S13 E9 Prunella Gee, Nanette Newman, Derek Jacobi, Michael Culver.
S13 E10 Prunella Gee, Nanette Newman, Derek Jacobi, Michael Culver.
S13 E11 Joanna Lumley, Rula Lenska, Miles Kington, Ian Wooldridge.
S13 E12 Joanna Lumley, Rula Lenska, Miles Kington, Ian Wooldridge.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
S13 E10 Prunella Gee, Nanette Newman, Derek Jacobi, Michael Culver.
S13 E11 Joanna Lumley, Rula Lenska, Miles Kington, Ian Wooldridge.
S13 E12 Joanna Lumley, Rula Lenska, Miles Kington, Ian Wooldridge.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00:00and lice and that is what it is used for okay now your turn well Rouen was a rather finely woven
00:00:11type of linen cloth that was used for making um or very rich draperies rather beautiful draperies
00:00:18or rather grand types of flags or pennants and the word itself is an anglicized version
00:00:26of the French town of Rouen which is where this rather beautiful cloth was originally
00:00:32woven and that's how it derived its name oh right enough then it's a it's a sort of tar
00:00:39that you can use it's a box of herrings or it's a no a box for herring and it's this sort of
00:00:45linen cloth Frank yours choice we have a having a little discussion here yeah there's a slight
00:00:53divergence about what so just totaled what about the program i'm terribly upset because i haven't
00:01:01got any veins in the back of my hand to start with which is worrying yeah and herring boxes
00:01:08where you'd sing ronies with autopsies sandals were for clementine you might it doesn't sound
00:01:16right does it no it doesn't you don't in this program lad you don't put things on sheep's backs
00:01:25this program specializes in diseases of sheep not in rubbing things into sheep so that's all
00:01:32so we think no we in the monarchial way i alone think that it's um nannette's rubbish
00:01:43she said she said that it was linen cloth it's the clog about the um yes that stuff
00:01:47it came from the wall she said two or bluff
00:01:52no no
00:01:58nothing now nothing there we have to know the true definition now who's got it here it comes
00:02:04it's there i know it's there
00:02:13really don't accept it that's what that's exactly what it is the tar that for once you rub into the
00:02:19sheep and but not in norfolk frank not in norfolk i still say it's cheating i it's not love things
00:02:25into sheep on this program it is not i quite agree with you true to the spirit of the game
00:02:30two nil however rickers the next word and uh derek jacoby a ricker is a spa not the sort
00:02:38of spa you swim in or take the waters off the spa in the sense of a pole of wood cut from a young
00:02:45or immature tree and um it's particularly a spa or a pole applied to uh nautical uses
00:02:56for instance the shaft of a harpoon would be a ricker or the pole of a boat hook would be a
00:03:03or a mizzen mast would be a ricker but it has to be cut from a young immature tree
00:03:08ah right enough then prunella your turn ricka is a type of canadian skate used by some canadians
00:03:15for skating across some canadian frozen up lakes and the um distinguishing feature of this um skate
00:03:22is that it has a the front of it turns up like a growing banana and this has the effect of making
00:03:27the skater go faster than on a flat scale well it would it would of course it would
00:03:34now we hear from frank here ricker is an oslo's word any oslo would use the word
00:03:42vicar you'd see the oslo you see the chap on a cart he'd be saying whoa whoa come back here
00:03:49go back salvatella come
00:03:56he'd be hauling on the ropes until the salvatellas were standing out and the horses behind in front
00:04:04of him because a ricker is a very headstrong near unmanageable horse there you are almost
00:04:16there well done frank it's um it's um a kind of a skate it's a sort of a pole and it's a
00:04:23kind of a headstrong horse michael culver's choice yes i don't blame us if you're wrong
00:04:29i know i'm out of my own it'll be my advice to you about the company forever well starting with the
00:04:34spar and derrick i can't i can't see any point in making anything to do with a boat out of
00:04:42immature wood because it did warp and bend i'm being very scientific now and i'm going to rule
00:04:47that right out i can't believe that and it's too like rigor and i think there are meant to be kind
00:04:52of euphonious sounds like that the skate tempts me quite a lot but so does the horse
00:05:04you're looking at skate i don't know i think it was the banana that put me off the skate i'm
00:05:09going to i'm going to go for the for the for the horse salvo tell us and all ah well now frank
00:05:15you're made a very amusing definition of that was it true though frank or was it a bluff
00:05:21let me reveal it
00:05:33all that acting did not go for naught it wasn't that who gave the true definition
00:05:38got it there somewhere
00:05:46it was a nautical pole i should have thought patrick
00:05:49late admiral of the irish navy would have got that all right you don't use new wood
00:05:56you do from now on you know you do honestly you do because that's what it means
00:06:01let's have another look back
00:06:04pantene or pantyne is the next one michael culver to define it a pantyne is a form well it's a
00:06:11mythical stone really in in the old days it was it was stones that had a the property of attracting
00:06:18gold rather like a magnet attracts iron the ancients thought that a pantyne would attract
00:06:23gold and i say they're mythical because in fact none were ever found there is no record of the
00:06:29pantyne anywhere but uh if there was such a thing it was meant to attract gold that is a pantyne okay
00:06:36well he says that now nanette now if you were a child in the 18th century i was you were
00:06:45then you'll know this quite well frank you may well rush to the nursery and rush to your toy
00:06:50cupboard or toy box and take out a pantene because it was a very fashionable toy of that time it was
00:06:57a pasteboard puppet in a way it was joined together at all the joints the head and the arms
00:07:01and the legs and pulled by strings and uh it was really a most desirable toy that gave people a
00:07:09great deal of amusement and and fun right now it's patrick's go pantyne derives from the latin word
00:07:18pantinus which means just a thing for keeping bread in so that pantyne can be used as an adjective
00:07:26he's going to amaze you if you've got a bread bin in your house with bread in it or outside it
00:07:35you're all right you can still refer to it as a pantyne i beg your pardon as a pantyne container
00:07:44which that is what it is pop it on it in it
00:07:50pardon the pantyne container would be something which contained a pantyne but notes of bread
00:07:58well any road up
00:08:01well it's a it is um a bread holder i think he was telling us with a hand fabulous stone
00:08:08and a puppet uh derek your turn to choose oh well it could be any of them i don't
00:08:15i didn't believe michael at all i don't think he believed himself when he was
00:08:20um so i think i'll forget michael for the moment no no reflection on you michael um
00:08:28if you now net i i think of pantaloon that makes me think of puppets toys yes i like the sound of
00:08:36that the bread bin you can forget i know not at all i don't think so so you did it beautifully
00:08:44absolutely beautifully sir but yes um but i'm going to go for nanette and the puppet
00:08:52nanette who did say that it was a puppet 18th century puppet
00:09:06pantyne or pantyne is an 18th century puppet
00:09:10have another word salufa is the next one and prunella your turn well the position of the
00:09:16salufa on the manorial dining room table would tell you who was the gentry and who were his
00:09:24serfs violets retainers etc because it was a receptacle holding the salt and the lord of the
00:09:31manor would sit above the salufa and his lot would all sit above the salufa and the serfs and the
00:09:38retainers and all the others would sit as we know it below the salt well that's strange things have
00:09:47happened frank had you been born in victorian times you would be very familiar with salifa
00:09:55um because they used a lot of it oh he used a lot lots and lots and lots of it
00:10:03it was um a sort of pungent um disinfectant and for instance they'd make a solution of it
00:10:12and syringe children when they had earache and um buckets and buckets and buckets paddy
00:10:21were poured into stagnant reaches of the manchester ship canal anything which was needed
00:10:29very sort of cleansing and made more salubrious
00:10:34selfish stuff can't get it now because all gone all gone all gone
00:10:41is that all no let's put it this way it's enough
00:10:48salufa is a lovely word um it's an american word and it is a greeting in writing to the reader of
00:10:58a first edition of an american newspaper or magazine now you remember the very famous american
00:11:05magazine called schreibner's magazine when this was first published in 1874 it contained in this
00:11:12very first copy a salufa of 2 000 words written by a man called samuel l clemens who later became
00:11:19very famous as mark twain it's a written greeting okay well it's a victorian kind of disinfectant
00:11:28that there was a lot of and it's a sort of greeting from the publisher of a newspaper
00:11:33on the first day and it's a salt cellar or it was nanette well frank all those people
00:11:42all those addicts in the victorian times that were addicted to the salufa if it was that good
00:11:48i mean i can't believe that it wouldn't have somehow managed to continue and and be in use
00:11:54today you're good thinking could it i don't know um now i've heard of the sitting below the salt
