you?
02:01Music sucks.
02:03Kick his ass.
02:04Yeah, kick his ass, Phil.
02:05Kick his ass.
02:09Pick on someone your own size, Phil.
02:12There's no one in my size, princess.
02:15Let him go, Phil.
02:17Or I'll tell everyone about your ugly, tiny, malformed, wart-infested limp dick.
02:23Oh, shit.
02:24Is this thing on?
02:26Oh.
02:27We did it, britches! Valley Hills fucking high, class of 2018!
02:36Alright everyone, listen up. The grad committee, headed by none other than moi, have worked hard to make this a weekend to die for.
02:44Head right to the sides or check out the motel, but don't forget, the bonfire starts at sundown and we're getting live music by The Blades!
02:5380's style, fuck yeah!
02:58Remember, partying here is a tradition since 1988. Can we not fuck it up for the future alumni?
03:05It's all about the three C's, people. Courtesy, control, and consent.
03:11Alright people, let's get lit!
03:57Oh my god.
04:27That's exactly what they did.
04:38This is our big stage.
04:44Better than the stage at your high school, I bet.
04:47Holy shit, you scared me, dude.
04:49Just trying to be friendly. Welcome to Wet Valley Water Park. I'm Conrad Carter, I make everything work here.
04:56Home by yourself? How old are you, man?
04:59You wanna find out, kid?
05:03Hey, I hope you guys aren't gonna be playing any of that electronic dance shit tonight.
05:07Nah, we're gonna be playing hits from the 1980's. Probably your favorite.
05:12Really? The 80's? I was here opening day summer of 84. This park used to be something back then.
05:27Hehe.
05:30Hehe.
05:33Hehe.
05:34Hehe.
05:52It was alive.
05:53Really? That's not what I heard.
05:56Didn't people die here? The Wet Valley murders?
05:59Murder? Come on, kid. Accidents happen.
06:03Okay, so you're saying nobody died.
06:07Dying and being murdered are not the same thing, is all I'm saying.
06:12Dark, dude.
06:13Don't get me wrong, I'm riding high. This is the best weekend of the year.
06:17Listen, you guys need anything else, just give me a holler. Power's over there by the machine room.
06:24And have a good show tonight. Keep your head on straight.
06:29Why?
06:30Once in a while, things can get a little bent around here.
06:47Good morning, ladies.
06:49For the past 12 years, Wet Valley's Water Park annual car wash has become a tradition.
06:55Each year, we raise thousands of dollars and send two lucky graduates to Europe.
07:01Who wants to go to Paris?
07:05Ooh, this car is so dirty. Let's go washing, ladies.
07:17Kim? Kim? Where's Kimberly?
07:21Tommy, you should be at the slides.
07:23I don't know what to do. Kim!
07:25Stop!
07:26Where is she, Priscilla?
07:27Who knows? Who cares? Get out.
07:31Whatever.
07:33Kim!
07:52Kim! Wow!
07:55So you did it.
07:57Did what?
07:59Graduate, moron.
08:00Oh, yeah. Barely.
08:03You still play?
08:05Yep. Yep, still do.
08:09Obviously.
08:14So what are you doing here? I mean, is your school partying here, too?
08:18Oh, no. I work here. Yeah, I didn't go to another school when I ditched Valley Hills.
08:23It's just not really my thing right now, you know?
08:26That's cool.
08:28I'm really glad to see you. I missed the time.
08:31Missed what?
08:33Oh, Tommy, hey. This is Josh. He's an old friend from school.
08:38Tommy, I managed this place.
08:40You must be proud.
08:45Babe, I'm hungry.
08:52Dude.
08:53It's hot as fuck.
08:55Shut up, son.
08:58I think I'm hungry, too. You guys in? Huh?
09:01Hey, Michael. It's me, your son.
09:03You know I'm graduating today, right?
09:06Well, if you care to, you can show up at school at 1.
