The Shakedown Movies (2024)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Jesus, Tophie, I just killed a man.
00:00:28Yeah, first kill's always a hard one.
00:00:33Well, how many people have you killed?
00:00:35None, actually. I'm a crook, not a murderer.
00:00:39But I can imagine, the first time must feel terrible.
00:00:45Okay, let's get to work with this...
00:00:47Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tophie, what the fuck are you doing?
00:00:49I'm cutting up the body, Justin.
00:00:52You can't just chop him up right here in your office, Tophie.
00:00:55I put a drop sheet down.
00:00:57We've got to call the cops to sort this out.
00:00:59You shot the guy in the face, boy.
00:01:01Okay, that's going to be a really tough one to explain.
00:01:04It'll be as easy as cutting up a chicken, eight pieces, no problem.
00:01:08My name's Justin Diamond.
00:01:10And you know what gets me up first thing every morning?
00:01:15Besides for my amazing wife, Nance, and our two gorgeous kids.
00:01:18Bye, love. Have a beautiful day.
00:01:20It's the Bloom Prime program.
00:01:22It's a dynamic behavior system that rewards you for living a healthy life.
00:01:25It's simple. The healthier you are, the more points you get.
00:01:28I don't know what you're thinking, Marvin.
00:01:30I'm a high-powered businessman. How am I going to find time to work out?
00:01:33Let me tell you a little secret.
00:01:35All you need is 30,000 points a year to reach gold status.
00:01:39That's all.
00:01:41And once you maintain that three years in a row, you reach diamond status.
00:01:47I'm 44 years old. I'm in the best goddamn shape of my life.
00:01:52Whoopsie.
00:01:55Thank you. Thank you for that.
00:01:57Yep. Family's everything, guys. Everything.
00:02:01Where were we?
00:02:02First things first, you get yourself a smartwatch.
00:02:05This is a Garmin Fenix 7X. It's a beast.
00:02:07But any old smartwatch will do.
00:02:09Don't ask me how much it is. Just don't even ask me. It's 20 grand.
00:02:13And when your watch tells you to move, you move.
00:02:17You do a little star jump, and then you carry on with the work.
00:02:20Now, you don't have to be super active like me.
00:02:22Just get your heart rate up in between meetings.
00:02:25Use the stairs instead of the lift.
00:02:27Do whatever you can, whenever you can.
00:02:31I'm sure most of you don't know this, but I had quite a setback earlier this year.
00:02:36Oh!
00:02:37Tore my meniscus.
00:02:38How much longer till I can get back out there, Marika?
00:02:40Losing points by the day ahead.
00:02:42You'll be able to put pressure on the knee when I say that you can, okay?
00:02:45That is why I'm working as hard as I can to reach Diamond status.
00:02:49Ten years in a row.
00:02:51Less people have walked on the moon.
00:02:53But it's not just about the points.
00:02:55It's about changing your life.
00:02:57It's a badge of honour.
00:02:59The blue tick on Instagram.
00:03:00That bench in the third garage.
00:03:02It's that Gucci handbag.
00:03:03And it's in everybody's reach.
00:03:04You all sign them up to the plan program?
00:03:06Yes, sir!
00:03:07You just have to grab it.
00:03:09So, who's ready to change their lives?
00:03:12Who's ready to join this family?
00:03:22No!
00:03:23Stop!
00:03:33No, no, no. Believe me.
00:03:34It's my daughter's bat mitzvah. I want you to over-cater.
00:03:38Yeah.
00:03:39Yeah.
00:03:41My heart rate was up to 185.
00:03:43That's a clean 300 points.
00:03:45That's so good.
00:03:46Alright, thanks, Mel.
00:03:47Bye now.
00:03:49So, it sounds like a big party, hey?
00:03:51It is.
00:03:52I had to put down a 200k deposit for the catering alone.
00:03:56Well, maybe when it's all over and you're a little bit less stressed,
00:04:01we can shoot to my parents' house for the weekend, you know?
00:04:05Just chill a bit.
00:04:06It's like just in Amanas.
00:04:08And they're so excited to meet you.
00:04:12Marika, are you talking to people about this?
00:04:17No.
00:04:19Oh, my God.
00:04:20No, no.
00:04:22Like, you know, just, um, like my parents and, you know,
00:04:27some close friends and Kim, but I'm not even talking to her anymore,
00:04:30so it doesn't...
00:04:31Are you fucking insane?
00:04:32What?
00:04:34OK.
00:04:35OK, OK, OK, OK.
00:04:37I think we need to end whatever this is right now, OK?
00:04:41It was only supposed to be a little bit of fun, though, and it was.
00:04:43It was fun.
00:04:45But I thought we were like an art zone.
00:04:48I'm sorry.
00:04:49You OK?
00:04:50OK.
00:04:51OK.
00:04:52Bye now.
00:04:54Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
00:04:57This is so lame.
00:05:00We stand here and we greet the guests, right?
00:05:02It's good manners.
00:05:03Ezra, off the iPad, please, boy.
00:05:05Izzy, please.
00:05:06Daddy said off the iPad now.
00:05:08Oh, my God.
00:05:09I hope I look OK.
00:05:10Is this outfit trying too hard?
00:05:11Come on, babes.
00:05:12Come on.
00:05:13It's like a million bucks.
00:05:14Nobody's going to show up.
00:05:15They're all going to Zara's bar mitzvah instead of mine.
00:05:17Zara's mother should know better.
00:05:19It's not like she's going to come.
00:05:20It's not like she's going to come.
00:05:21It's not like she's going to come.
00:05:22It's not like she's going to come.
00:05:23It's not like she's going to come.
00:05:24It's not like she's going to come.
00:05:25Zara's mother should know better than to clash with Team Diamond, OK?
00:05:28Oh, my God.
00:05:29Mum, stop saying Team Diamond.
00:05:31It's so lame.
00:05:32I'm sure they'll come to both, sweetie.
00:05:33OK?
00:05:34Mazel tov, guys.
00:05:36Oh, you look so stunning.
00:05:38Mazel tov.
00:05:39Thanks, Steve.
00:05:40Oh, my God.
00:05:41So do you know what happened to the Solomons last night?
00:05:43What happened?
00:05:45That blue beanie gang,
00:05:47the one that's literally been terrorizing Fresno,
00:05:50cleaned them out.
00:05:51Oh, my God.
00:05:52Are they OK?
00:05:53They're in place, thank God.
00:05:55They took everything.
00:05:56Krugerrands, jewellery, Shirley's designer handbags.
00:06:00That is so terrible.
00:06:02Thank God you're here.
00:06:05Raya, where are you going?
00:06:08Ezra.
00:06:09Oh, my God.
00:06:10Thanks for coming, guys.
00:06:12Grab Mills' deviled eggs while you still can, eh?
00:06:14There's my boy.
00:06:16Hi, Ma.
00:06:18Hi, Hazel.
00:06:20You look so stunning.
00:06:21Thanks, Nance.
00:06:22I got it at Martins.
00:06:23I thought you were going to message when you were ready.
00:06:25I didn't even know you knew how to Uber.
00:06:27Your brother picked me up.
00:06:30Ma, don't tell me you brought Dobby.
00:06:35Jas.
00:06:37Mazel tov, my boy.
00:06:38Hey.
00:06:41Nance.
00:06:42Hi, Dobby.
00:06:43How are you?
00:06:45So, what, you just decided to show up?
00:06:48I told him to come.
00:06:49Here's your brother, and today is a special day.
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:53My invite must have got lost in the mail, eh?
00:06:56But there's no ways I would miss this milestone.
00:06:58Never.
00:06:59Nance, you look stunning.
00:07:00Thanks, Dobby.
00:07:02Did you hear about the Blue Beanie Gang?
00:07:04Listen to your wife, boy.
00:07:06She hears about a crime, she thinks I'm an expert.
00:07:08Listen, Nance.
00:07:09Gas Vagalila, they should come here, but these oaks are small-time criminals.