00:12:03that seems to me to be quite feasible it could be sitting below the salufa i've only heard of it
00:12:07as sitting below the salt not the salufa but that doesn't mean anything and i can't tell you
00:12:12dick um doing very well at the moment that uh greeting in the magazine
00:12:17i'm not too sure i i i really mean my name is derek i'm going to say that it's you i think
00:12:26it's the the greeting in in the he said it was the greeting didn't he on the first day
00:12:31of the issue of the thing true or bluff oh the agony
00:12:37oh
00:12:45what really is salufa we cannot survive until we know here it comes you can rub it on the back of
00:13:01i've almost forgotten what he said it was but it's stuck it's kind of a disinfectant
00:13:05did you good pour it all over everything um three two and we have mistake uh nanette newman
00:13:12well now if you happen to have the queen for dinner and you had pink junket on the menu as
00:13:20you know well you might you would do well to color it with mistake because you see i've i've
00:13:27done quite a few cookery books and things and i happen to know that mistake is a version of
00:13:33cochineal and it is derived from um the cochineal insects of really uh the noblest
00:13:43and truest blood and it's a very superior kind of cochineal well i wonder if the queen had come
00:13:52twice patrick your holiday mistake mistake so it's a rather arty crafty kind of adjective
00:14:02purloin from the britain french of the channel islands it means dainty or delegate now was it
00:14:10not ruskin writing about the works of butchelli who said just a moment i'll just put up my notes
00:14:20here briefly the cherubim are well defined their baby faces and their mistake gestures are quite
00:14:32delightful he could do better than that though couldn't he michael culver mastek is a haitian
00:14:45half-caste in the sense he's a native of haiti in the caribbean who has a french
00:14:54parent of one sex and a haitian parent of the other or vice versa jean jacques desalines who
00:15:00was the the ex-slave who became the emperor and king of haiti was in fact a mestec and i seem to
00:15:06remember he was also a very tall man he was over seven foot tall that that sorry that has absolutely
00:15:11nothing to do with it but uh it's a half-caste it's like a mistake but it sort of means dainty
00:15:17kind of adjective it's very superior sort of cochineal and it's a native of haiti who's i
00:15:23think one parent's french and one is haitian i think yes prunella your choice um now the one
00:15:30i don't think it is most definitely is dainty or delicate despite all the beautiful quotations um
00:15:36it doesn't sound like a dainty delicate word to me somehow so i think i'll count that one out
00:15:42so it's between the queen's blancmange and the half-caste and they both sound equally likely um
00:15:54oh dear i think i'll go for the the uh color for the blancmange the color for the blancmange for
00:16:03the queen of which nanette spoke drawblock
00:16:16people go away with the idea that the queen eats nothing else i've never been near the stuff
00:16:22but it does mean their color coloring material skulls is the next one frank muir
00:16:27it's a skulls um it's not a lot of skulls it's a singular noun a skulls is um is where
00:16:37is into which sailors do not lower an anchor it because it's an area which which nautical
00:16:46people refer to as a poor holding ground it's a part of the seabed which is so hard that the
00:16:55the flukes of an anchor can't get a purchase and so skid along and the ship floats away
00:17:02it's a skulls is a bit of flatbed where you don't anchor silly isn't it right
00:17:10now let's um let's try derek jacoby well frank is absolutely right when he says it is a skulls
00:17:17and if you ever have the good fortune to find yourselves in the forest of dean
00:17:22and you look very carefully um you may come across the disused and ramshackle workings
00:17:28of an old coal mine now it'll be very useful for you to know that the untidy looking hole
00:17:34that's gaping at you in your pathway is known to the foresters of dean as a skulls
00:17:42right well actually it's the skulls and uh here we go folks it's a disease of poultry
00:17:49it's uh it could be happened to chickens ducks turkeys um it's a form of of eczema which causes
00:17:56the bird whichever one it happens to attack uh to be so busy scratching itching pecking
00:18:02whatever else that it completely forgets to lay any eggs okay so it's a hard seabed where you
00:18:10can't get the anchor in and it's an old the remains of an old coal mine in the forest of dean
00:18:14and another favorite of the program it's the disease of poultry patrick's choice
00:18:22i know that hens get down behind which is a well-known hen's disease it looks very sore
00:18:29down behind what and it plays old harry with the hen laying eggs but hens with eczema it's
00:18:35too nauseating but even if it's right i wouldn't like it
00:18:41i've never heard of it
00:18:43derek blithering about untidy holes in the forest of dean
00:18:50what's a tidy hole as opposed to an untidy
00:18:55and it's absolute nonsense furthermore to say that an unanchoring a bit at the bottom of the sea is
00:19:02called a skulls because pathetic you can drop a hook anywhere yes into rock i think i'll just go
00:19:10on like this some inspiration it comes very shortly within the next quarter of an hour
00:19:15probably so i'd rather think then it's well they think it's uh a difficult anchoring spot
00:19:22the difficult anchoring spot well the answer spoke there he was choosing the one that frank
00:19:26said it was uh now frank will tell him whether it was true or bluff will a few fail to lose a few
00:19:40i must say i thought that all the seabed was soft you get an anchor in anywhere but
00:19:44who gave the true definition oh not again yes
00:19:53an old untidy coal mine the forest of dean or one that once was where it is our last word
00:20:01and patrick has nice time to define it as you might imagine this is a word used by
00:20:08well you could possibly call them peasants or yokels us just a moment please i'm rather busy
00:20:19a yokel or a peasant talking to another yokel or peasant might well be trying to wear at him
00:20:27i.e to irritate him but drive mad with rage to the element
00:20:33the recipient of the where it is going to pick up a spade and let lash
00:20:39it just means to irritate now you might suppose that i'm trying to wear it you lot
00:20:43but i'm not because that's what it is right now uh michael fairly speedily if you will
00:20:52where it is a blacksmith's cudgel and it's a flat-sided piece of wood which tapers to one
00:20:58end and he just uses it to whack in spokes into wheels good enough good enough
00:21:03if you could imagine that i'm a leicestershire man in a terrible state of indecision not knowing
00:21:09which way to turn this way or that always on the edge of a dilemma you would say he's in a right
00:21:15where it and you would be quite right because it's the description of a leicestershire man in a state
00:21:20of indecision a right where it so it's to worry or annoy or irritate it's a blacksmith's cudgel
00:21:28for hitting things with and it's indecision in leicestershire frank we have no indecision
00:21:35this side of the house the vibes are coming the vibes are coming and it is quite clearly
00:21:40which it's um we don't think it's the uh the the peasant irritating peasants don't need to
00:21:50irritate each other they irritate themselves because they need some little speed frank turn
00:21:56of speed well it's patrick clearly it must be no no it isn't is it oh yes patrick patrick's
00:22:04about the irritating and say for patrick true on black patrick are you sure it's me
00:22:10you really mean it do you they're quite right
00:22:17one
00:22:29but anyway six two frank and his team have won
00:22:39we'll be saying we'll be playing birkin here for more words from the oed next week until then
00:22:46goodbye from derek jacoby
00:23:02and goodbye
00:23:16so
00:23:36hello this is call my bluff where you can see for miles from the top of patrick campbell
00:23:46my first guest has just won the national award for
00:23:52international velvet or national interval but anyway she's nannette newman
00:24:04and my other guest has come very fresh indeed from the secret camp michael culver
00:24:16and the cavalier of song frank muir
00:24:24naturally i brought my winning team back for this show again and on my right i have prunella g
00:24:37and on my left derek jacoby
00:24:40three
00:24:45another word from that inexhaustible storm willaloo is the word or perhaps they'll pronounce
00:24:51it hillaloo who knows patrick and his team will define willaloo three different ways to a bluff
00:24:56one is true and that's the one that frank and co try and pick out so what of this word willaloo
00:25:02patrick a willaloo is a kind of lacrimose variety of a hullabaloo
00:25:13a hullabaloo is the kind of noise it kind of comes off a cocktail party which sound like a
00:25:18riot about to break out somebody has said that it's not really good anyway but however a willaloo
00:25:24is a mob of people crying woe is me willaloo woe is me willaloo willaloo
00:25:38was rather glum wasn't it let's see what we can do now with michael culver well you have
00:25:43to watch out for willaloo's because willaloo's are in fact a partly poisonous species of north
00:25:49american catfish they're only partly poisonous because it's only the liver that is poisonous
00:25:54but if you eat the liver you can get temporary paralysis of the neck and you can't
00:25:59or swallow that's a willaloo right i wonder what conditions you would eat the liver of a
00:26:06such a fish however be that as it may then it's human well a willaloo is a quite horrific