09:09Otherwise, I'll be at the Old Web Valley Park for the weekend.
09:12I'm also playing music tonight with the Blades.
09:14It'd be cool if maybe you'd show up.
09:31Fuck you, Baywatch!
09:35Kim, I'm shutting it down. Two fuckers are coming down with a bottle.
09:39What?
10:02Fuck.
10:17You have to wear my glasses.
10:19Oh.
10:32Who wouldn't want a piece of that?
10:34Damn, hot as fuck. Who is she?
10:37Priscilla Wilkinson. Graduated class of Valley Hills, 92.
10:41So you guys went to school together?
10:43Yo, shut the hell up, man.
10:45Seriously, Phil, how many years now have you been trying to graduate?
10:49You can't count that high.
10:51Yo.
10:52Fuck.
10:53There are no more teachers to protect you, dick.
10:55When you least expect it, I'll be right behind you.
10:57Right behind you.
10:58Dick, when you least expect it, I'll be right behind you.
11:01Right where you like to be.
11:03You wanna die?
11:07Fuck.
11:08Oh my god.
11:09I heard she chooses one guy every year.
11:12A guy? To do what?
11:15To fuck.
11:18Have sex, you idiot.
11:20What, you live under a rock?
11:22She's the end.
11:24The end?
11:25The end?
11:26The tag in the second floor bathroom, that's her?
11:28Yeah.
11:29The road to virginity ends in the end.
11:32Oh my god, no way, you're still a virgin?
11:34Me? No way.
11:37Oh, dude.
11:39Would a virgin do this?
11:48Hello?
11:51Hi, Michael.
11:53Just making sure you're dying to see me.
11:56Eight o'clock still good?
11:58Yeah, definitely.
11:59Okay.
12:00Bye now.
12:02Bye.
12:23Hello?
12:24Hey, it's me.
12:25Hey, baby.
12:26What are you girls doing?
12:27I'm almost done.
12:28I can't wait to see you.
12:30Come play with me.
12:31I miss you.
12:32I know.
12:33Anyway, I'm running late.
12:34Some idiot cracked his skull open and there's blood everywhere.
12:37Shut up, guys.
12:38I'm on the phone.
12:40I'm sorry, baby.
12:41Yeah, I know.
12:42I'm filthy.
12:43I'm filthy.
12:44I'm filthy.
12:45I'm filthy.
12:46I'm filthy.
12:47I'm filthy.
12:48I'm filthy.
12:49I'm filthy.
12:50I'm filthy.
12:51I'm filthy.
12:52Shut up, asshole.
12:53I'm still busy, honey.
12:54But I want to be with you.
12:55Well, it's going to have to wait a bit.
12:57I've got to run, baby.
12:58Love you, baby.
12:59Bye.
13:00Bye.
13:13Every fucking year, Wilkinson.
13:15Yeah, yeah.
13:16Thank you, doctor.
13:17Okay, can you just get them out of here, please?
13:19Oh, and I got some free passes for Wet Valley.
13:26Brad, can you get back up there, please?
13:30Hurry up, man. How long is this going to take?
13:34Hey, Paul.
13:36You think we should drain the pool?
13:38No, no, no. Fuck no. Do not drain the pool.
13:40Okay? Just get it done. Party on.
13:45Party on.
13:49Party on.
14:07Hey, Thomas.
14:10It's just Tommy.
14:12What do you want? What was it? Chit?
14:15It's Chad.
14:16We can't figure out the mixing board and speakers by the stage.
14:19I'm busy. Conrad will help you, Diggs.
14:21He said you would? Something about the breakers, or...
14:24I don't know. Yeah, we need to do a soundtrack, like, now.
14:29Come on, man. Just help us out.
14:39You have five minutes, assholes.
14:42I'll see you at the office.
14:57Josh, if Tommy sees you, he'll kill us.
15:01Not if I kill him first.
15:04God, I missed you.
