S13 E12 Joanna Lumley, Rula Lenska, Miles Kington, Ian Wooldridge.
S13 E13 Anouska Hempel, Diana Quick, Robert Powell, Nigel Havers.
S13 E14 Anouska Hempel, Diana Quick, Robert Powell, Nigel Havers.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
S13 E13 Anouska Hempel, Diana Quick, Robert Powell, Nigel Havers.
S13 E14 Anouska Hempel, Diana Quick, Robert Powell, Nigel Havers.
Host/Team captains: Robert Robinson, Frank Muir, Patrick Campbell.
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00:00that crunchy noise when you eat walnuts or things that will make crunchy noises.
00:00:04Facula is the next word. Frank Muir's turn.
00:00:08You are a Roman citizen, trotting about your business in the city of Rome,
00:00:15supposing you were an official and had a toga, because that's the easiest way to describe it.
00:00:20You've got your toga draped round. No pockets.
00:00:26So where do you put the Roman equivalent of credit card, loose change, denarii, chariot keys?
00:00:37Where you put these essential things is in a little facula,
00:00:41which is a bag, rather like a Dorothy bag, with a tie top, which you had round your belt.
00:00:47OK. Now, who do we have? We have Miles Kington.
00:00:52To the astronomer, a facula is as different from a macula as chalk from cheese,
00:00:59Muir from Campbell, all those, because they are both sunspots.
00:01:04But whereas the macula is the more common dark sunspot, a sort of celestial blackhead,
00:01:15the facula is the rarer, brighter than bright, whiter than white sunspot.
00:01:21Is it? Mm-hm. Right, Joanna, what's the name?
00:01:26A facula, it's a pompous, pedantic word for a highly personal piece of eccentricity,
00:01:34an idiosyncratic notion or action. For instance, I must make this clearer.
00:01:41You'd better, in a hurry.
00:01:43If you always wore your socks over your shoes,
00:01:46or you always spread raspberry jam on your bacon rashers,
00:01:49you are either, in the last case, an American, or in possession of a facula.
00:01:56Or both. An eccentric whim.
00:01:59Yes, so it's the bright as opposed to the dark sunspot.
00:02:03It's a sort of idiosyncrasy, and it's a Roman purse. Patrick?
00:02:08Well, now, if you're interested in all that, celestial blackheads.
00:02:16It's well known that Romans carried their credit cards in the sleeve.
00:02:22They never had pockets in togas. You're not into Rome, are you?
00:02:28People with shoes and jam sandwiches on their socks.
00:02:33It has to be the celestial blackhead.
00:02:36The celestial blackhead of which Miles spoke to our bluff,
00:02:40because much hinges on this.
00:02:55So that's really what it is. It is a bright sunspot,
00:02:58and that makes it for all I could go grinding on, I'm sure.
00:03:01But I like things to end happily, unless I've got it all wrong.
00:03:05Oh, yes, I have. Have I? No, surely it should be.
00:03:09Am I right? It is for all.
00:03:12A little bit of grumbling going on behind there, but they'll get to it in time.
00:03:17So at for all, I think I'm going to stop everything.
00:03:20Don't you think that's a good idea?
00:03:22Toss a coin. Toss a coin, he says.
00:03:25And so nobody's won. What a hearty burst of applause that entitles everyone to.
00:03:35Thank you.
00:03:44They're for all. More definitions next week with solid tyres, I don't doubt.
00:03:49Until then, goodbye from Ian Woolridge...
00:03:55..Miles Kington...
00:03:58..Yulia Lenska...
00:04:01..Joanna Lumley...
00:04:03..Patrick Gamble...
00:04:06..Frank Miller...
00:04:09..and goodbye.
00:04:33APPLAUSE
00:04:49Hello. It's Call My Bluff, featuring the man who is tall, dark and crooked,
00:04:54Frank Miller.
00:04:56APPLAUSE
00:04:58Good evening.
00:05:01Both my guests this week are actors, except one who's an actress.
00:05:06My first is the actress one, who was in the National Theatre Company
00:05:11and is now in the Royal Shakespeare Company at the Aldwych,
00:05:14and it is Diana Quick.
00:05:16APPLAUSE
00:05:22My second is a very, very good actor indeed,
00:05:25who is in grave danger of becoming a film star.
00:05:29Leaping down the 39 steps comes Robert Powell.
00:05:33APPLAUSE
00:05:39And the ancient mariner himself, Patrick Gamble.
00:05:43APPLAUSE
00:05:47My first guest is a delicious little kind of mixed-up bundle
00:05:53of Australian birth, really.
00:05:57A kind of Russian-Australian with some kind of German connections.
00:06:02She could only be Anoushka Hempel.
00:06:06APPLAUSE
00:06:12And my other assistant could perhaps be described as a gentleman jockey,
00:06:17because he's been galloping around in a horseman riding by.
00:06:23LAUGHTER
00:06:26His name is Nigel Havers.
00:06:29APPLAUSE
00:06:35Right, right, right. That was fun, but wait till you see this.
00:06:38Now, you get the word quinkle.
00:06:40It's the first word, and what happens, you may remember, I don't know.
00:06:43Frank Miller and his team define quinkle three different ways.
00:06:46Two of the definitions are bogus ones, false ones.
00:06:49Only one is true, and that's the one that Patrick and company try and pick out.
00:06:53Off you go, Frank. Quinkle.
00:06:55This is a family programme, and yet I have to mention a naked light.
00:07:02LAUGHTER
00:07:04Because in Scotland, not only St Andrews,
00:07:07but even lesser areas of Scotland even, a quinkle...
00:07:11Well, you take a match or a candle, and it starts to...
00:07:17..like that.
00:07:19And to quinkle is a match or candle which has gone guttering and stuttery
00:07:25and has gone out eventually.
00:07:27Right out. Poof! Like that.
00:07:29Poof!
00:07:33So, now Robert Powell, yet to go.
00:07:36If you were driving down the M4 and happened to turn on your radio,
00:07:41car radio, in a remote part of Worcestershire,
00:07:45and hear a local radio station,
00:07:47it is very possible, very possible you could tune into a weather forecast.
00:07:51In which case, you could hear a man say,
00:07:54there will be bright periods, broken perhaps by a slight quinkles of rain.
00:07:59Because a quinkle is in fact a Worcestershire word,
00:08:03meaning a shower or a scattering.
00:08:05You could imply it to rain, snow, even Worcestershire sauce.
00:08:10Right, that's what he says it is.
00:08:12Now, what does Diana Quick say?
00:08:14Any card players amongst you?
00:08:17Yes.
00:08:19This is a card game,
00:08:23better known as five-card loo.
00:08:26This is the easy version.
00:08:29Quinkle.
00:08:33That's fairly runic. You're stopping there, right?
00:08:36She says it's the easy version of five-card loo.
00:08:39It's that, it's a sprinkle of this, that or the other.
00:08:43Worcestershire sauce, rain, anything.
00:08:45And it's a light going out, or just flickering out in Scotland.
00:08:50Patrick, your choice.
00:08:52Well, it's impossible, the first word.
00:08:56That's what you're paid to do, Paddy.
00:08:59Five-card loo.
00:09:04There's a lot of people in there, isn't there?
00:09:09A Worcestershire sprinkling drizzle.
00:09:14Or a fluttering match or candle.
00:09:16Well, it's...
00:09:18We believe it to be...
00:09:21I say, without consulting other members of my staff...
