Emmerdale 8th August 2024
Emmerdale 8th August 2024
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TVTranscript
00:0026, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47,
00:2826, 27. I'm going to enjoy this. Back to it. The open road. 28. You were the last resort.
00:39No offence. You could do with some Botox. No offence.
00:46Will's gone to ground for a while. Woman aggro. Well, you marry Kim, you sign up for aggro.
00:52You know, I'm surprised that you've hitched your wagon to this lot.
01:01You know, Holmes Farm is cursed. Thanks for the reminder. Yeah, but the curse was lifted the day
01:09that you met my Nicola. Why is that? Because I inherited you? Yes. Just get this lot dropped
01:18off safely and come back here. I have driven these before, you know. What? Cab's that way.
01:26In France. Keep still. You're like a child. It's fine. Who's dead? Oh, no one close. Oh,
01:38so you're just going for the free signings then? Barbara, 90 years, old friend. And she was getting
01:45jiggy with the council bigwig, so he could be hobnobbing along. What can I get you? Flat white,
01:51please. Ah, there he is. Car done? No. No, unfortunately not. It's not ready.
01:59It's ready for service. A minor one at that. Yeah. Yeah, I've been busy. But it's August.
02:06This is a busy time for any motorist road. Why?
02:12Well, pollen. I better get the keys and drop it off later. Well, Cain,
02:20Cain's already on with it. Yeah, yeah, Cain's doing it. I walked past him earlier,
02:24saw his little legs poking out from underneath. Maybe Vic could take you. Me? I don't think
02:30he owes me any favours. I certainly don't. But I do owe you my thanks for convincing him to come
02:36clean over Pizzagate. Aw, well, he's a decent fella, really. I just hide it rather well. Well,
02:43lucky for you, I'm openly kind and have a few hours to spare, so... I don't want to take up
02:49your day. Excellent. It's all sorted. So you guys can go and do that, and I will have your
02:54wheels all shiny and new by tea time. You're not trying to fleece me, are you?
02:58No, no, no. He is paying for your coffee. Oh, she looks like a little mobile.
03:06Cherry, these are all cheese and onion. What?
03:10I printed loads off my phone, and I'm going to stick some in frames, put them in my bedroom.
03:14Gives Esther something to cringe about when she's a little older. Well, that makes no sense.
03:17Seems as though it says salt and vinegar on the box. Yeah, I know. Sounded a little strange.
03:22Maybe it was a wild night in the packing department. Well, thanks for parting with a few.
03:27I'm sure they'll brighten up Samson's day. And hisself.
03:34Yeah, I mean, he can hardly string up one in, can he? Time's visiting. Half one. Sam's going.
03:40I thought I might take Esther shopping while we're waiting. Well, hey,
03:44Noah's at home feeling sorry for himself. You want to go see him?
03:46Oh, possibly not.
03:53We've split up. Since when?
03:55Yesterday. So that's why he pulled a sickie this morning.
03:59Dark horse. He never said a peep. He's not done the dirty, has he?
04:03No. No, we've just got a bit bored growing apart.
04:08Oh. Well, hey, listen, Esther's future's not going to be boring, is it?
04:12With all Noah's trust fund coming her way. Well, that's for them to discuss.
04:17Hey, come on, why don't we go and check if madam's woken up from her nap yet?
04:26Twenty quid says there's way more to this.
04:31Yes, Eric, Cain's on it with the repairs. How is that a wise move?
04:35Just call the locksmith again. I have, Aaron, but he can't be there till five.
04:39And then he was giving it all, no, no, might not be till tomorrow, pal.
04:42Right, well, well, Cain's going to start asking questions now.
04:46You were the one who wanted to go off in Eric's car on the pool with that guy. What was his name?
04:51Rats, will you stop asking that? It's getting needy.
04:53What about spare keys? Eric must have some.
04:54What's this? Lightering? Thought you were up against it.
04:58Yeah, you lazy git.
04:59Oh, flowers.
05:02Er, I forgot flowers.
05:04So, in other words, Victoria, go to the shop.
05:07Right, my car is parked round the back. Go get settled.
05:10Right. Can you hurry? I want a decent seat.
05:16You owe me way more than a flat white.
05:18An elfick.
05:18You've got three hours maximum. Get it sorted.
05:28I found that missing sheet. Penned it in, but she's covered in brambles. Any shears?
05:32Er, yep, top of the fridge.
05:35Er, do you fancy a brew?
05:37No, I'm not thirsty.