15:05Mm-hmm.
15:09Come. Come.
15:12I'm sorry about everything.
15:15It's not your fault. You know that, right?
15:19I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't know where you were.
15:23God, what'd you see in it?
15:30I just want to be with you.
15:36Finally.
15:40This looks absolutely mediocre.
15:48Don't hover.
15:51Thanks.
15:53Go away.
15:58You okay?
16:00Yeah, it's just, um...
16:02The eyes.
16:03Ah, don't be grossed out. I don't believe in waste.
16:22I have to take this.
16:23Yeah, go ahead.
16:33Yeah.
16:35I'm in the middle of dinner.
16:38Oh, sure. Okay. Later.
16:41I've got a 35-year-old lobster waiting for me.
16:49Your husband doesn't know when he's got something good sitting right in front of him.
16:57No.
16:58No.
17:04But I do.
17:17I'd love to see all these kids drown.
17:21Don't you hate this fucking weekend? Working overtime for these dipshits?
17:25Are you getting paid overtime?
17:28None of your business, old man.
17:34Hey, Tommy.
17:37You seen Kim around?
17:39I always know where she is.
17:42Yeah, sure you do.
17:52What?
17:53Come here.
17:55What?
17:59So?
18:01I have a room.
18:03This is not the reunion I was thinking about, you know?
18:05Your room's the first place Tommy would look.
18:08Besides, I kinda like it here. It's creepy.
18:13I missed you, Kim. Did you miss me?
18:24No.
18:42Something good is coming. I can feel it.
18:46Something's coming down tonight.
18:51I found it.
18:52Okay, so what are we celebrating?
18:54I don't know. Just look at him. I miss that. I won't be that age again.
19:00You're not age, Tommy.
19:02Yeah?
19:10Grab this stuff.
19:19Come and get it, boys.
19:21But first we gotta hunt for it.
19:23All right, you pill-popping, dick-sucking, punch-drunk graduates of 2018.
19:27Before you head down to your bonfire, I got a little surprise for y'all.
19:36Mr. Wilkinson!
19:41Fuck!
20:02See you later.
20:04He's fucked, man.
20:06Just one last night of talking to him.
20:08Yo, you were sliding with those assholes?
20:11No, man. I was going for that wet look. Totally 80s, right? Radical.
20:16Dude, you tap that, Tommy's gonna fucking kill you, man.
20:22He's not gonna know, right, Slim?
20:24Yeah.
20:28All right, lovers and fucking losers!
20:31Give it up for the Blades! Totally fucking 80s!
20:38Yeah!
20:59What the fuck, man?
21:02Stay down!
21:09Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
21:16Any of you fuckers wanna do something?
21:22Tommy, what's the matter with you? He's just a kid!
21:27Okay, that's it. You're fired. Get out of here.
21:29You're all dead.
21:35Get up.
21:39What the hell is wrong with your people?
21:40Listen, did you see babysitter on my forehead tonight?
21:43Okay, this is your party. You gotta take care of it, baby.
21:46Okay? I'm gonna be busy the whole night.
21:48Yeah, I can see that.
21:51Chris, baby.
21:54Go to hell.
21:55What? Come on, what's your problem?
21:58Okay, come on, it's not like you're not having a good time tonight.
22:03Fuck you all!
22:05Fuck all of you!
22:08I am so sorry about everything.
22:13Can I help you with anything?
22:35Fun night, huh?
22:37Just wanna tell me what the fuck you were thinking?
22:40That I needed a shower?
22:43You know there's rules, eh?
22:45Like if a girl has a psycho boyfriend, you shouldn't be fucking around with her.
22:49I can take him.
22:50You're built like a Swiffer.
22:54Hello, Chaz?
22:56It's Chad.
22:58Dude, I got your back, eh?
22:59No, it's good. You can go. I'll see you.
23:02Yeah?
23:04Yeah.
23:08I have nothing to say to you.
