Mums.on.Strike.S02E01

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Mums.on.Strike.S02E01

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00:00In these enlightened times, we might like to think housework is a shared endeavour.
00:08You could literally eat dinner off these toilet seats. I mean, literally.
00:12But in Britain, on average, one member of each household does two-thirds of the chores.
00:20That's it. Literally, I do everything.
00:23What time have you got to be back, Sean? No major rush.
00:26He doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he doesn't hoover, he doesn't make the bed.
00:30Oh, for God's sake, are they taking the mick?
00:33I'm not going to do it anymore.
00:38Those carrying the heaviest load...
00:40Right, that's it. I'm off.
00:43...have had enough.
00:45Who said that she's on strike? Who's on strike?
00:48Oh, gosh. I actually can't believe you're doing this.
00:50Am I? Oh, my God.
00:53We'll get to see how those left behind...
00:57I don't really know where to begin.
00:59...cope...
01:05I'm out of stock.
01:07There's no food. I'm off on huge cooking.
01:09Why are you not on stand? There's nothing.
01:11...and finally negotiate a deal to come home.
01:14I wanted you to stand in my shoes, but you didn't do that.
01:18No, I will try anything if it means that you come home.
01:27What are we having? You're having yesterday's dinner.
01:30Oh, I forgot to do your potatoes.
01:34Can you take him a bit?
01:36Meet the Ogden family.
01:38What role do you each play in the family?
01:40Mine's easy, breadwinner.
01:43Mine's easy, skivvy.
01:45What does that mean? Housemaid.
01:47David is an operations manager.
01:49Wife, Sarah, is a part-time dog groomer.
01:52Their 16-year-old son, Alfie, and the girls, Lila and Lola.
01:57I met David through my dog grooming.
01:59I used to go and groom his mum's dogs in the kitchen on a little table.
02:03She had two Shih Tzus.
02:05Good girl, good girl.
02:07David had come in a couple of times and I'd clocked him and thought,
02:10oh, he's a bit of all right.
02:12She's punching.
02:15Punch you, knobhead.
02:18After 17 years of marriage, Sarah wants David to help with the chores.
02:23David's attitude to housework is a woman's work.
02:28Simple as that.
02:30Typically, I do everything in the house.
02:33David moves occasionally the odd cup and tells you about it.
02:39I think Sarah probably does the lion's share.
02:43I do the washing, the ironing, the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, the windows.
02:48It's not onerous, it's not back-breaking, they're not digging roads, is she?
02:52I do the blinds, I do the skirting boards, I do the sofa, I do under the cushions.
02:58It's just an endless task.
03:00I clean the dog muck up three times a day.
03:02They are bleeding dogs.
03:04They're family dogs.
03:06No, I didn't want them.
03:10Come on, girls.
03:13This is not the most glamorous job in the world, but bulldogs poo about 20 times a day.
03:22The boys have never, ever, ever cleaned up dog poo.
03:25And even they take the mickey out of me because the dogs just look at me doing it like I'm their slave as well.
03:31I do wish that they could just take both dogs out for me.
03:34It would lessen the chores.
03:36Walking a dog with a pink tail.
03:39Oh.
03:42More poo to clear up.
03:44These rolls are old-fashioned.
03:46It's going back to the dark ages.
03:48You still think I'm a housewife.
03:51Well, so what do you think you are?
03:53You think I've got my pinny on at home waiting for you to come home, which I do, with your tea.
03:58I'm not that girl. I don't want to be a housewife, David.
04:02Fat-arse husband watching TV and nagging wife.
04:05That's what we've become.
04:07You put your own gravy on.
04:09I couldn't find the gravy boat, so you'll just have to use that.
04:14Are you taking the piss?
04:16It's gravy. I couldn't find the gravy boat. Do you want me to do it?
04:19You do it.
04:21He'll never compliment me on his meal.
04:25The Yorkshires could have done with about 15 minutes less, but...
04:29You always have to criticise what I haven't done, not what I've done.
04:33Who was it?
04:34Yeah, I think they got the Middlesbrough.
04:36They're both football mad. They're both sport...
04:39In fact, if it doesn't have balls...
04:42I'll rephrase that.
04:43I'm not so sure you've got a fixture this weekend, do you know?
04:46They're just football obsessed, and I hate it.
04:49Monday night, football trading.
04:51Tuesday night, City are at home against Brentford.
04:55Wednesday, I've just noticed, is Champions League.
04:57Thursday night is Europa League.
04:59And then Friday night, Chelsea are home to Spurs in the Premier League.
05:04It's just a football-dominated household.
05:07It drives me insane.
05:10I've not missed a home game for 30 years.
05:13I have put off going to weddings and various things to attend a City home game.
05:21If David had to choose between me and City, it'd be no contest.
05:27It'd be City.
05:29Hey, you all right, love?
05:32City tonight? Come on, the blues.
05:35Sometimes I do think, is it just a diversion from spending time with me?
05:39Is it nearly ready?
05:40Yes, it's nearly at five minutes.
05:42Okey-dokey, thank you.
05:43I mentally pack my bags in my kitchen every night,
05:48and I have done for the last few years.