00:09:28I believe it's a kind of five-card loo game.
00:09:31Five-card loo.
00:09:33You nearly made a joke there, Patrick, I noticed it.
00:09:36Now, Diana, you said that, true or blunt?
00:09:43It's either blunt or I can do it.
00:09:45Thank you very much.
00:09:52It's not a card game, not that.
00:09:54Someone gave the true definition, though.
00:09:56One of those three over there, he's got to own up now.
00:09:59There you see...
00:10:05It's a light flickering out in Scotland.
00:10:08Or in certain parts of Scotland.
00:10:10Tunk is the next one.
00:10:12Patrick, have a go at Tunk.
00:10:14Tunk was a tax...
00:10:17..that was levied on the Suffolk Welsh nation...
00:10:21..in the 13th and 14th centuries.
00:10:26On this matter, historians are not in full agreement.
00:10:32Some of them believe...
00:10:35..it was a tax on private land...
00:10:38..in the Denbighshire...
00:10:41..I bet you'd call it a county.
00:10:44But others believe it wasn't...
00:10:47..a confined Denbighshire.
00:10:49But on the whole...
00:10:51..in the 13th and 14th centuries...
00:10:54..Welsh tax on land.
00:10:57Yes. Now, Nigel Havers has a go.
00:11:00A tunk is a large, a vast wooden bowl...
00:11:05..that women in Cheshire used to use to do their washing in...
00:11:08..because they didn't have washing machines then.
00:11:11Unfortunately, their husbands used to use it as well...
00:11:14..because they used to fill it with hot boiling water...
00:11:17..and then dunk little dead pigs in.
00:11:20LAUGHTER
00:11:22So that they could pluck out the rather grisly hairs.
00:11:26So it's a vast wooden tub.
00:11:28What?
00:11:30Vast wooden tub, he says. Right.
00:11:32Anushka.
00:11:34No, it's not. It's a vast Malaysian village...
00:11:37..that's built up on poles over the rivers...
00:11:40..because there's not enough land in Malaya...
00:11:43..to actually have houses on the flat.
00:11:45And so they support these villages on poles.
00:11:48And you've got to come in your little rowboat up the pole...
00:11:51..and the whole thing is called a tunk.
00:11:53Yep.
00:11:55It's a washing tub in Cheshire, it once was.
00:11:59Kind of a tax, a Welsh tax, a long time ago.
00:12:02And a Malayan village on poles.
00:12:05Frank to choose.
00:12:09We're in total agreement this side.
00:12:12Got the faintest idea.
00:12:14LAUGHTER
00:12:16It's a very promising start.
00:12:1813th century Welsh tax, a long time ago.
00:12:21Tunks, for the memory.
00:12:24I'm not sure that you, in fact...
00:12:29..fillet pigs in warm water, do you?
00:12:33Don't look at me, sir.
00:12:35A grain of help.
00:12:37Or a Malaysian village on stilts.
00:12:40Well...
00:12:43..I'm going to go, I don't know how many are in agreement with me...
00:12:47..for Paddy's ridiculous land tax.
00:12:50The land tax of which Patrick did speak.
00:12:52Welsh, 13th century, true or bluff?
00:12:57I'm so glad for you, Frank.
00:12:59You're a winner.
00:13:01APPLAUSE
00:13:07A long time ago, but it's true,
00:13:09it was that sort of tax in that sort of part of the world,
00:13:12in that country, Wales.
00:13:14What a nice game.
00:13:16Stagnum, don't gloat, Frank.
00:13:18Stagnum is the next one, and Robert Powell kicks off.
00:13:22As I was saying when I was interrupted,
00:13:25if you were in Worcestershire...
00:13:27I thought you said it was Gloucestershire.
00:13:29No, Worcestershire. Oh, was it? I'm sorry.
00:13:31..listening to the weather forecast,
00:13:33and a man did come on and say there would be bright periods
00:13:36broken by twinkles of rain...
00:13:41..you could in fact verify this by having a look at your stagnum.
00:13:49A stagnum is...
00:13:53..an extremely important, nay, vital part of a barometer.
00:13:57It is the little bowl, cistern,
00:14:00at the bottom of a barometer which contains the mercury,
00:14:04which expands and contracts according to atmospheric pressure.
00:14:09OK. So, Diana, your turn.
00:14:12A stagnum is something which I would quite like to have myself.
00:14:17It is an earlier version of a lavender bag, if you like.
00:14:24It was a device for making clothes smell sweet,
00:14:28usually made of wood.
00:14:30In rich houses it would be made of precious aromatic wood,
00:14:35sandalwood, cedarwood,
00:14:37and sometimes it would be used as a false bottom in a chest.
00:14:43A box which would fit in the bottom of the chest.
00:14:46There would be holes perforated in it
00:14:48and there would be sweet herbs inside the box
00:14:51so that the aroma would perfume your linen and make you smell delightful.
00:14:55If you were less wealthy, it would not be made of aromatic wood,
00:14:58it would be made of a bit of old oak or something,
00:15:01but you'd have sweet herbs inside it.
00:15:04Righty-ho. Now, who's turn? Yes, it's Frank's. Your turn.
00:15:09The Romans didn't like having one of these.
00:15:12It was made of pottery or clay and it had a magistrate's cipher on it.
00:15:18And when you went to buy a pound of Brussels sprouts,
00:15:21whatever you bought in Rome,
00:15:23you'd say,
00:15:24''Can I have a pound of Brussels sprouts?''
00:15:26And the chap would say, ''Dexter, squire, Dexter.''
00:15:29And you had to show him...
00:15:31LAUGHTER
00:15:33By law, you had to show him this token
00:15:36because it meant that you were bankrupt.
00:15:38It was the thing that you had to show when you went to purchase anything.
00:15:42If you were bankrupt. Right.
00:15:44It was what you showed if you were bankrupt in Rome at that time,
00:15:48a sort of box containing aromatic herbs,
00:15:53the perfume, the box in which the linen was,
00:15:55and it's a vital part of a barometer.
00:15:58Nigel Hayward.
00:16:00Just a moment. We'll be with you in a moment.
00:16:02We're a quarter of an hour.
00:16:04Can I sing?
00:16:06This won't be one second.
00:16:10Do you like that?
00:16:12I don't... Wait a minute.
00:16:14He's out on his own. Why don't you just start?
00:16:16I'm going to start. I'm not madly keen on the sweet herbs
00:16:20because the word ''stagnum'' sounds like ''stagnant''
00:16:22and that sort of doesn't smell very sweet.
00:16:24But it could be a bluff, sir.
00:16:26Yes.
00:16:28I'm not that keen about this bankrupt business at all, either.
00:16:33A steward.
00:16:35Oh, dear.
00:16:37But I'm quite keen on this rain detector.
00:16:40I mean, let's get...
00:16:42I'm part of a barometer, I mean.
00:16:44Let's get this... Let's get this rain off our chest, shall we?
00:16:48I'm going to get the Worcestershire drizzling...
00:16:51The Worcestershire... The part of the barometer...
00:16:53That's it. Barometer.
00:16:55..whether you're travelling through Worcestershire, Gloucester or whatever.
00:16:57Robert Powell. True or bluff?
00:16:59Oh, what a shame.
00:17:01You'd better get a...
00:17:03APPLAUSE
00:17:06You've got your own contribution.
00:17:09You were trying to nag him out of it, I saw that.
00:17:11No, we weren't. Oh, you weren't?
