A Man join the search for a missing teenage girl she used to nanny HD ( Comedy, Drama )
A Man join the search for a missing teenage girl she used to nanny HD ( Comedy, Drama )
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00:00:00No foul play is suspected in the teen's disappearance and the family is concerned for her well-being.
00:00:28So if you have any information...
00:00:29What is it?
00:00:30It's Brooke.
00:00:31Can you hear again?
00:00:32You can call the local police or the number you see on the screen.
00:00:33Why are you sopping on the couch?
00:00:34The news of Brooke's disappearance was widely circulated on social media.
00:00:35Perhaps because of last year's case involving police sergeants...
00:00:36Okay, we'll just mute that and then...
00:00:37How long has she been missing?
00:00:38You just said four days.
00:00:39Well, I think you need to tell somebody that you saw her.
00:00:40Like Jill?
00:00:41No, like the fucking police.
00:00:42Even though she's been missing for four days.
00:00:43I don't know.
00:00:44I don't know.
00:00:45I don't know.
00:00:46I don't know.
00:00:47I don't know.
00:00:48I don't know.
00:00:49I don't know.
00:00:50I don't know.
00:00:51I don't know.
00:00:52I don't know.
00:00:53Why don't you go get dressed and I can call.
00:00:54They'll probably put me on hold for a while anyway, because, you know, bureaucracy and
00:00:55all that?
00:00:56Yeah, right.
00:00:57Red tape.
00:00:58B, yeah, go lay down.
00:00:59Okay.
00:01:00Go.
00:01:01Thanks.
00:01:02I'm gonna go lie down.
00:01:03I'm so sorry about the interruption of the party.
00:01:15It's okay.
00:01:19I'm gonna go lie down in my towel.
00:01:30Good job for washing your body!
00:01:33Thank you.
00:01:49Do you have a tip of mine?
00:01:53Yeah, this is about Brooke Renner.
00:01:55My roommate saw her like three days ago.
00:02:00When would she have to come in?
00:02:13Coming!
00:02:20Hold on!
00:02:22Jeez.
00:02:33Oh my God, what the fuck?
00:02:34I know you're in there, you fuck, come out!
00:02:36Oh my God, Brooke, did you just throw that through my window?
00:02:39And did you just call me a fuck?
00:02:41You need to leave!
00:02:42Where the fuck am I supposed to go, Sam?
00:02:44To your aunt's house, and stop swearing, it doesn't sound cool.
00:02:46Okay, I can do whatever I want.
00:02:48Yes, I know, Brooke, you've made that abundantly clear.
00:02:52How did you get downtown?
00:02:53I took the bus.
00:02:54You on the bus?
00:02:56I got a ride, alright?
00:02:58Please leave, and take an Uber home.
00:03:00I just want to know why you lied.
00:03:04I'm not doing this with you today.
00:03:07Fuck you, Sam, fuck you!
00:03:10Are you drunk?
00:03:19Fuck.
00:03:26Dinner's ready!
00:03:49Thanks for cooking again, Philip.
00:03:51Just ragu.
00:03:52Still food.
00:03:54Technically, it's not, but you're welcome anyway.
00:03:58So, um...
00:04:03What are you going to do about Brooke?
00:04:06I'm not sure.
00:04:07Just say that she broke our window in your statement tomorrow,
00:04:10and, you know, we'll ask her aunt to pay for it,
00:04:13and, you know, she'll go home on her own.
00:04:16She's being 15, like the Taylor Swift song.
00:04:18She's 14.
00:04:19Yeah, even worse.
00:04:20Yeah, I know, it's like when your boobs are the weirdest,
00:04:22you're wearing bad halter tops, it's a nightmare.
00:04:25I'm sure it's going to be fine, though.
00:04:26Hasn't she done this, like, a few times?
00:04:28Yeah, I mean, she's probably loving the missing person posters.
00:04:32They used a selfie, she looks great.
00:04:34Casey, she looks great, Paige, she's missing.
00:04:37I mean, it's not, like, out of character for her to do this for attention,
00:04:40but, like, I'm so worried.
00:04:43Well, you're not getting paid to worry better anymore.
00:04:45I'm worried that you're still not leaving the house.
00:04:48Okay, I showered today.
00:04:51Oh, my God.
00:04:53I did.
00:04:54You did.
00:04:55I did.
00:04:56Yeah.
00:04:57And I almost went to your show last night.
00:04:59Okay, but you didn't, so I just sat there all night, lonely Paige.
00:05:03What? You bring home strange girls from comedy bar all the time.
00:05:06I mean, lesbian sex, there's, like, a less than 1% chance of catching an STI,
00:05:10so it's not risky.
00:05:12That's not true.
00:05:15That's dangerous misinformation.
00:05:17You know what I'm talking about, though.
00:05:18It's not like lesbians, you never bring home a stranger.
00:05:21Everyone's, like, someone's ex, someone's dog walker, you know,
00:05:24someone's friend, twice removed.
00:05:26Yeah, okay, that's true.
00:05:27That is gay math.
00:05:30Speaking of exes, I did see Noah last night,
00:05:33and he said he was trying to call you again.
00:05:35Paige.
00:05:37Seriously, let's talk about anything else.
00:05:39You were saying that you have an STI?
00:05:41That's not at all what I said.
00:05:43Yeah, you were confessing to us.
00:05:44I said it's impossible for me to catch them.
00:05:46Oh, we got it wrong.
00:05:48Okay, what year do you think everyone in the world has HPV?
00:05:51Soon, I hope.
00:05:53What do you mean?
00:05:55What do you mean by you hope?
00:05:56Just kind of something to talk about with people.
00:06:00Well, you also, by the way, didn't miss truly anything last night.
00:06:03Alicia.
00:06:05I know.
00:06:06Is still doing that, like, pick me up, daddy, that, like, daddy bit.
00:06:09Daddy?
00:06:10She says daddy a bunch of times.
00:06:11Please say she retired the jean shorts over the top of the tights look.
00:06:14Okay, she did, but, sort of a twist, she added some really bizarre hats,
00:06:18so it's hard to tell if we're sort of winning or losing with her.
00:06:22We're losing.
00:06:23It's giving loss.
00:06:25It's giving loss what she did.
00:06:26Alicia's giving us loss.
00:06:34Did Brooke tell you she was intoxicated?
00:06:37I mean, she didn't tell me she was drunk, but she was drunk.
00:06:42What else did she say?
00:06:46She called me a liar.
00:06:49You know, small talk.
00:06:52And was there anything else that you noticed different about her?
00:06:57Her hair.
00:07:00Her hair.
00:07:01She dyed it blue, like this soapy blue.
00:07:04Blue hair?
00:07:05Yeah, but it wasn't, like, all blue.
00:07:07It was, like, dip-dyed kind of, so it's, like, just the ends sort of,
00:07:11but it was done, like, really shitty.
00:07:16She dyed it blue, yeah.
00:07:19Okay.
00:07:22Thank you.
00:07:25Look, I don't know what you...
00:07:31I'm really sorry you're back here, Samantha.
00:07:34Yeah, me too.
00:07:38Just get in touch if you remember anything else.
00:07:42Okay.
00:07:44We all just want to make sure that Brooke gets home safe, right?
00:07:50Okay.
00:07:53Here.
00:07:54Yeah, I have one.
00:07:57Okay.
00:08:23Thanks for waiting.
00:08:24Were you a reliable witness?
00:08:26Yeah, I remember everything about her.
00:08:28I can't get her out of my dumb brain.
00:08:30Okay, so you did everything you could, and it's out of your dumb hands now.
00:08:37I'm really sorry you're back here, Samantha.
00:08:51Okay.
00:09:09Samantha?
00:09:10Hi, are you Mrs. Renner?
00:09:11Oh, I'm her sister, Jill.
00:09:13Oh, Brooke's favorite aunt.
00:09:16Come on in.
00:09:23You're so short.
00:09:25Right this way.
00:09:30Brooke is so psychotic.
00:09:32You can have a seat here.
00:09:33Oh, thank you.
00:09:36Cameron, this is Samantha.
00:09:38Hi.
00:09:39Hi.
00:09:40Samantha, I'm Cameron.
00:09:41Nice to meet you.
00:09:43Got your resume here.
00:09:44Yes.
00:09:45Seems...
00:09:49I've never done this before.
00:09:52I'm Sam.
00:09:54I was an au pair for a family in the U.K. for two years.
00:10:00I'm also a comedian.
00:10:01Oh, I took improv in college.
00:10:03Oh, yeah.
00:10:04Zip, zap, zap.
00:10:05Totally.
00:10:07Yeah.
00:10:08Yep, love it.
00:10:10So, I mean, I spend most of my time with overgrown children.
00:10:13Why'd you leave?
00:10:14I'm still doing comedy.
00:10:15I'm still, like...
00:10:16Family in the U.K.
00:10:17Oh, I just didn't renew my student visa, so, like, paperwork, I guess.
00:10:23You're in luck.
00:10:24The only paperwork you'd have to fill out here is permission slips for field trips and things like that.
00:10:28Oh, Brooke can't do her own forgeries yet?
00:10:32No.
00:10:35I also have a fine arts degree.
00:10:39Yeah, I just thought fine arts degree feels applicable.
00:10:43Yeah, you know, art.
00:10:45Brooke loves to draw.
00:10:47That's great.
00:10:49So, here's the situation.
00:10:53Brooke's mother's very sick.
00:10:54She's in and out of hospitals all the time.
00:10:56I know.
00:10:57I'm really sorry the agency told me.
00:10:59That's...
00:11:00And I still need to work quite a bit, so I would need someone maybe to stay over a few nights a week.
00:11:06We have a guest room.
00:11:08I'd be here more, but I live an hour out and with two kids and work, it's a lot with the hospital visits.
00:11:14Totally, yeah.
00:11:15As you can imagine, the amount of change in a young girl's life has made Brooke a little difficult.
