The Dukes Of Hazzard Hazzard In Hollywood (2000) Action Comedy
The Duke boys travel to Hollywood to sell their musical recordings in order to raise money for a hospital. However, the plan goes for a toss when their recordings and money get stolen.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Good times, good times, it's a good time to let the good times roll.
00:00:08Mile after mile, smile after smile.
00:00:13Moving on down the line.
00:00:16Hey, we're having good times.
00:00:22Turn up the radio, turn up the radio.
00:00:26Hey, turn up the radio.
00:00:30Good times, good times, it's a good time to let the good times roll.
00:00:53Mile after mile, smile after smile.
00:00:59Heading on down the line.
00:01:03Hey, we're having good times, good times.
00:01:22Yeah, Jackie Don Tucker was my daddy's little brother.
00:01:25And at seventeen he jumped the fence.
00:01:28He joined a rock and roll band, put a tattoo on his hand.
00:01:32My granny said he never had a chance.
00:01:34Welcome to the Hazard Hoedown.
00:01:35Y'all got here just in time.
00:01:37It's an annual fundraiser to build a hazard hospital.
00:01:40Now there's all the fun and games you'd expect.
00:01:43Like the traditional old-fashioned rattlesnake sacking contest.
00:01:47Bones entered in that one.
00:01:50Come on.
00:02:10It's time for the axe catching.
00:02:12Luke's favored in the event this time.
00:02:14But despite last year's little mishap,
00:02:17old Lifty is determined to win again.
00:02:20Now any sissy can throw an axe.
00:02:23The trick is to catch it first.
00:02:25Then throw it.
00:02:30There's Cooter, Daisy, and Cletus.
00:02:32Cooter's in the barbecue sauce contest.
00:02:34He inherited Uncle Jesse's recipe, which always wins first prize.
00:02:38I tried to make it like Uncle Jesse's, but something just ain't right.
00:02:43All right, Cletus.
00:02:45Take it to the judges.
00:03:16Play by the rules.
00:03:18You're gonna miss all the fun.
00:03:20Play by the rules.
00:03:21You're gonna miss all the fun.
00:03:40Toby Keith there.
00:03:42He's there. Oh, he's marvelous.
00:03:47Listen, you know, Toby comes back every year, you know,
00:03:50to help us raise some money for the hospital building fund.
00:03:54You know, now he's a big country music star, and he's come back again.
00:03:58And because of him, we've raised a total of $35,063 for the hospital fund.
00:04:07Now we need $3,500,000.
00:04:12Your great-grandchildren will be doing the groundbreaking.
00:04:15Who said that?
00:04:17It's me, Roscoe Ezra Bushmaster.
00:04:22Ezra? What are you doing back in Hazard?
00:04:25Roscoe, what the heck's going on? Who is this guy?
00:04:27Oh, Ezra here.
00:04:30He was a partner of boss's for a while.
00:04:32The boss found out that he was more crooked than he was,
00:04:35so he ran him out of town, and he went up north to fleece the Yankees.
00:04:39Thank you, Roscoe, for that flattering introduction.
00:04:43Yes, friends, I want to give something back to Hazard.
00:04:47Yeah, I got a proposition for you.
00:04:50You want a hospital in 20 years or right now?
00:04:54Come on, let's hear it. Let's hear it.
00:04:56Yeah, right? All right. Come on.
00:05:00If the county will raise about half a million,
00:05:04500,000 in 10 days,
00:05:07I will donate the remaining $3 million.
00:05:15Well, that's a deal, but what's the catch?
00:05:18I want the hospital named after me.
00:05:22Where in the heck did you get $3 million?
00:05:27Roscoe, did you ever learn how to read?
00:05:30You couldn't get it? Of course I did.
00:05:34Eventually, I...
00:05:36Well, then, read this out loud.
00:05:38What? I knew you'd be suspicious.
00:05:40What is this?
00:05:42It says here that it's a certified statement
00:05:45saying that Ezra Bushmaster has worked with...
00:05:49$100 million!
00:05:52But how can we raise $500,000 so quickly?
00:05:58People! People!
00:06:00You already have the money.
00:06:03I'm B.B. Baskin, music promoter extraordinaire.
00:06:07Ezra, is this your shelf?
00:06:09I thought it was yours.
00:06:12Excuse me.
00:06:18Excuse me.
00:06:20Now, isn't it true that you own years of tape recordings
00:06:23of country music from all the people that have played your hoedowns?
00:06:26And some of these people have become big names.
00:06:30Well, I represent some of the biggest Hollywood record companies.
00:06:33They do rock, pop, hip-hop.
00:06:35They're dying to get into country music.
00:06:38You know what they would pay for your precious tapes?
00:06:41Wait a minute. You mean that...
00:06:43Yes, I mean let me promote those tapes on a major Hollywood record label.
00:06:47Put a little culture into their pathetic little world.
00:06:50Put out a CD album, raise money for your hospital.
00:06:53Well, that all sounds pretty good, but is it doable?
00:06:56All you need is enough money to remix and master tapes you already have.
00:06:59Thirty-five grand should do it, and you've got yourself a hospital.
00:07:04I tell you what, you sell the tapes,
00:07:07I'll bring everybody back for a big groundbreaking hoedown.
00:07:13Am I the only one here who gets the feeling this isn't gonna work?
00:07:17And so the Hazard Caravan was off to Hollywood.
00:07:21Bo, Daisy and Luke in the General Lee,
00:07:24followed by Roscoe in his RV,
00:07:26and bringing up the rear,
00:07:28Cooter rode with good old Cletus in his pickup with Daisy's motorcycle.
00:07:32Roscoe always takes Albert Einstein,
00:07:35his champion stud, Basset Hound, wherever he goes.
00:07:38You might notice that Albert ain't moving.
00:07:41The reason he's not moving is because he's got a big head.
00:07:44You might notice that Albert ain't moving.
00:07:46The reason he's not moving is because he's got a big head.
00:07:49Albert passed two years ago, but Roscoe was so brokenhearted
00:07:52he had a dog doll made and named him Albert.
00:07:55It's a comfort to him.
00:07:57Now y'all pay attention.
00:07:59Roscoe was carrying his $35,000 from the previous hoedowns.