23:09I'm sorry. I just couldn't watch the shit get kicked out of you like that.
23:13Oh, yeah? So you're just leaving behind the bushes? Wow.
23:16Please. I lay one finger on one of these freaks and bang. Lawsuit.
23:20You know how expensive these things can get?
23:22Look, not everything's about your money.
23:24Oh, Josh, you are so wrong.
23:27Everything is about my money.
23:30Not for me.
23:31You hurt?
23:33Are you blind?
23:34I'm just trying to be a...
23:36To be a dad. Yeah, not happening. Why are you here anyway?
23:38I got your message.
23:41I wanted to see you perform.
23:43That's bullshit.
23:46You like this place?
23:49Yeah. Why?
23:51You want it?
23:53How'd you like to own it?
23:56Fuck you. You can't buy me off like everyone else.
23:59I've already started negotiations.
24:01That Wilkinson prick is dumber than he looks.
24:03And that squeeze of his...
24:06Very tasty, Josh.
24:11Nosy bitches.
24:13Are we done?
24:14Go home, Michael. I don't need you.
24:18Get off of me.
24:20Paul, something's going on.
24:22You're high, baby.
24:23Okay, just forget about Priscilla.
24:25She's just jealous that my piece of ass
24:28is younger and hotter than her piece of ass.
24:30Are you selling the park?
24:33No. Why?
24:35Oh, my God.
24:36You're lying to me.
24:38You're a bad fucking liar, Paul.
24:40No, no, no. I am a good liar.
24:42I'm a good liar.
24:43I'm a good liar.
24:44I'm a good liar.
24:45I'm a good liar.
24:46I'm a good liar.
24:47I'm a good liar, Paul.
24:48No, no, no. I am a good liar.
24:50I swear.
24:51I mean, why would I sell the park?
24:53I mean, maybe I could cash in
24:55if it burned down or something.
24:58But you're fucking selling and cutting me out.
25:01Fuck, is that it?
25:02That's what you were talking about in the van.
25:04Come on. Cutting you out?
25:06You're not even in.
25:07Look, I just met you.
25:09Okay?
25:10I'm not selling the park.
25:11The park's all I got.
25:12Just met?
25:13We've been seeing each other once a week
25:15for three fucking months, you asshole.
25:17Just, just, you know what?
25:18Come here, have a shot.
25:19You're just tripping way too hard.
25:24Fucking good.
25:25Get so drunk you vomit.
25:26I hope you choke on it.
25:28I'm sorry.
25:29Okay, let's just,
25:30let's start a family.
25:33Ah.
25:44What the fuck?
25:46Oh, fuck.
25:48Fuck.
25:52Yeah?
25:57Hey.
26:03You're Josh's friend, right?
26:05Chubb?
26:07Not memorable, huh?
26:09Went to school together?
26:12I blocked out most of my time there.
26:14After what happened.
26:16Yeah.
26:18I forgot about that.
26:21I'm happy you're still here.
26:24Where's Josh?
26:26Thought he was with you.
26:28Fuck.
26:29Thank God you're okay.
26:31What's going on?
26:32Nothing.
26:33I was looking everywhere for you.
26:35Yeah, me too.
26:36Scared he was about to hurt you.
26:38I fucking want to kill this guy.
26:40What happened with your dad?
26:41What the fuck is he doing here?
26:43He wants something,
26:44and I don't know what or why.
26:47I don't know.
26:48I don't know.
26:49I don't know.
26:50I don't know.
26:51I don't know.
26:52I don't know.
26:53I don't know.
26:54I don't know.
26:55I don't know.
26:56I don't know why.
27:01You guys are so fucked.
27:09Okay, guys.
27:12Get your own room.
27:15Come on.
27:16Let's go for a walk.
27:26No!
27:56No!
28:16God!
28:17You scared me.
28:19Hey, what are you doing?
28:21This isn't funny.
28:23Stop it!