00:07:12Nothing to worry about there.
00:07:14Okay.
00:07:15Where's the Bat Mitzvah girl?
00:07:16Ah.
00:07:17Oh, my God.
00:07:19Mum.
00:07:21What were you thinking bringing Dobby here, Mum?
00:07:23He is your brother, and it is disgusting that you didn't invite him.
00:07:27Believe you me, life is too short for furribles.
00:07:30I'm not furribled.
00:07:31He's a crook.
00:07:32I have a reputation.
00:07:33Ah!
00:07:35A diamond necklace.
00:07:37Enjoy it, my girl.
00:07:38Thank you, Uncle Dobby.
00:07:50Ah, Rabbi Horowitz.
00:07:52Lovely to see you.
00:07:53Dobby.
00:07:55What a wonderful surprise.
00:07:56You know, I've been thinking about signing up to SHU.
00:07:59I haven't been a member since my old man took us.
00:08:01Well, your father was an absolute mensch.
00:08:05A real pillar of the community.
00:08:08Unfortunately, there's rather a long waiting list at the moment.
00:08:11You know, what with Rosh Hashanah and everything coming up.
00:08:15Is that right?
00:08:16Everything all right?
00:08:17Yes, Justin.
00:08:18I was just getting set up for the ceremony.
00:08:20Great idea.
00:08:21This way.
00:08:23Dobby, just don't talk to the rabbi.
00:08:26They're gambling degenerate.
00:08:27He knows I'm onto him.
00:08:28Gambling degenerate?
00:08:29He's the head of the Seapoint community, Dobby.
00:08:31That doesn't mean he's not at the bookies once a week.
00:08:33I've seen him there, but he wears a fucking cap.
00:08:35What a douche.
00:08:36You can recognise that scraggly beard from a mile away.
00:08:38OK, Dobby, listen.
00:08:39I know we haven't seen each other in a while,
00:08:41but I really would love it if you just kept a low profile.
00:08:44But I really would love it if you just kept a low profile today.
00:08:47What?
00:08:48Embarrassed by your big brother?
00:08:50I just really need things to go well.
00:08:52OK.
00:08:53Nobody's causing a scene, boy.
00:08:56Lookie!
00:08:58Jeez, man.
00:08:59What the hell, dude?
00:09:01I was just having some fun, man.
00:09:05Justin, your mother is decimating my buffet table.
00:09:09Justin!
00:09:10I didn't know that Dobby Diamond was your relation.
00:09:13Oh, he's not.
00:09:14Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum.
00:09:16What are you doing?
00:09:17You know how your father loves his cheesecake.
00:09:20OK, OK, Mum, sorry.
00:09:21Dad's been dead 25 years.
00:09:23It's 2024.
00:09:25Yeah.
00:09:26Michelle.
00:09:28Please help my mum into the kitchen.
00:09:30Thank you.
00:09:31Come on.
00:09:32There you go.
00:09:33Oh, and the pups.
00:09:35Let's go inside.
00:09:39Muzzles for Raya.
00:09:40Everything looks stunning.
00:09:42Thanks.
00:09:44But, I mean, have you...
00:09:46Have you had something done?
00:09:49Did you, like...
00:09:50Have you lost weight?
00:09:51I mean, what is...
00:09:52What is happening?
00:09:53I do have something new I'm doing.
00:09:55But if you want to know more,
00:09:58let's meet for coffee.
00:09:59OK.
00:10:00Is it like...
00:10:02Come over.
00:10:08Hey!
00:10:09Hey!
00:10:12Rabbi Horowitz.
00:10:13Family?
00:10:14Friends?
00:10:15What a simcha.
00:10:16Hey?
00:10:17Am I right?
00:10:19I'd also like to give a warm welcome
00:10:21all the way from Durban,
00:10:23the Singh family.
00:10:26Wonderful to have you.
00:10:27Nobody let them leave
00:10:28before I signed them to the Brown program.
00:10:33I'd also like to thank my beautiful wife, Nance.
00:10:35All the organising and the attention to detail.
00:10:37It's absolutely stunning.
00:10:39You know, you're the backbone of this family.
00:10:42Team Diamond would be lost without you.
00:10:46I'd be lost without you.
00:10:52But anyway,
00:10:54what can I say
00:10:55about beautiful Raya?
00:10:57You know,
00:10:59I...
00:11:03Um...
00:11:04Um...
00:11:08Um...
00:11:20Uh...
00:11:23I would...
00:11:24I would like to play
00:11:25a video presentation
00:11:27for everyone that we've prepared for today.
00:11:29Why is he playing it now?
00:11:30I have absolutely no idea.
00:11:32Roll video, please.
00:11:33Roll.
00:11:37Babe, what's happening?
00:11:38Oh no, quick bathroom break.
00:11:39It'll warm up the ground.
00:11:40Oh.
00:11:41Okay.
00:11:46Hey!
00:11:47Oh my god, this is so nice.
00:11:48Oh!
00:11:50Oh!
00:11:51Oh!
00:11:53Is that a...
00:11:55That's the hat I got in Italy.
00:11:57It's beautiful.
00:11:58No, no, it's very special.
00:12:00Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
00:12:05Wow.
00:12:06Oh, I love your house.
00:12:08Marika,
00:12:09what the fuck are you doing here?
00:12:13Look, Justin,
00:12:14you can't just fuck me
00:12:15and then throw me out like trash, okay?
00:12:18Like,
00:12:19my parents were so excited to meet you.
00:12:21Marika,
00:12:22we were having an affair,
00:12:23okay?
00:12:24It's supposed to be kept a secret,
00:12:25as in you don't tell anybody about it.
00:12:27So you want me to keep it a secret?
00:12:29Yes!
00:12:30Well, I don't know, Justin.
00:12:32I'm like an open book.
00:12:33I wear my heart on my sleeves.
00:12:36Keeping a secret isn't that easy for me.
00:12:38Okay.
00:12:39Well, can you try?
00:12:41Yes.
00:12:43But it's going to cost you.
00:12:44Okay, Marika,
00:12:46think very carefully about what you're saying.
00:12:48I have thought carefully about what I'm saying, Justin.
00:12:50And for me to keep quiet,
00:12:52it is going to cost you.
00:12:53A hundred million rand.
00:12:56A million rand.
00:13:00Come on.
00:13:01I mean, that's ridiculous.
00:13:02Well, that's what I want, Justin.
00:13:05And if I can't have you,
00:13:07then
00:13:08I want a million rand.
00:13:09But Misfits clean me out of my cash flow.
00:13:11I don't have that sort of money just lying around.
00:13:13I'm sure you'll make a plan, okay?
00:13:16Okay.
00:13:26Oh, such a beautiful family.
00:13:29What happened, babe?
00:13:30Oh, nothing.
00:13:31Just had a deal with someone else.
00:13:33So good now.
00:13:35Okay.
00:13:46Shalom Aleichem
00:13:52Hevenu shalom aleichem
00:14:00Hevenu shalom aleichem
00:14:17I've been tagged in like a million pictures.
00:14:20Oh my God, my buddy was so much fun.
00:14:23Please can we do it all again?
00:14:25Yeah, I wish, sweetie.
00:14:28Raya,
00:14:29you can't wear your diamond necklace to school.
00:14:31But Uncle Tovi gave it to me.
00:14:33Uncle Tovi doesn't set a good example.
00:14:35But he's so much fun.
00:14:36He sends me the best memes.
00:14:38Look.
00:14:39Are you guys texting?
00:14:40My God, DMing.
00:14:42Raya,
00:14:43I don't think you should be texting.
00:14:45I don't want you talking to Uncle Tovi.
00:14:47Okay?
00:14:48He's a bad egg.
00:14:49And he's a criminal.
00:14:50He went to jail.
00:14:51What did he go to jail for?
00:15:00Doesn't matter.
00:15:02Badass.
00:15:03It's not badass.
00:15:04It's just
00:15:05bad.
00:15:10You know, you could have destroyed everything by showing up yesterday.
