• 2 months ago
Transcript
00:00I've been playing the detective to a remarkable extent.
00:05Only I am aware of each case in its entirety.
00:10No more questions now.
00:17Does anybody in here love me?
00:21His name is Brian.
00:23Good evening, Brian.
00:25I said, does anybody in here love me?
00:28Brian's case was the first one that gave me an inkling into what might be achieved.
00:52Oh, no.
00:55Brian!
00:59Are you back yet, Brian?
01:11Oh, no.
01:25Brian?
01:28What do you think? Found it in the woods.
01:30Bloody heavy. I thought we could do something with it.
01:33It's filthy.
01:35I'll clean it up.
01:36Absolutely filthy.
01:38Well?
01:40It's enormous.
01:41So's the house.
01:43Brian, the house is full of things waiting to be done something with.
01:47Rocks and stones and shells.
01:50Heaven knows what.
01:53Brian?
01:55What are you doing, Brian?
02:07I thought it would look interesting in here.
02:10As what?
02:12As nothing. Just interesting.
02:15You'll see.
02:17Your artistic sympathies will leap to the fore and you'll be mad about it.
02:20Any coffee?
02:22I made you some juice.
02:24Oh, there's the papers and cigarettes.
02:26And I bought you some chocolates.
02:28Oh, you know I'm on a diet.
02:51Oh, Brian.
02:53That's all I need.
02:55A dirty great tree in my living room.
02:57Don't worry.
02:59You make some coffee and I'll clean it all up.
03:01The tree and the carpet.
03:09Great.
03:11Just great.
03:21Here's your coffee.
03:26Brian!
03:28What?
03:30It's making such a mess.
03:32I'll hoover it up in a minute.
03:34It's going to be marvellous.
03:36You're not going to keep it, are you?
03:38Yes.
03:40In the house?
03:42Yes.
03:44In the house?
03:46Yes.
03:48Yes.
03:50In the house?
03:52Yes.
03:54Look, what do you make of this?
03:57Seven backwards E.
04:00W.
04:02M, frontwards.
04:05E, L.
04:07Mel.
04:09Mel, of course.
04:11His name's Mel.
04:13Whose?
04:15The tree's.
04:17It looks definitely feminine to me.
04:19Could be.
04:21Whatever her name,
04:23you must admit there's something about her.
04:25Hmm.
04:27There's something about her, all right.
04:29I don't think I like it.
04:31Character.
04:33That's what she has.
04:35When I've finished,
04:37she'll look a lot happier.
04:42And quite, quite beautiful.
04:45Do you mind if I go down to the pub?
04:49Well, do you?
04:53Do I what?
04:55Do you mind?
04:57I said I'm going up to the pub for half an hour.
04:59Is that all right, or did you want to come with me?
05:01No.
05:03No, darling, I don't think so.
05:05I think I'd better get some lunch together.
05:07I want to pop up and see Mike.
05:09He said he'd be there.
05:11I shan't be long, OK?
05:13What are you going to do about that mess?
05:15I'll clean it up when I get back.
05:17Just leave it.
05:19It really won't be long.
05:31Let's have a lazy afternoon, shall we?
05:33Mmm, lovely.
05:38Bye.
05:40Bye.
05:43Bye.
06:13Bye.
06:43Bye.
07:00Well, Mel,
07:02if you think you're going to be moving in here
07:04for any length of time,
07:06I'm afraid you're going to be wildly disappointed.
07:08I've never liked sharing with other women.
07:10In the meantime, however...
07:41Oh.
08:05Ah!
08:11Oh!
08:15Why?
08:40Oh!
09:10Who moved you?
09:23It's about as attractive as a petrified forest.
09:26How am I supposed to move it to clean?
09:28It must weigh a tonne.
09:30It does, so don't move it again on your own
09:32or you'll strain yourself.
09:34What do you mean, move it again?
09:36I haven't touched the bloody thing.
09:38I'm playing games. That's about all I can stand.
09:40What's the matter with you?
09:42I don't know. I'm just a bit jumpy, that's all.
09:44I'll make some coffee.
09:54Want one?
09:56Sure. We might as well both get smashed
09:58if you're really looking for trouble.
10:00Bella.
10:02Look, I don't want to have a row.
10:04I really don't.
10:06But I do not like that thing.
10:09And I do not like your attitude
10:11in completely ignoring that fact.
10:13How can you get so neurotic
10:15over a perfectly delightful little tree?
10:17It isn't a tree.
10:19Well, a piece of a tree.
10:21A perfectly natural piece of a tree.
10:23It isn't natural!
10:25What do you mean?
10:27It's unnatural.
10:29It's sawn off and upside down and ugly.
10:33I think it's vile,
10:35but don't tell me that we've got to keep it.
10:37You're being ridiculous.
10:39You were telling me it's you or her next.
10:41One of us will have to go.
10:43You've been spawning for a fight for weeks,
10:45but I didn't think you were this anxious.
10:47You bastard!
10:49Oh, lovely. Here we go.
11:05Here we go.
11:25Brian.
11:27Yes?
11:29I'm gonna get into bed and watch the movie on television.
11:31You do that.
11:33All right.
11:39I'll come in a little while.
11:41You get some rest, darling.
12:03All right.
12:33Yes.
12:35Yes, indeed.
12:37Great.
12:39Now,
12:41clean up the mess
12:43into the bedroom
12:47and see if we can sway
12:49Her Majesty's displeasure.
12:57I'm afraid
12:59I can't.
13:01All right.
13:21Hey, Brian.
13:23Somebody up here loves you.
13:31No.
13:49Someone in here loved me.
13:53Language of love.
13:55I don't know
13:57what a chrysanthemum means.
13:59Come to bed.
14:13It's sawn off and
14:15upside down and ugly.
14:17I think it's vile, so don't tell me
14:19that we've got to keep it.
14:21You're being ridiculous.
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