00:11:22Of course.
00:11:23I mean, that's a teenager's job, right?
00:11:28That's a joke?
00:11:30Yeah.
00:11:32I hope.
00:11:41Brooke, can you come out, please?
00:11:44No, thank you.
00:11:45I don't want a nanny.
00:11:47Mom will get better.
00:11:49I know she will, sweetie.
00:11:50In the meantime, can you just come out and meet Sam here, please?
00:11:54She's nice.
00:11:55Oh, thank you.
00:11:57Hi.
00:12:04Hi.
00:12:08Why can't you just stay at home like you used to at the beginning?
00:12:11Brooke, say hi.
00:12:13If you do, we'll go to the skate park this weekend.
00:12:15I promise.
00:12:17Oh, you skate?
00:12:19Okay, that's cool.
00:12:20Very intimidating.
00:12:23You know, we'll be in the kitchen if you guys want ice cream after.
00:12:27Cool.
00:12:28Okay.
00:12:31Okay, ice cream.
00:12:33That is a bribe I can get behind.
00:12:36Right?
00:12:38They know what they're doing.
00:12:40Maybe we trick them.
00:12:42We go downstairs.
00:12:43We're like, yeah, we're friends, and then we get the dessert.
00:12:45No, I don't need a nanny, okay?
00:12:49I'm 12.
00:12:51Okay, fair, totally.
00:12:54Why don't we think about it as being friends?
00:12:56I'll just be a friend that's old enough to know you can't have pizza for dinner every night
00:13:00or play with matches all the time.
00:13:02And I'll be paid.
00:13:05I know what you're trying to do.
00:13:07You're trying to be funny.
00:13:09And I'm not being funny?
00:13:10No, not really.
00:13:12Okay, that hurts, but the fact that you have high comedic standards
00:13:16means it's going to be easy to be friends with you.
00:13:19You're not like other nannies, are you?
00:13:22You're not like other kids, are you?
00:13:28Okay, well, if you're going to be stuck with me, what do you want to do tonight?
00:13:33I have a new episode of Riverdale.
00:13:36I love Riverdale.
00:13:44So basically, that's why I don't fuck guys who read books anymore.
00:13:50Hey, good to see you.
00:13:52Yeah, it's been a while.
00:13:53Yeah, I'm probably a lot healthier and less depressing.
00:13:56Yeah, you'd think.
00:13:58When are you up?
00:13:59Oh, no, I'm not on the lineup. I'm just here for moral support.
00:14:02Okay, well, you can joke about literally anything now, so that's good, right?
00:14:07What?
00:14:09Just that you're uniquely positioned with all the topics at your disposal.
00:14:15Yeah, I'm really lucky.
00:14:18No, I just mean, I'm...
00:14:20Tim's just jealous because you can talk about your period and he can't talk about his.
00:14:24Okay, thank you, Zara. Got me. Sorry, baby made a bad joke.
00:14:27Okay, I gotta go.
00:14:33Thanks.
00:14:34Of course, Tim's the worst.
00:14:36Oh, horrible.
00:14:37Yeah, I feel like his hair somehow got more insully.
00:14:40You know what? I don't even think there's gel in it. I just think it grows that way.
00:14:44Wow.
00:14:45Horrible.
00:14:46That's really weird.
00:14:50What? Did Tim say something dumb?
00:14:52Oh, he tried to make a certain kind of joke. So funny.
00:14:56Oh.
00:14:57I mean, Tim's obviously jealous because he is in no way relevant.
00:15:01Okay, well, what happened to me doesn't make me relevant, Paige.
00:15:03Yeah, I know that. The fact that you're a woman makes you relevant.
00:15:06Exactly.
00:15:07Garlina, bring some of that girl boss energy to the lineup tonight.
00:15:11I have genuinely missed seeing you be an annoying white woman on stage.
00:15:15Thank you.
00:15:16I have, I have.
00:15:17But I gotta go because I have a date and in his bio it says that he's a poet.
00:15:22So that'll be fun to torture my parents with.
00:15:24Okay, have fun.
00:15:26Good to see you.
00:15:27Zara, please fuck the poet.
00:15:29Please fuck the poet.
00:15:31And I would just say fuck the poet.
00:15:33One more time, yeah.
00:15:34Just for you to fuck the poet.
00:15:37So?
00:15:39All I have is what I had for my Montreal dating. It's not really topical two years later.
00:15:43Who cares, dude? Tim's still doing material about Frasier.
00:15:46Hands up if we think Niles eats ass.
00:15:49I just, I'm not ready to, like, take the think pieces and the sub-tweets
00:15:52and port them over into real life heckling and harassment.
00:15:55Your Montreal set was so good. I was so mad at you for getting that taping.
00:16:00Yeah, well, you know, you win some, you lose some lifelong dreams,
00:16:04and then you watch your friends and peers live out those dreams,
00:16:07so you don't have to be mad anymore.
00:16:13I feel like your youth pastor stuff could still work.
00:16:18I mean...
00:16:21You guys, you are in for a very special treat tonight.
00:16:25After a brief hiatus, the pride of Toronto.
00:16:29Not in the gay way, though. That was Paige earlier.
00:16:34And I guess me now.
00:16:38But without further ado, you guys,
00:16:40Sam Carroll!
00:17:11Um, that was a joke, you guys. I would never give up my first time.
00:17:15Even our dating apps will literally have in their bio, like,
00:17:18please only contact me if you take care of yourself and of your body.
00:17:22And then I will literally see them doing better as their good partners.
00:17:34You can be drunk about literally anything now, so that's good.
00:17:37You're funny! You are funny.
00:17:47So, what did you do at school today?
00:17:49We talked about our book I already read last summer at our cottage.
00:17:52At the cottage where you broke the tablet I got you for your birthday?
00:17:55Ugh. Were you annoyed with how Twilight ended too?
00:17:58I'm also Team Jacob. I was like...
00:18:01What is going on?
00:18:03You're Team Jacob.
00:18:04No, I'm actually Team Jacob.
00:18:06No, I'm Edward.
00:18:08You're Edward?
00:18:09Yes.
00:18:10Are you kidding me?
00:18:11Are you kidding me?
00:18:12Was he the one with the abs?
00:18:13They both have abs.
00:18:15I mean, completely different kind of abs.
00:18:18Like Jacob, it's a warm, cuddly ab.
00:18:21You put it in a sleeping bag, you snuggle up, you get toasty.
00:18:24Edward, ice-cold abs, cutting steel, killing people.
00:18:27With his abs. Okay.
00:18:29Yeah.
00:18:30That all seems very rehearsed.
00:18:32Is that you treating us to one of your stand-up comedy things?
00:18:35Those are usually much less funny.
00:18:37That was off the cuff, because I'm passionate about it.
00:18:40Okay, what do you actually tell jokes about?
00:18:42Yeah, I was reading about stand-up comedy,
00:18:44and it says a lot of it is apparently all about self-deprecation.
00:18:48You know, and you're not ugly.
00:18:51Not ugly.
00:18:52You're conventionally attractive.
00:18:53I'm just saying she doesn't have any affliction.
00:18:55You're not obese, you don't have a stutter.
00:18:57Okay, stop it.
00:18:58Was that a joke, Cameron?
00:19:00I mean, no, but...
00:19:03No, but actually, I mostly do observational stuff about men being bad.
00:19:08It's called political comedy.
00:19:10It's very trendy.
00:19:11A lot of women do that.
00:19:12I also do the classics, you know?
00:19:14My period, the mall, skin care.
00:19:17Guys, do I love them, do I hate them?
00:19:19I'm changing my mind, I'm going crazy.
00:19:21Where's my tampon?
00:19:23They shout it back, they go, where is it?
00:19:25And the crowd goes nuts.
00:19:27I'm going to do it all at my show tonight.
00:19:29Big period show.
00:19:32Right, which is all derivative of Ruth Buzzi.
00:19:37Who is Ruth Buzzi?
00:19:40Who is Ruth Buzzi?
00:19:42So, I realized something today.
00:19:44I realized I have a lot more in common with closeted, homophobic youth pastors than I thought.
00:19:52The same way that they're denouncing gay people is the same way I'm denouncing straight men.
00:19:58Very loudly.
00:20:00Very, very loudly.
00:20:02I'm going over town, I'm preaching, preaching.
00:20:04I'm tweeting on my phone, men are bad, they're so evil.
00:20:06Then, I'm going home, I'm blowing a graphic designer.
00:20:11Seriously though, it's like we need a Volkswagen-level recall on men in general
00:20:16because the airbag is exploding, okay?
00:20:18We've got a lot of choking hazards, if you know what I mean.
00:20:23Yeah, like if one out of every ten cars was killing its entire family
00:20:28and then the next day the news was running a photo of the car on a jet ski,
00:20:33would we still sell them? I don't know.
00:20:36Even though they're bad, they're murdering people, I am having sex with them.
00:20:41As much as possible.
00:20:44I'm at the bar, I'm signaling guys like a Republican senator signals the male intern.
00:20:50Hell yeah.
00:20:51I'm like, Kyle, I need you in the bathroom for something.
00:20:55Spraying ash, body spray, like smoke signal or something.
00:21:01So really, who am I to judge Justin Bieber's youth posture?
00:21:04Because I want to fuck Justin too.
00:21:08Thank you guys so much.
00:21:19Cheers.
00:21:49What are you doing?
00:22:19Okay.
00:22:49Hi, I'm here for Brooke Renner.
00:23:09Are you a relative?
00:23:11She's my nanny. She's late.
00:23:13I mean, we agree nanny is kind of an antiquated term, but yes.
00:23:18Are you okay? I didn't know you went to Hogwarts.
00:23:22Sorry, I'm going to need to see some ID.
00:23:24Oh, yeah, sure.
00:23:27I have that.
00:23:31Okay, this is a library card.