00:08:03The music tapes to give to B.B. Baskin,
00:08:06bottles of scuffernons for Enos,
00:08:08plus a sack full of rattlesnakes too as an anti-theft device.
00:08:13Don't ask.
00:08:15Ow! You lug nuts are not supposed to touch it when it's hot like that!
00:08:21Thanks. Yes, that's great news.
00:08:24Thank you so much.
00:08:26Guess what?
00:08:28Anita Blackwell's in Hollywood shooting a movie,
00:08:30and she's gonna try to come to the hoedown too.
00:08:33Good night. She's really great.
00:08:36She sure is.
00:08:38Cooter, I can't believe this barbecue sauce of yours came in second.
00:08:41Ain't bad, is it?
00:08:43But Uncle Jesse had a secret ingredient.
00:08:45I ain't figured out what it is. He called it P.S.
00:08:47Now, I tell you, I've tried everything.
00:08:49Peach skins, battle fish scales, pond scum.
00:08:55Well, it didn't work.
00:09:05Whoo-hoo!
00:09:12Whoa!
00:09:18Boy, Albert, that was horrendous.
00:09:21What the heck you got now?
00:09:23You must have hit something, huh?
00:09:25I didn't hit nothing, you lug nut.
00:09:27Cooter here sold me a defective tire.
00:09:33Whoa!
00:09:35Hey, somebody's shooting at us, y'all.
00:09:37Shoot them!
00:09:39Shoot him!
00:09:45I think you missed them, Patch.
00:09:47I wasn't trying to hit them, stupid.
00:09:49I was trying to stop them.
00:09:57Move it, brains!
00:10:01Mighty thin spares, Roscoe.
00:10:03I've eaten donuts with more tread than this.
00:10:06How the heck would anybody want to be shooting at us?
00:10:08Maybe we're in Montana.
00:10:10Ah, they're better shots.
00:10:18Boss, they're dumber than a rock.
00:10:22Shooting didn't stop them.
00:10:24Don't worry, though. I'm on it.
00:10:26Three days later, hello, Hollywood.
00:10:38Girls like fast cars, too
00:10:40But they like to sleep small and fatigued
00:10:42With an engine that grooves
00:10:44They don't want to sound like thunder
00:10:47They want their engines smooth
00:10:51Girls like fast cars, too
00:10:56Girls like fast cars
00:10:58Girls like fast cars
00:11:01Girls like fast cars, too
00:11:06Yeah, they do
00:11:22Great campsite, you know? Plenty of game.
00:11:24Got good water, got firewood everywhere.
00:11:26You know what I can't understand?
00:11:28What's that?
00:11:29Why somebody else hadn't used this campsite?
00:11:31Yeah, you got a point there, Roscoe.
00:11:33Hey, Albert, you're not going anywhere, Roscoe.
00:11:40Hollywood, are you ready for Hazard?
00:11:58The mad Russian tears them to pieces
00:12:01And this town will eat the crumbs
00:12:03One bite at a time.
00:12:06Let's go.
00:12:07The mad Russian Igor was run off by the Russian mafia
00:12:10For being too crooked.
00:12:12Now he deals in bootleg CDs, cigarettes
00:12:14And any crime that turns a capitalist dollar.
00:12:17Patch, you have another truckload
00:12:21Of contraband cigarettes for me?
00:12:23Nope. Something bigger.
00:12:25Too bad.
00:12:27I have newest line of bootleg CDs.
00:12:31Milli Vanilli, Frankie Avalon.
00:12:35Hot stuff, hot.
00:12:37I also have rural music.
00:12:39It's country.
00:12:41Whatever.
00:12:43Has a Russian soul in it.
00:12:45Igor, I want to hire your meanest muscle
00:12:48To help me stop a bunch of hillbillies.
00:12:50What is hillbillies?
00:12:52Crazy, unpredictable people
00:12:54Who climb the hills and cause trouble.
00:12:56Ah, Cossacks.
00:12:58No problem.
00:13:00I have gulag escapees, red army deserters
00:13:03XKGPs.
00:13:05They love America.
00:13:10How much?
00:13:11For you?
00:13:13Just 2,000 a day.
00:13:16Plus, you have to take 100 Slim Whitman CDs.
00:13:21You drive a hard bargain, Igor.
00:13:24It's the ramps, y'all. It's the ramps.
00:13:26It's that wild garlic.
00:13:27Rabbit and ramps, it just don't get no better than that.
00:13:29Hey, everybody. Enos is on his way over.
00:13:32I told him we'd park somewhere near that big sign.
00:13:39Remember back when old Enos joined the L.A.P.D.?
00:13:43Well, now he's a full-fledged detective.
00:13:47Hey, everybody.
00:13:55You know, Shepney, I must be getting soft
00:13:57because I'm actually glad to see the dipstick.
00:14:00Hey, wait, wait. Y'all listen.
00:14:02You can't build a fire. I'm sorry. It's a city park.
00:14:05Yes, sir.
00:14:06Oh, no. What y'all got cooking?
00:14:08Oh, you know, whatever we catch.
00:14:10Well, we're running a couple trap lines. They're doing real good.
00:14:12You know we can live here forever, maybe even longer.
00:14:14No, no, no. You can't trap.
00:14:16You can't camp without a ton of permits.
00:14:18Now, Enos, honey, being an L.A.P.D. and all,
00:14:20I mean, can't you just pull up those permits for us?
00:14:24I can try, Daisy.
00:14:25I can try to help you get them.
00:14:27Just don't trap any more animals.
00:14:30Oh, Cooter, that smells so good.
00:14:32What is that?
00:14:36Cooter, that's so good.
00:14:37We brought you some scuppernongs.
00:14:39Now, I better explain about scuppernongs,
00:14:41a wild fruit found only in the South.
00:14:43Most folks eat them raw or in jelly.
00:14:45But in hazard, they're pickled
00:14:47and a remedy for everything from rheumatism to the vapors.
00:14:50And the old-timers claim it can make some male appendages
00:14:53harder than Japanese arithmetic.
00:14:58So Daisy, Cooter and Enos headed for City Hall
00:15:01to get a camping permit in a park where camping is prohibited.