05:51I tell my mum every night when I pour her a glass of wine.
05:54Sarah's world collapsed three years ago
05:57after the death of her mum, Pat.
06:00Probably right at the start of her dementia, we moved her in with us.
06:04We had a big silver bed in the front room for her,
06:07and she lived with us for five years until she sadly passed away.
06:12I cared for her till the day she died.
06:14Yeah, she has a candle and she has a wine.
06:17She always had a wine at six o'clock.
06:19That's when we used to say we opened the bar.
06:21So she always has a wine at six o'clock.
06:24Sunderland have sent the manager.
06:26Sarah has found herself at a crossroads, and she's had enough.
06:30Right, come on, Alfie.
06:32We're in a bleeding rush here.
06:35Right, enjoy yourself, love.
06:37I'm sure I'll have a good night, yeah.
06:39I hope they win.
06:40See you later.
06:42I've had enough.
06:44I'm sick of it.
06:4720 miles away, meet the Eckersleys.
06:51So do you want another drink, baby?
06:53Mm-hm, please.
06:54Shall we start prepping dinner?
06:55Let's do that.
06:56I think Dylan's home.
06:59Gaynor and Paul met 30 years ago in the gym.
07:02Gaynor was in a class doing her aerobics class.
07:07She caught my eye, and I thought, wow, she looks great.
07:10It was almost like I actually did meet my prince charming.
07:14Physically, I was 100% attracted to him.
07:19And, yeah, he had the best muscles in the gym.
07:23I'm not sure I did.
07:24Oh, I've got a photograph.
07:2613 years later, they had twins, Devon and Dylan, now 16.
07:31Dad is calm, collective, very kind.
07:37Mum is noisy and...
07:41Annoying.
07:42Yeah.
07:44Gaynor is annoying.
07:45She's naturally annoying,
07:46but it's the kind of annoyance that you miss when it's not there.
07:50So I do understand them,
07:55because it's like this little bird picking at you all the time,
07:59but as soon as it's flown away, then you miss it.
08:02I would describe her as a very good relationship.
08:08Gaynor's fiery, and I'm not. I'm very laid back.
08:12So our personalities are not the same, but it works.
08:16It's just fun. We've always laughed.
08:21Paul is a property developer, and Gaynor owns her own hair salon.
08:26I've come from a counsellor's day, and I started hairdressing at 13
08:30and decided that I wanted to be my own boss.
08:33I am really proud of myself.
08:35I have worked my arse off for everything I've got.
08:39As a result of their hard work, the couple now live in their dream home.
08:44We found this house, and it was our forever house.
08:48And yeah, we love it.
08:50Who does what in the house? What percentage share is it?
08:53I would think it is 80% me.
08:57I do majority, if not most, of the housework.
09:02Never ending!
09:04The cooking, I would say that's at least 50-50.
09:07It's not necessary, Paul, that I would point my finger at
09:11that doesn't help around the house.
09:13It is our boys. I would like them to do a little bit more.
09:17Slowly but surely, I am realising that I can't be on top of it
09:21like I used to be, because I've always done it.
09:24I feel guilty that, oh, my God, you know,
09:26I'm recognising that I am getting a bit older.
09:28I do need the help, and it may be coming across like I am moaning.
09:32But 16-year-old boys don't seem to want to tidy up.
09:36Just tip this laundry basket over for me.
09:41I would like support from Paul,
09:44but if it comes from a male, they'll understand that.
09:50Thank you. Oh, that's great. Thanks, darling.
09:54I'm trying to install with my boys to leave it as you find it,
09:59and that will be forever a life skill.
10:03Thank you.
10:07These are the jobs that I think maybe boys could help me with
10:12on a daily basis.
10:15But husband Paul doesn't agree.
10:18We didn't have kids to, I don't know,
10:22have, like, slave labour around the house or whatever.
10:26We had them to be a family and enjoy each other's company and have fun.
10:32Somebody help me, please.
10:35Devin!
10:38Devin!
10:40Come and help me, please. It's never ending.
10:45I am trying to do all the ironing, the washing, the cleaning,
10:49the constant bathrooms with three guys in the house.
10:54Tell me how much you do around the house.
10:56I think I do enough. She usually just says that.
10:59She will do the cleaning.
11:01I have a carry-on and let them, you know, take me for granted.
11:08I'm not putting up with it anymore. Enough is enough.
11:13Back in Oldham, Sarah is taking action.
11:17I don't want to live this life anymore that I've been living.
11:20Cleaning, cooking, wiping everybody's arse from.
11:23I don't want to do it. I want to be me.
11:26She's going on strike and she's not told her family.
11:30I don't feel guilty. I don't feel guilty at all.
11:33I've threatened it and threatened it and threatened it, and he just laughs.
11:39I'm gone, and if nothing changes, who knows?
11:43I might not even come back.
11:49That's it. I'm off. I'm off.
11:54Back in Bolton, Gaynor's also on the run.
11:58I do need help and support because I am just running on empty.
12:03So I've decided I can't take no more.
12:06I'm going on strike.