28:26Are you crazy?
28:27Okay, okay.
28:28I'll do whatever you want.
28:29Anything you want.
28:30I'll give you whatever you want.
28:31What do you want?
28:32What do you want?
28:57No!
29:00No!
29:01No!
29:09Fuck.
29:26Hey, I don't know why you're not picking up,
29:28but I swear to God, if you're fucking them, please...
29:38I'm sorry, man.
29:40It's just that...
29:42I don't know why I get this way.
29:46I just want to talk.
29:48Just please call me back.
29:51Just call...
29:52Just call me back, Kim.
29:53I just want to talk.
29:57What the fuck?
29:58Rise and shine, sweetheart.
30:09What are you doing?
30:15Get the fuck out of my car.
30:17You know you're only hurting yourself, Tommy.
30:19Are you a psychiatrist now?
30:22She doesn't love you.
30:23Let her go.
30:24What do you know about anything?
30:26Forget her.
30:27She's just a distraction.
30:32Everything was fine.
30:34I hate those fucking schoolboys.
30:36Yeah, well, they aren't the problem.
30:39Dude, you make no sense.
30:41Don't I?
30:43You're such a fucking creep.
30:46I'm not the creep.
30:49But get the hell out of my car.
30:52Leave me alone.
30:53Well, you're already alone, Tommy.
30:57Have a good one.
31:24Mom, it hurts.
31:28I paid for a full day.
31:29We're getting that full day.
31:32Mom, it's going to get soaked.
31:37Here.
31:38Cover it up.
31:47Okay, now go for a ride.
31:48The more slides you come down, the cheaper it is.
31:50Okay, now go for a ride.
31:51The more slides you come down, the cheaper it is per run.
31:54Let's go.
32:21Mom, look.
32:44Priscilla!
32:46I don't want to talk to you.
32:48Come on.
32:49Where'd you sleep anyway?
32:51I missed you.
32:52You missed me?
32:54Yeah, it's a little late for that, Paul.
32:56You have to care about somebody to miss them.
32:59I love you.
33:02We're done, asshole.
33:04I'm busy.
33:19Hey.
33:21Ready to get your ass kicked at Sea Snake?
33:23You need that money.
33:24You wish.
33:25Where's your crew?
33:26You and the fucking Blades are going to get slaughtered.
33:31That's right, baby.
33:32I'm going to get you, sexy ass snake.
33:34Ew, no.
33:35You're just going to weigh us down.
33:36More weight, more speed.
33:37Ew.
33:38Pass.
33:40Or...
33:42More speed?
33:44Fuck off.
33:46It's your luck.
33:47Blades, you guys are dead in the fucking water.
33:59I still hate those guys.
34:01A lot.
34:03Same.
34:17Fuck.
34:47Fuck.
35:18Fuck.
35:31Thanks for giving me a second chance.
35:32I was so messed up last night.
35:35Yeah, you were.
35:38I'm slim, by the way.
35:40Yes.
35:42Yes, you are.
35:44Are you fucking kidding me?
35:45Getting an eyeful, asshole?
35:47Hey, kid.
35:48Get out of here.
35:50I'm so sorry, kid.
35:52Don't speak to me.
35:54What are you doing?
35:56I'm doing whatever I want, Paul.
35:58Why don't you go cry to your little student?
36:00I don't think I like you anymore.
36:01Really?
36:02So why are you spying on me?
36:04Spying? You think I'm spying?
36:06I can't find Brad or Cindy anywhere.
36:07They're missing.
36:09I need my staff now.
36:11God, you're messed up.
36:13They're smart, Paul.
36:15And they probably high-tailed it out of here
36:16to get away from you.
36:18And I'm next.
36:19Thanks for nothing.
36:21What were you doing with that business guy, anyway?
36:24What business is that of yours?
36:26He got in touch with me.
36:28Good for you.
36:29Okay.
36:30You know what?