00:17:13No, sir. Sounded like that to me.
00:17:152-1, yes, ''stagnum'' is a central part of the barometer.
00:17:19''Mariche'' is the next word.
00:17:22Nigel, off you go with it. Right.
00:17:24A mariche...
00:17:26I'll say that again.
00:17:28A mariche is a Caribbean cake.
00:17:33A little tiny Caribbean cake that is served at Caribbean tea parties.
00:17:39It's a little different from ordinary cake
00:17:41because they don't use the flour that we use,
00:17:44they use a special flour that they get from palm trees,
00:17:47so it's a nice light Caribbean cake.
00:17:50Mariche.
00:17:54It's just the light flour from palm trees that really fetched me there.
00:17:58Anoushka, your turn.
00:18:00Well, a mariche is a wild beast that roams the jungles of Cambodia,
00:18:05and it's reputed to have the head of a woman and the tail of a scorpion.
00:18:10And no-one's ever really seen it, but that's what it is.
00:18:13Well, how do you know if there's nobody seen it?
00:18:16It's reputed to have the head of a young woman and the tail of a scorpion.
00:18:20She's heard tell, she's heard tell. Patrick, your go.
00:18:23Mariche...
00:18:25It's a French word.
00:18:28It must be... There must be some copper lying around the Bay of Akachon.
00:18:34Policeman.
00:18:38I'll begin again.
00:18:40Mariche... Anyway.
00:18:44On the Bay of Akachon, near Bordeaux,
00:18:47all the oysters have got a very faint...
00:18:51kind of greenish tinge about them, not because they're bad.
00:18:57But because they're coloured by this lovely word, mariche.
00:19:02It must be some derivative from a policeman. Thank you for that.
00:19:09It seems to be some kind of green stuff that oozes out of policemen
00:19:13who are lying around in oysters.
00:19:16It's green anyway. That much we do know, and it colours oysters.
00:19:20It's a Caribbean cake, a small one, and a fabulous beast.
00:19:26So, Robert, your turn.
00:19:30I haven't the faintest idea. Good start.
00:19:33Not the faintest. I don't know.
00:19:36Can't help it.
00:19:44Because I think if you change your mind at the last minute,
00:19:48you've got a 33 and a third chance.
00:19:51Yes, I know.
00:19:53Yes, oysters.
00:19:55Um...
00:19:59No, thank you very much indeed.
00:20:01A bit of pleasure.
00:20:03What is the middle of this animal?
00:20:05If it has the head of a woman and the tail of a scorpion, what's its middle bit?
00:20:09They're not sure. It's unidentifiable.
00:20:12They can't quite get that together.
00:20:17And cakes.
00:20:19Let me eat cakes.
00:20:21The animal from Cambodia.
00:20:23The fabled beast, Anushka Hempel, spoke of that.
00:20:26Was she telling true or was it a bluff?
00:20:31Unidentifiable.
00:20:34You've got it!
00:20:36It's so hard!
00:20:39Jack!
00:20:43Got it all on his own. I think Frank was trying to tell him the same for the cake.
00:20:47Three, one.
00:20:49Well, the next word is oak.
00:20:51And, Diana, it's your turn.
00:20:55An oak is a cutler's word.
00:20:59A cutler, a person who deals in knives and scissors and such like,
00:21:04for the little groove that runs along the blunt side of a penknife blade.
00:21:13It's the ridge, the indentation, that allows you to open the blade.
00:21:19An oak.
00:21:22Never know. Frank, your turn.
00:21:25An oak is a kind...
00:21:28I suppose I can best describe it as saying it's a coal miner's cloakroom ticket.
00:21:33You see, when miners go underground,
00:21:36they have to empty their pockets of anything inflammable,
00:21:40such as cigarettes, tobacco, matches, lighters,
00:21:44and they're given a little numbered tag in exchange
00:21:48which is called an oak.
00:21:53Yep. Now, who comes next? Robert Powell.
00:21:57If I may be allowed to bring in a little arithmetical problem into this,
00:22:03if a pint of water weighs a pound and a quarter,
00:22:07might I ask you how much would two-thirds of a quart weigh?
00:22:11Six.
00:22:13The answer is two pounds, 11 ounces, approximately.
00:22:18And if you were Egyptian, you would have known that,
00:22:21because an oak is a unit of measurement of weight and capacity in Egypt,
00:22:28and it is two-thirds of a quart and two pounds, 11 ounces.
00:22:32Splendid. It's a sort of Egyptian measure.
00:22:35It's the groove on the blunt side of the penknife.
00:22:38You've often wondered what it was called.
00:22:40It's a receipt taken by a coal miner when he gives up the stuff
00:22:43that he mustn't take down the mine.
00:22:45So, Anoushka, your turn.
00:22:47Well, I think the whole thing, oak, sounds like a joke
00:22:51and it just really is very bamboozling,
00:22:54because I don't think it is... If you put your finger on the oak...
00:22:57Do you, Patrick? I don't know yet.
00:22:59OK.
00:23:04Sounds good, but I don't think it's quite right.
00:23:06Coal miner's cloakroom ticket tag thing sounds like a wonderful idea,
00:23:11and I think Frank might be right.
00:23:17And an Egyptian measurement,
00:23:19after having gotten the barometer thing before, sort of...
00:23:22Can I... Would you excuse me for half an hour?
00:23:25Yes. Do you have a...
00:23:27HE HUMS
00:23:29HE HUMS
00:23:35Diana, I think it might be the thing in the groove.
00:23:39She said it was the... The little thing that you put your finger on.
00:23:42The groove on the penknife. You're going to choose that one.
00:23:44It was Diana Quick who said it.
00:23:46Yes. True or bluff?
00:23:48It broke my heart.
00:23:53APPLAUSE
00:23:59He's called something, but he's not called that.
00:24:01Who gave the true definition of oak?
00:24:03I did.
00:24:05APPLAUSE
00:24:10Egyptian measure, both of weight and, as he said, capacity.
00:24:14Prolong or prolonge.
00:24:17Pronounce it as you will.
00:24:19Anoushka Hemphill, your turn.
00:24:21Oh, um...
00:24:23A prolonge is a sort of a flexible piece of whalebone
00:24:27that they used to carry around in the 16th century.
00:24:29A member of the family always had it in his pocket
00:24:32because it was a useful thing to be able to get out
00:24:35sort of fishbones and things out of one's throat
00:24:37if one sort of got stuck at a dinner party or something.
00:24:39It was flexible. It didn't pierce the larynx or the pharynx or anything.
00:24:42It just sort of went down because it was flexible.
00:24:44You could hoik it out.
00:24:46It's a prolonge.
00:24:48Not a pretty picture.
00:24:51Patrick's turn now.
00:24:53It's called prolonger.
00:24:55It's an old military term used by artillerymen
00:25:00saying now you're in charge of a huge cannon
00:25:04and the cannon's pointing at your own base.
00:25:07Ooh!
00:25:09And before anyone pulls the string on it,
00:25:12you've got to get...
00:25:14You've got to point it the other way towards the enemy, don't you?
00:25:18Right?
00:25:20So what you do, you get your prolonger at work,
00:25:23which is a system of hooks and ropes and rings and pulleys,
00:25:29and you prolong her round towards the enemy
00:25:33and away from your alleged friends at headquarters.
00:25:39That's what he says.
00:25:41Now, Nigel Havers.
00:25:43Oui, bien sûr.
00:25:45Le prolongue...