00:15:12I want the money, Justin.
00:15:14Marika.
00:15:16Look, I know you're upset,
00:15:17but if you think I'm going to pay you a million rand,
00:15:19you're insane.
00:15:20Well, I am insane, Justin.
00:15:22And if you don't pay me by midday on Friday,
00:15:24I'm going to go over to your house and tell Nancy everything.
00:15:27You don't mean that.
00:15:28Try me.
00:15:29Send me the P.O.P. once it's done.
00:15:31Done.
00:15:32Come on.
00:15:33Yep, yep.
00:15:35Seriously, Nance,
00:15:36those flowers were something else.
00:15:39Hey.
00:15:40Haika is incredible.
00:15:42I mean, you ever see her set up?
00:15:43She was literally there from three in the morning.
00:15:45I wish I had a girl.
00:15:46I have to decorate Dylan's birthday with superheroes.
00:15:49Yeah, it's the worst.
00:15:52But seriously, babe,
00:15:53you are glowing like a lamp.
00:15:55What is happening?
00:15:57Are you doing, like,
00:15:59mushroom journeys?
00:16:02Oh, my God.
00:16:03Do not tell me you are pregnant.
00:16:05Oh, God, no.
00:16:06Going through that hell twice was more than enough for me.
00:16:09It's a bit of a difficult thing to explain.
00:16:12Okay, no peeking.
00:16:14It's almost ready.
00:16:16I literally cannot imagine what you're about to show me.
00:16:19Okay.
00:16:21Open.
00:16:23Nance,
00:16:24meet Mauro,
00:16:25my silicon boyfriend.
00:16:27Okay, what is happening right now?
00:16:29Okay, it's perfectly customisable to your every need.
00:16:32It is
00:16:34your ultimate
00:16:35fantasy man.
00:16:36Jesus, Amy.
00:16:38What the fuck?
00:16:39Are you having sex with this thing?
00:16:42Yes.
00:16:43What about Jake?
00:16:44Well, what about Jake?
00:16:45This isn't about Jake.
00:16:46Okay, well,
00:16:47okay,
00:16:48maybe it is because, you know,
00:16:49he travels all the time.
00:16:51Oh, no, I'm sorry.
00:16:52Okay, you know what?
00:16:54I love you, but this is just not my thing.
00:16:56Okay?
00:16:57Don't be such a prude, Nance.
00:16:59Don't you get it?
00:17:00This is about having your own personal guilty pleasure.
00:17:03This is about having your own personal guilt-free experience.
00:17:06But it's like a weird, scary doll.
00:17:09What the fuck?
00:17:10Are you saying that you've never closed your eyes and imagined somebody else?
00:17:13No, I have not.
00:17:14So, you don't have a fantasy crush.
00:17:16Someone you'd love to fuck.
00:17:17Okay, firstly,
00:17:19Justin and I don't fuck.
00:17:21We make love.
00:17:22And he is my fantasy crush.
00:17:24I'm very lucky.
00:17:25And I can literally initiate sex just by wearing a towel.
00:17:28Sounds amazing.
00:17:29I mean,
00:17:30is that supposed to be Jon Bon Jovi?
00:17:32Is that your celebrity crush?
00:17:33Just check out the website.
00:17:36Perfectly normal.
00:17:37No shame.
00:18:03You missed your deadline, Justin.
00:18:16Are you okay?
00:18:18Yeah.
00:18:24A million rand.
00:18:26Cash.
00:18:27The seller said he'll only accept a deposit in cash.
00:18:31Justin, you're still in arrears on your current property.
00:18:34I strongly advise against purchasing another one at this time.
00:18:37Yeah, and I get that.
00:18:39It's just, you see, in my line of work,
00:18:41it's about presenting a certain type of image.
00:18:44Now, I told the client I have a house in Plett.
00:18:46It's only a matter of time before he calls me on that.
00:18:49See?
00:18:50What does Natalie say about all this?
00:18:52Well, nothing.
00:18:53She doesn't need to know.
00:18:54We'll be back in the green in no time.
00:18:56Come on, Hilton.
00:19:01Can't you sell the Porsche?
00:19:05Yeah, that's a rental.
00:19:08I forgot we did that.
00:19:12Well, there's about 920K in the kids' unit trust,
00:19:17but I strongly advise against touching that.
00:19:21Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't even consider that.
00:19:31I want to make this absolutely clear, OK?
00:19:34Once I give you the money, it's over between us, OK?
00:19:38I mean, you see me in the street, you walk in another direction.
00:19:42Someone says my name, I mean, you don't even know who I am.
00:19:45Finally, I am starved.
00:19:47OK, can I please have the chicken burger?
00:19:50And then your sides.
00:19:52Would you say potato wedges or skinny fries?
00:19:54Skinny fries.
00:19:55Are you sure?
00:19:56Yeah.
00:19:57Potato wedges or skinny fries?
00:19:59Skinny fries.
00:20:00Are you sure?
00:20:01Because I like them soft on the inside and then crispy on the outside.
00:20:04Yeah, they're sensational.
00:20:05OK, OK, yay.
00:20:06OK, so then the skinny fries.
00:20:07And then can I also have a rock shandy, please?
00:20:10With ice.
00:20:11What are you going to have, babe?
00:20:14Nothing.
00:20:15Ugh, boring.
00:20:17OK, well, that's all for now.
00:20:19Thank you.
00:20:21Marika, did you hear what I was saying?
00:20:23No, sorry.
00:20:25You know what, you can say it again.
00:20:26I'm listening now.
00:20:28I want you to understand that we're never going to see each other again after this.
00:20:33Do you get it?
00:20:36Justin, I need to tell you something.
00:20:41I'm pregnant.
00:20:45Kidding.
00:20:49Oh, Shane, you should see your face.
00:20:52Oh, no, I could never.
00:20:54I mean, I could, you know, one day.
00:20:56Actually, I'm, like, very maternal.
00:20:58You know, I could be a great mother.
00:20:59I would be a great mother.
00:21:00Like, I just have that instinct, you know?
00:21:02I need to go to the bathroom.
00:21:08Fuck.
00:21:09Maybe I should have ordered the wedges.
00:21:25They went away for the weekend, and this Blue Beanie gang cleared them out.
00:21:31Took everything.
00:21:32That's terrible, Mum.
00:21:33And Mark and Michelle are leaving for Mauritius next week,
00:21:36and they're terrified to leave their house empty.
00:21:39All right, you saw.
00:21:42Where did they live again?
00:21:43Avenue La Croix, right at the top, in that horrible yellow house.
00:21:47Aye, oh.
00:21:48Shame about the colour, eh?
00:21:50Oh, shame about the colour, eh?
00:21:52Justin!
00:21:53I thought you'd forgotten where I live.
00:21:55I visit you once a week, Ma.
00:21:57Beautiful ceremony the other day, my boy.
00:22:00Glad I could be there.
00:22:01What ceremony?
00:22:05Raya's bat mitzvah, Ma.
00:22:07Oh, yes.
00:22:09It was really lovely.
00:22:12Actually, I just wanted to chat to Dovie.
00:22:14Ah, what did I do now?
00:22:16It's a business thing.
00:22:17It might take a couple of minutes.
00:22:18Here.
00:22:19Got yourself a little bit of a pickle there, boy.
00:22:22I'm not here for your judgement, Dovie.
00:22:25I'm here for your help.
00:22:26Why don't you just give the chick the one bar?
00:22:28I'll fit her the one bar.
00:22:29She ordered a chicken burger and pretended we were on a date.
00:22:32She's batshit crazy, Dovie.
00:22:35It's going to take more than money to stop her.
00:22:38Justin.
00:22:40If you're asking me what I think you're asking me,
00:22:42then ask me.
00:22:44Jesus, Dovie, I'm not asking you to do that.
00:22:47I just, you know, I...
00:22:49I want you to, like, go over to her house and, like, scare her.
00:22:54You know?
00:22:55I don't know, like, give her fright.