12:09I'm going on strike, David.
12:11She should have been a fucking jerk. She's got some neck on her.
12:14All they're doing is destroying the place.
12:17We do not depend on Gaynor at all.
12:20Honestly, I feel like smashing that screen.
12:31It's 5pm.
12:33Hello?
12:34Hello?
12:35And David has returned home from work.
12:39Thanks, Mum.
12:41I don't know.
12:42Eh?
12:43I don't know.
12:45Has she left you something to eat or something like that?
12:47No.
12:48Eh?
12:49No?
12:50No.
12:52She hasn't.
12:54But Sarah isn't home.
12:56She's checking in to a hotel.
13:01Back in a minute!
13:04Oh, my God, I am going to love this.
13:08Back home, Dave and Alfie have received a message.
13:12I'm absolutely fed up with football dominating our life.
13:15I'm fed up with your old-fashioned views.
13:18I'm fed up with cooking, washing, cleaning and ironing for everybody 24-7.
13:22So with that said, I'm going on strike, David.
13:27On fucking strike?
13:30What, so I go to work, I pay the bills,
13:32I come home, cook my tea, do my cleaning, do the ironing, clean the house?
13:36I don't think so.
13:37I might as well get my own flat.
13:41How do you guys feel?
13:43I think it's a piss time.
13:48She should have been a fucking giraffe.
13:50She's got some dick on her.
13:52Open it again and see if something else jumps out.
13:54Oh, no.
13:55You can have an apple with an egg and a yoghurt if you want.
13:58That's about getting limitations in here.
14:00Or you can have it with some pickled onions and all.
14:04There's nothing to make. What are you making?
14:06I'm attempting to make an omelette.
14:09You think I'm having a fucking omelette for my tea?
14:11You've got another thing coming.
14:13Watch you don't burn it.
14:15When's the last time you actually had to cook dinner for your son?
14:21I can't remember.
14:25I can't remember.
14:26I don't even know if these two have been fed because they seem to be mooching.
14:30Have you been fed?
14:38What are you doing?
14:40Oh, shit.
14:43After a disastrous dinner...
14:45Hang on, hang on, hang on.
14:47..David faces more domestic challenges.
14:56That's disgusting.
14:58What is?
14:59Yeah, you can clean that one.
15:01What?
15:02Don't tell me she's done a shit in there.
15:05And it stinks.
15:06It's the stinkiest thing ever.
15:08For fuck's sake, Lila, get out!
15:11Don't be mean.
15:12Get out!
15:13Fucking thing.
15:15There's shit on the floor.
15:18Look at the fucking state of this.
15:24I don't even know what you're meant to clean it up with.
15:29In Bolton, Paul also comes home to an unusually quiet house.
15:35I don't know where Gaynor is.
15:36She's not coming up on the app, which could mean she's lost data.
15:41Oh, she could be at the dentist.
15:43But Gaynor's not at the dentist.
15:46Thank you.
15:47She's also checked into a hotel and is having second thoughts.
15:51I feel like I've, erm, deserted my family.
15:55My head's just all over the show.
15:59Gaynor sends Paul and the boys a message.
16:04Can we just watch this, Dylan?
16:05And can you stop, Devon, doing what you're doing?
16:08Come and sit next to me, please.
16:11This is me, on strike.
16:14Left you all to it.
16:15I know it's quite extreme.
16:17Come and sit down.
16:18The decision hasn't been taken lightly.
16:20I feel that this is the last straw
16:26for me to have my voice heard,
16:29for you to take me seriously,
16:31to stop taking me for granted.
16:33And, Paul, I'm asking you to support me,
16:36asking for help for the boys,
16:38for them to stop laughing.
16:39I am on strike, and I just feel that I'm the only one doing all the chores.
16:44No, I...
16:47I don't know.
16:48Yes, the boys could do more.
16:50I wish she would have said,
16:51this is not what you're doing or that's not what you're doing.
16:54Erm...
16:56Boys, what do you think?
16:57Erm, it's rubbish.
16:59It's happened in the past, and then she just comes home and does it.
17:11After a night away from their families,
17:13the two strikers are getting together.
17:20Oh, my God, look at you!
17:23How are you?
17:24Oh, really well.
17:25Lovely to meet you.
17:26You too.
17:27You look amazing.
17:28So do you.
17:29How have you been feeling since you've gone on the strike?
17:32I'm never taken seriously.
17:33I want to be taken seriously.
17:35I want them to step up and pull the finger out of their arse.
17:39I feel like Cinderella. Yeah.
17:41And I've got a brush there. Yeah.
17:43I've got my bloody marigolds on. Yeah, me too.
17:45But my head's like... My head's in the bin.
17:48I'm at that stage of my life where I'm really menopausal.
17:51Me too. I mean, I'm on HRT.
17:53Me too. And I've never felt better.
17:55Oh! We're like sisters.
17:57We are HRT sisters. Fantastic.
17:59Oh, this is so amazing. Yeah.
18:01Honestly, I'm so glad to meet you.
18:03Oh, yeah, me too.
18:05Back in Oldham, and with David off to work,
18:08Alfie is left with a very important job.