05:39Well, I was about to make a sandwich.
05:40I've eaten.
05:42Hey. Have you and Amy had words?
05:46Me and Amy?
05:49What? Hang on, what's all this?
05:53This? Oh, yeah, this is obviously my problem. Maybe I just need to, er, man the hell up.
06:00Erm, yesterday, Mum.
06:03Oh, that.
06:05Look, maybe it just came out wrong.
06:09You proper went in.
06:11Right, then, well, maybe it was a bit unsubtle.
06:14Unsubtle? Mum, you were brutal.
06:19Look, I'm sorry, love. It's not you. It's me just being ratty.
06:25Look, all I seem to do is work.
06:28And if I'm not working, I'm cooking, or washing, or bugging the kids about mess.
06:33But the last thing I want to do is upset you.
06:38Friends.
06:39Look at you. You and your Glaswegian charm, eh?
06:44Look, if there is a problem with you and Cain...
06:47No, there isn't, honest.
06:49I always said that I would turn into a cantankerous old bag.
06:53Now, do you need a hand trimming the sheep?
06:54No, no. You relax. I'll be the barber.
06:57Okay. Permission to leave.
06:59All right.
07:08Oi. You left these.
07:12Oh, I don't really know what to do with them, Mum.
07:17Can't you pop them on the coffee?
07:19Yes, it's a bit awkward.
07:21Um, I tell you what, um, you hold on to them for now,
07:25and I'll go and ask counsellor Fitztilly how his wife's shingles are.
07:46What time's it due to start?
07:50Ten minutes.
07:53Oh, don't judge. I'm just the chauffeur.
07:56The hat gave it away.
07:58Every time.
08:02So, ex-pupil?
08:06No.
08:07But she was a teacher, right? Belinda?
08:11Barbara.
08:13Sorry.
08:15Yeah. Bit of a battle axe.
08:20Is that why there's not many here?
08:22No, there's more around the back.
08:24You're avoiding the idle chit-chat.
08:27And sympathy.
08:31Barbara was my mum.
08:33Right. Oh, God. Um, I'm so sorry for your loss.
08:42Look, get to the salon. At least try and bring in some dollar.
08:46I've got no bookings.
08:47The salon's on divert. I'd prefer to just sit here and cake myself into oblivion.
08:51Ladies, £9.80, I believe.
08:55Um, I'll get this.
08:57I'll show it you next time.
08:59Keep the change.
09:00Thank you. Oh, um, while you're here, I'm gonna have to cancel my trim tomorrow.
09:05I've got hot yoghurt and I'll burn you off my list.
09:10You need to start the installation charges.
09:13Hey.
09:14Just wondered if you fancied a little mooch around town.
09:16I'm kid-free and that fancy shoe place has a sale on.
09:19Uh, she's working this afternoon.
09:22Oh, that's a shame.
09:24Chas got some really nice wedges from there.
09:26Proper landlady power shoes.
09:28But I'll see you later.
09:30Enjoy.
09:32And you wonder why I can't tell Paddy?
09:34His ex-wife does need to buy a pair of nice shoes and it's what?
09:36Our Chas Dynamic Boozer Boss.
09:39Stop it.
09:40Mandy, please.
09:42You are a successful business owner who's just hit a glitch.
09:47Paddy'll help.
09:49Chas, I've got that many bills I can turn them into bog roll.
09:52Look, there's only one woman that can sort this mess out and...
09:56I just need to work out how.
09:59Well, this is my cue.
10:02I really am sorry.
10:03I can be a right dipstick at times.
10:05Not much of a turnout.
10:08Why don't you come in?
10:10Swell the numbers.
10:11I'm sure there's plenty of people.
10:13You're saying Mum wasn't popular?
10:17No, no.
10:18Not at all.
10:20No, no.
10:20Small and intimate.
10:22Creme de la creme.
10:25I didn't realise that you were Barbara's son.
10:29Eric Pollard.
10:32Your mother and I go way back.
10:36John Sugden.
10:38Excuse me.
10:42Wait, did he just say...
10:58He said Sugden.
11:01I didn't quite hear.
11:03Hang on.
11:04How well did you know his mum?
11:06Music.
11:06It's started.
11:07I need to get in there.
11:08Are we related?
11:10I hate getting stuck in the back.
11:11Eric, stop and speak now or it'll be you in a box.
11:17I met Barbara Thrujack.
11:21They were friends.
11:23With benefits?
11:25More than likely.
11:281987, 88.