00:15:05Luke, Bo and Cletus stayed back at camp,
00:15:09waiting on old B.B. Bascom
00:15:11to find out about closing the deal for the music tapes.
00:15:14One, cut tapes from Dukes.
00:15:16Two, sell tapes.
00:15:17Three, steal money for Livelodge.
00:15:20Whoa! Hey!
00:15:22I'm going somewhere, B.B.
00:15:25Where's my $50,000?
00:15:27Igor! What a prick!
00:15:29You know I was gonna call you this afternoon.
00:15:31That will require a cent.
00:15:32You will be dead by this afternoon.
00:15:35You still owe me money for black market CDs.
00:15:38Very simple. Pay or die.
00:15:41Oh, Igor! Baby!
00:15:42I'm this close to closing the deal.
00:15:44It's got a hundred grand finder's fee.
00:15:46Huh?
00:15:47If you found Elvis, you wouldn't get that much.
00:15:49Tatiana, baby, kill him.
00:15:54Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Okay! Okay!
00:15:56Listen! Listen!
00:15:57I found over six hours of music tapes
00:15:59in a place called Hazard.
00:16:01Okay.
00:16:02Now, famous people have played their hoedowns.
00:16:04Oh, yeah. Loretta.
00:16:07Merle.
00:16:09Toby Keith.
00:16:11Never mind.
00:16:12Look, a major label will pay
00:16:13a half a million minimum for the rights.
00:16:15So you have the tapes.
00:16:17Going to get them right now.
00:16:18So bring these tapes to me and that's cancelled.
00:16:21But then I'll end up with nothing.
00:16:23Tatiana, baby.
00:16:28Good deal.
00:16:29Very good deal.
00:16:31All units, go to 21 Oasis Liquor,
00:16:33Winston and Riverside.
00:16:34Officer requests backup.
00:16:36Hang on, Robert.
00:16:39We'll get past that.
00:16:40Hang on.
00:16:47Feels like back home.
00:17:02Ah!
00:17:04Y'all sit down.
00:17:07Hi, Enos.
00:17:08I thought this was your day off.
00:17:10It is.
00:17:11Just passing by, Tammy.
00:17:12What's the situation?
00:17:13Oh, one perp inside.
00:17:15He grabbed the clerk as hostage.
00:17:17Excuse me.
00:17:19All right, you in there.
00:17:21Come out with your hands in the air.
00:17:23Now!
00:17:28Uh, Enos?
00:17:30Is that you?
00:17:33Hold your fire!
00:17:40Cullen!
00:17:41Not again!
00:17:43Enos, I swear I thought this was your day off.
00:17:47Does everybody out here know his day off?
00:17:50Just passing by, Cullen.
00:17:51We're friends from back home.
00:17:53Oh, hey.
00:17:54Welcome to California.
00:17:57Stop waving that blessed gun.
00:18:00Uh, it ain't loaded, Enos.
00:18:03I know it, but they don't.
00:18:07You promised me you'd stay out of trouble.
00:18:10Now, your mama's gonna have another fit.
00:18:13You ain't gonna tell her?
00:18:15I'm afraid so, Cullen.
00:18:18Why?
00:18:19Uh-oh, Cullen.
00:18:20Don't cry.
00:18:21Come on now, buddy.
00:18:22It'll be all right.
00:18:23Come on.
00:18:24It's okay.
00:18:25But...
00:18:26It'll be all right, buddy.
00:18:27Please.
00:18:28Just...
00:18:29Just...
00:18:30You'll be all right.
00:18:31Just settle down now.
00:18:33I'm going right by headquarters, Tammy.
00:18:35I'll take him in and save you all the trip.
00:18:37Cullen, you put these on.
00:18:38But...
00:18:39And get in the car.
00:18:40It'll be all right.
00:18:41Go ahead.
00:18:42Mama's gonna kill me.
00:18:44That's the eighth time I've arrested you, Cullen.
00:18:47That poor old boy's just a foul ball.
00:18:49Lost in the tall weeds.
00:18:51You are so wonderful, Enos.
00:18:56Well, uh...
00:18:59Isn't he just, like, wonderful?
00:19:04Cooter Davenport.
00:19:05This is Daisy Duke.
00:19:06We're from back in Hazard, where Enos is from.
00:19:08Daisy and all the dudes in Hazard are like Enos?
00:19:11The chicks must be, like, totally stoked.
00:19:14Stoked?
00:19:16Strong, rugged, with such animal drive, yet deeply sensitive.
00:19:20So he's like a sensitive animal.
00:19:24He's the perfect stud muffin.
00:19:32Enos a...
00:19:34Stud muffin?
00:19:37Enos, you have outdone yourself.
00:19:39This stuff's delicious.
00:19:40This is the best stew now.
00:19:42Here you go.
00:19:44Is there any of that game stew left?
00:19:48You know, Albert and I, we love rabbit.
00:19:51You've got a rabbit habit.
00:19:53Somebody's stealing the RV.
00:19:55And the tapes.
00:19:56And the money! Our money!
00:19:58Come on!
00:20:00Come on!
00:20:02Get out of here!
00:20:04Get out of here!
00:20:06Get out of here!
00:20:24Get out of here!
00:20:34Man, which way'd they go, anyhow?
00:20:36There he is.
00:20:37There he goes.
00:20:38I see him.
00:20:39Hang on, Lucas.
00:20:46Which way'd they go?
00:20:47It's clear in here, you lug nuts!
00:20:49Get on with it!
00:20:50They go downhill?
00:20:51Come on, can he do this?
00:20:52He's got pedals!
00:20:53What's the matter with him?
00:20:54Let's shoot!
00:20:55Go! Go!
00:20:57Shoot.
00:20:58All the streets around here look the same.
00:21:00All concrete and blacktop.
00:21:05Ah, we lost him.
00:21:07Oh, there he goes!
00:21:09Hang on.
00:21:10We ain't gonna lose him this time.
00:21:14Go!
00:21:15Whoo!
00:21:18Hey, somebody's getting beat up.
00:21:20Forget the RP.
00:21:21They're gonna kill that kid.
00:21:22That's a big 10-4.
00:21:23Does that look fair to you, Bo?
00:21:25Nope.
00:21:26Say we even the odds.