00:26:14swirling sandstorm in the outbacks of australia in fact on may the fourth in 1909 the melbourne
00:26:23argus reported in barrow creek that there had been a willaloo and i'll tell you what they said
00:26:31they said it's absolutely devastated squashed and squandered by a violent willaloo and that
00:26:39indeed was what happened that's the way they write in those latitudes sort of sandstorm
00:26:48kind of loud weeping and wailing and this semi-poisonous sort of catfish and frank has
00:26:54to choose between them you oh on um yes team um livers of catfish um my colleagues and i are very
00:27:07worried about who would eat the liver of catfish and the whole thing sounds so awful that we don't
00:27:12really want it to be that so we're going to ignore it was even mentioned um now paddy's uh
00:27:22i can't read my writing oh yes um you're probably not in this year of the whale we should consider
00:27:30that deeply um whirling sandstorm in australia willaloo sounds good because it sounds so
00:27:37australian sounds like woolamaloo doesn't it near sydney and so therefore we'll ignore that
00:27:44and we'll go to patrick jacuzzi
00:27:53he said that it meant a loud weeping and wailing some not quite a cocktail party
00:27:58love you don't have to shout as well
00:28:13nodulous is the next word and frank uh defines it nodulous
00:28:20um think of a tea bag
00:28:25perforations bit of string or ribbon on the top but not filled with tea filled with aromatic herbs
00:28:34now i am not in a position to tell you which herbs they are because i don't know
00:28:40but the herbs are steeped in the tankard of ale or the stoop of wine so the drinker's
00:28:49indigestion is relieved while he is drinking nodulous absolute nonsense why you never know
00:28:59you never know it's derek jacoby's turn now this is a very simple word because it's so
00:29:07it gives itself away immediately nodulous it's the name that you give to a person
00:29:14the sort of person that you meet every day of your life and it's a very pompous pretentious
00:29:21word but if i were to say to you malvolio lord foppington frank spencer and some others do
00:29:30what have they all got in common they are all nodule i because you know nodulous is the rather
00:29:39pompous pretentious way of calling somebody a fool a nincompoop a blockhead a twit it's going
00:29:46a bit far isn't it frunella g when something vibrates or twists back and forth such as the
00:29:57clapper of an electric bell or the hairspring of a watch there is actually a tiny moment when
00:30:04it is completely motionless now this moment of immobility is called by professors of physics
00:30:10the nodulous is it yes well it's a sachet of herbs you dunk in the ale wine it's a tiny tiny
00:30:20pause in physics and it's a fool or an idiot patrick to choose
00:30:28it'd be much easier just to have the usual quick wild guess rather than flog myself
00:30:36with quick while we said it uh a twit no it's not it's going too far it's a noddy
00:30:45oh lord uh just a minute uh god pause in a pendulum
00:30:53oh he's got to stop sometime or does it i don't think it ever does stop has it did it was it all
00:30:58the way well it can't be people putting tea bags in what they're going to be oh what a mess
00:31:06help team it must be a tea bag a tip well not quite a tea bag but whatever he said
00:31:17he's too happy i don't want to change my mind sure bluff is it do you think
00:31:20i'm very happy to be chosen the way things are
00:31:24uh
00:31:33little bag of unspecified herbs that you put in your beer or your wine or perhaps you used to
00:31:39one all uh valencia is the next one michael culver valencia is a metal corset the french
00:31:45invented it to try and combat the english arrows after cressy and it's made of metal links and it
00:31:53defends the torso and that is a venetian it is a form of metal corset righto and now
00:32:01nanette tells us what it is well valencia is uh literally an obsessive or compulsive hat doffer
00:32:10somebody who's always oh yes good morning how do you do nice to see you compulsively doffing
00:32:15the word derives from the old french verb uh to doff to doff the hat and really figuratively
00:32:24speaking it describes somebody who is rather unattractively servile servile yes yes yes right
00:32:34now patrick's turn valencia is probably apparatus which which is used by wine tasters
00:32:42it's a long tube either of glass or wood a wine taster about his wine tasting approaches
00:32:51a barrel of wine right with he takes out the bung he stuffs in his valencia
00:33:00sucks it up slices around his tongue and then spits it out or swallows it but he's using his
00:33:08valencia as you call it in english
00:33:15all the rest will run over his suede shoes wouldn't they that's much more his trouble than
00:33:20yours well you wanted to say no no no did you just trying to sort it out i'm just going to
00:33:26remind you that it's uh that kind of a well sort of pipette really big one put into suck up the
00:33:32wine in a barrel it's an obsequious sort of person and it's an armor corselet and uh it's
00:33:39uh derek's turn to choose first of all frank do you know enough or prove do you know enough french
00:33:47to be able to say whether valencia means to doff in french i mean i don't know what to doff means
00:33:55it's an old french verb yes which means
00:33:58no i don't think it's that no i don't think it's that and um that was an attractive um
00:34:12meaning to the word patrick they're sucking up through the tube and all that but um
00:34:17no i don't think it's that i don't know what it is so i'm going to say it's michael's
00:34:26armor well he did say that it was a sort of corselet that protected you in battle now michael
00:34:42oh no just his honest face who gave the true definition
00:34:46is what you put into a large barrel if you're a sort of uh bintner oh and you draw it out and
00:35:02you put in a glass and taste it two one m m bread i suppose it is derek jacoby no it's mbreed
00:35:10oh thank you it's an antique verb meaning to deck with blossom to adorn with flowers
00:35:20to garland with wreaths it's not used very much nowadays um but um it was in common usage in
00:35:29elizabethan england and there is one instance of it in shakespeare in a play that is um
00:35:36um not very often performed it's one of his more bloody more violent plays titus andronicus
00:35:43and i'm sure the actors among you certainly being shakespeare buffs will remember the line
00:35:51the wreaths that would our brows nobly embreed shall with untimely haste upon our graves be soon
00:36:01forecast there's a black lie of everything
00:36:08it was awfully noble though
00:36:13you were right in your pronunciation it is m bread now this pronunciation will
00:36:17make it clear i believe to one and all that it is a baker's verb meaning to convert into or to
00:36:26roll something into a roll or a loaf of bread
00:36:31because we've had an awful lot of these well you never know do you frank it's your turn now
00:36:37you all know the old lisbethan play titus and nuticus that was set in the island of syria
00:36:47the embryad is the embryad is a scholarly name for the old syrian alphabet as to hold with me
00:36:57who used written by chaps thousands and thousands of years ago 19 characters or or little
00:37:04hierothymes in it but uh from it developed two of our present letters n for nothing and p for
00:37:14persimmon partridge parsley anything beginning with a p i didn't understand
00:37:23it's a syrian alphabet syrian syrian yes syrian s-y-r-i-a-n-a-l-f
00:37:32and the p we get from them it's just the syrian alphabet he said and it's to put something into
00:37:39bread to embed it and it's to deck with something flowers weeds or anything like that
00:37:45so uh whose turn is it yes michael's your turn i i'm sorry i'm gonna need a little time here
00:37:54come on back me up gang what do you think we don't know at all
00:37:58oh no no use i mean derek you know it's it's not fair it's a deck with gardens it's very flowery
00:38:09yeah and that's flowery as well oh dear roll into bread and syrian alphabet
00:38:17that is what i said yes i can't believe syrian alphabet i really can't believe that
00:38:24the bread i know it's the most prosaic but i tend to go for the bread
00:38:27yes i mean you said the verse beautifully derrick but i really don't know i'm going
00:38:31for the bread you choose what i'm going to do nella said to embed something is to
00:38:38put it into bread true or bluff you're right
00:38:45that's what it means it must mean that i suppose as well as anything else it might also
00:38:58have meant maxi at three one and it's nanette's turn well maxi describes a certain condition
00:39:06in a cheese it is in fact when the cheese hasn't reached its full maturity
00:39:13and it then becomes maxi which is a rather nasty kind of greasy slightly sweet uh state which is
00:39:20very nasty for a cheese to be in and it's when it hasn't reached the the fermentation of the way
00:39:26hasn't developed correctly and and the condition is described as maxi yeah very good now patrick's
00:39:35turn maxi was one of the many 18th century words for gin also known as mother's ruin
00:39:43flash of lightning why can't i think but there's a theory about maxi the gin was called maxi
00:39:50because of the residents of a retired price by the called maxi palmer who was the landlord of
00:39:57a pothouse in german street of course not the present german street you see it is in german
00:40:01street and whose gin was so good so clear and pure that high quality gin became known as maxi
00:40:12could be could be possible now it's michael culver's go maxi is a cornish slang word i can't
00:40:20do corn i can't give you the cornish pronunciation i'm very sorry but it's a it's a corny slang word