00:22:57Let her know that she better stay away from me and my...
00:23:00Justin!
00:23:01Hi, Mrs. Schlesinger.
00:23:03Oh, you look just like your father.
00:23:06Oh, man.
00:23:08You were such a man, eh?
00:23:10I promise you, he shook me like Seabiscuit.
00:23:13Bam!
00:23:18That chick's off her rocker, boy.
00:23:22You know, I don't hear from you for months.
00:23:24You don't phone me on my birthday.
00:23:26Fucking hell, you don't invite me to Raya's bat mitzvah.
00:23:28I didn't think you'd want to come.
00:23:30I'm her uncle, for God's sakes.
00:23:33Yeah.
00:23:34You know, Justin, I get it.
00:23:36Okay, the golden boy, the black sheep,
00:23:38but at the end of the day, we're still family.
00:23:40And family, family is everything.
00:23:43Yeah.
00:23:44Now,
00:23:46if I do this for you, Justin,
00:23:48this shakedown,
00:23:50I want you to make more time for me in your life.
00:23:54I want you to invite me to the kids' birthdays,
00:23:56have me over for a Shabbat, for God's sakes.
00:23:58Absolutely, absolutely.
00:23:59Also, if I do this,
00:24:01you need to realise that you're stepping into a world
00:24:04that's very different from the one you know, my boy.
00:24:07Okay, my world.
00:24:08Nobody gives a shit about diamond points or prime status.
00:24:12Okay, but...
00:24:14I thought we were just going to scare her.
00:24:17Are you sure you want to do this?
00:24:23This is her dress.
00:24:41What the fuck?
00:24:42Traveller's cheques.
00:24:44Who still uses fucking traveller's cheques?
00:24:46This is a 3310.
00:24:48Do they even make these anymore?
00:24:50Yes.
00:24:51I thought these people were supposed to be loaded.
00:24:53Are these people loaded?
00:24:55PHONE VIBRATES
00:24:57PHONE VIBRATES
00:24:59PHONE VIBRATES
00:25:00PHONE VIBRATES
00:25:02PHONE VIBRATES
00:25:04PHONE VIBRATES
00:25:06PHONE VIBRATES
00:25:08PHONE VIBRATES
00:25:11How's it, boss?
00:25:13How's the job going?
00:25:14We just got into this safe and it's not great.
00:25:16It's just full of 90s stuff.
00:25:18It looks like a museum.
00:25:19I thought there were supposed to be Kruger Rands in here.
00:25:21The Lipman's all loaded, bud.
00:25:22You found the dummy safe.
00:25:24Fucking dummy safe.
00:25:25Plus from the past.
00:25:27Listen, my mom said they're away the whole week.
00:25:29So if you need to take a little more time to find the other safe,
00:25:32then fucking do it.
00:25:33Doesn't your mom have dementia?
00:25:34Can we even trust her?
00:25:35Don't go there, Mikey.
00:25:36It's still early stages dementia,
00:25:37but she's extremely fucking lucid.
00:25:40Hi.
00:25:44Listen.
00:25:45I've got another job for you boys.
00:26:04Stop!
00:26:05Bouncing!
00:26:07What's that?
00:26:08What's that?
00:26:09What?
00:26:10Oh, it's a stupid ad.
00:26:16Babe.
00:26:17I just, um, I've got some work I've got to get done.
00:26:21Oh, yeah.
00:26:22Cool.
00:26:24I was just, um, going to bed.
00:26:28Night.
00:26:29Night.
00:26:39Oh, no!
00:26:41Stop!
00:26:42Bouncing!
00:26:43Oh, no!
00:26:44Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuckity, fuck.
00:26:46Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuckity, fuck.
00:26:50Yo.
00:26:51I'm like, hello, honey.
00:26:53I shrunk the kids.
00:26:54I got you dripping on my shit like I'm ecstasy.
00:26:57What?
00:26:58Have you ever killed a chick before?
00:27:00Nobody's getting killed, Mikey.
00:27:02Didn't you hear what the boss said?
00:27:03We are intimidating her.
00:27:06Women don't really find me intimidating.
00:27:09That's why I got this bad boy.
00:27:12Yeah, that'll do it.
00:27:15Why would you bring your gun if we're just going to talk?
00:27:18I like to be prepared for any situation.
00:27:20Why do you think I only wear Pumas?
00:27:22You never know when you've got to run, you know?
00:27:27Pumas.
00:27:29Where are you going to run to?
00:27:31Down a dream.
00:27:33Oh, what?
00:27:34I'm going to run down, run down a dream.
00:27:37Those shoes, yeah.
00:27:38Yeah.
00:27:39That's what Luke says.
00:27:40It kind of looks like a dream world.
00:27:42It's a dream world, Luke will see.
00:27:43Yeah, dream world.
00:27:44Run.
00:27:45Do it for the day's gone.
00:27:48Night's gone.
00:27:50We are in the mountains.
00:27:52I get it.
00:27:53That is, that is kind of nice.
00:28:05You've got to stop calling me like this, Brew.
00:28:07You're driving me mazuga.
00:28:08I told you, I'll let you know once they've spoken to her.
00:28:11Okay, yeah.
00:28:12It's getting pretty urgent, Dovey.
00:28:15What's that sound?
00:28:17Oh, it's ice.
00:28:18You're drinking, boy?
00:28:19No, man, it's an ice bath.
00:28:21It increases your lifespan, plus I need 500 points a day
00:28:24to reach diamond status by the end of the year.
00:28:27I'm not drinking.
00:28:28I'm not drinking.
00:28:29I'm not drinking.
00:28:30I'm not drinking.
00:28:31I'm not drinking.
00:28:33I have no idea what the fuck you just said.
00:28:35Enjoy your whiskey and I'll call you after the shakedown.
00:28:37Yeah, but don't...
00:29:02What the fuck?
00:29:32What the fuck?
00:29:52Yo, yo, yo.
00:29:53Check, check, check.
00:29:57That's her, right?
00:29:58Yeah, of course.
00:29:59Let's do this.
00:30:03Fuck.
00:30:11Hey, lady.
00:30:12We have a message for you from Mr. Dovey.
00:30:21Fuck.
00:30:24Jesus.
00:30:26Fucking bitch.
00:30:33Fuck.
00:30:53Mikey?
00:30:55Mikey!
00:31:03Fuck.
00:31:09Clinton?
00:31:14Clinton?
00:31:27Clinton!
00:31:28What the fuck?
00:31:38I don't know.
00:31:40Mikey?
00:31:43What did I do?
00:31:44No, no.
00:31:46I can't.
00:31:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:31:59Oh, fuck.
00:32:03I know what you're thinking.
00:32:04I'm not fit enough for the prime program.
00:32:07Eh?
00:32:08Am I right?
00:32:09Let me tell you a little story.
00:32:10One day, there was this...
00:32:12Oops, got to take this.
00:32:13Sorry.
00:32:14Client's emergency.
00:32:16What's happening?
00:32:17Well, you didn't tell me she was a fucking MMA fighter.
00:32:19She nearly killed my guy.
00:32:20Clinton's in hospital with a broken back.
00:32:22I thought you were just going to talk to her.
00:32:24She didn't want to talk, Justin.
00:32:26And guess what?
00:32:28Now she's dead.
00:32:30What?
00:32:31She is dead.
00:32:33You're fucking with me.
00:32:34I made it very clear that this is a dirty world.
00:32:37And guess what, my boy?
00:32:39Now you've got dirt on your hands.
00:32:42Yeah, come in, Henco.
00:32:45So what you got?
00:32:47Well, we located the oak that she kicked off the balcony.
00:32:50He's lying in Somerset Hospital with a broken back.
00:32:54You know, this wasn't just a robbery, Henco.
00:32:56This was an attack.
00:32:57I know.
00:32:58But I'm not going to lie.
00:32:59I've been very clear.
00:33:01You know, I'm not going to lie.
00:33:02I'm not going to lie.
00:33:04You know, I'm not going to lie.