36:31Just finish with your little boy toy,
36:32put your pants back on,
36:33and please get back to the slides.
36:35You still work here.
36:37Loser.
36:38Cunt.
36:46Great window.
36:47Want some coke?
36:48Yes.
36:53This is soap, man.
36:55Fifty bucks.
36:56Only two left.
36:58What?
36:59Fuck you.
37:01Oh, there you are, babe.
37:03Little boat.
37:04Whatever.
37:06Three?
37:07Two.
37:08One.
37:09Fuck you.
37:10Fuck you.
37:11Fuck you.
37:12Fuck you.
37:13Fuck you.
37:14Three.
37:15Two.
37:16One.
37:23Thanks.
37:24That's the spirit.
37:25So, see you later for round two?
37:26Huh?
37:27All right.
37:40Okay, bitches.
37:41Where's my fucking team?
37:45Okay.
37:47Alley Hills High, how we doing this morning?
37:49We good?
37:50Give me some noise.
37:52All right.
37:53You guys ready for the sea snake?
37:55You guys ready for the sea snake?
37:57Yes!
37:58All right, good, good.
37:59We gotta get you signed up,
38:00so come on down.
38:04Hey, fucktard.
38:07We've been practicing our moves.
38:09You wanna see what you've been missing?
38:11Yeah, show us what you can do.
38:14Okay.
38:22Is that all you can do?
38:23You look like a worm.
38:26What are you dicks laughing at?
38:27Think you can do better?
38:28Yeah, we can.
38:38Yeah, okay, guys, that's good,
38:39but just please keep it for the slides, okay?
38:41Has anyone seen Brad and Cindy?
38:44Anyone?
38:45Has anyone seen Brad and Cindy?
38:47No one has seen your fucking lifeguards, dude.
38:49Get over it.
38:51I don't know, Burt Cocaine is here.
38:53That's quite the shiner, kid.
38:56Hey, if I see your face clear here again,
38:58I'm gonna chop his fucking head off.
39:00You sure about that?
39:02Are we ready for Team Blade?
39:04You're in the next heat.
39:06Let's get this show on the road, guys.
39:15Hey, Kim.
39:16You wanna join our team?
39:19I can't, I'm working.
39:21Actually, maybe I should.
39:23I'm all alone.
39:26Do you wanna join my team?
39:30Josh!
39:31Finally!
39:33Have you seen Slim?
39:35No, but we can't miss you, dude.
39:37What you up to exactly?
39:38Put these on and the $500,000
39:40and we'll be on our way.
39:41What you up to exactly?
39:42Put these on and the $500,000 is ours.
39:45What?
39:46Do you want me to get beat up again?
39:47What's wrong with you?
39:48Fuck this.
39:50Come on.
39:51These are Olympic grade.
39:52Fast as fuck.
39:57I'll register a team to go to the top of the slides right now.
40:01Wait, what are you doing here?
40:02You said you were fired.
40:05I'm not here as your employee, bitch.
40:06Close.
40:09I'm here as your customer.
40:11And I wanna race now.
40:14You need to be here.
40:15Okay, this is for the graduates.
40:17Show me the fucking rule book.
40:19If you don't leave, I'm gonna call the cops.
40:20Okay, hold on a second.
40:21No one's calling the cops, okay?
40:22Just be cool.
40:23You're dead.
40:25No, you're dead.
40:36Nobody wants you here.
40:41You get out of my park.
40:51Hey, uh, Ms. Wilkinson?
40:53Where's Slim?
40:55It's Priscilla.
40:57And...
40:59I haven't seen him in a while, but...
41:01At least Tom and I had a great time.
41:03Really?
41:04No way.
41:06That's awesome.
41:10Come on, Pris.
41:12Pris, you gotta go up now.
41:15You really thought this through, Paul?
41:17You and me together up there?
41:19Great.
41:21Kim, hold the fort.
41:29Fuck the fort.
41:31We need you.
