• 5 months ago
Asian Adult Super Star
Transcript
00:00Let's go through this step-by-step. How did a girl who was brought by her
00:05parents to the United States from Lebanon, your home country, schooled in
00:09the United States, clearly smart, went to university in Texas, read history, how did
00:14you get involved with the sex porn industry? I don't think low self-esteem
00:21discriminates against anyone. It doesn't matter if you come from a great family
00:25or if you come from a not-so-great background. I struggled my entire
00:30childhood with weight and I never felt attractive or worthy of male attention
00:36and suddenly my first year of college I start losing all this weight from making
00:42small changes and by the time I graduated I was ready to make a bigger
00:47difference. I felt extremely self-conscious about my breasts because
00:50that was the first thing to go when I lost all the weight. I lost about 50
00:54pounds, I don't know how many kilos that is or stones. Well it's a
00:58considerable amount of weight. Yeah. It changed you physically. Completely. So my
01:02biggest insecurity was my breasts so I wanted to more or less go back to what
01:07they normally were and once I did that I started garnering all of this attention
01:12from men and I was never used to it and I felt like unless I held on to it and
01:18kind of did what was asked of me or what was expected of me it would go away.
01:24And after feeling what it was like, that validation and you know the
01:28compliments for the first time, I did not want that to go away.
01:33You were spotted, I think, on a street. I mean there you were, you were a young
01:37graduate wanting to sort of find a job and you were spotted on a street by a
01:42guy who said I can work with you and clearly he opened up and said it's the
01:49porn business. What was it in you that far from running away was drawn
01:55into it? It wasn't, that's not how it was, it wasn't just hey do you want to come
02:01do porn, it was more so oh you're beautiful like would you like to do some
02:04modeling, oh you know you have a great body like I think you'd be great in
02:08nude modeling, things like that and after I came and toured the studio you know it
02:13was very respectable, it was a gorgeous location, it was in Miami in Doral,
02:18Florida. It was clean, everyone who worked there was nice, all of their
02:23cubicles were decorated with family photos, like it was nothing dodgy or
02:28that made me uncomfortable. And after, the first time I went in wasn't
02:33the first time I filmed a porn movie, it was the second time. The first time was
02:42more so do you want to do this, like sign the paperwork, etc, etc. These guys, they
02:47just saw you frankly as a money machine. Absolutely. But you still had no advisors,
02:53you had no lawyer, you had no nothing. What 21 year old has a lawyer on
02:57retainer? I'm just trying to get my head around how stressful this must have been
03:04and whether even now, because you sit here so poised and obviously a lot of
03:08time has passed and you've moved on, but do you think there is some sort of
03:12post-traumatic stress that is in you from this experience? Yes and I think it
03:18kicks in mostly when I go out in public because the stares I get, I feel like
03:24people can see through my clothes and it brings me deep shame. It makes me feel
03:28like, it makes me feel like I lost all right to my privacy, which I did because
03:35I'm one Google search away. And those images you cannot expunge. You have no
03:43right, even though it is deeply personal to you, you have no right to remove them
03:48from anybody's view around the world. It is very hard and I'm just thinking this
03:57isn't, I mean this story is your story, but frankly it's also the story of other
04:02porn actors and actresses. I honestly started seeing that recently after the
04:09interview came out and people started reaching out and all of the emails go, my
04:14manager checks them and when he gets stuff like that he filters them and
04:18sends them to me. And reading the words of some of these girls who have been sex
04:23trafficked and forced into porn and all of these stories of girls whose lives
04:28have been ruined by it and by men who have taken advantage of them and by
04:33contracts that they didn't even understand the jargon of, it makes me feel
04:38like, okay maybe it was good that I started talking and that I posted this
04:42interview and that I'm speaking out now because other people feel the same way.
04:48And even if they don't relate on as deep a level as doing porn, they can relate on
04:55the level of being insecure and being pressured into doing something they
04:58didn't want to do. You were wearing the Islamic headscarf, often known as hijab,
05:04and of course then it developed into a sort of sex scene. You must have known
05:10how provocative that was. I verbatim told them, you guys are gonna get me killed.
05:16And they said? They just laughed. Why didn't you then say, I'm not doing it?
05:25Intimidation. I was scared. I knew that if I said no, it would, it would, you know,
05:33they're not, they're not gonna force you to do it. That's, at that point,
05:38that's rape. No one's going to force you to have sex. But I was still scared. I
05:43mean, I, have you ever felt scared to, not scared, but nervous to speak up and say
05:50something at a restaurant when your food's not right and the waiter comes by
05:53and says, how is everything? I was intimidated. I was nervous. We interview a
05:57lot of people and many of them are middle-aged or older. It's great to have
06:00somebody in the studio who's only 26 years old. There is a school of thought which
06:05says that, that our culture as a whole, and I'm not just talking about the United
06:09States or the UK, but many, many countries, is being pornified and that young people
06:13in particular are so exposed to pornography, so young in their lives, that
06:18it's, it's materially changing the way males and females relate to each other,
06:23the way they think about relationships, in a potentially very corrosive, damaging
06:29way. What's your take on that? Of course it affects relationships. Porn addiction
06:34is very prevalent in America and I'm sure here too. The things that men see in
06:40videos, they expect from the women in their lives and that's just not reality.
06:45No one is going to be that perfect. No one is going to do those acts on a
06:51Wednesday night with the person they love.