00:33:05I'm not going to lie.
00:33:07I'm not going to lie.
00:33:08You know what I'm going to say?
00:33:09I'm not going to lie.
00:33:10this was an attack someone is trying to send me a message I'm just seeing a
00:33:14line with all the pipes sticking out of her it's a father's worst nightmare
00:33:19she's gonna be okay sir she's a fighter these medical bills are cleaning me out
00:33:23man are you medical aid income no sir you should think about it you're in the
00:33:29dangerous line of work go to the shed and load up everything you can find I
00:33:34want you to find out who did this to Cindy
00:34:10she's dead I thought you were just gonna talk to me she's dead Justin she's dead
00:34:16now you've got dirt on your hands babe Justin she is Justin hmm what I'm in a
00:34:26towel here babe oh yeah sorry babe I'm not in the meat
00:34:33site okay why not I'm just stressed you know work stuff okay because it's been a
00:34:47while babe like three months awhile and you've been acting kind of weird yep
00:34:57sorry I just promise babe we'll we'll do it soon okay cool when or should I call
00:35:05Sam and Oscar to schedule it in for us that's I'm saying my mind's just not on
00:35:10this right now okay you know what you mope around the house you glue to your
00:35:16phone the whole day you know if I didn't know any better I would think
00:35:19you're having an affair you're having an affair aren't you oh Jesus is it Sam
00:35:29Jesus Natalie like I have time in my day to have an affair why would you even
00:35:34think that it's it's it's work stuff it's just fucking work stuff I'm sorry
00:35:40that I don't I don't want to have sex all the time but I'm pretty stressed out
00:35:44right now okay okay okay
00:36:14so your life insurance is currently sitting at this amount over here and
00:36:20your wife is half of that why only half well based on our daughter we know that
00:36:27men tend to die before their wives why because we want to
00:36:44are you all right Justin rabbi can I confide in you of course I've done a
00:36:54terrible thing I was unfaithful to my wife and I I've got blood on my hands
00:37:05rabbi it can feel like that when we betray the ones that we love but we all
00:37:16make mistakes Justin we're only human after all none of us are perfect beings
00:37:24you know in Jewish thought we talk about the Yitzhak and the Yitzhak of the good
00:37:32and bad inclinations the good makes us feel empathy makes us reach out to our
00:37:38fellow man the bad drives us makes us competitive keeps us moving forward
00:37:43rather strive to be a whole man then try to be a good man but what I did was a
00:37:49bad thing so you did a bad thing now you get a chance to set it right that's what
00:37:56great men do Justin I'm not a great man of course you are no rabbi my father my
00:38:03father was a great man I mean he was the real deal you know he was like a giant I
00:38:08remember as a kid at this shul he'd walk in and everybody want to shake his hand
00:38:15and just be around him man his name was gold it was diamond same as yours
00:38:33I just feel I've got to do something you know just to begin to make things right
00:38:39I mean I know I can't undo what I've done but is there like a repentance thing as Jews can do
00:38:49you know like the three Hail Marys or so I'm afraid it's not as easy as that but
00:38:59a small donation to the shul would go a long way you know especially if it was for our
00:39:07overdue renovations if anybody asks you it's from say Aubrey diamond from beyond the grave
00:39:22you would be so proud
00:40:07hi delivery for mrs. diamond from Synthetica essay Oh God I wasn't expecting this to arrive
00:40:24so soon please sign here ma'am do you know what I'm second thought can you just take it back I've
00:40:30I've changed my mind I no longer want this um this purchase ma'am I'm just a delivery guy you
00:40:37take it up with the company what's that mom nothing it's just a new lamp for the bedroom
00:40:44okay I think if you could just put it in the end room that'll be great cool mom what's that
00:41:01it's nothing if you please go and make yourself a sandwich you must be starving no I'm not just
00:41:07do it thank you enjoyed
00:41:37so
00:41:51oh my god
00:42:07um
00:42:19yes
00:42:26yes
00:42:38Natalie
00:42:43that's hey Natalie hi
00:42:52wow you're so wet why I swam in my clothes it doesn't matter Natalie I'm sorry that I've been
00:42:59so distant okay but that's all over now okay I'm a hundred percent here I'm good dad's acting
00:43:07really weird oh my god when did my little girl grow up so fast hey told you and Ezra you're
00:43:15such a beautiful boy you know that you know what guys let's leave the spare room I think don't you
00:43:19think time's gone by so fast hey I think we need to I don't know I feel like we gotta like do stuff
00:43:24together and from now on no more distractions yeah we're gonna look at each other in the eyes
00:43:32when we have dinner okay whoa I'm em guys team diamond on the run hey what the fuck is this
00:43:43hands like a hot potato until Avicii finds his way
00:43:53Mr. Fredericks how are we doing today ah pretty cocked up
00:43:58springbok scum player I'd be for cock man perhaps I can help you with that
00:44:05what the fuck doc I think you just broke my foot
00:44:08who sent you to kill Vosie Ferreira's daughter Vosie Ferreira oh fuck
00:44:16hey hey no man you're breaking you're breaking all my bones bro who sent you to kill Cindy
00:44:22Cindy no no no we we won't mean to kill her just um intimidate her but but hey she fucked us up so
00:44:30my partner he shot her partner who's your partner who's your fucking partner
00:44:38ah no man no now you're breaking my knees bro what the fuck is wrong with you I'm paralyzed
00:44:45the fuck is wrong with you who's your partner he's this lady called Mikey but he's an idiot
00:44:52wasn't his idea whose idea was it whose idea was it
00:45:23give me a call we need to talk I'm not sticking around I'm moving on so tell me what you want to
00:45:30tell me let's be done let's be done my man oak clinton is in hospital paralyzed from the neck
00:45:37down he may never walk again your boys killed someone in the process they saved your ass
00:45:41Justin this chick was a fucking ninja I mean check Mikey look at him check it in fucking limping
00:45:47how's it boy
00:45:51yeah
00:45:59I asked for a phone I didn't ask you to rob the chick Mikey
00:46:07oh my god you're the blue beanie gang
00:46:11hey I may be robbing the community behind their backs but you're robbing them to their face
00:46:19wow wow that's incredible my own arsehole brother does mom know about this yeah yeah
00:46:26she knits the fucking beanies of course she doesn't know and I'm warning you boy you keep it that way
00:46:30what are you doing nothing man
00:46:42right your chick's phone okay there's probably some incriminating texts on you right
00:46:47this is what I'm trying to do type some loose ends
00:46:49thank you it'd be nice thank you
00:47:02oh my fuck what that's not a phone of course it's a phone I got it out of her hand back off
00:47:08she kicked the fucking shit out of me she was coming at me with like a stick like a fucking
00:47:13ninja turtle like spinning flipping things it was like crazy kicked me out the door I landed
00:47:19and then as I look up there she is coming right oh my god what the fuck is going on
00:47:23Justin that's not her phone door you killed the wrong fucking woman holy shit fuck this shit
00:47:31fuck it fuck man
00:47:33how could you get this wrong I told you 12 Ronald Crescent 12 we were at 21
00:47:48what you said 21 oh Tove you mixed up the numbers you moron this means Marie
00:47:54Castello oh fuck she's gonna post that video tomorrow who did I shoot then fuck
00:48:00listen boy why don't you just give her the bucks
00:48:09you've got the money right
00:48:13gave it to the rabbi why the fuck did you give it to that gambling piece of shit who's the
00:48:18fucking rabbi Horowitz he's not a gambler Dovey he's a rabbi of the seapoint community I've seen
00:48:25Horowitz he's not a gambler Dovey he's a rabbi of the seapoint community I've seen him at the
00:48:30bookies Justin it's fine it's fine it's fine I'll just I'll just go there ask for it back I'm coming
00:48:37with you absolutely not I'm coming okay I got you into this mess I'm gonna get you out is that a
00:48:44bulletproof vest you know I've really got to keep it locked and loaded yeah never leave home without
00:48:48it that's it sure Jesus this thing stinks but it's not that bad man when you get back give it to me
00:48:57I'll throw it in the wash you know but I still don't understand why you have to come with me