00:40:24used by the tin miners and it describes
00:40:30it describes a substance that they find at the bottom of tin mines cheese
00:40:39no in fact it's a sort of metallic substance and it can be green or yellow or off white and
00:40:49and if it's if if a good jeweler gets hold of it he can make it into
00:40:52into very good imitation jewelry that is maxi right so it's a sort of metal found
00:40:58at the bottom of cornish tin mines kind of splendid gin and kind of nasty cheese
00:41:05so it's uh prunella your turn oh well until i heard those two i thought manette's was
00:41:11definitely not it
00:41:17um you what did you say
00:41:20yes yes well i come around to that
00:41:24i didn't i didn't think cheese went through a sweet stage before it reached reached fruit
00:41:29fruition but maybe it does no i certainly don't think it's the metal maxi no no um
00:41:37and it could be the gin but i think uh yes i will go for the cheese i will go for the
00:41:44cheese the cheese the nasty cheese that nannette spoke of true or bluff nannette
00:41:58hard cheese did i hear you say frank yes no i didn't
00:42:02you didn't my subconscious again who gave the true definition
00:42:06it's even harder than you think the cheese because there it is
00:42:16it's the metal at the bottom of a cornish tin mine is maxi for one and we have cincanta
00:42:23prunella g will define it oh um cincanta it was a medieval cure for insomnia
00:42:31it was a sleeping draft that contained a few seeds of scarlet flax which is a distant
00:42:38relative of the poppy which um as we know contains uh a chemical a natural chemical
00:42:46related to um opium sorry that wasn't very good uh so sleeping draft
00:42:56right frank your turn
00:43:01a cincanta is a huge um bird in uh persian folklore and um it's uh it's got a enormous
00:43:14wingspan uh one feather of which can be used for rowing a boat and uh and it has the it has
00:43:24it has the power of speech
00:43:30derek jacoby's turn cincanta is an adjective a rather unkind and offensive adjective thought
00:43:39to be of french origin to describe a man who alas for him has passed the age of 50 now if you
00:43:46speak french um you will spot at once why it is called cincanta because the french word for 50 is
00:43:59there's something in that i would allow well it's a sort of sleeping draft it's a fabulous bird
00:44:06and it's a word for any splendid creature who is over 50 so now let's see who it's nannette you
00:44:13must choose no well of course i naturally did spot that it was that um you know the french word for
00:44:24over 50 naturally we all fluently um the sleeping draft which is related to the poppy seed and
00:44:33opium frank's was so awful that i i kind of feel that it has to be that the only thing that puts
00:44:42me off their pad is the thought of a one feather rowing a boat is that at all possible help me
00:44:48maddie yes is it do i have your back i don't know but frankly it's possible well it's so
00:44:54extraordinary frank and i don't want you to lie to me i shall have to assume that it's this
00:44:59gigantic jaws type bird i thought you just put that bit in about rowing the boat but who knows
00:45:06frank you did say it true or bluff it's a bluff isn't it i really know
00:45:20it wasn't that pretty really but it wasn't that who gave the true definition
00:45:29that took a bit of time to get out didn't it means a chap means a chap who's over 50 cincanta
00:45:36as he said uh four two but you didn't believe him zizani is the next one patrick isn't it
00:45:43zizani is a pernicious weed that smothers and stifles corn in the field
00:45:52it's a very annoying weed and it drove bishop evelyn in 1706
00:46:03such fury that he shouted at the at his prisoners
00:46:09many holy and excellent persons god has dispersed as wheat among the tears and zizani
00:46:23let's please he said
00:46:26but he gripped his audience i bet you he did michael culver's the next one here he goes
00:46:31all right if you traveled in in in the middle east in the 17th century you would often hear
00:46:36people say before you set out on your travels beware of the zizani because the zizani were
00:46:43bands of robbers mounted robbers they were very difficult to catch and very dangerous
00:46:49and they would harass travelers on the roads i remember the road between damascus and baghdad
00:46:53was particularly bad oh yes they were bands of robbers bad spot okay nannette newman's go
00:47:02well as zizani provides the background music in the casbah in algiers um it's an instrument not
00:47:10to be confused with the zither or anything like that but rather similar of a horizontal board
00:47:14with strings across it and it's plucked by the thumbnail and it produces a sort of wavering
00:47:21uh kind of note not unlike uh an indian sitar not unlike you've got a baby sitar here
00:47:36shall i shall i remind you yes you'd like me to remind you before you begin
00:47:40otherwise not much for me to do frank
00:47:43it's a musical instrument provides a mosaic in a in a casbah it's a weed
00:47:49and it's a band of fierce robbers uh frank now yeah we are unanimous here um the
00:47:58musical instrument uh we don't think it is there are too many musical instruments that start ziz or
00:48:06relating to ziz paddy's it's a pity there wasn't something on this program which stifled corn
00:48:17we have the middle east robbers
00:48:22no we we think it's paddy's rubbish his early early century clergyman because it was so clever
00:48:29of him to remember part of the sermon it is impressive they did yeah i thought so at the
00:48:34time myself patrick was that true or bluff all that stuff what do you reckon paddy that's all
00:48:40right you're all right you're all right
00:48:49yes isn't he is um a sort of weed that stifles corn and we try and get it to grow over this
00:48:54program one of these days you never know um four three slawk is the next one and it's frank to
00:49:00define it despite my connections with st andrews i've i don't play golf but slawk
00:49:12is an old golfing term therefore it must have been used at st andrews the home of golf
00:49:17it's a very bad lie is a slark and if the ball goes off the glass and into a bird's nest
00:49:25or um or down a molehole or even in a spectator's turnip um it has to be taken out and you'd lose
00:49:33a point and put on the ground uh that's that's a slawk so that's what it is let's see what
00:49:40derek jacoby says well if you came across some slawk and picked it up the first thing you would
00:49:47notice is that it's very slimy no it is in fact a very stringy variety of water weed
00:49:57prevalent in northumbria and it proliferates round the bottom and up drain pipes and covers
00:50:05ships bottoms if you could manage to scrape some off the bottom of the ship to be careful not to
00:50:12get it on your clothes put it in some newspaper and take it home and boil it you could eat it
00:50:20i've not eaten it myself so i can't tell you what it tastes like but i am assured that if the
00:50:24food crisis um gets any worse we could all live on boiled slawk
00:50:31slimy slawk you have to have access to the right sort of ship though and clothes and so prunella
00:50:38well anyone who's ever tried their hand at stoking an industrial furnace will know
00:50:42immediately what a slawk is a slawk is a long pointed poker for um which you use for
00:50:50for poking away the clinker that's got stuck to the fire bars and things which are
00:50:54causing inefficient combustion
00:50:58terribly technical very technical stuff it's water weed on the bottom of a ship
00:51:04or elsewhere and it's a an unplayable lie for a golf ball you pick it up and drop it somewhere
00:51:11else and it's that special sort of poker that gets rid of the clicker in those circumstances
00:51:17patrick's choice we've got four different opinions here already
00:51:21no
00:51:28he doesn't know either and neither do i plunge uh it certainly isn't a poker that for
00:51:36because prunella doesn't know anything about boilers i don't either
00:51:42rather less than she does but it's an unplayable lie certainly rather swiftly
00:51:47where is that busy it's an unplayable lie the unplayable lie was he telling an unplayable lie
00:51:56true or bluff
00:52:08who gave the true definition yes we must have it before
00:52:17yes that's what it means it's water weed all that stuff by gray on the bottom of the ship
00:52:21was perfectly true i say for all they'll be dancing in the hostility room tomorrow
00:52:28no one's the winner so i should suggest you clap both sides how's that
00:52:39so i uh i i'm perfectly certain we'll take another trip to the gaslit end of the oxford
00:52:45english dictionary next time so until then goodbye from michael calver
00:52:51derek jacoby
00:53:04and goodbye
00:53:15so
00:53:22so
00:53:40hello again call my bluff where the suave devil selling three bob notes is frank muir
00:53:48good evening
00:53:48good evening
00:53:52both my guests this week are regulars to the program and the first is a gem of an actress
00:53:58literally in fact because she's sapphire in the new series sapphire and steel it's joanna lumley
00:54:10my other guest i bring you a piece of instant sunshine
00:54:1325 of instant sunshine in fact and also literary editor of punch miles kington
00:54:27and the old mother riley of the panel game patrick campbell
00:54:37it's a very unfair start good evening i haven't said good evening yet good evening
00:54:42good evening my first guest is another flame hair beauty not another flame of beauty a flame
00:54:47hair beauty such as myself used to be it could only be from rock follies a long time ago but
00:54:52still alive rule alenska and my my other guest is not only a superb sports writer but he's also