18:11So would you normally walk both dogs a lot?
18:14No.
18:15I refuse to be seen on the street with a pink lead.
18:19With a pink lead and a pink dog.
18:23But, um...
18:25I've not got much choice today.
18:27Let's go.
18:30Let's go, squad.
18:33That's right.
18:36Back in Bolton, Paul is struggling
18:39to see what chores there are for the boys to do.
18:43There's nothing he's doing that they, you know...
18:48I couldn't even give them a job.
18:50They're already done, housework.
18:52Emptied the dishwasher and put all the pots away.
18:56That's housework.
18:57Everything I've used, we've put into the dishwasher.
19:00That's housework.
19:02Easy, five minutes, done.
19:04I just don't know what the hard work is.
19:10But today's not about housework for me.
19:13But, you know, my actual job.
19:18How clean's your room right now?
19:21Um...
19:22Besides not making my bed, clean.
19:25Oh, not there.
19:27This needs to go in the wash.
19:29Who's going to wash it?
19:31Um...
19:33Basically, my hat and this.
19:36Whenever this gets pulled to the top,
19:39a magic fairy comes and it gets cleaned.
19:44Unbeknown to their families...
19:46I go to work, she does the stuff at home.
19:48That's it.
19:49That's her job.
19:51I'm sorry, if she don't like it, then get a different job.
19:55Cheeky git.
19:57Yeah, that is actually what I'm up against at home.
20:00Sarah and Gaynor are secretly spying on what's going on back home.
20:05How do you guys feel?
20:06She should have been a fucking giraffe.
20:08She's got some neck on her.
20:09Is he having a laugh?
20:11Is he having a laugh?
20:13I'm standing up for myself.
20:14Old-fashioned sod.
20:16What are you doing?
20:18Oh, shit.
20:19Oh!
20:21She's burnt it.
20:22I've been at work all pissing day.
20:25They've bulged up an omelette.
20:27They've burnt my best pan.
20:28It's not a cheap pan, it's a Max's.
20:30You know your nice pans.
20:32That omelette's probably cost me 35 quid.
20:34Oh, out of order.
20:35Now it's Gaynor's turn to peek inside the house.
20:38Karl, I'm asking you to support me.
20:41Asking for help for the boys.
20:42For him to stop laughing.
20:44It is the last resort.
20:45And I just feel that I'm the only one doing all the chores.
20:49Yeah, she's very dramatic.
20:51Nothing surprises me with her.
20:52Never has.
20:53I'm not going to get upset about it.
20:56We do not depend on Gaynor at all.
20:59Bollocks.
21:01Out of order.
21:02Honestly.
21:04I don't know where to start.
21:05Do you think they're a bit of a tag team?
21:07It's them and you.
21:08Oh, absolutely.
21:09Paul was the leader and the instigator,
21:11and the boys just followed Dad.
21:13See what I mean?
21:14This is proof.
21:15Yeah.
21:16Honestly, I feel like smashing that screen.
21:18At a local pub,
21:19David's found a solution to another night without his wife's home cooking.
21:25It's like the bloody king and I.
21:27Where's the meal for Alfie?
21:29Has he fed the dogs?
21:31He's sat in the pub like the big I am having a fillet steak.
21:36I mean, I do want a date night.
21:37I do want to feel special.
21:39I do want to feel sexy and loved.
21:41We used to be like a pair of stilettos,
21:44and now we're a comfy pair of slippers.
21:48How are you, Paul? You all right, man?
21:49I'm all right.
21:50Yeah, good, are you?
21:51Where's Sarah?
21:52She's gone on strike.
21:54Gone on strike?
21:55Exactly.
21:57She's at home all day long.
21:59What else is she going to do?
22:01I think I'm just giving her things to do.
22:03And the best part is,
22:04she's not even that good at most of them.
22:07She's got a dishwasher.
22:08She's got a washing machine.
22:09She's got a dryer.
22:10She's got an Hoover.
22:12Some women want everything, don't they?
22:14I think he's taking the piss out of you.
22:16Seeing this now, I'm thinking to myself,
22:19do I frigging want to go back?
22:21Honestly.
22:22Good.
22:23I'm thinking to myself, do I want to go back?
22:26Trot on, David.
22:28Trot on.
22:29Hey, good girl.
22:30Oh, she's here.
22:31Oh, jeez.
22:32Violet, like you've been in the bleeding mud.
22:35Shh.
22:36Look at this.
22:37Oh, Jesus Christ.
22:39Violet, look at what you've done.
22:42Look at that.
22:43Look at the state of that.
22:45I'm not doing it tonight.
22:46I'm too tired tonight.
22:48I'm not doing anything tonight.
22:50I don't need to do anything.
22:51I don't need to do a wash.
22:52I don't need anything for tomorrow.
22:54I suppose I'll have to think about that again on Sunday
22:57before work on Monday.
22:59I've not seen one bit of cleaning, cooking, vaccing.
23:04All they're doing is destroying the place.
23:08I noticed, I don't know if it was last night
23:11or perhaps this morning,
23:13a picture of Pat is not on the kitchen window.
