An expert has revealed the dos and don'ts of a wedding speech - including not reading off a phone and making sure to prepare in advance.
Heidi Ellert-McDermott, 47, delivered her own wedding speech and helps other people - including Radio 2 DJ Scott Mills - deliver theirs.
She says speeches have the power to "surprise" and "delight" wedding guests and make people in the room feel loved - leaving them remembering the speech for the rest og their lives.
Heidi has revealed her dos and don'ts for a good speech including ditching the stag do tales and ticking the etiquette boxes.
Heidi, author and founder of Speechy, from Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire, said: "As a guest, I want to know where the love is.
"I want to learn something about the couple, either individually or as a duo, and I want to be left rooting for their marriage.
"Speeches have the power to surprise and delight, and a great speech creates the roadmap of the couple's relationship for the guests."
On Heidi's wedding day, she says she got more compliments about her speech than her dress.
She recommends starting to write the speech at least two months before the big day.
She said: "A wedding speech is not something you should be knocking out in an afternoon.
"It has the potential to create a cherished memory and impact your relationships with people for decades to come."
One of Heidi's biggest pet peeves when it comes to a wedding speeches are clichés like 'thank you for making me a better person' because they are "meaningless" and "slightly annoying".
She said: "Admittedly, talking about love in a unique way is difficult but read through the first draft of your speech and cut those platitudes.
"Instead, focus on the everyday reality of your relationship and bring that into focus.
"Are they the only person you can watch the Mandalorian with? Do they make your porridge just right? Get real and get specific.
"Adjectives also make us lazy and a wedding speech dull. Bring the adjectives to life with real life examples."
Heidi says humour is a great way of engaging the audience in a speech but insists there is no need to act like a professional comedian.
Heidi said: "The trick is to be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them.
"Ditch the stag do tales and only bother with the proposal story if something went wrong and it’s funny."
A trend that is a big plus for Heidi is a 'double act speech' - where the bride and groom or same sex couples take part in the speech together.
She said: "You both get to thank your friends and family, no one talks on behalf of the other and you can rehearse your speech together.
"It also takes the pressure off just one of you, allows you to discuss your speech and have fun with it along the way."
Dos -
- Tick the etiquette boxes
- Prepare you speech in advance
- Find your own humour
- Make everyone in the room feel loved
- Collaborate with your partner on the speech
- Don't stick to traditional roles of who gives the speech
Don'ts -
- Don't read off phone
- Don't do a presentation
- Don't cry straight away
- Don't speak for longer than 10 minutes
- No crude gags
Heidi Ellert-McDermott, 47, delivered her own wedding speech and helps other people - including Radio 2 DJ Scott Mills - deliver theirs.
She says speeches have the power to "surprise" and "delight" wedding guests and make people in the room feel loved - leaving them remembering the speech for the rest og their lives.
Heidi has revealed her dos and don'ts for a good speech including ditching the stag do tales and ticking the etiquette boxes.
Heidi, author and founder of Speechy, from Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire, said: "As a guest, I want to know where the love is.
"I want to learn something about the couple, either individually or as a duo, and I want to be left rooting for their marriage.
"Speeches have the power to surprise and delight, and a great speech creates the roadmap of the couple's relationship for the guests."
On Heidi's wedding day, she says she got more compliments about her speech than her dress.
She recommends starting to write the speech at least two months before the big day.
She said: "A wedding speech is not something you should be knocking out in an afternoon.
"It has the potential to create a cherished memory and impact your relationships with people for decades to come."
One of Heidi's biggest pet peeves when it comes to a wedding speeches are clichés like 'thank you for making me a better person' because they are "meaningless" and "slightly annoying".
She said: "Admittedly, talking about love in a unique way is difficult but read through the first draft of your speech and cut those platitudes.
"Instead, focus on the everyday reality of your relationship and bring that into focus.
"Are they the only person you can watch the Mandalorian with? Do they make your porridge just right? Get real and get specific.