11:31So that man, John, he could be my...
11:35Half-brother.
11:39I've got your prezzi.
11:54Pop and crisps.
11:56Do you want five?
11:58And I don't like cheese and onion.
12:00Well, me neither.
12:01But, you know, it's a long story.
12:04Not at all.
12:06I'm ill.
12:07Oh.
12:08Lurgy?
12:10Heartbreak?
12:12Or maybe the dawning realisation
12:13that you've handed over your life savings to your ex's brat.
12:17I mean, come on.
12:18Why didn't you come to me about it?
12:22What's there to say?
12:25We're done.
12:27Found something hot or totty, have you?
12:31Course not.
12:33I've messed this one up all by myself.
12:36By doing what?
12:39Oh, no.
12:41Please tell me you haven't done another Chloe on me.
12:46Great.
12:47Yeah, cheers.
12:48Just go straight for the worst.
12:49Okay, well, then it can't be that bad, then.
12:54I didn't say that.
12:57Babe, just tell me what you've done.
13:03Mum, you're gonna hate me.
13:05Okay, you're scaring me now.
13:07Yeah.
13:09I called the police on Samson.
13:13It was me.
13:19Any dinner going?
13:22I thought you'd be eating at work.
13:24No, I've been fixing a battered wreck up the road since 9am.
13:29I thought it'd be quicker to come home.
13:32I, um...
13:35saw our Sam this morning.
13:36Off to visit Samson.
13:38Oh?
13:39Well, I'm sure you'll get used to it.
13:42Just like you got used to visiting Matty.
13:45Look, if you're here for another one of your very boring arguments,
13:48then I suggest you get lost.
13:51Hang on, what?
13:52I thought we'd been through all this.
13:53Why are you spawning for another fight?
13:56Maybe because I work all hours,
13:58I ferry the kids all over,
13:59I try and keep us afloat while you tinker with a few cars,
14:03and meanwhile you're convinced that you're the big breadwinner.
14:06It's all about money.
14:08No, it's about you, Cain.
14:10Using your time to teach that spineless nephew of yours how to fight
14:14when you should be earning to support your own kids.
14:16They don't go short.
14:17Aye, thanks to me.
14:18Why don't you say I'm completely useless?
14:21Your words, Cain.
14:27I knew you'd hurt me.
14:28Well, that's the least he worries.
14:30Sam will bury you.
14:31You can't tell Sam.
14:33Lydia said not to.
14:34Lydia?
14:36I told her yesterday.
14:39She said it'd be all pitchforks and arguing if you found out,
14:41and she can't handle it.
14:44And what about poor Moira?
14:45Everyone's pointing the finger at her,
14:46and she's squeaky clean.
14:48And I know I shouldn't have grasped on Samson,
14:50but he's hardly innocent, is he?
14:53You agreed.
14:55He's only got himself to blame.
14:57But, Noah, you knew he was already going down.
15:00I got jealous.
15:01Or I...
15:02I...
15:03He started to worm his way back in with Amelia, and I...
15:08I hated it.
15:10What, so you just figured that if he rocked up at court in handcuffs,
15:14what, they'd throw the book at him?
15:15Well done.
15:16Full marks, Noah.
15:21Amelia thinks I'm scum.
15:24You do and all.
15:25Oh, come here, you prawn.
15:32Do you think something will kill me?
15:35Well, if there's anything left.
15:36After Cain's gouged out your innards.
15:40No one's gonna hear anything, all right?
15:51Well done, my boy.
15:53Don't have pride, sir.
15:54John?
15:55We need to be on our way.
15:57Don't want to get a parking ticket, do we?
15:59Hi.
16:00Um, I didn't introduce myself earlier.
16:02I'm Victoria Sugden.
16:05Hi.
16:07You did hear what I said?
16:10Yeah.
16:11We need to go.
16:12I'm a Sugden, Jack's daughter.
16:14Right.
16:16Well, I did think he had kids other than me.
16:19You knew?
16:21You're my brother, and you've always known.
16:24You take care, love.
16:26Look, Mum never made a secret of it.
16:30She was straight down the line.
16:31Everything proper.
16:33That's why she insisted I took his surname.
16:35So Dad knew, too?
16:37Who's to say?
16:39He never made it known if he did.
16:41No.
16:42No way.
16:42Dad wasn't like that.
16:43I'm not dissing him.
16:44I'm just saying he wouldn't have had to dig hard, would he?
16:46Being so local.
16:48If he knew, he would have wanted you in his life.