00:21:27Hey.
00:21:32There you go.
00:21:34There you go.
00:21:38Somebody's...
00:21:39Not a car, either.
00:21:44It looked good, Luke.
00:21:45Hey, go on, y'all.
00:21:46Get the hell out of here.
00:21:47Yeah, get out of here.
00:21:50Aah!
00:21:53Hey, Mom!
00:21:54Come on, now!
00:21:56Real tough guys, huh?
00:21:58Reckon he lives around here somewhere?
00:22:03Come on.
00:22:04We got company.
00:22:07Aah!
00:22:19Hey!
00:22:21That's my little brother.
00:22:23And that's my car.
00:22:27Did I hear you say let's even up the odds?
00:22:29Whoever said a good deed never goes unpunished must have come from L.A.
00:22:37I'll tell you.
00:22:38Javi, are you okay?
00:22:39It was Chula and his guys.
00:22:42These dudes jumped off for them.
00:22:45You stopped to help a stranger?
00:22:48Why?
00:22:49Well, them fellas was beatin' your brother like a rented mule.
00:22:53You guys ain't from around here, are you?
00:22:55No, we ain't.
00:22:56We're from L.A.
00:22:57We're from L.A.
00:22:58We're from L.A.
00:22:59We're from L.A.
00:23:00We're from L.A.
00:23:01We're from L.A.
00:23:02We're from L.A.
00:23:03We're from L.A.
00:23:04You guys ain't from around here, are you?
00:23:07You all right?
00:23:08Yeah, thanks.
00:23:11Man, what's up with the car?
00:23:13That's the ugliest paint job I've ever seen in my life.
00:23:16Feo. Feisimo.
00:23:18I wouldn't talk if my car was dragging its rear end around town like yours.
00:23:23You gringos wanna see what this car can do?
00:23:28Yeah, I wanna see what it can do.
00:23:30It's a new shock to me. How about you, Luke?
00:23:35Hey!
00:23:40Look at that. I bet he can churn butter with that thing.
00:23:48Hey, that's really great, but, uh, what's the point?
00:23:54What's the point?
00:23:55Yeah.
00:23:57What can that pallet junk do, huh?
00:23:59Huh?
00:24:01Well, why don't you just ride shotgun with my cousin here? He'll show you.
00:24:06Shotgun. That means a passenger seat.
00:24:11No, no, it's a race car. You gotta get in like this.
00:24:14Whoo!
00:24:18Hey, hey, hey!
00:24:29Whoo!
00:24:36Whoo!
00:24:37Hey, hold on!
00:24:40Keep doing it!
00:24:47All right, now. Let's see here.
00:24:50Oh, yeah, you better put that seatbelt on there, buckaroo.
00:24:53What a mule.
00:24:54Hey, hey, Romero, esperate.
00:24:55Oh, you're gonna love this.
00:24:57Hang on.
00:24:59Whoo!
00:25:13Cool! Way cool!
00:25:17What are you guys doing in the hood?
00:25:18We're looking for our RV. Somebody stole it.
00:25:20Along with all our money and some tapes we plan to sell.
00:25:23Man, they'll chop the RV. By tomorrow, it'll be tuna cans.
00:25:26We're sunk if we don't get it back.
00:25:30We'll ask around.
00:25:31Yeah?
00:25:32You guys ever been to a block party?
00:25:35No.
00:25:37We're having one tonight. Why don't you come and hang out with us?
00:25:40Yeah.
00:25:41You like Mexican food?
00:25:42I bet we can learn.
00:25:45You think this wreck can keep up?
00:25:46Well, he may not dance, but the general sure can run.
00:25:49Whoo!
00:25:51Get out of my way!
00:25:57Oh, shoot!
00:25:58We lost them like a toad in a tornado.
00:26:00Now what?
00:26:01Well, that's easy, you little nut.
00:26:03All we have to do is ask somebody if they've seen my RV.
00:26:07Uh, excuse me, buddy.
00:26:10Did you happen to see a big ol' RV with a mama possum
00:26:13and a buzzard with collard greens in his beak?
00:26:17Oh, excuse me. I don't understand.
00:26:20Mm-hmm.
00:26:22Mm-hmm.
00:26:26Uh, excuse me, buddy.
00:26:29Did you happen to see an RV and painted on the side
00:26:33is a mama possum and a buzzard?
00:26:36Give it to me.
00:26:37No, no. He's got a collard green in his beak.
00:26:40Yeah, I want some of ya.
00:26:42Oh.
00:26:43Hey, hey.
00:26:45Hmm.
00:26:50That's a lot better water.
00:26:51Uh, excuse me.
00:26:53Did you see a...
00:26:58Life's cool threads look, dude.
00:27:00I maxed out my plastic for doopsie day.
00:27:02Oh, well...
00:27:04Ooh!
00:27:06Who drove those rivets in your face?
00:27:08I'll cuff them and stuff them up.
00:27:10Your lid is way too rad.
00:27:11Well...
00:27:12Go on.
00:27:13What did you...
00:27:23I wonder if he was asking about that odd-looking RV that went by.
00:27:27What language was that?
00:27:29His articulation seemed regional,
00:27:31but I didn't grasp his syntax.
00:27:34Yeah.
00:27:39Don't nobody speak American?
00:27:42Weird.
00:27:47Enos.
00:27:48It is so good to see you.
00:27:52Mmm.
00:27:54Hey, Lois.
00:27:55Is the vice mayor in, please?
00:27:57In conference and has the White House holding.
00:28:00But I'm sure vice mayor would love to see you.
00:28:04You have your reports in my office in one hour
00:28:06or I will personally rip out your lying tongues
00:28:08and use them for paperweights.
00:28:11Out!
00:28:13Vice mayor, Enos is here to see you.
00:28:17Enos.
00:28:19Will you send Enos in?
00:28:21What about the White House?
00:28:24Let him wait.
00:28:34Enos.
00:28:35Darling.
00:28:36Hey, Lois.
00:28:38These are my friends from Hazard.
00:28:41Daisy and Cooter.
00:28:42Charmed.
00:28:43Enos, you haven't returned any of my calls.
00:28:45I'm sorry, Roz.
00:28:46I've been pulling double shifts.