00:25:47LAUGHTER
00:25:49..was in fact...
00:25:52..was in fact French ministers,
00:25:55a council of French ministers in North America,
00:25:58Louisiana, to be exact,
00:26:00before the Americans came.
00:26:02When the Americans came, they all bunged them into prison
00:26:05because they were naughty, corrupt people.
00:26:071803, actually, was the date they put them all into prison.
00:26:11But it was a council of French ministers.
00:26:14Le prolongue...
00:26:17Very good. Very good.
00:26:19We get a lot of accents here. That was a good one.
00:26:22Council of ministers, rope for tucking guns round about,
00:26:26and flexible whalebone for sticking down your throat
00:26:29if something has lodged there quite a long time ago.
00:26:33Diana, your turn to choose.
00:26:35Do you think what I should do?
00:26:40Help. What do you think?
00:26:43Just zoom in.
00:26:45Now.
00:26:47Le prolonge...
00:26:49David.
00:26:51Non. Non? Pas pour moi.
00:26:53No, I don't think so.
00:26:55It's a little too feasible.
00:26:57LAUGHTER
00:26:59Now, the whalebone throat pick.
00:27:02I've never heard of such a thing in my life.
00:27:05It would be quite useful, I suppose.
00:27:07Prolongue, as in tongue, could it be?
00:27:12Fish bones don't go down that far, do they?
00:27:15They shouldn't. I think you eat a piece of bread, don't you,
00:27:18if you get a fish bone stuck in your throat,
00:27:20rather than try and hoist it out with a piece of whalebone.
00:27:23And as for a device for moving cannon,
00:27:27well, you're rather foolish
00:27:29if you have your cannons pointing at your own team anyway, aren't you?
00:27:34What do you think?
00:27:36It's a two-to-one chance, my dear.
00:27:39Yes, we think Paddy, but...
00:27:42Go.
00:27:44I'm going to go for the...
00:27:49Spins.
00:27:51The cannon, Patrick!
00:27:53He did say it was ropes that you did to turn it round
00:27:56if it was pointing the wrong way.
00:27:58True or bluff, Patrick?
00:28:02We always believe on this team that losing is fun.
00:28:05APPLAUSE
00:28:08Yes.
00:28:12A prolonger is exactly what he said it was.
00:28:15A system of ropes to turn guns round.
00:28:185-1, then we come to the word Mormar,
00:28:21and Frank Millar's going to tell you what it is.
00:28:24Have you thought of the...
00:28:27..the predicament of a Cornishman wanting to collect gulls' eggs?
00:28:32Because, you know, the gulls are halfway down a cliff,
00:28:35a very high cliff, peer over and vertigo.
00:28:38So what they do is they get some friends, or it could be family,
00:28:42and organise a mormar,
00:28:44which is a kind of simple wooden seat and some ropes and stuff,
00:28:49and they lower him down on one of those.
00:28:51He keeps kicking against the cliff as he goes down,
00:28:55and when he comes to a gull's nest,
00:28:57he says, gathering the gulls' eggs,
00:29:00gathering the gulls' eggs,
00:29:02haul on the mormar, and off he goes again.
00:29:07So, now, what does Robert Powell say?
00:29:10The Belgians believe that if you drink enough of this mormar,
00:29:15which is a drink made from white wine and herbs,
00:29:18it will dissolve your gallstones, if you have any.
00:29:23They also believe that if you drink enough of it
00:29:26and it doesn't dissolve your gallstones,
00:29:28you don't really care whether it has done or not.
00:29:31So it's very effective that way.
00:29:33It's a drink.
00:29:35Drink, right. Diana?
00:29:37A mormar is a nautical term.
00:29:41If you found yourself in a storm at sea
00:29:44and the bilge was full of water,
00:29:46your captain might well cry,
00:29:48all hands to the pumps,
00:29:50or all tars to the mormar.
00:29:54A mormar was a drainage pump from the bilge
00:30:00to get rid of water, to keep your boat afloat.
00:30:04Right-o. Belgian drink it is.
00:30:07Sort of hanging seat for going down the side of cliffs,
00:30:10pick up gulls' eggs,
00:30:12and it's a pipe that discharges the water
00:30:15from, I presume, the side of the ship.
00:30:17Patrick?
00:30:19I'm afraid that Diana has never been off land,
00:30:25off dry land, into a boat,
00:30:28because a kind of drainage into the bilge pump
00:30:32would not be required,
00:30:34because the bilge pump is what drains the water out of the boat.
00:30:38There's such ignorance in nautical matters there
00:30:41that I dismiss the idea.
00:30:43LAUGHTER
00:30:45You're still in the game, dear. Don't go away.
00:30:49All Belgians don't have gallstones to be dissolved, surely?
00:30:54It's just a...
00:30:56This is one hypothetical Belgian.
00:30:59Who's doing this?
00:31:01It almost sounds like Walloon.
00:31:04Well, it must be something to do with this wretched gully collection,
00:31:08or is it?
00:31:10Ah-ha! Good point there.
00:31:12I think it is, fearlessly,
00:31:14because losing is not a bad thing.
00:31:16It is, fearlessly, because losing is fun.
00:31:19LAUGHTER
00:31:21You're choosing, Patrick Lee,
00:31:23the seat that Frank said was lowered over the cliff
00:31:26to get gulls' eggs in Cornwall.
00:31:28To all the love, Frank.
00:31:30You may be having fun, but I'm having a rotten evening.
00:31:33APPLAUSE
00:31:38No, they don't do that. They may do that, but it's not called that.
00:31:42Who gave the two definition?
00:31:46It's not you.
00:31:50Oh, yes.
00:31:52APPLAUSE
00:31:54That's disgusting.
00:31:58I am ashamed of you, Patrick, and you an admiral and everything.
00:32:02We've only got time for a very, very quick one,
00:32:05but time we have if we speed on.
00:32:07Patrick, this one.
00:32:09You've got a tight boot on and a corn.
00:32:12Yep. You're in agony.
00:32:14I'm going to shove a little Siege in.
00:32:16It's a pad in order to ease your corn in a tight boot.
00:32:19Do nicely. Nigel, very quickly.
00:32:21Lying on the beach at Clacton or Brighton or wherever,
00:32:24and you listen very carefully and you hear...
00:32:26Siege. Siege.
00:32:28..because it's the sound of surf hitting the sand.
00:32:30Lovely. That'll do very nicely.
00:32:32Anoushka. Siege is a verb,
00:32:34which is the traditional vice of the British cook.
00:32:36They siege everything up.
00:32:38They make a mash and they make a horrible sort of...
00:32:40Out of cabbage and mashed potatoes and parsnips,
00:32:42they make a Siege, which tastes terrible.
00:32:44It's a mash. Right.
00:32:46It's a sort of mash of all these things she said.
00:32:48Very English.
00:32:50Sound of surf on the shore
00:32:52and it's a pad in a boot to stop it hurting you
00:32:54if you've got a bunion. Frank.
00:32:56Jacuzzi.
00:32:58Corn plaster paddy.
00:33:02True of love, Patrick.
00:33:04Let's have it, lad.
00:33:06At long last,
00:33:08you're out to lunch.
00:33:12Well done.
00:33:14Must have the true definition
00:33:16before everything stops.
00:33:18It's there.
00:33:20It's there!
00:33:26It's the sound of surf
00:33:28on the shore.
00:33:30Say that quickly, but I won't attempt it.
00:33:32Well, the score's standing at 6-2. It's quite plain.