00:23:33Okay.
00:23:34Okay.
00:23:35Could I say, I know her full name, her middle name.
00:23:40I know her food allergies. Could I say that?
00:23:48Hey.
00:23:51What happened?
00:23:56My mom was supposed to come home, but she got an infection last night.
00:24:04And your dad?
00:24:06He decided to work if we couldn't go to the hospital.
00:24:10Well, it's perfect. I was on my way to meet up with my best friends.
00:24:13Do I have any plans?
00:24:14Oh, no, it's, we were just going to the movies and now you can come with us.
00:24:18Isn't sci-fi you and your mom's favorite?
00:24:24What kind of car is that?
00:24:26I think it's just old.
00:24:29What movie are you seeing?
00:24:31An R-rated one that you probably shouldn't be watching.
00:24:36Okay.
00:24:37And I promise I'll take you to see your mom tomorrow if she's feeling better.
00:24:40I talked to Jill earlier.
00:24:42Okay.
00:24:44So, what kind of snacks are we thinking for today? Everything?
00:24:48I don't know.
00:24:49You don't know?
00:24:56Paige and Philip, meet Brooke.
00:24:58Hey, Brooke.
00:24:59Hey.
00:25:00We've heard nothing but good things.
00:25:02Yeah, right. Sam gets paid to hang out with me.
00:25:04No, seriously. Sam's actually really jealous of your hair and your clothes, whole vibe.
00:25:10She's profoundly intimidated by you.
00:25:13Kind of pathetic.
00:25:15Sure.
00:25:17Brooke, are you coming to the movies with us?
00:25:19Yeah, if that's alright.
00:25:21Oh, yeah, any friend of Sam's is a friend of ours.
00:25:24Especially one with such voluminous hair.
00:25:26Yeah.
00:25:27Thank you.
00:25:40Yeah.
00:25:50Yeah.
00:25:51I'm gonna go grab a drink with Noah, if you wanna come?
00:25:56Um...
00:25:58No, I think I'm just gonna...
00:26:02Yeah.
00:26:03Um, didn't go well when I finally tried to go out last night, so...
00:26:07Say hi, though.
00:26:09Yeah, I'll probably just lie and say I'll call him.
00:26:12Paige?
00:26:13Hm?
00:26:15Do you think he hates me?
00:26:17He'd be an asshole if he hated you.
00:26:20Yeah.
00:26:21And he's not an asshole, right?
00:26:28I mean...
00:26:30Kinda.
00:26:31But, like, in a good way.
00:26:33I like assholes. We're all assholes.
00:26:36I'm sorry that I'm not a fun asshole anymore.
00:26:38Okay, you were there for me during the Great Depression of 2016,
00:26:41and I will never forget that.
00:26:43I was a nasty woman.
00:26:45Yeah, I know, but, like, after that...
00:26:47No, I don't wanna talk about that.
00:26:48We don't need to.
00:26:49No, I didn't think that you were jealous of my taping.
00:26:51I shouldn't have said that.
00:26:52I was jealous.
00:26:54And I probably shouldn't have told you you only got it
00:26:57because you were thin and white.
00:26:58Okay, so I'm hearing that, and you're saying I'm thin.
00:27:01You should hear that you're malnourished.
00:27:06I mean, I'm living for this, though.
00:27:07I am loving just seeing my friend laying down all day long.
00:27:11Sometimes microwaving something.
00:27:14No, I've been very horizontal lately.
00:27:17But I'm telling you, I'm not gonna be the one to drive you to physio
00:27:20when your muscles atrophy, so let's turn the beat around.
00:27:23Fuck, okay.
00:27:25Yes, move your body.
00:27:27Chair aerobics.
00:27:28Write some jokes.
00:27:31Movement.
00:27:32How about this?
00:27:33Or this?
00:27:36Yeah.
00:27:37I'll do it again.
00:27:38Shit!
00:27:40Um, I do cherish you, and I do have to leave.
00:27:44Okay, have fun at the show.
00:27:46Oh, you know I will have fun, because you know who's on the lineup.
00:27:48No, no, no.
00:27:50Alysha, baby!
00:27:51Daddy!
00:27:52Daddy!
00:27:53Well, now I'm jealous.
00:27:55Oh, daddy.
00:28:03Did you really think I'd change?
00:28:05Nothing like a good thing going the wrong way.
00:28:10Oh, girl.
00:28:13I loved you.
00:28:17The way I wanted to.
00:28:25Are you tweeting already?
00:28:27Yes.
00:28:28Morning tweets?
00:28:29Rattling off some big killer tweets.
00:28:32What?
00:28:33My boyfriend's so annoying.
00:28:34Excuse me?
00:28:35He stinks and is rude.
00:28:37What?
00:28:38Boom, viral.
00:28:39Did you tag me in it at least?
00:28:40I can't tag you.
00:28:41That's bad for the brand.
00:28:43The brand?
00:28:44Yeah, I have to shit on you, never tag you, and then a million girls are going to comment.
00:28:49So true, queen.
00:28:50How did they even know me?
00:28:53Well, it's worth it.
00:28:55Because look what I get to look at.
00:28:58What do you mean?
00:29:00Like, look what I get to look at.
00:29:02And you have to look at me.
00:29:04My view's good, too.
00:29:06But I'm just saying that the property value of being in my body is actually higher than being in yours.
00:29:12Because my face looks out at yours.
00:29:14Oh.
00:29:15See?
00:29:16And your face looks out at, like, a vacant lot where they can't build because there used to be a gas station there.
00:29:24I don't know.
00:29:25I feel like there's potential.
00:29:28I'm seeing, like, an organic cow co-op.
00:29:32Wow.
00:29:33They're building a Target.
00:29:34Nice.
00:29:35A Pilates studio for dogs.
00:29:37Okay, so gentrification?
00:29:39Unfortunately, yes.
00:29:41But the Pilates studio's going to be amazing.
00:29:44Great.
00:29:45Good plan.
00:29:47Hey, um, you know, I actually need to check the foundation of your property.
00:29:51Of mine?
00:29:52For a second, yeah.
00:29:53Why?
00:29:54Well, because there's been some concerns.
00:29:56Concerns?
00:29:57Yeah, there's been leaks.
00:29:58Leaks?
00:29:59Yeah, soil density issues.
00:30:01Oh, my God.
00:30:02And if you don't mind, a couple guys from the city are going to come down and join me.
00:30:05Oh, I'll be a couple.
00:30:06Yeah, but you'll barely notice we're here, okay?
00:30:08Okay.
00:30:09Oh, don't use your hot water for a bit.
00:30:11Okay.
00:30:12Okay.
00:30:13Okay.
00:30:14Okay.
00:30:16Hmm.
00:30:41Can I get you anything else, Sam?
00:30:44Um, do you think this premise is funny?
00:30:46It's like two old-timey dudes named Victor and Timothy come up with the term victim.
00:30:53So it's like the Vic from Victor and the Tim from Timothy.
00:30:57And it's like, oh, you're inserting yourself into that, even.
00:31:01Um, yeah, I guess.
00:31:04It's not your best work, to be honest.
00:31:06Yeah, no, it's bad.
00:31:08Thanks, Jeremy.
00:31:09Get you another Sparrow?
00:31:10Yeah, thanks.
00:31:11All right, this one's on me.
00:31:13Thanks.
00:31:35Sam?
00:31:37Can I talk to you?
00:31:38Um, Jill, I, like, asked you not to come around here.
00:31:42I'm trying to work.
00:31:43You're working again?
00:31:44Well, I'm trying to drink, but, yeah.
00:31:48How are you?
00:31:49Oh, um, thriving, obviously.
00:31:53Listen, I just want to know what you told the police.
00:31:56Just that I saw her.
00:31:58Or heard her.
00:31:59She threw a rock through my window.
00:32:02She stopped going to school.
00:32:04Well, probably because she can't throw rocks at school.
00:32:08She also, uh, released her rabbit into the ravine behind the house.
00:32:12Samity?
00:32:16Maybe she was trying to free it?
00:32:19She died of blue first.
00:32:21Oh.
00:32:23She really misses you, Sam.
00:32:26And it's even worse now, because I had to sell the house.
00:32:29My sister's house?
00:32:30And she just, she totally uprooted.
00:32:33I gave all of the information that I have, and I really doubt that she misses me.
00:32:39I mean, she literally started a petition on Change.org to have me arrested, so.
00:32:44Please, Sam, you know her best.
00:32:46Did she ever say anything to you about a Nathan?
00:32:49No.
00:32:51I'm sorry, I really am.
00:32:54Come on, please don't hold this against us.
00:32:56I'm not holding anything against you, or against Brooke.
00:33:00I just, I feel terrible, okay?
00:33:02I, I don't know how, I, I didn't see the signs, I didn't—
00:33:05Okay, don't beat yourself up about it.
00:33:06I, the last thing that I want is a woman blaming herself for all of this.
00:33:11That's not what I'm doing.
00:33:13Please!
00:33:14All I see is Brooke's mother's face every time I look at her.
00:33:17Okay, and all I see is her father, so.
00:33:33Oh, fucking keys.
00:33:37Oh my God.
00:33:38Oh, fuck.
00:33:51Brooke?
00:33:53Brooke, I'm here!
00:33:58Brooke?
00:33:59Oh my God.
00:34:02Brooke.
00:34:07It's gone.
00:34:09She, she died, I can't believe she died.
00:34:13I'm so sorry, Brooke, I'm, I'm here.
00:34:16I'm here.
00:34:17She left me.
00:34:32Brooke?
00:35:02Brooke?
00:35:20Cameron?
00:35:30Um, Cameron?
00:35:33Um.
00:35:38Brooke's asleep, I'm, I'm gonna go.
00:35:44I don't know how to do this.
00:35:49What do I say to her?
00:35:53Can you stay, please?
00:35:56Tell a joke or something.
