Space Cases S01E01 (01) We Gotta Get Out Of This Place [VHS]
Transcript
00:30Miss Davenport, you can see we're all here, why even bother taking attendance?
00:40As assistant principal, I believe in regulations and procedure, Mr. Band.
00:45If you added those two words to your vocabulary, you could double it.
00:48Harlan Band from Earth, check.
00:51Catalina from Saturn, check.
00:54Oh, Susie's here too.
00:56Oh, joy.
00:57Your imaginary friend's here too.
00:59Rosie E. Annie from Mercury Colony, check.
01:03Good morning, Miss Davenport.
01:07Bova from...
01:08Don't say it.
01:09Uranus.
01:10I hate being from Uranus, I'm the bane of every joke.
01:14And Radu from Andromeda.
01:17Mr. Radu, I admit I had particularly high hopes for you, being our first Andromedan
01:23here at Star Academy.
01:27I had hopes for you all, really.
01:30You just wait, Miss Davenport.
01:33Maybe we can't do the job on paper, but we can do it when it counts.
01:36On our field test, we'll pass with...
01:38Your field test has been cancelled.
01:40What?
01:41What?
01:42What?
01:43What?
01:44What?
01:45What?
01:46Field training in space is both a privilege and a reward for excellence.
01:49The other cadets are already out on their field training.
01:52We deserve our shot, it's not fair.
01:54The vacuum of space isn't fair either, Mr. Band.
01:58It can destroy anyone who doesn't have what it takes to survive, and none of you has what
02:03it takes.
02:04I think so, and so does your teacher, Commander Goddard.
02:10It is for your own good.
02:18I never get out in space.
02:21Hey, where did that come from?
02:51I've never seen anything like it.
02:54It's a completely alien design.
02:57Can you imagine meeting a whole new race?
03:05Less to more than imagine it.
03:08You're not serious.
03:10I say we take a space way out there, make first contact, we'll make history.
03:15We'll be history.
03:16Uh-uh, Harlan, no way.
03:19Forget it.
03:21Spaceway connection made.
03:24Let's go.
03:25This is a major mistake.
03:27Big time.
03:28Big time.
03:29Let's just think this over.
03:42Look at the design of this ship.
03:45I'm so glad I decided to come up here.
03:47I practically had to drag you.
03:50Saturn girls don't go anywhere they don't want to, Harlan.
03:53Yeah.
03:54Just remember there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity.
03:56Not to me.
03:58The walls, they feel warm.
04:02Like the heat from the engines?
04:05No, it's something different.
04:20All right, look, let's spread out.
04:49Find out who's running this ship.
04:51Catalina, go with the writer.
04:52Rosie, Beauvon.
04:53Hey, who put you in charge?
04:56It was just a suggestion.
04:58Do whatever you want.
05:00Harlan, why not stick with Catalina and me?
05:06You know, it might be safer.
05:08Safer?
05:09With an Andromedan watching my back?
05:11No thanks.
05:12What is your problem?
05:15I don't like Andromedans, period.
05:19Trying to teach them anything is tough enough, Ms. Davenport.
05:23And now you expect me to babysit them during their...
05:26Whoa.
05:29Man.
05:32Whoa.
05:35Whoa.
05:38Whoa.
05:41Whoa.
05:44Whoa.
05:47Whoa.
05:50Whoa.
05:54Whoa.
05:57Whoa.
06:00Whoa.
06:03Miss, are you okay?
06:14She's an android.
06:16Cool.
06:24Whoa.
06:50It's cracked.
06:54Oh, man.
06:55It belongs to her.
07:07Hi.
07:10I'm Harlan.
07:11Harlan Band.
07:13Hello, Harlan Harlan Band.
07:15I am Thelma.
07:17It's just Harlan Band.
07:19What is this place?
07:22You are in the command post of the Crysta.
07:24If you would like, I could give you a tour of...
07:27Oh?
07:28How odd.
07:30Bits of my memory are missing.
07:33Oh.
07:35Uh...
07:37Well, you know that jewel that started you up?
07:40Um...
07:42It had a little crack in it.
07:45Oh, dear.
07:46How inconvenient.
07:50So, you're an android.
07:52Yes.
07:53Thelma stands for Techno-Human Emulating Machine.
07:56I am in full charge of ship operations.
07:59If I can remember what they are,
08:01would you like a detailed description of our immediate spatial coordinates?
08:06Okay.
08:08Screen on.
08:11Out our port monitor, there is a lovely view of the Horsehead Nebula.
08:16Out our rear monitor, we have a rapidly diminishing view of the Star Academy.
08:21Within the next five seconds, we will have left it far behind.
08:24Possibly forever.
08:26Wait, wait, wait. Hold it.
08:27What did you say?
08:32Hello, Harlan Harlan Band.
08:33I am Thelma.
08:35You are in the command post of the Crysta.
08:37No, no. Forget that. Forget that.
08:39All right.
08:45And you are?