00:33:34Frank's team has won.
00:33:36Well done.
00:33:42So, we'll be back with
00:33:44The Halt and the Lame from the Oxford English Dictionary
00:33:46next week, another batch of them.
00:33:48Until then, goodbye from Robert Powell.
00:33:54Nigel Havers.
00:34:02Thank you.
00:34:04Patrick Campbell.
00:34:06And goodbye.
00:34:12APPLAUSE
00:34:32APPLAUSE
00:34:34APPLAUSE
00:34:40Hello again.
00:34:42For my bluff, featuring the Admiral
00:34:44of the Scouse Boats,
00:34:46Patrick Campbell.
00:34:48APPLAUSE
00:34:52Good evening. We were...
00:34:54We were thunderstruck last week
00:34:56to, well, not to lose,
00:34:58but to be...
00:35:00beaten, I suppose.
00:35:02And I've asked back
00:35:04a beautiful little crazy
00:35:06mixed-up bundle, Australian,
00:35:08Russian and German,
00:35:10Anoushka Hempel.
00:35:12APPLAUSE
00:35:16And the gentleman jockey
00:35:18having fallen over four or five times
00:35:20getting in my way all the time,
00:35:22still the horseman riding by,
00:35:24Nigel Havers.
00:35:26APPLAUSE
00:35:32And old lofty,
00:35:34Frank Muir.
00:35:36APPLAUSE
00:35:40Of course, I've persuaded back
00:35:42from the Royal Shakespeare Company,
00:35:44Diana Quick.
00:35:46APPLAUSE
00:35:50And from the Bible and the 39 Steps,
00:35:52Robert Powell.
00:35:54APPLAUSE
00:35:58Bell rings like that.
00:36:00And we get the first word
00:36:02and it's twing.
00:36:04And Patrick and his team
00:36:06will define twing three different ways.
00:36:08Two of the definitions are no good,
00:36:10they're bogus. One is true,
00:36:12that's the one that Frank will go try and pick out.
00:36:14So off you go, Patrick.
00:36:16Twing.
00:36:18Twing!
00:36:20LAUGHTER
00:36:22As opposed to twang.
00:36:24If you've got a bow and arrow,
00:36:26one bow and one arrow,
00:36:28they fit all in,
00:36:30and you pull back the string,
00:36:32and you let the arrow go,
00:36:34and it goes twing!
00:36:38LAUGHTER
00:36:40You're over-breached.
00:36:42You've got your bowstring too tight.
00:36:44If your bowstring
00:36:46had proper condition,
00:36:48proper tension,
00:36:50it would have gone
00:36:52to twang,
00:36:54into the bull's eye.
00:36:56About twing.
00:36:58Well, well.
00:37:00Nigel Havers tells you
00:37:02a twing.
00:37:04It's a lovely word, isn't it?
00:37:06A twing is in parts of Staffordshire.
00:37:10A lady's work basket.
00:37:12What they do is
00:37:14they put all their sewing
00:37:16and their needles
00:37:18and their cotton and their thread
00:37:20into this little basket.
00:37:22It can be made of cane or
00:37:24whatever you like,
00:37:26and it's a twing. Sewing.
00:37:28Twing.
00:37:30That's it. That's what he says.
00:37:32Anoushka Hemphill now.
00:37:34Well, a twing is a small spider
00:37:36that has a body
00:37:38the size of a pinhead.
00:37:40It's fiery red,
00:37:42and it comes and sort of
00:37:44swarms in the autumn,
00:37:46and it gets into the bales of hay
00:37:48in the country,
00:37:50and it lives in there
00:37:52in the bales of hay, plus the spiders.
00:37:54The cattle often
00:37:56die.
00:37:58They can only die once.
00:38:04Well, twing,
00:38:06they say it means various things.
00:38:08It's the noise a bowstring makes
00:38:10if it's too taut.
00:38:12It's a work basket. I think Staffordshire
00:38:14is the place. And it's a spider.
00:38:16Frank Muir can choose.
00:38:18After all that
00:38:20rubbish with the bow,
00:38:22we don't think it's the bowstring
00:38:24that's tight.
00:38:28I don't understand.
00:38:30I have to.
00:38:34The sewing basket,
00:38:36because it's sewing twing,
00:38:38or the
00:38:40cow-killing
00:38:42spider.
00:38:44As one man,
00:38:46we choose
00:38:48the sewing basket.
00:38:50Sewing basket, work basket,
00:38:52Staffordshire. Nigel Haver said it.
00:38:54True or bluff?
00:39:00Well, we start off with the...
00:39:02APPLAUSE
00:39:08Who gave the true definition?
00:39:10Because that certainly wasn't it.
00:39:12Here it comes.
00:39:14There we see.
00:39:16APPLAUSE
00:39:22It's a little spider.
00:39:24Rather nasty little spider.
00:39:26What-ins is our next word.
00:39:28Frank Muir's going to tell you all about it.
00:39:30What a strange word that is.
00:39:32I wonder what dictionary Peter Moore
00:39:34uses to pick up...
00:39:36What do you think is the longest
00:39:38word we've ever had on this show?
00:39:40What do you think is the longest run
00:39:42of one team winning?
00:39:44What's the name of your tailor, Paddy?
00:39:46Just to avoid...
00:39:50What on earth am I going on about this for?
00:39:52Because what-ins
00:39:54is just that.
00:39:56What?
00:39:58Sorry, I won't go on.
00:40:00What-ins is a Victorian nickname
00:40:02for somebody who's tediously
00:40:04inquisitive, a child or a man.
00:40:06What, what, what all the time.
00:40:08I see, yes, yes.
00:40:10Right, off you go then.
00:40:12Robert Powell.
00:40:14What in heaven's name
00:40:16could be a cry
00:40:18that could be heard
00:40:20all over
00:40:2215th century England
00:40:24or 16th century,
00:40:26come to that, from bedroom windows
00:40:28at three o'clock in the morning
00:40:30as the medieval equivalent
00:40:32of the Tunnet Boys
00:40:34went past on their
00:40:361,000cc nags.
00:40:38And the noise of their hooves
00:40:40and their cobbles used to wake people up.
00:40:42So they stuck
00:40:44straw,
00:40:46dried hay,
00:40:48tired straw out on the streets
00:40:50to muffle the sound of the
00:40:52carriages and the horses.
00:40:54It's a farmer's word for tired straw.
00:40:56Did they?
00:40:58I mean, was it?
00:41:00Diana.
00:41:02What-ins is...
00:41:04Patrick.
00:41:06I'm listening now, you get on with it, I'm listening.
00:41:08It is a stuffing material.
00:41:10It's a material
00:41:12that you use to pad out clothes,
00:41:14not furniture.
00:41:16Bustles and shoulders
00:41:18and doublets and what have you.
00:41:20And it was usually cotton wool
00:41:22but it could be anything that...
00:41:24Yes, the mooch came.
00:41:26It could be anything
00:41:28that came to hand. Cotton wool,
00:41:30newspaper, horsehair,
00:41:32what you will.
00:41:34So, let's say,
00:41:36a kind of personal padding you stick about
00:41:38your person if you feel it necessary.
00:41:40A kind of nosy parker and
00:41:42sort of straw they put down
00:41:44in the streets
00:41:46to stop the noise. Patrick.
00:41:50There are certain rules in this game.
00:41:52There's only one rule in this game that's got to be observed.
00:41:54The true definition
00:41:56has got to be true.