00:35:58I, I don't, I don't know if this is the time for it, I'm sorry.
00:36:05I'm gonna be here first thing tomorrow.
00:36:08I'm gonna have all my Twilight jokes, I promise.
00:36:21I'm so sorry.
00:36:28I'm sorry.
00:36:58I'm sorry.
00:37:28Every turn, standing in the yard, dressed like a kid as she's waiting on his turn, on his turn, on his turn.
00:37:42You're moving the same circles in the same way that your own circle atoms, they must become straight bars, okay?
00:37:48Okay.
00:37:55Every turn, every turn, rusty strings and plastic slide, push me up and down, take me for a ride, standing in the yard, dressed like a kid as she's waiting on his day, on his day, on his day.
00:38:18On his day.
00:38:24How's she doing since she's been back at school?
00:38:27I let her get social media, but I don't know.
00:38:30It's cute that you think it's all just called social media.
00:38:33I mean, she's taking on this very cool teen attitude to make it seem like she doesn't care about anything, but I know how to deal with that particular defense mechanism, so we're figuring it out.
00:38:43Glad she has you to talk to right now.
00:38:45Yeah, Cameron does not really know what to say.
00:38:48So he's kind of needed a buffer between him and Brooke.
00:38:53Yeah, like a translator of girls.
00:38:55Yeah, actually, that's a great way to put it.
00:38:58Yeah, I mean, I think he thinks I'm like interesting or like endearingly weird or something, but I don't think he's ever talked to a woman in a hoodie before.
00:39:07Oh, he always loved Laura's class.
00:39:09Oh, are you calling me not classy, Jim?
00:39:10No, that's, no, I'm not. No, I just, I just meant that I think he always liked our, you know, our family friends and fancy dinners and vacations and just like Laura's life.
00:39:24You know, she's always made things so beautiful.
00:39:27You're both super classy broads.
00:39:29That's for sure.
00:39:31Thanks, Sam.
00:39:33I just really fucking miss her so much.
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:37Can we see the birds now?
00:39:38Yeah, the birds. I know. We're going to go look at the birds. Come on.
00:39:43Hey, are those those weird white ones with the pink eyes?
00:39:46They're Netherland dwarf rabbits.
00:39:51You like them?
00:39:53I mean, I wouldn't mind having one.
00:39:56You don't have to ask your dad. He won't care. He says yes to everything ever since mom.
00:40:01You know, I could name one after you.
00:40:04Okay. Tempting.
00:40:09This one does kind of look like me.
00:40:12I see it. I feel it.
00:40:14It's the energy.
00:40:15It is.
00:40:16And the cuteness.
00:40:17Oh, of course. It just has Sam written all over it.
00:40:20Yes.
00:40:23So what do you think of getting your dad for his birthday?
00:40:26A coupon for doing my chores?
00:40:29You have a housekeeper, Brooke.
00:40:32You know, it's going to be the first year that he's celebrating without your mom.
00:40:37He likes history books. Like the War of 1812 and all that.
00:40:43Okay. You're right. Your dad is boring.
00:40:46But the good news is, there's a very cool used bookstore by my house.
00:40:50I'm going to go check it out.
00:40:51The good news is, there's a very cool used bookstore by my house.
00:40:55Could we go tonight?
00:40:56Oh, I can't tonight because I'm supposed to hang out with Paige.
00:41:00I could come.
00:41:01Well, I mean, you're not really allowed where we're going.
00:41:04Why?
00:41:05Well, because it's a comedy club and you're a child.
00:41:09Wait, you don't tell any jokes about me, do you?
00:41:12No. Never. It's God's honor. I promise.
00:41:15Okay.
00:41:17Okay.
00:41:20Anna, hurry up.
00:41:21Okay. Safety first.
00:41:23Okay.
00:41:24Just locking in.
00:41:26We're on. We're ready to go.
00:41:29You know, I am working on some material about teens in general.
00:41:33Yes. How it's no fair that Gen Z already knows about, like, skin serums and stuff.
00:41:38So they're just going to rule the world with their poreless skin forever.
00:41:42Okay. You know, your skin is fine.
00:41:43Fine? Very generous. Thank you. Wow.
00:41:49What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you with a boy?
00:41:52Ooh. Oh. Sounds like there's a lot.
00:41:54There's a lot.
00:41:56Okay. One time I pissed myself in my boyfriend's car.
00:42:00You pee to yourself? With Noah?
00:42:03No. Not with Noah. My ex from junior high. Dylan.
00:42:06Oh.
00:42:07I was wearing light pink jeans. I was at a party. Everybody saw.
00:42:11And that, young Brooke, is why you should never experiment with alcohol or pastel denim
00:42:15until your bladder fully develops at age 18.
00:42:18Alcohol smells gross anyway.
00:42:20Brooke, listen to me.
00:42:22One day, probably very soon, you're going to be offered multiple coolers of some kind
00:42:27and they are going to taste like lemonade, gummy bears,
00:42:30and no matter how good they taste, you can only have one.
00:42:33Okay. Jesus.
00:42:35Okay. Because otherwise you're going to be peeing your pink jeans.
00:42:38I don't have pink jeans.
00:42:39Okay. You're going to be peeing your cool mom jeans.
00:42:41Okay.
00:42:58And so in the bedroom, he makes me call him Daddy.
00:43:10I'm sorry.
00:43:21Sam?
00:43:23Noah. Hey.
00:43:26Hey. I haven't seen you here in like a year.
00:43:30Are you doing shows again?
00:43:32Oh. No. I'm just here watching Paige and Phillip.
00:43:36How are you? Are you writing?
00:43:40I mean, not really. I have one joke about online shopping.
00:43:46Great. Nice. I love your shopping stuff. It's always cerebral.
00:43:51Cerebral?
00:43:53Wow. Thank you.
00:43:55That's very generous.
00:43:58Yeah. I mean, it's all I can write about because I basically just sit at home,
00:44:01open a hundred tabs, and then buy a bunch of T-shirts with money I don't have.
00:44:06Oh. I can go back to helping with rent if that...
00:44:12Oh my God. No. That was a joke.
00:44:15Oh. Okay. Yeah. I mean...
00:44:18I'm not going to make you pay rent. I kicked you out.
00:44:20No. That's... It's not... Kick me out. That's... Come on.
00:44:23You know, let me do something.
00:44:26I'm feeling more useless than usual, which is hard for a comedian.
00:44:29Yeah. It must be really hard for you.
00:44:33You know what I mean.
00:44:35Yeah. I know. But, um...
00:44:37Paige and Phillip are both pitching in on rent and are, like,
00:44:40ridiculously good at pretending that I'm pulling my way as a roommate, so...
00:44:46I thought you, um...
00:44:49I thought you needed time alone.
00:44:52I... I am alone. I'm... I'm alone with them.
00:44:56Yeah. I'm sorry. That's... I shouldn't have...
00:44:59No. It's okay. It's totally okay.
00:45:01Um...
00:45:03It's good to see you.
00:45:05Yeah. You too.
00:45:07Oh. I... Please. I... I didn't... I'm not... Please. I... I wasn't...
00:45:11It's okay. It's totally fine.
00:45:13Um... I actually was about to go home...
00:45:16Yeah.
00:45:18...anyway, so I'm going to go.
00:45:20Okay.
00:45:22Um... But it was really good to see you.
00:45:24You too.
00:45:26Yeah.
00:45:39Bullshit is all I'm saying here.
00:45:41Excessive. Excessive. Come on.
00:45:44You were doing the right thing.
00:45:46I know that.
00:45:48Oh. Sorry. I was just taking out the trash.
00:45:50Yeah. That's all right.
00:45:52Hey. Sam, this is officers, uh, Gerard and Lawrence.
00:45:54Hey.
00:45:56Defending my honor.
00:45:58It's, uh... It's Jim, hon.
00:46:00And, uh, this is Conrad.
00:46:02Conrad.
00:46:04And, uh, can we, uh, can we offer the babysitter a beer?
00:46:06Okay. First of all, she's an au pair.
00:46:08The less teen version of a babysitter.
00:46:10Right.
00:46:11Thank you, Cameron.
00:46:13I get it. I get it. It's like, uh, the thing with stewardesses.
00:46:15You can't call them stewardesses anymore. You got...
00:46:17Flight attendants to correct her.
00:46:19That's flight attendants.
00:46:21And the gay dude ones are actually pretty funny.
00:46:23The Seinfelds of the sky. Truly.
00:46:24Oh, no. I mean, Conrad is young-ish.
00:46:26Yeah. Thank you.
00:46:28All right.
00:46:30So, uh, what do you do with Brooke?
00:46:32You know, math homework.
00:46:34Keep her from slipping into an existential crisis too early.
00:46:36Right.
00:46:38All that good stuff.
00:46:40Yeah. Must be, uh, tough without her mom.
00:46:42Yeah.
00:46:44Yeah. She must, uh, think you're pretty cool.
00:46:46Yeah. She loves Sam.
00:46:49Well, I mean, even you and I, with our relative youth,
00:46:51are already considered old.
00:46:52I mean, even you and I, with our relative youth,
00:46:54are already considered way too out of touch
00:46:56to be cool to teens.
00:46:58Well, Cam and I must be royally fucked.
00:47:00Oh, yeah.
00:47:02Brooke's always giving me shit for saying stuff
00:47:04I'm not supposed to.
00:47:06Well, I mean, you're not supposed to say exotic, but...
00:47:08I don't know. Cameron's pretty funny.
00:47:10My wife thinks he's hilarious.
00:47:12Really?
00:47:14Oh, yeah.
00:47:16But, Cameron, what's funny about you?
00:47:18I mean, you're not ugly. You're a straight white dude.
00:47:20You don't stutter.
00:47:22There's a scene where, uh,
00:47:24an inside joke comes back around.
00:47:26Oh, yeah.
00:47:28Sam's a stand-up comedian.