00:28:48Crime never sleeps.
00:28:49Well, the mayor will certainly call the chief about that.
00:28:52I think the chief already knows.
00:28:54No, Enos.
00:28:55I mean that you could use some R&R.
00:28:57Isn't there anything that I could give you?
00:29:00I could use a camping permit for Griffith Park.
00:29:03You're going camping?
00:29:04No man for my friends.
00:29:06Oh.
00:29:07Lois, call a permit waiver for Enos' friends.
00:29:09Will do.
00:29:11With that, you can camp in the mayor's living room if you want.
00:29:14Thank you, Roz.
00:29:16How long have you known Enos?
00:29:18Four months, two weeks, three days.
00:29:20A burglar broke into my home and Enos arrested him.
00:29:24Roz keeps having me over for dinner.
00:29:26I'm teaching her to cook.
00:29:28I bet you are.
00:29:36Hi.
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00:34:16Morning baby.
00:34:17Morning.
00:34:18Don't forget the regs dude.
00:34:19Igor.
00:34:20Do we have the tapes?
00:34:21Well, the Dukes told me the tapes were stolen.
00:34:22You believe that?
00:34:23Can you believe Cossacks?
00:34:24What are those crazy Russians doing here?
00:34:34Hand over tapes.
00:34:37Or die.
00:34:40You know, the Dukes ain't doing too bad for their first day in L.A.
00:34:50The tapes?
00:34:51Now?
00:34:52Yeah.
00:34:53Sure.
00:34:54We got...
00:34:55We got tapes.
00:34:56I don't know what the heck you'd want with them, though, because they ain't worth hardly
00:35:00nothing.
00:35:01You call $500,000 nothing?
00:35:04Only in America, huh?
00:35:05There you go.
00:35:06Right here.
00:35:07Yeah.
00:35:08Here you go.
00:35:10Those tapes are worth a half-million dollars, and we've got them.
00:35:31We can sell them to Igor.
00:35:32Cool.
00:35:33No, no, no.
00:35:34Let him keep chasing after the Dukes.
00:35:35We'll sell them to Igor later.
00:35:37Take the money, and run.
00:35:38Let's go.
00:35:39Man's a genius.
00:35:40What up?
00:35:41Would you mind telling me how the heck you ended up with the tape?
00:35:42Oh, it was a blank tape.
00:35:43That's all I could think of.
00:35:44Don't fool me.
00:35:45We've got to keep those guys away from the others.
00:35:46Well, at least it's our kind of country.
00:35:47With our trap lines.
00:35:48Yeah.
00:35:49Yeah.
00:35:50Yeah.
00:35:51Yeah.
00:35:52Yeah.
00:35:53Yeah.
00:35:54Yeah.
00:35:55Yeah.
00:35:56Yeah.
00:35:57Yeah.
00:35:58Yeah.
00:35:59Yeah.
00:36:00Yeah.
00:36:01Yeah.
00:36:02Yeah.
00:36:03Yeah.
00:36:04With our trap lines.
00:36:34What are you doing, what did the police say?
00:36:46Old air mail special?
00:36:47Hey, come back!
00:36:48There's a good one!
00:36:49There he is.
00:36:50Don't eat metal!
00:36:51Why's it gotta be me?
00:36:52You're a smokejumper, aren't you?
00:36:53You're a good boy.
00:36:54You're a good boy.
00:36:55You're a good boy.
00:36:56You're a good boy.
00:36:57You're a good boy.
00:36:58You're a good boy.
00:36:59You're a good boy.
00:37:00You're a good boy.
00:37:01You're a good boy.
00:37:02You're a good boy.
00:37:04Easy, easy, easy.
00:37:14Pop in a general and lead him away from the camper.
00:37:16That's a good idea.
00:37:21Show'em this tape.
00:37:22Make sure they see it.
00:37:33I think we lost him you know Luke I think this would go over real big and
00:38:02Hazard I love this town
00:38:11oh man tranny's gonna go I'm gonna find one out here oh where we find one we
00:38:16better find one quick listen to that thing
00:38:23hey Cypriano called he's at the Opacos he found some more information about the
00:38:29guys who stole your RV let's check it out come on honey I'll give you a lift
00:38:43boss I'm watching their campsite by now any normal person would have just given
00:38:51up but hazard folks ain't exactly normal and besides they was attacked that just
00:38:57set their blood of boiling so Roscoe and Daisy was figuring on ways to raise
00:39:04the money you see old Roscoe still has the first dollar he ever earned stealing
00:39:09watermelons with a triple-a credit rating he's going to the bank to get a
00:39:12loan and Daisy is gonna see what she can raise on the streets no not that way
00:39:27I'm coming here hold that come on let's follow them and see where they go
00:39:44I'll just try to keep her between the ditches
00:39:49excuse me brother I'm sheriff rush cold rain from hazard and I'm looking for a
00:39:55bank you found it where is it there's no teller nobody's seen a teller in
00:40:05years everybody banks from a machine
00:40:09excuse me I'm sheriff rush cold rain from hazard and this is police business so let me have this machine
00:40:19here let's clear the area
00:40:24excuse me miss I'm looking for a loan insert bank ID how about a driver's
00:40:30license enter code number card rejected have a nice day friends this may take a
00:40:41while so I found these credit card receipts in the RV trash they must have
00:40:47been dropped by the carjackers they charge gas all the way across the
00:40:50country same route we took would be following us obviously somebody who
00:40:55didn't want us to sell him tapes Ezra Bushmaster no way he said he wanted a
00:41:01hospital named after him then who
00:41:17patch those were hot pots you traded me for that engine please thought I stole
00:41:22them Deacon I didn't know they were stolen I swear baby baby when I'm done
00:41:28with you you will win the ugly cup now that was a custom racing engine I want
00:41:33it back I sold it to some New Jersey dudes Jersey they operate out of
00:41:42Tealpaca's chop shop put your engine in an old orange car if you're lying I'm
00:41:48gonna put you one good eye in my next Martini
00:42:00there's a big zero one painted on the side you can't miss it better not you
00:42:07know that old boy's lying about that engine just to get the Dukes in trouble
00:42:44I'm Freddy the ferret pleased to meet you mr. ferret I know it's not um never
00:42:51mind how much money you need I'm needing $20,000 you were gonna need
00:42:56private financing for that kind of bread no no no not bread you see what I need
00:43:01is your no bread money no matter you would love just the right people oh
00:43:06really oh goody-goody gumdrops our class won the Bible no machines come
00:43:12with me oh they are gonna love you well most people do you mean you don't know
00:43:18any of these people that are after you maybe it's our fatal charm
00:43:25Hey lady hey lady what are you doing I'm taking your butt ugly car you might
00:43:40want to disarm the anti-theft device first what anti-theft device
00:43:5415 of them Oh how they get out of the bag 15 snakes 14 in the sack you do
00:44:09thing from Jersey are you
00:44:14what
00:44:24I need you Sharon Sharon this is my good friend Roscoe Pete Coltrane
00:44:36Roscoe's looking for a loan Roscoe this is Sharon
00:44:41her friends calling the shark
00:44:45delighted so what can I do for you long man excuse me ma'am
00:44:54what are you trying to pull that woman probably doesn't have a dime to her name