00:55:04a funny sports writer ian woodridge
00:55:14i ring this and a word descends like that bud mash is the word and you probably recall that
00:55:19what happens now is that frank muir and his team define bud mash bud mash pronounce it as they will
00:55:25three different ways two of them are bogus one's okay and that's the one that patrick and co try
00:55:30and pick out so off you go with bud mash bud mash frank bud mash is humdrum stuff um boring even
00:55:42and the way i do the definition will do nothing to alleviate the bud mash is a dreary kind of
00:55:50stuff that they used to put on the floors in america uh to sort of keep out drafts and to
00:55:56lag pipes it's kind of duty course metting imported from the philippines
00:56:05what a thrilling story i did warn you let's see what miles kington says well i've often wondered
00:56:13um what english criminals put in their passport when they have to fill in the space marked
00:56:17occupation um if you're a burglar i suppose you could put removal expert black mailer man of
00:56:25letters but it's a difficult thing in the middle east it's much easier because there is a word that
00:56:29covers all this um bud mash if you're a burglar from baghdad or a shoplifter from syria you can
00:56:35put in your passport without hesitation bud mash which means a member of the eastern middle
00:56:41middle eastern criminal classes you'd be ill-advised to do so but you could if you wanted
00:56:47i thought you're going to say the criminal middle class
00:56:50it's going to be rather nice joanna lovely your turn if your horse has gone off his fodder
00:56:56and is peering at you glumly over the door of his loose box the thing to do is to tempt him with a
00:57:01bud mash a bud mash is an equine aperitif something to tempt his palate it's made up of
00:57:10chopped brown sugar chopped brown bread chopped apples and carrots
00:57:17and it perks him up a bit okay so they say it's a coarse sort of stuff it's a tonic for a horse
00:57:24tempt his palate that kind of thing and middle eastern criminal patrick yes
00:57:33it's a well-known fact that horses will eat anything including jockeys without an aperitif
00:57:38without an aperitif
00:57:42their eyes are too far apart they can't see where they're going to the fools all horses
00:57:46i'll take that back i better quickly we're currently that's not but it sounds too too
00:57:51inviting point to bud mash no or is it wait a minute do you want me to tell you do you want
00:58:00in a minute about philippine matting middle eastern
00:58:08i think it's a middle eastern god i still didn't for berkeley you do do you i do really well it
00:58:15was uh it was miles kington who said that he'll tell you now true or bluff you got it
00:58:30good mash is a middle eastern criminal and the next one is via oh it'll be pronounced
00:58:37umpteen different ways i dare say patrick yeah yeah yeah it's the same type of word
00:58:46when you shout at a cart or
00:58:50or at huskies mush not mush that's the only other mush mush but in fact
00:58:57a large gentleman on bicycle with very small school boys hats on their heads
00:59:01shout yeah yeah to oars i mean oarsmen
00:59:07men in boats with
00:59:15coaches on riverbank shout yeah yeah what for to encourage the oarsmen to get on with it
00:59:21to get on with it why don't we say hello faster shorter is
00:59:29not short for come over here
00:59:34yeah that was a nice frank to make sense of it yes well let's try ian waldridge now what does
00:59:39he say uh very simple it's just a piece of cloth a piece of linen which crazy old bishops for no
00:59:47reason at all tie on the end of a crozier in fact the only possible reason is a piece of symbolism
00:59:54because back in the old testament the shepherds all used to go on mopping their brow with a piece
00:59:59of cloth mostly in overtime and this was a veer and it's now been adopted by the bishops a veer
01:00:06okay now ruler lenska via is pronounced via it's a gentle breeze that blows along the coast of
01:00:16venezuela and it's also morbidly called the undertaker's wind because for some extraordinary
01:00:24reason the death rate seems to rise when this wind is blowing it's a breeze you say in venezuela
01:00:32it's saying g up to osman and it's a little something tied on the end of a
01:00:37crazier presumably to remind the bishop of something or other frank your turn
01:00:46yes
01:00:51classic bluff is a breeze off the dodecanese or the
01:00:56or strong wind of the cape of good hope so i'm not going to go for that one it might be true
01:01:06might well the veer or chap on a bicycle shouting veer just before crashing into the tree
01:01:18piece of linen used for mopping sheep's foreheads in the old testament
01:01:22uh i think it's paddy and this fool cycling along the towpath
01:01:30yeah you said it was encouraging noises made to osman patrick true or bluff how lovely
01:01:36all that is perfectly true it's an encouraging noise when you're trying to encourage an oarsman
01:01:43bargeonette is the next word miles a bargeonette is a pork butcher's term for the very fatty tissue
01:01:50which surrounds um the kidneys of a pig when you go into a really good butchers and ask for
01:01:55kidneys they'll say bargeonette bargeonette bargeonette bargeonette bargeonette bargeonette
01:02:01the kidneys of a pig when you go into a really good butchers and ask for
01:02:05kidneys they don't produce kidneys they produce this thing that looks like a
01:02:08misshapen snowball and they delve into it like a butcher unwrapping his christmas present and
01:02:13there it is pig's kidneys for the butcher what for you you've got the money for it
01:02:17and there is no known use for this stuff
01:02:22you could throw the butcher
01:02:26you finished you i mean don't say that no i don't know i think no i think nothing
01:02:29you came to a fearless nigger that's how i distinct stop giantly your turn
01:02:35a bargeonette is a jolly rustic knees up you're looking forward to this accent aren't you
01:02:40a jolly rustic knees up between plowmen and milkmaids they throw themselves into dancing
01:02:48and prancing round the meadows to uh
01:02:54they're loving it too to a sort of ordinary musical accompaniment and um it won't shock
01:02:58you to hear that the the origins of this word were in fact french
01:03:06bargainette bargainette she said it is frank yeah budge net
01:03:13flat cap as worn by handicap or affected by certain shop stewards when interviewed on television
01:03:23a bargeonette has two essential differences from a flat cap a worn in the last century
01:03:34and b most important had ear flaps tied under the chin thank you right so it's a kind of rustic
01:03:43dance it's a 19th century flat cap and it's the fat round of pig's kidney ian waldridge
01:03:51well the sincerity i think the sincerity was blazing there for miles king i think uh that's
01:03:57totally untrue uh joanna i couldn't understand a word of it and thought she was auditioning
01:04:04for something which may well be and frank a flat cap and certain class prejudices which
01:04:14may or may not have gone down well but i think after consultation with a skipper here
01:04:19no don't blame it on me i think the audition perhaps was the right one joanna yes the question
01:04:27is did she get the part however now true or bluff joanna you did say it was all this rustic thingy
01:04:44i do not vouch for the accent but what the accent said was true enough it's one of a rustic dance
01:04:48impuser is the next one ian waldridge well impuser if you've seen people every time you go
01:04:55and talk to someone and they're mumbling or you've got continually to go to the television set or the
01:05:00radio set and turn it up uh that's an impuser you're suffering from because it's a blockage
01:05:06in the air it's a little sort of tied up ball of cartilage which sticks in your ear
01:05:12and if it grows you're in dead trouble because you're deaf that's an impuser
01:05:17really definitely two of them no just one you only get it in one ear
01:05:22let us see what ruler has to say an impuser is a midget ghost
01:05:30summoned up by hecate who is uh as you know a well-known magician and it used to take the form
01:05:38of a transparent hobgoblin which used to haunt crossroads
01:05:46oh
01:05:56that's it
01:05:58uh patrick next here he comes impuser is a confectioner's name
01:06:04it's old-fashioned to understand for pale pink powder with which to make boiled sweets more
01:06:12appetizing kind of mid-victorian time but how do you get your impuser you take a bunch of rhubarb
01:06:21left over from perhaps sales or something when a dry the rhubarb pounded
01:06:29add a little water and you used to get it because it's now made of plastic you get this rather
01:06:36enticing pale pink liquid in which you dipped your candies and sweets in that kind of thing
01:06:46so it's sort of pound pounded you said yes rhubarb sort of and you put it on sweets it's a
01:06:52swollen cartilage in the ear and it's a tiny ghost that uh haunted crossroads kept it off the street
01:06:58corner and miles your choice um severe disagreement on this side of the floor that's unusual no you
01:07:05lose it it's your it's your go which is this football where you could hobble off and send
01:07:12somebody else on the side um we don't like the transparent hobgoblin we think it would be very
01:07:19difficult to see a transparent ghost especially a midget transparency especially on crossroads
01:07:28twice weekly
01:07:30so that comes down to the cartilage in the ear only one ear presumably the ear you listen to
01:07:37television with or the sweet rhubarb pink powder well against all my instincts i'm going to go for
01:07:44patrick campbell and against all instincts he's going to prove me right is he well who