00:47:30No way.
00:47:32What?
00:47:33Like a comedian, but a girl.
00:47:35Right. But I thought, like, isn't comedy, like,
00:47:37it's hard on women, no?
00:47:39Uh...
00:47:41No, it's really easy. I just wear a tiny little top,
00:47:43I get on stage, I make baby noises,
00:47:45and then I get a million dollars,
00:47:47and everybody in the audience goes,
00:47:49yes, queen!
00:47:50I got a joke from one of her sets.
00:47:52I've seen her videos.
00:47:54You've watched, fuck, you've watched my videos, Cameron?
00:47:56What?
00:47:57Which ones?
00:47:59Whoa, whoa, whoa, we have to see one of these.
00:48:01Are you on YouTube?
00:48:03Yeah, look her up. Sam Cowell, YouTube.
00:48:05Is that her?
00:48:07Yep, that's her.
00:48:0949,000 views. That's pretty good.
00:48:11Oh, my God.
00:48:13I'm a nanny, which is the politically correct term
00:48:15for old babysitter.
00:48:17Wait, you do sets at the laugh basket?
00:48:18No, the basket is not cool, okay?
00:48:20It smells like pee,
00:48:22and the floor is always wet.
00:48:24Is she a mom or a struggling actress?
00:48:26Either way, I am rock hard, so...
00:48:28You're funny!
00:48:30You are funny.
00:48:32Ugh, this is so inappropriate, Cameron.
00:48:34What?
00:48:36I had to vet you somehow.
00:48:38I'm looking out for my one and only daughter.
00:48:40I guess so.
00:48:42My big flirty move on a date
00:48:44is to make the guy pinky promise
00:48:45not to kill me.
00:48:47Yeah, more stuff about men.
00:48:49I get it, I get it.
00:48:51And then it reminds him
00:48:53that he has the power to kill you.
00:48:55We should all go see her.
00:48:57When are you there?
00:48:59No, please.
00:49:01Yeah, put us on the list.
00:49:03Is there a list?
00:49:05No!
00:49:07It is hard to be a nanny
00:49:09for this generation, though,
00:49:11because it's like,
00:49:13they know everything, you know?
00:49:15They know,
00:49:17and they know what's wrong,
00:49:19and they know which member
00:49:21of the Clinton Foundation
00:49:23made you think that it was right.
00:49:25It's like, I...
00:49:42Hey.
00:49:43Pay attention, this is a good movie.
00:49:46I don't care about space.
00:49:48You don't care about the wonder of space?
00:49:50The ever-expanding universe?
00:49:53Sandra Bullock?
00:49:58Hey.
00:50:00Are you okay?
00:50:03Have you ever burned a photograph?
00:50:05What?
00:50:07Like, in a...
00:50:09cathartic way.
00:50:11Um...
00:50:13I mean, I guess.
00:50:15Only of exes.
00:50:17Definitely of Dylan.
00:50:19Why?
00:50:21I was just thinking of deleting
00:50:23a bunch of photos off my phone.
00:50:25But you don't have any ex-anythings.
00:50:30Brooke.
00:50:32No!
00:50:34You're gonna want those.
00:50:35What?
00:50:42I just, I...
00:50:44You know, I see her.
00:50:46Every time I try to take a new picture,
00:50:48because my phone has this feature
00:50:50where, you know,
00:50:52it gathers up photos based on faces
00:50:54and just, like, displays them
00:50:56in an album, and it...
00:50:58I know,
00:51:00and the feature is horrible,
00:51:02and it adds songs.
00:51:03And it's good.
00:51:05But...
00:51:07it's gonna hurt a lot more later
00:51:09if you don't have anything to remember her by.
00:51:12I was just thinking about it.
00:51:14Okay, well...
00:51:17Maybe just do an iCloud backup
00:51:19in case you're thinking of doing anything rash.
00:51:22I'm surprised you know anything about backups.
00:51:25Okay.
00:51:27Wow, I'm not that old.
00:51:29P.S. I'm surprised the cloud
00:51:31can even store the number of selfies you take.
00:51:33No, the poses are spectacular.
00:51:35I'm...
00:51:37I'm gonna borrow this and this.
00:51:39The tilt?
00:51:41Okay, you're all set.
00:51:49So what's this movie about?
00:51:51I told you.
00:51:53Sandra Bullock.
00:51:55It's good.
00:51:57It's a lot of strings.
00:51:59They break, they tangle.
00:52:01Then strings are gonna save someone.
00:52:03Oh.
00:52:12Oh.
00:52:33Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:33Oh.
00:54:04Brooke.
00:54:06Brooke.
00:54:07What?
00:54:08What?
00:54:09What?
00:54:10What is it?
00:54:11You need to get up.
00:54:12What?
00:54:13You need to get up now.
00:54:14What happened to your head?
00:54:15I, um...
00:54:17I tripped.
00:54:18What?
00:54:19The carbon monoxide monitors are going off.
00:54:21We have to leave now.
00:54:22What about my dad?
00:54:23Why can't I...
00:54:24He's fine.
00:54:25He left.
00:54:26I turned them off.
00:54:27We have to go.
00:54:28Fine.
00:54:29No, no, no.
00:54:30We don't have time.
00:54:31We have salmon.
00:54:32He's gonna die, okay?
00:54:33It'll affect the small rabbit lungs first.
00:54:34Okay, fine.
00:54:35Fine.
00:54:36Just...
00:54:37You get the door.
00:54:38Okay.
00:54:39Be really quiet.
00:54:40Why should I be quiet?
00:54:41What is going on?
00:54:42Because...
00:54:43I can hear the...
00:54:44So I can hear the monitors.
00:54:45Just...
00:54:46What?
00:54:47Be careful of the salmon handling.
00:54:48Okay.
00:54:49What?
00:54:50Here.
00:54:51Take this.
00:54:52Are you okay?
00:54:53I'm fine.
00:54:54I'm fine.
00:54:55I'm fine.
00:54:56I'm fine.
00:54:57I'm fine.
00:54:58Are you okay?
00:54:59Are those your dad's keys?
00:55:00Yes.
00:55:01Okay.
00:55:02Let's go.
00:55:03Why are we...
00:55:04Quiet.
00:55:05Get in the front seat.
00:55:06Okay.
00:55:11Just get...
00:55:12Get in.
00:55:13Get...
00:55:14I'm doing that.
00:55:15How do I open the garage?
00:55:16Just here.
00:55:17This thing?
00:55:18Yes.
00:55:19Put on your seatbelt.
00:55:22Sam.
00:55:23Sam, it's okay, all right?
00:55:24We all got out.
00:55:25It's okay.
00:55:26It's okay.
00:55:27I know.
00:55:28Can you pull over?
00:55:29Can you just pull over?
00:55:30Can we call my dad?
00:55:32Stop.
00:55:33Okay.
00:55:36I'm gonna...
00:55:37I'm gonna call the...
00:55:38I'm gonna call the fire department.
00:55:41Okay.
00:55:44Where's my phone?
00:55:45I need my phone.
00:55:46It's right here.
00:55:47It's here.
00:55:48It's fine.
00:55:49Okay.
00:55:51What are you doing?
00:55:52Stay in the car, Brooke.
00:55:53You could be hurt, okay?
00:55:54Carbon monoxide is very complicated.
00:55:56I'm fine, Sam.
00:55:57Just stay in the car, okay?
00:56:08Okay.
00:56:10You're okay.
00:56:26You're okay.
00:56:56Let me in!
00:56:57Let me in!
00:56:58Let me in!
00:56:59Please!
00:57:00Let me in!
00:57:01Let me in!
00:57:26Okay.
00:57:46How are you feeling, Sam?
00:57:49Um...
00:57:51Is Brooke okay?
00:57:53She's here at the hospital.
00:57:54She's physically fine.
00:57:55Her aunt's on the way.
00:57:59And...
00:58:02This is what you want to file?
00:58:09Sam!
00:58:10Sam!
00:58:11Sam, what's going on?
00:58:12Are you okay?
00:58:13What's going on?
00:58:14No, Sam!
00:58:15What did you say?
00:58:16What's...
00:58:17What's happening?
00:58:18Sam!
00:58:19What's going on, Sam?
00:58:21Can you please get the fuck out of my room?
00:58:47Dude, it's so exciting.
00:58:49Yes!
00:58:50Sam!
00:58:51Paige's green card got approved.
00:58:53L.A., baby!
00:58:55What?
00:58:56What's wrong?
00:58:58What's going on?
00:59:00Hi.
00:59:01Sat on the floor?
00:59:02What's going on?
00:59:03What's happening?
00:59:04What is this Lisa Frank monstrosity?
00:59:08Why does it smell like a half-smoked cigarette?
00:59:11It's Brooke's.
00:59:13How would you get...
00:59:15I found it.
00:59:16I went back to the house.
00:59:17She's been staying there.
00:59:19No, you went back there?
00:59:22That is way too big a trigger, dude.
00:59:24You need to drop this and start taking care of yourself.
00:59:27I'm trying to take care of myself, okay?
00:59:29I know that I'm a huge fucking burden.
00:59:36I knew it, just say it.
00:59:37My PTSD is a huge fucking burden.
00:59:39For fuck's sake, it's not that.
00:59:43What?
00:59:44Dude, say something.
00:59:45I mean...
00:59:46I mean...
00:59:48Does it suck that we can't invite people over here?
00:59:50Yeah.
00:59:52You know, does it suck that you still haven't met Ravi?
00:59:56And we've been dating for five months.
00:59:58And we always had to stay at his place.
01:00:00And he has the worst sheets.
01:00:01Yes, that sucks.
01:00:03But dude, it's fine.
01:00:04It's not fine, I'm annoying.
01:00:06Sam, you have always been annoying.
01:00:08And we have always loved you.
01:00:10Just, you know, let's just drop it.
01:00:13I'm trying, okay?