00:42:00In the 15th century,
00:42:02or come to that, 16th century,
00:42:0617cc nags were not around.
00:42:08LAUGHTER
00:42:12It was a gallant bed, lads.
00:42:14Very sorry.
00:42:16Now...
00:42:18So we come to...
00:42:20Stuff...
00:42:22Wattons.
00:42:24Stuffing...
00:42:26It must be...
00:42:30The people that ask questions
00:42:32just like you do.
00:42:34I'm asking you a question. Is it right?
00:42:36Frank said that
00:42:38it was a nosy parker.
00:42:40True or bluff?
00:42:42How is this the answer?
00:42:44Who can tell?
00:42:46It's true!
00:42:48APPLAUSE
00:42:54Nothing to do with anything
00:42:56that Frank then said, but now
00:42:58we must learn who gave the true definition.
00:43:00One of the other two was the true one.
00:43:04Oh, they tease it out,
00:43:06but there it is.
00:43:08APPLAUSE
00:43:12It's anything you use for padding,
00:43:14put it anywhere you like.
00:43:16False calves, shoulders, all that.
00:43:18One all.
00:43:20And lutem is the next one.
00:43:22Nigel Havers to define it for you.
00:43:24May God go with you and all,
00:43:26please sit down and eat your dinner.
00:43:28Thank you.
00:43:30You see, what it is, a lutem is,
00:43:32it's very simple, really.
00:43:34It's a piece of monastic furniture.
00:43:36It's something on the top of a pulpit.
00:43:40It looks a bit like a witness box, really.
00:43:42And in monasteries you find
00:43:44that Brother Nigel will go up
00:43:46and read from the Bible
00:43:48while the other brothers
00:43:50are eating their lunch.
00:43:52It's a piece of monastic furniture.
00:43:56It's the pulpit, is it?
00:43:58Yes.
00:44:00So, Anoushka, your turn.
00:44:02A lutem is a marginal notation.
00:44:04It's something that you write
00:44:06in the margin of a manuscript
00:44:08when you want to correct it
00:44:10or extend something that's been written
00:44:12or make your notes in it.
00:44:14And those who are Latin scholars
00:44:16will know that lutem, plural,
00:44:18is not lutums, it's luta.
00:44:22Patrick's turn now.
00:44:24Here he comes.
00:44:26Lutem was a homemade compound
00:44:28made by medieval
00:44:30do-it-yourselfers.
00:44:36Medieval handymen
00:44:38finding a hole in the roof or even the wall.
00:44:42They make up the lutem.
00:44:44This was no small deal
00:44:46because, first of all,
00:44:48you've got to get a lot of mud together
00:44:50and then shave a horse to get some horse hair off it
00:44:54and then temporarily stun an ox to get some blood out of it.
00:44:58Put it all together
00:45:00and bang it in the hole.
00:45:02It sets as hard as cement
00:45:04and there you've got
00:45:06a dry little medieval nest
00:45:08with your lutem.
00:45:12Album.
00:45:14So it's a sinister sounding
00:45:16sort of plaster
00:45:18that you plugged walls with a long time ago.
00:45:20Part of a pulpit
00:45:22and comments written in the margin.
00:45:24Robert.
00:45:28I've no idea.
00:45:30Good.
00:45:32I can't bluff this one out.
00:45:34Marginal writing.
00:45:36I actually did Latin for a long time
00:45:38and I can't bring to mind
00:45:40the word lutem.
00:45:42I must admit.
00:45:44Mind you, that doesn't mean a thing.
00:45:46Anyway.
00:45:48Monastic furniture.
00:45:50I don't know.
00:45:54I think it's something
00:45:56to stuff in the wall.
00:45:58You said that, didn't you, Patrick?
00:46:00Yes, Patrick said it. True or bluff?
00:46:06You can stuff it in your wall.
00:46:08APPLAUSE
00:46:16Homemade plaster.
00:46:18Long time ago.
00:46:202-1 and we go on to
00:46:22Shoal, I suppose.
00:46:24Shoal.
00:46:26Shoal.
00:46:28Or shoal.
00:46:30Doesn't really matter.
00:46:32In fact, the word
00:46:34correctly belongs with the
00:46:36gypsies and tinkers.
00:46:38Because it is a Romani word
00:46:40and it means
00:46:42a place of
00:46:44rest, a halting place
00:46:46for a gypsy encampment.
00:46:48Rather like a Romani
00:46:50butlin's where you can get water
00:46:52and a place for the horses.
00:46:54OK. And now, Diana, quick.
00:46:56A shoal
00:46:58is a sort of
00:47:00scarecrow.
00:47:02Except it's not meant to
00:47:04shoo away crows
00:47:06but to shoo away
00:47:08stags.
00:47:10Stags.
00:47:12And it's a fairly
00:47:14ramshackle arrangement of
00:47:16pieces of paper and rags and what have you
00:47:18which you place strategically
00:47:20to stop a stag running in a certain
00:47:22direction. If there's a field you don't want
00:47:24it to go in.
00:47:26What a silly plan.
00:47:28Never know.
00:47:30Might work. Frank?
00:47:32Shoal. Don't see
00:47:34much of them these days.
00:47:36Except occasionally on the bottom of
00:47:38fly fishermen's waders.
00:47:40It's a hobnail.
00:47:42Hobnails have all
00:47:44sorts of designs and a shoal is one
00:47:46which was a bit like a
00:47:48not very much, but a bit like a
00:47:50thumbtack, a drawing pin
00:47:52but it had a
00:47:54pyramid shape to it
00:47:56which sort of stopped
00:47:58corrymen from slipping down shale
00:48:00and things like that. Shoal.
00:48:02No, kind of a hobnail.
00:48:04It's a scarecrow for scaring
00:48:06stags and it's
00:48:08kind of a halt, a watering place.
00:48:10Nigel?
00:48:12I'm so confident. Good.
00:48:14I don't need to consult anyone really. Good.
00:48:16Straight in there.
00:48:18I've never seen a gypsy
00:48:20at Butlin's.
00:48:22I don't think
00:48:24that's really on at all.
00:48:26I'm not madly keen on shoe
00:48:28weighing, what was it,
00:48:30deers or something? Stags.
00:48:32Stags. I don't think
00:48:34it's sort of, I don't like that very much.
00:48:36I'm quite keen on this
00:48:38sort of boot, this thing on the end of a boot.
00:48:42This sort of nodule.
00:48:44It stops you
00:48:46slipping. I think that's
00:48:48rather good, that. I like that.
00:48:50Well, that's a funny thing to like, but you're
00:48:52going to choose that. That's what Frank said.
00:48:54Now, let's see whether the lad chose
00:48:56well. True or bluff? Now, let me see.
00:48:58I'm not displeased.
00:49:00It's true, isn't it?
00:49:02Oh! No.
00:49:04Very lucky.
00:49:06Very lucky.
00:49:08He liked it, but it wasn't true.
00:49:10Who gave the true definition now?
00:49:12Here it comes. One, two, three, go.
00:49:14Oh, not again. Yes,
00:49:16indeed he did.
00:49:18APPLAUSE
00:49:20The Scarecrow
00:49:22that scares stags.
00:49:24What else would you expect it to be?
00:49:26Now, at 3-1
00:49:28we have Marisma.
00:49:30Anoushka, your turn.
00:49:32Ah. Well,
00:49:34the Marisma is
00:49:36a boggy area at the bottom
00:49:38of a river
00:49:40called the Guadalquivir
00:49:42in southern Spain. Hang on.