"Adjectives also make us lazy and a wedding speech dull. Bring the adjectives to life with real life examples."
Heidi says humour is a great way of engaging the audience in a speech but insists there is no need to act like a professional comedian.
Heidi said: "The trick is to be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them.
"Ditch the stag do tales and only bother with the proposal story if something went wrong and it’s funny."
A trend that is a big plus for Heidi is a 'double act speech' - where the bride and groom or same sex couples take part in the speech together.
She said: "You both get to thank your friends and family, no one talks on behalf of the other and you can rehearse your speech together.
"It also takes the pressure off just one of you, allows you to discuss your speech and have fun with it along the way."
Dos -
- Tick the etiquette boxes
- Prepare you speech in advance
- Find your own humour
- Make everyone in the room feel loved
- Collaborate with your partner on the speech
- Don't stick to traditional roles of who gives the speech
Don'ts -
- Don't read off phone
- Don't do a presentation
- Don't cry straight away
- Don't speak for longer than 10 minutes
- No crude gags
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FunTranscript
00:00Hi, I'm Heidi, and I'm the founder of Speechy, and we're all about making wedding speeches better.
00:10Speechy is made up of an elite team of comedy script writers.
00:15We've got a background writing for BBC shows, comedians, and ghost writing for famous presenters.
00:23Now we're devoted to helping you write a wedding speech that's memorable for the right reasons.
00:31We offer a range of products and services, starting with our bespoke service,
00:37where you work one-on-one with your very own dedicated speech writer.
00:42We also offer an edit service, where you send us your first draft of your speech,
00:48We make it better by working through the structure, the etiquette, and making every line punchier.
00:55We also offer a range of speech templates for a variety of roles,
01:00ranging from the father of the bride to the groom, the best man to the maid of honour, of course the bride and the mums.
01:09So if you're struggling with your speech, or you know someone who is,
01:14then check out our page, get all the advice you need, or book in for a call.
01:19We'd love to speak to you.
01:22The Speechy team have been helping people around the world deliver a better class of wedding speech for years,
01:28and our speech writing advice has been quoted everywhere,
01:32from the New York Times to Brides, and from Forbes to Grazia.
01:37When I first heard about AI, I was genuinely sceptical that it could ever produce a meaningful, witty and original wedding speech.
01:46I mean, how could it possibly get the balance between humour and sentiment right?
01:51How could it create a good structure and a compelling narrative?
01:55How could it ever be as good as, well, the Speechy team?
02:01We quickly discovered that AI had a really good sense of humour.
02:05It was taking different parts of the inputs that we were giving it,
02:09and it was generating jokes that humans might not have even thought of, but they were funny.
02:16So that's why we spent nine months creating Speechy AI,
02:20using the brain, speed and simplicity of artificial intelligence,
02:25and then training it in all the speech writing techniques and principles the Speechy team have been perfecting over the last decade.
02:34And now it's ready for wedding speakers around the world to use, and we've made it super easy.
02:40All you have to do is answer a series of questions online.
02:44Now, I'm not going to lie, there's about 40 of them,
02:48but if you want to deliver a speech that's genuinely great and truly unique, then you need to put a bit of effort in.
02:56You can probably fill in the questions in about 45 minutes,
03:00or if you want, you can save your responses and keep coming back to them before you ask it to generate your speech.
03:07The more Speechy AI has to work with, the better your speech will be.
03:12Before we launched Speechy AI, we tested it on a range of users from around the world, young and old,
03:17and they were all super impressed with the results.
03:20They were all laughing out loud at the speeches that were generated.
03:24The speeches it produces are unique, funny and sweet.
03:28Sure, they can have a few quirks, little details it misinterprets maybe,
03:33but that's why we've also built an edit function,
03:36which allows you or Speechy AI to edit any section that doesn't quite work for you.
03:42So I'd encourage any speaker to give it a go.
03:46Elevate your wedding speech game with Speechy AI.
03:50Your words, our touch.
03:58Speechy AI
04:28Speechy AI