23:17There's a massive hole in Sarah's life
23:19that she's never recovered from.
23:21And I do think she's searching for that.
23:23I think the thing with Sarah is often just trying to give herself
23:27and keep her mind active, keep herself busy
23:29because when she's not busy, she'll be thinking
23:32and she'll be thinking things that perhaps upset her.
23:36But we need to just talk that through and see how we get past it.
23:40He's right. He is right.
23:42I think I do need to do some soul searching
23:45and even now that I've been on my own in my room,
23:48I do find myself thinking of my mum.
23:51So he is right on that.
23:53I do miss my mum a lot.
23:57Paul's on a mission to prove a point.
23:59We're going to just do a quick test.
24:01Timer.
24:02Ready?
24:03Three, two, one, go.
24:05Go.
24:06Fast, fast, fast, fast.
24:08Put the stuff in the washer.
24:10It's all going in there.
24:12Two weeks' worth of work things.
24:14Yeah, mum didn't wash it for some reason last week.
24:18Done?
24:19Ta-da!
24:20Oh, one minute, ten seconds.
24:22So it's one minute, ten seconds' worth of...
24:24Oh, my God.
24:26..one hour and six minutes.
24:28Job done.
24:30Good work.
24:31I just don't see where the issue is.
24:34I felt it was a bit patronising, if I'm honest, Sarah.
24:37I do, but you were belittling.
24:39It was, it was like, you know, this is easy-peasy,
24:42and he was saying it in front of the boys again.
24:46I guess something we haven't spoken about but that your mum has to ask
24:50is that she has been going through the menopause.
24:53Yeah, she uses that excuse a lot.
24:55Yeah.
24:56Tons of hot sweats.
24:57Yeah.
24:58Hot sweats.
24:59I don't understand what a cold sweat is, but...
25:01It doesn't really make sense to me.
25:03The boys are just thinking that you're just a hot and cold sweaty mess.
25:07They don't know why we're screaming and shouting and up and down.
25:10But don't you think that our fellas should then say,
25:13right, the needle...
25:14Let's help your mum.
25:15Yeah.
25:16Let's do a little bit more.
25:17Yeah.
25:18But he's ridiculing insects.
25:20And I'm not, I'm not liking that at all.
25:22I'm livid.
25:23I'm pissed off.
25:25And I'm tired.
25:26I'm tired.
25:27I'm so tired.
25:28I've gone away for a week and I'm still bleeding tired.
25:31And the menopause...
25:36Yeah, it...
25:38It did change her.
25:40It's had some kind of...
25:43..changes inside as well that maybe she should talk about more than me.
25:50I prefer not to talk about those kind of things.
25:53But mentally, yeah, she's different.
25:56She's different.
25:57I couldn't really put a finger on it
26:00without sounding like I was not being nice.
26:04Oh, what do you make of that?
26:07It's just, I just don't think,
26:09I don't think they understand what I'm going through.
26:11I'm silently struggling.
26:13The boys definitely don't understand what's going on.
26:17Hello? Hi, David.
26:18Can I come in? I know I'm a bit out of the blue.
26:20So, I do have a list here from Gaynor.
26:23Just give me the list.
26:24If you're going to get them on the fence all the time,
26:27we're not going to get anywhere, Paul.
26:37After secretly observing life back home...
26:40That's her job.
26:41Cheeky git.
26:43Oh, my God.
26:44..Sarah and Gaynor want to make sure their husbands
26:47fully understand what changes need to be made
26:50before they're willing to return home.
26:52Honestly, I feel like smashing that screen.
26:57So they're sending in their most trusted allies
27:00to deliver their demands,
27:02in the form of Sarah's BFF, Darren,
27:05who comes armed with a list of cleaning jobs.
27:08Hello? Hi, David.
27:10Can I come in? I know I'm a bit out of the blue.
27:12Come on in. All right, pal.
27:13..and Gaynor's sister, Krista.
27:15Oh, how are you?
27:17I'm good, I'm good. Good, good, good.
27:21Clean up any mess in the kitchen.
27:23100% Sarah's.
27:25Let dogs have a wee, clean and nip her up in the garden.
27:28No.
27:29Pop up her cushions,
27:30and then you give them a chop in the middle.
27:32It's quite stylish at the moment.
27:34I've done loads of this this weekend already,
27:36if I'm being honest, Darren.
27:37Do you want me to see that that meets the boss's expectations?
27:40Oh, right, quality assurance, is it?
27:42Feed it back that things are being done properly
27:44while she's not here in her absence.
27:46It's going to have a gander. Yes.
27:49I've been chatting to your mum
27:50and she's not been happy with a few things.
27:52So I do have a list here from Gaynor.
27:55Cleaning the bathroom.
27:57Paul, teach them to cook.
27:59It's like she's offloading jobs everywhere.
28:01I'm going to carry on, if that's all right.
28:03And you've voiced your opinion.
28:05I am free to disagree.
28:07Yeah, that's fine.
28:10I'm just repeating this.
28:12Just give me the list.
28:15Paul, teach the boys how to cook.
28:17Doing the washing.