00:49:02that hook's juked you bro I'm telling you now how can he jook me he's the pillar of the community
00:49:06he's a pillar of bullshit bro man you've always had an issue with this guy no I don't always have
00:49:11an issue I've seen him it's a race course I've never really seen him just because some you saw
00:49:15some dude with a beard doesn't mean it's him bro I'm telling you
00:49:31stay in the car no I'm coming stay in the fucking car
00:49:45hey rabbi sorry to disturb sorry I was just wondering if I could have a quick word
00:50:06Justin it's so good to see you Benjamin this is Justin Diamond one of our big donors to the shul
00:50:16Benjamin keep going with that section I'll be back in a minute okay okay how can I help you today Justin
00:50:24actually it's a bit of an awkward one rabbi I'm gonna need that money back
00:50:30well thank you once again Justin for that extremely generous donation but I'm afraid
00:50:37I've already given the money to the contractor Barry Munitz painting starts next week
00:50:44right right um you see I've made a huge mistake rabbi turns out the money's not even mine to give
00:50:49so you know I don't know can you can you explain that to him you know
00:50:56it's going to be difficult at this stage Justin you know I mean we've already signed a contract
00:51:01I don't mean to be pushy rabbi but um I really need that money by tomorrow midday
00:51:07Justin you know when you make a donation you're not actually supposed to ask for it back you know
00:51:13I mean what would your father say about this
00:51:18I need the money rabbi
00:51:22let me give Roger a call we'll see what he has to say about that
00:51:26was the guy's name Barry
00:51:29Barry he is
00:51:34I'll give him a call right
00:51:39excuse me sure
00:51:44Justin Diamond you hilarious boy
00:51:49you driving a rental no man it was a rental before I bought it no way this is a rental
00:51:55you can smell it this is too good
00:52:00I don't see a bag of money he said he gave it to the contractor but
00:52:05I don't know I think the rabbi just lied to me hey hey what are you doing
00:52:12no no Dobby come on don't don't just think about think about what you're doing
00:52:17he's a rabbi of the community he's a degenerate that's what he is
00:52:31I'm telling you I don't have it it's all shit I'm gonna need that money back from you rabbi
00:52:36I swear to you I have given it to the contractor sounds like a boobamizer to me
00:52:41Dobby please I have a weak heart
00:52:47okay I placed it on a bet the truth will set you free you placed it on a bet what did I tell you
00:52:55boy rabbi are you okay get out of here kid men are talking I am a man get out
00:53:03what about all the yats atorv and harasta I've learned to accept that horse racing's a disease
00:53:09of the blood Justin I'm not proud of it rabbi you bet a million rand on the horses only half
00:53:16of that the other half really is with the contractors only half of it eh and when's the race
00:53:21three o'clock today
00:53:28oh you are the masterful disguise
00:53:40yeah so the two oaks have just come out and now they've picked up a rabbi
00:53:45a rabbi this is deeper than we thought Janko don't lose him copy all right
00:53:52let's go
00:53:57right who did you bet on rabbi I put 480 on slew of gold and 18k on the kosher kid
00:54:03kosher kid of course you did
00:54:07George how's it Dobby D what you betting today no we're here to stop a bet you've been given
00:54:13stolen money and you know that's illegal exactly tell him rabbi rabbi horowitz shalom we need to
00:54:20retract the bet please guys you know how this works I can't cancel an hour before the race it's
00:54:25in the system okay okay what are the odds on slew of gold three to one and the kosher kid
00:54:32kosher kid that's 55 to one boy what why'd you bet so much on a losing horse well he's a member
00:54:39of the community I always put 18k on him putting money on a donkey isn't a mitzvah rabbi
00:54:43okay who the top contenders dragonfly and sparkling water great jockey on dragonfly
00:54:52Yuan Furui Yuan Furui oh he's one of my clients yeah he just had a baby oh that's not tough
00:55:01I've got an idea whoa whoa whoa rabbi go talk to Furui tell him not to race
00:55:08that's your idea convince him it'll increase our odds oh yeah sure sure I'll buy him a
00:55:15fucking cake how am I supposed to do that Dobby if you can convince people to buy your
00:55:20bullshit policies you can convince him not to race you are an excellent salesman Justin
00:55:26I'll go talk to the jockey of sparking water twist his arm so to speak
00:55:31what should I do hang tight and no more fucking bets pardon the cursing
00:55:53anyone know where Vincent Kumar is the jockey of sparkling water
00:56:01Johan oh thank god I caught you Justin what are you doing here when I came as soon as I saw you
00:56:08racing Johan I cannot let you go out there today sorry excuse me well when I saw your name in the
00:56:15listing I realized we never increased your life policy when the baby was born is that something
00:56:19we should have done is that something you have three beautiful children and a lovely wife Danica
00:56:26thanks let's say you get hit by a bus or even worse fall off your horse now your current life
00:56:32cover wouldn't meet your monthly bond payments your family would be forced out of their home
00:56:38yeah I mean you wouldn't want that hey isn't that what my trade-in disease covers for yeah
00:56:43no absolutely exactly which we haven't increased either look I appreciate the concern but can we
00:56:49set up a time next week chat to us no let's have it now Johan
00:57:07Vincent who wants to know I'm just a massive fan
00:57:12Dovey Diamond I'm a businessman with a passion for the sport what are you offering Dovey I've
00:57:17got sponsors queuing out the door to get their labels on me that's sweet my bro all right
00:57:24listen I can't let you go out there today
00:57:30my booty he's put a lot of money on slow gold and I need to make sure that horse wins okay
00:57:37well there's a lot of money riding on me and sparkling water
00:57:40so I guess it's all gonna come down to the race is that so
00:57:47fuck
00:57:57right okay but I'm afraid boy I don't believe you
00:58:08Johan as your broker I can't let you go out there
00:58:12yes Justin you made your point but I've got to go
00:58:17um somebody help Chuckie down Chuckie down
00:58:27so
00:58:42afternoon right boy
00:58:46afternoon
00:58:47uh
00:59:11how'd it go yeah got into his head yeah I broke his hands
00:59:16shock news from the barrack folks we have last minute replacement jockeys on dragonfly
00:59:20and slew gold opening this race up for all kinds of possibilities
00:59:24what a shame man wonder what happened yeah good to you
00:59:26their contenders are lined up at the starting gate
00:59:28set for the start and away they go and racing from the 1400 meter mark
00:59:32come on
00:59:52it's the kosher kid only 100 meters to go and taking the lead like a good thing
00:59:59what are the odds in kosher kid 55 to 1
01:00:03what's 18k times 55 I'm a lot 1 million renn thank you cloth thanks for your business Rudge
01:00:12what happened to Rebel Harvards
01:00:21adios banderas
01:00:33so
01:00:36okay
01:01:03so
01:01:28million bucks boy
01:01:33hey you got all these here
01:01:42he was younger than I am now when he died heart attack at 45 that's just bad luck that's because
01:01:48they weren't checking cholesterol twice a year back then today he would have been on statins
01:01:53lived a long life when last did you check yours I don't know Jesus don't be it could be a walking
01:02:01heart attack right now better check it at least once a year
01:02:09he loved you
01:02:12and you I wasn't cut from the same cloth as the old geezer
01:02:17you on the other hand we'd be proud of you
01:02:20you
01:02:32those aren't supposed to be me
01:02:36you know they should never have arrested you when you crashed that car dog
01:02:40you were just a kid oh there was an expensive sports car boy
01:02:44I would have pressed charges too if some little shit had crashed it
01:02:47Jesus that was a party we were wasted you were the most wasted dad had just died and
01:02:54you were really going for it I think I drank a whole bottle of tequila that night you know
01:03:00I remember running outside and you were in the driver's seat jeez and that car was total there
01:03:06what the fuck is this
01:03:37okay
01:03:52now which one of you boys is Dovey Diamond what you don't recognize me whoa
01:03:58fuck how's it I'm Justin Diamond wellness and medical aid bro shut up