16:51Maybe he would, but I wouldn't.
16:53I had an old man, didn't need another.
16:56Now, if you don't mind, I'm bursting for a pee.
17:06Careful!
17:07Sorry.
17:08Didn't mean to moisten your technical bits.
17:10Lift up.
17:14Must be nice running your own business.
17:18Hanging out in the pub.
17:21Gee Sony on the side.
17:23Catching up with you.
17:26I made a million farming llamas.
17:27Oi, keep your beak out!
17:29Sorry, but do you have the room for llamas?
17:32What?
17:32If they're going to earn me a million, I'd share my duvet with them.
17:35Oh.
17:36That thing's a bit pinchy.
17:37Oh, even Alan Sugar has cash flow issues.
17:42Scale of one to ten, how are your feet?
17:44Four.
17:45Three, possibly.
17:47Oh, shame.
17:48I read an article the other week about a woman who sold photos of her feet online.
17:52To perverts.
17:54To people with a particular interest in feet.
17:56Perverts, then.
17:57She made 200 quid a piggy.
17:59How much?
18:00Yeah, people will pay for her out these days.
18:03I don't want to flash my beans.
18:04Oh, no, no, no.
18:05No, no, no. I just want some daft minted sucker to give me the money.
18:08Say that again.
18:09I just want some daft minted sucker to give me the money.
18:12Pay up, ugly mug.
18:14Now, I will give you a job.
18:15What's that I made?
18:17Oh, it's an online financial dominatrix.
18:22Obviously.
18:23I thought it was a silent treatment, then.
18:40She's doing my nutting.
18:41Are you looking for any reason to have a go?
18:43Well, maybe it's because you know I'm right and your ego can't take it.
18:47My ego?
18:49Do you want me to spell it out?
18:51Please do.
18:53I am sick of being the one that always has to bear the brunt.
18:58You know, the pressure's constantly on me, Cain.
19:02If you can't hack looking after this place, then let's get some help.
19:05Well, I could hack it better if you ever had my back.
19:08Yeah, but we share the load. We always have.
19:14Maybe you need to talk to Liam.
19:17Because?
19:18Because obviously something's not right.
19:21You might need some pills.
19:23Okay.
19:24Wow.
19:27I can't say anything right, can I?
19:28I'm going to say that, Sam.
19:31That's right.
19:32Forget working, forget picking up the kids.
19:36I'll get it all sorted.
19:37Yeah, well, you did say everyone's better off without me.
19:44I don't get this.
19:45Any of it.
19:51Go in there, see if he's still in the loo.
19:53And give me a pen.
19:55Hi.
19:56I'm not going around skulking in a toilet looking for him.
20:01Oh, hey.
20:03Eric wants to know where the wake is.
20:07Uh, I think John needs to get through the burial first.
20:12No, I'm leaving that to the vicar. I've said my goodbyes.
20:14I think a few council cronies are off to the dog and drake.
20:17Ah, yes.
20:19Politics, emotions, whiskey.
20:22No, no, no.
20:24Home for me.
20:27Meet you in the car.
20:29Well, nice to meet you both.
20:33Nice to meet me?
20:34Is that it?
20:39Do you know that Dad passed away?
20:42So it's just me now.
20:43Oh, and our brother Robert.
20:46Half-brother.
20:47Hmm, I think I've heard of him.
20:50Yeah, well, he's in prison.
20:52And we have another adopted half-brother too, Andy.
20:57Nice.
20:58Right.
21:01Nothing. You're really not interested, are you?
21:04Just not an itch I've wanted to scratch.
21:06Yeah, but now you've met me, surely-
21:09It's nothing personal.
21:13Okay, um, do you have paper?
21:19Yeah.
21:23Well, I can't write on that.
21:26Look, I'm sorry that this happened today.
21:29I know it's not ideal, but once you've had time to process it-
21:33I've had 35 years, love.
21:34Yeah, but that was before you clapped eyes on me.
21:38Please, just let me give you my number.
21:44I just don't see any point.
21:48Bye.
21:49Bye.
22:07Hiya. Amy says she can get the kids from summer club.
22:10Mum?
22:14Hey, are you all right?
22:18Mum?
22:19Mum?
22:21Mum?
22:24Were you just having a kick?
22:26Ah.
22:28Well, I didn't plan to, but I must have dozed off.
22:35Oh, are you feeling all right?
22:37Your joints cocaine, or something?
22:39No, definitely not.