00:49:44Hang on, spelling.
00:49:46LAUGHTER
00:49:48And for all those people who are nature
00:49:50freaks and things, they'll know that there's a
00:49:52most wonderful black stilted bird
00:49:54called Black-winged stilt
00:49:56that lives in this rather boggy marsh area.
00:49:58Stilton bird? Stilted.
00:50:00Long legs, on stilts.
00:50:02Black bird.
00:50:04A great cheese bird.
00:50:06LAUGHTER
00:50:08It's not the bird, it's the marsh, is it?
00:50:10I'm sorry, the bird lives in the marsh
00:50:12and the marsh is called the Marisma.
00:50:14For my notes. I carefully file all these
00:50:16afterwards. Patrick.
00:50:18Marisma
00:50:20is a nervous
00:50:22affliction
00:50:24that causes the eye
00:50:26involuntarily
00:50:28to wink. Wait.
00:50:30LAUGHTER
00:50:34If you've got Marisma
00:50:36you want to keep out of the underground
00:50:38if it's available.
00:50:40You'd be sitting there
00:50:42between Gloucester Road
00:50:44and whoever the next stop is
00:50:46and you get a little
00:50:48tack of Marisma
00:50:52and you might make a new friend
00:50:54or get
00:50:56a thick ear.
00:50:58LAUGHTER
00:51:00Right. Now, Nigel
00:51:02has a go. Well, if you were a draftsman
00:51:04you'd be very proud
00:51:06to have a Marisma. Now, can I borrow your pencil?
00:51:08Certainly, yes. Thank you very much.
00:51:10Because what it is, you see, it's a machine that draws
00:51:12parallel lines very accurately
00:51:14and you slip two pencils into this machine
00:51:16and then you can
00:51:18draw in any direction
00:51:20parallel lines that will always
00:51:22be the same distance between each other.
00:51:24Good Lord!
00:51:26That's what you learn every day, isn't it?
00:51:28Clever, isn't it? That's all it is.
00:51:30It's very useful.
00:51:32Drawing parallel lines is what it's useful for,
00:51:34this draftsman's instrument, he says.
00:51:36Then it's something, an island,
00:51:38Quiver, and it's a
00:51:40Spanish marsh near
00:51:42the Guadalquivir.
00:51:44Diana, your turn.
00:51:46I wonder what Nigel wants to draw
00:51:48parallel lines for. Railway lines?
00:51:50LAUGHTER
00:51:52I don't want to draw a railway line.
00:51:54Yes, quite. No, no.
00:51:56No, that doesn't appeal to me at all.
00:51:58No Marisma for parallel lines.
00:52:00Now, I'm not clear what Anoushka
00:52:02was saying. Is she talking about the boggy area
00:52:04or is she talking about... She's talking about the boggy area.
00:52:06That's the way I got it. The Marisma.
00:52:08The Marisma.
00:52:10Patrick's is so improbable.
00:52:12I'm going for that.
00:52:14You're choosing the Quiver of the island. I'm going for the wink.
00:52:16The involuntary wink.
00:52:18Patrick, own up. True or bluff?
00:52:20LAUGHTER
00:52:22APPLAUSE
00:52:24I'm going for the wink.
00:52:28Now, we need to know the true
00:52:30definition of Marisma.
00:52:32One of you's got it, I know.
00:52:34Well, I'm
00:52:36close.
00:52:38APPLAUSE
00:52:42It's the Spanish marsh.
00:52:44Three-two.
00:52:46Tahona's the next one, and Diana,
00:52:48quick, define it.
00:52:50A tahona is a hairdo.
00:52:54Now, if I were to
00:52:56put my hair up here,
00:52:58and brush it a lot,
00:53:00and make a parting
00:53:02anywhere I like,
00:53:04and make all this into a big knot on the top
00:53:06here,
00:53:08I would be thought to be
00:53:10the bee's knees in Polynesia.
00:53:12The what?
00:53:14The bee's knees.
00:53:16This is a tahona, this hairdo.
00:53:18Well, I mean, they would do it with more style.
00:53:20But it is a Polynesian hairdo,
00:53:22rather like an afro,
00:53:24which men
00:53:26and women both affect.
00:53:28Well, well.
00:53:30I've never seen a woman
00:53:32take that sort of risk on this show.
00:53:34LAUGHTER
00:53:38Tahona
00:53:40is music
00:53:42specially written
00:53:44for the Welsh harp.
00:53:46Now,
00:53:48how will
00:53:50Ap Griffith,
00:53:52a Welsh...
00:53:54How will Ap Griffith,
00:53:56a noted writer of music
00:53:58for the Welsh harp,
00:54:00for those who enjoy music
00:54:02for the Welsh harp,
00:54:04has written 300 of these tahonas?
00:54:06And often on a silly night
00:54:08in the Welsh mountains, when the Eisteddfod's
00:54:10going, you can hear a tahona
00:54:12being plucked.
00:54:14Plucked?
00:54:16Well, it's Welsh harp music.
00:54:18They have a hen.
00:54:20The hens can't play them.
00:54:22They haven't got the music.
00:54:24They would if they could,
00:54:26but they can't, as you rightly say.
00:54:28Robert, your turn.
00:54:30Imagine, if you will, a mule
00:54:32walking round in circles.
00:54:34Don't laugh.
00:54:36It's serious.
00:54:38There's a mule walking round in circles.
00:54:40Attached to this mule is a pole.
00:54:42And attached to the other end of the pole
00:54:44is a large mill wheel,
00:54:46walking round on a smaller mill wheel.
00:54:48And there is somebody
00:54:50shoving large lumps of
00:54:54ore, silver
00:54:56stuff under it, to make it into
00:54:58smaller lumps of silver.
00:55:00And the man would be
00:55:02an American.
00:55:04And he'd be probably a long time ago,
00:55:06because it's a primitive device for breaking down
00:55:08silver ore in America.
00:55:12Welsh harp music it is.
00:55:14Polynesian hairdo.
00:55:16And a sort of
00:55:18grinder or crusher for
00:55:20reducing ore to whatever
00:55:22the load is.
00:55:24Anoushta.
00:55:26Not quite ready yet, do you mind?
00:55:28I'm getting some advice.
00:55:34You're out on your own, darling.
00:55:36Oh, that's really mean.
00:55:38Get on with it.
00:55:40Right, Mrs.
00:55:42Oh, she's doing it too, that's marvellous.
00:55:44The Tehuna.
00:55:46I've probably got it all wrong.
00:55:48There's a place in New Zealand called Tehuna Nui.
00:55:50What about that one?
00:55:52Hang on, I'm homing in here, you see.
00:55:54Where all the ladies do actually
00:55:56wear their hair like that, with whale bones
00:55:58and pralongs and things through them,
00:56:00one thing and another.
00:56:02Tehuna's such a funny word
00:56:04for Welsh
00:56:06harp concerto, or whatever it is.
00:56:08And the mule going round in circles
00:56:10didn't appeal to me. I think it's just
00:56:12purely the hairdo.
00:56:14You think that all that work that Diana put into
00:56:16the hairdo is because it was true?
00:56:18Well, true or bluff, Diana?
00:56:20No!
00:56:22APPLAUSE
00:56:24Well done, Diana.
00:56:26Well done.
00:56:28It was all Stanislavski was that.
00:56:30Who gave the true definition?
