Emily James: Late to the Party | movie | 2024 | Official Clip
Standup comedian Emily James hits the stage in Denver, Colorado covering everything from being a mom with two boys to th | dG1fd2lWV3FjUzRISDA
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Okay, so I am slightly attracted to my kids' favorite action figures.
00:10Okay, have you seen these guys? They're hot! Yes, I see a head shake.
00:15She's being very subtle about it, but they're hot!
00:18Like, these are the Magic Mike live guys I'm talking about!
00:23And last Christmas, my husband caught me, like, just, you know,
00:30I was just, like, gently caressing Iron Man's hard abs.
00:42And he's like, Emily, what are you doing? Nothing! Nothing!
00:46Just shh, go to bed. Go to bed. Santa's working.
00:50Santa's working. Okay, just shh. I will see you later, okay?
00:55They're hot! And it just got me thinking about my Barbie.
00:59You know, like, growing up, all she had was Ken.
01:02And they slept in separate beds. Ugh!
01:06Like, how do I know that she didn't like it rough, you know?
01:09This whole time, she could have been getting manhandled by Hulk.
01:20Patriotic with Captain America, you know?
01:24Or Wonder Woman, like, what? Who cares, you know?
01:29She could have been getting thawed all over the mansion.
01:33No.
01:35Do you know that there's even one called Hot Guy?
01:38Yeah, well, I mean, it turns out it's Hawkeye, but, like, Hot Guy, Hawkeye?
01:42Who gives a shit?
01:44They could have been getting down in her shiny convertible Corvette, you know?
01:48Ken would have been perfectly content watching, you know?
01:54It's just that kind of guy, you know?
01:57He would have loved it.
02:06I walked in on my son asking Siri if he could see her vagina.
02:13And I have never stuck up for a talking lady robot thing in my life.
02:19You better believe I was like, you leave her alone.
02:23Those are her private parts.
02:26You leave her alone.
02:28Right, ladies?
02:30Yeah, whatever this is.
02:34But then, like, later, I was alone.
02:39And curiosity, like, kind of got the best of me.
02:47I was like, okay, Siri, it's just us girls.
02:53Can I see your vagina?
02:59Can I see your vagina?
03:03China is a country in Asia.
03:06No, no, no, no.
03:10Can I see your vagina?
03:13Virginia is 2,300 miles.
03:16No, no, no, what's another name?
03:18Can I see your puss, your cooch, your hoo-ha, your vagina, you know?
03:23And all of a sudden, in walks my kid.
03:29Mama, you leave her alone.
03:40And in that moment, I was so proud.
03:44And I just looked at him, and I was like, I love you.
03:48And guess what he said back?
03:51I know!