00:44:58what well she couldn't have she's eating cut bait
00:45:06sorry we ain't seen your engine but but Deacon do you have any idea we can get a
00:45:10transmission for the general sure I jumped y'all will be down hey I knew
00:45:18you were bluffing there ain't no snake loose in that car hey Teresa whoa it's
00:45:26just a harmless corn snake yeah but with rattlesnakes running around who bothers
00:45:30to check and when I think of all the loot I wasted on guard dogs that's 20
00:45:37grand plus 10 large for the big for the big interest you get 20 you pay back 30
00:45:44in 72 hours oh well that sounds fair a final point round eyes my money back on
00:45:51time or my boys take this much skin off your gluteus maximus and that's just a
00:46:01dollar now this fella patch is really making a nuisance of himself
00:46:28yep friends Hollywood is one tough town
00:46:46here it is Deacon it's a right classy place yeah I think about franchising it
00:46:55all across America come on in okay got a transmission that'll fit six hundred
00:47:02dollars six hundred dollars is that the best you can do Deacon yeah what is that
00:47:11I smell I smoked 200 pounds of barbecue a week for the church we sell it best in
00:47:21the West
00:47:25mind if I give it a taste thank you
00:47:32well now be honest you won't hurt my feelings no no it's real good but tell
00:47:40you the truth I have tasted better hell you say Luke try some of that
00:47:51that is right there's our uncle Jesse's famous recipe
00:47:56you want to tell me what's in that sauce you want to let us have that
00:48:00transmission on credit
00:48:02miss tuna I got good news I got bad news the good news is they didn't shoot
00:48:21us but the bad news is there two men out there in the parking lot that stole your
00:48:25money no no your money I give you $20,000 of my money and you have to pay
00:48:32$35,000 of your money and then it becomes my money again
00:48:35and Ron I don't even think about leaving town you have got some bad karma
00:48:49looks pretty good Deacon secret of that recipe is ramps that's a wild garlic
00:48:56where the hell am I gonna find ramps hey guys Mexican punch made from pineapple
00:49:06and mango hey look favorite stuff is great
00:49:13bringing this what makes you so pretty you have such a line I love it
00:49:22I'll need in a line Isabel now Luke I'll tell you I'm scared to death
00:49:31what I don't know whether to go for it or cut and run don't run I did it's the
00:49:43worst mistake I ever made in my life
00:49:47I met Anita in Montana when I was at the smoke jumping center she waited
00:49:57tables days and sang at a local club at night it was that once-in-a-lifetime
00:50:04thing when you know it's right
00:50:18I felt she was good enough to make it in Nashville
00:50:36until the winds of change
00:50:42come and blow the clouds away
00:50:47I'll still feel the shame
00:50:52a label that heard her demo asked her to go to Nashville for a showcase
00:50:58she didn't want to go just wanted to stay with me
00:51:20we couldn't weather like a fool I told her to go try
00:51:39so I put her on a bus to Nashville
00:51:51wrong
00:51:55that's the last time I saw her
00:52:09you never told me that Anita was Anita Blackwell week after she hit Nashville
00:52:15she had a recording contract y'all say she did three albums four Grammys later
00:52:20she's in LA making her first movie and you haven't seen her since that morning
00:52:25she called wanted me to move to Nashville getting married well come on
00:52:32Luke I wasn't ready to make a commitment sound familiar
00:52:43so why don't you go see her I mean she's she's here you're here I don't think her
00:52:48husband would appreciate that boat my point is don't walk away from someone
00:52:53wants to love you
00:53:07Daisy was looking to sell her motorcycle to raise cash until can we just get that
00:53:13in here a little bit quicker please what what am I working here alone go do
00:53:17something now what's going on we're making a movie lady sir we have a
00:53:23party so she's hurt get another stunt woman have another stunt woman we I only
00:53:27budgeted $1,000 $1,000 what's the stunt
00:53:39sometimes all it takes is a little timing and pure desperation mixed with
00:53:44abiding ignorance of the situation
00:53:53I can't go are you upset upset not of course I'm upset I'm gonna let the
00:54:00weasel of ferret here explain it to you yeah well Sheriff bad karma here got
00:54:05robbed the 20,000 he just borrowed baddest muscle in town see the bad news
00:54:11is that I owe $35,000 to this bait goblin woman and if I don't pay her back
00:54:17she's gonna take it out on my honey mm-hmm you know what that's worth
00:54:21$35,000 Roscoe I knew we should have never let you go down in this woman was
00:54:30she was so well she I'm leaving with your karma you'll be reincarnated as a
00:54:36roach and I say you know I shouldn't have helped the Dukes in the first place
00:54:40the Dukes is bad karma so I spend most of my time trying to hook a ride on the
00:54:51NASCAR circuit but how about you what you're gonna do maybe pursue the music
00:54:57career no my dreams still disappoint you no music is just fun finishing a
00:55:05business degree but that's not what I want well what what do you want a
00:55:11husband four kids two dogs and a horse what you got it all all figured out then
00:55:19don't you yeah except the husband
00:55:35Oh
00:55:38is that your heart out here racing or mine
00:55:45Oh cooter called we got to get over to campsite something about Roscoe's
00:55:49heinie you are Zia the heroine you climb out of a fifth-story window under the
00:55:58fire escape the Chinese Tong see you that's these little fellows right here
00:56:01gaggle of them you start at the fire escape they come after you then a Tong
00:56:06comes out the window you fight you knock him over the side and then you look up
00:56:12more Tong thugs up and down everywhere no escape you look around ah a clothes
00:56:20line filled with clothes you take a knife you slash the line you come
00:56:24swinging down four stories you land on the awning you escape think you can do
00:56:30that sure but what's the stud
00:56:36make up
00:56:39I'm out of here this music business is too doggone dangerous come on we're
00:56:51gonna kill me then they're gonna hurt me I've had about enough of this all right
00:57:02come on out of there
00:57:10all right you're in town well hey y'all it's it's Anita Blackwell
00:57:22can we go for a walk sure I know this is strange but I had to see you one more
00:57:34time glad you did I'm just wondering why you did to see if we were over and if I
00:57:44was over you sounds like one of your songs
00:57:50I knew the damage was done
00:57:59cause we didn't make it
00:58:04we didn't get to see the light break
00:58:10Oh
00:58:17it's a good marriage Luke but you're still a ghost you won't go away
00:58:27what do you want me to say