28:19I'm still not in with that one.
28:21Cleaning the bathroom.
28:22That's already on the list of things that they should be doing.
28:25She wants the boys to do more.
28:27She doesn't want them to sit and wait on hand and foot
28:30and bring a feed of grapes, Paul.
28:32Don't bother looking at that pad.
28:34This is what she's observed.
28:36There's no information there
28:38that these guys can take away and think,
28:40oh, that's what she wants.
28:41She just wants us to do more,
28:43which actually means she wants to do less.
28:45But that's how you're seeing it.
28:46I should be quite offended,
28:47because you're actually saying that our Gaynor's just a sweet FA.
28:50She needs help managing her time.
28:54If you're going to get them on the fence all the time,
28:56we're not going to get anywhere, Paul.
28:59I'm not into making them do stuff like that.
29:01I just don't feel that's fair.
29:03Why? Why don't you think they need to do that?
29:06Because we had children, we didn't have staff.
29:10You know, we're not here to make our lives easier.
29:15It might be, hopefully, when we're old
29:17and need them to be there for us,
29:19then they'll do things for us.
29:21But I just don't agree with getting them to do every little thing.
29:28Oh, grotesque. That stinks.
29:30And there's one just there, David, as well.
29:32Oh, thanks, darling.
29:33We've got another two poops.
29:34I thought you said that you'd done it, David.
29:36You know, there's still quite a few knocking around.
29:38Well, she's a shit machine, isn't she?
29:40All sorted.
29:41Just try and keep on top of it, David.
29:43Like, maybe in the morning or after work, you know,
29:46the blinds are on the list.
29:48Darren, do you know how many rooms have got these blinds?
29:52Every room?
29:53Yeah.
29:54Yeah, they look great, David, now.
29:56So, David, I think it would probably be best turning this off.
29:59What's up with it being on in the background?
30:01No, I think because you'll get distracted.
30:03Did you do this couch?
30:04Eh?
30:05Why would anybody take the cushions off this etty?
30:08Crumbs, you know, bits of food.
30:11There's a ladybird there.
30:13Is it dead?
30:14I think it's dead.
30:15Yeah, it's not going to fly that.
30:17That's looking good, David.
30:19So, you're getting the knack of that now.
30:22Yeah, man's job's never done.
30:24Happy wife, happy life.
30:27It's all good.
30:29In Bolton, Krista changes tack.
30:33So, a bit more respectful to her knees, emotions and the menopause.
30:37I agree with that.
30:39Thank you.
30:40What's your understanding of the menopause in a woman?
30:42A lot of complaining.
30:44If you want to understand the way your mum's feeling right now,
30:47it's good to educate yourself on the menopause,
30:50because it's really, really hard.
30:52And I can't tell you how hard it is.
30:54Fatigue is a massive problem.
30:56If I was to suggest to you,
30:58the only thing that really needs to do
31:00is just to have a bit more compassion, a bit more empathy.
31:06It's something that, actually, a woman can't control.
31:09It's also really distressing.
31:13It is a big thing.
31:16Bye-bye, then. Bye-bye.
31:18I love you guys, OK?
31:20See you later. See you now.
31:23Erm, I think I was up against it.
31:25Like, Paul was on the defensive a lot.
31:29No, no, no, Paul had a lot to say.
31:31But we went over and over and round it,
31:33and I hope that you all get something out of this.
31:43In Oldham, Alfie takes the lead in the domestic shake-up.
31:47I've left quite a bit behind.
31:49I've left quite a significant amount of shoes at the front door,
31:52so I guess it's my responsibility to tidy them up.
31:59Doing it for my mum to recognise that I am trying to change my ways a bit
32:05and pull my weight.
32:08And I want her to come home and see a change, I guess.
32:12Alfie, two minutes.
32:15You've seen the list, haven't you?
32:17Yeah, cos you do.
32:19It ain't going to be nicked, sunshine.
32:21Who would think things cooked to all this?
32:23Yeah, but...
32:25Mum would normally make tea.
32:27So is that you saying you could make tea some nights?
32:30I will do, yeah.
32:32I don't mind unloading the dishwasher or...
32:35I don't mind unloading the dishwasher.
32:37I don't mind unloading the dishwasher.
32:39I don't mind unloading the dishwasher or...
32:42Just little things are just chipping in, aren't they?
32:45Well, not one night not watching football.
32:47So he could make a thing of a Thursday night saying,
32:50I'll do your tea and we'll sit and watch a movie or something.
32:55And I'm hoping that, you know,
32:57just a couple of little small changes might make a big difference.
33:01My dad went to work, my mum never did a day's work.
33:05Well, she did because she ran the house.
33:08That was the job that she did.
33:10She was, you know, the housewife.
33:12But I've just got used to that Sarah.
33:14I've just come accustomed to it.
33:16Check if you've got your school uniform.
33:24Meanwhile, on the other side of town...
33:27Oh, my God, I love this.
33:29What's this doing?
33:30Lifting.
33:31Lifting?!
33:32Yeah.
33:33You doing me boobs?
33:35Wife Sarah is also thinking about the future.