41:32Let's do this.
41:35I don't think that's a good idea.
41:37No, he's right.
41:38Let's go fuck him up.
41:40Come on.
41:42It's cold.
41:43Yeah, let's go fuck him up.
42:04Shit.
42:27I forgot how high it is up here.
42:29I have no intention of making small talk.
42:32Stop the race!
42:33We got this, man.
42:34No, we got this for sure.
42:37Let me through!
42:38Stop the race!
42:39Stop the race!
42:40Hey, we told you to get out of here, asshole.
42:41Don't worry, babe.
42:42I got you.
42:43Stop the race!
42:44Let me through.
42:45Thanks, man.
42:46You've had enough one weekend.
42:47Hey, that's fucking crazy.
42:49Are you high?
42:51Oh, yes.
42:52Don't go up.
42:53Just don't go up.
42:54Don't go up!
42:55Let's go.
42:57Let's go, man.
43:04All right, ladies and gentlemen,
43:06since Brad and Cindy are nowhere to be found,
43:09my wife Priscilla and I have decided to put aside our differences
43:13to emcee and lifeguard your favorite event.
43:17We don't care.
43:20Let me remind you of the rules.
43:22On three identical slides,
43:24teams of three members race against the clock.
43:28Fastest team wins $500.
43:31But remember, this is the sea snake race,
43:34which means you have to hold on to your teammates.
43:38Keep your arms and legs inside the slides at all times.
43:42Anyone seen trying to pull themselves to the edge of the slide
43:45will be disqualified.
43:50And our charming Conrad has agreed to come out of lifeguard retirement
43:55and will keep track of the teams below.
43:58Are we ready to do this?
44:00Are we ready to do this, guys?
44:02All right.
44:04It is my pleasure to announce that the 15th Annual Sea Snake Competition
44:08is now open!
44:14Good luck, snake racers!
44:17Wet Valley rocks!
44:31All right, girls. Let's go down this slide.
44:36You know what? Let's go down this one. It looks faster.
44:40Actually, I think that one's shorter, Alice.
44:43Okay. You guys can go there.
44:51Hey, slow down, girl, okay? Who's the boss here?
44:54Shut up, Paul. We could have had two races by now.
44:56Come on, girls.
45:00All right, Blades, line up here.
45:03Hey, where's your bass player?
45:07I don't know.
45:10All right, emos, goths, or whatever the fuck they call you,
45:13before you kill yourselves, please can you just line up over there?
45:22Kim, you're not supposed to be up here.
45:25I'll go back to the table as soon as I'm down there.
45:27I just want to help out the team.
45:31Whoo-hoo!
45:35Okay, Conrad, we're finally ready up here.
45:38Are you ready down there?
45:40All good.
45:43Good luck, everybody!
45:45All right, let's do this!
45:47Three, two, one!
45:49Stop the race! Stop the race!
45:51There's a hole in this slide. Look what I found. Look at this.
45:54Tommy, what are you doing? Get back to your team.
45:56But I don't want a team!
45:58Don't go down! The slides are gonna collapse!
46:00Yeah, it looks real dangerous.
46:02Guys, let's get into positions, please!
46:04Kimberly, please don't go down.
46:06Stop trying to control me.
46:08Just get the fuck away from us.
46:09Look, Paul, you need to listen to me. People are gonna die.
46:12Okay, ease up on the terror talk. You sound like Conrad, man.
46:15Something fucked up is going down!
46:17Get off the platform!
46:18Look, don't you realize?
46:20It's 35 years this weekend.
46:2235 years since what?
46:23The murders.
46:24Fuck that. We just want a slide.
46:28Come on!
46:34Come on!
46:42Don't go!
46:59Don't go!
47:07Okay, you guys are next. Don't listen to the psycho.
47:10You're gonna be sorry. I promise you.
47:25Jeez.
47:27I want to be on your team.
47:31What's your name?