22:42No, I've just had a few mad early starts this week.
22:46And I did leave for half my lunch.
22:48You're not eating properly.
22:50No, um, Cain came home and, I don't know, we had a bit of a set to-
22:57I knew it.
22:59What's his problem now?
23:02Well, I told him that I was too stretched,
23:06and I asked for his support, and he chucked it back in my face.
23:10Mum, if you're conking out from stress, that's serious.
23:15You guys need to communicate better.
23:17No, I just don't feel like he's on my side anymore.
23:22Oh.
23:24Have I caused all this, getting banged up?
23:27No, no, it's not you, it's me.
23:31Just, it's like he's waiting for me to trip up,
23:34and he's always on my case,
23:37and if he finds out that I'm falling asleep during the day,
23:40he'll say I'm not coping.
23:42Who cares what he says?
23:44Look, do you want me to talk to him?
23:46No, no.
23:46Look, I'm gonna eat some food and chill out for a bit,
23:50and I'll be tipped up.
23:52Honest.
23:53Don't mention anything, please.
23:55Right, well, if this happens again, then you're seeing a doctor, all right?
24:02I'll make you a coffee.
24:03Oh, that'd be lovely, son.
24:04Thanks.
24:16Ah, brilliant.
24:46Find garages near me.
25:00What are you even doing?
25:01Anything, Aaron.
25:02I'm trying to do anything.
25:04If I can at least pop the bonnet,
25:06I can get started in this goddamn service.
25:09Is it still time to go and rub Pollard's gaff?
25:11No, no.
25:13I actually think we're in deep enough dung as it is.
25:15Thank you, though.
25:16Thinking on your feet.
25:16Well done.
25:18Let's hope that's the lock monkey.
25:20Well, if it's Keen or Eric, you're welcome to take the call.
25:24Barn and Dingle.
25:25Free cock up with any service.
25:29Yeah, where are you?
25:32Oh, OK.
25:32Yeah, I know where you are.
25:36Yeah, yeah, I'll come and get you now.
25:38Yep, OK, bye.
25:40You're not being serious.
25:41Now?
25:42What priorities, man?
25:42This is a time bomb.
25:43Eric could be back any minute.
25:44Yeah, listen, as soon as Keen finds out about this, I'm dead.
25:48But if Keen finds out that I've pied off other work because of this,
25:51I'm even more dead.
25:52Fine.
25:53Do you want me to just keep peddling with this thing?
25:55No, no, Aaron.
25:56I want you to sit here and I want you to wait for the locksmith.
25:59I don't want you to try and break into Eric's car
26:01and I don't want you to break into his house.
26:03I don't want you to swan off like some kind of tomcat in heat
26:06in search of a mate.
26:07Comprende?
26:08Comprende?
26:08Yeah.
26:09Do you understand?
26:10Yes.
26:15Of course I'll talk to our driver, but...
26:18Yes, I understand your frustration.
26:21I'll get back to you as soon as I've grilled our team.
26:24Bye.
26:25Orange is a joy.
26:27Here.
26:28I truly think I have found my rightful place in the world.
26:34Unlike part of your delivery which never found its rightful place.
26:38What?
26:38That was Gorman's giving me earache.
26:40Two boxes of goods have gone missing.
26:42Well, it's got nothing to do with me.
26:44You loaded the van, I just drove it there and back.
26:46No stops.
26:47I checked that in and counted it up and it was fine.
26:50Maybe you need your eyes testing.
26:52I won't be able to afford it.
26:53This is one of our biggest clients we're talking about
26:56and they're threatening to walk.
26:57It could end us.
26:58I'm serious.
27:00I'm sure the stock will turn up.
27:01Are you sure you didn't stop at a service station?
27:04You know what your bladder's like.
27:06So now I'm an incontinent geriatric, eh?
27:09Or did you do a side hustle and flog them?
27:12I'm not listening to this.
27:14Well, they must have gone somewhere.
27:25All right.
27:27What's this? Picket line?
27:29Why not make it really authentic, set fire to the coffee table?
27:31It's funny you should say that because I kind of have been striking.
27:35While the iron's hot.
27:36What? You put a new iron?
27:37No.
27:39These are full of microchips.
27:40Fell off the back of a lorry.
27:43I don't think Del Boy was really your style.
27:46How much do you get for a chip thing?
27:48No, I'm not going to sell them.
27:50These have already served their purpose.
27:51What, as a footrest?
27:52As a way of making home James Horridge
27:54look like a bunch of unreliable amateurs.