33:39I've been thinking a lot about my mum.
33:42And I think it was true what David said,
33:45that I do try to keep myself busy.
33:48And it's only since I've slowed down
33:50and really started to think, have I grieved properly?
33:54Probably not.
33:56I have thought of quite a few changes
33:58that I want to make when I go back home.
34:01I think David will be quite shocked by it, to be honest,
34:04and, yeah.
34:10Back in Bolton,
34:11yesterday's visit from sister-in-law Krista
34:14has given Paul food for thought.
34:16Right, slice some of your mozzarella up.
34:19And as per Gaynor's list, he's teaching the twins how to cook.
34:23Pop the rice into this big pan.
34:26Salt, pepper, bit of butter.
34:30Put some of that in the chicken
34:32and then we'll trickle some over the top afterwards.
34:35You are basically done now once the chicken comes out of the oven.
34:39What are you doing?
34:40I'm putting dribbles on, like Dad said.
34:43Mmm.
34:44And finally, Paul discusses how Gaynor is feeling.
34:49One of the reasons your mum's decided to go on strike
34:53is that she's dealing with a lot of internal emotions.
34:59Yeah.
35:00And going through a stage in life that she's finding difficult
35:04and difficult to kind of plan and deal and ask you to do things
35:10and then you turn around and give her back chat
35:14or don't do the things that she's asked you to do.
35:18Mm-hm.
35:19And what we'd really like to see is a change in that kind of attitude.
35:24You're 16 years old now.
35:26You want to be able to treat a lady, especially your mother, properly.
35:31We're going to do everything in our power to please Mum.
35:35Hope that's serious.
35:38Yes.
35:39A serious answer and genuine.
35:40Yes.
35:43I am Gordon Ramsay.
35:48Back in Oldham, David winds down another night away from wife Sarah.
35:53A bit prepared, get a shirt ready for tomorrow.
35:56Alfie's shirt ready.
35:59It's like rules reverse, isn't it?
36:02Compromise is a funny thing, isn't it?
36:04It's like...
36:05I mean, some people see it as winning and losing, don't they?
36:08But it's not about winning and losing, but...
36:14..we've just got to help each other out.
36:18My shirt done, Alfie's shirt done.
36:23Knackered.
36:24Where the bleeding hell have you been for the last four or five days?
36:27Not even spoke to you, don't answer your phone or nothing.
36:29I was at the end of my tether.
36:31It's paramount that I'm heard.
36:33This voice of mine has been trodden on for too long.
36:37They're used to you saying that.
36:40So it becomes the norm and it's not fair.
36:42Because you should never get into that state.
36:54After a week apart, Sarah is about to finally meet husband David.
37:00I'm quite nervous about meeting David this morning, to be honest with you.
37:04I'm a bit more nervous than I was on my wedding day.
37:07I want my terms to be 50-50, that's all I'm asking.
37:13How have you been?
37:15I'm knackered.
37:17Feel my pain?
37:19No, no, no, no.
37:21Doing all your stuff and still going to work full time.
37:24Where the bleeding hell have you been for the last four or five days?
37:27Not even spoke to you, don't answer your phone or nothing.
37:29It was a protest.
37:31I'm not going to lie, David.
37:33I was at the end of my tether.
37:35Listen, I'm not...
37:36I understand the football thing.
37:38Are you going to knock it on the head a bit?
37:42I think I'm quite happy to maybe not watch as much on TV when I'm at home.
37:49I've had it up to here with this housewife thing.
37:53None of the jobs are complicated, are they?
37:55But I accept they're time-consuming.
37:57It must be tedious, it must be boring.
38:00But when your mum was living with us...
38:03I know.
38:05..you'd do a lot of these jobs and you'd probably have music on in the background
38:10or you'd be laughing and joking, having banter with your mum whilst you were doing it.
38:14And I don't know if you're thinking about your mum whilst you're doing them jobs
38:17of that, like, I would have been having a laugh and a joke with my mum doing it.
38:21I have thought about this a lot, David, since I've been away.
38:24And I have come to a bit of an epiphany.
38:29I've applied for a job in the old people's home round the corner.
38:35And while I'm at work, you can watch a bit of your football,
38:39but we'll do the chores together.
38:42I think it's a great idea.
38:43I think it's something that you're good at, something that you enjoy.
38:46I'm sure we could make it work.
38:48What do you think about us having, like, a date night once or twice a month?
38:51Let's go on a little walk or maybe then stop and have some lunch somewhere or...
38:56Maybe it's a bit of a press-the-reset button, isn't it?
39:00Thank you.
39:03It's also time for Gaynor to meet husband Paul.
39:08It's paramount that I'm heard.
39:10This voice of mine has been trodden on for too long.
39:17What do you feel you've got out of your little time away, then?
39:20Well, I've had a lot of time to think.
39:22I do feel, especially with the boys, that you're not taking it serious when I ask for help.
39:27I just need you to be supportive when I'm asking for that help.
39:32If you're saying this is all down to your emotions,
39:38our aim will be to try and make you feel better.
39:43But at the end of the day, we can't always read your emotions.
39:47There's no point saying you want them to do more.