01:07:49knows he certainly said it was powdered rhubarb that you doused sweets in true or bluff
01:08:02no no nothing to do with powdered rhubarb who gave the true definition of impuser
01:08:06she did she did
01:08:16the tiny ghosts uh on the no you know crossroads and that's what an impuser was or
01:08:23no doubt is diddler's the next one johanna you defined it diddler is um a term in the
01:08:29ancient game of shove ha'penny patrick do you remember i know all about it shove ha'penny
01:08:35well you could call it shove to pee to bring it up to date but it did lose a shop a shot
01:08:42in shove ha'penny which is aimed to knock a ha'penny which is already safely in a bed
01:08:51no a ha'penny which is not in a bed into a bed but instead of doing so it knocks a ha'penny
01:08:57which is already safely in a bed out of the bed pardon that shot is called a diddler
01:09:04do you see it's a shot which failed yeah i understood yeah well some part i understood
01:09:08so i'm frank new york a diddler is is somebody who spends his whole working day
01:09:19diddling with a diddle
01:09:22is it legal totally and really quite hard work do you want any more information
01:09:32let's spit it out a bit yeah you know obfuscate the issue what do they do with it i mean you know
01:09:37oh well a diddle is um in in some parts of the country is a is a triangular spade with sharp
01:09:46edges and a very very long handle and they clear choked weeds and undergrowth out of ditches
01:09:57diddle i'm going to idling today diddly i die die diddly diddly diddly diddly diddly diddly
01:10:04everybody knows that yes what does miles kington tell us and his diddlers three
01:10:13i'm sure there's not a clue there at all no in fact a diddler is is it's a non-conformist pigeon
01:10:23not in any religious meaning the word but in pigeon fancies language a diddler is a pigeon
01:10:28which has no homing instinct which from their point of view is a bad pigeon because when you
01:10:33set it free in a strange place it immediately flies to somewhere it's never been before
01:10:38and is thus difficult to recover
01:10:42for some reason um pigeons with white bars on their tails
01:10:45make the most apt diddlers but no one has ever found the reason for this at all
01:10:51well it's a bad shot shot evidently a bad shot at shelf agency it's a triangular spade with which
01:10:58you dig weeds out of ditches and the like and it's an unhoming pigeon so rule alensky your turn to
01:11:04choose well i like the idea of the shove hate me but i don't somehow think that
01:11:13that would be called a diddler the triangular spade
01:11:20could be could be looking impassive diddler diddler you called it a diddler didn't you
01:11:26yes diddler
01:11:29and miles is miles this funny little pigeon that never goes home they migrate by accident
01:11:39they just diddle about yes i think i'll go for the pigeon go for the pigeon miles to obla home away
01:11:46nothing to do with pigeons who gave the true definition of this word diddler died like call it what you will
01:11:59I diddle all day
01:12:01all day
01:12:12and fifth is our next word a ruler your turn a fifth is an old theatrical can't word for prompt
01:12:23thus if you got to the middle of your hamlet soliloquy and you got stuck after to be or not
01:12:29to be you said out of the prompt side of your mouth quick give it a fifth
01:12:38you just might patrick fifth is a vaguely but only vaguely on a matter period word
01:12:48meaning to play on pipes for instance the well-known little figure of peter pan
01:12:57he's been fifty away for years at nannies and children some irresponsible dogs
01:13:05but he's fifty away like mad
01:13:10that's it that's it good well or bad as the case may be ian your turn uh fifth and i dispute the
01:13:16spelling i think that's wrong is in fact that's a jolly good move we've not had that before
01:13:22before that's new ground being broken in fact it's um it's a victorian well most people know
01:13:27this one it's a victorian firework and it's another ball it's not the carters this time
01:13:33it's a it's a ball of salt peter which was filled with iron filings and at christmas
01:13:39the victorians used to whack them in the fire for fireworks and they'd go bang that's why it's
01:13:44called fifth it's like a hand grenade yes it wouldn't go bang well it's an indoor firework
01:13:52it's a prompt on the stage and it's to play on pan pipes i think patrick said jianna your choice
01:14:02i'm getting the old cold shoulder again um
01:14:05and i think if a firework went off it would go bang and if it didn't go off it would go fifth
01:14:11so i'm going away from the firework
01:14:18paddy i think a fifth with my musket fifth and drum five fifth five
01:14:28quite possible thank you and as for rulers going fifth out of the corner of your mouth
01:14:35and you've tried it's such rubbish that i should like rulers fifth prompt you're choosing that
01:14:40one are you when i'm right let's see if you chose well rule alenska true or bluff
01:14:52no no nothing to do with that we have to know the true definition now
01:14:57oh little peter pan there it is
01:14:59is
01:15:04it evidently means playing around on pan pipes
01:15:10and now we have i don't know procello i might say frank your turn who wondered how you get the
01:15:19um in a bottle how you get the the bottleneck of a bottle well dip your glass blower's tube
01:15:26into the glass oh that's great turn it until you blow it roll the edge of the tube along the sort
01:15:33of little thing and grabbing a pair of protulae or a protulae which the kind of tongs were long
01:15:43because glass is hot with a kind of finger bit on the end you roll the end of your molten glass
01:15:51in between these tongs and it makes the bottleneck potulo jolly good bit of miming that yes
01:16:01miles his turn well uh formal banquets or dinners are divided into two parts the first part is the
01:16:06eating which is chicken soup roast lamb fruit salad everywhere in england the second half is
01:16:12the after dinner speeches which is the part people are looking forward to but you sometimes get the
01:16:17problem that after dinner speaker may be very bad but has to speak because he's the most important
01:16:22person around and that is where the prosello comes in because it's a before dinner speech
01:16:27a short one greeting to the guests and you shove him on and he makes a short prosello
01:16:32and the worst that can happen is that the soup can go cold they're far worse than that
01:16:37sure now joanna lumley in academic terms a pro kello is a king's scholar at eaton college um
01:16:47which you could call the winds are comprehensive
01:16:51um king henry the sixth founded the college in 1441 and so the chart of the school is written
01:16:57in latin which is why for the purists i'm pronouncing it pro kello although you know
01:17:02the more slovenly italian readers later on would probably call it pro jello but in fact it's pro
01:17:06kello that's saying isn't it it's um it's a king's scholar at eaton it's a glass blower's
01:17:15pincers and it's a speech of welcome before the meal begins patrick to choose i'm in torment
01:17:22here i spent many years of my life under under pressure watching jugs and mugs been blown in the
01:17:31abiot i'm sure they all had pacheros or did they
01:17:38yes i can't i can't remember christ it couldn't be oh yeah but it couldn't be called a king
01:17:46king's scholar pro chello
01:17:55i believe it to be with all heart and sincerity
01:17:59and no mind
01:18:02it must be a machine made for making bottles molten glass bottles it might be
01:18:09you're choosing that one the glass dingo yes right that was frank true or bluff frank
01:18:15i didn't say it was
01:18:24it's a glass closed pincer used for pinching the end of bottles
01:18:27and other such uh things objects hilsa is the next one five two ah yes patrick your turn
01:18:36hilsa used to be the household personal guard of a danish sovereigns
01:18:45pounds it's quite possible
01:18:47it was unfinished you see it's quite possible that king canute
01:18:55has hilsa all around him and he's getting his socks wet at southampton it shows how
01:19:02much they knew about anything except dragging him away there to get his socks wet didn't they
01:19:07what's that got to do with the whole hilsa
01:19:10what what was the hilsa so what did the gentleman say
01:19:15well wherever you go in the upper ganges and you see the lettuce is frying tonight
01:19:21you'll be having a hilsa because a hilsa is a revolting silvery looking fish which in fact
01:19:28when tasted is not bad it's sort of halfway between a salmon and a mackerel hilsa tonight
01:19:35hilsa okay and now it's uh the hilsa with the capital h is a branch of the manx government
01:19:48which is in charge of making non-political decisions about parliamentary procedures
01:19:56okay then kind of a fish kind of a danish bodyguard you might have thought it was a
01:20:01sock he just he got carried away there and it's a part of the manx parliament sort of committee
01:20:06that kind of thing frank your choice he thinks it's the hilsa alive with the sound of music
01:20:14some of the help he is at this stage of the game he's a great help to you
01:20:19and this is where we can crack that
01:20:29if you hurry up and get another chance i don't not at all anxious for another chance
01:20:34where you stand nice well uh danish king's sock
01:20:40indian cross between a mackerel and a salmon or a parliamentarian without a tail
01:20:47oh dear oh dear um i don't think it's the danish king's sock or the manx government
01:20:56i think it's the indian fish i don't really but i've got to say something the indian
01:21:00well now that was ian woolridge we all well remember was he teasing or was it true true or bluff