08:46Harlan. Harlan Band.
08:49Hello, Harlan Harlan Band.
08:51I am Thelma.
09:00Did you hear that?
09:03I'm not exactly on your level when it comes to hearing things, Radu.
09:06I thought I heard something like engines coming from that direction.
09:11You don't think this ship is moving, do you?
09:14I'm not.
09:15You know, with all the risk we're taking, I sure hope this entire adventure is worth it.
09:26This has got to be the engine room.
09:29Have you ever seen anything like it before?
09:32Only in my wildest dreams.
09:37Or nightmares.
09:43Are you in here?
09:48Rosie?
09:55Rosie!
09:58Boba? Is that you, Boba?
10:02I think this is the bunk room.
10:04And there are drawers with changes of clothes and everything.
10:07Isn't it great?
10:08It's the pandas.
10:10They sneak off the Star Academy onto this ship, and it's my fault.
10:13You should have been watching them.
10:15If someone's going to call himself a teacher...
10:17No. What I call myself is a former starship captain,
10:21busted in rank for no good reason and reassigned as a fleet instructor.
10:24No good reason, that's not what I hear.
10:26Well, whatever you heard, you heard wrong.
10:34Boba, we haven't found a single crew member yet.
10:37What if they all just disappeared or something?
10:41Then we probably will, too.
10:43Oh, Boba, you've got to be positive.
10:45On Mercury, we always look on the sunny side of the street.
10:48But of course on Mercury, both sides of the street are the sunny side.
10:55Oh, ow.
10:57Oh, I think I hurt my shoulder on that bunk.
11:00Back massage.
11:07Oh, thanks, Boba. That feels good.
11:11What does?
11:16Watch it, Rosie. You're overheating again.
11:26I'm going to regret this.
11:37It's almost like it's alive.
11:40Susie, what do you think?
11:44You're talking to your imaginary friend again?
11:48She is not imaginary, she's invisible.
11:51There's a difference.
11:52And also, be nice because she's an engineering genius.
11:56Like me.
11:59So, what do you and the imaginary...
12:03Sorry, invisible engineering genius think about these engines?
12:07Well, we think this might be some kind of hyperdrive processor for faster than light travel,
12:12but it's got a lot of alien design.
12:17Well, don't touch anything.
12:20The last thing we want to do is start this thing up and head into deep space faster than...
12:25Boba!
12:33What's happening? What's happening?
12:35I think Boba's electrical blast just triggered the hyperdrive.
12:45Good news. We are no longer moving away from the Star Academy at sub-light speed.
12:50That's good.
12:51The hyperdrive engines have been activated. We are presently moving faster than light.
12:56What did you say?
12:59Hello, Harlan, Harlan Band.
13:03There you are.
13:05You are in so much trouble, Mr. Band.
13:07No, we are in so much trouble.
13:09We just left the solar system going faster than light.
13:13You, who are you?
13:14I am Thelma.
13:16Can you turn us around?
13:28Can you turn the ship around?
13:31I will need much bigger arms.
13:34Are there any crew members on this ship?
13:37Yes, there is one from Earth, from Saturn, from Mercury, from Uranus, and from Andromeda.
13:45That's not the crew, that's us.
13:47Yes, you are the crew.
14:08There must be some mistake. They can't be the crew.
14:11Yeah, we can't be the crew.
14:12They're just students.
14:14Flunking students. The space cases, the misfits, the...
14:19Nothing personal, Mr. Band.
14:21You know, maybe we could be the crew.
14:23Don't count on it. We're going to end this little adventure double quick.
14:27These things, are they part of the control system?
14:29I think so, but I don't remember the proper combinations.
14:33Is there anything you do know?
14:55The crystals won't move.
14:57The controls are frozen.
14:58No, they're not. Look.
15:06Why won't this ship work for me?
15:09Well, maybe...
15:11Maybe...
15:13It only works for kids.
15:21It's haunted!
15:24Oh look, bunnies!
15:28It's not working.
15:30Maybe Boba's electrical bolts fused the relays.
15:33Good, blame it on me.
15:34These relays are in some strange alien language, but as near as I can tell, we're light years away from home and still going.
15:41Boba, see if you can find a backup control room somewhere, and we'll keep trying to shut down the hyperdrive from here.
15:47The Crysta has two means of propulsion.
15:49An ion glide with solar sails propelled by solar winds, and a hyperdrive engine fueled by a polar mix.
15:56Why do they call her the Crysta?
15:58I'll ask the questions here, Mr. Band.
16:00Why do they call her the Crysta?
16:02It is named after an Earth teacher who died during the early years of space exploration.
16:06Why would an alien ship be named after an Earth teacher?
16:09Would you like to know?
16:10Yes.
16:11So would I.
16:13Of course, I'd also like to know the nature of that large spatial distortion chasing us.
16:17What spatial distortion?
16:19Screen on.
16:23That spatial distortion.
16:26A white circle.