00:58:33I guess that you don't still love me
00:58:40you
00:58:48I can't say that
00:58:51I wish I could
00:59:02I wish you could too
00:59:11I am
00:59:18until the winds have changed
00:59:24come and blow the clouds away
00:59:29I'll still feel the shame
00:59:32and deal with the pain
00:59:35every time it rains
00:59:47you have my tapes how did you get them brains and quickness the price to you
00:59:57250 grand so meet me tonight at the bloody bucket and bring the tapes why
01:00:07the bloody bucket because it's Saturday set bail garbage you mean sorry white
01:00:15trash whatever
01:00:20quiet please pictures up and good all right you toss them over good tighter
01:00:41tighter tighter yeah that's it okay Tom's everywhere you're afraid you're
01:00:47afraid you're but you're gonna fight him good good that's a cut it's good
01:01:00stuff yeah I think it's good and I'm getting paid for this
01:01:10oh hey listen up please I've been checking up on this BB
01:01:15Baskin yeah and something ain't right I think we ought to pay him a visit I
01:01:19think maybe one of us ought to stay here in case Deacon or Cipriano show up with
01:01:22news about the RV I go you stay here with Gabby all right I can do that
01:01:28fantastic beautiful perfect okay one more sure I am out of here Brazil sunshine
01:01:53women and no Enos and Luke convinced BB to open his heart BB's real name was
01:02:06Billy Bob Thomas and he had a string of convictions a country mile long for music
01:02:10fraud he told them all about Igor and the bloody bucket meetings meanwhile Bo
01:02:27and Gabby took a stroll to look at the stars I tell you friends Oh Bo was
01:02:31smitten but bad how do you do when this is all over probably I would just go
01:02:43back east and try to get you right on that old NASCAR you know we won't see
01:02:50each other again I really hope you're wrong about that Gabby
01:03:01somewhere between you know that song yeah Merle Haggard song yes wait wait
01:03:13wait let's see somewhere between your heart and mine there's a window that I
01:03:28can't see through there's a wall so high that it reaches the sky and it's
01:03:43somewhere between me and you
01:03:51somewhere between your heart and mine there's a window that I can't see through
01:04:06there's a wall so high that it reaches the sky and it's somewhere between me
01:04:19and you
01:04:24somewhere between me and you
01:04:49yeah yeah Cooter what do you want Lucas has to meet him and Enos at the bloody
01:05:05bucket why the bloody bucket because it's Saturday
01:05:20you see old Igor and his lovely wife Alleluia but never miss the Saturday
01:05:25night line dancing contest at the bloody but because Russians love dancing more
01:05:30than red cabbage they have done them flashy Monterey turns and kickball
01:06:06do you feel sexy for my jacket baby
01:06:19thanks baby did you bring the tapes
01:06:26did you bring the money did you lose your mind engineered my warehouse ago
01:06:37check the tapes if they are okay you got the money is that simple
01:06:56the guy with the patches got our tapes yeah plus the lease with all our money
01:07:05Enos why don't you make sure Roscoe's all right we'll follow Pat all right
01:07:26I had to meet Igor at the bloody bucket come on to go
01:07:41Cooter come in Cooter come in dang it CB must be broke I don't think Enos has a
01:07:49CB we can't wait Gabby you better wait here girl okay and uh Bo is your life
01:08:01always this exciting dull as dirt till I met you maybe it's our chemistry
01:08:20you
01:08:40here's the tapes Igor said to call him after you've checked him out be careful
01:08:45course you kidding
01:08:54soon as we get the money we're traveling
01:08:59what do you think I ever been to Rio de Janeiro with that warm sand of brown
01:09:05skin girls
01:09:16why don't you oh you got something to ours we do hey hey
01:09:26you'll Billy
01:09:32now don't worry folks help will arrive just in the nick of time
01:09:40Oh
01:09:44then again maybe not
01:10:09Oh
01:10:19Oh Oh No
01:10:23hello Cooter Cipriano somebody please
01:10:30what is that and that's my puppy that's Albert he's a toy dog
01:10:44you see the real Albert he he passed and he went to doggie heaven oh you know I
01:10:51have a cat Lotus she's 13 you were gonna leave town not exactly
01:10:59I was just gonna go back to hazard and raise taxes so I could pay you no no no
01:11:05no no no no no you don't fool me you're one of those smart country types who
01:11:09just pretends to be stupid you know the way that woman reads people it's a
01:11:13miracle she ever made a dime loan shark
01:11:18I really am that's stupid
01:11:27miss Sharon what's going on you promised a judge you'd leave town if he'd give
01:11:32you probation now yes I tried to make a new life but well you wouldn't return my
01:11:37calls not another one chef Roscoe what's this all about what's it about
01:11:43$35,000 in my honey are you making loans again miss Sharon
01:11:47that violates your probation ma'am if you would have just called me back loans
01:11:51probation have been Enos in California it's not against the law to give money
01:11:59away is he no sir not yet well miss Sharon here she said she's
01:12:06willing to just forget that $20,000 loan for the fun right and in fact she's
01:12:13gonna add her $10,000 and sort of a fig that's a big golly miss you're in there
01:12:21is that true bright brown eyes that's mighty generous living this year how I'm
01:12:31proud of you
01:12:34they must have followed me from the bloody bucket he's so quick you dare
01:12:43challenge eager the terrible stupid redheads it's rednecks that's right
01:12:52stupid rednecks kill them say your prayers boys
01:13:05okay okay you win hillbillies have everyone on their side
01:13:28we really took those guys it was an earthquake Bo thought we were doing
01:13:34good Gabby the money we got the tapes we got no
01:13:37car that's 1,500 bucks a thousand for the stunt and 500 for the fight a good
01:13:54night's work babe kiss kiss this is Daisy what's going on
01:14:11follow the one a man to warehouse then more bad guys showed up I'm on Pico okay
01:14:18Weston Pico and you'll see me okay okay okay
01:14:48what Oh hey boss have you destroyed the tapes taking care of them right now
01:15:04you know I'm kind of busy now boss can I get back to you as soon as possible
01:15:11got him you know once you've gone to ground it's best not to move too soon
01:15:18here all right like now
01:15:22hey
01:15:45finally the Dukes are going down
01:15:52what the hell's that
01:16:15Daisy you crazy you know this family don't use firearms that was a prop that
01:16:20was a real
01:16:28on the other hand are real where are you we're going south on Normandy please
01:16:37where are you coming please
01:17:08brother
01:17:19one move and I'll whoop you like a red-headed stepchild
01:17:37here they come
01:18:08Oh
01:18:16thank you guys
01:18:37Hey y'all, it looks like a shootout.
