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Video Information: 11.03.23, Greater Noida
Context:
~ Why do emotions take over?
~ Why are women more emotional?
~ How to deal with emotions?
~ Emotions vs Rationality
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
~~~~~
Video Information: 11.03.23, Greater Noida
Context:
~ Why do emotions take over?
~ Why are women more emotional?
~ How to deal with emotions?
~ Emotions vs Rationality
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Pranam, Acharyaji. Sir, my question is related to attachment. Sir, like I find myself sometime
00:12dwelling on to dearment or attachment towards people, like important people in my life and
00:19then there's a constant war inside me with my emotion and logic. So my logic says that
00:26no, this is not the way it should function. And then I sometimes even if I'm watching a video,
00:35your video, if I'm reading, I am not able to focus and I'm not able to, you know, grasp what
00:40it is trying to say. So how to come out of this zone? I mean, sometimes it happens quite frequently
00:48and then I just remind myself that no, no, I don't have to do like that. But then it doesn't
00:54help sometimes. Let's say there is a kid in the family, right? And the kid the entire year is
01:05showing up with a report card from the school.
01:11And the report card continuously says A, A+, A, A+. Every two months there is an assessment and
01:19the kid comes up and shows the card and the card looks just glorious.
01:28And so you have a certain attitude towards the kid, right?
01:32You give importance to that kid then, correct? Right. And then
01:40when the final exams are over, you in your exuberance and anticipation that the result
01:57will again be great, you decide not to wait for the report card. You decide to go to the school
02:04yourself and meet the class teacher and get the report card personally. And you go to the school
02:13and you meet the class teacher and you say, well, let's name the kid. Let's name the kid something.
02:26The kid's name is, why don't I get random names? All randomness has gone,
02:36you know, Gita is in front of you. Name the kid. Mukhiya. So the kid is,
02:44that's a strange name for a kid. Give me a tolerable name. Champak.
02:52So, you go to the class teacher and you say, I am Champak's didi.
03:03And I have come to personally collect the card.
03:08And the class teacher says, are you sure you are his didi, the elder sister?
03:16Because till this day he was displaying somebody else as his didi.
03:24Because we used to ask him every month to bring his parents and elders to us.
03:33And every month he would bring people to us, the entire family and the entire family would
03:37consist of a lady he would introduce to us as his didi. And that's not you. Who are you?
03:42And somehow you convince them that you are in fact the certified didi.
03:50And he hands over the card to you.
03:54And the card somehow is all in red ink from the first place till the last.
04:02C minus D, D minus L, Z minus.
04:10You collect the card and you go back. And the kid, Champak, is sitting there all puffed up because
04:20he is the apple of the family's eye. Everybody gives great importance to whatever he sees.
04:30Because he is not just the class topper, he is the school topper, he is the galaxy topper. He is
04:35everything that a kid can be. You give him great importance. If he says, I want a new geometry box,
04:43you get him five boxes, imported boxes. He says, I want a pair of socks. You get him five pair of
04:56shoes. That's the kind of importance you give to Champak. And now you go back with that
05:04red thing in your hands. What is the importance that you now give to Champak?
05:14Very less importance.
05:16Now there was a wise woman in the neighborhood who was cautioning you since an entire year.
05:23Who was cautioning you since an entire year, you know what I mean? This Champak fellow is no good.
05:29You drill some sense into him. All the time he is chasing all the kids around,
05:34especially girls, and still your family just patronizes him all the time.
05:41And were you listening to the aunt from the neighborhood? No, right? Even if the lady
05:49would give logic, your emotions would quarrel with her logic, correct? Even if she would present
05:54some proof, still your emotions for Champak will not accept the proof, correct? Because you were
06:02according a certain importance to Champak based on your assessment of his reality.
06:14And your assessment was based on the proof he was furnishing you.
06:20And he very well knew that your assessment of who Champak is depends on the proof that
06:24he himself furnishes you. So, is the problem about the clash between emotion and logic
06:35or is the problem about the very fundamentals of assessment of importance?
06:43Fundamentals.
06:44We do not know who to accord importance to, correct? And importance is being accorded
06:51totally on forged documents. The moment you know his reality, the importance is gone.
06:58And the inner clash, should I be attached to this person, should I not be attached to this person,
07:04all that inner conflict is resolved immediately, right? So, the real problem is not attachment.
07:10The real problem is accordance of importance.
07:18If you can know what is infinitely important, I say please be attached to that.
07:25Attachment is not a problem. The problem is being attached to something totally unworthy.
07:32And worth is something that has to be assessed through facts.
07:36Because you went to the class teacher, therefore, the worth was revealed to you.
07:42And facts will never be revealed if you live in belief.
07:47If you continue to believe Champak, you will never know facts. That's the problem with belief.
07:54Don't believe, check out the facts. If you are attached to someone, check out the facts
08:02of their importance. Do they really deserve that kind of importance? Check out the facts,
08:08go to their school, talk to their class teacher. You know what I mean, right? I am dealing in
08:12symbols. Do they really deserve the position you are giving him? Just think of how you used
08:20to think of Champak. And now that you have seen his report, how do you now look at him now?
08:29Has not the entire face changed? Earlier, if no sound was coming from Champak's room,
08:41what would you imagine? That he is studying. Now,
08:50upon the same occurrence, you would immediately know that the fellow is up to some mischief.