01:21:07oh it's true
01:21:17that's just for fun just for fun you've got almost no time at all but at three five let's
01:21:22start with this word stoof miles just about three words doof is a stuffy place rather
01:21:28i'm sweaty place it's an old name for do-it-yourself steam bath joanna it's an uncooperative australian
01:21:34person and frank high-class silk made by high-class indian silkworms so it's
01:21:44it's silk it's a sort of uncooperative australian uh and it's kind of steam bath
01:21:50ian we must choose instantly well i'm not sure i think uh i've got to go if it's that quick for
01:21:55joanna
01:22:00joanna joanna said it was an uncooperative australian true or bluff here she goes
01:22:07i want the true definition now there it is
01:22:17steam bath steam bath one more please
01:22:20now he wants it but he can't have it i'm drawing stumps it's all over we'll pay five four
01:22:25patrick and curve one
01:22:35another trip to the boneyard of the english language next time until then goodbye from miles
01:22:40kington
01:22:56and goodbye
01:23:10so
01:23:32hello again hello again this is call my bluff featuring the first lord of the irish navy
01:23:38patrick campbell
01:23:44um i could say falling and rocking back again it has been inside is rule alenska
01:23:59um the world's greatest sports writer and his nostrils flaring for another battle because
01:24:05we won last week didn't we and the rector of stiff key frank muir
01:24:24thank you and i return of course with our
01:24:27semi-successful team of last week on my right the ever lovely joanna lumbly
01:24:36and on my left the effervescent miles kington
01:24:45trying in a word that's usually successful you ring that bell
01:24:49highmation or himation highmation i suspect patrick's team will define highmation three
01:24:56different ways two of them are false one is true and that's the one that frank and his team
01:25:00try and choose so off you go patrick with this word highmation it is indeed pronounced highmation
01:25:08it's a silent and gentle metamorphosis it's happening to all of us if you're in the audience
01:25:15as we all sit here we're all going through highmation which in the old medical
01:25:26textbooks meant the gradual growing of finger and toenails
01:25:36i thought you didn't say sedation
01:25:41so that's what he says now what does ian waldridge give us uh well i would say if you if you are
01:25:46accustomed to reading the sports pages and you know uh about a footballer who scores a goal
01:25:50he then walks 10 feet tall well that is hymation and naturally it comes from the the latin as
01:25:57classical scholars will know hymatus which is a stilt something you walk along and off the ground
01:26:02and it it keeps you what four or five or even nine ten feet off the ground so therefore hymation
01:26:08is the actual action or process of walking by a stilt righto ruler lindsay's go hymation should
01:26:18in fact be pronounced he made tion because it comes from the greek and it is in fact an ancient
01:26:26greek outer garment taking the form of a sort of rather long and wide shawl which was nonchalantly
01:26:34flung over the left shoulder and fastened under the right armpit not just straight away
01:26:40so this is what they say it is they say it's walking on stilts it's the uh i thought i was
01:26:48going to say the noise of your toenails growing it isn't the noise it's just your toenails growing
01:26:53and it's a greek garment frank muir
01:26:56nails oh um ah i was immensely puzzled by ian's nine foot tall footballers how are they they'd
01:27:12have nobody to kiss if they scored a goal without bending down alarmingly walking on stilts which
01:27:20would be extremely difficult to score a goal um what were you saying because you could get up to
01:27:25buy those two um yes right it's at your time growing of finger i'll never talk to you again
01:27:32if you're wrong um growing of fingernails and toenails is complete rubbish paddy i think you
01:27:38should be ashamed of yourself for not talking that kind of nonsense on a show like this and
01:27:43wasting fine viewers time so therefore no it's not a greece and short it's paddy's fingernail growing
01:27:55do you think it is i don't know you're diving in well you don't you you just think it might be
01:27:59it was patrick who said it was the fingernails and toenails going on blood what a tragedy
01:28:12there may be a word for that but it isn't that one who gave the true definition
01:28:17it's a greek garment every detail of what that young woman said was true
01:28:23clock is the next one frank your defines it what i can say is that both my team got the last one
01:28:29right what's the clock ah yes our language is rich in words which describe the very
01:28:38word itself describes in a semi-onomatopoeical way the noise an animal makes a duck you say
01:28:46what noise doesn't a duck make it goes quack does it not a cow goes moo words all by themselves
01:28:56duck make it goes quack does it not a cow goes moo words all by themselves
01:29:06a crow cause look cause but you say suppose you startle
01:29:15what i said remember oh yes i suppose you startle a jack snipe a what a jack snipe a snipe
01:29:25goes pluck
01:29:30i think that's enough of that really i enjoyed it very much miles your turn
01:29:36ah um clock um delving into political economy from it was a tax levied in certain baltic states
01:29:44during the 19th century early 19th late 19th century um it was a tax in fact levied on any
01:29:52object made out of wood or timber and exported from lithuania estonia or latvia which must have
01:29:58hit boat builders very hard i should think but you don't hear much about plock these days which
01:30:04is probably explained by the fact you don't hear much about lithuania latvia or estonia these days
01:30:09all gone a fascinating glimpse into the bygone history of the baltic states there
01:30:13is i think joanna you better start now
01:30:19pluck is a gluey substance which was once spread on bottoms on
01:30:25which was spread on ships bottoms to delay corrosion and to stop um beastly old barnacles
01:30:32and woodworm and things setting in quite easy to make you added to a barrel of boiling tar
01:30:40an armful of chopped horse hair threw it together and spread it on the bottom of the ship
01:30:51right so it's a tax in the baltic it's sort of under seal for a ship and it's a
01:30:57the noise of jack snipe makes patrick your choice i thought we might have to wait forever to
01:31:05i'm afraid to go through the whole zoo
01:31:09including the birds and the reptiles many of whom are silent admittedly
01:31:14it isn't a jack snipe it doesn't make a sound it makes no sound at all jack snipe or even a lady
01:31:19snap chopped up up horse hair and bottoms
01:31:28tax on timber it's a pluck on your tax timber well in all conscience it's got to be chopped
01:31:35up horse here in all conscience were you telling the truth joanna because it was you yes
01:31:44yeah you were
01:31:54that did sound the most unlikely one i have to say gone off this game
01:31:58pollen is the next one and ian woodridge defines the word uh this is uh it's pretty well known to
01:32:05anyone who understands the british raj or just before uh predating gandhi even macbeth
01:32:13india pollen was a word for a large parcel of land a kind of a state but it was slightly
01:32:20different because it was ruled by a ferocious leader who protected it fiercely so it's a piece
01:32:25of land in southern india a pollen right now ruler your turn if you asked a victorian farmer from
01:32:35essex that's presuming you could find one what sort of wheat he recommended for his particular
01:32:42soil he would say pollen because pollen is a sort of bearded wheat which seems to thrive
01:32:50particularly well on the brick red soil of essex okay and now it's patrick's turn
01:32:59the pollen is a small area of hair towards the back of the head in many in medieval not many
01:33:10medieval times in medieval times many a mummy watched her baby's palms with care and anxiety
01:33:22in any concern because if baby's pollen grew counterclockwise
01:33:30it meant the baby had been marked by the devil
01:33:36so what are you laughing at anyway it used to be it used to be an indian estate a large one
01:33:43wheat grown in essex and a little spot of hair on the back of a baby's head that had to grow
01:33:48one way rather than another miles your choice we're just studying the back of frank muir's head
01:33:56but desperate here you know don't rush it he hasn't got one well i'm going to play for time
01:34:01while my um no no no do you do judges will hold up numbers later you you all right recriminations
01:34:07afterwards i i was a bit confused when ian referred to a bit of indian land ruled by a
01:34:13fierce ruler because i was referring to another member of the team
01:34:18a fierce ruler said it was bearded wheat
01:34:24small area of hair counterclockwise
01:34:28i don't think there were enough clocks in medieval times for him to worry about which way they had
01:34:35i'm going for a ruler's definition the bearded wheat i like the bearded wheat of essex she said
01:34:40ruler true or bluff
01:34:53uh my second choice
01:34:57that's never been tried before and no one's ever given up
01:35:03now who gave the true definition let's have it you're bound to get it right in the end
01:35:10well done
01:35:13it was the large indian estate that was my third choice
01:35:18floor uh floor is the next one miles kington defines it oh this is a very simple boring one
01:35:23it's it's something that makes it very dangerous to go sailing on or around michaelmas which
01:35:29wouldn't be much use to me personally because i haven't got a boat and i can never remember when