16:27It's a legendary spatial rip, a tear in the fabric of space.
16:30For a legend, it looks disgustingly real.
16:33What happens if I pulled in?
16:35Theoretically, you could wind up falling through to any part of the galaxy, maybe the universe.
16:39It's a cosmic fast lane.
16:41I don't know for sure, though. No one's ever survived to report back.
16:44Can we all run it?
16:46Yes, as long as the hyperdrive engines are functioning.
16:50Mr. Bova, where are the others?
16:52In the engine room. They're trying to shut down the hyperdrive.
16:56No!
17:12The junk tubes run throughout the ship.
17:17You can program your destination with this.
17:25Where's the engine room?
17:27Okay, pull this, push that, and pull this.
17:32Okay.
17:33Okay.
17:34Okay.
17:35Okay.
17:36Okay.
17:37Okay.
17:38Okay.
17:39Pull this, push that, and Susie says you should power down the hyperdrive.
17:45Either that or flush every toilet in the ship.
17:48Very funny.
17:51Okay, well, here goes.
18:09Nice call, Susie.
18:11Commander, what are you doing here?
18:13I'm here to bring you kids back.
18:15But first we have to make sure that you didn't shut down the hyperdrive.
18:18Well, uh, we thought we had, but, uh, apparently not.
18:25Is that what I think it is?
18:27Yep, the hyperdrive just shut down.
18:29Susie says it'll take 20 minutes to restart it.
18:32We haven't got 20 minutes.
18:34Don't you get it, Commander?
18:36The ship won't respond to you, just us.
18:39It, I don't know, it bonded with us or something.
18:42Why don't we take a shot at it?
18:47Ben, help!
18:48Catalina, engineer.
18:49Rosie, Boba, standing and tactical.
18:51Redoubte, take navigation.
18:52I don't want to see this ship crash.
18:54Ben, help!
18:55Catalina, engineer.
18:56Rosie, Boba, standing and tactical.
18:57Redoubte, take navigation.
18:59I don't want to see this ship crash!
19:01Ben, help!
19:02Standing and tactical.
19:03Radu, take navigation.
19:04I don't want him navigating.
19:05Do it.
19:06Lot of course.
19:07Bring us to 180 on the X-axis.
19:08I'm on it.
19:09I'm on it.
19:10I've got as much power going in the solar sail as I can.
19:11It's catching up.
19:12We are going to die.
19:13We are all going to die.
19:14We're going in.
19:15Oh, no.
19:16Oh, no.
19:17Oh, no.
19:18Oh, no.
19:19Oh, no.
19:20Oh, no.
19:21Oh, no.
19:22Oh, no.
19:23Oh, no.
19:24Oh, no.
19:25Oh, no.
19:26Oh, no.
19:27Oh, no.
19:28Oh, no.
19:29Oh, no.
19:30Oh, no.
19:31Oh, no.
19:37Delma, what's our position?
19:38We're around the floor, sir.
19:41I think he means, where in space are we?
19:44Why did the Y circle spit us out?
19:46One moment, I am already calculating.
19:49I don't believe this.
19:50I just don't believe this.
19:52This can't be happening.
19:53We're lost in space.
19:56Ah ha.
19:57The length of our trip back will be 7 years, 4 months, and 22 days.
20:11What are we gonna do?
20:13Susie, maybe if we put our heads together we can think of something.
20:16I knew this would happen! We're dead!
20:18What, so you're saying Susie isn't?
20:19This is insane! I have theater tickets for tonight!
20:22This is on a Saturday!
20:23How's she gonna be dead?
20:24I should be back home with the principal!
20:26The only thing you can trust this drama for is to screw things up!
20:29Quiet!
20:33I was three weeks shy.
20:36Three more weeks and my career as a teacher would have been over.
20:41I'd have been back out in space with a crew.
20:44Instead I'm...
20:46Back out in space?
20:48With a crew?
20:53I put my time in Blasted.
20:55This isn't fair.
20:58The vacuum of space isn't fair, Commander.
21:00It can destroy anybody who doesn't have what it takes to survive.
21:04Right, Miss Davenport?
21:05Actually, when I told you that,
21:08I was quoting an essay written by a promising young Star Academy cadet some years back.
21:13One...
21:14Seth Goddard, by name.
21:16I consider some of your early work required reading.
21:21So...
21:23What do we do now, Commander?
21:29I won't lie to you.
21:32As exciting, as tempting as space can be,
21:36it can also be harsh and unforgiving.
21:40Now, for some reason this ship thinks of you as its crew.
21:44You've got to start thinking of yourselves that way, too.
21:48Yeah.
21:52But I saw you do it earlier.
21:54And I think you can do it again.
22:14Mr. Atoo, what do you say?
22:16Scenic route?
22:17Sounds good to me, Mr. Band.
22:20Engines are online.
22:22Gentlemen, set course for home.
22:24Not a problem.
22:28How do you do that again?
22:46How do you do that again?
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