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00:00Play does this answer your question
00:05He's having a seizure quick put a wallet in his mouth
00:11Yeah, this is me right here lobe haul you like skids
00:19Whoa, that was pretty sick. Hey, how about signing my cast? Yes
00:25I was hoping you'd let me so I've been practicing all day
00:30There
00:33You are mr. Cavendish all checked in. Oh, just curious. How did you hear about us?
00:38Hmm funny story. Really. I found you on trip planner. Oh
00:43You weren't kidding. That is hilarious, sir. Well, I hope you'll enjoy your stay
00:49I expect I shall I'm a simple man. Really. There's only one thing I ask of you name it
00:56absolute perfection
00:59Will that be a problem it shadn't not for this staff. I
01:04Only hope you're ready for absolute perfection
01:08Because it can be very overwhelming. Oh, I think you'll find that. I'm almost always
01:14underwhelmed
01:16Not while you're under my care
01:20Be careful promising what you can't deliver
01:24Deliver is our special for dinner tonight woman buy some liver
01:33Sorry, I'm late Megan just broke up with Duncan. I had to talk her through it. I was like, what did you expect Megan?
01:39It's Duncan. Glad you survived your first day survived it. I loved it. I mean the kids are great
01:47They keep saying I'm like their cool uncle. Whoa, whoa
01:50You're not here to make friends with the students if they see you as a friend
01:54They won't accept you as an authority figure. We just got a call from that girl and lobe who hates parties
01:59Apparently, there's a kegger getting a little out of hand code six
02:02I'll go write him up or we do this the easy way my boy Josh lives in that dorm
02:08He'll help me keep it mellow. Just write him up and shut him down
02:13Remember Smith. He's not your friend. Oh, yeah, then why'd he swipe me into the dining hall earlier?
02:19We mixed five cereals together and now we're crunch brothers
02:31Hey dudes and dudettes hate to be this guy, but we got a call I said we got a call
02:37I'm gonna have to ask you to turn it down
02:40Hey that you Troy
02:44Thank you
02:50Uncle
02:51Stan nice rule
02:53Don't mini fridge. We got one at HQ. It's three Pepsis and Elliot's insulin. Hey
03:00Tina's here. What up teams? You're here to party in a way. I'm here to stop this party. Come on, man
03:07Be cool. Yeah
03:11Alright, how about we just turn the music down and maybe stop drinking illegally or
03:16How about you get on your golf cart and like get out of here
03:24Don't touch my stuff man, you don't touch your stuff after I've touched your stuff or I'll have to touch it again
03:35That's it music's going off
03:38What
03:40Have you done my
03:42Jambox, it was with me the first time I kissed a girl when I lost my virginity
03:48When I experimented with Kyle Josh
03:52Shut up, man. Oh, yeah real embarrassing Kyle. You're hooked up with beautiful green-eyed Josh
04:04But do it snitch
04:08I
04:10Consider that party busted nice going Smith. How many citations you rack up?
04:16Well, no, I'm actually I've dealt with them more on a peer-to-peer level
04:20Sir, there's people gathering in the quad. Okay. It's just some kids from the party probably here to apologize
04:27I
04:32Looks like we got ourselves a protest all this over a stupid jambox
04:41Come in here me
04:44You
04:51Hey everybody gather round uncle Stan for a quick pow wow, there he is the guy who trashed Josh's place
05:00They sound pissed time to win him over with a little Willy Wonka razzle dazzle
05:14I
05:16You suck. Have you guys not seen this movie? You ruined our party and abused your authority
05:22What I was trying to be your bud. I'm cool. Uncle Stan
05:27Good with the frisbee here. Let's toss it around
05:37You're okay, you're okay
05:39Oh
06:09Oh
06:13Dear I hope I haven't woken you. Of course not. We're always here to serve
06:19Mmm, I'm feeling a bit peckish. Could you have the kitchen send up some bacon wrapped scallops?
06:24I'll get my chef right on it and some lavender scented hand towels. I'll speak to the maids
06:31Also, it's dark. So I can't be sure but the lawn looks a bit scruffy by the bristly
06:37Dewberry bush, I'll check immediately
06:42Who the fuck is this guy I
06:49Don't have scallops a five-circle hotel has everything
06:53I guess I could mold tuna fish into a little puck or or I could cut a piece of hotdog off and covered in
07:00Fish oil. I don't care how you do it. Just get it done
07:03If you do the hotdog way make one for me
07:09Soak them in lavender oil, but that'll ruin them with the $49. He's spending for that room. You can buy all the towels in the world
07:19Did you get by the dewberry bush I have no idea just mow it all mow everything
07:24Everything
07:29Everything is on its way. Enjoy your evening one more thing. I'd like to read before I go to sleep
07:36Tonight I'm in the mood for a Charles Dickens novel set in space
07:42featuring the animals from the Madagascar films
07:47Tell him it's rough, but the bones are there
07:50Good morning
07:51I'm Greg Corbin here at Groff Community College where a seed of protest planted last night has flowered and is now bearing angry
07:59Fruit, you know if we fight him, it'll be a hell of a battle. There's not gonna be a battle
08:05Looks like we're doing a battle just get off the horn with the Chancellor
08:09Got to clear him out before it turns into a PR nightmare. Did he authorize excessive force?
08:14He explicitly forbade it, but there was a wink in his voice
08:19I
08:26Everyone got their riot gear on this isn't real gear. It says property of theater department
08:32What are you afraid of the theater department? No, that wasn't my point at all now get over here and arm up
08:38We got zip cuffs pepper spray and some stuff we found on the fraternity lawns after pledge week some of its pretty badass
08:49No
08:53Way a Scarface poster, I know just where I'm putting this say hello to my little basement apartment
09:02Look at these fools. I feel like I'm watching Paul Blart except I'm not peeing myself with laughter
09:09Hey, check it out cap. I can force this down their throats and pump them full of air. Nice
09:14Let's see how long this protest lasts when they see their friends popping like blisters. Oh guys, we're not gonna hurt anyone
09:22We're just gonna project strength and authority and the kids will all go back to their dorms, right?
09:37Fan out in a line
09:40No, no like a chorus line a chorus line
09:44Now you're looking like warriors
09:54Boy these kids need cool uncle Stan to stop this from getting ugly
09:59Students listen to me. Your safety is at stake. He's threatening us. Oh, they are
10:05They've got a green light to use force and they're looking for an excuse. Go ahead and try it. We're documenting everything