27:56Oh, thank God.
27:57That was me thinking you'd turned into a cyber geek.
28:00More beer?
28:01Yeah, why not?
28:03So what's Jimmy King done to you?
28:06Nothing, really.
28:07He's collateral damage.
28:09Although I did manage a sneaky peek at their books
28:11and things are looking great there.
28:14Might turn out I've done him a favour.
28:15What? Stealing his chips?
28:17No, I didn't do it. I've got a mate who works at Gorman's.
28:20He swiped this lot for a home James delivery.
28:22Now Mr Gorman's not happy with Jimmy at all.
28:24Hmm, poor Jimmy.
28:26Hmm, a rumour has it he's one strike and you're out.
28:30Poor, poor Jimmy.
28:33I'm not sure I'm happy with Jimmy at all.
28:34Poor Jimmy.
28:37Chips for tea.
28:41I mean, how's it different, really, to what I do?
28:45I sometimes have to be firm with people.
28:46Yeah, but telling Bear that you're out of scamp
28:48is either the same as extorting cash from kinky online weirdos.
28:52Not necessarily kinky.
28:54Just rich.
28:55Right, so all I need to do is just, like, insult them.
28:59Yep, be my dream job, to be fair.
29:01So you do it.
29:02Andy, I'll do most things for a bag of dry roasted and 50 quid.
29:06No, I'm not sure about the bottle.
29:07Oh, why not?
29:09Look, it's just two consenting adults
29:12engaging in a mutually beneficial activity.
29:15Without the...
29:18I'm not sure.
29:21I'll just get that table over there.
29:29Chef!
29:30Hello.
29:33Oh, rotis, aren't they right?
29:40Right then, big boy.
29:44You gonna buy me one first?
29:47Are you drunk?
29:50No, no, we're just messing.
29:54Oh, we just come from a funeral.
29:58Orange juice and a single mot.
30:01You can bring them over.
30:04Yeah.
30:06On the house.
30:07I should think so.
30:09Cheeky madam.
30:12Have another brother.
30:15How mad's that?
30:17Do you think I upset him?
30:20I have a feeling he's made of sterner stuff.
30:23Yeah, like ice.
30:25He wants nothing to do with us.
30:28I'm sorry.
30:29If Mackenzie had sorted my car out,
30:32he would have been none the wiser.
30:33Oh, no, I'm glad I know.
30:34But I need to tell Robert, too.
30:37Surely we'd be able to find him again.
30:39Or maybe he'll find me once he's had time to think.
30:44I wouldn't get your hopes up too soon.
30:48No.
30:49No, I won't.
30:50Of course I won't.
30:56You're right.
30:57You're right.
30:58It's just comfy.
30:59You always have kept me in the lap of luxury.
31:01Yeah, well, get used to it.
31:03Because once this new firm's up and running, it'll be L.O.I. life.
31:08You do have one or two teeny weeny hoops to jump through first, my love.
31:12I'll just flash me dimples.
31:14Council planning departments are a tough crowd.
31:18Have you seen my dimples?
31:20There are still members of the human race
31:22who don't go weak at the knees at the sight of your face, you know.
31:24Oh, yeah, it's funny you should say that,
31:25because the last time I checked, I couldn't find a single one.
31:31So, where does trashing home James Haulage fit in?
31:36Well, I need trucks.
31:38Loads of them.
31:39I want Jimmy on his knees and his reputation shot.
31:44You'll swagger in with an offer he can't refuse, you evil man.
31:49You'll love it.
31:56Well, can't you just keep him there a bit longer?
31:58Yes, I know, Vic, but this locksmith geezer's been messing us around all...
32:02All right, fine, I'll just drop myself in it, then, shall I?
32:08I said stay put.
32:10What, are you gonna let a man starve?
32:12Eric's on his way.
32:13Any more bright ideas?
32:14Well, he's a little bit older than you.
32:16Surely you could outrun him.
32:18Thanks.
32:20Just give me the keys.
32:21I'll take it from here.
32:22You?
32:23You got off with all my stuff.
32:26Keys, hoodie and wallet.
32:29You think you're smart, do you?
32:34Right where you left them.
32:37Sorry.
32:39This is...
32:40He's the guy?
32:41Yes.
32:42Well done.
32:43Just shut up, will you?
32:46Well, I may as well go and cancel that locksmith thing, wouldn't I?
32:48I would have thought you'd be the one to do it.
32:49Cancel that locksmith thing, wouldn't I?