01:04:03I didn't ask for your fucking life story okay now one of you better explain to me politely
01:04:09why you've been after Vosie Ferreira's daughter Vosie Ferreira are you fucking kidding me
01:04:15who's Vosie Ferreira this looks Buddha mafia he's fucking deeper than step oh fuck man
01:04:20will you stop doing that why did you attack Cindy it was a misunderstanding okay we tried to
01:04:26intimidate my butch girlfriend no she's not my girlfriend and my guys got the address wrong
01:04:30tell Vosie we're sorry yeah I mean we didn't mean to kill her oh fuck stop doing that please
01:04:37you fucking fucks fuck to the powerful man's daughter obviously that means you're trying
01:04:41to send him a message right so why don't you give me that message before I really start
01:04:45fucking hurting you okay okay we've got a message for Vosie yeah we do yeah it's in the top drawer
01:04:54in an envelope you've got an actual message for him yeah I was like on a paper yeah from my boss
01:05:01just in case you know what's his people around what like handwriting or type why don't we just
01:05:07let them talk on the phone hey our boss likes to transact in writing Justin you know this no no no
01:05:13no no okay show me okay yeah okay yeah hi
01:05:29up ends
01:05:32yeah
01:05:36where is it the top drawer in the back yeah the brown envelope
01:05:43yeah
01:05:52in here
01:05:56yeah yeah yeah yeah at the back
01:06:02this yeah the anthrax in here just open the envelope there's a message okay
01:06:08i'm gonna put my mouth on it if i taste anything you fucking got
01:06:14come on boy
01:06:26all right son of a bitch
01:06:29fuck
01:06:37what now huh yeah
01:06:46put the gun down sunshine don't put the gun down Justin
01:06:51don't push me man i'm dangerous do you even know that thing works huh
01:06:56you don't have it in here i don't tie don't tie oh how do you like it when i'm
01:07:11very classy boy
01:07:26yeah this looks a real jacko
01:07:32jesus toby i just killed a man yeah the first kill is always a hard one
01:07:40okay let's get to work with us what the fuck are you doing i'm cutting up the body justin
01:07:47oh you can't just chop him up right down your office toby i put down a drop sheet
01:07:51we gotta call the cops to sort this out you shot the guy in the face boy
01:07:55okay that's gonna be a tough one to explain it'll be as easy as cutting up a chicken eight pieces
01:08:03no no please please there's gotta be another way something less fucking hectic than this
01:08:11we could bury him but digging holds a real slip boy
01:08:15it's fine it's fine absolutely fine fine i'll do it i'll dig just more like this man
01:08:25actually there is another way
01:08:31he's got no fucking brains but his head's so fucking heavy
01:08:34i need to take a break no no no no no keep moving keep moving
01:08:40okay okay here we go here we go
01:08:48since when do you own a boat since i wandered off donkey smith with the royal flash
01:08:53does mom know about this no of course i've taken her out a couple of times she loves to see you
01:08:58no i mean does mom know you spelt her name wrong
01:09:02did i
01:09:04do
01:09:21right this should be far enough while the master won't find us yet
01:09:28that should do must take the plastic off don't want the bubbles to bring him back to the surface
01:09:35yeah shit what i forgot the bricks i haven't done a body drop for such a long time
01:09:44put that around his ankles i'll just have to improvise
01:09:50time to the anchor all right make a solid knot there give me the other end boy
01:09:56right over left and left over right reef notch okay let's get this fucker out of here
01:10:01ah okay one two three i think i'm gonna get a hoonia
01:10:11rest in peace you scary ginger fuck
01:10:19shit
01:10:24let him go you fuck fuck you just let go of the fucking bag
01:10:31oh my god
01:10:53holy shit i must have had a skull great
01:10:56oh my god the money i think the money's gone justin the money is gone i've been doing ice
01:11:01bars for years my body can withstand these temperatures don't worry i can do this okay
01:11:12oh my god it's fucking freezing jesus fuck get me out of here
01:11:15i'm sorry about the money boy and your neck too you should probably see a doctor about that
01:11:32we'll make a plan just we'll figure it out yeah
01:11:36yeah
01:11:40good boy
01:12:06hey what are you doing in there nothing
01:12:22jesus what happened to you came off a mountain bike
01:12:29you look a little flustered reading yoga in there or something
01:12:34um yes i was you didn't tell me you were riding i was a last minute cycle thing
01:12:42into kai you know with um with gary gary was there oh okay well i'm gonna go to bed
01:12:51did you get a haircut or something no
01:12:57facial
01:12:58no no it seems different i mean you look um
01:13:10you look great
01:13:14you look uh you look really great
01:13:23not really in the mood
01:13:24good night
01:13:40now dude let me tell you about this chick was fucking smoking man so what did you bang her or
01:13:46what i mean i i tried well call her up and ask if she has any friends bring her over to jordan's
01:13:51party this weekend he bought like 12 kgs of beer and he's got a big jump in carl and i'll call you
01:13:57back
01:14:10oh
01:14:21so
01:14:41wow
01:14:51ah
01:14:56where'd you park the scooter just tell me the color
01:15:02ah fuck you
01:15:21what just i've been giving it some thought boy there's a way we can do this which is totally
01:15:26legal no more dodgy shit i'm sending you an address meet me there in an hour okay
01:15:32or don't and let that chick post that video and ruin your life
01:15:36it's a tough situation you got yourself into have you tried killing her no i'm not
01:15:41i thought we were going to do this the legal way we are we are he's just joking
01:15:45boy roland daker the best lawyer in the country
01:15:48listen fact of the matter is this extortion is an illegal act all right now if we can prove
01:15:56that this is what this chick is doing to you we file a restraining order against her
01:16:01okay yeah that sounds promising tell me something justin have you got any um text messages recorded
01:16:07conversations that we can use to prove that she's been doing this well there's a there's a video
01:16:14what kind of video
01:16:20i've never done it on a pilates ball before boy looks like it gives you some thrust there
01:16:24shut up toby no no hey just just this is good very good this is exactly what we need now
01:16:29what we do is we take those text messages that she's been sending you
01:16:33together with this we file a restraining order against her if she leaks anything my friends
01:16:38she goes bouncing off to jail simple as that really
01:16:44great this is very good
01:16:48very good if you don't think i've got what it takes to go through with this then you're wrong
01:16:52because i've got what it takes that sex video that you made of us is proof that you're trying
01:16:56to extort me which is illegal so either you do exactly what i say or you're going to prison
01:17:05america understand
01:17:18i don't want to go to jail justin i'll die in jail do you want me to die
01:17:27i was just i was just so cross you know and i didn't want to lose you i need you to delete
01:17:32that video of your phone of your laptop of all your tech right now i can't justin it's in the
01:17:37cloud you can't delete anything from the cloud uh yeah no you can't my parents were so excited to
01:17:45meet you and i just i just i told them i told them i was in love with you i'm fucking in love
01:17:56with you justin
01:18:05it's okay it's best for both of us
01:18:11oh no no no no marika marika no no marika marika no no no enough
01:18:20i'm not fucking losing you
01:18:22i didn't realize you had a client no we just finished yeah um thank you marika for that
01:18:43session i've deleted my appointment from your calendar so if you could delete all my appointments
01:18:50from your calendar that'd be great yes absolutely i will see you next when you see me
01:19:01don't tell me she bit you she bit me
01:19:05she really caught her crazy that boy but she agreed
01:19:19but you um you've only had my back doggie they get all soft on you no i'm not
01:19:38oh shit i'm gonna be late for my present
01:19:40yeah
01:19:55i know what you're thinking i'm not fit enough for the prime program i'll never reach gold status
01:20:00let me tell you nine years ago i was exactly where you are now and you know what i didn't
01:20:07reach gold status i reached diamond status and i've been diamond status every year since
01:20:18first things first get yourself a smart watch this is a garmin phoenix 7x it's an absolute