01:35:33michaelmas is but if i had i now know that it would be on around september the 29th because
01:35:40that is when you're liable to get a floor which is a sudden squall which builds up in the sea
01:35:45very suddenly so suddenly you don't have time to get your spinnaker down it splits in two
01:35:48you're in big trouble here comes off the floor right so joanna lovely floor is a sort of secret
01:35:56word used amongst the more disreputable members of the antique dealing trade um i mean it's used
01:36:03to describe one of these people because what they do is they get absolutely non-antique furniture
01:36:08and by the use of stains and making little weevil holes and whacking it about with chains and
01:36:14generally making it look a lot older than it is um they make it look a lot older than it is
01:36:21and then it looks like an antique and they sell it for more money
01:36:23disgusting frank your turn a flare a flare a flare is a is a north country publicans name
01:36:35for what is otherwise called a bung starter it's a it's a chisel shaped a piece of metal
01:36:43which is hit with a wooden hammer against the bung on a barrel which loosens it so the air can get in
01:36:51allow the spigot to draw off the beer nowadays of course the metal dustbins beer comes in
01:36:59and they have metal bungs so you might well ask where have all the flares gone
01:37:07but i wouldn't if i were you so it's a sudden squall it is one who fakes wormholes and the
01:37:14like in furniture that isn't old to make it look old and it's a tool for loosening the bung of a
01:37:20barrel ian waldridge to choose yes it's very tricky it's good it can be all your fault it's
01:37:28not bad yeah it's not bad but to to to look at uh miles there he clearly knows nothing about sailing
01:37:34at all and uh all that rubbish about spinnakers uh i would think that so i rule that out immediately
01:37:42very wise johanna um she obviously knows a great deal about the ring and the knock
01:37:47which is all in the antique business i think of doing on things but faking i think that word is
01:37:53just too close to being too obvious for faking so with the skipper's permission i'm going to go
01:38:00shock me frank because uh the trail there was so so sort of florid and long then i think that's
01:38:08perhaps the answer so i think a flora has got something to do with bungs he said it was a little
01:38:14implement you bang them with frank uot true or bluff
01:38:30no no no not that no that was all made up who gave the true definition there he's got it yes
01:38:44sudden squall rather dangerous it seems three one we get another word drowsing and it's uh
01:38:51ruler then sky blue well drowsing is a cumberland adjective that describes a particular state of the
01:38:58weather and they use it for when the weather is humid and airless and very nasty and heavy
01:39:07like preceding a very heavy thunderstorm
01:39:11okay patrick's go now drowsing was an alcoholic porridge
01:39:22very very popular in the inns and taverns of the west country
01:39:28you might like to know how you made your drowsing you took a huge lump of oatmeal
01:39:34and you found a barrel of beer which was almost empty it had some dregs left in the bottom of it
01:39:40you pour this over your oatmeal boil gently to taste and munch it
01:39:51either that or rub it in
01:39:54well a drowsing explains why oysters now cost about 40 or 50 pounds a dozen
01:40:00because it's a fishing net which goes very deep down and it's got a special grappling device on
01:40:05the bottom which grapples along the rocks and grapples the oysters off and puts them in this
01:40:10net and this is a very very expensive process process that's why they're so expensive but
01:40:15that's what a drowsing is it's a fishing net for oysters or an oyster net they say it's these three
01:40:22things humid weather in cumberland or thereabouts a very expensive sort of net for oysters or
01:40:29rather the oysters are expensive um and it's beer and oatmeal that you eat johanna
01:40:37being english oh it's no the word being english it could it's it sounds so nice
01:40:44the drowsing weather a drowsing day muggy everybody feeling drowsing drowsing off
01:40:51i don't like it ruler not that the oyster net it i can't imagine a net which
01:41:00goes over the rocks and is so comprehensively clever and i'd also don't like your expression
01:41:07at the moment paddy yes i'm afraid we're now going to agree i think i've got my team on my side here
01:41:17it is tipsy porridge it is it is munched beer and beer and oatmeal all mixed
01:41:23boil it up that's what patrick said true or bluff well done darling
01:41:37you're back in the game now frank here we go
01:41:39paddy snuff the next one interesting word jay and i your turn snuff is a fuse made of twisted
01:41:48brown paper and it's used in the cornish tin mines what you do is you twist up your snuff
01:41:56put a light to it pop it in its little thing or wherever you generally pop fuses
01:42:01and rush behind the nearest builder and put your fingers in your ears and fifth i mean
01:42:09actually and that's what it is it's it's um a little twist of brown paper
01:42:15probably impregnated with something something will you hear the drowsing
01:42:22well fairly technical that now frank muir has a go snuff is is a generic term country term country
01:42:29not town for um old dried reeds grasses that kind of thing which is kept really very dry
01:42:38and then they were they were strewn around on the floors of the uh the cheese room or the dairy or
01:42:45anywhere because they kept the place dry they were essentially dry and they mocked up any moisture or
01:42:50supposed to that was hanging around it was a very easy cheap primitive floor covering
01:42:57all right so now uh miles it's enough of that
01:43:05a snuff is actually old thieves slang um dating back to the days the old days of crime not so old
01:43:10back to harryman but victorian days when teams of thieves went out in three and they had
01:43:17specially divided functions one man went in the house to get the swag and he was called a scuffer
01:43:22the second man stood outside the window with a bag ready to receive the stuff as it's pushed
01:43:26through the window and he was called a snuff there was a third man even further away just
01:43:31waiting to see if anyone came along and he was called a looker i suppose nowadays there'd be a
01:43:35fourth man to look after the nylon tights they'll choose the right color and mend the ladders that
01:43:40sort of thing but in those days just the scuffer the snuff and the looker so it was rather rough
01:43:46stuff uh made out of grass cover the dairy or somewhere like that the floor of it i mean
01:43:51it's a it was a thief sort of a thief and a fuse uh in mining uh ruler your turn i loved your little
01:44:00twisted fuse but there was a playful glint in your eyes all the way through that and i don't think
01:44:06it's right quite tempted by frank's reeds and rushes old-fashioned matting on the floor yield
01:44:15to temptation but i think i'm going to plump oh goody goody
01:44:24thank you meaning one of the thieves who waited around for the
01:44:28loot well that was miles wasn't it yes you said that show it quickly before you change your mind
01:44:33no no no no who gave the true definition that was wrongly plumped for oh no
01:44:52playful glint showed all because it was indeed that little twisted feud three all how interesting
01:44:58the game now becomes grouse or bruise is the next one patrick campbell defines it
01:45:04grouse is a verb which it means to eat with a loud crunching noise go you might be grousing away you
01:45:14see on an apple stick celery not a banana wouldn't get any resonance out of banana
01:45:24but if you stick the walnut into the banana you get a lovely grousing
01:45:29the best thing that people used to do when they were grousing on a walnut
01:45:34or a piece of celery or an apple they replace the males over the cake hole in order to
01:45:45to hush the din
01:45:51play up band
01:45:55when was this recently oh no many years ago pre-christmas days oh pre-christmas at least
01:46:01thank you let us now see what ian waldridge has to tell us well the pronunciation is grooves
01:46:07and like booze it's a fleet street term uh because it's it's really allied to the printing trade and
01:46:14bookbinding trade because grooves was the homemade paste with which they used to put the the gilt
01:46:21lettering on those beautiful leather books and it's made of egg white and arabic a few things
01:46:28like that grooves okay um now we have ruler lindske you might find some grouse on your local church
01:46:39tower if you have one because it's a sort of greenish mold that forms on soft metals edible
01:46:49i don't know i've never tried on zinc and especially sheeting metal which
01:46:54towers of old churches are made of i've seen it yeah good so that's what they say it is it's
01:47:02it's crunching things up in your mouth making a noise crunching them green mold on churches
01:47:08particularly and it's a bookbinder's pace for putting the gilt on the back of of the of the
01:47:15books so frank's choice this is um right here yes we've had a conference so we need to go through
01:47:24that again um good lettering is put on leather with a hot iron um not uh grease greenish mold
01:47:36is called verdigris isn't it i have difficulty actually i'm a rather an audible eater even with
01:47:45my mouth closed for some reason i think it comes out of my ears but i'm hoping it's to eat loudly
01:47:53because it's such a nice word for it that's the one you choose yes thank you yes please
01:47:58right tell him it's an agony isn't it
01:48:12you're coming back very strongly there frank this is really very interesting it is it does indeed