47:32Get off the platform! Don't go down!
47:34Hey, fuck you, dude.
47:53Conrad, we all good down there?
47:56Houston, we have no problem.
47:58Because I'm in charge.
48:00I'm Conrad.
48:01Conrad's in charge.
48:03Large and in charge.
48:07Tell me when. We've got three more teams ready to come down.
48:26Woo!
48:28Woo!
48:31Woo-hoo-hoo!
48:36Go!
48:51Oh!
48:57Oh!
49:06Oh!
49:10Oh!
49:26Conrad, can we send the next ones down?
49:50Conrad?
49:52Conrad?
49:59Conrad, come in!
50:02Conrad, can we send the next ones in?
50:16Oh shit!
50:22Oh shit!
50:29Shit!
50:33Conrad?
50:52Hello? Hello? Hi, I'm calling from Wind Valley! It's happening again!
51:03There's blood everywhere! You need to come now!
51:08Paul! Stop everything! Pull the plug!
51:12What?
51:19Oh no. No, no, this is too high. I'm not going.
51:26Why don't we complete the teams, Paul? You're against me.
51:30Uh, no, no. I think we should stay here.
51:34We'll go down and come back up. Come on, let's do it.
51:39They're ready, Paul! Let's go, come on!
51:41Okay, fine. If that's what you want. Let's fucking do this!
51:53Hey, mamacita. Name is Big Phil.
51:56Oh my, you are big.
51:58Okay, ready boys? 500 bucks.
52:02Enjoy the ride with your little sluts, Paul.
52:11Let me go!
52:19Don't let go! Don't let go!
52:22What the fuck's going on?
52:24I'm going to try to pull you up, okay?
52:26There's bodies everywhere! There's something wrong in the tunnel!
52:42Help!
52:46Hey! Drummer boy! Turn off the water!
52:51Chuck! Turn it off!
52:54It's Chad!
52:58Tim! Over there! Shut the water off!
53:12Okay.
53:36I can't make it up again! Just get me out of here!
53:39Try to pull yourself over the slide!
53:41I can't!
53:43Yes you can! I got you!
53:47Tell your dad to go fuck himself!
53:51I'm sorry, kid!
54:02Hey!
54:05Stop it!
54:08Hey!
54:09Hey!
54:11Don't go down the slide! No! Get off!
54:13Why?
54:15It's only been 20 minutes, man! Fuck this!
54:17No, no! It's a bloodbath down there! Don't go!
54:19Dude, you got issues, man. You need help.
54:22No, dude! No!
54:24No!
54:26Oh my god!
54:30Stop!
54:34Pat, go down!
54:36It's too dangerous!
54:37Stop!
54:39Hey!
54:41Hey!
54:42Fuck!
54:44Get out of here!
55:12Why is the question on everyone's mind
55:15as authorities unveil chilling details
55:18on the tragedy that took the lives of several graduates
55:21of Valley Hills High School.
55:23Michael Randall's tragic mental breakdown at...
55:34Joshua,
55:36you have to understand
55:38your father left you his entire estate.
55:42Oh my god.
55:44Before the trust is transferred,
55:47you have to authorize the last real estate transaction
55:50that was left incomplete.
55:54Your father's...
55:56well, your company
55:58is building a shopping complex
56:00right over the Wet Valley Water Park.
56:13It is a sizable amount.
56:39I'm so sorry.
56:43This is not your fault.
56:46Okay? You don't ever forget that.
57:13Dad!
57:15Everything is about my money.
57:20Dad!
57:22Dad!
57:35Dad!
57:37Please!
57:39Help my dad!
57:40Please!
57:43Dad!
57:55Dad!
58:02Dad!
58:04Please!
58:06Dad!
58:08Please!
58:11You crazy?
58:13Okay! Okay!
58:15I'll give you whatever you want!
58:17Anything you want!
58:19I'll give you whatever you want!
58:40Dad!
58:42Dad!