01:20:23beast but any old smart watch will do and when your watch tells you to move you move
01:20:45stop
01:20:53dustin it's sam what the hell is going on the phones are going crazy all your
01:20:57clients are pulling their portfolios because of some viral video call me when you get this
01:21:10natalie that's
01:21:12yes
01:21:21that oh shit
01:21:25natalie
01:21:30now
01:21:38what's going on why are you breaking down the door
01:21:45is that antonio banderas
01:21:50are you fucking this thing what if i am okay okay
01:21:57okay why because justin him and i have intimacy okay which is something that you and i have not
01:22:05had in a very long time i know i know i've been neglectful of you and i want that to change
01:22:11natalie i don't want to keep your arms length anymore okay i've got so much to tell you why
01:22:15is my phone going no no no natalie natalie no no no don't look at the point don't look at me
01:22:20natalie natalie what the fuck am i looking at i can explain almost everything oh my god natalie
01:22:29i fucking knew it i can explain you need to get out of this house right now no let's talk about
01:22:36get the fuck out okay you need to calm down don't kick me what about go oh
01:22:46oh god
01:22:50so
01:23:07you showed your bouncy video to a pecked auditorium why
01:23:12oh shit boy you just fucked it all up
01:23:17okay cool cool we can get on top of this okay we'll speak to my russian friend yuri you can
01:23:20hack into the whatsapp server take the video down with a virus whatever it will cost a couple of
01:23:24grand but you know in the meantime you just deny deny deny well you'll say it's ai or some shit i
01:23:32mean you've seen that video with will smith and the spaghetti they can do anything these days
01:23:37they can do anything these days it's not you in the video fake news marguerite shut up dovey
01:23:42you stupid fuck do not get it huh do not get this this is on you i asked you a simple
01:23:51simple favor so simple you just talk to her and you scare her but no you hand it over to
01:23:56some other fucking idiots and not only do you get the address wrong you killed an innocent woman
01:24:01dovey i'm sorry the fuck you're sorry i never want to see you again
01:24:13no wonder dad hated you huh
01:24:32so
01:24:50the other brother take me to him
01:25:02so
01:25:09hey justin just in time for tea
01:25:16cheesecake yeah
01:25:21i am so looking forward to rath but much
01:25:27look mom
01:25:28um there's something i need to tell you before you hear from someone else
01:25:39i um i cheated on natalie hey and um there's a there's a really embarrassing video going around
01:25:50so i'm sorry if you see that oh justin first you crash a car at that house party and now you do
01:25:58this no mom you're confused i didn't crash the car dovey crashed the car no justin it was you
01:26:11dovey pulled you out of the crash
01:26:16and he got in the front seat
01:26:21and he took the blame for you
01:26:26why would he do that because he was the black sheep and you were the golden boy
01:26:34but he was arrested for that one he went to jail his life's never been the same since then
01:26:45jesus i failed dad i destroyed the family's name i really think your father was a hero
01:26:51believe me he had his flaws including a string of affairs that everyone knew about including that
01:26:58bitch schlesinger justin i want to tell you something your father died 25 years ago
01:27:10you don't have to live your life for him you've already made the diamond name proud
01:27:21so
01:27:34give me that dude it's kind of my signature beanie that i'm actually part of this crew
01:27:38called you always talk so much when i get a little bit nervous and anxious i tend to like shut the
01:27:43f**k up
01:27:56dovey dovey dovey hey dovey what the f**k happened dovey man dovey
01:28:06oh
01:28:11jesus bro why don't you tell me man why don't you tell me you took the hit for the accident
01:28:17the mom told you yeah mom told me you didn't have to do that man hey why would you do that
01:28:25you're my brother
01:28:27oh come here oh oh
01:28:35how are you still alive locked and loaded boy never leave home without it
01:28:47we better get moving where that cunt is still alive and he's heading to your house
01:28:51what babe i just heard about justin f**k that girl and that pilates ball f**k him too f**k him
01:29:03you're twice the man he'll ever be
01:29:12what the
01:29:13f**k yes
01:29:21horsey justice has been served good job hector i come out copy
01:29:33just your car through surrender i f**king knew it
01:29:36f**k
01:29:59israeli technology
01:30:00hey yes please is that the police this is an intruder in our house the blue beanie gang
01:30:08i'm going on boy distracted
01:30:16what the f**k was that a distraction
01:30:31you're a real f**king p**s what is this this is gonna f**king hurt
01:30:41jesus yikes
01:30:44leave my brother the f**k alone
01:31:01uh f**king is that
01:31:08not so shiny now you diamond f**k the wrong people justin
01:31:17it's time to say good night my sweet boy
01:31:23huh
01:31:27what the f**k is this thing
01:31:34toby don't toby toby come on why are you always getting shot my boy
01:31:41stop hey
01:31:46how's it babe there's there's a lot of blood
01:31:52what the f**k
01:32:06hmm
01:32:20toby is he dead he's fine he just doesn't have medical aid so
01:32:26they put him in a communal ward
01:32:36i know i f**ked up that's so does the whole of cape town
01:32:50i'm sorry i'm so sorry
01:32:57i don't want to lose you i don't i don't leave the kids
01:33:01look when banderas got shot in the head there was this moment where i thought
01:33:12it could have been you and i just felt so
01:33:19empty you know all of a sudden i wouldn't have anything to live for
01:33:26that's no i mean it in a negative way justin like my entire adult life has revolved around you
01:33:37and team diamond which is basically just another way of saying team justin let's face it
01:33:43i'm resigning
01:33:47i'm off the team
01:33:50how long are you off the team for
01:33:53i don't know
01:34:24so
01:34:42after months of multiple break-ins we are happy to announce that the leader of the blue beanie gang
01:34:49has been apprehended and killed hencufa mark's terror of the fresnay neighborhood was put to an
01:34:55end in a robbery gone wrong by local hero justin diamond can you tell us exactly what happened
01:35:01well i got home and i found him in my house he was trying to hurt my wife natalie and i
01:35:08pushed him over i managed to climb on top of him and then he stabbed me yeah and uh
01:35:15uh well luckily dobby was there to save us dobby who is that dobby diamond my brother
01:35:24yeah he's the real hero here i'm kathy winston reporting live from meadow hill
01:35:35mr diamond i'm glad i caught you i mean you were famous before all these shenanigans
01:35:40i mean 10 years diamond status wow but now you are kind of a local hero i'm glad you got your
01:35:46whole family around you for this because this is one hell of a big moment you really yeah
01:35:5910 years diamond status wow i've only seen like three of these in my lifetime
01:36:03you're part of a very select group fewer men have walked on the moon with this award you'll
01:36:07be entitled to a lifetime of discounts of up to 35 percent of all flights hotels and groceries
01:36:13let's elect a few male vendors mind if i take a selfie all right okay can you get your kids out
01:36:18of the way you know sorry step in my story my name's justin diamond and you know what gets
01:36:26me up first thing every morning it's my family
01:36:32and even though things aren't what i thought they'd be maybe an imperfect life is actually
01:36:39perfect one look i'm not going to sit here and tell you to chase points because that
01:36:46shit will drive you crazy i can't i'm turning around all you need is a basic hospital plan
01:36:51and some savings because at the end of the day it's really your family that's most important
01:36:59so that's where you should be spending your money and your time thank you for your honesty
01:37:07i want you to invest all of this in your best policies it's for my family
01:37:29ah
01:37:42my steps are bouncing from the star
01:37:47follow the rhythm at the end of my heart
01:38:00i got you man
01:38:09which way around am i to go follow the light inside that i've come to know
01:38:19you pull me up when i'm falling down because i've got you babe i've got you babe
01:38:30la la la la la
01:38:45because i got you man
01:38:59oh
01:39:09i've got you
01:39:29man
01:39:49i got you man
01:39:59so
01:40:29so
01:41:00so
01:41:20you
01:41:29you