01:00:14I'm doing my therapy.
01:00:15It's just imaginal exposures don't always work.
01:00:21Maybe she does need to be trying the in vitro exposures.
01:00:25No, what? It's in vivo.
01:00:26I'm not a child, okay?
01:00:28So please stop treating me like one.
01:00:30And I'm sorry, Paige, that you got good news and I ruined your night.
01:00:34Okay, you're not a child.
01:00:36But you are a daughter and a friend and a girlfriend.
01:00:41Paige, don't.
01:00:42No.
01:00:43And we all want those Sams to drop the Brooke thing
01:00:47so that we can get those Sams back, please.
01:00:50I'm not a girlfriend, okay?
01:00:52I'm not a girlfriend.
01:00:53And I'm barely a friend.
01:00:55I'm not contributing anything to this friendship
01:00:57or to society or to anyone.
01:00:59So just stop being so fucking nice to me.
01:01:13Okay.
01:01:14Well, if you want, you could start paying full rent again.
01:01:20Okay, well, I can't do that.
01:01:22It's obviously cool.
01:01:23I was just...
01:01:28I'm sorry.
01:01:31I just can't stop thinking about how much Brooke hates me
01:01:34and, like, what if something's actually wrong
01:01:37and then she, like, dies thinking I ruined her life?
01:01:43She's not dying, okay?
01:01:46She's still bullying us on Twitter.
01:01:49Okay.
01:01:51But I really think you should get in touch with Noah
01:01:54because he knows this whole situation
01:01:56and this is just so much for Phillip and I.
01:02:00I agree with Paige.
01:02:02I mean, he's a really good listener.
01:02:05Actually, more than either of you, but...
01:02:07Okay, Sam, just either, like, reach out to Noah
01:02:10or come to the all-women's ayahuasca retreat I keep talking about,
01:02:13but this has just got to stop.
01:02:18And, you know, maybe next time you're out,
01:02:21you just grab some toilet paper.
01:02:25Okay.
01:02:35Hey.
01:02:37Can I come in?
01:02:39Yeah.
01:02:45Can I get in the bed with you?
01:02:48Yeah, sure.
01:02:52I'm glad you texted.
01:03:09Are you okay?
01:03:11Yeah.
01:03:12Yeah?
01:03:13Yeah, I'm fine.
01:03:15Paige kind of made it sound like we weren't doing so good.
01:03:19Not that she told me much.
01:03:21I don't want to...
01:03:23I mean, I'm here if you want to talk.
01:03:25I could just listen to you.
01:03:34What are you doing?
01:03:35Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:03:36Are you sure about this?
01:03:38One second.
01:03:39Sam, wait.
01:03:40Just be quiet, okay?
01:03:41It's fine.
01:03:42Just let me...
01:03:43Okay.
01:03:45Okay, yeah.
01:03:49Oh, shit.
01:03:57That was, uh...
01:04:00Are you okay?
01:04:02Yeah.
01:04:04Totally.
01:04:05I'm fine.
01:04:08I'm fine.
01:04:17...committee here this evening.
01:04:19Everybody's favorite, Kitty Ritch White-Troll,
01:04:21Sam Howell!
01:04:23I do have to be nice to the guys.
01:04:25I've got to be nice to the guys.
01:04:27Somebody who hasn't gone backstage is like,
01:04:29be nice to the guys.
01:04:31Thank you guys so much!
01:04:33Oh, yeah. No, that's crazy. I've never climbed Kilimanjaro.
01:05:00Hey. Hey. Hi. Good to see you.
01:05:05Okay. I showered.
01:05:08Dude, you look hot. Thank you.
01:05:10It's killing me to be here, but I do look hot.
01:05:14You do. You're not gonna, like, ruin the party, jump off the roof or anything?
01:05:18Oh, my God, no. I would never ruin Paige's green card approval party by jumping off the roof tonight.
01:05:24Have you seen Paige yet?
01:05:26I mean, you cannot miss her.
01:05:29I'm gay, I'm a genie, and I'll grant you a wish!
01:05:35I am really happy for her, though. She deserves this.
01:05:40Yeah, you sound so happy and not bummed or jealous at all.
01:05:46But I'm really glad you left the house.
01:05:49And I'm actually even glad that you bought all the American flag stuff, even though it is...
01:05:52Thank you.
01:05:53Extremely American.
01:05:54So American.
01:05:56Yeah, so...
01:05:58Now we just need to get you back on stage.
01:06:00You're gonna help me pick a new stage name?
01:06:02What? Sam Kyle's an incredible name.
01:06:06Plus, you're probably the first Google search result now, so...
01:06:10Wow. Okay, fine. I'm gonna say it. I did it for attention.
01:06:15Sam, you shouldn't be joking about search engine optimization.
01:06:21Yeah, you're right. Nope, that's too far.
01:06:23It's too far.
01:06:24That's the line.
01:06:25There are some things we shouldn't joke about.
01:06:27No more.
01:06:28I'm gonna get a drink. Do you want one?
01:06:29I need one.
01:06:30Okay, yeah.
01:06:31I have to have one.
01:06:32Okay, well, I'll get you one.
01:06:33Thank you.
01:06:47Did she ever say anything to you about anything?
01:06:50That's fun.
01:06:58Oh, my God.
01:06:59Birdies were not like this when we were in junior high.
01:07:01They were in, like, basements or 7-Eleven parking lots.
01:07:05She told me this was a sleepover.
01:07:07Where is she?
01:07:08Is that her right there?
01:07:09There you go.
01:07:10Brooke!
01:07:12Hi.
01:07:15Are you drunk?
01:07:16It's just a birthday party.
01:07:17Okay, let's get this on.
01:07:19No, no, no.
01:07:21Hi.
01:07:22Hi.
01:07:23Um, Brooke owes me and Nathan $30 for this ran off size.
01:07:27$30?
01:07:28That's insane.
01:07:30Okay, yeah.
01:07:31Um, do you have that, sir?
01:07:32Yeah, sure.
01:07:33I'll have to give you my last $20.
01:07:35There you go.
01:07:36No, no, it's $30.
01:07:37I'm not an ATM.
01:07:38Yeah.
01:07:39Where did you guys get all this alcohol?
01:07:41Does everyone here has an older boyfriend or, you know, something?
01:07:46No, I don't, I don't want to leave.
01:07:48Okay.
01:07:49We are going to go to Niagara Falls.
01:07:51Yeah, yeah, let's go.
01:07:52We're going home.
01:07:53Let's go for it.
01:07:55Let's go.
01:08:14I miss this view.
01:08:18Yeah, we're really lucky.
01:08:21I missed you.
01:08:27Oh.
01:08:30Oh, fuck.
01:08:31Noah.
01:08:32Oh, please, Sam.
01:08:33No, that, no.
01:08:34I, I, I thought we were making progress.
01:08:37We?
01:08:38I mean, you and I just slept together.
01:08:41Yeah.
01:08:44So you're saying there's no glimmer of we anymore?
01:08:47I mean, there's barely a me right now.
01:08:49Yeah, yeah.
01:08:50Okay.
01:08:51Well, do you think there would be a you to care about at some point?
01:08:55What?
01:08:56I don't know.
01:08:57I'm, I'm just, I'm, the pronouns are confusing me here.
01:08:59You, I, everyone needs we's in their life.
01:09:03Fuck.
01:09:04Noah, this is just so not about you.
01:09:06No, I know.
01:09:07Or us.
01:09:08I know.
01:09:09I don't exist in this, okay?
01:09:10I'm just, I'm just the ex-boyfriend.
01:09:11I, I, I just wish.
01:09:15What?
01:09:16What do you wish?
01:09:19I wish I could have been there.
01:09:21I know, but you weren't.
01:09:24And that's okay.
01:09:25That's, that's why I was trying to be there after.
01:09:30But, oh, Noah.
01:09:32You know, by getting in fights on Twitter with trolls,
01:09:37by asking me, like, just why would he think I was there,
01:09:42just why would he think that?
01:09:44Okay, I will regret that fucking question for the rest of my stupid life.
01:09:47I just can't be around you, okay?
01:09:51It just makes me feel like shit to be around the people who are there.
01:09:57You can go looking around for Brooke.
01:10:03Yeah.
01:10:05I guess that I can.
01:10:07Because Brooke is, like, the one person who doesn't pity me.
01:10:13She hates me.
01:10:16It's refreshing.
01:10:19I think I'm gonna go check on the ice.
01:10:21You don't care about ice.
01:10:24I do.
01:10:25I care deeply about the ice right now, Noah.
01:10:28I'm sorry.
01:10:31Hey.
01:10:37Hey.
01:10:56Who's this?
01:10:57Hi, this is Tiff.
01:11:00Uh, herb.
01:11:01Tiffer?
01:11:02Yes, no, um, this, it's Tiffany.
01:11:05Um, Brooke's friend from school.
01:11:08What do you want with her?
01:11:11Uh, no, um, that's not why I'm calling.
01:11:15Um, I was wondering if I could...
01:11:18Whoa, not on the phone.
01:11:19Okay, look, if you want to buy, you just gotta come by.
01:11:22Okay, come by the Tress.
01:11:23What?
01:11:25The greenhouse behind the convenience store on Main Street.
01:11:28Yo, are you calling from the city?
01:11:30You sound kind of old, you know?
01:11:33Uh, no, I, I'm in Niagara too.
01:11:35This is my friend's phone.
01:11:37Um, and I just smoke.
01:11:40A lot.
01:11:41All right.
01:11:42All right, come by in like an hour, okay?
01:11:44Peace.
01:11:45Peace.
01:11:46Out.
01:11:55I can't believe you know where she is.
01:11:57I'm sorry, but who's named Tiffany anymore?
01:11:59I don't know, I just panicked.
01:12:00What, packing you albums?
01:12:02Okay, and you're sober enough to drive?
01:12:04Yes, I only had one beer.