01:19:07Did you notice anything weird back there?
01:19:22I can't even tell anymore.
01:19:23Hello?
01:19:24You got the tapes?
01:19:25Boss!
01:19:26Open wide, this probe's for you.
01:19:32This is not a good time.
01:19:48The record companies had a reward out for uncovering that music piracy operation.
01:19:54here's a check for $50,000 y'all realize we've raised eighty one thousand five
01:20:09hundred dollars in two days y'all is just a great town or what we are coming
01:20:15back here next year and raising money to open up a veterinary clinic
01:20:24well the Dukes came home to hazard without incident anyway everybody made
01:20:35it back to the groundbreaking and I do mean everybody
01:20:39Ezra Ezra you nearly pulled this thing off yeah you see the LAPD they call and
01:20:49this patch fella spilled his guts why'd you do it anyways revenge for running me
01:20:55out oh I was gonna string all the hazards along for years trying to raise
01:21:00money for a hospital that would never be built Oh Bush master that is the
01:21:05honoree thing that I ever heard well thank you now I'm gonna take over I am
01:21:11running for sheriff and boss
01:21:16didn't get his comeuppance but he's gonna have a tough road to hold he's
01:21:20gonna move back to hazard and tangle with the Dukes count on it
01:21:24be kind glad you could make it to the groundbreaking me too I had to get me
01:21:30some ramp seed hell I may even open a junkyard here I just wish I could figure
01:21:36out this PS uncle Jesse's secret ingredient that looks good what's it my
01:21:42favorite Pickles guppernogs pickles guppernogs that's it that's it pickles
01:21:53guppernogs
01:21:57hmm that's really righteous you know uncle Jesse always said that his sauce
01:22:04could save a marriage if you used it regular
01:22:09hmm
01:22:14hmm you know I just noticed you are a very attractive man
01:22:30you've been calling her three days and she's not in yeah and her mom won't tell
01:22:34me where she is either
01:23:08I'm sorry
01:23:17you were always a perfect one and a valedictorian so under your number I
01:23:23broke off for a good time
01:23:28you get your attention but you overlooked me
01:23:34this side you had too many boyfriends to mention and I played my guitar to
01:23:41laugh how do you like me now
01:23:46how do you like me now now that I'm on my way
01:23:51you still think I'm crazy standing here today
01:23:56I couldn't make you love me but I always dreamed about living in your radio
01:24:02how do you like me now
01:24:12when I took off to Tennessee I heard that you made fun of me
01:24:18never imagined I'd make you this far
01:24:20then you married in the money girl
01:24:22ain't it a cruel and funny world
01:24:24he took your dreams
01:24:26and he told them they're wrong
01:24:28he never comes home
01:24:30he never comes home
01:24:32and you're always alone
01:24:34and your kids hear you cry down the hall
01:24:38the alarm clock starts ringing
01:24:40who could that be singing
01:24:42it's me baby
01:24:44would you wake up call
01:24:46how do you like me now
01:24:54thank you
01:24:56we have a very special guest
01:24:59recording star
01:25:01and Grammy winner
01:25:03Anita Blackwell
01:25:17thanks Toby
01:25:19wanna stay up and jam with me
01:25:29thank you
01:25:35staring out my window
01:25:37who's that I see
01:25:39he sure does look familiar
01:25:41he's wearing blue jeans
01:25:43I can't tell you where I saw him
01:25:45was it on a late night screen
01:25:47cowboy in the city
01:25:49something I ain't never seen
01:25:51he's knocking on the door
01:25:53of my two room flat
01:25:55right let him in
01:25:57what I would give
01:25:59to love a man like that
01:26:01he walks that
01:26:03western walk
01:26:05southern talkie
01:26:07rodeo
01:26:09comes from San Antonio
01:26:11and he's driving
01:26:13a big old Cadillac
01:26:15yeah I can love a man
01:26:17like that
01:26:19yes I can love a man
01:26:21like that
01:26:27boy wouldn't
01:26:29uncle Jesse
01:26:31have loved this
01:26:33he walks that
01:26:35western walk
01:26:37southern talkie
01:26:39rides a rodeo
01:26:41he comes from San Antonio
01:26:43and he's driving
01:26:45a big old Cadillac
01:26:47yeah I can love a man
01:26:49like that
01:26:51yeah I can love a man
01:26:53like that
01:26:55yeah I can love a man
01:26:57like that
01:26:59yeah I can love a man
01:27:01like that
01:27:25yeah
01:27:33yeah
01:27:39yeah
01:27:55yeah