08:55So, even your experience depends on your assumption. Earlier, when no sound used to come
09:04from Champak's room, your experience used to be great. Oh my God, such a great kid brother I have,
09:10he is studying even at midnight. That's why there is no sound and he has bolted the door from
09:17inside. Now, having seen his report card, you know he is cooking something fishy inside.
09:27And that's why the room is locked from inside. Now, you will rather call the fire brigade and
09:33break open. You know, having known now what kind of a disease you are, I just cannot trust you.
09:44That's what, we don't know the facts, we live in fancies.
09:50In relationship, that's a major problem. Once you are related to someone, you totally lose sight of
09:56their reality. And losing sight reminds me of Dhritarashtra. What to do? His blindness is not
10:11just symbolic. Being attached to Duryodhana, he totally lost sight of the facts of Duryodhana,
10:18totally just lost it. It doesn't matter whether you are attached to a son, a daughter, father,
10:28mother, friend or a husband or a wife or a lover, doesn't matter or a dog, doesn't matter.
10:36No, it's just coincidental that I placed lover very proximate to the dog. I don't mean anything.
10:47I mean, people will unnecessarily accuse me of verbal insinuation.
10:54Things can happen randomly, can't they? So, just excuse me. We totally lose sight of
11:06the kind of person the chap is.
11:11What exists is the relationship, the person disappears from the inner radar.
11:20We just never evaluate what kind of persons are we related to.
11:27We simply say, oh, but he is my father. Hello, that's okay, that's okay, we acknowledge that.
11:34But can we evaluate the person he is objectively? Have you tried to look at his business
11:42transactions? Have you tried to talk to his colleagues? Have you tried to assess who he really
11:49is? Or the mother or the wife or anybody? Attachment is not a problem.
11:57Attachment involves one thing at least that is quite great, which is proximity.
12:06If you are attached to, let's say, the author of the Gita, what can be more auspicious than that?
12:16What can be more auspicious than that? You get attached to him, he will dissolve the attachment.
12:21He will dissolve the attachment. That's okay. You are getting attached just to the right person.
12:28You get attached, he dissolves the attachment. Cool. But we get attached specifically to people
12:36who will only strengthen the attachment. And that's one of the very important proofs of the
12:44person being unworthy. It's worth that is important. Assess the importance.
12:54Assess the importance. And if you have been wise enough, discrete enough, or simply lucky enough
13:01to have the right person in your life, then continue to remain attached.
13:07But assess them and assess them well, objectively, with truth at your core.
13:15You don't want to fight with the class teacher, right? You don't want to tell them,
13:18you have been lying. Champak has been a topper throughout. The class teacher is a class teacher.
13:25If the class teacher says that Champak is the outstanding rascal of the class,
13:31then you better trust the class teacher rather than Champak.
13:41Outstanding because he is always standing out.
13:52Getting it? Yes.
13:56Yes.
14:00People often complain, that fellow changed
14:10after four years of relationship. No, he didn't change.
14:18He or she just revealed himself.
14:20He didn't even reveal himself. Your eyes opened a little after four years.
14:31The urge to be in a relationship often is so strong
14:37that we refuse to look at the reality.
14:41Something within us knows very well that if you come upon the fact,
14:48then the relationship will become impossible. So, you want to keep the fact at bay.
14:54Keep the fact aside if the relationship is to continue.
14:59I often ask people, don't you know very well of the issues that you must not raise in your
15:04relationship? Don't you know very well of the issues that you must not raise in your relationship?
15:10Don't you know very well of the questions you must not ask your partner?
15:16If you know of these things, then you very well know that your relationship is founded
15:20on something very weak.
15:26We all very well know of the questions that would immediately spoil the relationship.
15:32We all very well know of the issues we must never discuss with our family or spouse or somebody.
15:41You raise those issues and magically that is called relationship management in today's time.
15:49They say if you want to manage your relationship,
15:51first of all, you must know the things you should not discuss.
15:54First of all, you must know the things you should not discuss.
16:00Influencers you see, Instagram.
16:05They say that the best relationship managers are the ones who know what not to talk of.
16:13So, don't talk of these things and the relationship will keep fine.
16:24So, assess the importance.
16:29Assess the importance.
16:31Ask if the truth is important.
16:35Does this person bring truth to my life?
16:37How is he important?
16:42That's what the Gita teaches you.
16:43That's what self-knowledge is about.
16:46Truth is important, correct?
16:48Getting rid of bondages is important.
16:50Liberation is important.
16:51Is this person bringing liberation to me?
16:55Is he bringing light to me?
16:58Is he bringing fearlessness to me?
17:01He, she, whatever.
17:05Because these are the things that are important.
17:08So, if this fellow is the harbinger for these things,
17:12then and then only is he important.
17:15Otherwise, how is he important?
17:21Flesh is not important.
17:23You know, you know, you know the destiny of flesh.
17:29I'm not talking of the ash it turns into.
17:34There are apps on Play Store.
17:38You feed your current photo and they'll display how you look,
17:43probably look 40 years down the line.
17:48That's the worth of flesh.
17:49So, if somebody is bringing only flesh to your life,
17:52he's simply like a mutton seller.
17:56Even the mutton seller can provide you with some flesh.
18:02Is this fellow bringing consciousness into your life?
18:05That is what will decide his or her importance.
18:11So, do not just say if somebody is important, I get attached.
18:14My question will be, how did that fellow, first of all,
18:18did that fellow, first of all, manage to become important?
18:22Important, how?
18:28How?
18:29Randomly?
18:36Anything becomes important?
18:45Thank you, sir.