32:51I would have thought so, yeah.
32:54Eager beaver.
32:55Yet again.
33:15Look, I know there's a queue, but just give us the park, I'll try another garage.
33:18Yeah, I'm sorry, mate, I don't have time right now.
33:20I can... I can ring around if that helps.
33:24Now what's missing?
33:26Apart from the condom.
33:30Take it you work here as well?
33:31No.
33:32I won't be getting involved in your van again, pal.
33:35No way!
33:36Tell me that this isn't fate.
33:39Or a knackered van.
33:41All right.
33:42Again.
33:44This is where I live.
33:46Nice.
33:47Close-knit.
33:48Van overheated.
33:49Nearest garage.
33:50How's my car?
33:52Oh, yeah, she's...
33:54She's purring like a kitten in a wheel shop.
33:56I was beginning to think you'd written it off.
33:59No, no, no, no.
34:00This baby's gonna run and run and run.
34:02Isn't that right, Aaron?
34:03Yeah, yeah.
34:04Aaron, this is John Sugden.
34:08My brother.
34:09Half.
34:10Sorry, yes, half-brother.
34:12Robert's half-brother too, obviously.
34:14Oh, goody.
34:15Well, Aaron, you used to be married to Robert.
34:18Small world.
34:21Yeah, yeah, it is.
34:23I've gotta get this stuff on.
34:27Hey, listen, why don't you check out the cafe
34:29and I can see if I can get that part for you?
34:32Or...
34:33Or you could wait at mine.
34:39Hiya.
34:40You all right?
34:42I've got a blister underneath my big toe
34:43that sounds like a 50 pence piece.
34:45Sweet dog.
34:47Gonna pop it for me later.
34:48I get all the best jobs, don't I?
34:50Do you not like bees?
34:51I don't quite like them.
34:52But I can kind of appreciate an instep.
34:55Would you pay 200 quid for a photo of one?
34:57It'd be ridiculous.
34:59You should come to Salon later for a pavé pavé.
35:02Yeah, but you're too busy.
35:05Yeah, we were absolutely run today.
35:10Very clever, you.
35:12Building that business up even though Bernice had gone.
35:15Can't have been easy.
35:17Best things never are.
35:20Speaking of which, honeymoon.
35:22I want to book loads of things for Venice.
35:23I want to book, like, a boozy gondola ride,
35:25jet skis, oysters.
35:27You know what that posh square, what's it called?
35:29San Marco or something or other.
35:30But we don't need to go crackers, do we?
35:34The best thing about memories is making them.
35:36I read that on the tea towel.
35:38Well, it's honeymoon.
35:39It's other things, you know.
35:41Less pricey activities.
35:43She's gay.
35:45I still want to get hammered on a gondola.
35:48That'll be Rhona.
35:52Hiya.
35:54Yeah, it's all right.
35:55I think it's them wellies.
35:58No, I stood up at Dunstables for hours.
36:02Yeah, well, I'm worried that the lambs might have pasturella.
36:07Yeah, I could do with a second opinion of you tomorrow,
36:09if that's all right.
36:10Yeah, yeah.
36:14Oh.
36:16It's open.
36:17Just come in, you div.
36:20How did you know it was me?
36:22Because every time you do that jolly knocking,
36:25it does my head in.
36:26Well, you ignored the buzzer before,
36:28so it was Ruby that had to let me in.
36:30What are you doing?
36:32Oh, washing away that sweet scent of frenzied passion.
36:36You are so weird.
36:38Yeah.
36:40So that was a bit of a curveball, wasn't it?
36:43Which bit?
36:44All of it, really.
36:46But my favourite bit was when big jolly John arrived,
36:48and it turns out he's your ex's brother.
36:51Half-brother.
36:52Yeah, well, of course.
36:53That makes all the difference.
36:56Sorry, is there a reason to this visit?
37:02Are you all right?
37:06It's just one coincidence too many.
37:09Don't you ever read Women's Weekly?
37:12Because that kind of stuff happens all the time.
37:16Listen, Vic can never find out that me and him
37:19enveloped each other in a sea of lust.
37:22Yeah, no, she's not going to hear it from me.
37:26I just think he's got an agenda.
37:27Oh, come on, man.
37:28You're just being paranoid.
37:31Besides, don't forget it was him that
37:34blocked you on the humping out, wasn't it?
37:37It's just serendipity.
37:38No, it's not.
37:40It's a nightmare.
37:40Mackenzie, that's what it is.