01:12:05And you're sober enough to go out there and be a big hero?
01:12:08I just don't care what anyone thinks anymore.
01:12:10I don't even care what Brooke thinks anymore.
01:12:12I'm finding her.
01:12:13Do you want us to go with you?
01:12:15No, I have to talk to her on my own.
01:12:17I don't want to spook her.
01:12:18I wonder what this boyfriend drug dealer sells.
01:12:21I was thinking Molly.
01:12:22Guys, shut up, okay?
01:12:24Brooke could be high on anything right now.
01:12:26Do you remember how stupid we were when we were her age?
01:12:28I mean, we tried spooking dog hair once.
01:12:30Ugh.
01:12:31Okay, um, take my keys.
01:12:34Please, be safe.
01:12:35And check in with us.
01:12:37Okay.
01:12:38Because teenage drug dealers who live in Niagara Falls
01:12:40probably, you know, don't have a lot to lose.
01:12:46I'm sure I'll be fine.
01:12:47Just don't think about euphoria.
01:12:50Go!
01:12:51Okay.
01:12:52Go get our girl.
01:12:59And how long had you and Mr. Dolman been dating
01:13:02on the night of October 13th?
01:13:04It was our three-year anniversary.
01:13:06And yet, you chose to stay late at the Renner's.
01:13:09It was my job to stay late at the Renner's
01:13:12until Brooke fell asleep.
01:13:14And that night, you told Brooke
01:13:16that you wanted to leave with her
01:13:17because of a carbon monoxide leak.
01:13:21But there was no leak.
01:13:22No, I-I told her that so that I could get...
01:13:25You lied to her about your intentions
01:13:27for wanting to leave the house?
01:13:30I lied so that I wouldn't have to leave her there after...
01:13:33that.
01:13:37And Brooke has gone on the record
01:13:39saying that you were in love with her father.
01:13:44I was not in love with Cameron.
01:13:46I found him really boring and pretty sexist.
01:13:50I was in love with Noah.
01:13:56Exhibit C is one of Ms. Cowell's comedy clips from 2014.
01:14:01If everyone could direct their attention to the television.
01:14:04I mean, if you're not having rough sex,
01:14:06it's like, are you having sex?
01:14:08At that point, it's just procreation.
01:14:14And in February of last year,
01:14:16you were a guest on a podcast called
01:14:18The Crimson Wave,
01:14:20in which you said, and I quote,
01:14:22it was offensive that you hadn't been hit on as a nanny.
01:14:28Well, I mean, you're taking that out of context.
01:14:31Oh, well, I don't understand.
01:14:32Could you explain what the context is?
01:14:34The context of a joke.
01:14:35I mean, also, you're not even playing.
01:14:37Like, these are my worst clips.
01:14:39I'm still flat-ironing my hair in these.
01:14:41I wasn't even nannying for them at the time.
01:14:44I'm...
01:14:52There's no evidence that states that my client
01:14:55didn't see this material
01:14:57and that you didn't confirm
01:14:59that you wanted to have consensual rough sex with him.
01:15:04Are you gonna ask me what I was wearing next?
01:15:11If the defendant could please rise.
01:15:17In the case of the Queen versus Cameron Renner,
01:15:21on the charges of sexual harassment
01:15:24and aggravated sexual assault,
01:15:27I find the defendant guilty.
01:15:29I'm sentencing him to five years.
01:15:32Five years.
01:16:03Ah.
01:16:17She's lying to you.
01:16:19No, she isn't, Brooke.
01:16:20I know this is hard to understand.
01:16:22No, it's not.
01:16:23She's trying to take his money, okay?
01:16:25And now he lost his job.
01:16:26She just, she saw our house,
01:16:28and she saw, she saw his car,
01:16:30and she was probably glad when my mom died.
01:16:32Brooke, enough.
01:16:35Noah.
01:16:36Noah, I'm so sorry.
01:16:37I had no idea, I swear.
01:16:39And Angelina...
01:16:40Why are you on their side?
01:16:41Stop it.
01:16:42Dad loved mom, not her.
01:16:43She's a liar!
01:16:44Hey, we don't talk about women like that.
01:16:48Thank you, Jill.
01:16:51Yeah, of course.
01:16:53Get inside.
01:16:54Come on, let's go.
01:16:55Let's finish packing.
01:16:56Let's go.
01:16:58Holy shit, I'm sorry.
01:17:00Can we go?
01:17:01Can we just go?
01:17:02Please?
01:17:07She wasn't supposed to be here.
01:17:11Jesus.
01:17:27You're welcome.
01:17:32I'm sorry.
01:17:33God, I'm so mad at Brooke.
01:17:36Hey, guys, you're not alone.
01:17:37Your mom said you had to go.
01:17:39They talked about her.
01:17:40They looked so stupid.
01:17:42No, like, seriously, you look so good.
01:17:44All right, yeah, yeah, I'm down here.
01:17:45Let's just go home.
01:17:46Just go to my place.
01:17:47Like, Brooke, that should have gone.
01:17:51You said I was cute.
01:17:53I remember now.
01:17:54Yeah, yeah, go up the stairs.
01:17:56Yeah, she'll be there.
01:18:06Oh, mine's the green one.
01:18:08Yeah, those are excellent.
01:18:20Yeah, alright, everyone in.
01:18:22Everyone in.
01:18:24Is that but you?
01:18:26You're welcome.
01:18:38Fuck.
01:18:52Fuck.
01:18:58Fucking cop dog.
01:19:18I'm really sorry you're back here, Samantha.
01:19:20You can joke about literally anything now,
01:19:22so that's good.
01:19:24You're funny. You are funny.
01:19:26Is that you treating us
01:19:28to one of your stand-up comedy things?
01:19:30There's no evidence
01:19:32that my family
01:19:34didn't see this material
01:19:36and that you didn't confirm
01:19:38that you wanted to have consensual
01:19:40rough sex.
01:19:44I do want to know why you lied.
01:19:46This is what you want to find?
01:19:48This is what you want to find?
01:19:50You were freaking glad when my mom died.
01:19:52You need to drop this
01:19:54and start taking care of yourself.
01:20:04There you go.
01:20:06Did that work? Yes.
01:20:08Thanks for the extra film, Noah.
01:20:10Oh, it's my pleasure.
01:20:12There's not enough pictures of you two
01:20:14on our fridge as it is.
01:20:16Okay, well then you can leave.
01:20:20Hey, make sure you get everything.
01:20:22I did. Bye, Noah.
01:20:24Bye.
01:20:26So you want me to stick around?
01:20:28Uh, no, it's okay.
01:20:30I have to help Brooke with her math homework
01:20:32and Cameron is actually home for once.
01:20:34What? Yeah.
01:20:36And we all know that he's not a huge fan
01:20:38of the babysitter's boyfriend.
01:20:40I'm not wearing my bulletproof vest.
01:20:42I should get out of here.
01:20:44I'll wait for you till 4 in the morning.
01:20:46Okay, so I'll wake you up when I get back.
01:20:48Yes, please, yeah.
01:20:50I'll see you really soon.
01:20:52I'll see you so soon.
01:20:54I'll see you so soon.
01:20:56Okay.
01:21:12You want some ice cream?
01:21:14Sure.
01:21:16Delicious ice cream?
01:21:18Sure, I guess.
01:21:20You're so funny and you make me laugh, thank you.
01:21:22You know, it was a lot easier to cheer you up
01:21:24than I thought.
01:21:26Whatever. Can you stay over tonight?
01:21:28I really have to get back tonight.
01:21:30It's my anniversary.
01:21:34Does he go down on you?
01:21:36What?
01:21:40How do you know about going down?
01:21:42Candace says that if a guy goes down on you
01:21:44and posts about you online,
01:21:46then he's boyfriend material.
01:21:48Wow.
01:21:50Noah posts about you
01:21:52on his stories a lot.
01:21:54Yeah, yes, yeah, he does.
01:21:56That's actually
01:21:58pretty insightful of Candace.
01:22:00She's not wrong.
01:22:02Okay, new conversation topic.
01:22:04We've never done this before.
01:22:06Oh.
01:22:08Are you good on your ice cream?
01:22:10Mm-hmm.
01:22:12Okay.
01:22:14I have to go and you
01:22:16absolutely need to go to bed.
01:22:18It is so late.
01:22:20Okay, watch.
01:22:22I'm gonna get this all in one.
01:22:24Yes.
01:22:26There we go.
01:22:28Got it. Goodnight.
01:22:30Please go to bed, okay?
01:22:32Love you.
01:22:34Love you, too.
01:22:36Love you, too.
01:22:38Please.
01:22:52Please don't.
01:23:08Please.
01:23:22Cameron?
01:23:28Cameron, are you okay?
01:23:30Here.
01:23:32That's beer.
01:23:34Oh, I was just checking to make sure you were okay.
01:23:36Um, I have to go soon.
01:23:38Brooks is asleep, so...
01:23:40Why wouldn't I be okay?
01:23:42Because you're kind of drunk.
01:23:44I'm still your boss.
01:23:46You can't talk to me that way.
01:23:48Hmm?
01:23:50Okay, sorry.
01:23:52Um, I'm just gonna
01:23:54finish up the dishes and then go.
01:23:56Yes.
01:23:58I actually need to talk to you.
01:24:00Okay.
01:24:02What's up?
01:24:04So...
01:24:08I've been watching
01:24:10more of your stuff
01:24:12online.
01:24:14And...
01:24:16Can I take it back?
01:24:18You take what back?
01:24:20That you're not funny.
01:24:22You're actually funny.
01:24:24I'm actually funny?
01:24:26Wow.
01:24:28Well, thank you, Cameron.
01:24:30That means a lot
01:24:32coming from someone as riveting as you.
01:24:34Your last special,
01:24:36you said,
01:24:38it's weird
01:24:40because I like cops.