39:49It doesn't mean anything to a 16-year-old boy.
39:51It's, like, more of what they need to know, what you want them to do more of.
39:55OK.
39:56And start off with...
39:58But it's got to come from both of us.
40:00Unless I scream and shout and make a little bit of drama.
40:05Oh, there she is, drama queen.
40:07And you even, you echo that yourself.
40:09So they're used to you saying that.
40:12So it becomes the norm, and it's not fair.
40:15Because you should never get into that state.
40:17I need you to have my corner, I need you to have my back.
40:20We'll have a team meeting and, you know, touch on those points.
40:31Hello.
40:32Have you had your meeting with Paul?
40:34Yeah, yeah.
40:35There was a little bit of tension now and again,
40:38but I just stood my ground, basically.
40:40Making him aware that he's got to...
40:42Stick to...
40:43Be accountable and...
40:45Not allowing the boys to be dismissive with me.
40:48I think he just needs reinforcing.
40:51Oh.
40:52And sticking to it.
40:54Well, I met David and...
40:56He just said, I'm absolutely knackered, which I was...
40:59That pleased me no end.
41:01I think he is going to...
41:03Meet me halfway.
41:05But overall, it was positive.
41:07I don't know, I felt like we were just dating again.
41:11It's pricked his ears up a bit, and I think he thinks...
41:13Do you know what? I have got a good in ear.
41:15All in all, I think I fell in love with him a little bit more today.
41:21In the evening, Sarah decides to end her strike and go home.
41:27As nice as this has been, I've just missed everybody.
41:30Packing to go home feels a lot better than it did packing to leave home.
41:34Let's just say that.
41:39To welcome their mum back, the twins are keen to show off their new cooking skills.
41:44The boys are cooking their mother salmon and prawn risotto.
41:51Hello, everybody.
41:53Mum's here, we've got a visitor.
41:56Oh, it smells nice.
41:59Is it?
42:00Yeah.
42:01I've been cooking.
42:02The house has felt empty without you, darling.
42:05Well, I appreciate all the effort, I really do.
42:07This looks yummy.
42:08Wow.
42:09Now, Dylan made this.
42:10Oh, my God.
42:11And it's very awesome.
42:12That is so...
42:14Oh, it's salmon.
42:16I'm really proud of you both.
42:17It's lovely to come home to this.
42:19You've never got to do that again.
42:21Do what?
42:22Welcome home.
42:23Cheers.
42:24Aw, thank you, darling.
42:25Leave us without permission.
42:28Totally leave us without permission, all right.
42:33The most positive thing is Gaynor's back where she belongs.
42:37And, yeah, I've just never wanted to do anything like that again.
42:42As far as I'm concerned, Gaynor's just gone away for a week.
42:47But you've got to remember why I've been away.
42:50It never went into my mind.
42:53The reason why I went on strike, that's been highlighted.
42:58You understand why I went away.
43:00We've had this discussion.
43:01I'm kind of getting a feeling like, well, it was not a problem.
43:04You going on strike, don't understand that.
43:06Is that what you're saying?
43:08Yeah.
43:09Why?
43:10We'll see how it goes.
43:11But we can't see how it goes.
43:13It's got to be.
43:15It's got to change.
43:16Otherwise, there was no point in me going.
43:18I asked you, would you do it?
43:20I asked you, would you do it?
43:21And you said, yeah, but you didn't know.
43:23The cleaning show.
43:24You knew it was a cleaning show?
43:26Yeah.
43:27It's turned out not to be.
43:28Exactly.
43:29It's evolved, because that's how I'm feeling.
43:31I'm struggling.
43:32Mm-hmm.
43:33And we're going to sort everything out, and it will be better.
43:38Better for you and your emotions, hopefully.
43:42Mm-hmm.
43:43Thank you.
43:45I appreciate that.
43:47Welcome home.
43:49Lovely to be home.
43:55I'm going to make her one of her favourites.
43:58She likes her caesar sours.
44:00Sun-dried tomatoes.
44:02Croutons.
44:13Oh, I love it, that picture!
44:17Hello!
44:19How are you?
44:21Right, anyway, come on, sit your son down.
44:23What about this here?
44:24Oh, my God!
44:27That is the best caesar salad I have ever seen in my life.
44:32Get in my belly.
44:34But one of the rules was, to go forward,
44:37was to try and sit down with an evening
44:41and have this little bit of time together.
44:44Cheers.
44:45Cheers.
44:46Amazing.
44:47Do you want any parmesan?
44:48Yes, please.
44:50I think the strike's been successful.
44:52How about you, David?
44:54Is it nice to have the family unit back together?
44:58I could have done another fortnight, but, um...
45:01No, of course, it's...
45:03Wouldn't have it any other way, would we, love?
45:10Absolutely filled to the brim.
45:13Sitting there watching his TV, typical.
45:16I am going on strike.
45:19Wow.
45:20Jesus Christ.
45:22How would you rate Sarah's painting?
45:24A five out of ten.
45:25Oh, my... Are you flipping having a joke?
45:28I feel so drained.
45:30Welcome to my world, darling.