00:56:32Yes, you've got it there,
00:56:34I'm sure. Yes, yes.
00:56:36APPLAUSE
00:56:40It's the little sort of millstone,
00:56:42as it were,
00:56:44for grinding ore.
00:56:46And we have Unica,
00:56:48or I suppose you pronounce it any which way.
00:56:50Patrick.
00:56:52Anika.
00:56:54We're back to Polish,
00:56:56but not mules this time.
00:56:58We get back to Polish
00:57:00infantrymen,
00:57:02who are not
00:57:04walking around in circles,
00:57:06but they're
00:57:08defending Poland
00:57:10against the invading hordes
00:57:12of Mongolians
00:57:1413th century.
00:57:16And they are not
00:57:18breaking down silver into smaller
00:57:20pieces of silver. I don't believe that was true
00:57:22anyway.
00:57:24It was, it was.
00:57:26But these lads, these Anikas,
00:57:28they were armed with
00:57:30pikes that for
00:57:32long-distance work they had the
00:57:34old-fashioned sling.
00:57:36A rock and a pouch
00:57:38and a piece of string,
00:57:40and bong.
00:57:42And they nearly always missed.
00:57:44LAUGHTER
00:57:46At least they were putting up a good fight.
00:57:48Of greatest fortune.
00:57:50But it was the chaps, was it, or the sling?
00:57:52No, the Polish infantry.
00:57:54Oh, the chaps.
00:57:56Yes, that's right.
00:57:58I got that bit down.
00:58:00Right, now, Nigel, what about you?
00:58:02Unica is actually
00:58:04heavy clay
00:58:06that comes from North America.
00:58:08And it was used to make
00:58:10very cheap china.
00:58:12And believe it or not,
00:58:14the first people to export it
00:58:16were some Red Indians.
00:58:18They made a lot of money too.
00:58:20Which is good for them.
00:58:22Very good indeed.
00:58:24That's what it is.
00:58:26Clay, gooey.
00:58:28Make a lot of money. Anushka?
00:58:30Well, unica is a
00:58:32verb, and to know what unica means
00:58:34you've got to know what aca means.
00:58:36And aca means
00:58:38harnessing something together, putting the yoke
00:58:40on the oxen, and then the oxen taking
00:58:42the cart away.
00:58:44So to un-aca something
00:58:46is to, the reversal of aca.
00:58:48LAUGHTER
00:58:52I see, it means to un-yoke
00:58:54something, yes, to un-yoke something.
00:58:56A kind of clay,
00:58:58and it's a Polish soldier.
00:59:00Infantryman.
00:59:08One asks oneself,
00:59:10does one not, one asks oneself
00:59:12what is a word
00:59:14for sling-carrying
00:59:16Polish soldiers
00:59:18fighting Mongolians
00:59:20doing in the Oxford English Dictionary?
00:59:22LAUGHTER
00:59:24It's in there, it's called un-aca.
00:59:27Oh, dear.
00:59:29And for that matter,
00:59:31what is heavy clay
00:59:33mined by Red Indians
00:59:35and exported?
00:59:37Why would anybody buy cheap clay
00:59:39from Indians?
00:59:41They'd have to import.
00:59:43It's ice-cold reading.
00:59:45Very good. I don't know.
00:59:47Un-aca is to remove,
00:59:49to reverse a harness.
00:59:51Well, quite clearly,
00:59:53a non-British word,
00:59:55a non-British word,
00:59:57aca, presumably.
00:59:59So, clearly, all signs point
01:00:01that it's to un-harness...
01:00:03To un-yoke or un-harness,
01:00:05that was anushka, true, or love.
01:00:07Oh, no.
01:00:09I'm a-boobed.
01:00:13Yes.
01:00:15APPLAUSE
01:00:21We need the true definition now.
01:00:23Get it.
01:00:25It's neither of them. It's there.
01:00:27APPLAUSE
01:00:33It's all that clay and the Indians.
01:00:35And Miss Quick got it, too, and I wouldn't listen.
01:00:37And if all those words
01:00:39weren't in the dictionary, Frank,
01:00:41we'd all be out of a job, so don't knock it.
01:00:43Let's have another word, Quick.
01:00:45Skeet is the next one.
01:00:47Four, three. All hinges on this,
01:00:49or a lot does, anyway. Frank.
01:00:53Skeet is a bird
01:00:55of ill omen,
01:00:57which puts the wind up
01:00:59the Shetland Islanders.
01:01:01It is supposed... It's mythical.
01:01:03It's supposed to
01:01:05look not at all
01:01:07unlike a hooded crow.
01:01:09And it is said
01:01:11never to sleep.
01:01:13Well, there aren't any trees there,
01:01:15so probably...
01:01:17Mythical bird of ill omen, Shetland Isles.
01:01:19OK, OK.
01:01:21Now, Robert Powell's turn.
01:01:23In Glasgow, the skeeter's
01:01:25waltz is not a melody by Strauss.
01:01:27LAUGHTER
01:01:31Because a skeeter
01:01:33is a pit pocket.
01:01:35It's somebody who takes things.
01:01:37So skeet, in fact, is a Scottish word
01:01:39meaning
01:01:41manually adroit,
01:01:43nimble-fingered.
01:01:45Skeet.
01:01:47OK. Diana.
01:01:49Just as you have a pride
01:01:51of lions, or a clan
01:01:53of Campbells,
01:01:55you have a skeet of
01:01:57hermits.
01:01:59Of vermin?
01:02:01No, not vermin, Patrick.
01:02:03Hermits. Oh, hermits.
01:02:05In the Greek Orthodox Church,
01:02:07if you wish to go into retreat,
01:02:09you would not go off
01:02:11entirely by yourself. You would go
01:02:13into a community of anchorites,
01:02:15each living separately
01:02:17or alone, but in a community,
01:02:19and that community would be called a skeet.
01:02:21So, what it is,
01:02:23it's a group noun for hermits,
01:02:25anchorites. It's a bird of ill omen,
01:02:27and it means rather good with your hands,
01:02:29dexterous.
01:02:31Patrick.
01:02:33It's hard to think of any nation thinking
01:02:35this way. Very quickly, if you will.
01:02:37It's absolutely trivial about anchorites.
01:02:39After all that
01:02:41Henry Irving acting on tour,
01:02:43it's what you said.
01:02:45Who's you in this case?
01:02:47Oh, you're not? Oh, I shouldn't have asked.
01:02:49It's always lofty when he says you.
01:02:51After all that noise.
01:02:53Rather quickly, please.
01:02:55No, it isn't.
01:02:57APPLAUSE
01:02:59Now,
01:03:01may I have the true definition
01:03:03before we draw skunks? We'll have to have that.
01:03:05Ah, there it is. There it is.
01:03:07APPLAUSE
01:03:09APPLAUSE
01:03:13It's a group of hermits, and on that
01:03:15the game is decided
01:03:17beyond a fair adventure. Five, three...
01:03:19Let's have three more words. Frank has won again.
01:03:21Yes?
01:03:23APPLAUSE
01:03:29More words next week
01:03:31that didn't quite catch on.
01:03:33Until then, goodbye from Nigel Havers.
01:03:35APPLAUSE
01:03:37Give him a big round of applause.
01:03:39APPLAUSE
01:03:43Diane, thank you.
01:03:45Thank you.
01:03:47Good night.
01:03:49Thank you.
01:03:51And goodbye.
01:03:53APPLAUSE
01:04:07Thank you.