01:24:44Yeah, but then
01:24:46the punchline was
01:24:48I'm more partial to firefighters.
01:24:50No.
01:24:52That's not what I remember.
01:24:56Okay, well...
01:24:58I'm sorry
01:25:00to disappoint you, officer,
01:25:02but...
01:25:04I'm gonna go.
01:25:06Uh...
01:25:08If I
01:25:10arrest you,
01:25:12young lady.
01:25:14Okay.
01:25:16Well,
01:25:18I can talk my way out of most tickets,
01:25:20so I'm gonna go now, Mr. Renner.
01:25:22Just don't,
01:25:24Mr. Renner.
01:25:26It's Cameron.
01:25:30Really?
01:25:36I'm not...
01:25:40It's fine. It's okay.
01:25:42I'm sorry. I think it was just
01:25:44a misunderstanding. I'm just gonna go.
01:25:46We don't... We can just forget
01:25:48about this. I'm gonna...
01:25:50It's role play.
01:25:52Yeah.
01:25:54I've seen your show. I know you like it.
01:25:56Right?
01:25:58You scream,
01:26:00I'll arrest you.
01:26:04Are you serious? You're gonna wake...
01:26:08You can't resist
01:26:10an officer.
01:26:12You have to comply.
01:26:14Yeah, I know you like
01:26:16handcuffs.
01:26:18Are you serious?
01:26:20How ridiculous is...
01:26:22You're just... You're like...
01:26:24I'm not ridiculous.
01:26:28Okay, I'm just...
01:26:30Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:26:38Oh, my God. Please don't.
01:26:40Fuck.
01:26:42It's fine. It's fine.
01:26:44Hey, just look at me.
01:26:46It's fine. It's fine.
01:26:48Look at me.
01:26:50Look at me.
01:26:58Look at me.
01:27:18Look at me.
01:27:48Look at me.
01:28:18Brooke.
01:28:30Brooke.
01:28:32Brooke, you need to get up now.
01:28:48Oh, my God.
01:29:18Oh, my God.
01:29:48Oh, my God.
01:30:10Oh, my God.
01:30:18Oh, my God.
01:30:20Oh, my God.
01:30:22Oh, my God.
01:30:24Oh, my God.
01:30:26Oh, my God.
01:30:28Oh, my God.
01:30:30Oh, my God.
01:30:32Oh, my God.
01:30:34Oh, my God.
01:30:36Oh, my God.
01:30:38Oh, my God.
01:30:40Oh, my God.
01:30:42Oh, my God.
01:30:44Oh, my God.
01:30:46Oh, my God.
01:30:48Oh, my God.
01:31:00Okay.
01:31:16Okay.
01:31:18Okay.
01:31:44Brooke?
01:31:48Brooke?
01:31:56Why are you here?
01:31:58Who lives here?
01:32:00I do.
01:32:02Who else lives here?
01:32:04Nathan and his brother.
01:32:06How do you know Nathan?
01:32:08I met him with Candace.
01:32:10Oh, that fucking idiot.
01:32:12Did Nathan give you drugs?
01:32:14What do you want?
01:32:16I just smoked pot at Tina.
01:32:18It's...
01:32:20Holy shit, is that meth or oxy?
01:32:22What the hell are teens doing these days?
01:32:24I'm just chilled out, Sam.
01:32:26Why are you even here?
01:32:28Because I'm worried about you.
01:32:30Your whole family is worried about you.
01:32:32No, you're not.
01:32:34Yes, I am.
01:32:36Of course I am.
01:32:38Come on.
01:32:40That's ridiculous.
01:32:42We're going, okay?
01:32:44Who are you?
01:32:46I'm Tiff.
01:32:48All right, Tiff.
01:32:50Uh, you shouldn't be here, okay?
01:32:52Have you seen the news?
01:32:54Do you know that Brooke is considered missing?
01:32:56Brooke's not missing anything, all right?
01:32:58You know what?
01:33:00Get out of my house.
01:33:02Not without Brooke. Come on.
01:33:04I don't want to go.
01:33:06See? Brooke doesn't want to leave either, all right?
01:33:08We're having a lot of fun here.
01:33:10How old are you?
01:33:12Are you 18?
01:33:14Yeah, so what if I am?
01:33:16Well, did you know that the little girl
01:33:18you've been feeding God knows what to is 14 years old?
01:33:20Sam, stop.
01:33:22Whatever. She's taller than you are.
01:33:24Okay, plus she told me that she was, uh, 16, so...
01:33:26Yeah, well, last year,
01:33:28she was in a one-piece snowsuit.
01:33:30Wait a second.
01:33:32I know exactly who you are.
01:33:34You're the little bitch that got Brooke's dad
01:33:36locked up in the first place.
01:33:38Don't you fucking dare call me a little bitch!
01:33:40Man, come on.
01:33:42Tiff for an apple?
01:33:44You got to come packing a little more than that.
01:33:46Get up, Brooke. Let's go.
01:33:48I can't! Stop it!
01:33:50Stop!
01:33:52And I took Rosgar on my class pass three times last year,
01:33:54so do not fuck with me!
01:33:56I'll kill you!
01:33:58No, Nathan, if I ever see you come near Brooke again,
01:34:00I will come to your shitty, smelly house
01:34:02and I will kill you!
01:34:04Let's go!
01:34:06Let's go!
01:34:08Nathan, come on!
01:34:18Brooke?
01:34:20It's Sam. It's...
01:34:26You're in my hotel,
01:34:28or this is definitely a motel,
01:34:30but...
01:34:34I got you out of that house.
01:34:36You kidnapped me?
01:34:38Kidnapped you?
01:34:40Brooke, you're a missing person. I found you, okay?
01:34:42I'm a hero.
01:34:44I don't need your help, Sam.
01:34:46Okay? What is it with you kidnapping me
01:34:48from all these places?
01:34:50They're literally my friends. Jesus!
01:34:52Okay.
01:34:54I looked up what a teener was on Urban Dictionary.
01:34:56Okay?
01:34:58They're big shit.
01:35:00Shut up.
01:35:02They're smarter than that.
01:35:04Okay. Maybe not.
01:35:10Here you go.
01:35:16Did...
01:35:18Did any of those guys
01:35:20make you do stuff with them?
01:35:22What?
01:35:24Did any of them
01:35:26pressure you into doing stuff
01:35:28that you didn't want to do?
01:35:30I'm not talking to you about any of that, Sam.
01:35:32Look, Nathan is 18,
01:35:34so any of that is technically illegal.
01:35:36I turned 15 in two weeks, Sam.
01:35:38Who cares if I made out with him?
01:35:40I don't know.
01:35:42I feel like a lot of people would care.
01:35:44Nathan is nice, okay?
01:35:46He didn't do anything wrong.
01:35:48Brooke.
01:35:50And neither did my dad, you freak.
01:35:52Brooke. Freak. Brooke.
01:35:54Your father did do something wrong.
01:35:56No, he did not. Do not say that.
01:35:58I know that it's hard to understand,
01:36:00but it is not hard to understand, Sam.
01:36:02I've read all the articles, okay?
01:36:04Oh, the articles? By who?
01:36:06Jordan Peterson, all the men's rights...
01:36:08I hate you.
01:36:10You don't have to ruin our lives.
01:36:12I didn't do anything wrong.
01:36:14You know I didn't do anything wrong.
01:36:16You did do something wrong, Sam.
01:36:18Brooke, what did I do?
01:36:20My life was ruined.
01:36:22Your life?
01:36:24Yes. I can't eat. I can't sleep.
01:36:26I can't go online.
01:36:28Fuck you.
01:36:30I'm not funny anymore, Brooke.
01:36:32Okay? I'm not funny anymore.
01:36:34Why would I have wanted that?
01:36:36I don't know.
01:36:38Then what could I have possibly done to you, huh?
01:36:40What did I do to you?
01:36:42You left.
01:36:48You left.
01:36:54Even if you didn't do it,
01:36:56you left me, Sam.
01:37:04I'm sorry, Brooke.
01:37:08I'm here, okay?
01:37:14I'm here.
01:37:16I'm sorry.
01:37:26I'm sorry.
01:37:56I'm okay.
01:38:18So how do I know
01:38:20that you're not gonna run away again?
01:38:22Because if you promise
01:38:24to not tell my aunt about the drugs,
01:38:26I promise to stay there.
01:38:28No deal, Brooke.
01:38:30I only did it once, okay? Really.
01:38:32Yeah, okay, Brooke.
01:38:34And were you hiding it inside your body, too, for a friend?
01:38:36Okay, fine.
01:38:38But I do promise I will never do that again.
01:38:40It made me feel like shit.
01:38:42It's the least glamorous drug.
01:38:44It literally comes out of your skin.
01:38:46I didn't know what it was. I thought it was just weed, Sam.
01:38:48Okay, I mean, it truly changes
01:38:50the shape of your nose and your face bones.
01:38:52Sam, okay.
01:38:54When we get to somewhere with good Wi-Fi,
01:38:56I'm showing you before and after pics.
01:38:58Okay.
01:39:02Sam, there's one more thing
01:39:04if I'm gonna let you turn me in.
01:39:08So you're bargaining now.
01:39:20I know.
01:39:22I gotta go now.
01:39:24I know, I know.
01:39:26I know.
01:39:50I'm sorry.
01:39:54When we are to our kids
01:39:56tonight, here with our new host.
01:39:58She is traumatized but funny as hell.
01:40:00Put your hands together
01:40:02for Sam Cowell!
01:40:14Um, hi, everybody.
01:40:16I'm Sam.
01:40:18And tonight I'm going to tell a rape joke.
01:40:21So, um, my ex-boyfriend will not stop making my rape about him.
01:40:26He has an identical hour, same material, right after this.
01:40:30He's like, please, tell him to stay for the next show.
01:40:34So if you're like, I kind of need this, but from a male perspective, hang out.