37:51Um, I'm really sorry.
37:53I've completely run out of milk, but I do have oat.
37:58Oat?
37:58Yeah, oat milk.
38:00You know, made with oats.
38:02And you can't tell the difference in a coffee.
38:03I'll pass, tar.
38:05I can nip to the shop.
38:06Honestly, I'm not bothered.
38:09Sit down.
38:10Make yourself at home.
38:14Might give the garage another ring.
38:16For goodness sake, I'm not going to tie you up
38:18and keep you under the stairs.
38:22Well, that wasn't worryingly specific.
38:26Fine, you didn't ever want to see me again,
38:29but you're here now, so let's chat,
38:32like we did on the bench.
38:40Um...
38:45You've got kids?
38:46No, I just collect toys.
38:49Yes, um, Harry.
38:51He's four, and he starts school in a few weeks.
38:55Dad on the scene?
38:57We don't mention him.
38:58Right.
39:00Uh, what about you?
39:02Any significant other?
39:04No, just me and the van.
39:07So just you, then.
39:09Um, well, look, you're welcome to stay here
39:12if Mackenzie can't get that part in time.
39:13It's hard, but I can bed down in the back.
39:17Look, John, you're hardly dressed to doss down
39:19on a garage ball court,
39:21so just sleep here, get showered,
39:23and you can be on the road by tomorrow.
39:25You never have to see me again.
39:30Fine.
39:32Where you going?
39:35To check on my van.
39:40All right?
39:40Fine.
39:41I'll get mine.
39:45You been talking to your mother?
39:47I just, I wish you two would sort it out.
39:49I am sick of being stuck in the middle.
39:51And I'm sick of being in the wrong.
39:53Yeah, well, look, we both know what she can be like,
39:55but just cut her some slack, yeah?
39:57She's struggling with stuff in the minute.
40:00Try living with her.
40:05I'm sorry, I've got to go.
40:06I've got to go.
40:07Bye.
40:11Ta.
40:17Well, Samson's face lit up when I told him
40:19I'd left some photos on desk of Arresty.
40:24He's so used to always having his phone.
40:27He hates feeling cut off.
40:30How do you see him?
40:31Oh, he'll be trying to crack jokes.
40:35Called me a fat egg.
40:38I could tell it were all a big front.
40:43He'll be finding his way through it, that's all.
40:45You will, too.
40:48You don't think I'm going to cope?
40:50I do.
40:53Someone's mithering you.
40:57I'd best go.
40:58What, and leave your crisps?
41:01What's up?
41:07It's Moira.
41:10Yes, Matty.
41:13Yes, I've eaten some food and I'm all rested
41:18and I feel like a new woman.
41:21Yeah.
41:22Got a message from Amy to tell you
41:24that she's taking the boys to the Hyde for their tea.
41:27Yeah.
41:28Oh, and tell her that she's a gem from me.
41:32Okay.
41:34All right, right, I'll see you tomorrow.
41:36Now, don't worry about me, I'm fine.
41:38Okay, love you.
41:40Bye.
41:49Ah, that's nice.
42:03Well, finally.
42:06This place is like a ghost ship.
42:10Mackenzie must be out on a call.
42:12We should have five.
42:13I think he's the bloke who said he messaged me about getting a part.
42:16He said someone had called.
42:18Yeah, you're looking at a few days minimum.
42:21Days?
42:22Great.
42:24Well, it won't be cheap either.
42:25Have you thought about trading that thing in?
42:27No.
42:29No doubt I ever will.
42:30Don't want to get attached to a heap of tin, do you?
42:34Anyone who think you lot don't need the business.
42:36It's your call.
42:38I need to lock up.
42:40So, someone's going to ring me?
42:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:53Oi.
42:55You coming back for more?
42:57You're a Sugden.
42:58You're not telling me this happened by chance?
43:01Okay, I won't tell you.
43:02But it did.
43:04You did me over.
43:06You robbed me of stuff and then here you are again.
43:09Very observant.
43:10Yeah, I am.
43:12I've been watching you.
43:15You can watch all you like.
43:18I know you like what you see.
43:20But don't you ever start on me again.
43:26Because who knows where it might end.
43:36If you're looking for a new comedy to binge this summer, you won't go far wrong with The Hilarious Slip, starring the brilliant Zoe Lister-Jones.
43:44All episodes are available to stream right now on ITVX.
43:47We're back on the road with Tom Kerridge next to Nighty on ITV1 as he continues to cut Britain.